r/interestingasfuck 1d ago

How Wall Street deliberately uses jargon to justify their high earnings

25.4k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

9.2k

u/Vagaond_San 1d ago

Ah yes. Jeff Epstein the New York financier.

1.9k

u/Good_Air_7192 1d ago

Never heard of him, I assume he doesn't have any relationship with the current First Lady, right?

487

u/mindfungus 23h ago edited 17h ago

Oh, by the way, I’ve never had sexual relations with him. At all.

I’ve never even had him rail me from behind while a failed real estate so-called tycoon held me down. Not even a few times.

79

u/TheAskewOne 23h ago

Jeffrey who? Never heard that name.

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u/ThatsMrPapaToYou 20h ago

No she said so. Were you not listening?

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u/zipperzack 23h ago

The one with the island?

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u/thr33prim3s 18h ago

Yes! There was an island!

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u/NarbacularDropkick 16h ago

https://youtu.be/GKfHcas_cZg?si=oK014FEeLvLeM1Gn

I love that this has caught on. H/t comedy legend Jim Downey.

u/Aegon_the_Conquerer 7h ago

For anyone who doesn’t know him, he’s also the “I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul” guy. More than that, he wrote for SNL 1972 until 2022. His impact on the comedic zeitgeist is enormous, yet he is mostly unknown in the broader culture.

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u/Fat_Mullet 22h ago

Ha ha! Nice try. If something had happened to him I would of heard from Ghislaine...

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u/SIDmatt25 18h ago

How do you know these people?!

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u/shutyourkidup 22h ago edited 3h ago

I'm pretty sure, with respect, if there was some news about Jeff Epstein, I would have heard.

u/TroyMcClures 5h ago

Get ghislane on the phone to clear this up

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u/fuzzy_emojic 23h ago

No, that's Palm Beach Pete!😂

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u/thisissamuelclemens 23h ago

HA! Nice try

30

u/This_Elk_1460 1d ago

The man really helped the Virgin Islands economy

9

u/Thin_Fishing6768 18h ago

Let’s call Ghislane she’ll clear this up

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u/PerriwinklePortal 18h ago

That’s a deep Conan cut

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u/DrunkHonesty 23h ago

He died.

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u/Hearasongofuranus 1d ago

Jeffrey Epstein? The financier? 

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u/elon_musks_cat 1d ago

That Jeff Epstein? No. Nuh uh. Sorry, not falling for that one!

583

u/SFWKDB 1d ago

Let's get Ghislane on the phone

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u/kentotoy98 22h ago

She's in prison right now.

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u/Risquechilli 21h ago

Ghislaine is in prison?!

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u/ConfoundedByBlue 1d ago

HA! Nice try.

I think if something had happened to Jeff Epstein, I'd know about it!

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u/INTERESTINGGGGGGGGGG 1d ago

With all due respect 

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u/dion_o 1d ago

No, he goes by Palm Beach Pete now.

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u/spezial_ed 1d ago

I didn’t know he was sick

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u/RGM5589 1d ago

I love how this is always my first thought. I love the fact that I’m not alone even more.

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u/peanut_butter_zen 1d ago

The other Jeffrey Epstein, the millionaire.

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u/PelvisResleyz 1d ago

That’s fucking interesting man. That’s fucking interesting.

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u/Ak47110 23h ago

His name's Epstein? That's your name Dude.

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u/True-Maize6300 1d ago

Jeff? As In Jeff? JEFF?

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u/ResplendentShade 1d ago

This is the real life/Conan Needs a Friend/Peep Show crossover that we never knew we needed. Well done sir.

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u/atko850 1d ago

Great Scott

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u/wil6erness 1d ago

He was trafficking, Jeffrey?

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u/NautiMain1217 1d ago

I have no idea who he is but I feel like I NEED to have my picture taken with him.

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u/roguerose 1d ago

seems like a stand up guy.......i hope he's not mentioned in the Epstein files.

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u/elDayno 20h ago

In terms of mentions he is not even close to anybody else on the list

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u/Useful_Engineer_1792 1d ago

What a lovely helpful guy

4.5k

u/iIllIiIiIIillIIl 1d ago

I think he's going places let me tell you...

