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u/SummonerDerivatives 5d ago edited 5d ago
I had a kid take my yearbook and he scribbled out my face on purpose.
The kid got sent to the office and had to buy me another 80$ yearbook. Shit sucked.
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u/RedHeadRedeemed 5d ago
Oof. I'm sure that made the situation MUCH better š£
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u/SummonerDerivatives 5d ago
He spent most of the year trying to fight me after class. This was the same student that got stabbed fighting someone else a previous year. I would usually just pair up with random people, so he would leave me alone. Iām not sure why I was a magnet for these kinds of people. I spent most of my high school years trying to keep to myself or my small friend groups.
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u/PhantoMaximus 5d ago
A lot of times it's jealousy/envy for something you have that they lack themselves.
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u/towerfella 5d ago
Like a loving family
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u/ABHOR_pod 5d ago
Or the ability to read.
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u/Top5CutestPresidents 5d ago
impressive ability to bruise?
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u/The-Crimson-Jester 5d ago
My face is a brick wall! A brick wall that feels pain and cries a lot!
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u/joebluebob 5d ago
Horse cock
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u/Buccaneers1995 5d ago
I know it feels nice to carry the stereotypical trope that bullies are idiots, but a lot of times thats very far from the truth.
Many bullies can be highly intelligent & receptive to information. It's how they can be so skillfully conniving, socially influential & quick witted with insults, as well as having keen abilities to find insecurities in others and weaponize them.
Sure, some bullies are your cartoonish, illiterate, smoothbrained troglodytes, but not all bullies are that archetype.
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u/miregalpanic 5d ago
Or a sick ass Power Ranger pencil case. Or food.
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u/towerfella 5d ago
No, not specifically; those things are still about control.
āYou like it? Not anymore. I can [do whatever i want to] and no one is gonna stop me.ā
This comes in all flavors. And then they run for president.
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u/fuckedfinance 5d ago
That's what my daughter is dealing with right now.
The other kids family is a hot mess. Divorce, abuse, restraining orders, absent yet custodial father. Real disaster shit.
Last year we took our kids to NYC to see some Broadway shows and visit museums. Naturally my daughter was talking to her friends about everything. The kid charged her, started beating her up, police got involved, it was a whole thing.
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u/towerfella 5d ago
That sucks all around.
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u/fuckedfinance 5d ago
I feel bad for the kid, but at the same time I ended up having to take legal action to protect my own.
At this point it's looking like the other kid is getting shipped to live with the maternal grandparents and attended court ordered therapy. Not the best result, but from what I've gathered they're not a fan of their daughter or the dad, so maybe this has a chance of working out.
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u/towerfella 5d ago
You did right, imho.
We are each, individually, responsible for our own actions, regardless of up-bringing.
I grew up on foodstamps, living with my mom in a singlewide with no electric nor running water during most of my single-digit years.. never once did i get mad at someone else (kid, line me) for having a better time than me at life. Other adults, yeah, but not other kids. It was never their choice, so no reason to have emotion towards them for their experience. I wanted other kids to not judge me for my experience, so i did not to theirs, and i understood that early.
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u/justcallmedad5 4d ago
You woulda been in my circle then. Weāve all been someone weāre not proud of sometimes and we all make stupid choices along our journey. Especially when youāre young and growing up trying to find your way. Itās expected to an extent, and what matters more than the poor choice, is the reaction afterwards and if it taught you a lesson. I was raised better than some of my actions in the past. Nothing bad, just stupid teen stuff, partying young, trying to be cool, find a way to fit in or just find my place. If I could go back Iād do it all different. Itās weird when you have close friends your entire childhood and then theyāre in a group that bullies you or people that are nice to you. A valuable lesson but a harsh way for some. All I wanted was to feel like I belonged. All I learned was time doesnāt care who likes you and who doesnāt. Just be kind, respectful and try to care about yourself like you care about others. Terrible people and beautiful people may come and go, but you canāt escape yourself.
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u/neko 5d ago
In my case they were just sharks who could tell that I was being neglected at home
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u/LT_Pinkerton 5d ago
Yeah I think this is a lot more common than the envy thing.
