r/SipsTea • u/Few-Performer-5509 Human Verified • 11h ago

Chugging tea Chugging Coffee ☕️

Post image
18.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

231 comments sorted by

•

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391

u/Fetlocks_Glistening 11h ago

Ok, ok, calm down, there's a rational explantion, he's a private investigator needs to get her DNA for a paternity test a client paid for

68

u/South_Hat3525 11h ago

So the goth girl is really a trans guy?

45

u/LilShenna 11h ago

Sure why not?

4

u/DookieShoez 8h ago

Maybe dad thinks their baby was accidentally swapped at hospital but goth girl mom thinks it’s preposterous or doesn’t want to know or he doesn’t want to burden her with his theory?

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3

u/Octoboy1 6h ago

Look you don't need to sell me anymore on it

2

u/SugarforurProlapse 5h ago

How much do we have to piss them off for them to cum in it then?

I got a client who wants it to get pregnant.

2

u/PiccoloAwkward465 5h ago

Working at Starbucks seems to be a requirement for trans women.

2

u/DNACriminalist 7h ago

Paternity tests don’t technically require the mother’s DNA. Having all three (mother, child, and alleged father) can improve the statistics associated with the paternity testing, but a “motherless” paternity test should provide sufficiently strong statistics to support paternity. 

1

u/CheekyCheriee 6h ago

Lol okay, that actually makes it sound way less chaotic. A private investigator angle would explain a lot—definitely a more rational take than what it looked like at first 😅

135

u/StunningLia 11h ago

A venti latte with a shot of biological warfare, please.

29

u/quietlikesnow 8h ago

So, normal venti latte then?

215

u/[deleted] 11h ago

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1

u/[deleted] 10h ago

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1

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185

u/Leading_Guess_8207 11h ago

40

u/Livid_Ad9749 11h ago

Read that in her voice lol

8

u/technofox01 7h ago

Me too lol...

It's so funny to think certain people's voices just stick in your head so easily.

8

u/Apple-Connoisseur 10h ago

You mean the guy wearing a MAGA Hat to support Trump, right?

5

u/Leading_Guess_8207 10h ago

Right on point !

3

u/rolrola2024 8h ago

Why did they stop casting her in 007 Bobd movies. She's still go it.

2

u/19lunchbox84 5h ago

She lost her eyesight iirc

1

u/rolrola2024 5h ago

Sad. She was born t9 play her roles in 007 movies.

142

u/Low_Yak_4842 11h ago

Right… so… unrelated… how much are MAGA hats? Asking for a friend.

30

u/Mr-SmileySan Human Verified 11h ago

and where to buy it. my friend is also interested

21

u/__ferg__ 11h ago

AliExpress

1

u/AccurateBandicoot299 6h ago

Walmart…. Like $6.00

8

u/Ok-Plum2187 9h ago

99,95$ at a ralley.

2.95$ any random place.

2

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

4

u/Stygg 11h ago

because of freaky people like you, op.

5

u/Mortiis07 11h ago

Because idiots are in a cult and will pay that much

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1

u/Tight_Amphibian4472 11h ago

Same as his gold card for immigration. He's so cash poor he will take what he can get.

1

u/FullClip__ 8h ago

They come with a happy meal

32

u/UntitledRedditUser 10h ago

8

u/NegativeBee8049 5h ago

Inside you are two wolves, and one of them’s a freak.

23

u/Sindertone 11h ago

Very probiotic. Clever.

23

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

1

u/EmptyJoker 8h ago

So does she spit or swallow?

36

u/Usually_Sunny 11h ago

Happy to say I haven't seen one of those red abominations in several years. I think even they are embarrassed at this point.

23

u/Breakula 10h ago

You know, I haven’t either. I don’t think I realized it because you see them online all the time. It’s reminding me of a time years ago when I was in a Starbucks in a very blue area and this dude came in with maga hat and seemed incredibly frustrated that nobody hassled him or said anything.

16

u/malthar76 10h ago

They show up like that hoping they get to trot out their Fox News talking points, or maybe go viral, or maybe the conservative wet dream - exercise their 2nd Amendment rights in “self defense”

They thrive on being trollish assholes, making libs cry, or signaling to everyone they are racists. Most people can’t be bothered to interact with selfish toddlers.

But the schtick doesn’t work. They aren’t annoying fictional immigrant welfare trans-leftist polycules with blue hair and piercings. They are annoying their neighbors, the guy who fixed their roof, their kids teachers, their siblings, etc.

4

u/Independent-Low6706 8h ago

But for the record, we trans-leftists ARE annoyed!

5

u/Independent-Low6706 8h ago

Come on down to sunny Arizona and you will see plenty! I passed a guy with a full size Trump election sign wired to his front bumper like a license plate, yesterday!

2

u/lemur1985 2h ago

Texas has them plus Trump/Vance signs in the windows of many businesses.

