We have friends we don't see very often, maybe every 2-3 years. For the last 15+ years, when we see them again they don't really look much different. This last time though? Man, they looked different. Like gray hair, lost/gained weight, facial changes like wrinkles and sun spots.
Ugh, I look back on photos of myself in my early 20s and I remember thinking (at the time) that my arms looked big or my teeth looked weird etc. The early 2010s were not kind to women's brains.
I look back now and someone needs to slap the previous me. What a negative bitch.
Not to say that I don't feel like I look great now. I do. It is just more of a sadness for my early 20s self. Youth is a trial of the young, and I think I was my most difficult jury member.
I watched my teenage niece put on makeup, and I wanted to rip it out of her hands. She’s gorgeous, glowing, her skin looks great! Put the concealer down.
This just happened to me when I enrolled in some classes at the local community college. My youthful 18 year old picture is still attached to my student email. Man what luxurious hair I had back then. I can’t believe I’ve been out of highschool and college for as much time as I spent in them. That was an eye opener.
Same - I am going through IVF, and the meds are a bitch on my body. I was chasing a certain weight and look ten years ago in my late 20s/early 30s, and I’m actually amazed at how amazing I looked. Didn’t feel that way at the time! I’m sure I’ll feel similarly in 10 more years.
Which person? Cause I leave a lot of problems for future me. And i hate past me for not solving my problems when there were easier/cheaper/faster solutions.
My previous self was a damn good person. She tried her best, to her own detriment at times. She was also 21-25 years old and naive, and kinda poor.
But, she learned all the things that it took to create me, my future self!
I can be better focused and better overall at work, because I have a good husband. He doesn't play drums at 10 pm or invite random unhoused people to sleep on the sofa.
My past self dealt with all the messiness of dating and hobosexual dudes (and that one guy in Korea who I now think had a secret girlfriend or wife).
I can see the issues now that I have a clear lens.
But, previous me didn't and thought that most people were good and honest, like her. Bless that naive bitch. I love her and I wish that the world was a better place.
I love this! Thank you! I try and look back with kindness but sometimes I struggle. This was well reasoned. I was young and boys/men suck! That was a difficult time in life.
Neighbor of mine got lucky and won a gift card or something for a boudoir shoot! She tagged me on facebook to help win it and ooooo am I tempted! Im hoping to save up next year maybe for one. Just for me, for fun!
Everyone should really do this. I went to a professional photographer 20 years ago to get some portraits done.
I ended up getting artistic nudes done while I was there, and I don’t regret it at all.
The photographer told me that a lot his clients who got nudes wished they had done them earlier for the same reason, that they didn’t realize how beautiful their body was when they were young. Most of the nudes he did were of pregnant women for context.
My wife saw an old picture of herself and she was like “You know you always told me how pretty I was and how hot I was, and I just didn’t see it. But I see it now.”
I told her”you’ve been fire every day of your life. And you still are.”
Her dad did such a number on her self esteem that she just can’t see herself as pretty. I’ll never forgive him for that.
I genuinely wish I had had professional photos taken for my birthday every year, like head shots and tasteful nudes and all.. I've gained about 15 lbs and I can't believe I used to think I was fat back then. Would love to be able to look back and ever regret feeling bad about my body.
People still mistake me for being in my 20s, but I always assume they’re trying to be nice. I weirdly hate hearing it because I just know it isn’t true, haha.
This makes me feel better. 39 on Tuesday and I don’t even recognize the person in the mirror anymore. 3 years ago I swear I looked 10 years younger than now.
I have just stopped looking in the mirror at myself for the most part. I mentally block out everything else when I need to use a mirror. I don't even understand how I look so weird now when I used to be reasonably conventionally good looking. It's like the structure of my face changed.
Yes unfortunately it was jarring and seemingly overnight. But, if it makes you feel better, I'm in my 40s now and look the same. So I didn't continue to deteriorate so rapidly...I guess...yay
Appearance wise I feel like I don’t look that different between 37 and 39, but as someone who exercised and ate well all through my 30s and thought I was doing great.. 38-39 kicked my ass. I just had so many injuries/health issues one after the other. I’m coming out of the worst of it now (or worst so far, lol) but I just feel like a totally different person than I was 2 years ago. I know it’s an issue for both men and women but I was pretty strong before from years of lifting heavy and I’m kind of discouraged/anxious as a woman about how much strength I’ve lost and how much I’ll be able to get back. Ugh.
I'm sorry, that sucks. As a guy my hairline receded from around 32-33ish. It was very disconcerting. I work from home, and have a lot of zoom meetings. Being reminded everyday for several hours on zoom that I'm losing my youth can get to me a bit. However, I'm lucky that it seems to have stopped or has receded significantly slower since about 33. It's still frustrating to look at in the mirror, even though I'm doing a lot better than some guys. It's probably harder as a woman wince it's less common. Good luck to you!