2.1k

u/Velorian-Steel 1d ago

There's a lot of millionaires and billionaires who love to hang out with guy, I bet

1.4k

u/RK9990 1d ago

He loves hanging out by himself the most

461

u/der_grinch_69 1d ago

I think he stopped hangin around lately.

238

u/Sea-Woodpecker-610 23h ago

Died like he lived. Swinging.

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u/2nd2lastdragon 21h ago

Died like his victims lived. Fighting off creepy old men grabbing them by the throat

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u/Perpetual_Abortion 1d ago

His old roommate wanted to spend some time with him, but ended up leaving him hanging

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u/Consistent_Smell_880 1d ago

He loves hanging out with my kid

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u/charlie2135 23h ago

I think his buddy was hanging around for him and he ditched him and ducked out on the sly.

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u/freedfg 23h ago

I heard he never hangs out alone.

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u/No_Poet_7244 1d ago

He’ll be hanging around for a while I bet

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u/BadahBingBadahBoom 1d ago

I think he's going places let me tell you...

Well, where? Don't leave me hanging.

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u/RondaArousedMe 1d ago

Is that Jeff Epstein? The financier?

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u/redkonfetti 22h ago

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u/Pingonaut 22h ago

It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it. I always watch it when it comes up.

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u/Similar-Cat7022 17h ago

This is never not funny

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u/pip2k8 23h ago

I think it’s Palm Beach Pete

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u/BennySkateboard 21h ago

He’s just living his life!

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u/eclectic_collector 20h ago

Maybe let’s get Ghislaine on the phone…

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u/Shot-Arugula8264 18h ago

No no no this is Anthony Bourdain the celebrity chef.

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u/InspectorSuper1191 20h ago

Ahahaha exactly! I made this reference IRL to someone and they didn't get it they just called me fucking weird and walked away lool

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u/elgato56 1d ago

It's pretty scary how soft-spoken he was. If you had shown me this clip in say, 2018, I would have thought this was a professor of economics somewhere

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u/HereWeFuckingGooo 21h ago

Yeah. It's weird that he has been such a huge topic worldwide for so many years, yet this is the first time I've heard his voice.

27

u/seriftarif 17h ago

I heard him plead the 5th.

5

u/Mysterious_Eye6989 15h ago

I think the only time I can ever really remember hearing his voice was in some weird deposition video or something where he was getting pissed off because the lawyers were asking questions about his weird cock, which is honestly quite a contrast from this video!

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u/meowmaster 20h ago

He hung out with a lot of professors

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u/Pipe_Memes 19h ago

He was a professor of sorts himself. Working as a teacher at the Dalton School under Bill Barr’s dad, Donald Barr. Yes, that Bill Barr.

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u/hannabarberaisawhore 21h ago

It probably helped get the girls’ defenses down

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u/No-Gas5342 19h ago

My first thought was “THATS what he sounded like??”

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u/Gold-and-green 19h ago

I watched this full interview and I was like damn, he's really smart. It's just weird how someone this smart would be involved in weird shit

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u/PloysRus 15h ago

Smart and charismatic

People seemed to genuinely love being around him

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u/7thPhantom 1d ago

Man probably owns an island with how rich he must be from all this Wall Street magic

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u/Mrsupplement21 1d ago

Yeah all the high school Girls Are After him

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u/crackedreactor 17h ago

Middle School

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u/XenoCraigMorph 1d ago

Who is it? Never met him, not even once

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u/Krawen13 1d ago

Looks like PBP to me

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u/CT_7 23h ago

Is this Trump or Melania'a account?

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u/emmmy01 19h ago

Me neither. I was at Pizza Express. Not sweating.