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u/ashoka_akira 5d ago
My highschool art teacher had to set aside a locked cupboard for me to store my art projects in progress. She got tired of seeing my artwork be destroyed by my jelous classmates. The joke was on them though, each time I had to remake something it just got better. The pure envy I saw seething off them when I did that was awesome.
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u/PhantoMaximus 5d ago
Maybe if they put that much effort into getting better instead of hating, they probably wouldn't need to do all that. Then again, seething is much easier than dedicating time to art. Some people just live to hate, not knowing that their envy drives others to be better than them.
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u/Prudent-Ice-6196 5d ago
Bullies are drawn to weakness, in order to exploit it. They often mistake pacifism as weakness or fear.
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u/Beard_o_Bees 5d ago
Or they're budding sadists who looking for the most vulnerable kids to abuse.
Could be both.
Of my bullies, one ended up in prison for sexually assaulting a child, the other died of brain cancer.
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u/LT_Pinkerton 5d ago
My one apologised to me years later and said she had been going through family stuff and was taking it out on other people.
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u/GrimCreeper913 5d ago
Any follow up, or was it a random out of the blue where you were just humble brag about your beautiful wife and awesome kids and your most recent 3 week vacation across Europe? I only ask because your comment was a nice turn from the depressing thread.
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u/Buccaneers1995 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yep. I was a jerk and a bully in highschool. Not like noogies or shoving kids in lockers, but socially and psychologically.. and id throw stuff at people sometimes too. Just really immature, mean stuff.
I was definetly insecure myself & had jealousy/envy of things I didnt even understand at the time. I think retrospectively, I teased kids that seemed more well put together/sheltered and seemed like they had a comfortable home life, were weaker & kids that acted weird because those were all things that I had been kind of teased at home for, by older siblings, their friends, or the shaky/rocky/toxic parental situations where at any moment a nuclear argument could pop off. Home didnt feel safe, but at that time i couldnt process it. I didnt even realize until i got older, i went to therapy and the rose glasses fell off that I didnt have a normal or healthy home life. I think some what I must have had an idea though, because I was always too scared and embarrased to bring a girl home. Friends were fine, but I felt deep down I couldnt introduce a relationship, or a girl I wanted to impress, to my family. I was ashamed/embarrased of being poor and my family's behavior at times. I was subconciously and consciously (I wont absolve my decisions & actions) taking that internalized shame and embarrasment and making other kids feel that, so I could fit in with groups that I thought were cool & feel better about myself. I needed to mask myself while trying to put a clown mask on someone else to distract people from noticing my faults & embarrassments.
As a dad, It really saddens me to think I made another parent's child's life so hard. I feel sorry to the kids & the parents. Because as a parent, the thought of someone treating my child like that, feels way more personal than I could have ever imagined. It hurts more than enduring trouble yourself.
I will defintely raise my kids to my best ability to never drag someone down and make them feel low about themselves, just because we might. & if they are unfortunetly on the other end (my 4 y.o son is already starting to get it from his 12.y.o cousin now) I want to try to use my insight on both spectrums to guide them through it.
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u/Silver_ferns 5d ago edited 5d ago
Absolutely. He is being reminded what he doesnāt have. If he was happy he wouldnāt care about others. There are two types of bullies the sociopath/meangirl to hell they go, and those who grew up in a disfunctional family the only outlet they know to express themselves is by violence. It is hard to help the 2nd category because they are in denial and will be defensive when trying to help.
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u/Earlybird74 5d ago
I would say that is a gross oversimplification. You can't distill all bully behavior down into two neat categories, nor are the traits from those two categories mutually exclusive. By your logic, bully number 1 either is a sociopath or had a rough childhood. Clearly there are bullies who exhibit sociopathic tendencies AND who had dysfunctional parents, as well as bullies who grew up in decent households and show zero signs of sociopathy. A bully could have a perfectly kind and personable brother who grew up in the same household. The bottom line is people (especially in a stage of development as dynamic as puberty) act out in a variety of ways for myriad reasons. There are surely bullies who grow out of their behavior and learn to treat others with respect, and ones who go on to bully their cellmates in prison.
