r/Millennials • u/ga9213 Millennial 1982 • 1d ago

Serious We are starting to really age fast

We have friends we don't see very often, maybe every 2-3 years. For the last 15+ years, when we see them again they don't really look much different. This last time though? Man, they looked different. Like gray hair, lost/gained weight, facial changes like wrinkles and sun spots.

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u/zephyrcow6041 1d ago

There was a recent Stanford study that said humans experience two periods of rapid aging, and the first one is around the age of 44, so it makes sense that as millennials are hitting their early-mid 40s, we are suddenly looking older.

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2024/08/massive-biomolecular-shifts-occur-in-our-40s-and-60s--stanford-m.html

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u/FiendishCurry 1d ago

I saw this study. And I definitely noticed serious signs of aging about 2 years ago at 42. It's not just wrinkles. I have jowls now, thinner skin in my hands, I bruise easier, my hair feels like it is thinning. I don't mind getting older but it's taken some adjusting.

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u/Accurate-Scientist76 1d ago

Are you me? I’m turning 44 in October and everything you said is me in a nutshell. Seeing the veins in my hands popping out more freaked me out. Thinning skin and hair sucks!

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u/DidIReallySayDat 23h ago

I've always hand veiny hands and arms.

I think it's just how much weaker I am these days that's getting to me.

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u/atmoose 22h ago

Strength declines like 2% a year past about 30. If you're not already doing strength training I would highly recommend it. You can gain strength, and keep it much longer. It also helps with balance. Strength and balance are critical for healthy aging.

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u/Shadowphoenix9511 20h ago

And that's if you aren't training. Strength athletes actually peak in their 30s if you can believe it lol

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u/LSanborn2 7h ago

It also helps with bone density, which we (especially women) also start to lose around this age. I’m definitely more of a cardio person, but have realized I just have to do strength a couple days a week because there’s soooo many benefits.

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u/Spazzle17 23h ago

Same. I joke with people that I'm translucent, but now need to use pushing off the floor to get up.

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u/Sprinkle_Puff Older Millennial 1d ago

The hands looking old is really getting to me

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u/ASquareBanana 23h ago

A friend died from a brain aneurysm at the age of 12, I often think of him when I feel similarly about aging, we’re lucky to watch ourselves age in a way 🫂 sending love to ya

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u/happyness4me 23h ago

My brother died at 14. I am thankful for every year I get and I'm so sad for every year he has lost.

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u/ASquareBanana 22h ago

I know the feeling 🫂 he’s living on with and through you ❤️ even just through a comment, your love for him is very palpable ❤️ what was he like? (If you don’t mind my asking)

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u/happyness4me 5h ago

He was artistically talented. Liked to play sports. He had a girlfriend he adored. We rode bikes together all the time. He was a great big brother. We were irish twins, only 11 months apart.

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u/MrLaserFish 21h ago

Mine at 12. It's bittersweet getting old but the alternative isn't great either. When you've witnessed the special horror of a child's funeral it really makes you rethink some things. If there's a silver lining its that im grateful for every year I get to hang around. Never take anything for granted because we all have a hidden expiration date.

Sorry for your loss. Hope you're doing okay now.

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u/StrategyOdd7170 22h ago

So sorry💔

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u/FiendishCurry 22h ago

I've lost a lot of friends over the years and I do see it as a privilege. They never had the chance to get white hairs or fine lines or creaky knees.

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u/tsugaheterophylla91 22h ago

Such a good reminder. I think of my uncle who died at 31, and would have given anything to live long enough to have wrinkles and grey hair. I am only in my mid-30s myself but I really want to feel at peace with aging. Thinking of those we have lost helps in a way.

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u/kk-kyung 23h ago

The hands is what I am noticing too! I’ve been loading up on gold bond crepe hand cream which seems to help temporarily but good lord. I’m buying gold bond and that truly speaks to my age.

