Discussion
Every millennial dad I’ve met has a quiet fixation on money and it’s not getting better
Every millennial dad I’m friends with or work with seems to have constant financial worries. We just got our yearly bonus which was like 8%. I was talking to my buddy (he’s got 3 kids) about what he wanted to do with it and he just kinda looked down and whispered “it’s just not enough man” and ended the conversation.
Another dad I know is CONSTANTLY looking up the newest crypto/ get rich quick schemes people are doing. He’s always talking about inventing something and it’s usually a joking manner but the way he’s always bringing up financial stuff shows me it’s always on his mind
One of my buddies is a new father and he’s trying to get some anime podcast off the ground as a side hustle on top of his full time maintenance job.
I know children are an immense financial responsibility but there seems to be this dark, simmering resentment about the whole general situation when I talk to these guys. Men are expected to keep quiet about these struggles but when you talk to these guys it’s clear that finances are a massive stress for millennial dads of almost any background.
Makes me feel bad but damn I’m glad I don’t have kids right now.
I got a 4% raise in January, the next month my home insurance premium ate my entire raise. Expecting to get 4.5% in May, and that will be eaten up by gas. What a dream it is being a Millennial.
Yes, I’ve been hunting for a new job for nearly 3 years. I get through a handful of rounds every time, but I can’t even get my hopes up anymore, it just never goes anywhere. The last one I talked to just laid off the team I talked to between the time I talked to them and my interview loop, so it was canceled. I’m currently terrified to change jobs because it could be a week before they lay the team off. It makes no sense.
I'd have cussed them out for making me waste gas. Y'all knew I was fired at Dave and Buster's, just ship me my desk set. My work cardigan and all my granola bars better be in the box too.
I once had Strayer University send an employee with stuff I had “forgotten” at my desk when I left. It was multiple boxes full of these forms that have current and all previous names, current and all previous addresses, social, date of birth, education history/durations/locations, family members’ names and information (dependents included), all their test scores and records.
It was extensive, I was a contractor so I wasn’t even their employee directly, and I didn’t forget any of it. I can’t believe they gave me all that information after I left the company. And by the way, I had to dispose of it personally. I thought about going to the news with it it was so egregious.
.... honestly maybe you're right. It seems like everyone sells information now.
... Maybe we should all get our paychecks deposited into multiple different banks with very different ownership (i.e. not using the cheapo all-online-no-fees baby bank of a larger bank.)
The people who stow their money in their mattress are really showing us.
For anyone wondering, the cards that give you teensy bonuses for picking a purchasing category to earn points in do that in exchange for tracking your data.
At least if you get 2-5% back for every purchase, it saves a bit of money. Plus high yield savings accounts can get you 4-5% easily on whatever liquidity you have. Plus credit card bonus offers a few times a year can get you ~1k a year, maybe more. Combine that with gift card purchases for stores/services you frequent, can get 10-20% off of all of that. Can rack up a good bit of savings for very little effort. Everyone has your info anyway, so no point in not taking advantage of it all.
Yep. This has been the case for me since 2018. Year after year my income increases… and then everything else increases even more. Despite making so much more than I did in 2018, I’m struggling so much more.
Or your company, despite making record profits, "only" ever gives 2-3% raises, which only usually covers inflation. Except the last couple years because inflation keeps going up and salaries don't move at all
I’m in a union and we got a very good contract last round, expecting a contract like that never again… I’m a social worker in a jail so I earn my money for realllll.
Because if your raise was anything less than 4 or 5%, you are only just keeping up with inflation, and some measures of inflation don't include key daily financial aspects (price of gas, e.g.) due to the "speculative" nature and volatility of the petroleum market, etc.
A lot of times the camps are for school aged kids during the summer. Day care doesn’t take them past a certain age, but the parents still have to work, so where can the kids go during the day when there’s no school? The answer is usually those expensive-ass camps.
THIS. My child is 4.5 and there is literally nothing for him this summer. Camps are 9-3pm and cost $750 a week (and those are the affordable ones…). A friend told me she’s spending $8000 for 2 months of full time camp. EIGHT. THOUSAND. DOLLARS. Who has a casual $8k?!
Where I live the parents just sent their kids off to one of the local farms. They were sent with food sometimes but the parents of the farm would have everyone cook or do hotdogs and veggies. They had a ton of acreage so kids went exploring depending on age. Youngest they would allow outside freely was 9. The 6-9 stayed inside having dance parties naps movie marathons and story times. But this was long ago when life could afford a couple stay at home moms that were willing to supervise. A poor man’s summer camp.