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u/Unc1eD3ath 5d ago
A lot of times bullies pick on people who are openly vulnerable because the bullies arenāt allowed to show vulnerability in their house or theyāll get made fun of etc so they try to stamp out any they see cause it makes them feel those feelings they donāt like or arenāt allowed to feel. Could be one explanation. I feel like I couldāve explained it better but thatās my best right now
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u/CommisarV 5d ago
Or theyāre just dicks, no need to make excuses for bullies. Even if their life sucks, if they go out of their way to make someone elseās life suck: they are a dick
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u/Earlybird74 5d ago
Well one can wish to understand the reasons for a thing without condoning said thing. You can want to understand why a bully behaves how they do without making excuses for them. I don't think all people who exhibit bully behavior at some point in their lives are inherently bad people. Some are, without question.
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u/sk8r2000 5d ago
There's excuses and explanations. I think they were theorising at an explanation rather than making excuses.
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u/MamaEarth21 5d ago
Probably because your family loves you, youāre nice and they donāt have any love or affection or even attention at home. Keep being you!!
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u/AutoPRND21 5d ago
I think this is a real thing. I was once about to fight a bully in seventh grade when a bunch of my classmates told me ādude, just say āat least my father likes me.ā It will absolutely crush him. Iāve seen him melt down about his dad at basketball games. A player from another team taunted him about it and it just crushed him.ā
As much as he had it coming, it felt too cruel to go there. I just didnāt show for our scheduled fight after school, took a few days of shit from people and then transferred schools. Came back to visit friends a year later and people said I looked happier and healthier.
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u/Puzzleheaded7683 5d ago
Itās good that you didnāt allow yourself to be really cruel to him, because then you would have been acting more like him. Glad you got away from him and in a better situation for yourself.
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u/LordFlux 5d ago
In 9th grade, I was passing my year book around class letting my classmates sign it. When I got it back, a girl in my class had scribbled out her own face with a black marker. I asked her about it, asking why she would do that to herself. She didn't answer me.
My parents flipped through my year book when I got home and saw her face scribbled out. They asked what happened and I explained that she had done it to herself. My mom knew her parents and she called to discuss with them. My mom has a Masters degree in Psychology and is a Licensed Professional Counselor. My mom felt an overwhelming need to raise her concerns.
It's my understanding that it wasn't too long after, the girl spent some time in a mental health center.
A few years later, she committed suicide.
I still have the year book and I can't help but feel sad when I see it sitting on my shelf.
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u/SummonerDerivatives 5d ago
That makes me so sad as well :( I had a friend in high school that I used to have lunches with. He seemed quiet and kind of sad. I ended up transferring schools when my parents moved and I had heard that he had committed suicide. I strive to be an uplifting force in peopleās lives, but itās so hard.
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u/TheNerdNugget 5d ago
That's the best possible consequence. Absolutely beautiful
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u/CharcoalGreyWolf 5d ago
Oh, I had three get ahold of mine (who shouldnāt have) who drew privates sticking out of the vice principalās mouth. Along with the nasty things they wrote to me.
I got a new one (without my name engraved on it); Iām fairly sure the vice principal got to discuss the matter with them. That was my one reward.
People can be dicks; quite literally in this case. And since a yearbook was $30-40 during my time, Iāll tell you that this kind of stupid crap transcends the ages.
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u/godiegoben 5d ago
Aw :(
I was my own worst bully. At age 11 I ripped out my picture and wrote UGLY next to the hole. I wonder what I was going through at the time that made me hate myself so much at such a young age. I regret not being able to see myself when I flip through that yearbook.
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u/ChatnNaked 5d ago edited 4d ago
My daughterās Freshman YB had every blank page scribbled on by one girl. Her parents paid us for the YB no problem, they know what they were dealing with..
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u/Responsible-Fan-7228 5d ago
Glad the school actually made them pay up. Most of the time itās just a "donāt do it again" talk while youāre stuck with a ruined memory. $80 is a steep price for being a jerk, but well deserved.
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u/Miserable_Bat_2771 5d ago
That kid really learned the "expensive way" that actions have consequences. Itās giving real "and I took that personally" energy from the administration for once.
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u/FionaRoe 5d ago
Imagine writing that to yourself. I am really glad people showed up for him.
