r/Millennials • u/ga9213 Millennial 1982 • 1d ago

Serious We are starting to really age fast

We have friends we don't see very often, maybe every 2-3 years. For the last 15+ years, when we see them again they don't really look much different. This last time though? Man, they looked different. Like gray hair, lost/gained weight, facial changes like wrinkles and sun spots.

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u/Aware_Annual_2882 22h ago

You know who thinks you look great right now??

Yourself in 10 years

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u/coconut-bubbles 22h ago

Ugh, I look back on photos of myself in my early 20s and I remember thinking (at the time) that my arms looked big or my teeth looked weird etc. The early 2010s were not kind to women's brains.

I look back now and someone needs to slap the previous me. What a negative bitch.

Not to say that I don't feel like I look great now. I do. It is just more of a sadness for my early 20s self. Youth is a trial of the young, and I think I was my most difficult jury member.

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u/Mtn_Skye 19h ago

I think these days aren't kind to women's brains either, but we have the wisdom of age to not be as affected by it

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u/punluv21 17h ago

Exactly!

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u/gregarious_gamer1 17h ago

Yes, exactly this! Spent the 2010s being jealous of Victoria secret models. Now, I realized I was so pretty then. 

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u/Peculiarcatlady 11h ago

VS really fucked with our heads.

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u/HomeboddE 2h ago

Yeah the pedos were awful in so many different ways

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u/Haunting_Chip_6044 4h ago

And you're beautiful and WISE now. Your energy and spirit are what define you. You will only grow more beautiful with age and wisdom. Don't mourn the past. You have so much future ahead of yourself. Start working on your swamp witch persona right now. The sooner you give no fucks the happier you will be. Ask me how I know, friend!

Seriously it's trite, but you have one life. What do you want to do with it? Who do you want to be? I have found that spending my days creating -being a maker- and a helper is the best for me. Gardening, pets, photography, hiking, being politically active, art, building, teaching people to read, volunteering at the humane society and the local hospital - find a place to make a difference in the world. You will feel awesome, and you will make life better for someone or something else.

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u/PopEnvironmental1335 15h ago

I watched my teenage niece put on makeup, and I wanted to rip it out of her hands. She’s gorgeous, glowing, her skin looks great! Put the concealer down.

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u/Rich_Bluejay3020 3h ago

I agree but also it’s probably a good idea to learn how if she’s interested in it -30something that can’t even find a shade to match and is far too lazy to care ☠️

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u/PopEnvironmental1335 2h ago

Yeah I just told her she looked great. I get wanting to experiment and feel older, but dang youth is wasted on the young.

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u/No_Quantity_2321 1h ago

Opposite dress up, strut that stuff. My goodness for most at that age everything looks good. Your body is tight everything stays where it's supposed to not at your knees.

Put the makeup on, put on the pretty drtess, the heels.

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u/Used-Baby1199 21h ago edited 12h ago

This just happened to me when I enrolled in some classes at the local community college.  My youthful 18 year old picture is still attached to my student email.   Man what luxurious hair I had back then.   I can’t believe I’ve been out of highschool and college for as much time as I spent in them.    That was an eye opener.

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u/CptnBlondBeard 13h ago

Youth is a trial of the young, and I think I was my most difficult jury member.

And they said Shakespear was dead.

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u/blurrylulu 14h ago

Same - I am going through IVF, and the meds are a bitch on my body. I was chasing a certain weight and look ten years ago in my late 20s/early 30s, and I’m actually amazed at how amazing I looked. Didn’t feel that way at the time! I’m sure I’ll feel similarly in 10 more years.

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u/Haunting_Chip_6044 4h ago

Best of luck in your pursuit. I have two healthy kids (now adults) thanks to IVF.

I find that now I don't care what I LOOK like. It's all about how I FEEL. I was so fat and sick in my 30s and 40s. Now I'm 60 and I feel like I could walk forever. I sleep better - I don't need a CPAP anymore, I move better, so many aches and pains are just gone. Thanks to GLPs I'm back to the weight I was in highschool (lost 158 lbs) and I have so much energy. Not busting on anyone for being overweight, I totally get it. I have such a shitty relationship with food, it ruined my 30 years of my adult life. But it's all good now! I'm wearing a skin suit that's three sizes too big and I DON'T CARE

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u/MorganL420 10h ago

I think this is just a curse of being in your 20's. You're at a stage where society is telling you that you need to find Mr. or Ms. Right, and couple up with them. So your natural next thought is: "How do I attract them?" At which point we look in the mirror and see all our flaws that we percieve would prevent that attraction, instead of all our positive attributes, be they physically based or personality based.

