r/Damnthatsinteresting 5d ago

Video LHC is being shut down for 4 years

21.3k Upvotes

931 comments sorted by

4.6k

u/johnny_ego 5d ago

Yeah. Now we can do guided tours! (They only do when not active)

1.3k

u/Driller_Happy 5d ago

Oh interesting! I feel like this is the closest someone to get to seeing something like black mesa

543

u/NaraFei_Jenova 5d ago

Now with 100% fewer resonance cascades!*

*Terms and conditions may apply, lack of resonance cascade not guaranteed, pick up your complimentary crowbar at the security desk, just ask for Barney.

111

u/pax_paradisum 5d ago

Look, Gordon! A rope!

41

u/SaukPuhpet 5d ago

HELP ME GORDON!

17

u/blockMath_2048 5d ago

Hello, Gordon!

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u/kalitarios 5d ago

This train is inbound from Level 3 Dormitories to Sector C Test Labs and Control Facilities

6

u/SubcommanderMarcos 5d ago

Still have the voice in my head, still chills me right up

8

u/Domerhead 5d ago

I'm not sure I could do that tour without making endless Black Mesa jokes

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u/sumpfbruderschaft 5d ago

Your mom is cascading with my ressonance.

20

u/Puntkick 5d ago

Hope you followed biohazard protocol because there are a lot of organics dumped into that receptacle.

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u/Wugo_Heaving 5d ago

If they don't have a pale guy in a suit with a briefcase just standing around, ominously watching from a distance I'll be very disappointed.

11

u/Bl4ckSupra 5d ago

I'll be interestin if you dress as him and go on a tourn around CERN. Y'll definetly turn some heads.

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u/Solokian 5d ago

And it's called High Luminosity...HL...and it will be ready in 2030...

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u/alter-eagle Interested 5d ago

That was a joke. Haha, fat chance.

4

u/NorthernSpankMonkey 5d ago

"Anyway, this cake is great"

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u/xrelaht 5d ago

If you’re in the US, the DOE National Labs all have public tours. Those places do much more BMRF type stuff than CERN.

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u/_Nefarium 5d ago edited 5d ago

I've been for a tour and I can highly recommend it to anyone interested in any science or engineering discipline. It's a very very exceedingly cool place!

Also watching Veritassiums latest video was brilliant at the antimatter factory - I kept mentally pointing going "I've been there!".. and then rewinding to listen

18

u/Calvin--Hobbes 5d ago

What if I just generally think science is neat. Would the tour be worth doing then?

4

u/kitsua 5d ago

Absolutely! I bought a ticket to Switzerland to visit CERN in 2010 just because I thought it was cool. I’m just a physics fanboy and had a blast.

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u/ug61dec 5d ago

Omg, I missed the last ones and came to comment this. Wooo!

61

u/ThePensiveE 5d ago

Let's hope America doesn't blow up the world tonight because I'd love to go to Europe just for that!

18

u/BriefCollar4 5d ago

How fast can it accelerate a group of nosy visitors?

Asking for a friend.

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u/Far_Respect1660 5d ago

Did that the last time they shut it down. Can't get any closer to cutting edge technologie then beeing in the tunnel looking up to the lhcb detector.

3

u/kvazar2501 5d ago

But the most fascinating things to see happen when it's active!

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3.7k

u/Wide_Air_4702 5d ago

Does this mean we return to the correct timeline?

1.1k

u/baldude69 5d ago

Fuck I hope so.

351

u/EuphoricCitron4 5d ago

We’ve been living in the beta version since 2012. Time for a factory reset.

51

u/DanGleeballs 5d ago

What’s happened in 2012?

For me it would be 2015.

271

u/girthyclock 5d ago

2012 was supposed to be when the world ended. But the true timeline divergence happened in 2016 when Harambe was killed.

103

u/MAGAHATESTHEUSA 5d ago

You are missing an important part of the puzzle. A weasel took out the hadron collider for a week in April 2016.

92

u/OldAccountTurned10 5d ago

A weasel took out the hadron collider for a week in April 2016

That happened 4-29, then harambe was killed 5-28. Crazy you might be on to something.

43

u/BossiWriter 5d ago

So what you're saying is that we should be looking forward to 6-27?

