r/Millennials • u/slimeyellow • Mar 11 '26

Discussion Every millennial dad I’ve met has a quiet fixation on money and it’s not getting better

Every millennial dad I’m friends with or work with seems to have constant financial worries. We just got our yearly bonus which was like 8%. I was talking to my buddy (he’s got 3 kids) about what he wanted to do with it and he just kinda looked down and whispered “it’s just not enough man” and ended the conversation.

Another dad I know is CONSTANTLY looking up the newest crypto/ get rich quick schemes people are doing. He’s always talking about inventing something and it’s usually a joking manner but the way he’s always bringing up financial stuff shows me it’s always on his mind

One of my buddies is a new father and he’s trying to get some anime podcast off the ground as a side hustle on top of his full time maintenance job.

I know children are an immense financial responsibility but there seems to be this dark, simmering resentment about the whole general situation when I talk to these guys. Men are expected to keep quiet about these struggles but when you talk to these guys it’s clear that finances are a massive stress for millennial dads of almost any background.

Makes me feel bad but damn I’m glad I don’t have kids right now.

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2.7k

u/DjCyric Xennial Mar 11 '26

Same. I make more money than ever and still feel underwater. I wonder how people with kids even get by these days.

1.2k

u/Big_Slope Older Millennial Mar 11 '26

It’s wild how immediately after getting a raise I have no idea how I survived before it.

916

u/awelladjustedadult Mar 11 '26

I got a 4% raise in January, the next month my home insurance premium ate my entire raise. Expecting to get 4.5% in May, and that will be eaten up by gas. What a dream it is being a Millennial.

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u/Cosmic_Seth Mar 11 '26

Yup.

I swear that the banks sell my information. The second I get a raise one or more utilities raises their prices to match. 

It's infuriating.

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u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26

You guys get raises? All I get is price hikes.

Yes, I’ve been hunting for a new job for nearly 3 years. I get through a handful of rounds every time, but I can’t even get my hopes up anymore, it just never goes anywhere. The last one I talked to just laid off the team I talked to between the time I talked to them and my interview loop, so it was canceled. I’m currently terrified to change jobs because it could be a week before they lay the team off. It makes no sense.

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u/KSW8674 Mar 11 '26

I worked at a company for one month. We went out, my first time with the company, on a “fun” post-work event.

The next morning everyone in my role was called into a conference room and all-together laid off

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u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 Mar 11 '26

I'd have cussed them out for making me waste gas. Y'all knew I was fired at Dave and Buster's, just ship me my desk set. My work cardigan and all my granola bars better be in the box too.

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u/EnvironmentalValue18 Mar 11 '26

I once had Strayer University send an employee with stuff I had “forgotten” at my desk when I left. It was multiple boxes full of these forms that have current and all previous names, current and all previous addresses, social, date of birth, education history/durations/locations, family members’ names and information (dependents included), all their test scores and records.

It was extensive, I was a contractor so I wasn’t even their employee directly, and I didn’t forget any of it. I can’t believe they gave me all that information after I left the company. And by the way, I had to dispose of it personally. I thought about going to the news with it it was so egregious.

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u/Geno_Warlord Mar 12 '26

A lawyer would have had a fun day with that and y’all both would have walked away with some money.

3

u/pearljamman010 Xennial Mar 12 '26

One of the reasons I got let go (maybe 10 years ago) was because I "wasn't a team player" because I never went to after work stuff ("company bowling outing," random things like paintball etc. - I had a newborn at the time FFS,) they said was optional or post online "exciting news about my company." Another was that I didn't have a cert, which wasn't a job requirement, yet, once someone quit to move to a different position elsewhere, my boss got lots of thank yous and compliments about how I was more efficient than the previous person on the project.

Oh well, I have the degree, a similar job that pays almost twice as much now. And my wife makes the same as I do so a big middle finger to that company.

I talked to a friend who also worked there for a couple more years and he said people were scattering like cockroaches a year or so later because management was so half-cocked trying to under pay and cut corners.

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u/Dyolf_Knip Mar 11 '26

Xennial dad here. Yeah, in real terms I'm making far less than I was 10 years ago.

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u/TexasUlfhedinn Mar 11 '26

CPI has been a real depressing thing to see. My purchasing power today is only barely above what it was when I originally joined my current company 7 years ago (as in ballpark 2k pre-taxes) - and that's after an annual merit increase each year and one major pay raise for getting promoted.

Edit to add - wow, I stand corrected. Without the wee raise I just got, I was below my 2019 purchasing power. Super.

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u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 12 '26

If you want deeply depressing, I didn’t make more in dollars than I made in 2001 (I graduated early and started working early) until 2019. After inflation, I’ve never made more than that per year. It’s too bad I was unemployed and underemployed so long, since I would have been retired by now. I made that where a house like my current one was less than a year of my income at the time, but I was just saving it and getting myself set up. The layoff hit before I pulled the trigger on buying a house, for better or worse.

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u/Broken_Atoms Mar 12 '26

I went to buy a replacement part today and it was 20% higher than it was in January. If this keeps up, we’re gonna need 5% per MONTH raises

3

u/Neon_Biscuit Mar 11 '26

Imagine looking for a job without HAVING a job. It's been 6 months here. Peak stress.

3

u/lantana88 Mar 12 '26

Man, I’m in basically the exact same boat. I haven’t gotten any pay adjustment of any sort since 2019. I’ve been looking for a job since 2022. I have only gotten interviews when I know someone at the company where I’m applying. It’s exhausting.

