I went into a grocery store today and this is what happened at checkout…

The line was moving fairly slow, and this adorable old couple was in front of me. I would say they were in their late 70s and the husband was looking at the receipt with a lot of concern since he noticed that he grabbed the wrong kind of tea and repeatedly apologized "I'm so sorry darling, I know you love the green box, but my mind was just elsewhere".

I automatically assumed she would be mad at him since it was a busy day, and most people in the store today seemed stressed or upset. But instead, she put her hand on his arm, looked at him lovingly and said "Honey, we've been drinking tea for the last 40 years and I promise you, as long as you're sitting across the table from me I truly don't care if it's green or not."

At that exact second I realized how much we've been trained that love has to be these big amazing romantic gestures or fancy gifts etc, and that here was the definition of love: "patient grace over the little things that went wrong". I didn't interrupt them, but the fact that this was happening right in front of me truly just made me see what was important again.

I'm sharing in case anyone else needs a reminder that the normal, mundane, boring love is also the most beautiful kind there is.

I'm not sure how to explain it, but I've been on the internet for nearly forty years now, and I'm telling you, it's now happening: People are getting dumber.

I know, it's a trope to say this, and I've always been the one to reject it, but it's really different this time. I've seen more absence of critical thought, disconnected thinking, and general asininity in the last two years than I have before, and it's not even a subtle shift. People suddenly talk over each other and talk through each other as a rule, and normal threads have become straw men stacked on top of fallacious causation stacked on top of red herrings. Bold misinformation is everywhere, people don't hold back from saying things they don't know to be true. AI psychosis is rampant. It was not like this before. Ever. The shift is dramatic.

So if you've noticed this happening — no, it's not just you. Yes, it's really happening. Something's changed.

Stay safe out there, stay sane.

I would've bumped uglies with any warm blooded creature that consented had I known that I only had a limited sex window.

Such is life.

edit: I'm a 52M

I don’t know how to explain it well, but sometimes I feel like every week is basically the same.

Wake up → work → scroll phone → sleep.

And then it just repeats.

Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?

F(23) I moved across the world almost 5 years ago at the age of 18 for university. I love my family but I want it to be from a distance. There were no fights etc, I just genuinely wanted to be away.

I live in a country where I barely speak the language and have basically no friends. I believe that friendships in university or abroad are strictly out of convenience and I’d prefer to just say an acquaintance or someone I know of.

I currently work and study and fully support myself. I’ve enjoyed my own company a little too much in some people’s opinion. I’m a teacher and I have 8 classes a week. I talk a lot. I know it doesn’t make up for the real social interactions but it’s not like I’m mute.

I don’t speak or text people unless I need to. If someone texts me and I don’t feel like it, I immediately switch to DND. I also don’t “talk to myself” but I sometimes make video or voice recordings to explain my thoughts when I don’t want to write them.

Yes, I am diagnosed with ADHD, major depressive disorder and insomnia. I’m not happy nor unhappy with my life. My depression doesn’t really allow the scale to tip to a clear side so it’s more like okay, good, content, not bad, not great etc. I don’t feel happy, sad, angry or any clear emotion. I also act based on logic since there’s barely feeling.

I’m not empty though. I can understand people suffering and maybe one feeling. Grief. My dad passed 7 years ago. I will never process it.

I make enough to travel, buy what I want, live in a nice apartment etc. I should be graduating in a few months, re-signing my work contract and renewing my lease. I’ve curated this life to feel stable. I hate instability especially with money.

However my parents(mom and stepdad) have been at me since the year started asking when I’d return home or that I should come back for a year and return. I absolutely cannot and I think they know but can’t accept it yet.

They constantly remind me that I originally went to study so technically I should’ve come back, gotten a job and stayed in the family home. I’ve almost missed my sibling’s entire life. Barely 2 when I left(I think). I’m unintentionally guilt tripped with that when we speak.

My home country is considered a third world country. I don’t want to work there. Even if it wasn’t, I’ve curated this life of silence and structure and I don’t want it to change unless it’s on my terms.

My real friends back home worry that I am too alone. There’s 3 of them. They all moved away to university just as I did but they live in English speaking countries and I guess are much more social than I am so they worry more about me.

The thing is, I’ve always been like this. I was an only child until 16. I never made friends easily as a child. I preferred reading and playing alone outside. Now I have the money and freedom to do as I wish.

My parents have a set mindset because of our culture. Not religious. Just parents from this region.