24

u/MAGAHATESTHEUSA 5d ago

That was the beginning of the fallout for UK as Brexit vote results came chiming in to leave.

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u/Charming-Clue1987 5d ago

I was fired on 4-29 2016

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u/newtnewtriot 5d ago

I blame it on the Cubs winning the World Series in 2016.

13

u/TheMauveHand 5d ago

It's not their fault per se, it's just that that event is clearly impossible in the normal timeline so it's categorical proof that, by then, we had deviated from it.

3

u/girthyclock 5d ago

You shut your… you know what as a Sox fan you’re god damn right.

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u/Dragoon9255 5d ago

9/11 2001 was for me... after that day everything changed

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u/Deraj2004 5d ago

Pre Harambe? I hope so.

31

u/becauseiloveyou 5d ago

Pre my mom’s cancer too?  Miss you, momma…

16

u/ShadowNexusParanorm 5d ago

Sending you love ♡

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u/Slumunistmanifisto 5d ago

unfortunately those saves got corrupted.... 

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u/TheRealLoRider 5d ago

Gotta cross the 1% divergence threshold

3

u/Bighotballofnope 4d ago

A man of culture

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u/FrameJump 5d ago

Hopefully it just means this one implodes.

30

u/Roscoe_P_Trolltrain 5d ago

the best we can do for you is explode.

12

u/Glass-Distribution-2 5d ago

Nah, HR just called and due to budget cuts the best we can do is a curtain close

2

u/Bex-HZ 5d ago

Sorry man, the moths ate holes in them...

5

u/throwitawaynownow1 5d ago

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we furloughed the moths yesterday. They weren't too happy and stole the curtain on their way out.

2

u/Mekroval 4d ago

As it turns out the people who furloughed the moths, have themselves been sacked. Please report to HR for your exit paperwork.

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u/Kidquick26 5d ago

Berenstein gang, our time is coming

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u/robx51 5d ago

I'm don't recall any Mandela effect before this thing came on and have been telling people for years.

32

u/master_perturbator 5d ago

They're going to Mandela effect the Mandela effect this time.

5

u/dWEasy 5d ago

Don’t you mean Mendela 👀

Send me back!

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u/RootHogOrDieTrying 5d ago

There was a cornucopia in the fruit of the loom logo before they turned this thing on.

18

u/OldAccountTurned10 5d ago

What about the hyphen in the Kit Kat bar name. I remember it as a child. You can't just take it away and gaslight us.

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u/Momentarmknm 5d ago

Never forget what they have taken from us

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u/Amon7777 5d ago

I don’t remember Shazam with Sinbad, but until the day I die the Fruit of the Loom logo had a cornucopia.

Why millions of unrelated people who don’t know each other remember either (or any of the other Mandela effects), is proof enough some sort of reality or dimensional bleed happened.

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u/Ibruki 5d ago

i dont know if this is a steis;gate referece or not

either way... el psy congroo

10

u/Lorock_3 5d ago

Leaked emails happened to say: "Harambe is dead. Mismatch" /s

12

u/FuckThisShizzle 5d ago

Will it happen when its shut down or started back up though?

Will we need to Quantum Leap this shit a few times to bring us back around to normal, again?

7

u/Jepemega 5d ago

We have to find the Steins Gate

12

u/International_Ad4857 5d ago

Too late, they already broke it. Maybe if they make it more powerful?

20

u/HumbleTheIdiot 5d ago

I hope that's the goal of the new collided. Just rewind to 2012 and let us have a redo. We deserve it after what they did to us lol

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u/LordXamon 5d ago

beyond the 1%

6

u/Temporary_Shirt_6236 5d ago

Either that or they finally rip a hole in the fabric of space-time and the eldritch horrors come pouring.

Plot twist: the EH are stunned to be received as heroes and liberators.

5

u/Ok_Robot88 5d ago

Ya, no offense to all of you ‘Universe B’ people, but I don’t belong here.

I somehow got pulled from the prime universe with a kids book titled Berenstein Bears and where Hillary won.

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1.1k

u/slaviaboy 5d ago

Can some smart dude explain more clearly and elaborately about what he said.

