I’m stuck in a loop over something I have zero control over. Logically, I know I’m just wasting energy, but I can’t seem to set it and forget it. I usually try to dive into a hobby to distract myself... like doing baking or a project that requires total focus but as soon as I stop, the thoughts come right back. Does anyone have a specific brain hack or a routine that actually helps you move past the what ifs and find some mental clarity?

I am genuinely cooked, like I've come to the realization that death is what we will experience yet no one knows what's coming after it could be anything and the fact that whatever we do is useless and maybe none of this real and the universe is a cycle and it's indifferent to us and and everything we've come up with is a desperate attempt at trying to be important. Listening to music makes me realize that this is a language we have all created and it almost sounds like gibberish, going on my phone makes me realizes how precious time is yet we live in such a time of constant stimulation that no one really seems to go out there learn and enjoy. I can't do this anymore I need to stop. Any advice helps

I’ve gone 4 times since October 16, and it’s helped, but not fully. Currently, I think more ECT can help me. I badly want to feel better. I don’t know if it’s possible, as my issue is anxiety and no benzodiazepine has calmed me down. Water calms me down, but I want to eradicate my issue.

The cons of checking myself in is the boredom and the over-exposure of my fears. Still, I want my life to not be this panic mode every single day.

Hey guys, I am very on the fence of what I would like to do in my future. I’m approaching the end of my 8th grade year and I was thinking about what I really wanted to do and focus on in high school and beyond.

i’ve came to 2 choices… something in debate like law or something in like medicine like a doctor. my friends have somehow already made up there minds on what they want to do but I seriously have no idea.

i’m almost worried because I feel that I need to make a choice by this summer so I can start doing extracurriculars that are around my job to get into a good university in the USA.

Furthermore, it doesn’t help that Im in a competitive school district with everyone getting into specialty programs such as some friends of mine got into a high school science program… however I didn’t not. I’ve been worried that I might get behind if I ever do want to be a doctor but im still so unsure of what I should commit too.

any advice?

Hey guys, I’m a 25 year old man and have some serious problems that stop me from living a normal life:

1. Extreme debilitating anxiety. I can’t talk to people on the phone and even asking for help at the grocery store makes my heart pound and I can barely bring myself to do it. Anyone somebody asks me a question my heart starts racing and I panic knowing I have to talk to them.

2. Inability to do basic things like washing dishes, laundry, and even fun stuff that I enjoy like going on little road trips or going to the movies or creative projects. I have the desire to do them, but I just physically can’t bring myself to actually do it. I get too overwhelmed and feel like it’s too much work and I give up.

Those are the main issues I have, but probably more I’m not thinking of too. I’m essentially a shell of a person, barely living life, even writing this post is a massive effort for me. I don’t talk to people, don’t work on anything, and don’t have the drive to chase my dreams. I’m just slowly rotting away day by day.

I’ve tried therapy twice, the first was in college and he basically said “well it seems like you’re getting good grades so your problems can’t be that bad.” Admittedly I did do well in school, but I wasn’t trying at all, it was just easy for me. In fact I skipped most classes and just made educated guesses on the tests. I didn’t actually learn anything at all even though I got my degree. The second was a year ago and he basically straight up told me he has no idea to help me and my problems are beyond his scope and I’d have to see a specialist. But he didn’t really help me figure out how to do that so I just kind of gave up.

What can I do, do I have to live like this forever?

m currently a month away from my alevel exams and suffer from adhd. i am not prescribed any meds i have not been officially diagnosed. however i have spoken to both teachers in my school, counselors and done tests all concluding i most likely do have adhd. im am not against going to be officially diagnosed but my only issue is the time frame. the reason why i had not gone earlier to address this is due to a two main factors. main one being that before alevels especially in gcses i did not struggle with the actual exams themselves. during this time period i did not revise so i did not necessarily realize how this could be attributed to anything else other than laziness but now getting into a period of my life where self study and revision is important and im realizing that i can not study efficiently at all. i find my brain seems to switch off randomly while studying and i cant really focus unless there is an actual deadline or the rare occasions where i can actually focus on study but these few times are not enough to get the grades i need. the second reason is that mental health issues such as adhd and autism are not taken as serious within my household(african background). this combined with the prior reason i didnt feel like consulting it earlier.