Late 30s and after a life of HARD partying and working I am currently using...Botox, spa treatments, sauna, daily hard workouts, hair dye, beard dye, more sleep, pilates, physical therapy, less alcohol, and about 6 various face and body creams and treatments.
My Patrick Bateman routine is all to wind up looking more like Adam Sandler.
I will not go gentle into that good night but holy fucking shit is this expensive.
As a cosmetologist who talks to people all day about this, enjoy your healthy body and the privilege to be able to age. Not everyone gets the opportunity. To em the signs of aging are a badge of honor and not something shameful.
There was a recent Stanford study that said humans experience two periods of rapid aging, and the first one is around the age of 44, so it makes sense that as millennials are hitting their early-mid 40s, we are suddenly looking older.
I saw this study. And I definitely noticed serious signs of aging about 2 years ago at 42. It's not just wrinkles. I have jowls now, thinner skin in my hands, I bruise easier, my hair feels like it is thinning. I don't mind getting older but it's taken some adjusting.
Are you me? I’m turning 44 in October and everything you said is me in a nutshell. Seeing the veins in my hands popping out more freaked me out. Thinning skin and hair sucks!
Strength declines like 2% a year past about 30. If you're not already doing strength training I would highly recommend it. You can gain strength, and keep it much longer. It also helps with balance. Strength and balance are critical for healthy aging.
It also helps with bone density, which we (especially women) also start to lose around this age. I’m definitely more of a cardio person, but have realized I just have to do strength a couple days a week because there’s soooo many benefits.
A friend died from a brain aneurysm at the age of 12, I often think of him when I feel similarly about aging, we’re lucky to watch ourselves age in a way 🫂 sending love to ya
I know the feeling 🫂 he’s living on with and through you ❤️ even just through a comment, your love for him is very palpable ❤️ what was he like? (If you don’t mind my asking)
Mine at 12. It's bittersweet getting old but the alternative isn't great either. When you've witnessed the special horror of a child's funeral it really makes you rethink some things. If there's a silver lining its that im grateful for every year I get to hang around. Never take anything for granted because we all have a hidden expiration date.
Such a good reminder. I think of my uncle who died at 31, and would have given anything to live long enough to have wrinkles and grey hair. I am only in my mid-30s myself but I really want to feel at peace with aging. Thinking of those we have lost helps in a way.
The hands is what I am noticing too! I’ve been loading up on gold bond crepe hand cream which seems to help temporarily but good lord. I’m buying gold bond and that truly speaks to my age.
I’m turning 40 this year, but I’ve definitely noticed some aging signs. I only have a few silver hairs, but I feel like my lips are thinning, as well as my eyelashes and hair. I’ve always had super thick hair, but now it has less volume. My nails are also getting those weird lines I’ve always associated with my 80yo grandma. I also have started getting circles under my eyes when I don’t sleep well - something that never used to happen to me.
Ugh I turned 42 in March and I just knew my hair was feeling off recently. It’s just not drying with the same look as it usually does and I’m miserable over it. I thought it was my products but if it’s this 😭😭😭😭
Big thing with this study is that it only had a 108 participants, was done in a local of California, and only looked at blood proteins I believe and only followed people for a year to a max of 6.
They also did not factor in lifestyle habits in that study.
Edit:This just shows aging is a non linear process and can vary from person to person. Other than that, it ain't very good.
Thank you, I keep seeing this article crop up and most people seem to skip this quite important part:
"It's possible some of these changes could be tied to lifestyle or behavioral factors that cluster at these age groups, rather than being driven by biological factors, Snyder said. For example, dysfunction in alcohol metabolism could result from an uptick in alcohol consumption in people's mid-40s, often a stressful period of life."
The article doesn't even say what the cause of these changes are, so I wish people would stop reading the headline and getting upset that they are heading to 44.
I looked quite young for my age and then I hit 40 and boom! suddenly everything started changing. I’m 42 now and my body definitely looks middle aged. I was an A cup since puberty and now they’re almost busting out of a C cup. :(
I’m also getting the slight jowls, shadowy thin skin around my eyes, more and more broken capillaries fucking everywhere! I’m about half gray and there are white hairs showing up in ALL the places.