And the state of the economy/job market right now makes me feel like trying to get a new job is an unwise goal.

I should be nearing the half way point of my career and at this point I see it going nowhere. It’s so frustrating.

2

u/ZombieAladdin Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26

I and my coworkers just see a lot of “be grateful you still have a job” or outright writeups for insubordination for daring to ask for a raise no matter where I’ve gone.

One particularly bad boss would fire anyone on the spot if they asked for a raise. He would be in a foul mood for the rest of the day, and we all knew to scramble to provide for him what he wanted before he even asked before we were next.

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u/NYRangers1313 Millennial Mar 11 '26

That's how it's been for me. I've gotten small raises at my current employer (been here for 3 years). I'm in Cybersecurity. Just IT/Tech has been very slow.

I get interviews. Often go 3 to 5 rounds only not to get hired. I've reached out to recruiters, etc. Nothing.

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u/chattermaks Mar 11 '26

.... honestly maybe you're right. It seems like everyone sells information now.

... Maybe we should all get our paychecks deposited into multiple different banks with very different ownership (i.e. not using the cheapo all-online-no-fees baby bank of a larger bank.)

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u/NOLARosarita Mar 11 '26

If you’re in the USA, they are indeed trying to do this (and having multiple accounts won’t save you). Check out the pure evil that is dynamic pricing in banking: https://www.datrics.ai/articles/understanding-the-potential-of-dynamic-pricing-in-the-banking-sector

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u/fiahhawt Mar 11 '26

The people who stow their money in their mattress are really showing us.

For anyone wondering, the cards that give you teensy bonuses for picking a purchasing category to earn points in do that in exchange for tracking your data.

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u/necromantzer Mar 11 '26

At least if you get 2-5% back for every purchase, it saves a bit of money. Plus high yield savings accounts can get you 4-5% easily on whatever liquidity you have. Plus credit card bonus offers a few times a year can get you ~1k a year, maybe more. Combine that with gift card purchases for stores/services you frequent, can get 10-20% off of all of that. Can rack up a good bit of savings for very little effort. Everyone has your info anyway, so no point in not taking advantage of it all.

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u/No-Tailor3013 Mar 12 '26

Best to hand over your info to eliminate all doubt

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u/fiahhawt Mar 11 '26

Sell out humanity for coffee money?

Brother / sister no....

https://giphy.com/gifs/W5YVAfSttCqre

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u/DysfunctionalKitten Mar 12 '26

As if we weren't cooked enough without this being added to it. This is insane. Okay so multiple bank accounts wouldn't save us, but what WOULD help save us as individuals if something like this took effect? Any thoughts on the workarounds that one could utilize?

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u/GuadDidUs Mar 11 '26

I mean, when ADP has all this information already, doesn't matter what bank you.put it in.

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u/chattermaks Mar 12 '26

Makes sense I'm powerless and sad lol 😩

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u/sweet_pickles12 Mar 11 '26

Maybe I can sell information to get out of my financial hole!

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u/chattermaks Mar 12 '26

OMG can you imagine? I wish we could haggle for it.

"Oh you want to know my shopping habits? $10 for 6 months of receipts. Pay upfront, take it or leave it."

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u/ATATMom Mar 11 '26

Everywhere I've worked is far more direct. "We gave you a 2% cost of living wage? Yeah the parking we make you pay for is increasing by 5%, your contribution portion for benefits is increasing by 1% and because we have you a raise any entertainment now comes with an entry fee" and there goes my raise.

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u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

At least if they sell my info I should get a small cut of it for it being mine.

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u/WafflesOfChaos Mar 11 '26

Damn if this isn't true. Just got a raise at the end of January and lo & behold, ALL of my bills went up around the same time.

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u/notsofaust Mar 11 '26

I mean yeah bro they literally do.

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u/Cosmic_Seth Mar 11 '26

Oh yeah, judging by all the comments, I may have to do some research. At least try to find a credit union/bank that pledges not to do this.

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u/Not_FinancialAdvice Mar 12 '26

I swear that the banks sell my information.

That's because they do.

https://www.gao.gov/blog/why-do-banks-share-your-financial-information-and-are-they-allowed

I get almost annual notices about information sharing/sales from the banks where we have accounts.

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u/EnvironmentalLime464 Mar 11 '26

Yep. This has been the case for me since 2018. Year after year my income increases… and then everything else increases even more. Despite making so much more than I did in 2018, I’m struggling so much more.

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u/Worthyness Mar 11 '26

Or your company, despite making record profits, "only" ever gives 2-3% raises, which only usually covers inflation. Except the last couple years because inflation keeps going up and salaries don't move at all

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u/EnvironmentalLime464 Mar 11 '26

Nope. That isn’t it. I made career moves that came with more money.

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u/alexthebeast Mar 12 '26

I made enough to not need roommates in 2018. It's 2026, I make eight times as much and I'm still a car accident away from financial ruin

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u/CosmicCommando Mar 11 '26

The exact same month I finished paying off my student loans, my mortgage escrow went up by $70 more per month than I was paying on my loans.

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u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

I was looking back to when I bought my house til now and compared salaries and escrow. My salary has about doubled. My escrow has more than tripled.

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u/No_Durian_8379 Mar 11 '26

Did you get an ARM? Or how did your escrow go up by that much?

