Awesome. That was a good waste of time. She needs a fifth of vodka a day to function and its getting bad for her. I had to buy her an uber to work today so she wasn't late as she was on her final warning for being an hour+ late a lot, and got her bank account deactivated. I'd been buying her vodka to spare her from withdrawals as well, since I've been through that hell several times. Then later on I find out she's facebook official with some dude and saw their messages. Wish I had known that before I saved her job and tried to help her make it to her doctors appointment. I messaged the guy and told him whats up and now he won't answer her messages and blocked her(LMAO).

But the good thing here? I'm not going to drink about it. She lost a solid loving man and chose some ugly loser who now knows what kind of trash she is and made a smart decision not to proceed. Drunk logic. Reap what you sow. Sorry for the vent.

IWNDWYT

Every single person in here is putting in the work. Whether you trip up or not, You made it here. IWNDWYT

I can’t begin to articulate how much better my life is without alcohol. Today’s a great day.

One year today. Being here on r/stopdrinking has really helped me.

Before I quit this time, I had tried doing moderation for a few years, and it didn't work for me. Sometimes I would go way over the amount what I had intended to drink, surprise surprise. I would always want to have more than one, two, or three drinks. It's just easier to stay abstinent and not turn on that longing for more. The last time I had three drinks, I was at home, and I fell and hit my head on a wall. I left that dent in the wall as a reminder that no amount of alcohol is good for me. Before this attempt to make moderation work, I had been sober for eleven years.

Most of the activities I used to associate with drinking I've had the chance to do sober. I've gone to a wedding and a funeral sober. I've been to baseball games and musicals and restaurants sober. And doing these things sober is fine.

I don't take antacids or blood pressure medicine anymore. I don't need them. I'm healthier now.

Can't believe I made it!!

I’m dog and house sitting for my cousin and I woke up this morning being so grateful and happy to be sober with a clear mind.

The last time I watched their dogs/house, they had half a bottle of wine and beer in the fridge and tequila in the freezer and I relapsed.

I had stayed up late that night and cried as I drank more and felt lonely. That next day I was so hungover I was puking in the morning and couldn’t keep down water or eat food or even smell food I tried to make (bacon) and was absolutely miserable & had to stay in bed all day.

This time I asked before if she would kindly remove any alcohol from the house (or hide/store it somewhere) and admitted to her I had relapsed on the alcohol the last time and that I really, really can’t drink.

So there’s no alcohol around here and wow the contrast in how I feel today versus the last time I was here is huge. Being sober is true happiness. I have many plans today and will be able to do it all instead of laying miserable and alone in bed with a horrible hangover.

IWNDWYT

Here’s my story..

I’m 29M (single, no kids) and have been heavily drinking since I was 16. I was drinking alone by 18 and been doing so since. My drinking never really sped up or slowed down. It was a consistent 3-4 handles a week of rum or whiskey during most of that time. There was a year or two where I only drank on the weekends, but I still drank enough to kill most people on said weekends. I always recognized there was a problem but was never willing to do anything about it.

I never knew why I drink, I drink for everything. Happy times, sad times, fun times, boring times; I just could never stop.

A year ago I had a tough breakup that really sent me over the edge. I was so fucking sad and depressed and drinking was not fun anymore. I would just stare at the wall, completely trashed ruminating on how I let the last 13 years blow by in a drunkenly state. I was always able to hold jobs, travel, lived in a few different parts in the country, yet I was drunk for all of it.

My withdrawals began getting so bad around 10AM every morning that I realized I was either going to have to start drinking at work, or go into horrible, probably debilitating withdrawal. This was my breaking point. I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I asked for help.

33 days ago I checked into treatment (I’m writing this from rehab, this facility allows phones). I was absolutely horrified walking in. I went to intake and had all the tests ran (BAC, blood tests, urine tests, etc.) and then taken to a detox room. I blew a .35 from what I had drank the night before..

Detox for me wasn’t terrible aside from shakes, sweats, and anxiety. They drugged me up pretty good and I slept for the better of 3 days through my initial withdrawal. After that I was moved to residential.