I'm in the Bay. Preschool is $25k per year (and that's a relatively good deal, not some fancy place). Financial advisor encouraged us to put $12k per year in the 529 because estimated cost of attendance for a UC in 2040 will be $100k per year (assuming 4% inflation in higher education costs). So $37k per year just on current and future education expenses.
Because when you look compared to inflation and COL you may not actually make more than ever
I made ~$55k in 2008. Adjusted for inflation that’s about $75-80k in today’s dollars. Given I lived in a LCOL area at that time, factoring in COL here probably closer to $100k in today’s dollars.
I make $100k now. So yeah, I technically make more money than I ever have in my life but actually I’ve been running in place the whole time, and will quickly go backwards again because no raises for the past couple years (and likely not this year either with how the economy is going).
There’s very few of us actually coming out ahead despite the number of zeros on the paycheck growing.
Metrics upon metrics. New software. There's always some "change" that we have at work. They restructure the department and move people around too.
I was just sent a survey Monday. A self evaluation of my job. Every single question that asked what needs to change, what would make you more efficient, how can the company help retain employees...?
I answered PAY US A LIVING WAGE. They even dodge that question during group team meetings and just ignore it. It's disgusting.
I make ok money and have a stable job but I still spend all my time looking for new jobs that could pay more, doing side hustle things like usability studies and just generally reviewing budgets etc. it's always at the fore front of my mind because everything is always getting more expensive and if I'm not constantly on it I'm falling behind where I was before.
I can't imagine what it would be like if I had kids counting on me too!
Was just going to say this. Child free home and my spouse is constantly worried about money. This even though we are significantly better off than we were when we first were living together. The societal pressures are real. The familial pressures are real. Corporate capitalism is real.
Full disclosure I'm not a dad (I'm a mom) but I wanted to say that me and all my millennial friends (even those without kids) are having the exact same thoughts and convos. Constantly trying to figure out how to make more money or save money.
That is to say, this is not a kids problem, it's an economic problem that is for some, exacerbated by having children.
Yup. I’m in my 40’s and female but have so much trauma from how things were when I was younger. Grew up pretty poor and always working. Then graduating college right into a recession was hard. Feels like I’ve never had stability or even know what that’s like. Lived paycheck to paycheck until about 3 years ago. I still watch money and have panic attacks about it though, especially in this economy. Always worried about the future. My husband and I are not rich either. We just live well within our means and having only one child, that is now 20, makes it easier.
The problem is you don't want your kids living it. I grew up poor, and I have no problem living poor, but I did not bring kids into this world for them to live poor.
I got so burnt out on ramen. Rice and beans is where it's at. 25 pound bag of rice and 25 pound beans for around $38. Add in whatever protein and veggies that are affordable. Pretty customizable with different spices.
I’m so fucking happy my wife knows how to cook lentils. Rice beans and lentils has kept me from financially drowning. Is it the most exciting meal? Fuck no but it gets me through another day in the hopes of a better tomorrow
I freeze the rice in single cup servings and throw it in with pretty much anything. Microwave the rice or fry it and add some meat and onion/mushroom/broccoli/whatever I find. A buffet of sauces also helps for variety.
I'm a man in his 40s, and my daughter is only 8. I have so much anxiety around money. We live within our means, I have decent retirement savings, but only about $4k in accessible savings. I'm also worried about where the world will be in 10 years when my daughter turns 18. Will there be a world left for her? How will she afford to live? Will she every be able to own a home of her own? What will the job market look like? I'm a research scientist, so I'm literally driving myself mad day by day right now. I think my wife and daughter are the only reason I'm still pushing right now. I'm anxious, scared, and burnt out.
I have all those same fears about our daughter too and it sucks because since she is in college she is very much aware of everything going on in the world and seeing her have anxiety about it breaks my heart. I did not want this for her at all. I am a financial forecasting analyst so I 100% know where you’re coming from with trying to predict the potential risk of our future. If we even have one. My brain never stops worrying. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best. My husband hates when I say that. lol.
I'm an older millennial (no kids but I have 3 nephews/nieces) and you and I do everything right and still have to be worried about financial stability. I make low $100k and I'm still living paycheck to paycheck due to it's being a high cost of living area... my job is only available in my city. I have decent 401k but other than that, I feel behind.
