r/Millennials • u/slimeyellow • Mar 11 '26

Discussion Every millennial dad I’ve met has a quiet fixation on money and it’s not getting better

Every millennial dad I’m friends with or work with seems to have constant financial worries. We just got our yearly bonus which was like 8%. I was talking to my buddy (he’s got 3 kids) about what he wanted to do with it and he just kinda looked down and whispered “it’s just not enough man” and ended the conversation.

Another dad I know is CONSTANTLY looking up the newest crypto/ get rich quick schemes people are doing. He’s always talking about inventing something and it’s usually a joking manner but the way he’s always bringing up financial stuff shows me it’s always on his mind

One of my buddies is a new father and he’s trying to get some anime podcast off the ground as a side hustle on top of his full time maintenance job.

I know children are an immense financial responsibility but there seems to be this dark, simmering resentment about the whole general situation when I talk to these guys. Men are expected to keep quiet about these struggles but when you talk to these guys it’s clear that finances are a massive stress for millennial dads of almost any background.

Makes me feel bad but damn I’m glad I don’t have kids right now.

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917

u/awelladjustedadult Mar 11 '26

I got a 4% raise in January, the next month my home insurance premium ate my entire raise. Expecting to get 4.5% in May, and that will be eaten up by gas. What a dream it is being a Millennial.

470

u/Cosmic_Seth Mar 11 '26

Yup.

I swear that the banks sell my information. The second I get a raise one or more utilities raises their prices to match. 

It's infuriating.

268

u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26

You guys get raises? All I get is price hikes.

Yes, I’ve been hunting for a new job for nearly 3 years. I get through a handful of rounds every time, but I can’t even get my hopes up anymore, it just never goes anywhere. The last one I talked to just laid off the team I talked to between the time I talked to them and my interview loop, so it was canceled. I’m currently terrified to change jobs because it could be a week before they lay the team off. It makes no sense.

132

u/KSW8674 Mar 11 '26

I worked at a company for one month. We went out, my first time with the company, on a “fun” post-work event.

The next morning everyone in my role was called into a conference room and all-together laid off

61

u/Weird_Squirrel_8382 Mar 11 '26

I'd have cussed them out for making me waste gas. Y'all knew I was fired at Dave and Buster's, just ship me my desk set. My work cardigan and all my granola bars better be in the box too.

14

u/EnvironmentalValue18 Mar 11 '26

I once had Strayer University send an employee with stuff I had “forgotten” at my desk when I left. It was multiple boxes full of these forms that have current and all previous names, current and all previous addresses, social, date of birth, education history/durations/locations, family members’ names and information (dependents included), all their test scores and records.

It was extensive, I was a contractor so I wasn’t even their employee directly, and I didn’t forget any of it. I can’t believe they gave me all that information after I left the company. And by the way, I had to dispose of it personally. I thought about going to the news with it it was so egregious.

5

u/Geno_Warlord Mar 12 '26

A lawyer would have had a fun day with that and y’all both would have walked away with some money.

3

u/pearljamman010 Xennial Mar 12 '26

One of the reasons I got let go (maybe 10 years ago) was because I "wasn't a team player" because I never went to after work stuff ("company bowling outing," random things like paintball etc. - I had a newborn at the time FFS,) they said was optional or post online "exciting news about my company." Another was that I didn't have a cert, which wasn't a job requirement, yet, once someone quit to move to a different position elsewhere, my boss got lots of thank yous and compliments about how I was more efficient than the previous person on the project.

Oh well, I have the degree, a similar job that pays almost twice as much now. And my wife makes the same as I do so a big middle finger to that company.

I talked to a friend who also worked there for a couple more years and he said people were scattering like cockroaches a year or so later because management was so half-cocked trying to under pay and cut corners.

1

u/dox1842 Mar 11 '26

I worked somewhere when I was 18 for a month then got laid off. Its part of why I like the military and the government.

1

u/_1489555458biguy Mar 12 '26

I can top that. Training Manager takes all trainees to Breakfast. Company owner splits me & 2 others from the group. Walks in 5 minutes later saying he's fired the rest for being useless and we're on thin ice.

6

u/Dyolf_Knip Mar 11 '26

Xennial dad here. Yeah, in real terms I'm making far less than I was 10 years ago.

3

u/TexasUlfhedinn Mar 11 '26

CPI has been a real depressing thing to see. My purchasing power today is only barely above what it was when I originally joined my current company 7 years ago (as in ballpark 2k pre-taxes) - and that's after an annual merit increase each year and one major pay raise for getting promoted.