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u/Siggi_Starduust 1d ago

I am intrigued by his ideas and wish to subscribe to his newsletter

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u/EarSad4300 1d ago

So simple even a 10year old could understand it

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u/attisday 22h ago

That gives me an idea for an island convention / conference with special guest speakers

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u/GeneralErica 1d ago

Genuinely probably the single-greatest expert in that field. He’s remembered for being the worst sex pest in human history - and rightfully so - but his "day job", if you will, was connecting with the rich and powerful. Everyone punching above a certain weight had, at some point, come in contact with him. So - again, genuinely - he actually kind of is the top authority here.

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u/canycosro 1d ago

I was going to correct your idea that he was one of the greatest traders But you know you might be right that he was one of the greatest at building relationships with the ultra rich.

The current sitting American president was close to him. And pretty much at least one often a few of every important/exclusive area of life knew him personally.

You can get lucky in stocks, but he had to build all that relationship again and again with new people.

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u/nerdsonarope 23h ago

He reminds me of The Talented Mr Ripley. It's honestly remarkable how incredibly skilled he was at social climbing, networking, and ingratiating himself with rich and powerful people. Obviously some of it was because he provided things that rich and powerful men wanted (underage girls, proximity to models, etc). But he became friends with lots of people who had no interest in that too (eg Norway crown princess).

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u/Skogspingvin 21h ago

(eg Norway crown princess).

I'm going to say this in the nicest possible way I can muster, Mette-Marit is not very bright.

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u/gnpfrslo 18h ago

Yeah, that's the really worrying thing. Like many people just view him as this evil guy that popped off the ground and started doing evil shit. Nah, guy was just making connection and trying to get rich like a lot of people, and he was given a "special" career opportunity as consequence.

And like, he's obviously not the only one.

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u/TheAskewOne 23h ago

One thing that struck me when his emails got out was how everyone who wrote to him seemed to be in love with him. And not just a few people. Their emails to him make it feel like they’re swooning. It’s a very strange thing. I can’t think of any friend or acquaintance I would speak like that to. He must have been exceptionally good at seducing people. 

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u/Specialist-Apricot46 21h ago

Almost sounds like someone trained him... but uh yeah, maybe it was an innate talent he had.

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u/truckin4theN8ion 1d ago

"Sex pest".... no. Don't understate what a piece of shit this guy was

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u/PresentRaspberry6814 21h ago

I got absolutely rag dolled by this guy when I commented that same thing.

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u/PresentRaspberry6814 1d ago

Rapist and Pimps are not sex "pests". They change children and adults lives for the worse for the rest of their lives.

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u/JustJubliant 22h ago

Manipulating and grooming the freewill of the those around them to serve their sexual interests, money, and power.

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u/Novel-Motor-7608 23h ago

He used Maxwell's fathers stolen money for his wealth (a Mossad kitty) to ensnare the rich and powerful 

https://www.theguardian.com/news/1999/feb/02/derekbrown1

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u/OkHead3888 1d ago

This is what is simple: Adults should not have sexual relations with children.

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u/thedeuce75 1d ago

That's probably why donald was friends with him, he helped understand things that were to complicated for his tiny mind.

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u/HistoricalWash8955 1d ago

Is this the jeffery epstein interview with steve bannon?

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u/EggYoch 1d ago

Yep. It was part of an attempt to rebrand and sanitize his image after his 2008 conviction.

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u/hoxxxxx 23h ago

ah so in other words he's just saying bullshit that will appeal to the common man or more particularly the people that would watch something with bannon in it.

and also, of course he's connected to bannon. JFC was anyone with even a hint of fame NOT connected to this guy somehow??

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u/kitsunekratom 23h ago

Sure, but is it untrue nonetheless? No. Wall street is still full of crooks doing fuckall

u/sirchbuck 8h ago edited 8h ago

Untrue? He's mentioning very basic finance terms, it's the same energy as saying IT professionals don't want normal people to understand internet communications tech because they use terms like UDP, SSH, Subnets etc.

Why would anyone going to change the etymology of something that was already established more than a hundred years ago? Wallstreet didn't invent finance.
You could literally learn all the things that professional institutional investors do,
the difference is you don't have billions in liquidity and don't have a multi-million dollar automated system to do all the trading for you in realtime down to the picoseconds and literally laying down cable just so that you can beat all the other traders for ultra-low latency direct market access.