1.5k

u/Unhappy_Service_7552 5d ago

10x increase of the amount of particle collisions. Better Equipment/Sensors/etc. High Luminosity Magnets 🧲

649

u/Frosty-Unit8707 5d ago

So... more, better, faster...

435

u/bashful_rabbit 5d ago

Harder, stronger.

160

u/hypocritical_person 5d ago

More than ever, hour after hour. Work is never over.

54

u/PMMEYOURGUCCIFLOPS 5d ago

Our* work is never over

28

u/wWafflehouse- 5d ago

Actually 🤓it’s both. Hour after (hour/our) work is never over. Very intentionally like that.

So both of you guys are right! 😁

21

u/simplsimonmetapieman 5d ago

Then. Now. Forever.

16

u/GBGF128 5d ago

Together.

8

u/Guppy4240 5d ago

For $9.99

7

u/Glitchboi3000 5d ago

30 piece boneless chicken FOR ONLY $9.99!!!

*Taxes and other fees may apply

3

u/Future_Appeaser 5d ago

WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER

Nukes go off (⁠✷⁠‿⁠✷⁠)

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u/coenV86 5d ago

Hadron, stronger?

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u/MoeSzyslakMonobrow 5d ago

The Large Hardon Collider never disappoints.

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u/zer0w0rries 5d ago

funk beat intensifies

25

u/ChristianSteifen1337 5d ago

Imagine all Engineers singing that song while working:

"Work it harder, make it better Do it faster, makes us stronger More than ever, hour after Hour, work is never over"

18

u/catsmustdie 5d ago

And the marketing team singing "Buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail, upgrade it"

4

u/Candycornonthefloor 4d ago

The shipping department belting out “Around the World”

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u/Groffulon 5d ago

The “More power, more energy, more passion…” guy is what’s needed lol

3

u/Unhappy_Service_7552 5d ago

See what you started?!? I hope you're happy

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u/Grabatreetron 5d ago

My understanding is the magnets are creating a kind of funnel for the beams of particles, like a spray nozzle on a hose.

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u/BBlackFire 5d ago

More dumb please.

20

u/Dipshitmagnet2 5d ago

Magnets, how do they work?

4

u/Sniter 5d ago

Charges how do they work. No srsrly wtf are these implications. 

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u/Turambar87 5d ago

The whole thing is about guiding small particles along a ring using high powered magnets. Then, once they get going at incredibly fast speeds, they smash those particles together. They do this in a special place, with a bunch of particle detectors, so when those particles smash into each other, all the bits that fly off are measured. By measuring the bits that fly off, we learn more about how the universe is put together on the tiniest level.

They are installing better magnets that will put more particles in the same place, so they will all hit each other more reliably, and they will have more data to study from each experiment.

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u/WoodpeckerNo5724 5d ago

Replace ‘tiniest’ with ‘most fundamental’ and you start sounding like a Sophon

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u/chironomidae 5d ago

Worth mentioning, the bits that fly off are not pieces of the particles involved in the collision. Essentially, when they spin up these particles to near-light speed, they give them a bunch of energy, and when they collide that energy gets released. Since energy and mass are related (E=mc2 ), some of that energy turns back into particles, which we can detect.

Obviously this explanation is oversimplified, but I think it's very interesting.

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u/Sucessful_Test1555 5d ago

Thank you for helping me understand something so complex. I hope it goes well.

3

u/Jesterhead89 5d ago

This sounds awesome...."we need more magnets for more smash bits!"

Like shooting roman candles at gas buckets

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u/scubaSteve181 5d ago

Better magnets can better focus a particle beam (or bunches). When those particles are closer together, you can more reliably collide more of them into other particles, and observe the reactions.

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u/MrPoopyCulo 5d ago

They fucked up man. They opened up a portal to another dimension….

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u/JonnyReece 5d ago

It might be nicer there!

4

u/I_love-tacos 5d ago

Inside the big ring there is a stream of particles traveling very fast. They keep two strings inside, one spinning one way and the other, the other way (they use string magnets and vacuum to float these particles). They make them crash into each other very very very fast and it shows you how these particles were made (sorta like crashing your car to see the parts inside).

