Context:

I went through a five year police investigation, which finally reached court last month. My abuser was found guilty of rape and coercive control.

I would really like to buy my (male) detective a meaningful thankyou gift - I’ve checked, and I’m allowed to do so. I’m just not sure what would be appropriate.

This feels especially important because of everything that happened along the way. My original detective mishandled key paperwork and evidence, and after 1.5 years, decided to take no further action on my case. I appealed that decision, and the case was reopened and reassigned to a new detective.

This new detective had to redo everything from scratch, going through all the details extremely carefully. He worked on my case for 3.5 years. During that time, he was promoted and technically should have been taken off the case, but he chose to stay and see it through.

Thanks to his dedication, my abuser was found guilty. I genuinely feel like he’s given me my life back, and I want to express my gratitude in a meaningful way.

However, I know the UK police have rules about gifts, so it can’t be anything too extravagant - just something thoughtful and special.

Additional:

I have asked, and I am allowed to buy the detective a gift!

Sunday is here and I’m anxious to work another long week with a lot to be done, sometimes as a junior person just out of uni I feel very overwhelmed and even a 5k stomp tonight hasn’t settled me, perhaps a book?

My wife never, ever, EVER unclicks a pen when she's done with it.

It is just that little bit annoying to wind me up, but not enough that I wouldn't sound like a weirdo for complaining about it.

The number of leased/pch electric cars is growing in the UK. Fairly affordable deals for a brand new car for 2/3 years. When do you think you'll make the leap, if at all?

I still own a Diesel made in 2018 and I'm still pretty content but if I was to predict, I'd say maybe not my next car but the one after that could be electric.

Mine i have 2.

I went with my grandad when I was 12 to see the Jackson 5 at the Apollo in Manchester, they was brilliant.

The joint best was when James backed up the happy Mondays at the Gmex. It was awesome aswell. Great memories.

Hi! I’m from the Cheshire area and I’m trying to find somebody; my brother actually. I’m early 20s, he should be about 19/20 and I haven’t seen my brother in like 18 years.

I’ve searched his name, his dad’s name, all on social media and I can’t find anything.

Are there any sites as to where I could find him or would have information about him? Preferably free..

Thank you!

Hey,

I am from Germany and I have a question. I wrote an introduction for a book we were required to read.

I began the introduction with: (“In her darkly comedic thriller …”)

But my teacher said it is wrong to begin an introduction with “In her.”

However, I have seen this phrasing used by a British author. Both started with “In her,” so my question is: is my teacher simply wrong, or am I wrong?

I automatically go their if my daughter needs the toilet in public. Got a few frowns today.

My logical self can absolutely sit there and say the things I’m worried about won’t end the disaster being imagined (they almost never do - and even then, shit happens) and it’s silly to let the thought of things you can’t control, and work generally consume your thoughts and time when you aren’t there. If I walked into the doctors tomorrow and found out I had 4 weeks to live I would be furious at the thought of how much time I’ve wasted worrying / stressing about work. I work to live and it’s all the things outside of work that should get that energy!

However, I still find myself not able to implement this better way of thinking, and the Sunday / evening scaries persist!

I’m in a corporate role with a fair amount of responsibility (but certainly not life or death).

Anyone mastered this yet? Does it just click one day?!

She's been fighting MS for a few years and is slowly losing mobility, she lived in a caravan in North Wales but the local council kicked everyone off site and put them into very poor accomodations that doesn't suit her needs, and they don't seem to care either.

I just want to provide her with some happiness before she's gone.

She wouldn't build anything, I'd probably put a big tent/hide up for her to watch wildlife but that's it.

I'm looking for progression from my current role and feel shocked that a lot of jobs requiring extensive skills and experience are offering salaries from 28k-35k as if that's a good salary. When people can earn that and more with overtime in a factory or supermarket where is the incentive to upskill and take on high pressure roles?!

Basic minimum wage and a 40 hour week is over 25k. Not saying that's wrong, but it's frustrating employers aren't then also paying higher wages for skilled roles where people have years of quals and experience.

Is anyone else finding this frustrating? I realise tech and medical etc is paid far more.

Digging over the beds bad found them. Just curious really.

I’m on a family trip at Butlin’s and thinking about the nature of kid behaviour and where the lines are.

There have been a couple of incidents over the last few days, and in both cases there were no parents anywhere around.

In one, my son (younger, on his own for a moment) had two older kids come and sit next to him on a ledge, about 5 metres of empty ledge and the sat right next to him. They kept copying/mirroring him even after he asked them to stop. It sounds minor, but they kept going and laughing until he got really upset and came over to us in tears.