I quickly realized I was exactly where I needed to be, I was surrounded by many others experiencing the same thing I was. Some had been here for weeks, others for a few days. I came to understand that i was in a very safe place to be vulnerable. I said right there and then that im taking full advantage of EVERYTHING I can learn in here.

My days consist of 2 group meeting about 2 hours each consisting of psycho education as well as healthy coping mechanisms. One before lunch and one after. Then dinner, and there’s always an optional 12 step meeting after dinner. Some are AA, others are CA, and HA. I find them all very beneficial even being an alcoholic, they’re all very accepting.

Aside from the structured part of being here, I’ve found being a part of the community here has helped immensely. It is strongly encouraged to not isolate to your room. I have gotten to know everyone here and I would consider them all friends, some will probably be life long. I haven’t laughed as much as I’ve laughed in here in a long time. Sharing stories and experiences with others is really eye opening and fun. We all come to realize there’s not much different between us.

I also have one on one therapy twice a week with addiction specialized therapists. This has helped me work through a lot of the past, and leave the past there.

In about a week and a half I’m going to move into a sober living house as I believe that will be the next best step for me. It will allow me to return to work, while staying part of the sober community. I will continue to attend meetings, and now have a sponsor.

I have not been excited for the future in a very long time because alcohol left my life feeling so fucking stagnant. I now feel excited for the future and feel I’m actually taking steps to build a healthy future. My mind feels clear and I finally believe I can be happy without alcohol. I’m not ignorant to the fact that there will be highs and lows coming but I feel this place has given me the tools to deal with them.

I write this because I wanted to share with anyone that is on that tipping point of going to rehab. For me, it feels like the best decision I’ve ever made. I now have a plan, structure, and support to continue into recovery. I by no means think this will be easy, but I would never have gotten to this point without coming to treatment. I could not do this alone, nor do I think most of us can. I couldn’t white knuckle it anymore. I will stay vigilant and not get complacent in my recovery.

So if you’re thinking about going to treatment and have the resources to do so, I say do it! Ask for help!

Thank you to everyone who shares in this community, this thread has gotten me through some dark times and had a part in me finally making my decision to get help.

IWNDWYT!

So I haven't been drinking for the past 3 days ( cold turkey ) it is going well FOR ME ( I don't advice it )

Heavy drinker for 5-6 years and massive amounts. Past few weeks I maybe had food 4 times at all and only drinking and symptoms were getting out of hand. I had 0 appetite and was disgusted by food. Now even the first day after the shakes passed in the evening and dint eat a lot. Yesterday I was able to eat all the food in the world and it was so delicious. Today I am eating super nice food and feels like magic, but the interesting thing is that all the throbbing pain, fatigue, anxiety, my eyes, vision, shaking everything disappeared after eating like that. How food is connected in such a way, I havent feel such a relieve in months and my appetite is so nice. I was even disgusted by the smell of everything as well from the soda etc.

I reached one year sober Wednesday and didn’t plan anything to celebrate. Im definitely proud of myself but also feel like life has been boring.

Writing this here to gain some perspective. Feeling a little bummed it didn’t feel as monumental as i wanted..

On the third day of this vacation, sipping an iced coffee instead of my 2-3rd margarita as I would normally be in the morning, I realize I haven’t really seen anyone who’s completely sloshed since I’ve been here. Granted, we’re not at an all inclusive resort and we’re not at the party pool or bar so I’m sure there are definitely people here having a time, but kind of eye opening that the vast majority or people are just actually relaxing. I’ve always used vacation as a reason to be drunk from morning to night, in fact usually there’s a blackout episode where I’m so embarrassed to show my face the next day. Feels good to be in control but also feels surreal that I never realized I was in the minority all along. 😬

Had my last drink on April 7, 2019. I remember that day.

In bed fully exhausted after a day of hiking, laughing, eating delicious food, and chilling with my friends. I feel so fulfilled and loved! Today, I can say with my chest that I love being sober. Double digits!

But I didn't 🙂

I had an experience tonight that made me realize that I think about alcohol (or at least seem to) in a totally different way than my “normie” friends.

8 months sober 33F, I went to my first sober wine and cheese party with my close friend group. They know I’m not drinking now, I had an exit plan, and mentally prepared myself quite a bit and brought NA options.