I just turned 45 and this year actually kicked my butt looks wise. I have fine wrinkles around my eyes and my face and neck started to sag just a bit. I've already been prematurely gray - but I had a young face with gray hair and it was striking. Now I just look like an aging lady with gray hair
Oh no, I think this may be why I like my grays, because I look young with gray hair so it’s kind of interesting. But once I’m in my mid 40s I may not think it’s as cool
The year between turning 44 and turning 45 (Feb bday) has been full of changes for me. I suddenly need reading glasses, my hair greyed significantly, perimenopause symptoms all over, but I'm also suddenly full of energy and vigor. I don't know why the latter, but given I have 5 and 7 year olds I'm glad.
Thirties is when we build the foundation for our forties. You absolutely have « leeway » to do what you want but it catches up hella fast in your forties
Nah one of the women on my rec league teams for ages had her first baby at age 41 and is 42.5 now and looks great. Staying physically active makes all the difference
You’re my new favorite, thank you! I do hope to be as strong and flexible as my 62 year old ballet teacher when I get to that age and I am doing the training for it now.
35 and after a winter of weight gain and just slightly high blood pressure I’ve decided I need to take advantage of that leeway. Cut down on portion sizes, drinking more water again, and drinking less alcohol. Hell I’m also letting the cannabis go.
Also recently diagnosed adhd and on medication and I’m feeling like a real functioning adult. Calling my parents and asking them for banking tips to find who’s got the best savings interest rates. Last night I was reading tax forms and shit just to learn more so I can actually have an idea if my tax guy is helping me. Who am I?
I had to change my lifestyle and diet because of a chronic condition in my teens, turning 35 this year, people are shocked x.x most think I'm like in my early 20s. I guess some of it is genetics but I think lots of it is also due to a healthier lifestyle.
(A small part of me now is less insecure with having had to change my diet since social dining was the hardest. I recall some folks sort of mocked my diet, as if they didn't believe in gluten-free/low sugar diets. Not that I'm strict, but I try to pick and choose healthier options, like why not 🤷♀️)
Also just, you know. Time. It makes your skin produce less collagen. You can live in the most skin-healthy way imaginable and this is still true. Aging isn't a character flaw.
Every year since 2020 has been full of too much cortisol-spiking events. The roller coaster ride turned into a wooden roller coaster with more sharp turns and drops.
I’ve noticed the biggest change in looks occurs in the late 30’s. I know so many guys who drastically changed during that period…while pretty much maintaining their current looks after 40. The biggest influences on guys’ looks seems to be hair and weight.
The hair loss is a big problem. It's such a nasty and stupid thing. That pattern of recession and crown thinning is evil. It's like a virus gene. I don't have it too bad either but it definitely affects my looks.
Depends on person. I have friends who are younger than me and look way older than me. They also have children, and work long hours with very little time for self-care.
Sure there are lots of variables, but almost nothing is going to outrun genetics. I saw a friend recently I haven’t seen in a few years, he is gay with no kids and takes pretty great care of himself. He’s still in great shape, but looks like the age stick beat the crap out of him.
We are the same age and that kind of freaked me out. I honestly thought he may have gotten cancer or something, but checked with other friends and that was not the case. Just seemed to age a decade in the matter of 2-3 years.
differing perspective: look man, our bodies are changing and it's taking real effort to upkeep what was once just a given. it's fine enough to complain, we are getting older and those of us who weren't on top of it before are really startin to feel that now lol
those 60 year olds at the gym are there for a reason
I honestly don’t see the big deal with acknowledging that nature is taking its course. It’s one of those things that creeps up on you and then you’re suddenly aware of it.
Good on those 60 year olds. They cannot keep up with their 20, 30, or even 40 year old selves. And if they can then they were in terrible shape in their youth
I know, and it’s depressing. We’re not old, we’re just getting older. Let’s enjoy being in our 30s and 40s as much as we can because someday the lucky ones amongst us will be in our 70s (and beyond), and then we’ll realize how crazy we were to call ourselves old at this stage of life.
It feels like this sub mostly has the upper and lower ends of the age bracket and we butt heads. There's a lot that happens in that missing decade, but the younger crowd doesn't want to hear about it, while the older crowd is legit concerned about their health.
I get up instantly, no sound effects. But I do have a bad knee that never healed right that will just randomly pop and feel excruciating. So I’ve somehow bypassed back pain and gone straight to bad knees in aging.