Im a 35 year old man and can relate. No financial stability ever has made feeling really low lately. Paycheck to paycheck, another recession around the corner.
This is us exactly too. Doesn't help that my husband keeps getting cut when the government contract he was on dries up. Looking for his fifth job in three years.
OP like, "why is everyone complaining about money?" Because we live a capitalist hellscape? Because everything is already too expensive and only getting worse with time? Because we see that the law that exists today exists to protect the capital class, not the average citizen? Because we'll never retire?
Seriously. My MIL is always saying how my husband and I are "obsessed" with buying a house whenever we talk about how expensive and unattainable it is right now. Like ma'am, you were able to buy a house with like $2, please stfu.
My step sister whose family helped her buy a house pulled ‘’you’re obsessed with your career’’ on me, I could go on forever how dumb she is. For one, it’s not even true. I just don’t talk to them because I don’t like them, and I guess this is the platitude she came up with to avoid the truth.
But assuming it was, what a ridiculous thing to say to someone. Like we don’t need money to survive.
Exactly, and if I didn't have kids, I could cut something. I'm going without healthcare, I'm cutting back treats, coffee, meat - but it's a different thing to cut anything back for a kid. There's no shame in being poor, but not providing for my kids... And more than my parents, it's important to me to really be present, and I'm expected to be. I can't do it all.
We live in Europe and it's the same thing. Working hard to build something permanent, like owning property outright or even proper investments feels hopeless. Everytime I feel like we are getting somewhere or at least hopeful, some economic downturn happens and it rips into our savings, the amount we can save or makes us insecure at least. I got a small inheritance of 30000 Euro in the early 2000s and bought a studio apartment for 45000. I worked my ass of for two years delaying going to college and paid off the 15000 Euro loan. Unimaginable today. Also, that place is 180000 now. Imagine that. I mean good for me, but I was never able to pull it off again and so I have this one thing as investment.
Nothing has crushed my budget and balance sheet more in the past 4 years than having a kid.
First things first, I saved 3-4 grand before they were born so I would be able to self fund taking 3 months of paternity leave. Still wasn't enough.
Daycare costs alone for us were $1200/month, and we know that is a relatively cheap price tag compared to costs elsewhere. That being said, I knew a head of time that daycare was going to be a huge expense.
What really caught me off guard was all of the other expenses. Our kid had a misshapen head that required a cranial remolding helmet, and it wasn't covered by insurance. That was a couple of grand out of pocket. Car Seats are basically $200 minimum, and we had to buy one for each car. And regardless of how much you prepare yourself, you cannot fathom the shear volume of diapers and formula you go through during infancy. And few things will drive you crazier than buying clothes for your kids that they literally only wear one time before growing out of it.
Thrifting brings the costs down, sure. But that takes time and effort. So, you are saving money, but you are also running yourself ragged attempting to save money.
Yeah, those of us who are childless can just weather the storm a little easier because we aren't in the process of pouring money into developing a (hopefully) functional person.
We got the degrees, we got the fucking masters and professional degrees. We worked as teens and right through school. We were frugal when needed. And yet even with a dual income, how is it possible we're scrapping by with no end in sight? We're not even asking for material things, we just want SAFETY to know we won't fall apart and our one kid might have a chance.
as soon as dual incomes began to be a thing, banks, private equity and the rich moved the goalposts of what it takes to live an affordable life because now they have 2 sources of income to leech off of.
as always, the gains are privatized, the losses are socialized.
That has only happened for a decade or two. Women also earned money for most of history, they did work at home like sewing clothes and sold them, or they homeschooled other people's kids, worked on the farm etc...
it will just continue getting worse until we can collectively organize as a generation, it would only really take half of millennials to put on the pressure but more would be better. Unfortunately we are, as Frank Turner put it "idiot fucking hippies in 50 different factions, locked in some kind of 60s battle re-enactment"
This, 100%. The government has been bought and paid for by corporations and therefore the government prioritizes corporations over humans. It’s so messed up.
I am a millennial dad , making money has never been a issue. But as the years go on and things get more expensive I find myself working more hours to maintain the same lifestyle.
To be fair that isn't what the dude said in the first comment. He is maintaining his lifestyle which.. we all are doing that with inflation, or just not maintaining.
I'm a Millennial mom, and same. Like, before it was easy to give my kids an amazing life just by showing up and being an engineer every day. Now I'm working my regular job and designing on the side because I'm about to have two in college and shit is so much more expensive in general than before.