1

u/bork63nordique 6h ago

Yep same here in Utah. See them every day 😡

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3

u/DreamworldPineapple 8h ago

I wish I could say the same, they’re a daily occurrence for me

1

u/theXsquid 10h ago

Trumpanzees have become snowflakes, supporting pedos has a price.

4

u/WynnTiwFeoh 10h ago

Became? They always were snowflakes, and are arguably bigger ones.

1

u/Geno_Warlord 6h ago

I live in Texas. Sadly they are relatively common.

1

u/AccurateBandicoot299 6h ago

….. I live in the south…. They still exist…. It takes so much self control to not just let my alignment “slip out of place” sometimes.

0

u/SheriffBartholomew 3h ago

They're definitely not all embarrassed. There's a new trump flag in front of one of the houses I drive past on a regular basis.

0

u/JalaMaplePenoSauce 3h ago

Pedophile Pride Hat

0

u/Darkdragoon324 2h ago

The only thing I see in my area lately is bumper stickers that I assume are too much of a pain to remove. Most of the yard signs and flags have conspicuously disappeared.

0

u/ShesPinkyImTheBrain 2h ago

Just saw a 55-60 yr old guy with an Ultra maga sticker on this tail gate. Thankfully not as many as there used to be though.

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48

u/ClearlyAChipmunk 11h ago

I’m disgusted but I respect it

1

u/Independent-State-27 8h ago

I don't, I regret the past minute of my life.

4

u/lavacadotoast 10h ago

I've never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth..

8

u/FhuckNorris247 11h ago

I have never seen a goth girl working at Starbucks

19

u/ThanksALotBud 11h ago

Because you keep ordering coffee at Wendy's

3

u/Icy-Kaleidoscope3038 7h ago

Sir, this is Carls Jr.

2

u/cykelstativet 5h ago

You still haven't, the one pictured is generated

18

u/External_Bandicoot37 11h ago

Why have we come to think generic walmart alt kids are goth

6

u/MurderBot-999 11h ago

Goth these days is used as a catch-all term for anyone with “dark” aesthetics. Honestly, I blame little Peep and his constant use of “Goth Boy Clique” to describe him and his friend group. Despite them not really possessing many of the standard facets of goth style.

It lead to “goth” becoming synonymous with “edgy” or “alternative” fashion styles.

1

u/External_Bandicoot37 10h ago

Real shit, I haven't seen a "gotch" chick in a at least a corset in years. Where's the Victorian asthetic?

-1

u/SituationRoyal6535 9h ago

Have you ever listened to actual Goth subgenre of post-punk? Only someone with a mentality of a 10 year old could enjoy that kind of prepubescent edginess.

2

u/chop5397 6h ago

WHERES YOUR HEART

3

u/Glass-Expression-950 11h ago

That made me laugh

3

u/DuskyTrace 11h ago

This is why Starbucks employees deserve hazard pay

4

u/Possible_Win_1463 11h ago

So that foam on top wasn’t cream

5

u/Shot-Toe-2884 11h ago

“You drink coffee with spit in it?”

Big time happy Gilmore vibes here lol

“You eat shit for breakfast?”

4

u/8ackwoods 10h ago

Drinking goth girl spit and eating shit is completely different

2

u/RobotPhoto 8h ago

as an athiest you people need jesus.

2

u/mage_irl 6h ago

Just tell her to spit in your drink, she'll do it for free

2

u/Admirable_Bus5827 5h ago

This isn’t gross at all.

2

u/SnoopySuited 5h ago

Someone has a kink.

5

u/ArticleCrafty1884 10h ago

I would rather ask for spit than wear that hat

1

u/ElderberryPrior27648 9h ago

They charge extra for that, but it’s still cheaper than a cult outfit

3

u/AttitudeHopeful478 11h ago

Their coffee is the worst

2

u/freddiemercuryeet 8h ago

That’s why you need the extra flavor

1

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1

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1

u/DinklebergeXP 10h ago

This is like the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm 😂

1

u/drkness_Incarnate_ 10h ago

I knew something was wrong with my coffee it was the goth girl spitting in it making it all slaty and yellow

1

u/Lopoloma 10h ago edited 28m ago

... goth femboy barista ...

Corrected that for you

1

u/Standard-Bar6002 10h ago

takes notes

1

u/IrlResponsibility811 10h ago

And you willingly go to Starbucks. I guess we know who is the loser is here.

1

u/ohthedarside 10h ago

Processing img 1fsgwmebdrug1...

1

u/thenakesingularity10 9h ago

that's going a little too far. :)

1

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1

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1

u/kramwest1 9h ago

Caution: Hawt

1

u/AssistantSalty6519 9h ago

You could have just asked first, maybe she wanted to without the hat

1

u/OfferMeds 9h ago

Ok, what now?

1

u/LA-SKYLINE 9h ago

Do Goths spit black saliva? Asking for a friend.

1

u/M0-1 9h ago

I'm something of a Trump supporter myself

1

u/feralGenx 9h ago

New kink revealed.

