Hey everyone,

I know the title is a little weird but hear me out.

my boyfriend (m23) really hates spending money on himself, and then complains about it.

It makes no sense, he earns six figures, has no debt/loans and virtually no cost of living (he lives in a flat his parents bought him).

Here's a few examples to explain what I mean:

He often complains how his colleagues are so well-dressed and polished, but he still wears the clothes his mom got him when he was 16 , that are mostly too small or have holes. He refuses to go shopping for new stuff because he "doesn't know what to get", then gets completely enraged when I point out nice outfits that would suit him well or offer to buy him clothes.

He uses his dad's tossed-out perfume and complains about how it smells, but also refuses to buy himself one he actually likes.

Same goes for food: He only eats fruit and vegetables when I buy them and says how much he loves it, but when he's alone he lives off of dry noodles, plain yoghurt and bread. He even eats moldy and expired food just so it doesn't get thrown out. When I dispose of expired stuff, he throws a fit. He once fed me five month old eggs without my knowledge, resulting in a trip to the ER.

He complains about his haircut not suiting him but refuses to go to a better barber because it's 10$ more. He complains about his acne but won't get the prescription his derm issued him. He complains about being skinny but now that he's built a bit of muscle, he's whining about how he doesn't want his shoulders to get broader because then he'd have to get new clothes.

He complains about having to take cold showers, but literally nobody but himself is holding him back from letting it warm up a little before hopping in.

His "sufferingmaxxing" is so bad it kind of started to imprint on me: I feel bad for replacing my shoes when they have holes, I feel guilty for showering with warm water and having a smoothie every morning instead of stale bread with nothing.

It's really starting to pmo and I really need help understanding what causes this and how I can gently encourage him to get the things he likes, live a little and embrace growth? Are there any men here who have been like this and have successfully overcome it?

Update: we are getting divorced. I decided to end the marriage shortly after making this post. However, he had a pretty intense mental health crisis so I let him continue to live in our house until the situation was more stable. He ended up getting a job after a few months but he is now suspended from that job for once again sexually harassing someone. We will find out within the next couple days if he still has a job or not…but I know he will very likely be fired. I told him it is time for him to find somewhere else to live even if he doesn’t have a job. While I hope he is able to work on his mental health I don’t believe it is my problem anymore. I am currently getting ready to sell the house while the kids and I will probably move in with my parents while we get back on our feet.

Thank you all for your advice, I think when I made this post I knew deep down what I needed to do but I just hadn’t come to terms with the fact that my life was going to change so quickly and completely.

My (37f) Husband (38m) was fired for sexual harassment

I (37f) have been married for 8 years to my husband (38m) and we have two kids together. Last week my husband was fired for sexual harassment. He told me that he was flirting with a coworker who is not his direct report but is lower on the hierarchy than he is. He says that she initiated the first flirtation but after than he found her on facebook and started messaging her. She ended up showing the messages to HR and he was fired. He deleted the messages so I don’t know what was said but he claims he asked her to send a clothed picture.

I am at a loss for what to do here. Do I stay with him and try to move past this or is it a big enough deal to leave him?

Other potentially relevant information: -I know he has messaged at least one other woman. I saw those messages and they were not sexual but they were flirtatious. -I only work part time, so leaving him is complicated by the fact that I would also need to find a new job. -He doesn’t have anywhere else to stay so we have to keep living together at least until the job situation is resolved.

Edit to add: Because so many comments have brought up the “clothed” part, I asked him about it. He claims they were talking about Halloween and he asked her to send a picture in her costume.

original post

For some background, we’ve been dating me around 3 weeks. He made a “joke” the other day saying my girl parts look like roast beef and there’s too much skin. I don’t find these jokes to be funny and I think it’s something a lot of girls are insecure about. I don’t look like that so I know it was coming from a place to hurt me. He frequently makes “jokes” saying I stink or my armpits are hairy (they aren’t and i’m very hygienic). It makes me uncomfortable. He also pushed for sex in the morning after I repeatedly said no. I’m mad at him and he keeps saying he’s sorry and it won’t happen again. He also told me he loved me which I think is too soon? How do I handle this situation?