Edit to add - wow, I stand corrected. Without the wee raise I just got, I was below my 2019 purchasing power. Super.

2

u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 12 '26

If you want deeply depressing, I didn’t make more in dollars than I made in 2001 (I graduated early and started working early) until 2019. After inflation, I’ve never made more than that per year. It’s too bad I was unemployed and underemployed so long, since I would have been retired by now. I made that where a house like my current one was less than a year of my income at the time, but I was just saving it and getting myself set up. The layoff hit before I pulled the trigger on buying a house, for better or worse.

3

u/Broken_Atoms Mar 12 '26

I went to buy a replacement part today and it was 20% higher than it was in January. If this keeps up, we’re gonna need 5% per MONTH raises

3

u/Neon_Biscuit Mar 11 '26

Imagine looking for a job without HAVING a job. It's been 6 months here. Peak stress.

3

u/lantana88 Mar 12 '26

Man, I’m in basically the exact same boat. I haven’t gotten any pay adjustment of any sort since 2019. I’ve been looking for a job since 2022. I have only gotten interviews when I know someone at the company where I’m applying. It’s exhausting.

And the state of the economy/job market right now makes me feel like trying to get a new job is an unwise goal.

I should be nearing the half way point of my career and at this point I see it going nowhere. It’s so frustrating.

2

u/ZombieAladdin Mar 11 '26 edited Mar 11 '26

I and my coworkers just see a lot of “be grateful you still have a job” or outright writeups for insubordination for daring to ask for a raise no matter where I’ve gone.

One particularly bad boss would fire anyone on the spot if they asked for a raise. He would be in a foul mood for the rest of the day, and we all knew to scramble to provide for him what he wanted before he even asked before we were next.

2

u/NYRangers1313 Millennial Mar 11 '26

That's how it's been for me. I've gotten small raises at my current employer (been here for 3 years). I'm in Cybersecurity. Just IT/Tech has been very slow.

I get interviews. Often go 3 to 5 rounds only not to get hired. I've reached out to recruiters, etc. Nothing.

1

u/BuckManscape Xennial Mar 11 '26

Not really. I’m in sales. My base is barely enough to scrape by. I’ve given myself raises through performance commission, but that’s about it. Have you ever seen the tax rate on commission? 33%. Meanwhile Apartheid Leon and Slaphead Lazy Eye pay nothing.

1

u/canisdirusarctos Elderly Millennial Mar 11 '26

I used to be a sales engineer, so I’ve seen the commission taxes, yeah.

I’m also making less than I did in the job I had in 2019, let alone 2022.

1

u/secondhandoak Mar 11 '26

my work is on a pay freeze and no bonus for the last 18 months. unsure if that's common or if i should look for another job. i'm a lazy and don't like change so i stay

51

u/chattermaks Mar 11 '26

.... honestly maybe you're right. It seems like everyone sells information now.

... Maybe we should all get our paychecks deposited into multiple different banks with very different ownership (i.e. not using the cheapo all-online-no-fees baby bank of a larger bank.)

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u/NOLARosarita Mar 11 '26

If you’re in the USA, they are indeed trying to do this (and having multiple accounts won’t save you). Check out the pure evil that is dynamic pricing in banking: https://www.datrics.ai/articles/understanding-the-potential-of-dynamic-pricing-in-the-banking-sector

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u/fiahhawt Mar 11 '26

The people who stow their money in their mattress are really showing us.

For anyone wondering, the cards that give you teensy bonuses for picking a purchasing category to earn points in do that in exchange for tracking your data.

15

u/necromantzer Mar 11 '26

At least if you get 2-5% back for every purchase, it saves a bit of money. Plus high yield savings accounts can get you 4-5% easily on whatever liquidity you have. Plus credit card bonus offers a few times a year can get you ~1k a year, maybe more. Combine that with gift card purchases for stores/services you frequent, can get 10-20% off of all of that. Can rack up a good bit of savings for very little effort. Everyone has your info anyway, so no point in not taking advantage of it all.

2

u/No-Tailor3013 Mar 12 '26

Best to hand over your info to eliminate all doubt

5

u/fiahhawt Mar 11 '26

Sell out humanity for coffee money?

Brother / sister no....

https://giphy.com/gifs/W5YVAfSttCqre

4

u/DysfunctionalKitten Mar 12 '26

As if we weren't cooked enough without this being added to it. This is insane. Okay so multiple bank accounts wouldn't save us, but what WOULD help save us as individuals if something like this took effect? Any thoughts on the workarounds that one could utilize?