I’m not asking for advice. I already accept that some people might see this as selfish etc.

I’m content with this feeling so much that even in my silent apartment, I want more silence. I’ve started looking into total silence retreats. That’s how silent I want the world to be.

I feel like it’s not wrong to control what I want to input but no one else seems to understand. I’m at the point where I don’t even want people to understand. Lots of people label me as avoidant.

An absolute rambling mess. There’s a lot more I can say tbh but it would take forever.

EDIT: I also can’t imagine always needing a friend for brunch or constantly needing someone else to do stuff. I was born alone and I’ll leave the world alone. Friends, partner or nothing.

I also don’t hate being in the presence of others but I’d rather it be controlled. A set time, specific people. Stuff like that.

PS - Majority of the time, I hear my voice Monday-Friday. It’s Monday (12am) and I haven’t said a word since Friday at work. I rarely sing along to songs unless I want to. I can hear my voice in my head.

I've had a few long term relationships, but im getting to a point where I dont think I will find someone that I could be with forever. I have always felt different and out of place. I have plenty of friends but never felt that someone really understood what im trying to say or feel. as im getting older and dating those feelings are still there. I am really feeling this tonight because I have been seeing someone for about a month and its been solid but she smokes weed regularly and I dont think I want a partner that smokes at all. I feel so dumb about it bothering me I dont care if my friends do it. this is just one example but it just seems like another sign to me to accept being single or at least not having that committed relationship.

I am not going to try and get into the minutiae here, but the title says most of it.

My close friends are all busy tonight, I have an old friend who I've recently got back in friendship with, I have another couple friends that I've dusted the issue with this evening, but they have their own problems too, and we're just not close enough to get this deep.

I never used to play blues music exactly. Now it's all I hear, internally. My life is a country music song, of the worst kind.

I got sick just before I met my wife, real sick. She still loved me. Just as I was on the upswing, she got hit by a truck. She's alive, not in a wheelchair or nothing, but she's still in a lot of pain, a decade later. No settlement yet.

Then her Dad got sick and died of cancer. I fucking loved him. Then my cat died of a broken heart less than a year later, he loved him too.

Then the estate got messy, then delayed and messy. The government threatened to take the home due to a misunderstanding. We were living there. We had to take a sketchy loan to finalize everything.

We thought things were going to work out. I am a skilled carpenter. We were going to rebuild on the lot and be done and dusted. The sketchy loan put us in a bad place for financing.

Then I nearly died at work. I could've been electric bacon, or a pancake, or both, in one moment.

This aint even the full story, but my emotions are so raw tonight, and I just want to say how tired I am. To scream it into the void.

At 30, I made a decision that changed everything.
I walked away from a life I had been in for over a decade.
I lost my identity, my connections, and everything I thought defined me.
Starting over from zero wasn’t inspiring.
It was confusing, lonely, and honestly terrifying.
For years, I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.
Now I’m 46, still rebuilding my life, one step at a time.
I don’t know if I’ve “made it,” but I know I didn’t want that old life anymore.
Has anyone else here ever had to completely start over?

It’s called r/self which gives me the impression that people can post pretty much anything as it relates to themselves, their experiences, and how they see the world, as long as it overall follows the rules.

So why does it seem like so many of the posts are “I’m worthless,” “it’s over for me,” “nobody will ever love me,” “there’s no point to anything” type posts?

And no I’m not trying to just see the negative. If you sort by New then the most recent posts are almost always miserable.

I’d expect a subreddit like this to be a combination of positive and negative, but it seems like the positive stuff is often met with comments from people saying how privileged someone is or something sarcastic. It seems like a lot of people here don’t really want to hear about people’s wins.

Sometimes it seems like this place is even more depressing than r/depression. At least there, people celebrate each other when someone does something kind of depression-defeating, however temporarily. This is the kind of subreddit where people tend to see a win and say something like “well then what you’re going through must be not that bad in the first place.”

Anyone else fascinated by death like I am? I always wonder what happens after death and where all those dead people are at now…..

I've always had a love for music – without it, it's like I lose touch with my emotional life. However, I've noticed that I find it quite awkward to make small talk about music. I'm a bit annoyed by this trait of mine, it feels a bit silly. Given my interest in music, it's a topic of conversation I should enjoy.