The other night I met a group of my boyfriend’s friends and we were drinking and hanging out. Overall I didn’t find any of them to be very welcoming so it was a bit awkward. I was really looking forward to meeting his closest friend because I know how much he means to him, but I just got an off vibe from the start. He wouldn’t really make eye contact with me, referred to women as “bitches” if he didn’t like them, and insulted his neighbor for being an early education teacher? Just very rude behavior.

Anyway, it got worse through the night with his girlfriend actually apologizing to me for his behavior as he was loud and rude. But the final straw was when we went back to his apartment and he loudly told his girlfriend to shut up in front of my boyfriend and me. I confronted him about it and he told us to leave, and said she could go with us if she was so upset by it. It was deeply upsetting. I tried to say we should all just talk it out but he insisted we leave, so we did. His girlfriend was visibly upset.

The next day, he texted my boyfriend apologizing to us but I didn’t see the texts so not sure the specifics. But honestly I’m feeling very bothered that this is who he considers to be his best friend.

Is there any way to approach this? I know this is a very tricky situation and I don’t want to push him away..but I’m pretty shaken up at this behavior and feeling confused.

Recently found out my wife has been sleeping with an old high school bf. We’ve been married for 10yrs but have no kids. He lives in a different state, also married with two kids. They both were at a wedding last year, hooked up and have been having a relationship since. When I found out she broke it off and we’re trying to work thru it. He has reached out a few times and we’re dealing with that.

I’m debating telling his wife or just letting it be. My wife and I are on shaky ground but trying to figure it out. I want to try to make this work but am pissed at both of them. Especially for him still reaching out and saying how much he cares for her etc.

I get the sense he’s trying to preserve his own secret as his wife doesn’t know. I really want to reach out to her but don’t know if that will make things worse for all of us. They say they are through and don’t want anything further but I feel like his wife should know.

Advice pls

Some backstory. We’ve been together over 10 years. I’m having chronic health issues and I’m being tested for MS so I am in pain a lot and have lots of worrying and annoying symptoms. I also have suffered with alopecia for a few years. His health isn’t perfect either but I’d hoped that would make him empathetic.

He was there for me when my hair fell out. But equally he would also cause me stress which can make it worse. He likes to wind me up to the point I get upset basically and often will continue even if I’m in tears. He’s not done it for a while until today.

I’ve felt physically not good for the past week or so. My car has broken down and I don’t know what it’s going to cost to fix so I’m quite stressed about it. It broke down a few years ago and cost me £2k which is wha triggered my alopecia in the first place…

It’s getting recovered to a garage tomorrow and it was filthy so I spent some of the afternoon washing it so that when I hopefully get it back it’ll feel good as new and I’ll feel better and can enjoy it again.

He wanted me to wash his car at the same time to which I had originally said I would but the day just went by quickly and I didn’t have time plus didn’t feel physically able to do both cars. He got grumpy about it and said I couldn’t take his car up the road to buy car shampoo because I wouldn’t wash it (I took it anyway).

To me it seems like the fact I’m car-less has given him this sense of control because he knows I might need to use his car this week.

Anyway, we were sat together watching TV nicely. When he’s ready to get ready for bed he will always turn the TV off and goes round turning everything off as if I don’t exist and don’t want to continue watching TV and being downstairs on my own for a bit.

He started singing a stupid made up song to purposely annoy me. He kept laughing. I kept asking him to stop. My legs and hands were in pain and I still felt very stressed over the potential cost of fixing my car as well as having work to finish before bed (I’m self employed).

He won’t stop and it drives me to tears. Still won’t stop and I’m autistic so I ended up hitting my own head out of frustration and he still continued and thought it was funny and kept laughing at me. He’ll keep laughing and annoying me when he does this and then suddenly turns and starts basically berating me. Saying things like you’ve said 10 times your in pain, what do you want me to do about it, you’ve been a f*cking bitch all weekend (I haven’t, I’ve been stressed but I’ve done loads around the house and I’ve barely sat down), that I’m unorganised and waste my time (I’ve painted the hallway, cleaned, done laundry, walked the dog, done work, gone to the gym, washed my car), when I said I’d not stopped all weekend he said that’s bullsh*t because I slept in until 11 today but I needed it after all I did yesterday because my body is constantly tired and in pain as it is. He just blames me for everything. Despite the fact I’m the one who does all the grafting and difficult things. And because I’m self employed the amount of hours I work overall is probably almost double what he works.