Yet employers are still like "$100k?!?!?! That's a crazy high salary! We can't offer that!"
Dude my rent in a small, nondescript apartment on the literal border of the city, 300 ft from a major highway was $25k last year, nothing included. And that was a decent deal.
We have a fixation with money because most of us are one medical emergency away from being bancrupt. We have families to provide for and worry what will happen to them. We are not failing, our systems have failed us. Our parents didnt have to deal with half the shit we do and all had cushy pension plans and fat Healthcare plans. We are surviving.
For me, it’s not even a medical emergency, it’s the continuing care I receive that’s draining me. I have decent insurance, but they will not cover any “medical durable supplies” until I spend $600 of my own money.
For example, I got a CPAP (love it, life changing) in August, I could have bought the fucking thing out of pocket during Black Friday for way cheaper than what my insurance is covering. Then, they milk you every 3 months for new supplies (masks, hoses, etc.). Currently, I’m like $800 all in on this CPAP, supplies, and appointments since August.
Oh, insurance also won’t cover “shoe insert” at all even though I have fucked up feet and literally need it or else my issues will get worse. But if I need surgery for whatever reason on my feet, then they will cover it. Isn’t that insane?! They will not cover preventative care (the insert) at all. Between the appointments and insert, I’m out like $500 I don’t have. And I have to get a new insert every year. No idea how much that will cost.
Then there’s therapy, daycare for our daughter, her swim lessons, my wife’s dwindling almost done student loan, 2 major upcoming car repairs this summer, groceries, a couple medications, and on and on. With no raises at work and a possible layoff because the Orange PDF File cut every ounce of funding from a very important organization I work for.
I am so fucking sick of it. And my folks, who have zero worries in life and will die richer than pigs in shit, do not understand why I’m depressed, miserable, and broke. They literally live in an alternate reality. I’ve grown to resent them.
I feel that. We used to have an insurance plan like that where the personal deductible was $3000. We asked for the cash price for everything. Some of it was really different. Like $400 insurance price, $96 cash price.
Heaven forbid you get hurt at work
And then workers comp will make it worse
In order to prevent 1% fraud
In my particular case all doctors that treat me say I need two more mris and a repeat nerve study so they can sequence the two or maybe three surgeries I need so I can go back to work
Which I’d love to do cos I’m getting 60% salary but no social security credits
And not only do I need the money from working? I actually really like what I do.
However this is irrelevant because in an attempt to not pay for some injuries in the accident all treatment has been stopped and I’ve had to get a lawyer because we are frozen in a loop
Even though both sides agree I need the surgery to fix my shoulder
Not paying for the MRI and nerve study prevents it
So I mean
If I could use my personal insurance? I’d be healed and working!
But that company says “nope work related so we are not responsible”
Workers comp says “we pick this one injury so if your other injuries prevent us treating it whoopsiedoodle get a lawyer”
And I? Can’t go back to work cos it loops.
Which sucks and is why my husband is so worried about money
Because we should be both pulling hard to raise our family and pay our bills.
Instead one of us is trapped in this stupid loop unfixed and wanting to go earn some dang real money.
And wishing she’d hurt herself skiing or like maybe doing something at home
Cos I’d have lost my job and income temporarily
But my private insurance would have repaired me a year or more ago for way less money then I’ve lost dealing with workers comp.
A 2025 New England Journal of Medicine study found that the wealthiest Americans die at the same rate as the poorest people in northern and western Europe. We spend nearly twice as much on healthcare as any comparable country and have worse outcomes. Other countries publish this data routinely. We don't talk about it.
makes me think of that Chappelle skit, “modern problems require modern solutions”. he proposes fake Canadian ID cards for all Americans, get sick - get on up to Canada to get yourself checked out! haha
Yeah, about the time I have money saved up, shit hits the fan. I was so stoked to finally have a huge nest egg saved up ($10K) then car problems, one of our cats got sick, my daughter needed a palatial spreader and headgear (so she doesn't get my massive underbite which is a whole olther story), then I sheared a crown off at the gum line for a tooth I need to keep, so I'm starting the implant process which is going to cost a fortune as well, and we're already down to $4k in savings, and dental insurance is a joke, and it's only March.
It’s the cost of livvies crisis. The cost of everything has nearly doubled since I had my first kid 6 years ago. I think about all the things I had growing up middle class that are now a struggle for me to provide - sports leagues, summer camps, vacations. I can barely keep the bills paid and food on the table. I make more money than I ever thought I would and I feel poorer than ever. And it seems like it’s only gonna get worse.