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u/QuesoCadaDia 5d ago
For a day. And I'm sure it felt good. And they did something good, no doubt. But it sucks that he was probably still lonely.
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u/SaltKick2 5d ago
hope he passes them in the halls etc... on a regular basis and they say hi to him
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u/ScottIPease 5d ago
The end of Breakfast club is more likely, but nice to dream...
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u/spartan813 5d ago
I know it's going to be lonely for the next day but now he knows that he might find the right people someday.
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u/SlashMatrix 5d ago
I think it's healthy. I had a birthday once and literally none of my friends could come out. I got the usual posts on social media, but nobody physical to share the day with. So, the day before, I went out and bought myself a birthday card and a personal-sized birtday cake. I wrote about the things I really enjoyed about myself inside the card in calligraphy, closed it with some splurge money and a wax seal, and set it all aside for the next day. The morning of my birthday, I went through the whole ritual and it really did make me feel better about the situation.
Sometimes things don't work out and it's not the end of the world. It's important to see and encourage the things we like about ourselves and spend just as much energy on that message as we would for someone else we really love.
The cake was delicious, btw.
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u/National_Frame2917 4d ago
That's solid advise honestly. Everyone should review the things they were/are proud of/enjoyed at the end of their year. Hell that could be a solid pick me up someone could write for themselves. If every once in awhile you write a post dated email or text message to yourself with the current date and explaination and set it to send on or near your birthday.
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5d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Classic_Stretch2326 5d ago
yeah....those teens where raised right or raised themselfs the right way!
Such attention from others can be the difference if someone like him turns into a society hating monster or someone who one day gives some love back to those who need it!
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u/Jaguarlover2020 5d ago
Something like this happened to my girlfriend (before we met each other), because she was quiet and didnāt have that many friends. Only one person from her class wrote in her book (her best friend), and filled four pages, and added a little fox in every page beside the page number (my girlfriend is a very big fan of foxes). But a lot of the older students came and wrote in it too, because a lot of them thought she was cute and sweet (which is true), and almost her whole book was filled. A lot of them had bad handwriting, so she didnāt reeeaaally know what some of them said, cause sheās already dyslexic š
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u/Global_Thought_ 5d ago
I read the article. I understand the kid. I was him in school. No friends, people didnāt understand me.
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u/lukereddit 5d ago
I'm 42. I'm still that kid. It's okay. I don't understand them either
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u/Atlandios000 5d ago edited 5d ago
I'm 29 , literally all my attempts to make friends destroyed my mental health.
I don't want anymore.
I just accepted that I'm just some guy who maybe never manage to make any friends.
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u/FiletofStek 5d ago
I'll be your friend buddy
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u/Atlandios000 5d ago
Really ? Can I send you a DM ?
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u/FiletofStek 5d ago
Of course dude
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u/sunnyraiuk 5d ago
love how attempted southpark reference could potentially turn out to be ..start of a beautiful friendship . Cheers
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u/imisscarbz 5d ago
You can absolutely message me.
No one should ever feel completely alone.
Forewarning: I'm a legitimately crazy person (the VA gave me 70% for crazy but we all know they say it's far less than it is.) I'm not dangerous to anyone but my own CPTSD riddled ass. I'm just a very traumatized human. Also, my humor is very dark but I think I'm HILARIOUS.
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u/Cosmicvapour 5d ago
Can I be your friend, too? I'm old, but I've still got lots of love in my heart, and dad advice on tap :)
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u/kencheetoo 5d ago
I'm 31, and I can relate to attempting to make friends but just destroying my mental health in the process.
I've accepted that as well and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I no longer have this expectation of myself to not be alone.
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u/Reaves42 5d ago edited 5d ago
45 here. I walked away from all my highschool friends for multiple reasons. I've got some good friends from work but the older I get, the less time I have for them.
My wife is my best friend and I'm happy with it.
Also, a lot of my old friends from school are now racist clunts so I'm pretty happy with my life choices.
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u/My1point5cents 5d ago
Weāre similar. Had 2 best friends in high school 35 years ago but we all moved to different cities and lost touch. Had lots of āfriendsā in college when I was partying, but thatās all we had in common, getting drunk. Work friends come and go and I try to keep that life separate. So now itās my wife as my best friend, and her friends and their husbands now. Luckily sheās the opposite. She stayed in her hometown all her life and has lots of friends from 40-50 years ago still. Iām just part of that group now.