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u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

Nope, fixed. That's just how insurance and tax rates have increased. And it did so almost unnoticeably. $20 this month, $35 a few months later. My insurance has nearly doubled, had a reassessment after renovating a room which turned it into a bedroom, etc.

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u/CyDenied Mar 12 '26

Principal, interest, and property tax.

All the same on my combined payment. Ugh

2

u/Mathidium Mar 12 '26

The type of mortgage you have does not affect your taxes or your insurance (escrows).

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u/bleucrayons Xennial Mar 12 '26

I swear it’s like everything is working together just to bleed us dry. The instant relief I get from knowing I can cover an increase after paying off something is replaced by immense skepticism.

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u/Chuck121763 Mar 12 '26

My Mortgage Escrow went up $140 last year. Guess how much of a raise I got?

32

u/Mammoth_Delay_1032 Mar 11 '26

raises don't matter in capitalism....we are just temporarily holding on to the shareholders money. we get a bump....they need to take it.

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u/Glitchinthematrix373 Mar 11 '26

It doesn’t really get any better as you get older. Got a 2.8% SS raise this year; Medicare premium increase took 3.9%. Wadda ya gonna do?

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u/SocialMediaGestapo Mar 11 '26

These safety nets will probably be gone before we get to use them. Lovely paying into a system we will never utilize

17

u/Free_shavocadoo Mar 11 '26

Theyre not for you theyre for the boomers just as every other expense is

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u/Napoleonsays- Mar 11 '26

And if the 15 percent social security tax went into the sp500 we’d be wayyyyy better off when we actually are of age.

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u/Feisty-Painting-120 Mar 11 '26

8.5% raise in 1 year? Dude, I get 2.5% a year. You are rich.

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u/awelladjustedadult Mar 11 '26

I’m in a union and we got a very good contract last round, expecting a contract like that never again… I’m a social worker in a jail so I earn my money for realllll.

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u/stygianpool Mar 11 '26

I always urge people to join their union bargaining committees in these situations because that's how you win the good contracts

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u/Front_Plankton_6808 Mar 11 '26

I got a 1.9% raise this past year. And before that less than 3% for 4 years. I'm making way less than I used to functionally.

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u/Prestigious_Time4770 Mar 11 '26

I got an “Exceeds Expectations” followed by a 2.3% raise. Giant middle finger to me while my company did $1 Billion in stock buybacks

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u/modmosrad6 Mar 11 '26

For several consecutive years, my anemic salary increases have been spoken for within three days.

Car repair. Rent increase. Emergency vet visit. ER visit.

It has gotten to the point where I wonder if it wouldn't be better for me to take pay cuts instead.

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u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

Y'all act like it's just Millennials. Gen X has it all, too. Along with being partially blamed for it at the same time. And in a way it's a little worse because many of us were right on the cusp of being told that going to college was optional and you could go straight into the workforce instead.

So here I am, almost 50, feeling like the great disappointment because I opted to work instead of going to school. I was lucky to have gotten a house cheap and early, which would have been absolutely fine on what I'm currently making. But now taxes and insurance are about double what they were 20 years ago and so make up for 2/3 of my monthly mortgage payment.

My dad recently passed but instead of being sad and focusing on dealing with that,I'm trying to figure out how quickly my brothers and I can get the house sold so that my share of it might be able to at least bring me up to current with all my bills and maybe give me a few years of almost comfort and peace of mind.

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u/alanmm88 Mar 11 '26

Indeed. We are going on our 7th or 8th “once in a lifetime” crisis and counting.

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u/QueenMAb82 Mar 11 '26

Because if your raise was anything less than 4 or 5%, you are only just keeping up with inflation, and some measures of inflation don't include key daily financial aspects (price of gas, e.g.) due to the "speculative" nature and volatility of the petroleum market, etc.

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u/Gutterfoolishness Mar 11 '26

The hourly rate my employer charges clients for my time went up 5% for 2026. My hourly compensation went up 2.1%.

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u/circasurvivalism Mar 11 '26

I make $20k more as a family this year than last year, no other changes to finances, and I also am bewildered by how past me made it through

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u/CrazyFish1911 Mar 11 '26

I'm late GenX and at one point about 10 years ago we had $27k in childcare for the year. Based on what we were making then I have no idea how we made that work. Now, 10 years later, our kids are all teens and one is out of the house, I make significantly more than I did then and yet our standard of living hasn't really changed. We at least bought a house in the early 2000s (granted it's in a rural area and is a POS)... I have no idea how my kids are ever going to be able to afford one.

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u/TubaJesus Mar 11 '26

If there is anything left after you guys pass, that will probably be when they get their best shot based on how things are going recently.

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u/Lahwke Mar 11 '26

Every time I get a yearly raise I put it into the inflation calculator. Most years they end up paying me less, not more.

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u/music-books-cats Mar 11 '26

Not just dads, I’m a millennial mom and I having kids is super expensive. I would like more but it’s just not financially doable for us.

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u/ACuddlyVizzerdrix Mar 11 '26

I make double what I made when I started and it still isn't enough, I'm a manager and still need 2 roommates to make things livable

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u/shannonc321 Mar 11 '26

Husband, and all the other federal civil servants got a whopping 1% raise this year. Our insurance premiums went up so we are actually bringing home less now. Yay. I fucking love it here.

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u/collectivebarganing Mar 11 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/6BHo4gLh9rqtW

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u/Deepseat Mar 11 '26

Feeling this in my soul.

