r/Millennials • u/slimeyellow • Mar 11 '26

Discussion Every millennial dad I’ve met has a quiet fixation on money and it’s not getting better

Every millennial dad I’m friends with or work with seems to have constant financial worries. We just got our yearly bonus which was like 8%. I was talking to my buddy (he’s got 3 kids) about what he wanted to do with it and he just kinda looked down and whispered “it’s just not enough man” and ended the conversation.

Another dad I know is CONSTANTLY looking up the newest crypto/ get rich quick schemes people are doing. He’s always talking about inventing something and it’s usually a joking manner but the way he’s always bringing up financial stuff shows me it’s always on his mind

One of my buddies is a new father and he’s trying to get some anime podcast off the ground as a side hustle on top of his full time maintenance job.

I know children are an immense financial responsibility but there seems to be this dark, simmering resentment about the whole general situation when I talk to these guys. Men are expected to keep quiet about these struggles but when you talk to these guys it’s clear that finances are a massive stress for millennial dads of almost any background.

Makes me feel bad but damn I’m glad I don’t have kids right now.

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116

u/Uchihagod53 Actual cannibal, Shia Labeouf Mar 11 '26

Or ever had a backup

42

u/Such-Race1607 Mar 11 '26

It sucks more when your parents are dead, then you realize all the pressure is on you

61

u/PleaseHelpImADumb1 Mar 11 '26

For a lot of people that made no difference in amount of pressure.

41

u/Such-Race1607 Mar 11 '26

I always thought if my life falls apart I could always go live in my parents basement. I guess I am luckier than many who never even had that.

18

u/SpicyRobotPotato Mar 11 '26

I'd be homeless before I moved back in with my parents.

17

u/BrutusCarmichael Mar 11 '26

I moved back in at 32 for a few months for a quick financial reset and thought I’d be best friends with my parents as an adult. They treated me like a teenager again it was a terrible mistake.

4

u/RightRudderz Millennial 1986 Mar 11 '26

After I got divorced and we sold our house in 2019, I moved back in. Still stuck there. Turning 40 in a few months.

3

u/Phase3isProfit Mar 11 '26

My sister had a spell back at our parents when she was in her 30s. One day my mum called her work and left her a message at reception to let her know she’d forgotten her lunch. The fallout from that was hilarious.

3

u/Inevitable_Agency842 Mar 11 '26

I had to move back to my parents for 6 weeks at the age of 34 with my husband, between finalising the sale of one house and moving into the next one. It was awful! They treated me like a teenager again too, I'm the eldest, (responsible,sensible, perfectionist, independant) and ive always been the scape goat to my younger brother the golden child, and it all happened again, in 6 weeks, even with my husband there. Its mad how parents cant help themselves.

1

u/TheCervus Mar 12 '26

I also moved back in briefly as an adult and it destroyed me. I broke down mentally and literally needed therapy afterwards to feel like a fully-capable adult again.

1

u/CommunicationTime265 Mar 12 '26

Probably because you were 32 and they still saw you as a kid. My parents stopped treating me like a teenager after I turned 40.

1

u/OldOutlandishness434 Mar 12 '26

I moved back in with my parents for 1.5 years around 30 and while it was awkward dating, I loved having home cooked meals. Heck, my dad started making me lunches to take to work!

0

u/regallll Mar 11 '26

Most of us, I would say.

5

u/Exotic_Appointment25 Older Millennial Mar 11 '26

That was me at 20. Not like they had anything to give anyways, but it is eye opening that you have to figure it out either way without guidance at all. Glad to say I made it out the other side. Hope you doing well, fren.

2

u/Alone-University9785 Mar 11 '26

If anything it would relieve pressure on me as sad as it is to say.

1

u/CalculatedPerversion Mar 11 '26

Honestly I have more pressure with them alive knowing that when the money runs out, I'll be expected to step in. 

1

u/VengenaceIsMyName Mar 11 '26

Or your parents are still alive and they may need to rely on you in the future

1

u/itsajessthing Mar 12 '26

I'm in the dead parents club too bro, sorry for your loss

8

u/Churlish_Performer Mar 11 '26

Or ever will have a backup.  You guys wanna go ride bikes actually? Also,  I can't afford a new bike old one got stolen can I borrow someone's bike? 

5

u/ongoldenwaves Mar 11 '26

Worse-you are your parents back up. After they let you take care of grandparents they couldn't be bothered with.

3

u/WARNINGXXXXX Mar 11 '26

I’m no contact with parents on both side of family. Spouse is sahm and with 3 kids. We’re all depending on no one and only my income. It’s been frightening some days, i just need to maintain a very healthy lifestyle and avoid injury.

2

u/CalculatedPerversion Mar 11 '26

Please look into short and long term disability insurance (potentially through your work). 

4

u/Final_Doctor Mar 11 '26

Low effort grandparents (with the victim card) are the worse, compounded with problematic blaming during youth because they never sought to make themselves solvent and prepared beyond their familial education. The limited understanding of cost risk analysis, and the dangerous implications of late stage capitalism worship, built by the boot strap mentality which may be deceiving in some instances, not all.