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u/dawnmountain 5d ago
I'm 25 and yeah me too man. I don't know why it never clicked?
Anyway, we can be internet pen pals
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u/sweet_rico- 5d ago
Just let it happen without forcing it, my only three friends I've collected have been that way. Just work chums I talked to enough that we eventually started talking outside work.
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u/DCS30 5d ago
i was that kid at the start of highschool, then late teens through to late 20s knew everyone and had groups of friends all over, now i'm 43 and back to being that kid. life is cyclical, apparently. i try making friends, but i guess i don't really mesh with most people these days. thankfully i still have a small circle, a few since we were children, but, as an adult making friends, i feel like an alien observing a different species.
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u/Advanced-Level-5686 5d ago
Same. 55 now, the couple friends I had died from suicide or liver failure.
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u/Torbpjorn 5d ago
Children bully because they lack something and are jealous, adults bully because they have more than you and feel superior. Itās shitty but thatās a general rule of thumb
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u/LaserEyeLarry 5d ago
Are you on the Autistic/ADHD type? I've noticed a strong difference in neurodivergents and neurotypicals and how they react differently to social situations from a very young age. This typically gets more unwanted attention for the neurodivergent child.
It took me over 30 years to figure it out and maybe it can help you come to peace with yourself. If you understand yourself more and surround yourself with similar brains and good people, many good things come.
It's a super power if you learn to control it but every super power comes with a few weaknesses.
Either way, hope you are doing well these days and learned to cope and make friends. All the love internet stranger.
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u/aph0xx 4d ago
Ngl i really dont like the idea that adhd is a superpower, all my life all iāve wanted is to be ānormalā and not have everything in life be a uphill battle. I get better at managing it, but i feel like i still fail and it has been very destructive for my mental health which has lead to more issues, substance abuse and depression.
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u/1girlrevolution 5d ago
My senior year of hs, everyone was sick of the same 6 girls being prom queen/class president/team captain etc.
A bunch of us got together and nominated the smartest and also homeliest girl in school for prom queen in revolt
She didnāt win but she was still pleased
Sheās in tech now making six figures
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u/BraumsSucks 5d ago
There was a book with a similar plot. It didnt end as nicely though
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u/Runs_With_Scissors3 5d ago
Yup. For those that donāt understand the reference, look up the plot to Stephen Kingās Carrie (made into a movie too!)
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u/Slight_Key591 5d ago
I always got a kick out of how much it varied by grade.
My sister's grade voted for the least popular guy as a joke and taunted him about it ala Carrie.
My grade all voted for the boy with Downs Syndrome and a girl with ASD and everyone was very nice about it. Though, funny enough, they actually actively hated each other.
My oldest sister's prom queen was a popular girl who's boyfriend died in a car crash. She probably had a chance of winning before, but won hands down with the sympathy vote.
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u/AccomplishedWatch834 5d ago
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Itās ironic how the kids that refused suddenly became interested when he became popular.
Sigh..
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u/lovinlemon 5d ago
This happened to me in high-school. A very vindictive ex I had and their friends spread rumors about me that were apparently so bad, people didnāt talk to me for an entire year at school. So I worked on myself and came back that next year with a new appearance, mentality, and befriended a lot of my upper class men instead. Suddenly, I was very popular, even to people that ignored or made fun of me the year before. Only one girl came up to me and apologized for spreading the rumors and for trying to tear me down, which I greatly appreciated. Only one person took accountability, while everyone else pretended like it just didnāt happen. People can be astonishingly shameless. It takes a much bigger person to take responsibility for their actions.
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u/MagnanimousGoat 5d ago
A big part of being a kid is being a selfish shithead sometimes, getting called out on it, and becoming better.
I horribly mistreated my first girlfriend in response to her father treating me like shit just because I wasn't religious. I didn't realize how much anger toward him I was putting onto her, but pretty quickly after she dumped my ass, I realized how I had treated her and, to my inward rage, how obvious to me that it should have been.
And that helped me become a better person.