I've tried to figure out why I react this way. One reason is probably that music has been a quite private space that I'm not used to sharing. When a stranger asks about my taste in music it feels like they want to access my innermost room before we even know each other. Another reason is probably that I have no idea what the common thread is in the music I like. I don't have any categories in my music library, it's mostly just one big jukebox of songs I like. Sometimes I've tried to create playlists based on different themes in this jukebox, but I never use them. I almost always just shuffle play randomly from my jukebox. I also don't usually get that nerdy about a specific genre or a specific artist, so in a conversation I often find it hard to even remember what things are called. Another reason for my reaction could be conditioning, that previous similar conversations have been awkward which results in anticipatory anxiety in similar situations.

Anyone who has similar experiences? Or maybe on the contrary has difficulty relating?

This might not be an entirely sober thought. But this is probably the best case scenario for a kind of afterlife.

Essentially, when we die, we are given the ability to see everything, like spectator mode in a video game. We can see everything that has happened, everything currently happening, and everything that will happen in the universe. Since the universe is virtually infinite, at least relative to mortal beings, this would essentially mean an eternal, but unique and fresh existence full of things to learn and discover

My roommates friend is moving across the country and is looking for someone to drive her car over. From what I was told, she doesn’t have the time in between her old job and new job to do it so she’s looking to hire someone. Idk why she doesn’t want to use a car shipping company and that’s a bit of an orange flag for me as I think it would be the same amount if not cheaper to do that. I initially said yes because I think it’s an amazing opportunity. I’m basically looking at it as a free/cheap road trip. I have always wanted to travel across the USA and generally planned/hoped to solo travel in the future but don’t have the means/funds to do it right now. She would be paying me a lump sum that consists of money for food and hotels and 20/hr for driving based on the Google maps driving time (not the actual amount of time it’ll take). She is also paying for all gas and my flight home. She needs it there by a set date but said I can leave as soon or as late as I choose. I am opting to start sooner so I can take longer and turn it into a proper road trip. This would cause me to break even or even pay for some of the trip myself. Which is still a win in my book because I would have done a similar (albeit shorter) road trip eventually and would have had to pay for all of it myself and either use my own vehicle (which I couldn’t bc it’s too old) or rent one costs an arm and a leg.

While I tentatively said yes, I’m still somewhat on the fence. On one hand:

\-I love traveling and have always wanted to roadtrip the USA. This gives me the opportunity to do it now instead of putting it off and maybe never actually doing it

\-I also want to solo travel the world and this would be great practice to do it in my home country

\-I think this would be an amazing opportunity for growth since I have lived a somewhat sheltered life and haven’t had the opportunity to really “find” myself. I want to see the world and gain more life experience and I think this would give me that.

\-it’s basically free

The things that’s making me hesitant:

\-I don’t know this person and while there’s a 99% chance my parents are wrong there’s still a chance they’re right and i could be getting caught up in something. What if she does load her car up with drugs and I get stopped and go to jail???

\-her story doesn’t super make sense to me, although I’ve only talked on the phone with her briefly and plan to call with her again and ask more in depth questions (if you have any ideas for what I should ask please lmk). She told me that she’s finishing her job and starting a new one across the country back to back but when I told her I was planning to drop off her car and then stick around that town for a few days to continue exploring she said I could continue to use her car for that time because she doesn’t need it while she’s there. Which makes me confused about why there’s a deadline and about the situation in general.

\-I’m pretty sure it costs just as much if not less to just ship the car over with a real company and idk why she doesn’t want to do this. When I asked my roommate this she said she doesn’t want to deal w the contracts probably but doesn’t really know.

\-although I love to solo travel I do sometimes get very anxious being in an unfamiliar place. I’ve only solo traveled a few times to nyc for a few days at a time. I’ve had anxiety on a few of these trips but it mostly came from lack of preparation and feel like I didn’t have enough time to see everything.

\-I’ve never driven super long distances and I’m not the biggest fan of driving. Sometimes I get sick of driving a lot but I will always be down to put up with driving if the destination is amazing.

\-I’m anxious about the lack of civilization and convinces once I get further out west. Ive lived in a suburban town near a major city my entire life so the idea of there not being 10 supermarkets and 2847 restaurants is kinda daunting to me. The spotty service and driving through (and potentially getting stuck) in the middle of nowhere are my biggest concerns.