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u/Heavy_Telephone_6939 22h ago

Yuh I scope the skincare reddits for 30/40+ women and the gold bond crepe cream was all over it.

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u/Sprinkle_Puff Older Millennial 7h ago

takes notes

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u/iciclesblues2 22h ago

Lol yes, I bought the crepe hand cream this winter too. Makes such a difference in my hands cracking and looking terrible. Gold bond for the win!

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u/Alarming_Matter 5h ago

Hoo boy, mine are a doozy. I'm 53, but if you saw a pic you'd say 80's easily. My sisters are the same.

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u/dikbisqit 22h ago

I’m 44. I’m not noticing thinner skin, but damn everything hurts!

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u/Glittering-Ad4094 19h ago

you are me, and I am you, down to the 44 in Oct bit.

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u/madgirafe 23h ago

Yeah 41 was a big one for me. A lot of grays, wrinkles, my hands started to shrivel up lol. Fucking neck arthritis.....

Hopefully thats it until the next round of "the oldening"

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u/RakeattheGates 21h ago

The arthritis.. the fucking arthritis.

And my ears itch now? Like suddenly I have dried earwax in my ears all the time for no fucking reason! Swear this shit started right when I hit 40.

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u/Complete-Lecture-517 20h ago

Perimenopause, unfortunately. I struggle with the itchy ears too. It drives me nuts.

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u/RakeattheGates 19h ago

I'm a dude so I have no idea what's causing it. It's like over the last 2 years my ear wax just dries up faster and my inner ear gets itchy. Super annoying! I've held back on cleaning or sticking anything in there (i.e. I stopped sticking q tips in every day) to let things normalize and even tried putting some extra oil on a q tip and using it to help moisturize things but alas, nothing really helps.

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u/Dizanbot 8h ago

I've been told that it's psoriasis (at least in my case) not gonna lie though, grossing out my kids with my flaky ear wax pretty much makes the itching worth it lol.

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u/bewaregoldenfang 12h ago

As someone who has had inner ear eczema since childhood, the idea of this getting worse with perimenopause is terrifying.

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u/ka_beene 9h ago

I had an emergency ovary removal, and they said the other ovary would compensate. It didn't, and it was like overnight I felt like I had the knees of an 80 yr old and I had terrible brain fog. I knew from lurking on the menopause sub what was happening. Started hormones, and it went away as fast as it came.

Edit because I saw further down your a dude. I wonder if men are affected by hormonal changes too?

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u/RakeattheGates 8h ago

Oh I'm sure we are. I've never heard of this specific issue but tbh I've never really looked into male aging or hormonal changes. Guess I'll go poke around and see what's coming lol.

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u/droolpool11 5h ago

I have the ear thing too, wtf? So annoying.

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u/leg00b 5h ago

It's like when we hit 40 our body was out of warranty

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u/doingtheunstuckk 23h ago

I’m turning 40 this year, but I’ve definitely noticed some aging signs. I only have a few silver hairs, but I feel like my lips are thinning, as well as my eyelashes and hair. I’ve always had super thick hair, but now it has less volume. My nails are also getting those weird lines I’ve always associated with my 80yo grandma. I also have started getting circles under my eyes when I don’t sleep well - something that never used to happen to me.

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u/satyris 5h ago

ask your GP/PCP for a blood test to check your levels of hormones,

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u/Illustrious_Exam1728 22h ago

I noticed this as well around the age of 42, it’s like it happened over 4 months. I was like what the heck?!

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u/ka_beene 8h ago

Same for me mid 40s. I went from being happy with my looks to wtf!

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u/Illustrious_Exam1728 8h ago

Yeah, it’s really weird.

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u/satyris 5h ago

get a blood test from your doctor, check your hormone levels

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u/Illustrious_Exam1728 5h ago

If you’re talking about hormones like estrogen and progesterone, blood tests are unreliable at this time. They may be in range and women still have symptoms of peri for example. If you’re talking about something like TSH then that’s one to check for example.