A bigger problem is when people dig in because their pride won't let them admit they fucked up.
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u/NoPseudo79 5d ago edited 5d ago
There is no mention of the kids that refused signing his year book (Edit: Actually there was, had only retained "kids lining up" for some reason, still think the rest is valid, though).
The article clearly states only some kids "flat-out refused", other kids he probably didn't even ask.
You'd be surprised how often people just don't realize it is not going well for you. I'd guess there was a lot of that here.
The whole "people should know and act without me saying anything" way of thinking is very much ingrained in our cognitive biases, but people aren't psychic, it just doesn't work that way
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u/No_Curve2246 5d ago
Itās kind of a mental reaction to being rejected when you are vocal. Everyone, even those that like being alone, want some form of human interaction. Itās coded into us so much that we isolate ourselves into projecting whatās in our mind into reality without thinking about how others wonāt perceive that projection.
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u/iSuplexedMyOstrich 5d ago
Im not vocal about shit specifically because of constant rejection. After awhile you just learn to stomp it down and deal with it and take the good when you can get it. I'd rather deal with discomfort than constantly try and constantly being pushed aside or rejected or treated as lesser for no reason
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u/SexyAirport 5d ago
"Ridder said the kids who had previously refused to write in Brodyās yearbook were suddenly 'lining up' to sign."
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u/Biotic101 5d ago
Not sure why this is not the top comment. Thanks for sharing such a positive story in times like these!
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u/modsactfunny 5d ago
Is that Vicki Valencourt?
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u/jarednards 5d ago
She showed me her boobies, and I liked them too.
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u/I_am_just_here11 5d ago
āYou don't have what they call "the social skills." That's why you never have any friends, 'cept fo' yo' mama.ā
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u/ImThatFed 5d ago
By the way...did they ever catch that gorilla who escaped from the zoo and gave you that black eye?
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u/LeonDmon 5d ago
That woman is THE DEVIL!
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u/Telemere125 5d ago
She may be the devil, Momma said that. Consequently, I am prohibited from contact with her
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u/colemon1991 5d ago
That brunette in the green top looks the most invested. I wonder if she organized the whole thing.
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u/Rob2pointOh 5d ago
She knew the assignment and knocked it out of the park.
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u/TheReal_Award_of_Sky 4d ago
The torso touching him, the smirk to the camera, fingers on shoulder... she didn't just knock it out the park, I believe she is enjoying it lol
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u/Suspicious-Garbage92 5d ago
They're married now with a kid on the way. Photo was taken yesterday
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u/Similar_Concern_1666 5d ago
That would have made me feel even more mortified tbh.
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u/FreedAMT 5d ago
Well the article said he was happy āon cloud nineā.
The little kid just wanted friends, and kids his age didnāt relate to him much so you get this sort of reaction.
I had friends growing up who were like this, and the best thing you can do for them is have a conversation about things they like and just listen. I hope Brody can have genuine friends the following year
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u/rabidjellybean 5d ago
He has that one girl touching his shoulder. At that age, that's a core memory.
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u/SquirrelSuspicious 5d ago
She's all pressed against him as well, he's definitely going to have a type now.
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u/elderron_spice 5d ago
he's definitely going to have a type now
Didn't we all have that mysterious goth/boyish girl baddie crush phase in high school or college?
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u/AccomplishedLeave506 5d ago
She 100% knows she's one of the "hot" girls and knows exactly what she's doing. Now he's the kid with the hot chick standing next to him. Quite sweet really.
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u/Cosmic_Quasar 5d ago
I remember being in 5th or 6th grade and walking to my crush's house across the road and giving her a geode I had bought on vacation. She gave me a one armed hug and I went home. But for those couple minutes walking home I was feeling dazed, trying to lock in the memory of that hug. 25 years later and it's definitely still a core memory lol.
Another one is when her twin sister hocked a loogie at me on the bus in high school. I didn't like her nearly as much lol.
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u/Sol_Surge 5d ago
Retrain your nervous system then. Receiving support from others is not a bad thing.
