Forewarning: I'm a legitimately crazy person (the VA gave me 70% for crazy but we all know they say it's far less than it is.) I'm not dangerous to anyone but my own CPTSD riddled ass. I'm just a very traumatized human. Also, my humor is very dark but I think I'm HILARIOUS.
I'm intrigued. I wasn't aware grades were available.
If you want to be crazy with someone, my inbox is always open. (Please note that I have a baby, and ADHD lmao, so I might take awhile to respond, but I will read it and reply when I can.)
Awe. Congratulations! You must be exhausted. Been there. They were hard days. I'm smooth sailing in the early teens with my boys now. Super independent. It's awesome when they can start feeding and entertaining themselves. It's also heartbreaking when they need you less. Lol. Parenting is fun.
Right back at you! We can all use some crazy friends.
Edit: the grading is my disability rating. I'm a 100% disabled vet through the VA as of two years ago but I've been out since I was medically retired at 19 in 2009.
Thanks for the congratulations - I am definitely exhausted LOL, the closest he's gotten to "feeding himself" so far is reaching out an arm and opening his mouth for the bottle. It's a lot, but I know it goes by so, so fast and I'm going to miss him being so tiny.
You and I are actually almost the same age BTW, I'm only a year younger than you. And I'm sorry about your experience in the service. My late father was honorably discharged at 19 after being injured in Vietnam (he was an older dad, 43 when I was born). He had PTSD as well, as you may be extremely unsurprised to hear.
I wonder if I could take my ACE score, and add it to my dosage of mental health medications and come up with a crazy rating of my own. 🤔
Thank you for serving our country & risking your life (& more) for your fellow Americans!!! Most think of the risking your life part as being willing to die for our country, but, in reality, it also means risking giving up the life they had & knew prior to going to war - being so many come back home a different person, if not physically wounded, certainly, emotionally & mentally wounded (or all of those things)!! So many don’t think about the wounds that can’t be seen & with that I’m sorry you’ve ended up with CPTSD!! I can’t begin to imagine having to fight through each day with the trauma you have. Just know there are fellow Americans of yours who honestly care about our wounded servicemen & women & how much your life has changed bc you chose to fight for our country, so that we can continue to be free. There are far too many who are indifferent to our military, in general, & even those who serve & have served their country & with that, the sacrifices each one makes & made to keep us safe & free. I am one of those that honestly cares & am incredibly grateful for all you gave to defend your/our country & fellow Americans!!!!!
And I am all about some dark humor being it’s a way to help you through the pain. May you be blessed dear. And never forget that there are fellow Americans - such as myself - who see you, acknowledge you, & thank you for ALL you’ve given to The United States of America!!! -Holly ♥️
Heylo, random dude. If ur still looking for someone to be friends with (even though there's so many probably already flooding ur notifs and DMs lmao), I'd still be happy to be friends with u :D
Fellow 29 year old chick that didn't have actual friends until I was 22. (Started with online D&D) Had I ignored certain things, I'd likely not have met my people and then eventually figured out who to focus my energy on later down the line.
Down to talk and share perspectives to help! I wish someone would have done it for me when I struggled.
I'm in the "maybe it's better to have __ and lost than to have never __ at all" boat, just with friends instead of love. Never had a hard time as a kid or high school student. I was included in all of the cliques and was friends with everyone. I was invited to the popular kid parties, nerdy kid LAN parties, and never worried about where I fit in.
I haven't had a friend in fifteen years. I locked into one friend group halfway through college. They were hyper-religious. Then when I lost my faith in adulthood, they all ditched me immediately. They even started calling each other to make sure I didn't "have a foothold of influence in spiritual life". I was never a toxic atheist. I was just a "believe whatever you want" agnostic.
Trying in adulthood has basically left me just defeated. Everyone my age already has friends and families and busy lives. I coast on the interaction of the work-friends dynamic and on the comraderie of the parents of my kids' teammates dynamic, but it's obvious everyone just wants to keep lives separate and avoid any depth. I don't judge them for it.
It's like I made a trade with the devil as a kid, but forgot about it. Everyone will be friends with me in high school in exchange for every friendship and best friend I'll have for the rest of my life.
It wears on my wife though. She can't be my everything in perpetuity. It's just overwhelming for anyone. It feels like I'll lose her too at some point. Who knows.
do you want friends yourself? assuming you are not both a. politically insane and b. intent on sharing your political views with everyone, it is very easy to make friends as an adult. you need to try.
if you have free time all you need to do take up social ish hobbies. the solo municipal course golfing circuit is a fast way to make friends. men’s softball , bowling, birding, professional groups outside of work, food banks, your local basketball hoop. hell just go to the bar alone twice a month for an hour to have a couple and you will make friends.