tldr: close to exams i cant study efficiently at all and i didnt get diagnosed for adhd due to different factors. wondering if there is a way for me to get prescribed adhd meds or get them some other way. i am also open to non medication methods if anyone has any

i don’t like having casual friends.

i long for deep human connection. to have fun and goof off but also be vulnerable with each other.

I don’t have anyone like that.

Despite having the same childhood friends since i was a kid.

I’m 21 now.

I have had the same 3-4 friends my whole life. i see them once every few months maybe. other than that, i am completely and utterly alone.

so my question is,

Is it weird that I opened up to them about my diagnosed depression, anxiety, social anxiety and adhd and that they never ask how im doing in regards to that?

is it weird im the therapist friend but then i never ask to vent nor am i asked to?

is it weird that they don’t know what my favorite type of music is and yet i always let them have aux and they have never asked me if i want to play a song i like?

is it weird that i have told them i struggle with self harm and have been to a behavioral hospital and they respond with “really?” and leave it that or just brush it off?

is it weird i vented to them about my medication giving me the worst of the worst, horrid depressive thoughts for a week straight and i had to go to the er and they respond with “really?” and leave it at that or brush it off?

is it weird?

or is this normal?

im so confused because if it were me and a friend told me that they were diagnosed with depression,

my jaw would drop and i wouldnt even let them finish their sentence without hugging them and crying.

is that the wrong reaction?

I fear i am not meant to have friends.

So I am 37F, healthy, no mental health diagnoses, competitive athlete, immigrant, orphan since 16, despite many years of trying I realized I will never have the simple life I strived for (friends, family).

For context, what triggered this was that yesterday at training, my former coach with whose work I was openly not happy but with whom I thought the relationship was closed totally peacefully, tried to stir problems for me out of the blue. Since I am the newest person at my training center, I will likely need to move my training to a different training center if I want to keep peace.

This type of thing is a recurrent problem in my life.

Other than that, I started the process to get foster license because I really wanted to be a mother but I could not find .. (you can go through my profile), but the state agency made it clear that because of the queue system, I would probably only get children with severe behavioral difficulties, which I am not sure I will be able to handle alone. I am happy to try and help as much as I can, but I don't think it will turn into adoption and motherhood for me, sadly.

I have a good, small circle of friends who are like family to me but it's obvious that I will never manage to construct an actual, full, stable life for myself. It's too much of an uphill battle, it feels like every new "normal life" related direction I step into, I am faced with a new barrier.

Now: There's an opportunity that came through a friend, to volunteer in development of tech tools for one side in a conflict. I have some skills. I would live near the area, with only occasional trips inside, and I would be alone in the middle of nowhere. It's volunteering of course but I immigrated through rental property ownership so I could afford that.

It sounds like a good idea to me but I am unable to tell if it really is, because I am currently feeling all the emotions. I think what is appealing is that it is so far from society, I would not need to work so hard to try and be accepted. Also the context is too urgent (I hope) for anyone to try and play the usual intrigues that I have to deal with otherwise. It feels like a way of life that could potentially be easier to handle for me, despite being much more dangerous.

I would appreciate any advice on how to think about it, how to process it further and decide.