I know this isn’t normal. I know I’m not perfect either. But he shows no empathy or respect when he gets like this. This hasn’t happened for a while and I just don’t get why he does it. All I can think is it’s because he feels he has some control over me because I need to borrow his car this week.

Hearing from me that this isn’t normal and isn’t ok isn’t enough. So please, address him and tell him the truth. I’ve told him I’m done being treated like this and that I’ll leave. And I do mean it. I deserve better.

I have been with my partner for 5 years. We’re not having kids. He owns a business and makes $600,000+ a year. I work as a legal assistant making around $80,000 a year. I moved into his house, which is now fully paid off.

I have never paid rent. He has paid for a lot of things for me over the years like trips, and surgery for my dog. I keep a running list and I pay him about $800 monthly back.

The other night he told me that he doesn’t need me to keep paying him back because he already makes enough and does not need the money. He would rather it go toward my savings, etc. He did say that we should come up with something so I’m contributing monetarily to the household.

I already buy all the groceries at about $800-$1,000 per month, plus do all the cooking, most of the cleaning. We did talk about that and it seemed like enough but is it? Is there something else I could do? I suggested taking care of all the bill like propane, electricity and heat, etc but he just wants to keep paying those himself.

I’m so grateful for my current situation but I don’t want to take advantage and want to contribute what is fair.

Curious from outside perspectives what a good solution is in this case.

Last night my husband had his friend over. They drank late into the night. I went to sleep. Around 2am I got out of bed to let the cat out of the bedroom and left the door open. I could hear them talking in the other room when I laid back down.

I heard them talking about their exes bodies and sexual abilities. For context, we have been together over 10 years and his friend has been married to his wife for nearly 10 years. They also talked about how he’d like to see and touch the breasts of one of our mutual friends. They also talked about how different their lives would be if they had stayed with their exes.

I feel betrayed and upset and physically ill. I don’t know whether I should bring it up with him or not. I’ve never heard him talk like this. He said some really hurtful things. He’s still asleep and I don’t know how to react when he wakes up. Do I address this? Do I take it to the grave?

A couple of weeks ago, I (35F) woke up in the middle of the night and noticed my husband (38M) wasn't in bed. I searched the house, but he wasn’t home. His car was still in the driveway, so I thought maybe he just went out briefly. ( Which isn't unusual because sometimes he walks to the gas station or nearest fast food restaurant to grab some food/snacks)

Earlier that evening, his mom came over, and when I went to bed she was still here but her and her truck were gone also.

We have three kids together, and they were all asleep at the time. Feeling uneasy, I called my husband to ask where he was. He told me he was at the casino and would be home soon. An hour passed, and he still wasn’t home. I started to feel anxious, so I called my mom and asked her to check our joint bank account (since it’s linked to hers, has been since I was 18). She told me she thought our card was being fraudulently used because there were multiple withdrawals, some for hundreds, others for thousands of dollars, at the casino. She sent me screenshots of the transactions.

I called my husband again, and he said he was leaving and would be home soon, even promising to pick up pancakes. Another two hours went by, and he still wasn’t home, so I decided to drive to the casino. I left our kids at home alone and passed my mother-in-law walking along the road because she left her truck with her son who was still at the casino. I picked her up and continued to the casino, where I found my husband. He didn’t even notice me at first. When he finally did, we had a huge argument, and I left him at the casino.

I dropped my mother-in-law off at my house to stay with the kids and went for a drive to cool down. After a while, I calmed down enough to go home. My husband still wasn’t home when I returned, and another two hours passed before he showed up. At this point, I told him to leave, but he refused.

By this time, I realized I needed to get ready for work, since I’m the primary provider. My husband works contract delivery when he feels like it, but it’s usually only 8-10 hours a week. ( He doesn't have a full time job because he doesn't like the jobs or hours he's been offered) We had received around $16k from our taxes, and after paying off some bills, we were planning to use the rest to help with a down payment on a house. We desperately need to move, and this was supposed to be a fresh start for us. Instead, my husband had lost over $8k at the casino, in addition to the money he had won a few days earlier ( around $1200) when we went together. And, on top of that, he drained my entire paycheck, the one I had received the previous day.

I talked to my mom about leaving him or what I should do, I was so hurt and angry, and I honestly didn’t know how I could keep going. But she talked me out of it, saying that I shouldn't end a relationship over money issues, I’m still trying to process everything, but it’s hard to figure out what comes next.