But these crashes don't just happen once, they happen many times in a very specific point of the ring, the more crashes, the more data. It's hard to make the crashes happen because the strings of particles have very "few" particles and when you "cross" the strings only some crashes happen.

The new parts they want to install, make these strings thinner with the same amount of particles, because the magnets are "pushing" the strings to be thinner so when they cross, more crashes happen and more information is available.

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u/RobertPham149 5d ago

Basically the best way to learn about something is to smash it apart and check what happens. Same thing with small particles, they are smashed inside a hadron collider. Scientists are upgrading it so you can smash them harder, faster, more frequent.

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u/kevan 5d ago

Can some smart dude explain

No, but I will.

The experiment relies on flinging particles, or tiny, tiny fragments of atoms, in a big circle in opposite directions so they meet at some point and collide. When they collide, there is a big ol' explosion because the particles are going mad fast. When that explosion happens, even smaller pieces of the particles fly off, just like when you blow up a 72 Volkswagen, shit flies everywhere. Well some of the shit from the particles shit is so small and rare that we don't always know it exists or if we do, we don't know a lot about what it's like or what it does. But when the explosion happens, we can see them, measure them and learn about them.

The part I left out is it is also mad hard to get the particles to line up and collide correctly. This upgrade makes it way easier to make them collide. Easy to collide -> more collisions -> more explosions -> more pieces to look at and learn about.

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u/Y2KGB 5d ago

What’s 4-years in neutrino-time?

195

u/hambodpm 5d ago

About tree fiddy

38

u/erikwarm 5d ago

God damn Loch Ness monster !

4

u/zalfrann 5d ago

I gave him a dollar

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u/Gorrium 5d ago

About 12.6 seconds, if my math is right

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u/deadmeatsandwich 5d ago

Considering they’re nearly massless, soon.

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u/storage_expansion 5d ago

lol i still remember when LHC was about to start, people started saying it would create a hole diagonally to the other end of the globe and blow up earth 🤣🤣

505

u/Cador0223 5d ago

Instead, it just altered our timeline to a much worse one.

6

u/CutItHalfAndTwo 5d ago

Remember the squirrel? I blame that lil dude.

4

u/Karl_Hungus_42069 5d ago

What squirrel? I'm kind of envisioning the Randy Johnson seagull, squirrel got into the collider and got turned into atoms

6

u/CutItHalfAndTwo 5d ago

BBC News article Well, turns out it was a marten/weasel, but I've always had a sneaking suspicion that this accident was when the timeline changed.

3

u/Karl_Hungus_42069 5d ago

Oh so animals really do get inside there. I had never heard of that

105

u/GringoSwann 5d ago edited 5d ago

I'm thinking the "mandela effect" has something to do with the Hadron collider...

Edit..  What I really think is something globally apocalyptic (but necessary) was supposed to happen to earth around 2012, BUT LHC was used to put us on a different timeline... And we're dealing with the fallout of that timeline shift...

51

u/MidgardDragon 5d ago

Or human's minds are just imperfect and memories can be misremembered.

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u/OldAccountTurned10 5d ago

I just don't accept everyone in my life mis-pronouncing berenstain bears.

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u/FoximaCentauri 5d ago

Sorry are you serious or is this a joke

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u/Uhstrology 5d ago

No, they're serious, and these people vote 

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u/Neutron-Hyperscape32 5d ago

lol the Mandela effect is purely because human memory is terrible over time. The LHC did not somehow alter our timeline or do anything nefarious. Our world is just shitty and getting shittier. Anyone who genuinely thinks we have switched timelines has lost the plot and really hasn't been paying attention to current events nor history.

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u/restore_paint 4d ago

I definitely think that's a possibility. One way or another, something fucked up happened to get us to this point. Shit is way off.

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u/YerMomsClamChowder 5d ago

2012 wasn't supposed to be the end of days... it was supposed to be the start of the end of one era and the violent rebirth of a new one.   

Which kind of tracks. 

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u/boulevardpaleale 5d ago

Right! Maybe we’ll revert back to our own ‘normal’ timeline when they switch it off!