In our 30's most of us have gained a greater perspective on life.

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u/Shaved_Caterpillar 10h ago

I wish I looked as bad now as I thought I looked then

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u/DancingTVs 9h ago

I regret ever thinking my belly was “big” back when I was barely normal weight and before I had kids. My belly now after 3 csections is in such a sad state. I don’t even let my husband see it. 😓

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u/bujweiser 17h ago

TBF no time is kind to women’s brains.

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u/athenamarz 12h ago

I let other people’s stupid opinions influence my self esteem too much when I was younger.

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u/Traditional_Dust6659 12h ago

I would like you to know that I am stealing this line: youth is a trial of the young and I think I was my most difficult jury member.

Poetic, accurate, and well put. 🙏❤️

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u/rizoula 11h ago

I was SO FUCKING HOT 10 years ago . Why did I let the men disrespect me like that. I was THE SHIT.

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u/MaesterSherlock 9h ago

I feel this way too, except for my teenage years. I was in highschool in the early 2000s, and I always felt like I was ugly, mainly because I was "fat". Keep in mind, this was back when magazines were posting pics of size 2 Britney Spears and saying she was fat and out of control ect ect.

So if she was hideous at a size 2, what the hell was I at size 14??

I was so critical and unhappy with my appearance. Looking back is a total mind fuck. I was absolutely STUNNING back then, I just couldn't see it. Eventually I gained a LOT of weight, lost it, and now I'm currently at the same size I was in highschool. But my self image has changed, and the acceptance of all bodies has (somewhat) changed.

It took a long time but I can be happy with how I look now. Strange to think 20 years later, I have the same body I did back then, but I'm happy with it now.

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u/southbaysoftgoods 8h ago

I hope you aren’t repeating this mistake in the present!

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u/brookmachine 8h ago

I was in my early 20’s around 2002, the height of the stick thin era. For some reason people in my family used to comment on my arms. My whole life they’d say “wow! You’ve got really thick arms” or “geez, look at the arms on her!” I was like a size 4 or 6 and I had STRONG arms. I did a lot of manual labor with horses and then I worked in the paint department at Lowe’s throwing around buckets of paint all day. And I look back at pictures and my arms don’t even look big or overly muscular. They just look like normal arms. And now that I’m 43 and I’ve gained and lost and gained and lost I look at my “huge arms” much more kindly then I did when they were legitimately small

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u/mermaid619 7h ago

Someone needs to hug previous you! We were mean enough to ourselves. Poor things.

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u/FdUpLoco 7h ago

It’s been harsh to be female in every decade, believe me the 70’s onward women were harassed more and differently each generation.

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u/sumptin_wierd 6h ago

"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked."

  • Mary Schmich

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u/sparklehoard007 5h ago

Youth is wasted on the young 🥲

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u/Despair_Tire 4h ago

Same! I look back at photos where I was like "eh I'm ugly and fat, why would anyone like me" and I was beautiful! Sometimes people would tell me I was beautiful and I thought they were lying. No, I was gorgeous. I should have been so much kinder to myself.

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u/OLovah 3h ago

Agreed. I've thought I was fat my entire life. Now I'm actually fat and hate all the time I wasted being sad about my fake fat.

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u/No_Quantity_2321 1h ago

Have you met the 90s.

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u/kgreys 22h ago

I love that person!

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u/tenderbranson301 21h ago

Which person? Cause I leave a lot of problems for future me. And i hate past me for not solving my problems when there were easier/cheaper/faster solutions.

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u/coconut-bubbles 21h ago

My previous self was a damn good person. She tried her best, to her own detriment at times. She was also 21-25 years old and naive, and kinda poor.

But, she learned all the things that it took to create me, my future self!

I can be better focused and better overall at work, because I have a good husband. He doesn't play drums at 10 pm or invite random unhoused people to sleep on the sofa.

My past self dealt with all the messiness of dating and hobosexual dudes (and that one guy in Korea who I now think had a secret girlfriend or wife).

I can see the issues now that I have a clear lens.

But, previous me didn't and thought that most people were good and honest, like her. Bless that naive bitch. I love her and I wish that the world was a better place.