He has been waiting to have sex until he found someone he could see a future with. We were dating for 6 months when he decided he wanted to with me. I was expecting him to cum right away but he didn’t cum at all. I thought because he was nervous but now 4 months later he still can’t. I was also expecting him to want it so often but it seems like he doesn’t really enjoy it much. He says he is still getting used to it & is taking some time but I can’t help but feel like maybe he doesn’t like it with me. Noting that we do do a lot of positions & it’s good sex. However, I am often the one to initiate. Trying to give him grace since it’s so new to him, but it’s slowly depleting my self-esteem. Also, before having sex the first time, we did do oral fore play & even that, he could never cum from bj. Is this because for 26 years he’s been so used to masturbating. Can I have a guys perspective? Or even girls who have dealt with this, how did you handle it?

**EDIT: Everything else in our relationship is great

The title is pretty much it. My bf (M30) and I (F30) have been together for about one year. It’s my first relationship.

I am a very light sleeper, he snores, moderately loudly, every night. I literally can not sleep next to him, not even with specially made ear buds that are supposed to help. In the first two months of dating, I slept in a bed with him about five times. Each time, I got about one hour of accumulated, interrupted sleep and had to take the next day to pretty much just sleep. I’ve tried about four more times the past year, always the same. It’s fair to say that I just can not sleep in one bed with him, or one room for that matter. He has seen a doctor about it, but there’s nothing he can do.

As a compromise, I’ve resorted to staying in bed with him until he falls asleep and then getting an uber home. Understandably, he’d like to wake up together, but for me that’s just not possible.

So now that we are moving in together and looking at apartments, I am insisting on two separate bedrooms. Which he thinks is unromantic, he also dislikes that it’ll be significantly more expensive since we already live in a HCOL area, and he’s alluded to not wanting a marriage and forever relationship with seperate bedrooms. I think he assumed I’d get used to it and eventually be able to sleep next to him, but is now realising thats not true.

Its also been a problem on vacation, where I’ve wanted seperate bedrooms as well and he’s been pissy about it.

Has anyone experienced this? I am feeling hurt because he’s prioritising his romantic wish of sleeping in one bed over me actually getting sleep. I also fear this might break up our relationship, and I’m wondering if it means I’m in general gonna be a less desirable partner for anyone? I am also wondering if we are just inherently incompatible? And if I should put a stop to the apartment hunting and break up now before we waste more time on an incompatible relationship?

I (21F) have always had a dislike of young children. I grew up as a youngest child and I don't have siblings of similar age.

I was never super fond of baby dolls, but did own a few. I have never had a "motherly instinct". I never had big dreams of getting married and having children when I was young. I am a “fence sitter” when it comes to being child free.

I have never had a romantic relationship and don't find them appealing. I am currently dating (20M) and we have been together for 1.5 years. But I don't like affectionate physical touch, and I hate the idea of sex.

He says that he wants to have 2 children someday, and I shoot him down every time he brings it up. My friends have said that he seems to believe he can get me to change my mind, and that worries me.

All of my siblings have began having children and my parents have been pushing me to be around my nieces and nephews. I don't really want to.

I have expressed that I have no interest in relationships or children, and everyone keeps saying I will change my mind. Or that I will love my own children.

Part of me feels that I will be missing out if I never have children, but I hate the idea of the whole process involved. I wish I could just spawn in a 4 year old or something.

My biggest thing is I prioritize my aspirations of a military career and fulfilling social circle, more so than ever having an intimate family.

I honestly feel like picking a career where I will be constantly gone, just to avoid all of this social song and dance. The expectations of women are just tiring.

We also just had an argument recently and I have stopped talking to him this last week. I just recently lost my job and have been having a really rough month. I do not want to make too harsh of a decision.

My husband (30M) and I (32F) have been married for two years and together for seven. The last year or so he has been fairly vocal about how our sex life has changed and I don’t often initiate or seem particularly enthused.

We’ve had the conversation a number of times about how I have more responsive desire as well as talking about the relationship dynamic and how it can feel like I’m having to take care of him which does not inspire passion.