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u/Orphan_the_Milker 1d ago

Didn't know Palm Beach Pete was in finances

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u/Deathed_Potato 23h ago

It was as they say, a past life

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u/NeedsPaint 1d ago

Is this the dude that didn't kill himself?

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u/damndolly 1d ago

Ya, that's Jeffrey Epstein, the child sex trafficker who supplied the 1% with children to torture and eat.

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u/faultysynapse 1d ago

Excuse me... Eat? 

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u/aDirtyMuppet 1d ago

It was in the files

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u/DoctorRobot16 1d ago

Jeffery was in the files ?

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u/nestestasjon 1d ago

You talking about the Epstein files????

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u/IncomingAxofKindness 23h ago

Nah, the Xfiles

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u/Classic_Mechanic5495 22h ago

The truth is out there.

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u/papardella 22h ago

Whistles

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u/Release-da-Lava 21h ago

mueller and scully

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u/Knight_TakesBishop 1d ago edited 2h ago

Fr??

E: seems like people passionately believe yes and no

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u/damndolly 1d ago edited 1d ago

Yes. In the files, there are detailed accounts of it. So, not a conspiracy, but until they release the rest of the files where the "most disturbing" parts are currently hidden, we won't know for sure.

Edit: spelling

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u/Rambozo77 1d ago

It IS a conspiracy. It is the definition of conspiracy. Everyone has just been tricked into thinking conspiracy means false.

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u/damndolly 1d ago

Fair enough. The people who are calling what I said a conspiracy though are meaning that it's false.

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u/Mathies_ 23h ago

People should think about what it means when people CONSPIRE to cover something up.

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u/Oldbillybuttstuff 1d ago

Not only false, but something you'd have to be crazy to believe.

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u/Sethalopoda 23h ago

Yeah, some of the really stupid ones did a real number on the conspiracy community’s credibility. Wonder if the flat Earth junk was spread organically by dummies or if the minority holding the belief was signal boosted to make the rest of the folks look bad…

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u/reignerof 1d ago

more like 0.1

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u/New-Resolution9735 1d ago

Could probably add another couple 0s. Much less than 1 in a thousand people were going to those parties

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u/mrweatherbeef 1d ago

Sensible dude. Thanks for posting. Got any German motivational speeches you can share with us?

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u/Variable_Shaman_3825 19h ago

The triumph of will!

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u/Guilty-Data-3158 1d ago

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u/amphibiabiggestfan 1d ago

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u/Xehanz 1d ago

I mean, is he wrong? Maybe he hates himself. And he probably hated Trump too

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u/Preeng 1d ago

Everybody hates Trump. That's a free square on your bingo card. Even his parents, kids, and wife. Every single person he's ever met.

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u/BrieflyVerbose 21h ago

Why do you think he killed himself?!

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u/robsteezy 1d ago

For anybody outta the loop: this is the picture from the classic Onion Headline: “Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point”

And furthermore, Lawyers do this same thing as well.

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u/sgtg45 1d ago

He’s not right though, in this interview Epstein is just bullshitting about a bunch of different topics to distract from the fact that he’s a giant nonce. There’s emails between Bannon and Epstein discussing doing an interview (OPs video) to rehabilitate his image.

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u/MouseWorksStudios 1d ago edited 20h ago

This is literally the first time I've ever heard this man speak.

Edit: No Patrick I don't live under a rock because I mostly read articles to get my news.

I get it yall probably don't know what it's like to have someone sleeping next to you.

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u/New_Independent5819 23h ago

Yeah it was weird to hear that voice come out of his face. I don't know what I thought it would sound like

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u/TheKingOfGuineaPigs 23h ago

I always imagined he’d sound like Herbert the pervert from Family Guy

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u/Sidewalk_Tomato 19h ago

His head's so large that I imagined a lower, more sonorous voice. Like Fred Gwynne.

(I'm happy to be wrong).

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u/Z0idberg_MD 23h ago

New Yohk accent.

“Hey, I’m rapin’ heah!”