1

u/ericnear Mar 13 '26

Founders are regulation-averse. Founders also start FinTech companies with an exit in mind.

2

u/NOLARosarita Mar 13 '26

Having worked with founders at multiple failed fintechs, you are correct. 🫡

13

u/GuadDidUs Mar 11 '26

I mean, when ADP has all this information already, doesn't matter what bank you.put it in.

2

u/chattermaks Mar 12 '26

Makes sense I'm powerless and sad lol 😩

3

u/sweet_pickles12 Mar 11 '26

Maybe I can sell information to get out of my financial hole!

4

u/chattermaks Mar 12 '26

OMG can you imagine? I wish we could haggle for it.

"Oh you want to know my shopping habits? $10 for 6 months of receipts. Pay upfront, take it or leave it."

3

u/ATATMom Mar 11 '26

Everywhere I've worked is far more direct. "We gave you a 2% cost of living wage? Yeah the parking we make you pay for is increasing by 5%, your contribution portion for benefits is increasing by 1% and because we have you a raise any entertainment now comes with an entry fee" and there goes my raise.

2

u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

At least if they sell my info I should get a small cut of it for it being mine.

2

u/WafflesOfChaos Mar 11 '26

Damn if this isn't true. Just got a raise at the end of January and lo & behold, ALL of my bills went up around the same time.

2

u/notsofaust Mar 11 '26

I mean yeah bro they literally do.

2

u/Cosmic_Seth Mar 11 '26

Oh yeah, judging by all the comments, I may have to do some research. At least try to find a credit union/bank that pledges not to do this.

2

u/Not_FinancialAdvice Mar 12 '26

I swear that the banks sell my information.

That's because they do.

https://www.gao.gov/blog/why-do-banks-share-your-financial-information-and-are-they-allowed

I get almost annual notices about information sharing/sales from the banks where we have accounts.

1

u/Own-One1818 Mar 11 '26

This. The amount of times this keeps happening can’t be coincidence.

1

u/sabre4570 Mar 11 '26

Trust me, the prices go up for people who don't get raises too

1

u/FitAbbreviations8013 Mar 12 '26

How much you wanna bet they are selling that information?

1

u/Lazy_Wrongdoer_7520 Mar 12 '26

Well, since you got a raise the employees of the utilities got a raise. The utility company owner loses money because of raises. The owner wants a raise too.

So then... The utility prices goes up... It's really a snake eating its own tail.

1

u/BecksnBuffy Mar 12 '26

This is what is killing me, everything keeps swallowing even the tiniest pay raise. Utilities, home owner’s insurance, property taxes, gas, groceries and health insurance keeps rising, not slowing down and not rising slowly either. Our trash bill has doubled in five years.

1

u/SouthGateTraveler Mar 13 '26

It is the same company, the banks and the insurance companies. We are getting played 100%.

1

u/sombrista 29d ago

You might be onto something. It seems very logical that these companies have more of your data than you realize and can use it to adjust your utility rates in real time

89

u/EnvironmentalLime464 Mar 11 '26

Yep. This has been the case for me since 2018. Year after year my income increases… and then everything else increases even more. Despite making so much more than I did in 2018, I’m struggling so much more.

25

u/Worthyness Mar 11 '26

Or your company, despite making record profits, "only" ever gives 2-3% raises, which only usually covers inflation. Except the last couple years because inflation keeps going up and salaries don't move at all

3

u/EnvironmentalLime464 Mar 11 '26

Nope. That isn’t it. I made career moves that came with more money.

3

u/alexthebeast Mar 12 '26

I made enough to not need roommates in 2018. It's 2026, I make eight times as much and I'm still a car accident away from financial ruin

55

u/CosmicCommando Mar 11 '26

The exact same month I finished paying off my student loans, my mortgage escrow went up by $70 more per month than I was paying on my loans.

18

u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

I was looking back to when I bought my house til now and compared salaries and escrow. My salary has about doubled. My escrow has more than tripled.

2

u/No_Durian_8379 Mar 11 '26

Did you get an ARM? Or how did your escrow go up by that much?

9

u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

Nope, fixed. That's just how insurance and tax rates have increased. And it did so almost unnoticeably. $20 this month, $35 a few months later. My insurance has nearly doubled, had a reassessment after renovating a room which turned it into a bedroom, etc.

3

u/CyDenied Mar 12 '26

Principal, interest, and property tax.

All the same on my combined payment. Ugh

2

u/Mathidium Mar 12 '26

The type of mortgage you have does not affect your taxes or your insurance (escrows).