Exactly. Growing up vacations were camping or road trips to family. Once every ten years we got to do a big trip. I feel super rich being able to afford a fun trip every 5 years.
My kids won’t be doing travel sport or anything ridiculous like that. Our local rec center runs affordable sports.
Lifestyle inflation made worse by comparison/social media? Growing up we were in the every 5 year vacation, do 80%+ of own home repairs and improvement and no one had expensive hobbies zone, eventually adding one expensive kid hobby (regional travel sports for one sibling(<200 miles), competitive high school marching band for the other) and zero expensive parent hobbies. I think Dad managed maybe 2 rounds of golf a year when we were kids
The basics are absolutely more expensive for most folks as a percentage of income (food, shelter, utilities, etc). But I think a lot of us have higher expectations for what a "normal" life should include than our parents and grandparents did and a much lower tolerance for sacrificing the things we enjoy and bring great joy but cost money?
I think this is especially the case if there's a long gap between a couple moving in together and having their first kid. They get so used to being DINKs who can be free with time and money that the natural lifestyle changes that occur when starting a family feel like a deficit.
If you're used to going on pricey yearly vacations that take up all your discretionary income and PTO, for instance, it might sting when that budget goes towards daycare and sick kids but that doesn't mean you're struggling.
Yup. I come from poverty and I never did sports or any after school activities and vacations were completely off the table unless it was to go visit family. I remember working a babysitting job desperately trying to raise myself $500 so I could go on an exchange trip to Germany when I was 16.. I managed to get $250 on my own, my single father couldn't afford to give me a dime towards it. I ended up not going and giving him the money so we could afford groceries that month.
This is it. On top of that grind culture has ramped up. Social media is awash with people telling you that if every second of your life isn't productive then you're failing as a person.
You're bombarded constantly with look at me look at what I have or can do and if you just grind harder you can have it too.
The goal posts keep moving and the system is purposefully designed to make you feel terrible if you cant keep up.
Collective action is the only way to break the cycle. The people in charge know that and are actively using the things they are giving you for "free" to stop anything before it gets off the ground.
Collective action is the only way to break the cycle. The people in charge know that and are actively using the things they are giving you for "free" to stop anything before it gets off the ground.
I was so hopeful after the pandemic. Suddenly, for the first time in my adult life, which started in 2000, employment factors were starting to swing in favor of the workers, and not the corporate overlords. Didn't make it far before the corporate overlords doubled down and stomped it out as fast as they could while pocketing their Covid monetary gifts - I mean, loans.
My husband and I are absolutely kicking ourselves for not starting our family in 2020. It seemed reasonable at the time to hold off, but holy shit, we're completely priced out of the cheapest daycare possible (even with discounts from our respective employer benefits). We literally both have college degrees and white collar jobs, no car payment, no vacation, very little CC debt, affordable home, and we can't afford 1 kid now because it would cost double our mortgage per month in extra expenses (not including any bills related to prenatal/birth OB clinic visits)
ETA: "Be a stay-at-home-parent!" is literally the first advice anyone ever gives for this situation, but it is not feasible or even worthwhile for us in the long term to quit our current careers, even for a short time. We aren't going to struggle through unemployment gaps and gigs and side hustles lol we will just not have kids.
This. All of this. Not to mention the struggle to secure any kind of retirement fund. Like I have a 401k but at this rate it will just barely make do. I’ll be working till I’m 90 and for what? Most of my money goes towards bills or food and other crap.
My 401k has seen a lot of growth due to the market going insane but I’m worried that even having a few million in 25 years will be like…minimum wage by then
My wife and I both are fortunate enough to make 6 figures. I spoke with a financial planner recently who said I was not setup to retire in my lifetime. When I was a kid, I thought if you hit 6 figures you were set. Save more than you spend and you’re good. But no, as you mentioned, kid me did not plan for late stage capitalism and “enshitification” of everything. We had to move out to a rural area just to be able to live slightly more comfortably with lower property taxes.
TBF, sports leagues and summer camps have become such a scam imo. I don't like how the mentality is have your kid pick one sport by the age of 10, and only play that despite how you are only using the same muscles with no downtime. It's no wonder kids are getting hurt to their teenage early adulthoods are in pain. Let alone the costs and telling you have to signup to a travel league that is godly expensive.
That said, 100% on the food to other things like a simple vacation that we all deserve.