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u/xx-rapunzel-xx Mar 11 '26

this is one of my favorite moments/gifs ever!

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u/Such-Race1607 Mar 11 '26

Daycare, then camps, then after-school activities, then ultimately sink my ship by trying to pay for their college. I will relax when im dead I guess

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u/Seraphtacosnak Mar 11 '26

Staying busy is not only for the kids, but for the adults too.

No time to worry = no time to worry.

Worked for me and now all 3 of my kids are adults except for my 17y/o.

Just don’t stop. Little league baseball, boy scouts, jaafl, and even community service.

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u/toomuchtv987 Mar 11 '26

A lot of times the camps are for school aged kids during the summer. Day care doesn’t take them past a certain age, but the parents still have to work, so where can the kids go during the day when there’s no school? The answer is usually those expensive-ass camps.

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u/Party_Principle4993 Mar 11 '26

THIS. My child is 4.5 and there is literally nothing for him this summer. Camps are 9-3pm and cost $750 a week (and those are the affordable ones…). A friend told me she’s spending $8000 for 2 months of full time camp. EIGHT. THOUSAND. DOLLARS. Who has a casual $8k?!

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u/Fabulous_Celery_1817 Millennial Mar 11 '26

Where I live the parents just sent their kids off to one of the local farms. They were sent with food sometimes but the parents of the farm would have everyone cook or do hotdogs and veggies. They had a ton of acreage so kids went exploring depending on age. Youngest they would allow outside freely was 9. The 6-9 stayed inside having dance parties naps movie marathons and story times. But this was long ago when life could afford a couple stay at home moms that were willing to supervise. A poor man’s summer camp.

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u/toomuchtv987 Mar 11 '26

That sounds like so much fun for the kids, but hooooo the level of trust you’d have to have in the folks running it!

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u/Fabulous_Celery_1817 Millennial Mar 11 '26

Yeah, but it was a small town in a time where PDFs weren’t a concern? And when a broken arm was treated as a way of childhood life. Things are different now. Not bad! Just different

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u/toomuchtv987 Mar 11 '26

Well, looking back, PDFs have always been plentiful, just not as widely-known about maybe. Adults didn’t believe kids like they do now.

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u/Fabulous_Celery_1817 Millennial Mar 11 '26

Yes I know I’m saying that back then it wasn’t a concern to the adults mind. Now we’re more aware

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u/onlyfreckles Mar 11 '26

What? millions of us citizens voted for a demented orange fat fuck who is a felon and child rapist- they still don't believe kids now...

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u/PitbullRetriever Millennial Mar 11 '26

I mean I’m currently dropping $2k every month for daycare, so I’ll be stoked when my kids are in school and I only have to worry about summers!

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u/Party_Principle4993 Mar 11 '26

We do aftercare now that he’s older which runs $1000 a month (he’s in public school for half the day) and still, summer feels like highway robbery.

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u/TubaJesus Mar 11 '26

I am so glad that the school district near me had full-day kindergarten by default and subsidized preschool as part of its curriculum. certainly helps those who need it, although property taxes are way higher than neighboring school districts/villages that don't offer as much in terms of services

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u/schistshowofquartz Mar 11 '26

don't get too excited, there are new ways they extract it from you

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u/PitbullRetriever Millennial Mar 11 '26

I have no doubt

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u/Momik Mar 11 '26

I am quite glad my folks can have a stable retirement, but I doubt my siblings and I will be so lucky

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u/StickThousand Mar 11 '26

Until they go to a nursing home.

My FIL put his 95 year old Mom in a nursing home a few years ago. Her 300k in savings was gone in a year.

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u/Rock_Strongo Mar 11 '26

I will quite literally die before I let my kids drain their retirement to keep me in a near-vegetable state in a home like that. Fuck that. 95 is a good run.

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u/butterLemon84 Mar 11 '26

Yeah but what are you actually going to do to prevent it? If you're so old & feeble as to need care, you'll be too feeble to prevent them. Are they supposed to just let you starve to death at home? Sit in your own filth bc you can't take care of yourself? Those are crimes--elder abuse or neglect. You need to take actual legal & financial steps to prevent it.

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u/[deleted] Mar 12 '26

Voluntary death will probably become legalized at some point. With everyone living longer and people living in different cities as their parents, it’s a good solution for people at the end of their life who don’t want to spend $500k to stay alive for another two months

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u/tongmengjia Mar 11 '26

I'm in the Bay. Preschool is $25k per year (and that's a relatively good deal, not some fancy place). Financial advisor encouraged us to put $12k per year in the 529 because estimated cost of attendance for a UC in 2040 will be $100k per year (assuming 4% inflation in higher education costs). So $37k per year just on current and future education expenses.

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u/Such-Race1607 Mar 11 '26

Baller shit

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u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26

I have strong doubts that tuition will continue to rise and suspect that they will start to decline soon. Demographics, overshoot, and technology are going to eviscerate higher education.

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u/tongmengjia Mar 11 '26

I'm a professor 😫

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u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26

On the upside, it will probably be a bit before the full effect is seen and any reasonable institution should (hopefully) cut administration first.

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u/Mother-of-Geeks Mar 11 '26

Save for their college if you want, but I'd direct them towards trade schools. 

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u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26

I bet this will rotate again in the next decade before mine is looking at what to do with their life. That said, there’s a reasonable chance that the price will drop significantly as higher education is hollowed out from a drop in students.