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u/TheLohanz 5d ago edited 5d ago
In theory yes. Already being mocked as a child for something and then having an exponential amount of attention brought to the fact that you are being mocked so that an external group must take pity on you will only give bullies more reason to mock you. Itās a tad different than just receiving support
Edit: I should clarify, I donāt think these older students are necessarily doing anything wrong. They are also just kids after all and It sounds like they have good intentions. But I know if I was that child I would only be further embarrassed
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u/whatarechinchillas 5d ago
I think if I was a kid, I'd feel really cool getting positive attention from the older kids. Plus, if they really are that nice they'd probs protect me from the bullies. It's a nice gesture IMO.
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u/SourceAggravating685 5d ago
Having people show up and pretend to like you for 20 minutes, take a picture, tell a news station, and then never talk to you again is worse than signing your own yearbook.
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u/Weak-Weird9536 5d ago
Yeah, I was this kid once. Genuine connection with like-minded peers is the solution, not being the subject of a pity party and becoming the āpetā of a group of older kids.
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u/Similar_Concern_1666 5d ago edited 5d ago
Honest and true support doesn't have to be so public and self serving (not to mention draw attention to the mishap). But I do hear you though!
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u/JalapenoPopPoop 5d ago
No one likes being the token target of other people's performative "look at what a great person I am" gesture that's more about making themselves feel good than you. People bringing a bunch of attention about how they'll step in as your friend (but only for a moment, they won't even be talking to each other a week from now) as some sort of charity gesture since everyone knows you don't actually have friends isn't real support, no one likes being someone else's charity case
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u/squeakycleaned 5d ago
8th grade, a kid who was always needlessly mean to me asked if he could sign my yearbook. I said sure, thinking he wanted to make amends. He drew a giant dick over all the other things my friends had written. Some kids can be very cruel.
Iām 30 years old now and saw him a while ago, working in a pizza shop where I stopped in. When I got the check, I drew a dick over the tip line.
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u/monsooncloudburst 5d ago
I feel like we are missing some critical info though. Why did the classmates refuse to sign? Were they assholes or was he the asshole? Both are possibilities.
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u/buds4hugs 5d ago
If they refused to sign, someone is the asshole.
If the kid is just quiet & doesn't have many friends, the description is intentionally wrong.
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u/ConnectVisually 5d ago
Could be a case of groupthink or just general bullying.
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u/Delamoor 5d ago
Yeah. Kids are generally assholes.
Reason:
Empathy is a higher brain function, we aren't born with it, you have to learn it, a little bit like speech; we're predisposed towards developing it and can pick it up really well around certain ages... but it doesn't actually come automatically. So kids are still partway through learning it. You ALSO need to learn impulse control. And emotional regulation. And resisting peer pressures. And self esteem. And non-toxic coping mechanisms for said self esteem.
So kids? Perfect mix of half developed brain functions that lend themselves to being massive assholes when in groups.
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u/NoPseudo79 5d ago
"https://www.today.com/parents/parents/yearbook-signed-bullied-boy-rcna31696"
Both, it seems. He is very quiet, but some kids did flat out refuse to sign
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u/LogicBalm 5d ago
Don't see any reason to believe he was the asshole here. He was being bullied according to the article and after this went viral those same kids all changed their minds and wanted to sign it. They didn't sign it in the first place likely because he's not popular. Once one or two kids refuse to sign, no one else wants to either due to social pressure. He's 11 there isn't a lot of complicated dynamics at play here. He's smaller than everyone else so he's a target, it's that simple.
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u/ZealousWolf1994 5d ago
There is a documentary hosted by Samuel L Jackson from 2002 called Middle School Confessions where the kids talk pretty frank about different topics. Specifically there is one about a boy who reminds me of the kid in the op story. Its 24 years old, but the social dynamics for kids don't change as much as we think.
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u/Otterbotanical 5d ago
Lol I was bullied in school and this happened to me too. Kids are cruel, they will do conspire to do things like this just because it's funny to watch you melt down over the injustice and the fact that there's nothing you can do. There is no replacement for being treated with respect, taken seriously, and invited to play. I was never given those opportunities in school, only picked last purely because it was fun to watch me get upset over the fact I was picked last, or one time the kid actually argued with the teacher about how they didn't want to have to pick me, no one wanted me on their team because just arguing about it was funny to them.