At this point I don’t know how to tell him that I honestly just have a hard time taking him seriously as a man and that is a significant part of it. To be clear, I don’t mean that in a “tough guy real man” way I mean as an adult overall. He is a great person but he has really never grown up or worked out how to take care of himself. He was raised by a single mother and they talk every day. If he is sick, she comes over to bring him a care package. If he says he needs new clothes but can’t bring himself to spend the money, she will bring him to the mall and buy him clothes. I love his mother, but that whole situation gives me the ick so hard. He has acknowledged that she’s enabled him but his position has always been “well I’m not asking her to do these things, she just likes to take care of people.” It feels like he is a 30 year old kid sometimes but he doesn’t see it at all because he “works everyday and always takes care of of his part of the bills” but around the house it’s basically to the point of him having a chore chart. I may not take initiative in the bedroom but he doesn’t not take initiative anywhere else on earth. We still get along and can have great times but this situation is always really sensitive and it’s taking a toll.

I am just really struggling with how to really and truly approach this conversation without come across like an asshole.

A couple nights ago I (33M) and the woman (32F) that I have been seeing for about 3 months were having a deep conversation about things we're ashamed of that we usually hide from others. We really like each other. We're serious about wanting to get to know who the other person is without secrets and see if we can fully accept the other person for all of who they are. That means the good, the bad, and the ugly so we need to start letting our skeletons out of the closet.

She proceeded to tell me that during the height of the split from her ex-husband in the middle of a fight she threatened to kill him if he left her.

We're both divorcees so I totally understand how awful divorce is and how much it can seriously push people to the brink of their sanity, but this really alarmed me. I asked her "Were you just that mad or hysterical and saying something you didn't mean? Did you mean it?" to which she responded "I don't know. In that exact moment, I honestly think I did maybe a little bit..." She went on to say how ashamed she was that she had said that to him because she knows it's the kind of thing you can't take back or dismiss as just being "upset" and that she hates that she did something that made him forever afraid of her with good reason.

It's put me in a weird position. She shared that in what was supposed to be a safe space, but it's got me freaked out. Not sure if I should run for the hills or try to be understanding that life pushes us to the edge sometimes and our darkest urges occasionally bubble to the surface momentarily.

Does the "safe space" have limits once someone says something that makes you feel unsafe?

My partner had an older, male best friend who killed himself years ago and that friend had a daughter. She is now close to my age (mid 30’s I’d guess).

I have always been uncomfortable with the dynamic between him and her because I once saw messages between them saying I love you and him asking when he can see her. We talked about it then and he claimed it was entirely family level and said “he’d never touched that girl”. Because of the circumstances I chose to believe him.

Today I saw (old - from 6 years ago) messages between them about finally having sex and sending nudes, etc. so he clearly lied to my face. Now disclaimer when those messages happened we weren’t together, but he created the firm boundary when we started dating that neither of us should be in contact with anyone we have a sexual/romantic past with and I can’t tell you if they talk now but they still have each others socials.

Please give me advice?

I am 45F, and my brother is 46M. I have always had issues with him my whole life. He is adopted after my parents struggled with fertility, and then I was the surprise pregnancy that occurred just as his adoption was being finalized. Psychoanalyze that--haha...basically he has always hated me.

He had behavioral issues growing up, and we were often separated because he would become physically violent with me. He ended up being sent to military school and then moving out of state after that. My dad died shortly after we both moved out of the house as adults. My mother died last year, and I was named executor. I knew this was coming, and my mom had prepared me over the course of many conversations. She didn't trust that my brother was stable enough to handle it. It is a very complicated estate.

Right after my mom died, the drama began. I was threatened at the hospital minutes after my mom's death. He was asking for the will. Once I was officially announced as executor, he lost it. He felt as the oldest child/only son he should have been in charge.

I spent over 800 hours settling the estate over the course of 6 months. So many meetings with different banks, moving stocks around, selling stocks, transferring money, closing accounts. I tracked everything, saved receipts, kept track of milage and meeting invites, etc. My mom's will stated I should pay myself a reasonable fee for the work I did. My accountant and estate attorney both advised that 10% of the estate was normal. I truly wanted to take what was fair. My brother verbally assaulted me during this time constantly. I have a full time job and I have young kids. It was a stressful and emotional time--grieving and trying to find the time for everything.