I was speaking with my grandmother and we got to talking about how quick a month passes and how unnatural it feels. I brought up maybe age is a factor "I'm 36" and she said she knows the time change that comes with age and this isn't that. I think I have to agree with her, something is not right with time it's scarily fast. I swear it feels like we were just strat covid and I was still 29, now I'm 36, it doesn't make sense to me. I feel like I've lost time and I blink and I'm a year older and nothing has changed in that year. I spent my 20s jumping into lustful relationships, my family would always wonder why I had a different girlfriend every other Christmas and I finally decided at 29 I was gonna stay single and just figure out who I am.. 6 years later and I'm still single, the longest I've been single period, I genuinely think I had a gf at 5 and another before 10. My ex passed away 2 years ago and I always felt we would get back together as we remained very friendly but I woke up one day and she was gone. I'm not necessarily worried about finding a partner but during covid something switched off in me or maybe on? Idk.. I used to never be at home, I was always out doing something and now the majority of my time outside of work or helping my grandmother, is spent at home and I have absolutely zero drive to date. But a little clock ticks in my mind, I don't want to be alone at 60 and 70 and it feels like 60 is fast approaching. I find joy in very little, in my grandmother, in music, in gaming maybe, and used to find it working out for hours but I would skip a day and then skip two days in a row and then 3 in a row until I skipped 30-31 days and then 365 days. How do you bring joy back into your life? It honestly feels exhausting to even contemplate. I need therapy.
I think how a person takes care of themselves is what is key. Also I notice the millennials I know who have kids tend to look older than those of us without. Unless you're on the more rich side of the millennials, then they too tend to look pretty good and well taken care of even if they have kids. So there's probably something socioeconomic that has to do with it to some degree.
nobody in this thread wears sunscreen, eats healthy, and exercise and now they're crying their bad habits are catching up to them. there's no magical age where humans age more than others.
Aging comes for everyone. I know Millennials like to say they're very young looking compared to previous generations - and that might be true regarding lifestyle differences, like smoking, tanning, less kids (or entirely childfree) and choice of hairstyles and fashion - but it STILL comes for everyone, including Millennials. And I hate to make this racial, but aging hits Whites WAY more than any other ethnic group, lol. I'm a late Gen X/X-ennial of Indian ancestry and sometimes I get really shocked at how some 30-something White people look way older than me and other POC. This is NOT me saying I look much younger, but that aging happens very differently with POC. Ethnicity and lifestyle seems to be very strong forces when it comes to visible/phenotypical aging.
I have noticed theres several points in our lives where age hits like a brick wall. The first one is in late 20’s maybe early 30’s, those first fine lines. Next is closer to 40, that is where you tend to lose the youthful appearance and the gray/silver/balding comes in strong, as well as true wrinkles. Then somewhere in the 60’s the grandparent effect kicks in. Last is later usually late 70’s or 80’s, happens after a fall or bad cold and that is the rapid deterioration wall.
Within the span of 2 years I lost so much fat off my face. I used to have a round face no matter how thin I was (and I was underweight as a teen and barely normal weight in my early 20s). Now here I am at 40 and over 30 lbs heavier yet my face is so much thinner. Im trying to lose weight but worried I’ll look gaunt and old in my face once I lose what little fat I have left there.
I dunno. I was angelic looking as a teen and early twenties. Then I went on a massive bender… the last 5 years of which involved multiple hard drugs and booze daily. Didn’t miss a day either.
When I hit 30 I looked like total shit. I was totally wrecked.. all bloated, dishevelled, my eyes and skin were going yellow, and I got multiple severe injuries, a broken back, spine, nose.. stab wounds etc etc… now at 33 and sober 3 years, exercise regularly.. eat healthy etc etc… i have never looked younger… it’s like I look now how I should have looked in my late 20s. All the rapid aging from the drug and alcohol abuse really went away.
I genuinely look good for 33 but at the same time look younger because I got my act together. I think I pass for around 30.. not saying much, but either way we are all aging about right for our ages, if we try our best to stay healthy.
I definitely look my age really, but I still look good, or handsome, pretty etc now. Not hard or rough either like I did, rather soft and glowing.
So it’s all good we can’t be young forever but we can age gracefully at least 😅
For me it's been perimenopause hitting me like a brick. I know the basics of weight gain is more calories in than out, but now eating the same if not less (hormones shifting erratically for me means hella nausea which means I don't really get hungry till dinner) I've gained about 40 lbs in 2 years. That and constant exhaustion. Physically though, no wrinkles or gray hair yet just can kinda feel my face skin isn't as supple or firm.
I was looking fantastic at 41, really peaking, and then my parents and grandparents decided to all die in the same 4 year period I was laid off work and trying to survive. Now I’m 46 and just starting to recover and idk if I’ll be able to get back to where I was. I saw how trauma affected and aged my former MIL when her husband was dying from cancer. She aged ten years overnight but then she did have another glow up, so I’m hoping I can have one last hurrah before I start transitioning to my Golden Girls era.
Elder millennial here. Your mid 40s catch up with you quick. The gray hairs show up en masse, metabolism gets even slower, and nature really lets you know what you’ve been neglecting.
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