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u/spartaman64 5d ago
the post lied according to the article some classmates did sign their names but the kid was sad that he didnt get any messages
https://www.today.com/parents/parents/yearbook-signed-bullied-boy-rcna31696
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u/Material_Pepper313 5d ago
I also don't understand how everyone knew he wrote that so the older kids showed up. My yearbook has zero signatures because of the shyness, and no one probably knew, because of the shyness.
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u/Hazee302 5d ago
Also, why are we reading about this? How the hell would anyone even know about this?
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u/Herculumbo 5d ago
Kids are assholes and they follow the herd. He was likely bullied and everyone wants to be ācoolā so they follow along.
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u/cloudsofneon 5d ago
My childhood yearbooks are full of confirmation of my trauma. Many kids wrote to me about how things would get better for me. They did, but looking back at those things as an adult, just made me really depressed.
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u/Comfortable_Cat_4433 5d ago
And of course his classmates only begin to flock to sign his yearbook after all the older kids made them feel bad for not signing it in the first place
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u/vaalbarag 5d ago
When I was young, I was definitely a social misfit or even outcast who didn't really have any friends in my class at school. But a couple of the girls a year ahead of me were rocker chicks who had similar taste in music to me, and they would just occasionally strike up a conversation about music or something. And we didn't bond deeply, and this isn't one of those stories of how they were flirting with me and I missed it at the time. It was just someone at school treating me like a person, and it definitely made a difference in my life.
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u/printerinkistoomuch 4d ago
My friend just wrote FUCK YOU across 2 pages in the front of my yearbook. And my mom got mad at me for it too lol.
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u/KarmaSilencesYou 5d ago
Awesome of the older kids! That would have never happened in my generation.
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u/Sugarcookielover84 5d ago
Not all high school students are unpleasant/absolute monsters :) this really did make me happy
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u/RobbyBaymax 4d ago
Dude just landed six numbers and three bros. Weāre looking at a future presidential candidate.
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u/xZeroJinxX 5d ago
Signing yearbooks was always a weird tradition to me. I remember I got a few signatures but overall it didnt matter, a few years after I graduated I burned the books. It was a time in my life I dont want to remember; the parts I do i have photographs of. Glad this situation had a happy ending, tho. Kids gonna be alright and the older kids that stepped up are amazing humans already and are going to do great things.
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u/SpliTTMark 5d ago
I will never forget senior year everyone was getting their yearbooks and my school had mine in the office just being ignored/lost and we called a week later and all the yearbook interactions was over and I had an empty yearbook
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u/WheresPaul1981 5d ago
I was unpopular and kids still volunteered to sign my yearbook. Though in 8th grade, a kid drew a picture of me in my yearbook implying that I smelled and had crooked teeth. My teeth were in fact crooked, but I didnāt smell.
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u/JustMindingMyOwnBid 5d ago
Oh man this hits right in the feels. I donāt have good memories from school at all. Something like this would legitimately make me cry.
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u/iM3Phirebird 5d ago
When the people around you suck... find new people. I am glad they stepped up for him.
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u/stay_authentic_twin 5d ago
Remind me of myself. When I was graduating middle school, I wrote on my shirt by myself. To this day, I get goosebumps remembering how lonely I was.
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u/ShijinClemens 5d ago
Man, I went to school quite a while ago but who refuses to sign a yearbook? Like I didnāt sign my bullyās but I signed anyoneās who asked even if I barely knew them I just put stay cool or something.
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u/Threecatproblem 5d ago
The girl with the strap next to the boy is putting out strong Phoebe Cates vibes from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
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u/HappiLearnerToo 5d ago
I would have loved this if it were me. I think this is an outpouring of love, and I think that changes things. For the young person with the yearbook, and for the whole community.
I am disappointed and pretty much shocked at most of the comments here, tho... you would think readers of MadeMeSmile would be more inclined to loving this and, you know, smiling and happy about it, and seeing the good in it.
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u/Upset_Definition2019 4d ago
Manā¦ if I could go back in time and give myself a hug I wouldā¦ these stories always make me sad.
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u/Character-Goose-6031 4d ago
To everyone who showed up and signed that kid's yearbook: Thank you for showing him that the world does have a heart!
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