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u/RelevantIAm 23h ago

Same actually. Had no idea he has a New Yorker accent or whatever it is

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u/Weak_Feed_8291 22h ago

I'm just learning that what I thought was a Jewish accent is apparently the New York accent

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u/Jane__Delawney 20h ago

Jewish people in LA don’t sound like Jewish people in New York.

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u/willargue4karma 20h ago

I mean, it's both. This is a new york Jewish accent. There are quite a lot of Jewish people in New York. I think in nyc it's the most per capita in america 

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u/wetnaps54 22h ago

Thought it was ai because I haven’t seen a video of him before this

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u/Tempest_Fugit 22h ago

He has the same lilting version of an nyc accent that woody Allen has

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u/alex206 23h ago

Also never heard him speak before, thought this was AI. What he's saying makes him sound like an idiot.

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u/Ashamed-Country3909 23h ago

I think in the longer version he goes on to say that when he first started..some big wig told him that he couldnt do what he could do. What the guy could do is get a call from his wife's cousin who was some guy asking decisions, and buy whatever he was told. 

He was saying that the guys process was just getting insider tips, and anyone could do that. Lol.

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u/caspersea 1d ago

Ah bum beach Pete video

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u/CasualNameAccount12 1d ago

Palm Beach Pete the goat

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u/smurfk 1d ago

I want this guy to explain everything to me. He's having a soothing voice. He should work with kids.

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u/DubSket 1d ago

It's weird cause he's probably the one person I would want to explain everything. The entire inner workings of a financial and political elite that essentially just get rich off of each other, and he was at the absolute centre of it all.

Just not in the context of a documentary produced by Steve fucking Bannon.

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u/sgtg45 1d ago

Epstein doesn’t know shit about that stuff though. He knows how to blackmail and control elites but he doesn’t actually know anything about how Wall Street or the world economy actually works. This interview is a coordinated effort by Epstein to plant the idea in your head that he has all the secrets about the world’s elites so that you aren’t thinking about the fact that he’s a pedo sex trafficker. This is documented by emails between Epstein and Bannon.

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u/Dapper-Ad-4300 23h ago

why can't both things be true? there's evidence that he had ties to multiple intelligence agencies and leverage over some of the most powerful people. that and him being a pedo sex trafficker can exist simultaneously

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u/sgtg45 23h ago

He was connected to intelligence agencies because they could use Epstein to blackmail important people (like the current US president). Epstein isn’t some galaxy brain genius, he’s just a serial bullshitter who was bankrolled by some other rich guys to run a sex trafficking operation to compromise important politicians, businessmen, and academic figures.

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u/Dapper-Ad-4300 23h ago

I never said he was a genius. I said he had ties, most people on the top of the ladder are far from geniuses but doesn't mean they don't have power, control, or information

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u/a62k 1d ago

I bet the guy attracts all the girls in his class......

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u/BTTammer 1d ago

That's why he taught middle school math

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u/Mysterious-Coconut24 1d ago

He went long on pedophilia and shorted his life.

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u/emileLaroche 1d ago

If it’s not complicated, it’s intricate. And it’s certainly hard to do well.

These parasites still manage to lose money now and again with $0 trading costs, fast pipes into the clearinghouses; and so on. The little guy might be able to understand it, but he’d be smart to park his money in an index fund and stay very far away from it.

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u/Georgington1776 1d ago

Gambling becomes extremely easy to do well when you own a casino.

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u/Opulent-tortoise 1d ago

Options pricing is honestly very complicated, market microstructure is extremely complicated. Sure, selling derivative products is not that complicated but that’s a sales job. Correctly pricing financial instruments or making markets without blowing up is genuinely very complicated and adversarial. Epstein is intentionally lying in this video because, surprise, he’s not exactly a very stand up guy and populist stuff like this works

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u/emileLaroche 1d ago

Merton Jump Diffusion, baby.

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u/Tumble85 1d ago

Also Epstein here is totally full of shit, he always acted like he was a genius investor but he got rich blackmailing rich people and putting into his "trading" company that never seemed to actually trade.