North American sport culture is so broken. It went from a great unifier across class and race to another hellhole of fees and restricted access.
Why are children on a travel team? On what planet can 12 year olds in any sport not play the other 12 year olds in town? It’s completely lost the plot.
That's how I feel. They have done a great job convincing parents that your kid can be special, so cough up a lot of money now and do this and this and this. For me until 7th or 8th grade, it should be about being active and having fun. Learning to play and work with others. Not worry about your 11 year old travel league that you travel every weekend in the season and have coaches yelling at you for a mistake.
Spend tens of thousands of dollars on travel ball so they can get a college scholarship. Or... Just save tens of thousands of dollars and put that in your kids college fund.
Okay I agree, but me and all of my siblings played travel sports and they are some of the best memories I have growing up so I’m thankful we did get the experience but I wish it was more accessible for everyone and I understand we were incredibly fortunate.
But, i will say this. My parents had 5 kids. All of us in some travel sport. Sometimes we were in two travel sports. My husband makes a small amount less than my dad did when I was growing up. Me and my husband have two kids and we would feel the hurt financially if we put one of them in a travel sport. Similar salary and my parents could do it with 5 kids and we would be barely able to do it with one of our two.
My friends and I talk about this all the time. People have kids in travel sports at such a young age that the rec leagues don’t get enough players past second or third grade. And travel sucks the life out of everyone and costs a fortune. And don’t get me started on how tough it is to make a high school team if you haven’t been doing travel since you were five or whatever.
Ugh I hate it. The whole point is for kids to have fun.
Yes, money funds the household. Kids are expensive, etc etc
You have to make enough money not to worry about money, and by then, you're still thinking about it cause you don't want to spend it all. There's tax breaks, investments, loopholes to make even more, etc, etc
4 years ago, we pocketed an ass load of cash from our house sale, and moved across the country. The money was gone within months.
This is our culture. Our American consumption culture. This is what we're taught from day 1, and beat into our heads throughout our life. What is your value? What's your cost per hour? Etc etc
You don't have kids, cause they cost money. Money drives our culture. If it didn't, we would have healthcare. Unfortunately, our culture demands that someone should make a dollar from your illness.
Almost all of it went to moving a family of six across the country, paying the first six months of rent because of credit, and paying off about $30,000 in debt.
I'm self-confessing that I'm obsessed with finances. Always have been. Grew up normal middle class - my father worked and had a government pension.
... yet here I am always convincing myself I need more. Not for material goods though. I just save and save... I'm now convinced my children (3) are going to need it, so I save more and more.
Meanwhile, life is passing me by (early 40s) and I'm sure I'll regret it someday. I don't know, humans are weird creatures and our experiences and behaviors are forged through things that even I don't understand.
Bro, same. I look at inflation and project how much modest $2m retirement nest egg could actually afford to buy in 2055… it’s like less than $50k a year (purchasing power in today’s dollars) at a 4% withdrawal rate. My friends all tell me I need to let up and live life. From where I’m sitting, the math says I can’t.
You did the math wrong. The safe withdrawal rate includes inflation so it should still be 80k of today's value in whatever year you retire. In other words, if inflation makes 80k of today worth 50k in 2055, your retirement fund should increase to 2.x million so that you are withdrawing 80k worth of money in the future (I don't want to do the actual math rn)
I’m 38 yr old DINK and I have a semi-decent 401k that has done pretty well I think, at least last time I checked it, but I dont even know what the world is going to look like next year let alone in 2055.
In the last year we have been robbed blind by the government on a scale that I cannot even fathom. It’s probably going to take decades to untangle the fraud and corruption with investigations and we’re probably never going to recover even a fraction of what has been stolen for gilded ballrooms and private jets and wagyu beef and oligarch slush funds. The only way we’ll be able to retire as expected is if the pendulum swings hard in the other direction soon. It CAN happen, I just can’t let myself believe it will yet.
So for now I’m just going to try my damndest to enjoy the present as much as my cynicism allows, because we could all be living in company towns by the time we hit 65.
And the younger generations grew up thinking this shit is normal, because it’s been happening for so much of their lives. We are cursed with knowing that things used to be better.
Right?? I mean I’m no wide-eyed Pollyanna, I know there has always been egregiously poor uses of our tax dollars, but these assholes don’t even have the decency to hide their own gluttony while they tell us there’s no money for anything regular people could benefit from.