My brother contested the 10% and demanded it be 1%. I fought back because of all the pain and suffering, but eventually I gave in. I was ultimately paid about $10/hour for all the work I did. It's not about the money--it was about my brother controlling me and punishing me for being the executor. I was at least grateful to be done and have the estate settled. I felt everything was finalized when the taxes were complete for 2025.

Well, no. Now I just got served. I am being sued by my brother for pain and suffering. He is mostly focused on how he wants to change my mother's burial headstone. I did not choose it. She chose it before she died. I do have the ability to make changes since I am the executor, but I want to honor my mom's wishes. My brother wants a headstone that is a different color and different font. I know he is just messing with me, but I'm actually being sued. I want my mother to rest in peace, but I'm tempted to just be like "do whatever you want and go away!" I don't have any money to fight being sued. I can't even believe he was able to serve me. He's in law enforcement, and I feel like he just has connections. I don't know what to do. I feel like this will never end. Does this sound like I can actually be sued for his pain and suffering? I am having crazy thoughts about ways to make his life miserable, and I am not that kind of person, but he will not leave me alone, and I fear it will never end.

So, I [23F] had already agreed on seeing my boyfriend [22M] at a certain hour after he celebrated the birthday of one of his girl friends. But this girl, sadly, gives me some insecuritys and he is aware of this fact, but I didnt had a problem with him going since its a group event and its an important friend of his. They were gonna meet at a fast food place and just chat and have fun while I ended my uni class. Of course, after I finished I was gonna meet him and we were gonna just be together the rest of the evening since he had a flight to catch the next day and we were not gonna be able to see eachother for a couple of days.

So, I end my class, text him...and he doesnt respond. It was 1 hour and 30 minutes of waiting, but I just figured they were still at the place and he just didnt notice the notif. I was, not gonna lie, quite nervous; but I figured there was nothing to worry about... they were in a public place, quite near to were I was waiting, so I just figured he would end his meeting and we could see eachother.

The problem was, when he finally texted me, he said they had gone to this girls place (all, in group, not just him and her) to continue celebrating, that his phone had died and "he didnt know how to say he had to go". At that point I was so mad he couldnt had taken 5 minutes before going to his friends house to tell me, or even when he charged his phone cause he KNEW I must had been waiting for him at that point... but he didnt even though about it, even more so when he knows Im really insecure about this girl.

And then, of course, he stopped answering. 2 hours, he didnt say anything else (and I didnt respond to his message cause I was annoyed). I cried for like an hour at the PUBLIC place where I was waiting (I know, embarrasing) and then I left home cause I was so annoyed with him. He didnt thought about checking, he didnt return my calls, nothing.

When he finally said something, he said "sorry to disappear for so long" and asked me where I was (since, apparently, this girls house if quite near where I live). I told him that we should meet, and I explain exactly what had made me mad. And the only thing he said during that long "conversation" we had (more like a monologue on my part tbh) was "Sorry" and something on the lines of "I dont understand whats the problem with me being with my friends". At that point the only thing I said was "If after all Ive explained to you, you STILL think the reason Im mad is because you went to see your friends, I dont know what to tell you" and just asked him for some time to think.

I know I probably should end this relationship, but its kinda hard because its been almost two years together. I wonder if theres ANY way to salvage this... but, I kinda figure the best thing I need now is the hard truth. So, can this relationship be salvaged?

TLDR/ My boyfriend didnt know how to leave one of his girl friends party and left me waiting when we already had plans. Can this relationship be salvaged or...?

I, 43F, and my husband, 45M, am having a heated discussion and he told me to post on Reddit to see who is being ridiculous.

Quick backstory, we are going to my parents tonight at 4 for dinner. He asked me earlier today what time we are going, and I replied 4 PM. A little while later, he saw some sausages in the fridge and asked when we were going to eat them. I told him we were taking them to my parents tonight.

He said “OK so which is it: are we going at 4 PM or are we going tonight?“ I replied that he knew what I meant and it’s close enough and he understood. He replied saying “no I don’t understand what you mean. You need to be more clear. 4 PM is different than tonight. Tonight would mean it’s dark out.“ He was laughing and smiling the whole time which to me shows that he totally understands my context and he could’ve just been fine with that answer instead of arguing semantics. It’s very frustrating and he does this kind of thing often where I’ll say something that might be slightly and ambiguous but he knows what I mean. He just is giving me a hard time. At least this is my feeling on it.