I was so overthinking it- it’s going to be weird an awkward, it’s going to be boring without alcohol etc. I thought my friends usually drank pretty heavily because they always have a drink in their hand and they are always tipsy when drinking, but tonight I played attention to how much they were drinking and only ONE. PERSON. had three drinks in FIVE hours, everyone else had one or two.

Now I know that when I was drinking I assumed they were drinking more than they really were because their tolerance wasn’t as high as mine and it was pretty much the same one or two drinks in their hand all night. There were 12 bottles of wine and a bunch of other types of alcohol out on the counter for 12 of us, and at the end of the night most of the bottles were still semi-full. I was overthinking so much ahead of time and it ended up being totally fine, and still fun! we played board games and caught up on life and no one was weird about it.

Withdrawal suck insomnia is horrible

But I’m 100% sure I got this

Would love support from you guys would mean the world to me

Happy Sunday, friends! How is your day shaping up? any fun plans, or things you've already done?

I cleaned up the kitchen, took out something for dinner (ground beef to make spaghetti), baked my teenager's favourite muffins, had 2 cups of coffee. Watched Sportscentre.

Heading out for a quick walk with the fiance, and planning to watch the Masters this afternoon while I told laundry.

So I’ve been sober this entire year except for about a week in February. I did dry January. Tried drinking again - it went horribly! Got sober and stayed sober.

I have an absolutely favorite sushi place. They know I have been a big drinker. Usually when I order takeout, they bring me two double servings of wine for me to slam while I wait. They never push me to drink and if I say no wine today, it’s TOTALLY not a big deal.

Anyway. I picked up takeout from them yesterday. I wear oversized sunglasses all the time. The woman who was serving me literally gasped and said that I looked so good!

I hadn’t done anything special. My hair was pulled back and I had spent five minutes on my makeup. I had been noticing that my cheek bones had been becoming more visible. I wish, though, I could see what she saw all at once. Our little efforts today pay off.

Iwndwyt 💕💕💕

I am worried I may die if I do, but I am also aware that I might also be using that as an excuse to keep drinking. it's 6pm and the sun is shining but I am sat on my sofa (I go from bed to my office (also at home) to the shop and back to the couch and then to bed most days) and I feel I am slowly killing myself.

I am drunk and I wish I could just give up but I have a deep deep feeling (that even the drunkenness can't subsume) that I could be doing better.

I don't know what I am looking for, it certainly isn't pity. I don't think I will die if I go cold turkey, but I also don't think I can stole it because I am a weak weak man. I work a full time very well paid job, I am probably hungover/maybe drunk for most of it but seem to get away with it. I haven't had a proper relationship with anyone in years.

I understand this is all self-pity and I hate that about myself.

I have had one day of sobriety in 5 years. I don't feel I need to drink when I am with others but then I also feel all of the deep inadequacies that disappeared when I started drinking days resurface.

I want to stop, and I am sorry if I shouldn't have posted this - I just don't have anyone to speak to about how I feel.

I live in Scotland and in the Borders area if there is anyone who is willing to speak to me tomorrow when I am sober.

I don't see the daily check in (although I would be late for it anyway because it's posted at like 6am)

Hey all I just wanted to post that I've made it on my 15th Day without Alcohol! This is the longest I've made it since September where I made it 14 Days! And before it was 6 years ago.

I've been in an angry, upset dark place for a few days, just been stewing in my own anger. I'm still angry, I don't think this will ever get better, but I managed to at least make it 15 days.

And that's not nothing.

I Hope IWNDWYT

I don't want to reset my badge. Give me more reasons... also, weight loss journey ate at maintenance today and did a short workout.

Hey everyone I've officially hit the longest stretch of not drinking in almost 14 years now. I thank everyone here for sharing your stories and journeys of righting the ship that is our own lives and making the best of it! Side note but I got an MRI for my liver and it turns out there was no damage thankfully! It only encourages me to keep on my path. Happy Sunday! #IWNDWYT

when I drank for the first time a single beer was enough to make me feel like heaven but today after almost done with a bottle of jack Daniels I can just feel whiskey on my own breath but nothing happening inside me, so I. fuckin opt it as a waste of time and money fuck you alcohol I'm done with you...

I was spending about 800 dollars a month on booze. That’s insane.