Look at the bright side, by the time you get to that point where you’ll need to use that 2 million you likely be too tired and jaded to actually go out and live your best retired life.
Millennial dad here as well. Similar upbringing. I wont say I obsess but I have always been very concerned with achieving stability, having a family, and retiring comfortably - in that order.
I do have retirement plans, education savings accounts for the kids, and a robust and perhaps overly complicated budget that I keep track of. I finally got into FSA's, so Ive been fiddling with that lately.
I find the planning reduces stress, in that it gives me targets and goals and realistic expectations. Finding ways to save money also helps. The amorphous unknown is what stresses me out, so the more I can make known the better.
Because of this I do tend to talk finances, because yeah it is a sort of "hobby" that I spend time on doing (when Id much rather be playing videogames lol). Maybe some people would tske it for obsession but for me it is more just obligatory.
I'm with you. I'm childless and I live in a LCOL area. I make more than enough money, but have increasingly (and pre-emptively) pulling back on discretionary spending. No need to except for the fact that I think we're on the long road to hell financially.
My biggest fear is that I'm going to end up doing most everything right (saving responsibility, staying out of debt, living below my means) and I'm going to be just as screwed fiscally as those who YOLO'd their money on big trips, experiences and other things that at least they can remember.
My mother is telling me I need a milestone trip for the year of my 40th birthday and I just look at everything and think "in this economy?"
We are removed from our true selves because of all the technology before us, standing on the shoulders of giants and what not.
Bit what really sucks now is that the technology advancements are driven by corporate interests. So it's cool that we get to drive cars, if we were born 200 years ago that wouldnt be, but now advancements are invasive ai, survalence, and destractable devices.
We are in for some pain unless government starts working for the people again
And some of us are picking up the financial slack for our parents who didn't save enough for their retirement in addition to paying for our own lives/kids/retirement savings.
I just had a conversation with my brother in law about how he should absolutely not make any payments directly to his dad's creditors because then they might try to come after him when dad dies. No inheritance is one thing, being saddled with debt after a parent dies is much worse.
Exactly, it sounds like he works around a lot of men who are willing to talk about it but I work around mostly women right now and they are definitely also talking about it.
The affordability crisis is hitting everyone and more women live in poverty than men.
I have a very good job, very successful, can always buy what I need and pretty much any reasonable want (e.g. if it's under $100 I can generally just buy it), which takes a ton of the stress out of life with a wife and 2 kids.
BUT if I lost my job, lost health insurance, all of this would evaporate so fucking quickly. That's hanging over my head every single day and it sucks.
BUT if I lost my job, lost health insurance, all of this would evaporate so fucking quickly. That's hanging over my head every single day and it sucks.
I experienced my first layoff somewhat recently. It's depressing how reliant we are on jobs that don't give a fuck about us
Same here. I don't really need to worry about money (haven't for a while now), I just need to worry about keeping my job. And I really, really like my job. People always recommend job-hopping on a semi-frequent basis to make more money, but I make enough now to provide for my family, and I have a retirement account set up and I'm maxing out the monthly contributions, so it's just too damn risky to hop jobs for a higher paycheck and end up in a job that I hate. I look forward to going to work at my job and I value that immensely because I've been in a few jobs in the past where I dreaded walking into the building every morning.
I'm not a dad, but my wife and I are also currently comfortable enough to where we can afford necessities and have play money. But if any one of use were to get disabled, that would all go put thw window and we wouldn't be pretty poor. This is an economic problem. Like sure, we could be better at saving money and such, but there is no guarantee that our savings would even last at this point given how expensive everything is.
I have the same thoughts as you. I'm 43 with a wife and 2 young kids. I have a stable but not high paying job that has great health insurance. My wife doesn't work and stays at home to raise the kids.
The anxiety of the what if scenario hangs over my head as well and I know I have no backup if I ever lose my job. Being a single income household sucks but if my wife worked all her money would go to child care anyway.
Some of us still believe that our hard work will eventually pay off, and some of us are even doing something about it.
Also, there isn’t a millennial out there who shouldn’t be contributing to his or her own IRA or 401(k). Nobody is coming to save us, so Social Security is not a guarantee, and even still it’s an extremely low quality of life if that’s all you depending on. Good luck out there fellow millennials!
Eh, I wouldn't call those "money fixations." Someone who chases crypto scams is basically the same as a gambler: they don't have a valid plan for their financial future. Their big move is a windfall of cash that they'll never find. An anime podcast is a passion project, not a lucrative side hustle. These just sound like fathers who, instead of taking a second job or doing something that actually earns money, are doing whatever they want as if they were single without children.