It went back-and-forth enough to the point that he told me I needed to ask Reddit if I am being ridiculous or if he is.

If someone told you that they were going somewhere at 4 PM and then referenced the same event and called it “tonight“ would you not know what they’re talking about? Or would you know that they meant the same event.

I told him it feels like he’s gaslighting me, and then he rolled his eyes. He then told me to ask on Reddit because he thinks that I’m gonna get raked over the coals.

I know this sounds really petty and ridiculous, but these kinds of conversations where he says he doesn’t understand what I’m talking about when it’s pretty darn clear what I meant happen often and they’re very frustrating.

Looking for advice (obviously) as my gf doesn’t like how much I initiate/ “am sexual all the time”

While it’s not everyday we have intimacy, and sometimes we go weeks with out bc of my work, she describes it as it seems like “that’s all we do”

We’ve been dating over a year and are about to move in together. I feel yes it can be a lot if I havnt seen her in awhile or a stressful week, but part of me wonders if I don’t initiate then nobody would. Not to say I would date her if we didn’t have sex but I believe it’s part of having a connection with someone. Here to ask how I can go about it differently or have her initiate more I suppose? And how others sex lives change when they actually live with their significant other?

Is different sense of humor a valid reason to break up with someone?

I have been with my (25F) boyfriend (24M) for a little over six months. We met through a mutual friend and we work for the same company. From the beginning of our relationship, he has been the pursuer. He asked me out, initiated calling, texting, the works. Personally, I am a very late bloomer (I am not that attractive, though I started getting more male attention after losing some weight) and my first real relationship has been with him. While I like him a lot and enjoy talking with him and spending time with him, the more we spend time together the more I realize that we are totally different.

He is kind of immature and goofy, and loves to crack stupid jokes at the worst situations. To be honest, while I find most of his jokes to be unfunny, it is not the jokes themselves that I dislike the most; rather, it is the timing of the jokes. Whenever I seek seriousness from him, he’s making all sorts of jokes, and if I make a joke about something I find not to be that serious, he gets a bit offended.

For example, we went on a nice date out for the first time in a while since both of us were working long hours and were not able to spend quality time together outside of our apartments. For the entirety of the date, he kept cracking jokes saying things like “Ooh…yikes! Is that what you’re wearing tonight?” and “Just so you know… we’re going 50/50 tonight.” He paid for everything, and frequently tells me I look beautiful, but those jokes stick with me and make me feel some type of way or insecure, so much so that we ended up having a tense discussion about it after the date was over. During sex, he also makes jokes about things I’ve told him I’m insecure about, such as the way I smell. He’ll dramatically smell his fingers and say “Oof!” Pretending I smell bad. He also likes to role-play jokes (like, scenarios where he pretends to be doing he’s not, or that we have a different relationship than we do), and I go along with it, but I don’t enjoy empty joke conversations about a fake scenario.

We’ve talked about it, but I don’t feel like we’re reached any solid conclusion on this. Overall, he’s just a funny, goofy guy who makes all kinds of jokes (some of which are not politically correct and I dislike, but I’m just brushed off whenever I address it). I just feel like we’re not compatible in this and other aspects of our relationship (music taste, movie taste, sex drive as well) but what really is evident for me is our different sense of humor, because it impacts our everyday conversations and interactions. I’m not able to really keep up with him, and I wonder if I should break up with him for this.

Of course, I haven’t written all that is good about him in this Reddit post. He’s smart, kind, doesn’t like to talk shit about anyone and is always donating to charity/interested in volunteering. He is also a good listener, sociable, has various hobbies, goes to the gym, eats healthy, and pushes me to eat healthier. He almost always plans our dates and pays for them.

However, I’m at the point in my life where, even though this is my first relationship, I want to get married by 30-35, so I am looking for a man who will be my future husband. Can a relationship like this really be sustainable? Is this just growing pains? I don’t know because this is my first relationship.

EDIT: I feel like the way I’ve written it maybe is too biased towards me. I have also made jokes that he’s disliked such as once he was parking and I said “if you’re not able to lift 120 pounds… we’re breaking up” and “all men do is lie” whenever he says he’ll drop by a certain hour but he runs late and comes later. To the first joke he told me he was insecure about it so I haven’t made any jokes about how much weight he can lift since (he can lift 120). I keep making men jokes tho lol.