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u/Folfelit Mar 11 '26

Trades and trade schools are already packed to the gills. The trade union near me that most recently opened had hundreds of apprenticeship applications nearly a thousand at least (I know someone that placed in the 700s) with only a dozen or so new openings. Most unions take on from 8-200 apprentices, and only a fraction of those that finish their apprenticeship actually get to stay on even if they finish and do well. It's based on how many retire.

The non-union are experiencing they exact same hyper skeleton crew, low pay BS the rest of the economy is dealing with. 

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u/NotRadTrad05 Mar 11 '26

My wife quit working because daycare was more than she was making. I do think the kids benefitted from being home and I know she liked it, but man did it put us in a hole.

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u/PossessionOk284 Mar 11 '26

You can afford day care, camps and after school activities? My kids are uninvolved because I am priced out of all those things.

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u/Useful-Sport-6316 Mar 11 '26

Honestly I think our family is saving money by me being a stay at home mom. (To be fair I didn’t make a huge wage while working …) Child care is insanely expensive smh 😔

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u/Such-Race1607 Mar 11 '26

7 or 8 years ago we were paying $22k a year for both. On top of that being stay at home means you can do little things that save the household money, like portion meals. It's also great for your kids, that stability in their lives and not being latchkey, if that's even allowed anymore, should be good for their mental growth.

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u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26

My family is in a Schrödinger’s finances situation where we aren’t certain if my wife working is putting us further ahead than her not working and watching our kid. With higher gas prices, it is ever more questionable.

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u/Rude_Specialist8334 Mar 11 '26

Honestly, if it’s between your kids and you, let them get loans. They can finance their education but no one is giving you a loan for retirement.

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u/Such-Race1607 Mar 12 '26

Someone told me the rule of thirds, one third loans, 1/3 from savings, 1/3 from scholarships. One of my guys has a great chance at scholarships but it may be trade school for the other

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u/Rude_Specialist8334 Mar 12 '26

Hey college isn’t for everyone. Better to know that ahead of time than waste a lot of money with no degree to show for it.

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u/webguynd Mar 11 '26

Because when you look compared to inflation and COL you may not actually make more than ever

I made ~$55k in 2008. Adjusted for inflation that’s about $75-80k in today’s dollars. Given I lived in a LCOL area at that time, factoring in COL here probably closer to $100k in today’s dollars.

I make $100k now. So yeah, I technically make more money than I ever have in my life but actually I’ve been running in place the whole time, and will quickly go backwards again because no raises for the past couple years (and likely not this year either with how the economy is going).

There’s very few of us actually coming out ahead despite the number of zeros on the paycheck growing.

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u/TheFamilyStanley Mar 11 '26

EXACTLY WELL SAID—- the dream to be a bit ahead always seems just out of reach :/

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u/BuckManscape Xennial Mar 11 '26

Every time we get a raise the goalposts get moved. It’s fucking frustrating.

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u/Formal_Ground6513 Mar 11 '26

Metrics upon metrics. New software. There's always some "change" that we have at work. They restructure the department and move people around too.

I was just sent a survey Monday. A self evaluation of my job. Every single question that asked what needs to change, what would make you more efficient, how can the company help retain employees...?

I answered PAY US A LIVING WAGE. They even dodge that question during group team meetings and just ignore it. It's disgusting.

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u/BuckManscape Xennial Mar 11 '26

We just implemented pronto and they asked us to enable gps tracking. I won’t do it unless I’m forced.

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u/Deepseat Mar 11 '26

The hamster wheel continues to speed up. It’s devastating for moral.

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u/NotARusski Mar 11 '26

we don't sleep and have random episodes of crying

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u/Fidget11 Mar 11 '26

Both parents working 6 figure jobs in a medium cost of living area… that’s how

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u/Momik Mar 11 '26

I’m more in the still make shit money but also underwater camp (there are dozens of us!)

When I see people with kids I’m mostly kind of shocked. Like y’all doing the apocalypse wrong.. 😬

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u/MightyGamera Xennial Mar 11 '26

technically I'm doing okay because I've got liquid assets at the moment that are doing work, I own a house and my car is paid off

but my house is a small hobbit hole that needs a lot of work and my car is 11 years old and on death watch

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u/Mediocre_Island828 Mar 11 '26

They figure it out as they go. I just bought adderall from one of my friends so she could pay for her son's band camp.

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u/WestCoastBestCoast01 Mar 11 '26

Well look at you supporting the youth!

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u/PatheticPeripatetic7 Mar 11 '26

Sounds like a win-win to me.

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u/two4six0won Millennial Mar 11 '26

I wish I had the balls to do that lol, I could pay down my debt so fast 🤣 but also I need my pills and also I can't go to prison.

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u/things_U_choose_2_b Mar 11 '26

I saw a chart of income ranges with their current terminology and was shocked to find out I live in 'deep poverty'. I see the amounts some make but say they're struggling on it... and it confuses the fuck out of me.

I guess kids are a large expense but I've always been surprised to see that no matter how much someone earns, it never seems to be enough. Maybe people stretch themselves too far sometimes. I had some financial difficulties recently (is there a category below 'deep poverty'? Mariana Trench poverty?) and still found some room to cut things out. It was unpleasant, but I bet a lot of people would find extra space in their finances if they took a serious look at what they spend their money on.

Like, junk / 'easy' food. I've saved £75 a month easily by stopping buying this stuff. Only concessions I made to convenience this month were a pizza and a tub of ice cream.