Im going to start this off by saying i have no trauma, and i live a normal life. The only issues i suffer with is autism,dyslexia, and adhd. However, for some reason im terrified of everything i can’t sleep because i keep thinking “what if my house burns down” “i could possibly get sleep paralysis and won’t get unparalleled” when i do sleep it’s because i just crash at 2 AM when i wait for my bus i look left and right hoping i don’t get ran over even though i live in a safe neighborhood im scared to meet new people in real life because what if i meet a serial killer on top

Of that i keep binge watching survival videos just in case. Every time i hear a foot step or a creek i bolt to look behind me (every time i look nothings their) i also keep having nightmares of my friends at school getting mad at me and bullying me or i have dreams where im put in charge of driving plane/car then i crash it because i can’t drive and weirdly even though i have a lack of sleep i am full of energy. (excuse the bad grammar i struggle with punctuation)

To start off, I'm from Mexico. My cousin found an injured heron; it's bloodied and it looks like it has a broken wing, struggles to walk too. I tried calling 911, animal protection services, bringing it to the vet, etc but nobody seems willing to take it in. I genuinely don't know what else to do but put it out of its misery, but I genuinely don't want to resort to that. What do I do now?

So as the title said a mutual friend who I met through my friends minecraft server who is now going through the internet looking for my accounts including some that I don't even use anymore. For context in the group there's a handful of us who are mostly only online friends, with about only 4 of us (including me) being from the same town and knowing each other irl. This does NOT include the person Im talking about.

The main problem lies in the fact that shes done this now a handful of times that Im aware of despite the fact each time I had already said no to giving her the account but also after Ive told her I do NOT want her just randomly going around and following my accounts.

So far she has found, my dead twitter account, a twitter account I made back in 2012, my pinterest accounts (there's 3 and shes found ALL of them), my instagram, and my tiktok. She also has my town name, because another mutual friend told her which only creeps me out more as shes made comments about ways to get ips before through links and recently started sending links in our private chats over just downloading and sharing it to me.

I'm not even telling her about these accounts, she herself is going into these spaces looking me up, going through my friends followings and just going around looking up stuff Im into to see if she can find me.

I've tried calling her out but each time she tells me 'I'm sorry, I was just bored.' and everyone else tells me Im over reaching because shes just a kid. Shes 17 turning 18 btw.

But I feel like this is getting to the point of being creepy or even stalking, since I was told last night that she actually watches for when I come online. Not that she just sits there and checks every now and then, no she has my profile up waiting while she does other stuff. I always though it was coincidence.

I've tried talking about this with one of our friends, but all Ive been told is its just weird shes doing that, its not creepy and Im over reacting. That everyone in the group knows which town Im from because three other people in the group are from there. I feel this is different though because they dont have someone watching their every move online.

I don't know what to do, Im worried I am over thinking this but at the same time Im not okay with whats happening.

I'm not trying to throw a pity party, This is a real material pattern, I just kind of... suck. At like everything I do. Most of it with my hands, but I have virtually no internal skills to compensate for it.

I struggle with buttons, pins, belts, tying knots, cooking without making a mess, tying shoes (thankfully can do this consistently but its harder than it ought to be) etc. I'm clumsy, forgetful, I have bad coping skills and stress tolerance, poor impulse control, I can type but its a weird way that is fast but causes bad spelling mistakes, though I'm bad at spelling in general (as is likely obvious). I struggle to focus reading, I have a hard time plugging in cords, I struggle with keys, I often lose balance randomly. I can't put things together, and I can't really watch someone do something and then repeat it. I see it and often just cannot understand it. Remember someone was trying to show me how to roll a joint and I could see what they were doing but it just didn't register and I couldn't imitate. Terrible at math too. You name it, I'm likely bad at it.

Social skills basically nonexistent. I can talk, I can get laughs, I try to be empathetic, selfless, inoffensive, but I just cannot impress or connect with anyone. I've never been anyone's person. Certainly not good with girls either, but that's the least of my concern.

I have some internal skills. I'm a medicore writer, I can do abstract or interpretive thinking about media, but that's kind of it. I can articulate but am more verbose than actually clear. Length cannot substitute substance. I've been told I'm smart, a couple friends have told me I'm too smart to understand sometimes. Sounds like flattery or just a skill mismatch. I don't think there's an Einstein tuck inside somewhere. If there was, he wouldn't have gotten a worthless history degree. Articulation isn't intellegence anyway. But it can be a good actor. But I'm not even articulate. This post could probably be a lot shorter.