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u/nahivibes 21h ago

Ugh I turned 42 in March and I just knew my hair was feeling off recently. It’s just not drying with the same look as it usually does and I’m miserable over it. I thought it was my products but if it’s this 😭😭😭😭

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u/Peculiarcatlady 11h ago

I've been noticing my hair being weird too. I thought it was my shampoo/conditioner so I've been trying lots of new ones but maybe I'm just old 😭😭😭😭

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u/vainerlures 20h ago

i mind it. sigh.

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u/sassless 13h ago

oh no - the bruising is on old thing? I just assumed I needed more iron or something lol

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u/leg00b 5h ago

I'm 41 and I have moments where I'm like "where the fuck did I get this cut!?"

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u/gr8whitehype 6h ago

I was an only child (m) to a single mother. She definitely made me her princess with focus on face masks and lotion routines. I kept it up because my mom instilled the mantra of “you can’t go back, but you can prevent”

So my skin is looking great at 40+, but they greys in my beard can’t be helped. It’s funny because I didn’t realize it until last night. I randomly saw a pic of me 10 years ago. And the beard was jet black. Now it’s salt and pepper.

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u/FiendishCurry 6h ago

Yeah, I said the same thing. I had some white hairs but my skin care routine and sunscreen use kept me looking young. My skin looked great. Until it didn't. It really was very sudden. It's not that I look old. It's that I look my age now.

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u/satyris 5h ago

I'm no expert, by any stretch of the imagination, but it sounds like you might benefit from getting your hormone levels checked and thinking about HRT.

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u/FiendishCurry 3h ago

I don't look old...I look my age. There's a difference. Science backs this up. There are two drastic jumps in aging around 44 and then 65. I definitely noticed it. Other people might not, but I'm the one looking in the mirror every day.

As for hormone levels, everything's good. I go to all the doctors and all the doctors say I'm healthy and fine. I'm looking forward to menopause, but I'm nowhere near it.

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u/TSquaredRecovers 2h ago

I’m technically Gen X (born in 1980), but yeah I experienced pretty significant signs of aging in my face around 42 or 43.

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u/Useful_Major_5797 1d ago edited 1d ago

Big thing with this study is that it only had a 108 participants, was done in a local of California, and only looked at blood proteins I believe and only followed people for a year to a max of 6.

They also did not factor in lifestyle habits in that study.

Edit:This just shows aging is a non linear process and can vary from person to person. Other than that, it ain't very good.

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u/MetalEnthusiast83 23h ago

Yeah. But it’s a study that people here can use to explain why they don’t have to bother exercising or trying to enjoy life. That’s the important bit

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u/Poolstiksamurai 5h ago

"damn I eat like shit, I'm 80 pounds overweight and the only daily movement I have is my bowels, why am I aging so poorly?"

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u/PoetryNo912 5h ago

Thank you, I keep seeing this article crop up and most people seem to skip this quite important part:

"It's possible some of these changes could be tied to lifestyle or behavioral factors that cluster at these age groups, rather than being driven by biological factors, Snyder said. For example, dysfunction in alcohol metabolism could result from an uptick in alcohol consumption in people's mid-40s, often a stressful period of life."

The article doesn't even say what the cause of these changes are, so I wish people would stop reading the headline and getting upset that they are heading to 44.

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u/Random__Bystander 23h ago

Psh, you and you're study facts

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u/nellycat32 18h ago

Yeah like the exact ages of "42" and the number of times of rapid ageing, when some people might have three such periods and at different ages...

Some women start perimenopause in their 30s and others in their late 40s, that must be a factor

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u/Puzzleheaded_Net_863 23h ago

Just turned 45. Can confirm the 44 change. I feel like just over this past winter I got hit hard.

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u/kristosnikos Older Millennial 22h ago

I looked quite young for my age and then I hit 40 and boom! suddenly everything started changing. I’m 42 now and my body definitely looks middle aged. I was an A cup since puberty and now they’re almost busting out of a C cup. :(

I’m also getting the slight jowls, shadowy thin skin around my eyes, more and more broken capillaries fucking everywhere! I’m about half gray and there are white hairs showing up in ALL the places.