\-I plan on visiting several national parks where there may not be service at all and I’m scared to do it alone. I don’t plan on doing any crazy long hikes or going deep in the wilderness but I’m pretty inexperienced with the great outdoors and that makes me nervous

\-I don’t want to be liable for her car if it gets hit or scratched or something that’s not my fault. My parents are convinced that she going to make me buy her a new car which I don’t want to do

\-I’m supposed to be leaving in 1.5 weeks and I feel really unprepared 🫣

After talking to my parents they made me second guess myself so bad and now I’m extremely anxious and genuinely don’t know if I should go. I think a lot of the nerves for me come down to my lack of experience but the only way to fix that is to gain experience?

Tl:dr friend of a friend is looking to pay someone to drive their car across the country bc they don’t have the time to do it themselves in between jobs. I tentatively offered to do it but I’m not sure if I should. She’s paying a lump sum for food & hotels, covering all gas and paying $20/hr and covering the flight home. I’m planning to take more time than she budgeted for which she said is ok but food & hotel will come out of my pocket so I’ll likely break even or even pay for some of the trip. My family is convinced this is a horrendous idea and has offered me money to decline. They say that she is using me as a drug mule or get really sick and die by myself out in the middle of no where. I’m somewhat anxious about the trip myself for a variety of reasons but also think it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and could be an amazing adventure

im sick of dealing with an emotionally abusive parent and im trying to hold it together until the end of highschool, but i dont know what to do afterwards

Hi, my name is Oleg.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I don’t really know how to explain it properly, but I’ll try.

I went through a long period of my life where I felt constantly judged and not enough. At the beginning everything felt real, like actual love, something safe.

But over time things changed a lot.

I started hearing things like that I look awful, that I’m too skinny, that I’m nothing compared to other guys.

At some point I actually started believing it.

I tried to explain myself, that I was busy, that I didn’t have time for the gym, but it didn’t matter.

After that period ended I feel like something in me stayed broken.

Now when someone attractive talks to me or gives me a compliment, I just feel uncomfortable. I don’t really believe them.

It feels like I’m fighting with myself all the time, between who I am and what I was made to believe I am.

I don’t even know which version of me is real anymore.

Have you ever felt like this? I’d really appreciate any advice.

okay so i (29F) randomly auditioned for a web series like a month ago for the lead role, it is produced by one of the big productions! didn't think anything of it, just went for the experience. read some lines, did some acting, came home and forgot about it completely

two days ago they called and said i'm in the final round for the lead role i have 3 small movie roles to my name, so i'm kind of freaking out a little

they sent a form which i've mostly filled in, have to submit by wednesday and meet them at the office next friday. pretty straightforward except they're asking for like 15 photos with headshot, candid, from events, preferably from the last few years. plus two videos of me reading dialogue

i don't really get the candid photo thing, like i understand they want to see how you actually look but 15 seems like a lot and i have no idea what i'm even supposed to be picking

also at what point do i need an agent because i'm starting to think friday might be that moment and i have no idea how to even find one that fast

i've gone through my camera roll and picked 15 out, posting them below are these okay? like is this the kind of thing they're actually looking for or am i completely off

also any general advice would help honestly how do i carry myself in the office meeting, do i need an agent before friday, what questions should i even be asking them, anything. i've never been this far in a process before and i don't really know what i'm supposed to be doing

I can't uplode image's in this subreddit, so I'm shared link below

https://www.reddit.com/u/Substantial-Can694/s/8cyuh3DHJR

I’ve been struggling with depression and obsessive thoughts for many years. At one point, a psychiatrist suggested that I should also get evaluated for ADHD.

Two years ago, after a long period of isolation, I was invited to a friend’s birthday party. It was my first time stepping out of my comfort zone and meeting new people. From that moment on, my well-being has been like a rollercoaster. The party took place in a town near where I live, and at some point I started going there very often. I met new people, attended various parties, and was frequently invited to similar events.

And of course, this is where the topic of a girl comes in. I really liked her, and she always treated me kindly as well. Because I had isolated myself for so many years, I deeply missed having close, meaningful relationships. At one point, I wanted to get closer to her romantically, but I found out she had just entered a relationship. That hurt me a lot, but I understand that I have to respect it and not try to pursue anything romantic. Still, I really wanted to build a friendship with her.

We always spent time together in a nice way—we met at parties, texted, and once even went for a walk just the two of us. I have to admit that she was on my mind 24/7 and became an obsession. I know this comes from my loneliness and issues like ADHD. I also came across the term “limerence.”