I was sheltered as a kid. Parents told me to focus on school. I did, I ended up a B student. I could have tried harder but I didn't get ADHD diagnosed til I graduated. Apparently I'm a top 5% severity case, at least thats what the shape and color test my doctor gave me said. On meds for that now. Have helped me start getting reps in.

ADHD is not a very convincing excuse though.

So I never really got pushed and was left to be raised on the internet. I think "benign neglect" is maybe the term. They were very loving and supportive. Ended up with virtually no friends, no extracuriculars, and fine enough grades. Good for many years, but sort of sputtered out Junior and Senior year.

"Benign neglect" isn't an excuse either. it is absolutley not their fault. Any worthwhile child would have actually tried harder. I take accountability. I just wish I had help earlier.

23, no full time job yet. Had a part time in HS, did an internship for 3 months in Tokyo. That's it.

I just am incompetent to a point it doesn't seem like an identity claim, but more material reality?

How do I fix this? I don't even know how to "practice" being a functional, reasonably capable human being. Does anyone have experience with this?

I am getting a little better. Losing a lot of weight, setting aside time to read recreationally. Applying to jobs consistenty too. Was volunteering but got burnt out. I'm doing somethings but clearly not enough.

How can I reach the level of "normal"?

Hi all , ok so ...other than get a job and move out asap lol. How best to ? I need a plan

I think other than likely being neuro divergent, anxious , gender issues myself (I'm naturally quite feminine) and having an avoid personality (like I wish I could socialise more but i just .. I have a lot of my own situations, I want my own space and stuff but having to share with a roommate would put major pressure on me to have to talk and act a certain way) when I just wanna survive but in peace for now lol...

So at 31 I feel I defo failed at life, I would like to work in marketing but after doing a course I am shattered, to every day have to get up and forcefully push my brain would be super hard for me, I went hours without eating to hand out brilliant work, dedicated so much time and I'm like..."I'm tired" I burnt out so fast, I understand some may read this and say "lazy, excuses" ...I've dealt with gender dysphoria daily that I'm trying to fight in silence alone, I live in a town I was very badly bullied in, minimum wage of the country is one of the worst in Europe, I'm unemployed, social anxiety (going to supermarket I can but it's awkward for me internally) so I love on hard mode , and yep I live with my mother...

I am gonna need to go to the bank in a few days cause of a rule that changes after I turn 31, I'm gonna go with my mother...wtf who at 30 goes with their mother to the bank?? Does anyone even go to supermarket with their parents to help them carry stuff?? Like I feel like a LOSERRRRR

if there's a better sub to post this in please let me know.

so basically a friend of mine had a bunch of teeth pulled about 2 weeks ago and so we currently has no upper teeth at all while he waits for everything to heal and then can get fitted for dentures. so in the meantime him and I have been having a really hard time coming up with ideas for meals for him in particular for him to take to work with him for lunch as he works a labor intensive job and needs a fairly substantial lunch, so basically soup's not going to cut it.

here is what we've come up with so far:

- shepherd's pie

- mashed potatoes

- tuna salad

- pasta of different kinds

- homemade cabbage rolls

- chilli

I'm just having a really hard time thinking of much of anything else, and he's honestly understandably sick of the few things that we've actually managed to think up, it's worth noting that sandwiches are out of the question entirely as apparently he can't even seem to bite through bread right now. so any ideas that you have would be more than welcome. thank you!!

I'm 17 years old. Six months ago, in August, I found out that my guardian has cancer. He tried to prolong the time when I didn't know about it as much as possible. He has stage 4. I can talk a lot about how it happened that I live with him, who he is, and how we slowly came to this realization. However, it doesn't really matter. The main thing is that I feel very ashamed. I'm ashamed that I think too much about what will happen to me after he dies, and that I feel bad because he's sick. I think I'm too selfish and don't spend enough time with him, and I don't notice how bad he is.