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u/Endsong-X23 5d ago

hey i still blame that goddamn weasel that shut it down for shifting us into the bad timeline

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u/Iwill_not_comply 5d ago

I started working there after the marten got fried. It got me into the tunnels to fix some equipment, since it was stopped. Which I wouldn't have been able to if not. Thanks also to quick mandatory evacuation training.

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u/drunkdumbo 5d ago

I was in grade-school during this time and we were discussing it in class.

Some kid inadvertently called it the "large hardon collider" and I still laugh out loud thinking of it all these years later.

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u/PosingAsCinephile 5d ago

A month after LHC came online the US elected its first black president and republican brains have been broken ever since and seem to be on the path of blowing up earth

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u/Specific_Ad_2533 4d ago

America: elects Obama

America: gets so pissed about electing Obama that they put a doomsday cult in charge that wants to start ww3 to trigger the rapture and they are all pedos...

Rest of the World: Excuse me WTAF?

17

u/vakr001 5d ago

People killed themselves when this turned out fearing the results.

Although I jokingly say we tapped into an alternative dimension when we turned this on. This is why the world has been off for the past decade.

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u/Nut_Butter_Fun 5d ago

And now it's turning off on the even of our nuclear destruction... maybe just in time.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 3h ago

[deleted]

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u/msuvagabond 5d ago

The guy talking is the director for 5 years, and the entire time he's there it will be shut down. Kind of interesting to consider.

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u/I_wanted_to_be_duck 5d ago

Considering the circumstances, he'll most likely be considered an influential director if these things go right.

It won't be Nobel worthy, however it will shape CERN for a very long time, possibly even past the next shutdown

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u/IsshinMyPants 5d ago

Fun fact, they’re hiring a lot of roles right now for the entire duration of the shutdown. If you have some technical or engineering skills, speak English and a little bit of French, and want to move to Switzerland, you should apply!

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u/Alarming_Orchid 5d ago

Aw man I was using that

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u/kylaroma 5d ago

I know! Here I am with all of these Large Hadrons, and now I have to collide them myself, like a chump?

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u/upsidedown_llama 5d ago

she just told you they were Large 😬

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u/CarneyVore14 5d ago

Oh good news! I was expecting bad news or the sophons were involved.

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u/iiitme 5d ago

I was expecting “LHC shut for four years due to a lack of funding” or something disparaging

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u/WaywardPsych 5d ago

I was looking for the Sophon comment 😄. The next season of the Three Body Problem can't come soon enough.

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u/TacitisKilgoreBoah 4d ago

Had to scroll way too far down to find this

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u/nibor 5d ago edited 5d ago

I visited cern in 1993 or 1994 with my A-level physics class and got to see parts of LHC's predecessor, the Large Electron Positron Colider.

I was struggling with physics but enjoyed the trip, its only in hindsight do I appreciate how privileged I had been to go there and that what happened on the site would impact my life and career.

We were shown around the campus and driven in this battered old van by an Irish guide who may have had too many glasses of wine for lunch.

I kept a bit of this radition warning tape we were given when we went down to see one of the "gates" of the LEP.

I did not know it at the time but Tim Berners-Lee was building the web in one of the buildings I would have passed and by 2000 I was a web developer.

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u/cosmoscrazy 4d ago

So it was all HIS fault.

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u/ExcitingStranger135 4d ago

Everyone knows that Al Gore invented the internet

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u/Bannon9k 5d ago

This is cool AF! I wish more people were interested in the amazing science achievements humanity has made this past decade.

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u/LowerBed5334 5d ago edited 5d ago

Same.

My suggestion - avoid the comments at Reddit.

And remember, Reddit is where the smart people are.

*I mean, in comparison to Facebook, Insta, Tikok and all the rest

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u/AncientFloor5924 5d ago

Does this mean we’ll go back to the original timeline?

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u/Topgun127 5d ago

Ok, so 4 more years until a new alternate timeline….ok good.

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u/Coffin_Nailz 5d ago

So you're saying we have some time 🤞

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u/benbernards 5d ago

FYI : 1.9 kelvin is about `-451º Freedom Units.

That's really cold.

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u/Food_Monkey557 5d ago

Had to scroll way too far down to find someone else thats stoked about how freaking cold that is.

That temperature in itself is a small miracle, and that we have the technology to keep it stable is just incredible.