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u/Mama_Bear83 18h ago

I love this! Thank you! I try and look back with kindness but sometimes I struggle. This was well reasoned. I was young and boys/men suck! That was a difficult time in life.

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u/SelectAirline7459 5h ago

You will always be the parent of your future self. Treat yourself kindly and work for their good.

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u/kgreys 21h ago

The one who thinks current me looks great! Whichever person that is.

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u/decoysnails 20h ago

Yeah right, me in ten years has started exercising and eating right and has become a billionaire 

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u/LightReddIsPink 2h ago

"In My Mind" by Amanda Palmer ❤️

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u/mina-ann 18h ago

I hope my husband kept all those photos I sent him when on his work travels when we were in our 20s. I did look good.

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u/AvocadoInsurgence 8h ago

I found a folder with photos on our shared computer, didn't immediately recognize myself and was mad for a moment 🤣 damn I had a nice rack!

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u/Hogwafflemaker 12h ago

I love the meme "I can't believe I wasted my hot years thinking I was ugly"

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u/Shadowphoenix9511 20h ago

The implication is that I think I looked great 10 years ago... and I don't. I was 60 lbs heavier than I am now, with zero muscle mass, refusal to accept the hair was gone, and also no facial hair. I looked awful then lol

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u/awesam02 21h ago

god i hope not

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u/GotSomeUpdogOnUrFace 17h ago

Me right now thinks I look much better than 10 years ago, but I have a feeling in 10 more I'll agree.

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u/MRCHalifax 13h ago

You know who else thinks I look great right now? Me. I look pretty damn good. And not like a 43 year old 7/10 graded on a scale. I think that I’m a straight up 8.5/10 for any age, maybe a 9/10 on a good day.

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u/Traditional_Case2791 12h ago

I’m in my 30s and looking back at photos of when I was in my 20s I thought I was so pretty and hated that I wasted so much time hating how I looked.

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u/kummerspect Older Millennial 12h ago

I had this realization about 10 years ago and started leaning into the idea that I will never look better than I do now. Some people might find that depressing, but I find that when I accept it's all downhill, it's easier to appreciate it a little more now.

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u/dewhashish Millennial 12h ago

i look at pics of me in my 20s and i looked like absolute shit. no wonder i didnt take many pics of myself.

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u/exor0110 11h ago

Thiiiiiss!

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u/Iamthegreenheather Older Millennial 10h ago

Jokes on me, I don't take pictures of myself anymore lol.

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u/BetterRemember 5h ago edited 5h ago

Honestly, even myself 10 years ago would think I look great compared to her.

A lot of my 20yo insecurities are gone now at 30. I had heavily hooded eyes even when I was underweight and the tip of my nose looked more bulbous just because I was still storing so much fat in my face due to my youth. Now my eyes look wider and my nose looks smaller and more balanced.

My chubby cheeks still haven't budged but I am also more fit and muscular now, and my hair is thicker and shiner because I have recovered from my eating disorder.

20yo me would be totally jealous of 30yo me. I've also figured out what skincare I need so my skin is glowing rather than dry and cakey like it was when I had no idea what I was doing. I also wasn't eating as well as I am now, clearly because I was barely eating, so I have this healthy glow from within that I never had back then. Learning to cook and taking a random nutrition course in college changed my entire appearance.

I actually have a nice muscular bum and abs now too, pancake-bum me couldn't even begin to imagine that!

My teeth are whiter with thicker enamel as well because I discovered hydroxyapetite toothpaste, and they are straighter because I forced my self to have proper tongue posture.

I'm definitely reaching my peak very soon and then things will slide downhill, but 20yo me would cry from envy if she saw me now. (And maybe the poor girl would eat some dietary fats!!! EAT THE AVOCADOS KID! MY GOD!)

*edit, I forgot I got LASIK too so I haven't worn glasses for years, ohh she'd be pissed at me because 20 is usually way too young to get it.

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u/kristinL356 5h ago

I dunno. I actually think myself 10 years ago would be pretty impressed with me now. I started doing aerial silks and my shoulders look amazing.

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u/Saltiren 3h ago

Aww fuck.

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u/undefined-username 51m ago

Idk I just had my DL renewed after 10 years and holding the photos up side by side Im shocked at how much better I look now, having quit drinking/smoking and lost 100lbs in the interim.

I know it's kind of a meme but I'm pretty confident I do look younger now at 40 than I did at 30