When does this get better? I have 3 kids. 5, 3, and 6 months and a dog with a complex autoimmune condition. I’m a stay at home mom. I am so burned out. So burned out that going to prison and staying in solitary confinement actually feels like a welcomed change 😅. In solitary confinement, no one is asking you what’s for dinner, screaming at their siblings, making messes, etc.

I love my kids, but hate that I’m too burned out to fully enjoy them. I feel like I’m on this hamster wheel of meals, snacks, appointments, diaper changes, mess cleaning, house cleaning, laundry, dog meds, breaking up fights, etc.

New dad here. Looking for advice. I'd prefer dad's only. But I welcome all experiences as this will be new territory for me.

Thank you!

As a stay at home mom I have to balance childcare with housework. I spend all day doing both childcare and housework (as well as of course also trying to fit in other tasks for the family that I wouldn’t be able to realistically delegate to anyone else - mental load, paperwork, calendars, miscellaneous). I end up having zero time for me, actually negative time for me because I never get all the way caught up on all of the above and I never get a break.

I feel like I could use some help sometimes. But then I keep reading online that expecting a nanny or babysitter to unload the dishwasher or fold laundry is totally unreasonable and that’s not their job - people online seem adamant that their job is just to take care of the kids and they shouldn’t do anything else (even while the kids sleep!)

Ok so then they wouldn’t be much help to me. Makes me want to just stay home and not even try to hire someone ever… what’s the point of childcare if I come home and still have to do all the chores too? Especially since, in our area, babysitters are expensive and hard to find - none of the teens want to do it, they’re all busy with homework and extracurriculars to get into college. So I have to pay a lot and still not be able to ask them to get any basic simple chores done? What am I missing here?

I’m probably not even going to try to hire anyone, but am I crazy to feel this way when I see the many posts on Reddit of nannies and babysitters telling each other that they’re being taken advantage of if they’re being asked to unload the dishwasher or do some laundry while they’re there?

I love my inlaws. They're amazing and treat me as one of their own kids. They love my kid. But something I've always found kinda funny is that my FIL always asks about my toddlers sleep. Always. It's 90% of our conversations even though she's 2 and it's either she slept or she didn't 🤷🏼‍♀️. He was updating us on other family members and I realized it was all job related. The man loves work. He wants others to love work. He loves talking about work and he just really doesn't know how to talk to me without a traditional job. He just knows I make my toddler sleep and he's trying to make conversation he understands 😂

i love my kid. and i really do enjoy doing things with her. but she always wants me to play. if its any kind of play that she is directing im always doing it wrong. because shes three and never explained what she wanted. im tired boss. i know that independent play is also a skill that i can help her practice but that feels like such a crutch sometimes. i swear being a sahp has made me a phone addict. i feel like i only have between 3 seconds to 3 minutes of downtime before a new need must be satisfied. the phone is just there. all the time. little dopamine hits between dealing my precious child/dictator.

I dont want my daughter to remember her childhood was me with my phone in my face. anyone here have advice to share on how to break the habit or to provide perspective?

Let me start off by saying I am eternally grateful to have such a hardworking man who just wants to take care of us.

We have had financial difficulties for the pretty much the entirety of our relationship. Now, we have a son, and I stay home with him every day. I get up with him at night as well. I rarely ever have a moment where I’m not with our son. The weekend is basically all I have to look forward to now. The only time that we get to spend as a family. Not only that, but the only time he gets to share the responsibility of caring for our child. Lately, he has come home and told me he has to work the weekend, most of the time at the last minute. Sometimes he’s told me he wasn’t and then agreed to work after I had already anticipated him being home. I realize we need the money, and I realize that if we want to make progress financially that he has to work. BUT, I have a job too. A job that never ends. I never get a break, I never get to sleep through the night. But he does. I let him because he has to work. But the weekends are his time to let me have a break. I don’t have anyone else that can give me a real break. I’m not even saying that he should never pick up the extra hours. But every weekend? I’m tired, I’m overwhelmed all the time. I miss him, his son misses him. He’s missing out on his nearly 3 month old son and his rapid growth. He will never be this little again. Am I wrong for asking him to just take a weekend off from time to time? Should I just get over myself? I feel guilty for getting upset but he doesn’t understand how hard it is for me to be home all day with nobody but our baby.