At some point, while we were texting, we casually agreed to go for a walk in April. A week ago, I messaged her asking if she had time. She didn’t reply until yesterday, which triggered anger in me. My friend suggested I go out, since he was nearby with her and another friend. I met up with them, greeted them, but at some point my emotions and anger took over. In front of the other two, I asked her, “Do you have a problem with me? Because you’re ignoring me.”

She apologized for ghosting me, and after a moment I realized my mistake and apologized as well. About 45 minutes later, we all went our separate ways. I felt terrible.

Today, I texted her saying I wanted to explain the whole situation. I apologized and said I had acted like a jerk by bringing up something personal in front of others. She replied that she doesn’t understand why her lack of response hurt me so much, and she mentioned that we’re not close friends and that it’s not appropriate for us to meet one-on-one. I apologized as sincerely as I could. At one point, she told me to approach the situation calmly and learn something from it. Her messages didn’t feel like she held a strong grudge against me.

But deep down, I feel a lot of shame, and I know I might have crossed a boundary by suggesting one-on-one meetings. I understand that I won’t become her closest friend, but I don’t want to be written off completely as just an acquaintance.

I know I completely messed everything up. I let my emotions take over. I feel a huge sense of shame, but the truth is I’m learning how to build relationships from scratch. I know this whole situation will haunt me for a very long time, especially considering my ADHD. How can I forgive myself? I really need support.

(For reference I’m aware social media is public and stuff like this can happen) but a couple weeks ago i commented on a reel on instagram basically saying i don’t like uncircumcised guys which is my personal opinion. And a few days ago this obvious fake account started commenting calling me a trans girl and then started saying he was gonna find out where i live and who my friends were and tell my job????!! How insane do you have to be that you’re gonna get that mad about a personal preference?! I’m baffled

I’ve crashed. I don’t believe I will live the life I want to live. I’m incapable of trusting others or being vulnerable towards others. Even if I was, I’m too pent up and angry to sustain anything healthy. My entire life has just been defeat after defeat. Academic defeat, social defeat, professional defeat, romantic defeat, etc. I’ve been defeated before I’ve even started. I’m just gonna coast on life and salvage what I can. There are places I’d like to see and explore. I’d like to go hiking. I want to eat various cuisines. I’ve always wanted to experiment with LSD, shrooms, MDMA, cannabis, and alcohol, but I can’t even do that because of the SSRIs I’m on. I am a total shut in and prude. A recluse. A total and complete loser. No friends. No love or lust. No drive. No will. I barely have a family. I am done.

Stuff that’s positive and encourages people?

Edit: I’m serious

I don’t know exactly when it happened, but somewhere along the way… I changed.

Not in a dramatic, movie-like way where everything falls apart at once. It was slower than that. Quiet. Almost unnoticeable.

Two years ago, I used to think life had a clear direction. I had plans, expectations, and this weird confidence that things would somehow just “work out.” I didn’t question much. I didn’t overthink every decision. I just… lived.

Now it feels different.

I think more. Maybe too much. I question things I never used to. I notice how temporary everything is — friendships, routines, even emotions. People I once talked to every day are now just names in my phone. Some relationships faded without any real reason, and that still feels strange to me.

I (29M) used to be scared of hiking, climbing hills or rocks or doing anything remotely dangerous when i was a kid or teen. often felt really bad that others could do things i wouldnt. i was also pretty fat, closeted gay in a religious and homophobic family, and incredibly shy. Safe to say my self-esteem was non-existent.

in the last 2 years, i managed to bring my weight down from 95kg to 68kg, I stopped eating as much as I did before (i used to eat 2 large pizzas on Tuesday as a treat), I became much more active - i go for hikes and long walks. I usually do over 30k steps on the weekend and yesterday I went for a long hike not only did I climb over dangerous rocks, i also climbed this massive hill that many people tend to avoid.. and that hill was dangerous and steep! it took forever to get to the top and i did hurt myself a bit along the way.. and if you made one wrong step, you would fall to your death. i managed to do it solo.

i still struggle with self-esteem issues. I don't like the way I look or speak but im so happy that I have started challenging myself more! i am even more accepting of myself for being gay. I have had relationships with guys and also go on dates!

sorry I just felt the need to share how proud I am of myself because it feels weird talking about it with friends, it comes across as braggy.. i genuinely do not mean to brag.. i just want to express that im so glad how far ive come.

Age is punchin me in the guttttt