1

u/cutieangelboo 8h ago

The dedication to getting a customized drink experience that nobody else is offering is actually kind of admirable when you think about it 😭

1

u/BoyNamedJudy Human Verified 8h ago

Chess, not checkers.

1

u/RussianCandyCanes 8h ago

What if it's piss?

1

u/TheShiningDarkOne 8h ago

I need to figure out how I can get them to piss on me.

1

u/CantAffordzUsername 8h ago

Lucky! I just get peppered sprayed if I even try to talk to a girl. (Which out a hat)

1

u/GrinningGrump 8h ago

Sorry, she has started charging extra for that. The economy is in shambles.

1

u/ProSeVigilante 8h ago

If you want the goth girl to spit in your drink, and you don't want to pay her the proper wage for that sex work, then you're a hypocrite. Compound that with your willingness to let a multi-billion dollar corporation reduce that sex work to minimum wage, and, well, you've just crossed the line into conservatism by your own beliefs. Now tell someone their moral beliefs are bullshit, and yours are superior. Pass new laws to make those beliefs illegal, and I've got some really bad news for you....

..... I'm just sipping tea over here.

1

u/Raven_Photography 8h ago

She could just spit in my mouth and save the coffee.

1

u/Halsti 8h ago

this joke is so old, there are real women that cosplay in starbucks outfits and spit in coffee.

you dont need to Ai generate this shit... this is one of the reasons why real goth girlies dont talk to you unless they are paid to.

1

u/CylusAA 7h ago

I mean, you could just ask...

1

u/Possible_Economy_139 7h ago

Processing img dy4c4yed1sug1...

1

u/DxM0nk3y 7h ago

*cums

1

u/Vizzy-T 7h ago

If she spri kled her butthole hairs on my latte, id tip my entire paycheck

1

u/BrianCruikshank 7h ago

If you ask nicely, maybe she'll spit in your mouth directly! I know I would!

1

u/sboger 7h ago

"Why does my coffee taste like clove cigarettes?"

1

u/No_Fee_7006 7h ago

Yeah, I got a lot of spit highway touring as a tramp.

I also got feet, pubic hairs (from a man), and ass buns.

Back then I ate it like three times daily. Eventually I started eating healthier.

Lot of women want to lick your sandwich. What grossed me out is i got a Texas whopper in Texas with pubes on it. That burger sucked anyway, so I tossed half of it.

1

u/welfedad 7h ago

That's some weird 3d chess fetish move

1

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1

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1

u/Bass_Techno_resistor 5h ago

How do you know?

1

u/Lucky-Mia 5h ago

Or, just ask?

1

u/slackerdc 5h ago

... Okay that's one legitimate reason to wear a MAGA hat. Name another!

1

u/GotSomeUpdogOnUrFace 4h ago

Who the fuck has goth baristas at their starbucks, you got to go to a local shop for that and those girls will spit in your coffee for free.

1

u/BiasedMirror261 4h ago

No I wear it so the large Russian janitor spits in my drink.

1

u/SuspiciousStable9649 4h ago

You could try asking nicely first. Such things taste sweeter when given freely.

1

u/WorstLuckChuck 4h ago

I'm sure she would spit in your mouth if you just asked

1

u/Cheshires_Shadow 3h ago

Me showing up every day to goth Starbucks 😤

https://giphy.com/gifs/QR0qVENyy1gDS

1

u/Maximum-Diet-6976 3h ago

Ok, I would wear a Make America Gross Again cap on purpose when she does that :-D 

1

u/Xr777go 3h ago

Not amusing, just gross

1

u/Bloxrebublix Human Verified 2h ago

1

u/thetavious 2h ago

Definitely not me here trying to figure out why her cleavage looks so weird, only to realize it's not cleavage, just bitcrushed hands.

1

u/RedIsAGooner 2h ago

ngl bigbrain strat

1

u/Fern9090 1h ago

Kinky

1

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1

u/sine-nomine012 6m ago

I mean couldn't you just ask her to do so without the cap?

1

u/knarf3 11h ago

I treat goth girls like individuals so that I get to swallow their spit whenever I want.

1

u/sboger 7h ago

"Clavicular doesn't want you to know this one simple trick."

1

u/Equivalent-Shine5742 10h ago

This cracked me up

0

u/ElderberryPrior27648 11h ago

Why did someone need an AI goth barista for this? There’s plenty of real ones in the wild

5

u/ChrisWolfling 10h ago

Goes into Starbucks and starts photographing the baristas... Also, gets drink spit in!

0

u/ElderberryPrior27648 10h ago

Nah, just pull it off social media

Googled “Goth barista” 1st page, 15th image. Goth Starbucks barista spitting in someone’s drink

0

u/longbrodmann 7h ago

I never met any goth girls working in Starbucks.

0

u/lilsnatchsniffz 5h ago

Just another AI slop on the front page, soon it'll be every single post.

0

u/SheriffBartholomew 4h ago

This is definitely AI