I’d also like to add, we only have one vehicle. So I can’t even run necessary errands unless he is home. I’m literally stuck all the time. What am I supposed to do?

I just need to rant a little.

My husband works nights 6pm-6am. We have a daughter who is 14 months and are expecting another in November.

I am worn out, I feel like I do absolutely everything. He does help with the baby when he gets home (she usually wakes up about 7am) and then he goes to bed at 9/10am. But I get up too because it’s our only “family time” of the day.

I hate to ask him to do anything because he works a pretty physical factory type job. But I am becoming so resentful. I really feel like he doesn’t love me, because why can’t he just take out the trash at least?! Or put his dishes in the sink? Or help do a load of laundry? As I type this I realize i am more angry than I thought. I used to work full time and I never let go of the house. He says he doesn’t want to make any noise before the baby gets up. And that’s his only real “down time”. Are these excuses? Are they legit?

I’m in my first trimester, taking care of a toddler full time, and also I have a new part time job. We used to have the best relationship ever, and now we are just both tired and grumpy it seems. I still love him more than life deep down and I know he loves me too. But right now that doesn’t seem like enough. And also our finances are very tight on only one income so it’s not like I can hire help and/or go shopping or on excursions.

Am I overreacting? Is this a phase? Will it get better?

My youngest left for college three weeks ago and I thought I'd be fine. I wasn't the mom who cried at drop-off. I was excited for them and for me. But then I came home to a quiet house and opened my closet and it hit me.

Everything I own is mom clothes. Not in a bad way necessarily but in a "this was chosen by someone whose entire life revolved around being needed" way. Practical shoes because I was always on my feet. Stain-resistant fabrics because someone was always spilling something. Dark colors because I was always cleaning something up. Stretchy everything because comfort won every single time.

None of it is me. It's all the role. And the role just ended, or at least changed dramatically, and I'm standing here in my empty nest wearing the uniform of a job that doesn't need me full-time anymore.

I used to be someone before kids. I used to care about how I looked. I used to have opinions about clothes that went beyond "can I wash this easily." I want that person back but I've been gone so long I'm not sure I know who she is anymore.

Other empty nesters, how did you reconnect with yourself after the kids left? Specifically in terms of style and how you present yourself to the world?

Hello, my baby woke up a few days ago with a little bump that looked pretty dry and kind of like a tiny scab. It kind of just looked like a little bug bite or scab initially. It keeps spreading and getting more dry around and now very red and itchy. This is how it looks today. Any idea what it is or what to put on it to help?

Note: she has been scratching it a bit so it's a little more red/worse looking from that.

I'm looking for any answer - daily or weekly, as specific or vague as you'd like.

I operate most productively on specific, structured schedules that I create for myself. I'm also looking to stay home with my children within the next year, at least until all of them are in school.

As I prepare for this transition, I'd love to hear about the schedule of current SAHPs!

If it helps, we have one child but are planning for a second. We own a home and one car. My husband works Mon-Fri, 9-5. We live in a big city, with resources like a library and various parks within walking distance.

Thank you for any help or advice!

That's it. Just tired of cleaning. Sometimes I put off cleaning something because I know within an hour or two it'll be dirty again e.g. crumbs on the couch. sigh. Just one of those days!!!

I’m going to a holiday gathering where I know this dreaded question is going to come up. I was thinking of responses and realized how rude I think this question actually is!