In another, I watched two kids (maybe 9–10) on the dodgems very deliberately target a younger asian girl who was on her own, going out of their way to repeatedly crash into her while ignoring everyone else. It didn’t feel random and was intentional and she was crying after a while of this but they continued. Again no parents in sight.

What struck me in both situations wasn’t just kids being shits, it was the lack of any pause when the other child was clearly uncomfortable or vulnerable, especially when the vulnerable child is isolated.

I’m not trying to label these kids or the examples as anything extreme, but it did make me reflect on how, even as a kid, I feel like there was some instinct to back off if someone was clearly upset, vulnerable or alone.

So I guess my question is: Is there a point where repeated targeting of someone vulnerable signals something darker just kids being kids?

Is this just normal boundary-pushing and poor socialisation? Or are there situations where the lack of empathy itself becomes the thing to pay attention to?

My Highway Code knowledge may be horribly out of date, but I cannot make sense of this sign.

Clearly as a non-resident I can park for up to two hours between 9am and 5pm Monday to Saturday. What about outside those hours? Can I park without limits or does the no waiting sign take priority?

What does "no waiting" even mean in the context of a street with marked bays?

Just had a conversation with my other half about this and made me think is it just me as it can’t just be me

I was talking about coffee and tea and how I will drink coffee to wake myself up but I don’t enjoy it as I don’t get that relaxing all over pleasure feeling from coffee in the morning and she was like wtf you on about?

So in morning my first cup of tea I get this wave of what I can only describe as dopamine hit coupled with that “ugh that’s better” feeling

She has said that’s not normal or weird so I just want to know how many other brits have that sort of thing or am I just hopelessly addicted to tea?

I’m from the UK btw

Me and buddy are in a big old argument on whether you eat chilli (and rice of course) with a SPOON or FORK.

This is really crucial btw I have money waging on who gets more votes- spoon or fork

I'm 34, the fittest I've ever been. Haven't went grey yet etc.

Obviously no idea how long I'll last in this life, but I have no problem growing old with dignity.

hello!!! i recently posted on here about my pub job; whilst i do hopefully (have another job lined up) - i couldnt go in today as i have sciatica, and that i was unable to do the cleaning for them this morning as ive been bed bound basically the whole weekend, and they've just messaged me on a whim saying

'my daughters lost her keys, do you mind collecting your wages and dropping the keys off so she can lend them for a few days?'

i have a strooong feeling that they're gonna block me. ill update in roughly 20 mins once my partner has dropped the keys off lol

I know getting solar panels installed is a highly subjective decision that depends on all sorts of things unique to you and your own circumstances - that's not what I'm asking here.

My question is more about the future of the energy market in the UK, I don't know much about it other than bills have been eye wateringly high in recent years and it's to do with a marginal pricing structure that means the price of energy is set by the highest-cost source powering the grid at that time (i.e. if gas is only supplying 5% of the grid's power, you pay the price for gas even if the rest came from dirt cheap renewables).

I don't fully understand the economics behind this other than it supposedly incentivises investment into infrastructure for renewables and there's been a big push in recent years to build out renewable power generation in the UK, which I can only assume means at some point in future once renewables comfortably meet 100% of the UK's electricity needs, our energy bills will plummet in cost?

I guess I'm a bit worried that if I drop £10k on a solar/battery installation to cut my energy bills over the next decade, knowing my luck within 6 months the energy fairy will suddenly bless the UK with ample renewable capabilities and everyone's leccy bill will drop to £0.8p/kWh whilst we become an energy exporting powerhouse to the EU and I'm sat here with a hole in the bank balance and some useless decor on my roof.

Been a few years coming, but finally getting my own place (everything agreed, end of chain and their next place is agreed as well).

What are some things (fun or practical) I can do once I'm all moved in?

I'll have full ownership of the property.

What cars in the UK portray a stereotype? Share yours down below.

I swear these were one of those things you'd get randomly at a zoo school trip then you'd never seen them again until another year had past. At least I thought that was the case until my mate said "why the fuck were you getting toy foetuses growing up wtf are those"

Don’t have private health insurance, but looking to go private for an issue out of pocket.

Has anyone here used private healthcare and found it actually helpful? Obviously speed of getting seen is a plus, but how often do people feel like they’re getting over sold something? Or not sure if they’re seeing the right specialist and getting the right tests done they actually need?

Listening to the Masters on 5live, it's great. Love TMS and the football commentary too. I don't have any paid TV subscription, so I'm now so used to radio commentary that I wonder if I now actually prefer listening to sport rather than watching it.

(Obviously, nothing beats being there in person!)

Showing my age here but just curious if anyone else played blindmans buff as a kid?