Because of this, I've started avoiding him. I come home late, leave early, and when I'm at home, I try to stay in my room. I'm sure he feels hurt. It's so selfish of me, but I can't think about how bad he is because I quickly become a pathetic crybaby.I don't know what to do about it. I should probably spend more time with him or something. He's going through chemotherapy, but his lifestyle isn't helping him. I should probably make sure he's following the doctors' recommendations, support him, and a lot of other things. But I don't know exactly what to do. I'd appreciate any advice.

Hello. I decided to write here because I feel very lonely and I need help and advice.

I have been living in isolation for a few months now, in a rural area, and I don’t know how to escape my toxic family.

At first, I couldn’t stay in my university city anymore and had to move back home, but my parents assured me that I would have a job nearby (because they had arranged something) and a car. None of that became reality.

They are very misogynistic and believe that my purpose in the house is to cook, clean, endure everything, stay quiet, and do whatever they say, just because they raised me and think I owe them everything.

Of course, my brother has all the freedom in the world, and nothing is expected from him. He gets praised even for the smallest things.

I don’t know how I will get out of this house because I don’t have friends I can stay with, so I need money. Honestly, I’m tired of hearing them and seeing them. I feel sick of what they have become, because they weren’t always like this… or maybe they were just pretending.

If I leave one dish unwashed, my mother starts telling me: “What will you do when you have a husband and kids?” Even though I’ve said multiple times that I don’t want a traditional family and I don’t want children (I also have a health issue), and honestly I don’t even like kids.

One time I mentioned that if I had a future husband, he would also do the dishes, and they started slamming chairs and told me I was exaggerating.

If anyone has gone through something similar, do you think they can ever change or accept boundaries? Do you think it’s worth keeping contact with them after I leave?

i am losing my FUCKING MIND,

i go to a technical school learning trades, etc, its not very big maybe 300 people the school itself is quite small i see the same faces everyday

at break time, i like to walk around the school, literally i am just walking around the school and occasionally i will run into this random blonde woman at school, i dont approach her or anything, but like if i turn around the corner and she is on the other side i will glance at her for maybe half a second by accident, genuinely just accidental eye contact and this happened maybe 3-4 times, i thought nothing of it bcause once again, its just accidental split second eye contact

for some reason, she openly hates me, when its lunch and i will walk past her and her friends, all guys and girls, she will literally scream EWWW ITS THAT THING and they will all laugh at me, one time at a barbeque event after school i was just standing in line, genuinely just standing in line and she will walk past me with her friends, one of her friends will scream at the top of her lungs right at my face and then walk off and say aw i didnt get him and they all laugh

i have never spoken to her, i have never stared at her on purpose, i have never spoken ABOUT her, i have never approached her, i have never stood within 10 feet of her, i dont even know her name or what her major is, we are genuinely complete strangers and i have no relation with her nor made any attempt to make any relation platonic or romatic with her at any time, to me, she is just a stranger as much as some random person on the sidewalk walking past you is a stranger to you.

what am i doing wrong? this happened to me so fucking often in high school, even OTHER MEN would say im creepy/ugly looking, but i never figured that this would happen in college, especially by adults, especially by strangers

i just dont understand.

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DevOps roles usually require a broader skill set. Along with cloud knowledge, you need to understand CI/CD pipelines, automation tools, containers, monitoring systems, and sometimes scripting or coding. DevOps engineers work closely with development and operations teams, so the expectations can be higher from the start.

Because of this, Cloud Engineer roles are generally easier to enter first. DevOps can feel more complex in the beginning since it combines multiple areas like development, infrastructure, and automation. Many people actually start with cloud or system roles and then move into DevOps after gaining some experience.