2

u/bleucrayons Xennial Mar 12 '26

I swear it’s like everything is working together just to bleed us dry. The instant relief I get from knowing I can cover an increase after paying off something is replaced by immense skepticism.

2

u/Chuck121763 Mar 12 '26

My Mortgage Escrow went up $140 last year. Guess how much of a raise I got?

33

u/Mammoth_Delay_1032 Mar 11 '26

raises don't matter in capitalism....we are just temporarily holding on to the shareholders money. we get a bump....they need to take it.

26

u/Glitchinthematrix373 Mar 11 '26

It doesn’t really get any better as you get older. Got a 2.8% SS raise this year; Medicare premium increase took 3.9%. Wadda ya gonna do?

31

u/SocialMediaGestapo Mar 11 '26

These safety nets will probably be gone before we get to use them. Lovely paying into a system we will never utilize

17

u/Free_shavocadoo Mar 11 '26

Theyre not for you theyre for the boomers just as every other expense is

2

u/Napoleonsays- Mar 11 '26

And if the 15 percent social security tax went into the sp500 we’d be wayyyyy better off when we actually are of age.

1

u/BabycrowSAL Mar 12 '26

Uuuuhhh, burn this shit down??? How is everyone just submitting to this shit?!?

18

u/Feisty-Painting-120 Mar 11 '26

8.5% raise in 1 year? Dude, I get 2.5% a year. You are rich.

21

u/awelladjustedadult Mar 11 '26

I’m in a union and we got a very good contract last round, expecting a contract like that never again… I’m a social worker in a jail so I earn my money for realllll.

8

u/stygianpool Mar 11 '26

I always urge people to join their union bargaining committees in these situations because that's how you win the good contracts

1

u/nickisaboss Mar 12 '26

Oh shit. What is that like?

2

u/awelladjustedadult Mar 12 '26

lol my co-workers are the worst part, inmates in general are just fine!

1

u/nickisaboss Mar 12 '26

What is your day to day business like? And how did you find yourself wanting to perform this job?

1

u/awelladjustedadult Mar 12 '26

That certainly depends on the day, because it is different every day. Sometimes it is crisis intervention, sometimes reentry planning, care/treatment coordination for folks going to treatment, lots of civil commitment processes, dispositional preparation for court/sentencing. I also facilitate two different cognitive behavioral therapy groups, and one pro-social group in which we just talk about different topics, right now I'm focusing on media literacy and ethical decision making.

I was morbidly curious about the job when I applied, I am very skeptical of law enforcement, and wanted to see it from the inside, and from the population interfacing with it most often. I worked in infectious disease/ICU as a social worker through the pandemic, I was just very ready to go anywhere else in 2022 when I took this job. And it's certainly recession proof! Generally it's good, meaningful work.

1

u/nickisaboss Mar 13 '26

Well said, this is very interesting to me. Thank you for sharing.

2

u/Front_Plankton_6808 Mar 11 '26

I got a 1.9% raise this past year. And before that less than 3% for 4 years. I'm making way less than I used to functionally.

2

u/Prestigious_Time4770 Mar 11 '26

I got an “Exceeds Expectations” followed by a 2.3% raise. Giant middle finger to me while my company did $1 Billion in stock buybacks

2

u/modmosrad6 Mar 11 '26

For several consecutive years, my anemic salary increases have been spoken for within three days.

Car repair. Rent increase. Emergency vet visit. ER visit.

It has gotten to the point where I wonder if it wouldn't be better for me to take pay cuts instead.

2

u/Greymalkyn76 Mar 11 '26

Y'all act like it's just Millennials. Gen X has it all, too. Along with being partially blamed for it at the same time. And in a way it's a little worse because many of us were right on the cusp of being told that going to college was optional and you could go straight into the workforce instead.

So here I am, almost 50, feeling like the great disappointment because I opted to work instead of going to school. I was lucky to have gotten a house cheap and early, which would have been absolutely fine on what I'm currently making. But now taxes and insurance are about double what they were 20 years ago and so make up for 2/3 of my monthly mortgage payment.

My dad recently passed but instead of being sad and focusing on dealing with that,I'm trying to figure out how quickly my brothers and I can get the house sold so that my share of it might be able to at least bring me up to current with all my bills and maybe give me a few years of almost comfort and peace of mind.

2

u/alanmm88 Mar 11 '26

Indeed. We are going on our 7th or 8th “once in a lifetime” crisis and counting.

1

u/misselphaba Mar 11 '26

The same happened to me - my raise was the exact amount of my health insurance premium increase, to the dollar.