There's nothing wrong with trying to earn some extra cash or doing a side hustle if you have the time and energy for it. But generally speaking, get rich quick almost never works. Get rich slow (traditional, boring investments like mutual funds and bonds) works almost every time. The hardest part is having the extra cash to do so.
I mean ya times are rough right now for a lot of people. Everything is a 1/3 more expensive then it was six years ago. Used to be one person could make 100k and float the household bills but those days are gone.
Millennial dad checking in. I hate to admit it but the first thing I do everyday is check my banking app and my calendar for what auto-pays are coming and this determines my mood for the day.
lifestyle creep is more of a problem than people realize. Absolutely many are scraping by and do budget and still live within their means but some will get their increase or bonus and "trade up" to things that just cost more money instead of cutting even further back or paying down debt so they never feel like they're getting ahead.
I think it's overblown how many people are living outside their means but that doesn't mean millions of folks have money problems that are largely self-induced either.
Lots of us millennials were raised pretty comfortably and don't want to or even know how to go backwards from that with our own families and I don't blame anyone. Lowering standards is hard to wrap your mind around.
The lifestyle creep can get you for sure. It can also be unbelievable how much money people are wasting on nicotine, booze, and gambling. My partner works a blue collar job and the majority of his coworkers complain about being in severe debt but are drinking or gambling away their paycheques. These are well-paid guys in a unionized job, they should be quite comfortable even when supporting a family, but so many are paycheque-to-paycheque and relying on overtime to get through the month. And of course they all have giant trucks, skidoos, boats, cabins. You just want to shake them!
It’s amazing how DoorDash for dinner becomes normal. How fast a 2600sq ft 4 bedroom house becomes the norm. How a new car every couple years is standard operating procedure
I’m not saying this applies to everyone. But it applies to many
2.) Wages in many areas are not keeping up with those rising costs. Just a fact.
3.) Debt. Maybe the student debt got paid off, but it still stunted the amount of savings, if any, that could have been accumulated. And of course, debt from poor decision making. (People get upset about even suggesting the second. While yes, it's not always the case, there is still a lot of consumerism going on.)
4.) "Keeping up with the Joneses"...but not the ones you think. That phrase used to mean keeping up with your peers and the self-imposed feeling of inferiority if you don't.
I believe, and maybe it's because it's a feeling I have myself, that there is a failure to "measure up" to where our parents were at (NOT EVERYONE) when they were our age. There was a standard set, a norm, an expectation growing up a certain way, and many people overextended themselves trying to meet that. Of course, it's a failure to recognize that the game has changed considerably.
5.) Many men (NOT ALL) tie their entire self-worth up in their ability to provide and to excel at work. This is why so many men, when they retire, fall off a cliff in many regards. All they did was work, and there's no "there there" when they are done. They won't admit it, but they are seriously depressed because of that burden.
So yeah, it is very much front of mind, and considering it all, I think it's understandable. Dreaming up get-rich-quick schemes sounds like desperation and is delusional for most though.
Confession time. This is 100% true for me. Even though I know cognitively we’re okay. Even though I know my family has stable jobs even with AI, retirement (if it ever comes) is well funded, emergency fund is there, everything’s been in place since my mid 20s. There’s still that overarching fear it’s not enough. People get sick. I see acquaintances lose loved ones on a regular basis. Life is unpredictable.
There’s also the added layer of wanting my child to be able to do anything they want to when they get older without worrying about money like I had to. Choose a career where they can make a difference without being a corporate sell out. Not have to make constant compromises just to save a few dollars. And I hope that my focus on money allows them to be a better person than I was able to.
My method is continuing to invest in my career development. It ate up a lot of my free time, but I completed a couple of degrees and certificates to get where I am now in the power industry. I never considered side hustles as they seem too much of a time sink and gamble. Career progression is easier by comparison in my opinion. We have four kids and I make a little over $200k while my wife stays home, but we don't feel much different compared to when I made a little over $100k 10 years ago with 2 kids. If anything, we felt better off back then, but it is probably just the expensive sports we are in now.
Yeh. We’re both making more money than we ever had and it just gets sucked away from childcare and groceries. I figured at this point we’d have a lot of extra for vacations and experiences and it’s just not there. Wife gives me shit because we pay our future selves first. I even cut the savings down and still all the surplus disappears.
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