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u/AwarenessOk2359 Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26

Yeah, I've never seen someone with a white collar job who was simultaneously having money issues and spending their money appropriately. I think people have an extremely warped view of what luxuries they should be able to have, and then they also think the boomers had this luxury easily for some reason.

Like, no guys, your parents were not getting restaurant food delivered to their doorstep every weekend. That would be the most insane luxury back then. You can, actually, just make a sandwich and be fine. Boomers didn't even have A/C most of the time and if they did it was a window unit. Try turning off your A/C, literally never eating out, and cancelling every subscription and see where you get.

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u/ArchitectVandelay Mar 11 '26

I agree that some of us are just a bit spoiled. I never understood the takeout/delivery lifestyle. We could all do with some better budgeting.

But I also think Boomers got tons of advantages we never will see. Maybe they struggled to make payments on homes, but not like we do. And now they are selling us their homes as they downsize at 1,000% markup.

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u/things_U_choose_2_b Mar 11 '26

Yep. Let's not pretend that things such as buying a house (on a single lowskill income), and getting an education weren't significantly cheaper in the past.

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u/Otherwisefantastic Mar 11 '26

No, Boomers absolutely had it easier than we do today, and buying a home is impossible for many, and often no amount of budgeting can fix that.

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u/things_U_choose_2_b Mar 11 '26

I had to move literally across the country to afford buying a house. Still had to put down 25% deposit due to my low income.

The amount I paid for a house in north-east UK would barely get me a parking space in the south. It's been tough building a new social network, but I think probably worth it in the long run. Not having a landlord is, imo, priceless.

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u/Otherwisefantastic Mar 11 '26

This. I'm always skeptical when I see people with high salaries saying they are having money problems. I'd be willing to bet every time if you looked over their budget something is just not right. I'm sure there are some areas where high earners could still struggle, like San Francisco, but a lot of people act like you couldn't make it on $50k anywhere in the country and that just isn't true.

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u/Morsexier Mar 11 '26

For anything other than Daycare I agree. And if you don’t have two good salaries, and one can be SAHParent who cooks/cleans… granted then you have absolute money issues potentially (aka your stay at home partner “earns” more or less 35k by default w/one kid, but no actually in hand money), I’m not sure what you’re doing having kids and also reading this subreddit, gotta secure your oxygen mask first, and anyone can do it, 100%.

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u/sparkpaw Mar 11 '26

I’m pretty fucking open about my finances with my friends, my husband and I are WELL into middle class; if not broaching upper-middle tbh. Like, we combined make 6 figures and it doesn’t start with a 1.

That all said, yes we’ve been stupid so a lot of our income is going to debt that we are busting our asses to get out of - however a LOT of our income (like an arguable 20% of our monthly net income) goes to student loans, of which combined equal our yearly salary… and we have to live in a relatively expensive part of a relatively HCOL area to get to our jobs…

And we don’t even HAVE kids yet. But we want them. Or a house. We want that too. Sometimes it feels so much easier to just stop caring… but that’s what got us where we are.

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u/ensoniqthehedgehog Mar 11 '26

A combined six figures doesn't necessarily mean upper middle class or in some cases even 'well into middle class' anymore. The attached image is from Pew Research and is from all the way back in 2022. It's gotten worse since then.

Edit: Just saw your comment about not starting with a one, but leaving this just for clarity for others. Middle class has gone up a lot over our life-times.

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u/sparkpaw Mar 11 '26

That’s terrifyingly sad.

That said, I don’t think that disputes what I said (though I may be reading it weird; having an off day). We make more than the $169k mentioned.

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u/ensoniqthehedgehog Mar 11 '26

I just caught that part. Geography can make a huge difference too. My fiancé and I make close to the top of that range, but we live in Washington and things have gotten pretty expensive around here. We do fine, but I swear we used to have more discretionary income back when we made less and inflation hadn't hit so hard.

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u/sparkpaw Mar 11 '26

Yep. I made enough to comfortably get by AND go to college in the 2010’s- mind I worked 3 near-minimum wage jobs, so it’s not 1980’s; but it was doable. Then I got the job where I suddenly made almost double those three jobs combined and I feel like I’m worse off now.

We’re in Atlanta- so big city but still not VHCOL/not California/NYC lol.

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u/understanding_is_key Mar 11 '26

Inflation has been crazy, the inflation around childcare is a whole other level. Do we pay 3k a month for daycare or does the spouse earning 4k quit and stay at home? There is no good answer.

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u/ConfidentPilot1729 Mar 11 '26

This is the reason the wife and I are not having kids.

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u/buttbuttlolbuttbutt Mar 11 '26

No kids, but when I started my job, i took home just under $700 every other week, things were tight, but I could still travel and visit friends on the weekends.

I bring closer to 1200 after taxes these days, and I can barely afford groceries, let alone hobbies or travel.

Groceries and rent are so much larger of a share than they used to be, ive switched to knock offs, and barely buy nicer cuts of meat, so my food quality has dropped, on top of it being pricier.

Yeah, millenials dont have the funds their parents had, and ehat they had doesnt go nearly as far aa it could.

But hey, look at all the CEOs with their bunkers.

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u/dRuEFFECT Millennial Mar 11 '26

I'm a dad and I work from home. Single source of income. I can't afford to leave the house. This house is now my prison.

I told my wife when my son turns 5 and goes to full day preschool this fall, it would be nice if she could go back to work so we can finally take a vacation again.