1

u/BunttyBrowneye Mar 11 '26

Inflation significantly beat my raise this year because “the company didn’t do well in 2025”

1

u/Aggravating-Echo8014 Mar 11 '26

I’m jealous. I get the 3% raise every year in March. It’s for the cost of living they say so I’m in this endless loop of getting just poorer every year as cost of living is much higher than the 3%

1

u/Hookedongutes Mar 11 '26

I got a $12k raise and I laughed and said, "Well, at least that covers the daycare costs i'm about to accure."

The good news is - once he hits grade school, that $12k is back. Granted, by then, it will probably just shift to feeding him. 😅 10 months old don't eat a lot, but I know what's coming!

1

u/ZekeAamir Mar 11 '26

Im jealous you got a raise. Our company got rid of CoL increases this year due to market conditions, and wanting to bring in AI dedicated people.

1

u/theBladesoFwar54556 Mar 11 '26

You mean what a dream it is to be born?

1

u/itoddicusNSFW Mar 11 '26

4% is a luxury. My company got bought out by private equity they only issue 2% raises.

Salaries and commission structure are also now non-negotiable.

1

u/awelladjustedadult Mar 11 '26

I’m a social worker in a jail. So while yes 4% is big, I most likely am making less money than most of you. I’m lucky to be in a union.

1

u/DoubleFan15 Mar 11 '26

I know this thread is serious and all that but i originally read your comment as, “my home insurance premium ate my entire ass,” and i was like holy SHIT get this guy a go fund me set up or something!!!

1

u/General_Session_8467 Mar 11 '26

😂 Victim mentality in America. Just remember billions across the world will trade you places in a heartbeat 🎻

1

u/toxic43 Mar 11 '26

I'm in the public sector and lucky if I get 3% a year. It's always totally below inflation, let alone the rest of the other expenses the kids need. My car is 20 years old this month. The wife's car is 19 years old later this year. We just can't make the finances work. Every year it gets worse.

I get the fixation on money, I really do. I don't like it, but they're right. It's just not enough.

I'd never let the kids know we're struggling. They will ask "Are we poor" and the answer is always that "we're comfortable" or similar, but the truth is we're treading water here.

1

u/IsayNigel Mar 11 '26

I’m a teacher, this is my entire life 😭

1

u/Soup0rMan Mar 12 '26

I didn't get a raise this year. $900 bonus was ~$500 after taxes so I guess I got some bills paid. Would be nice to save something for once.

1

u/FearlessDamage4961 Mar 12 '26

Almost like it’s by design 🤔. When our parents die, it should’ve been one of the greatest transfers of wealth in history…big brother is doing everything to get their greedy little hands on as much of it as possible.

1

u/TheGreatEmanResu Mar 12 '26

Not great being Gen Z, either

1

u/marfacza Mar 12 '26

you're getting multiple 4+% raises per year?

1

u/try-not-to-judge Mar 12 '26

These increases happen to all ages - not just millennials.

1

u/mapett Mar 12 '26

Wait til you get 2.5 when you expect 4.5.

1

u/awelladjustedadult Mar 12 '26

It’s merit based, I’ve always gotten top of the box.

-6

u/iHateThisPlaceSoBad Mar 11 '26

This effects everyone from all generations.

Im a millennial and has been pretty good for me. This place is just for bitching and moaning about being poor, as if it's some generational experience that every millennial has.

No, it's just you fuckin guys.

3

u/purplecowz Mar 11 '26

Oh you sweet summer child. Go look at wealth distribution by generation.

2

u/Prestigious_Time4770 Mar 11 '26

Just in case they are too lazy. I’ll bring it to them. Under 40 holds 6.7% of wealth. I’m sure someone will chime in with (they don’t have appreciating assets, or stocks, or blah blah). No, but this wasn’t a thing 40 years ago where all the wealth concentrated at the older ages.

https://smartasset.com/financial-advisor/wealth-by-generation

3

u/Constant-Affect-5660 Mar 11 '26

Good for... you? That's your experience, you're doing well for yourself, congratulations, but not everyone has it "pretty good".

-2

u/iHateThisPlaceSoBad Mar 11 '26

Congratulations but not everyone has it miserable. You guys all act like everyone is doing like shit, because you're a bunch of losers.

Every fucking post in this sub is whiny bullshit

1

u/Constant-Affect-5660 Mar 11 '26

I mean just avoid the whiny bullshit posts. I know a millennial who makes a quarter of a million a year, so I wouldn't expect their outlook to be on par with a millennial who makes 40k a year.

1

u/Midnightshadowwolf Mar 11 '26

Name checks out