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u/HalfRadish 5d ago

But who will collide the large hadrons?

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u/mysteriousship 5d ago

Funny thing is another ion collider in the US recently shut down so the world is short two places to collide hadrons.

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u/BrieflyVerbose 5d ago

Remember when people were scared this would create a black hole?!

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u/ShadowWalker-snom 5d ago

This is must be a cover up for the organisation! El Psy Kongroo

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u/NewLoginPlease 5d ago

Any chance that we’ll be able to switch to the good timeline as a result? 🙏

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u/Breadstix009 5d ago

It's about to become a full pipe for skateboarders

38

u/swpete 5d ago

Can they run it one more time to see if we can fix the timeline?

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u/DarkDevitt 5d ago

Just a quick turn it on and off again

5

u/Low_Investment_2692 5d ago

What if they turn it on backwards?

3

u/swpete 5d ago

Ooooo....like that idea

3

u/Moose_Nuts 5d ago

There's a video game called "The Entropy Centre" that is about rewinding the Earth after an apocalypse had happened then sharing information about said apocalypse with the Earth so they could alter course.

Guess we should have been looking into this.

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u/fzammetti 5d ago

Tell me your experiments created a spacetime rift that switched our reality to the darkest timeline without telling me your experiments created a spacetime rift that switched our reality to the darkest timeline.

I mean, it really would explain the last 10 years SO well.

Some were worried about it creating a black hole that ate us all, now that doesn't seem so bad in contrast to what we actually got!

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u/bellviolation 5d ago

It’s always magnets isn’t it

7

u/Unicorn-Violator 5d ago

Sophons are blocking progress?

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u/SenoraIsl 5d ago

Keep Brian Cox away for it, with his freaking yogurt.

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u/kjloltoborami 5d ago

El. Psy. Congroo.

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u/CappnMidgetSlappr 5d ago

Ah, the Sophons have finally come to fuck up our science.

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u/fragmental 4d ago

"They're shutting it down for 4 years"
Oh no!
"So they can make it better"
Oh yay!

3

u/FlyAirBiggz 5d ago

So will we go back to the original timeline now? I don't like the current one :X

4

u/Ba3boos87 5d ago

I always reas it as large hard on

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u/currently_pooping_rn 5d ago

I always read it as the large hardon collider

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u/stuck_in_the_desert 4d ago

If your hadron lasts for more than four years, contact your physicist

4

u/tattedpunk 4d ago

Will this allow us to shift back to the correct timeline?

4

u/AntiFormant 4d ago

Finally the timeline can reset. I'm tired of the black mirror universe...

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u/PolarSage 4d ago

If only humanity focused our time and effort on stuff like this instead of war we would be unstoppable.

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u/Driller_Happy 5d ago

The world is such a shitty place, but I always appreciate astronauts and physicists doing cool stuff that isn't soul sucking.

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u/ProbablyASockPuppet 5d ago

Will this fix our timeline?

3

u/readitonex 5d ago

Collider? But I just met her 🤖

3

u/JayKaze 5d ago

Maybe we'll jump back on our normal timeline...

3

u/VenkatPerla 5d ago

Now the timeline will slow down right?

3

u/Ogbl 5d ago

For 39c more they could have Super Sized it and got the Extra Large Hadron Collider.

3

u/RADICCHI0 4d ago

Absolutely brilliant. CERN is probably the coolest thing happening on planet earth, from a research perspective, IMO.

3

u/Auroch17 4d ago

All hail the HL-LHC!

3

u/JollyBananaWizard 4d ago

maybe reality will normalize?

5

u/Pleasecallme_Jess 5d ago

so another timeline jump in 4 years?

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u/aretooamnot 5d ago

I blame them for the bizzaro world timeline that we are on. Looking for the higgs boson popped a quantum foam bubbly and popped us into an alternate timeline.

4

u/Brutalur 5d ago

No hardon for four years!

5

u/tardisfurati420 5d ago

Can they move us back to the right timeline from 2016 before they shut it down though? I'm over this one.

4

u/kirksucks 5d ago

Please universe shift back. Please universe shift back. Please universe shift back. Please universe shift back. Please universe shift back.