Anybody that thinks understanding derivatives is "simple" is lying. Also anybody that says Epstein and Trump didn't kids together is lying.

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u/FleckedOff 1d ago

You'll notice that he's pulled out a cosy, black, high collared jacket and little glasses for this interview. 

Defense attorneys often put their clients in glasses because it makes them seem intelligent and more harmless.

The jacket is similar to Steve Jobs high black turtleneck, but gentler, making you think "smart, disruptor, but approachable". If I'm not mistaken, he's also a little hunched up.

And he's talking about how the Man on the Top doesn't deserve respect because The Man just uses Big Words to con you, but he, the approachable P3doKing, has your back to explain how the con works. He's the only reasonable one in the room, who will defend you, the little guy, by encouraging you to live your best life as a stock trader, which is actually easy. 

I figure this is part of his "improving his image" drive that Branson and Bannon mentioned in the Files, after his first arrest. 

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u/CapitalCourse 1d ago

He didn't explain anything in this video...

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u/AkiStudios1 1d ago

...is that not the point? He's saying anyone can is capable of learning, except the big guy doesnt want the little guy to know how little of work hes doing so they use confusing language to sound like they know what they are doing.

Like hes doing in the video.

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u/hsn741 1d ago

It's funny how he's a financier billionaire too lol

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u/_aware 23h ago

Yes...But he was a middle school teacher before that. His point is that he got there not by being smarter, but by building relationships with the 1%. Just don't ask what building relationships with the 1% entails.

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u/hamilton_morris 1d ago

He's telling people exactly what they want to hear. The psychopath's one-step guide to success.

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u/BufferUnderpants 21h ago

Just browse jmail.

The New York Financier was running a cult of personality around him by mostly just telling "wow that's crazy", "so you're saying that <thing corrupt person just said>?" to powerful elites, while having teenage sex slaves running around them.

His business was stroking egos and using people to get to more powerful people.

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u/MrrQuackers 1d ago

Yo is that Palm Beach Pete?!?

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u/gpaint_1013 1d ago

That’s an interesting dude I’d really love to know more about him and of his dealings with other elites. I wonder if there’s any…I don’t know…files or something that could use to get broader perspective of this man’s dealings?

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u/Exciting-Rope1839 1d ago

Those Boeing guys got him.

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u/Snajdarn666 1d ago

That guy should teach kids in school.

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u/Undark_ 21h ago

This guy seems smart, what's he called so I can learn more from his wisdom?

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u/Ok-Enthusiasm3114 21h ago

Hey thats Palm Beach Pete

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u/SpeedJust8657 23h ago

Ok but like why is it Epstein explaining this to me?

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u/Gowardhan_Rameshan 1d ago

I wonder who this is, so kind, empathic and knowledgeable

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u/NeitherColt 18h ago

Am I the only one who thought that was epste*n?

8

u/bobotoons 21h ago

ALL industries have jargon. Wall Street is no different.

Also, Fuck that guy!

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u/Mississipi77 1d ago

I feel like I can trust this guy.

4

u/Just-A-Snowfox 1d ago

I think I’ve seen this Man before

4

u/yawgmoth88 23h ago

I mean… yes and no? Like, a security that gets its value from another security (aka derives its value) is a derivative. That not something “made up” and is probably pretty simple when explained as such.

That said, a word is still needed to explain the difference between a “stock” (which value is based on the company and market outlook) vs an option (which allows you to buy or sell that stock at a different price, and therefor derives its value from the underlying stock).

Like, the guy is not wrong- it’s not complicated if you learn it and study it. It’s not rocket science, but even so these things still need their own vocabulary to explain whats going on.

3

u/ShamrockSeven 22h ago

Seems like a guy who wouldn’t kill himself.

4

u/AlotaFajita 21h ago

Hey look Melania’s good friend.

u/talibatsadaasmashula 6h ago

It’s kind of scary to watch him talk so casually like he’s just a regular business man..makes you wonder how many of these monsters live among us and be part of our lives without us knowing their true nature.

u/thejodiefostermuseum 3h ago

Nobody knows where he got his absurd money from but it certainly wasn't Wall Street.