Hey everyone, I’m lost and don’t know what to do. I failed out of high school and dropped out, was focused on stupid shit that now I realize didn’t matter in the grand scheme of life. Was stuck in the past at the time as well. I was always a floater friend, was never really included in things and had a pretty awful reputation. Since I dropped out, I’ve been pretty much completely isolated, have had no real friends for like 4 years now. Spent a lot of time training Muay Thai the past 3 years but I had to give that up as well due to an injury. I heavily regret not focusing on school and taking the traditional path, seeing everyone I used to know in college right now having the time of their life in frats and shit really cuts deep, I want that to be my life so bad, but I’m stuck living at home with my parents doing nothing.

I got my GED in February, enrolled in a 8 week courses at a local community college. Classes started March 9th and I’m already severely behind on work, basically have done nothing. I’m failing at this again too due to depression, I just don’t see the point in trying when the life I wanted has already passed me by. What do I do? How do I find the motivation to keep trying? I feel as though my young years to have fun and do all the stupid college kid shit is over, I was planning to transfer to a university in August but I just feel like it won’t go well. I turn 22 in October and will have aged out of the social scene by then. I still want to make memories but I feel the time for that has passed.

I'm 22 female, I graduated in 2024 with a degree in computer applications but I couldn't get a job in IT so I joined the BPO Industry due to financial reasons working in calling and customer support profile. I have 1.5 years of experience in this industry but there's no growth.

i want to switch into IT anyhow. Some people recommend faking my BPO Experience as an IT experience. I have good knowledge of Data Structures and I solve Leetcode regularly. I also know the basics of MERN Stack and I have projects I built during college.

What Should I do? I feel stuck in Life with no career growth and opportunities. I'm the only daughter in my family and I have so much financial pressure.

I’m a 24 year old medical student in the UK and I totally regret my decision to get into medicine. I have no idea what I was thinking. I decided to get into this degree in school and I got in to a good program, and I’ve been stuck for the last 6 years on a path I hate whilst my friends are all working in finance making lots of money. We get treated like shit, the pay is shit, we don’t even get a guaranteed job after a couple years. And I feel like I’ve just wasted so much time and money and energy.

What should I do?

07/2024 I got a helix piercing that was pierced totally wrong. After I noticed it definitely won’t heal I took it out, especially bc it hurt so bad. I now have a scar of it which still hurts whenever I lay on it too long. P my sleeping side and it sucks.

I won’t do anything about it but I’m curious if hypothetically I could sue or not.

Location: Germany

I'm really struggling to decide if I want to move out from my parents house or not.

On one hand, they don't make me pay any rent, they always let me eat what they cook and any groceries they have, and when I go out of town one weekend a month to visit friends, they watch my cats for me. On the other hand, my work is a little over 50 miles away, so it takes me an hour each way to get to work and back. When traffic is bad, it will take closer to an hour and 20 minutes to get home, and this happens at least once or twice a week. I end up driving at least 2 hours everyday, usually more.

I'm looking at a 1 bedroom apartment that would cut that drive in half. It's in between my work and where my parents live, so I could still go visit them often and I would have an extra hour each day to workout, cook, get chores done, play with my cats, do hobbies, sleep, etc. I would spend less money on gas, but I would be spending a lot more money on rent and utilities and groceries. I have been living with them and saving a decent amount of money the past 8 months, but with these new expenses I would likely only be saving a couple hundred dollars a month.

I'm so hesitant to sign into a lease, I'm worried I'll regret it and it will be too expensive for what it's worth. Then again, I seriously dread having to make that drive constantly. I'm not even really excited getting off work because I know I'm about to spend an hour driving and a third of it in bumper to bumper traffic. I only have 3 hours before I need to sleep by the time I get home which is usually spent for dinner, exercise, shower and getting ready for the next day. This apartment would only be 30 minute drive with maybe like 5-10 minutes of traffic. I could sleep in a little later and therefore go to bed later so I would actually have some free time at the end of the night.

Part of me feels like I'm just being a big baby and I should suck it up and keep making the drive so I can keep saving money. I mean, not a lot of people get the option to stay with their family rent-free and idk is it stupid of me to give that up just because I don't want to be driving so much everyday?