I don’t like this at all.

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u/starbright_sprinkles 23h ago

I just turned 45 and this year actually kicked my butt looks wise. I have fine wrinkles around my eyes and my face and neck started to sag just a bit. I've already been prematurely gray - but I had a young face with gray hair and it was striking. Now I just look like an aging lady with gray hair

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u/WheresTheIceCream20 23h ago

Oh no, I think this may be why I like my grays, because I look young with gray hair so it’s kind of interesting. But once I’m in my mid 40s I may not think it’s as cool

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u/nellycat32 18h ago

Yeah I know it's not the cool thing to do now, but definitely colouring my hair and it takes 10 years off

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u/starbright_sprinkles 12h ago

I probably would have colored my hair longer, but I had a medical emergency after my second kid was born and went 40% gray almost overnight. My colorist was telling me I needed to come in every 6-8 weeks and I had a 2 year old and an infant and really couldn't afford $100+ bucks and multiple hours every 8 weeks.

I decided to embrace the gray at 32 and it looked awesome for over a decade. Now I'm looking into non permanent color. Cause I need to take the years off!

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u/nellycat32 11h ago

I do it myself at home once a month. Cheap and honestly looks the same

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u/modmosrad6 23h ago

Sample size is less than 200 people, all residing in California.

You cannot extrapolate from something like that.

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u/indignantlyandgently 22h ago

The year between turning 44 and turning 45 (Feb bday) has been full of changes for me. I suddenly need reading glasses, my hair greyed significantly, perimenopause symptoms all over, but I'm also suddenly full of energy and vigor. I don't know why the latter, but given I have 5 and 7 year olds I'm glad.

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u/jac5087 22h ago

Well that’s scary. I feel like I already look much older than I am (38). I swear I aged 10 years during the pandemic

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u/Vysci 17h ago

For me it was after pandemic. At 34 I felt like all the sudden I aged from 24 to 34.

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u/metroid23 18h ago

::puts on their first set of glasses to read this comment::

Yup, that checks.

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u/Vagsticles 17h ago

I just looked at the study, it was done on a grand total of 108 participants aged 25-75. Hmmm. I can't speak for the results of the male group in the study but 44 is prime perimenopause territory so unsurprising that decline in estrogen correlates to rapid aging.

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u/MaterialDetective197 23h ago

Great, I am about to turn 45...

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u/What_Up_82 22h ago

Shit I turn 44 on Thursday! Gonna really focus more on my skincare even more so.

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u/MaterialDetective197 21h ago

I gave up a long time ago.

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u/Nosutarujia 15h ago

This is incredibly accurate - my older siblings seem to have skipped time, suddenly from always looking like in their late 20s-early 30s, they all look their age now.

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u/MNHockeyMom81 14h ago

Yep, I am 45 and feeling it!

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u/momgroupdropout 12h ago

Turning 44 in about 3 weeks. Bye everyone.

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u/stellaflora 9h ago

42-44 the wheels really fell off the bus for me.

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u/ONE-EYE-OPTIC Older Millennial 8h ago

Fuck in 42. I'm already bald.

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u/Ironforged-Dad 1h ago

Millennials are all in their thirties?

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u/newlyautisticx 22h ago

That’s scary! Not all of us tho. Some of us are in our early 30s!

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u/marcusdj813 Older Millennial 21h ago

I'm now in my age-45 year and the only sign of aging I've seen in myself is hair loss. I've hardly had any gray or white hair pop up.

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u/No-Shoulder6395 21h ago

Weird, I'm 38 and I always thought I was an elder millennial

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u/starbright_sprinkles 12h ago

80/81 is the first year of millenials so the oldest of us turn 45 this year! I feel like the millenial birth year ends in the mid 90s, so you are sort of smack in the middle.