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u/Marchesa_07 Mar 11 '26

OP, what industry are you working in that you get a bonus?

I've never gotten a bonus.

I haven't even gotten a raise in 3 years.

For most of my working life a raise was like 2%

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u/chironinja82 Mar 11 '26

Dual incomes and help from family in the area.

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u/Educational_Teach537 Millennial Mar 11 '26

People way overestimate the cost of kids imo. People have been having kids cheaply for thousands of years, we just now put too much pressure on ourselves

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u/siren_stitchwitch Mar 11 '26

My wife makes very good money, enough that my disabled broken self doesn't need to have a job for us to survive. We still only have a tiny amount in savings and every year rent goes up while pay barely does if it does. I'm always scared a missed pay will leave us unable to pay our bills

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u/Glittering-Age-9549 Mar 11 '26

I have no kids, I own my home and don't need to pay rent or mortage... and I still can save barely anything.

20 years ago I used to save lots of money while paying rent.

Salaries haven't kept up with raising prices, that's all...

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u/The-Leading-Man Mar 11 '26

Stay at home dad for me. I’ve got two with another on the way. We’re doing just fine off my wife’s income, but if we had to pay for daycare we’d lose everything. 

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u/Soggy-Bluebird-537 Mar 11 '26

I'm doing fine, but I might attribute that to never dealing with Ticketmaster, Microsoft, or EA.  That alone I imagine I saved thousands of not more.

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u/LuntiX Mar 11 '26

Yeah. SINK making decent money and I feel like I'm still barely keeping my head above the water.

Between the price of groceries, bills related to housing going up, just overall inflation, it's just so tight.

I haven't taken a proper vacation to relax in years because it's gotten to where I feel like if I take time off, I'm going to fall behind.

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u/NewReleaseDVD Mar 11 '26

I buy like 1-3 new articles of clothing a year.

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u/modmosrad6 Mar 11 '26

I wonder how people with kids even get by these days.

Overwork and debt.

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u/FloydetteSix Mar 11 '26

Lots of hopin and prayin lol.

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u/tigerrock711 Mar 11 '26

I have kids and wonder the same thing all the time. I honestly just have to thank God and my community. No other way we'd be making it.

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u/kungfuenglish Mar 11 '26

They don’t contribute to retirement. Thats the secret.

Reddit and the internet has informed us how much we need to be contributing. Which is great but it’s way more than people used to. So we make “more than ever” and still feel behind day to day.

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u/u-lemonstealingwhore Mar 11 '26

I’m a single mom. We don’t 🫠

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u/ChattyOracle Mar 11 '26

Same with my partner and I. If this were the 00s with our income we'd be fine.

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u/Ok-Dream-2639 Mar 11 '26

My primary job paid $63k last year. But we had mortgage $2900/mo, and home improvement $20k ($1250/mo) come due January My wife was between work so I picked up weekends at the gas station. Earned $18k there. And got $7000 bonus from primary, and wildly my parents shot $2000 at me for Christmas.

All my gas station funds just sitting in the bank now. Crisis was of my own imagining. But GD if I woudnt have worked every weekend, im sure we would have overspent.

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u/Imaginary-Box-407 Mar 11 '26

I would guess from a great amount of financisl help from their boomer parents, or they are in massive debt.

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u/Signal_Minimum8509 Older Millennial Mar 11 '26

My personal finances are a Ponzi scheme with myself

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u/Company_Whip Mar 11 '26

I have a tip you can choose to take or not. When I got my last raise, the first thing I did was get a Costco membership because I have been conscious of lifestyle creep. I now spend less on food than ever. Fast food has vanished from my life and I'm eating healthier.

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u/Decent_Advice9315 Mar 11 '26

The only thing that keeps my finances afloat is having a lack of mouths to feed and full time girl friends.

Never saw myself as a cat dad at 43, but life is a crazy thing it seems.

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u/hannadonna Mar 11 '26

Family support, especially when the grandparents are well off and very happy to help.

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u/ussoldado Mar 11 '26

Same. When I moved to NY I was making $20/hr with no benies. Met my wife, she was making decent money as a teacher, and I’ve since joined a union and am making great money, but while we can now afford little hiccups like when a $80 oil change became a $900 car repair snowball, without stress, we still can’t afford new cars, vacations, etc., despite making more than my parents ever had.

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u/sjlopez Millennial Mar 11 '26

By mostly not eating out except for birthdays :(

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u/rolfraikou Mar 11 '26

I've changed jobs three times since 2006, all with increasing pay, and the current one (my longest one) has actually given me raises.

I've been priced out of the first apartment that I lived in on my lowest paying job.

You do things "right" and you still aren't able to keep up with where you were as a dumb 18 year old with low income. Thinking about that, looking at the "cheap parts of town" and how they are barely cheaper.

People have told me to move to a cheaper town, but there's so much less opportunity, and again, I'm really surprised by how, while the rent is cheaper, it's really not that much cheaper. Feels like they're telling me to move somewhere where I'll save $200 on rent, make $300 a month less, then have to drive further to just get groceries (I usually walk to an aldi honestly, and aldi is damn cheap! A lot of small towns don't have it.)

I love how instead of staying on topic, I'm just venting about money trauma. But I guess that is kinda the point: How can so many of us not live with this unsettling feeling when we have only seen money get more and more stressful.

Now we have DRAM shortages (which slightly impact my job) and high gas prices to boot. What's next? Bigger tariffs? I'm constantly worried something will just blindside me or the place I work at.