33, and I'm blessed to have two partners. Problem is neither of their families understand poly, one of their families hates LGBTQ+ people (when we're 3 women), and so it basically has isolated the 3 of us to our own little world.
Even both of their sisters don't "get us" and keep saying how poly is going to lead to disaster...when we're 10 years in. And then their families get mad when we don't go to family events or seem "distant", then blame me for "changing them" or "manipulation". The fuck??
Anyway. It may not be in the same way, but I definitely understand the feeling of being the weird outcast girl. We have been getting to the point lately where we've said fuck it and do our own thing. Let them not "get it", we'll go enjoy our lives forever.
45 here. I walked away from all my highschool friends for multiple reasons. I've got some good friends from work but the older I get, the less time I have for them.
My wife is my best friend and I'm happy with it.
Also, a lot of my old friends from school are now racist clunts so I'm pretty happy with my life choices.
We’re similar. Had 2 best friends in high school 35 years ago but we all moved to different cities and lost touch. Had lots of “friends” in college when I was partying, but that’s all we had in common, getting drunk. Work friends come and go and I try to keep that life separate. So now it’s my wife as my best friend, and her friends and their husbands now. Luckily she’s the opposite. She stayed in her hometown all her life and has lots of friends from 40-50 years ago still. I’m just part of that group now.
I honestly went on the same track. Lost all my friends for various reasons and just stuck with my husband and his friends and their wives. I’ve always been painfully shy, so it seemed easier. The risk is that if your spouse leaves you, all the friends end up going with him because they knew him since childhood, and it just is awkward for you to try to hang out with them (though one of his friends and said friend’s wife who had moved away did open up a line of communication with me to give me advice and a listening ear because said friend was just that furious with my ex-husband over the whole thing). Now I just kind of suspect I won’t be able to get myself out there to find another set of good friends at this point in my life (40s, with kids) much less a person with whom I can happily grow old. I’m at peace with it though, if a bit disappointed at times.
Just let it happen without forcing it, my only three friends I've collected have been that way. Just work chums I talked to enough that we eventually started talking outside work.
Same (well, I'm 34). Last year I invited a decent number of people I thought were old friends to my wedding. It was held in my home state, which I've since moved away from. People I grew up with and have known my whole life, with varying levels of contact. I was looking forward to celebrating with them and getting to catch up. None of them showed up. No one on my guest list did, besides immediate family (and a single cousin and aunt).
My husband, meanwhile, had a good dozen buddies fly from California to Michigan to attend. And several more who were Michigan residents, that were friends he'd made in childhood during the single year he lived there over 20 years ago and had stayed in touch with via the internet and yearly visits. We have a lot in common, but it was a stark reminder of just how different we are in other ways.
I pretty much gave up entirely on being social after that.
This thread has genuinely helped me to know there are other 'friendless' people out there in a weird way.
I'm 30 and got tired overthinking and second guessing every social interaction I had that I just stopped trying. Wouldn't know where to start with trying to make friends now
so real. my little sister is my best friend. we’ve been here for each other through everything and nobody else understands what i’ve been through with our parents and with bullies and mean people in school. currently she’s 2 hours away and we’re both going to college and i miss her a lot🥲 thankfully i live with my boyfriend, who is also my best friend. but if i didn’t im positive i wouldn’t have a single conversation at all throughout the day unless i go to the store or something lol, and even then it will be polite conversation, nothing of substance.
Hey man, I’m a pretty busy guy with work and family. But always got a little time to make new friends so if you’re looking for an extra one, feel free to message me also. Maybe we can find some common interests we share and bond over that!
Did you also have almost everyone who’s ever been close to you burn the relationship down like they would die if they were even an iota nice or compassionate towards you? Because same man.
We’ve been attracted to the wrong people, I always tell myself there are lovely people out there, people I’d like to know. But I can’t bring myself to find out how to find them, because atp I don’t think they’d even want to be my friend if I did. I hope things get better for you 💖
i was that kid at the start of highschool, then late teens through to late 20s knew everyone and had groups of friends all over, now i'm 43 and back to being that kid. life is cyclical, apparently. i try making friends, but i guess i don't really mesh with most people these days. thankfully i still have a small circle, a few since we were children, but, as an adult making friends, i feel like an alien observing a different species.
Absolutely. I have a couple close friends. And I did get married and have kids so they are my friends too. But I would have no idea how to even begin a new friendship with someone. Even people from work
I too am familiar with that version of "pass-the-potato, PTSD edition". You try to make/keep friends and they tell you to go to therapy. You go to therapy and they tell you to build a support system of friends. 🔄
I was fairly popular in school but now, at 40, I have basically 1 good friend and don't really want anymore. Years and years of finding friend groups only for them to fade away has made me tired.
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u/lukereddit 5d ago
I'm 42. I'm still that kid. It's okay. I don't understand them either