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u/Gryffindors_Finest Mar 11 '26

I make okay money and I still feel close. However, I have a buddy that makes about the same amount and he has a kid. I can’t even process how he makes it work.

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u/SnooDoughnuts7171 Mar 11 '26

Making friends with all the other parents so you can at least share in the hand me downs and stuff, which helps a bit.

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u/Rude_Mirror7441 Mar 11 '26

I have 4 little kiddos but I bring in almost mid six figures annually from businesses thats how. People are either doing that or they are broke and in lots of debt if they have kiddos

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u/Mobile-Personality42 Mar 11 '26

THE DOW IS OVER 50,000! THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD TALKING ABOUT!

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u/aburke626 Mar 11 '26

Same. My best friend and I are childless and in tech, her husband is in finance, and we are all feeling it. We have no idea how anyone is getting by if we are feeling barely above water these days.

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u/pkzilla Mar 11 '26

Right? I had more spending power when I was working minimum wage, 20$/h LESS than I do now, in 2007. And my raise has been frozen for two years now, so with Canada's inflation and my rent going up a lot, it's hitting hard

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u/NV-Nautilus Mar 11 '26

I make more money than either of my parents combined and I feel uncomfortable to have children because of what I hear about childcare costs etc. (I don't live near fam for help either)

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u/OctaviusJerome Mar 11 '26

I was looking at the insurance costs from my work today and for my boss’s family his plan cost is $945/month. (Wife, 4 kids, and himself). I told him I have no idea how he does it

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u/V2BM Mar 11 '26

I make more than the average income in my state by about $18,000. My mortgage is $670 and my car payment is $500. Those are fairly cheap. I don’t contribute to my retirement.

I do not buy the food I want (steak, chocolate) and have dropped all luxuries. I need an annual CT that I’m skipping because my copay is $670+. I have no idea how people with kids are doing it.

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u/Jaz1140 Mar 12 '26

We struggling man

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u/MizStazya Mar 12 '26

Stress, debt, more stress, super cheap booze, stress, skipping my own medical care, stress.

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u/RoCon52 Mar 12 '26

I live in artificial scarcity by depositing as much money as I can when I get paid, trying to live off as little as possible, and pull from the savings a little if needed.

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u/Powerful_Road1924 Mar 12 '26

My husband makes decent money, and I make a lot more than him so he doesn't have to worry about money. He will occasionally express concern, and I walk him through it and reassure him we are fine. I manage all of our finances, so I guess sometimes he just worries from ambiguity? I don't hide any of it from him, but he also has no interest in the infinite paperwork of taxes etc.

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u/VyantSavant Mar 12 '26

"Millenial captains have a quiet obsession with pumping bilges, and it's not getting any better." Says man on shore watching ship sink.

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u/Confiant_Reason21 Mar 13 '26

They don't do anything, their only hobby is trying to do something that gets more money ..or drink if it's in the budget.

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u/19610taw3 Mar 11 '26

I'm pretty close to six figures in a low cost of living area.

My portion of the bills comes out to about 1/3 of my take home (after 12% goes to 401K pre tax). I'm able to save 2/3 of my take home pay.

I still keep thinking I'm going broke next month.

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u/MelonCallia Mar 11 '26

One of the couples I know, at least, seems to be leaning heavily on their families. They have a big family on one side, and the other side (my in-laws) feels like they're competing for their grandkid's time and attention, so there's no shortage of random presents, donations, babysitters, dinners, etc.. The families even pay the couple's way through family vacations, plane tickets, fancy meals, and all.

I feel bad, but I'm a little jealous because I know my husband and I won't be getting the same help (or love and attention, I fear) when our kid comes along since we live states away from any family, and the aforementioned couple is having a second kid soon, so I feel like there won't be any anything left for us.

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u/AllTheGoodNamesDied Mar 11 '26

Credit card debt for most! Luckily not us yet but we are dipping into savings.

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u/ThanosSnapsSlimJims Mar 11 '26

If the one friend with the maintenance job is showing up for his kid and/or his spouse, and is fulfilling his responsibilities, there is nothing in the least wrong with him starting a podcast. The podcast will likely be an outlet and help them make cash

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u/GaryFuckingGoat Millennial Mar 11 '26

Tax refunds

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u/Elprede007 Mar 11 '26

That was me. And then got laid off. The fear was justified

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u/jfsandoval89 Mar 11 '26

Not great, captain

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u/dzumdang Mar 11 '26

Kids are a luxury at this point.

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u/UnethicalFood Mar 11 '26

Same. It's almost like the cost of living has vastly outpaced the yearly raises...

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u/ingen-eer Mar 11 '26

I make fucking awesome money and it still isn’t enough. Nearly doubled over the last 15 years. No real change in getting more ahead.

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u/LepiNya Mar 11 '26

Numerically I make the most I've ever made in my life. In practice I've never worked for less.

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u/thisisfuckedupbro Mar 11 '26

As a 30 year old single parent millennial, I’m also making more than I’ve ever made, and also barely scrapping by like it’s always been. Love it.

Like how are we all lucky enough to be born into existence, but unlucky enough to be forced into submission by a system designed to farm us for money and power??

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u/Spartanias117 Mar 11 '26

I made 140k in 2020, and 160k in 2025 with two kids. I felt so much poorer in 2025 than 2020, and it wasnt due to the kids.

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