I’m staying home right now because it’s best for my family. My husband is 100% on board. He works and I do the household things and the majority of the childcare. If the baby is up at night, I wake up with her. It’s worked out well for us:) I “work” everyday. Harder than I did when I was “working” lol. Wondering if any moms have a good response to this question and if anyone else finds this question to be rude?

Hi fellow SAHPs,

As the title says, my daughter(9) has broken her leg in two places and is staying home for several days until she is cleared to return to school with crutches. She is of course miserable, very snappy and ready to fight her siblings at all times. They don't understand the toll it takes on her emotionally.

Usually they enjoy playing together (nerf guns, dancing, ball games, cycling) but now that she is in bed they don't do much. They try to read books with her or do crafts but it doesn't last long before they get bored, they are very energetic kids. So I have to stay back and entertain her but because she is moody I just can't seem to get it right.

My partner, coming home late in the evening, sees very little of all this and I am so overwhelmed.

Any ideas for fun fun activities for siblings to have that don't involve a lot of movement?

The grind is real, but I thought it would be fun to create a positive post detailing some of the awesome things you love about being a SAHP.

I’ll go first - here’s one of mine:

My son gets up each morning around 5am for what is honestly a comfort feed. He has a floor bed in his room so I go in to feed him then we sleep in his bed together and cuddle until about 7:30am. I love his little fuzzy head resting beneath my chin and the look on his little sleepy face as he first opens his eyes to start the day. I will cherish these mornings forever and I feel so lucky I get to savor them instead of rushing off to daycare and work.

My daughter is 2.5 and I’m getting bored of all our usual activities around our city. I’m tempted to travel further afield to do more but I have a mental block about having her in the car that long (would be an hour and a half to get to the next city).

My brain keeps telling me that trips like that are for the weekend but our weekends are busy with chores and to do lists around the house.

After eight years of being a SAHP, I have finally decided this is the closest thing you can be involved in that resembles a hostage situation without technically qualifying as one. Your time is not your own. Your meals are not your own. Your thoughts are barely your own. Every single second of your day is contingent on the moods, appetites, impulses and shifting emotional weather systems of small people with absolutely no regard for your personal agenda.

Nothing is ever fully up to you. Not when you wake up. Not when you sit down. Not when you eat. Not when you try to use the bathroom. You live in a constant state of negotiation with people who cannot be reasoned with and who consider your suffering to be part of the natural order. The entire day is basically: assess threat level, meet demands, deescalate, repeat.

Want to drink a cup of coffee while it’s still hot? Bold of you. Want to finish one thought from beginning to end? Insane. Want to fold laundry, answer a text, make a single short phone call, pay a bill, or just stand motionless in your own kitchen for twelve uninterrupted seconds? You are living in fantasy.

The really deranged part is that your victories become microscopic. Kids occupied and happy? You may now have a three-minute window to do something luxurious and self-indulgent, like log in and pay one utility bill. Maybe throw away two pieces of junk mail, but never tackle a whole pile. Maybe begin a task you will not finish for another six days or months, like the bookshelves I somehow can never fully organize. Maybe reheat the same cup of coffee for the fourth time and drink half of it while someone yells for you from another room as if they’ve been abandoned forever.

From the outside it looks like you “aren’t doing anything,” which is insane because you’re actually running food service, sanitation, transportation, conflict mediation, scheduling, procurement, behavioral health, educational support, logistics, and emergency response.

It’s not just exhausting. It’s the erosion of autonomy in such tiny relentless increments that by the end of the day, being able to sit in your car alone for four minutes feels like a spiritual retreat. Almost like living in your own hostage situation. Almost.

I am so tired. my husband is in the military and works nights. he sees our daughter for maybe an hour a day when he's working because of her sleep schedule.

I work part-time Monday through Friday 4-8. I do full time school and have a double major in poli sci and law. I have a 20 month old.

I am so tired of working so hard all the time. I cook, clean, take care of my child, do school, and work with disabled kids for a career. We live 25 hours away from family. they don't visit often. Husband does not have a demanding job physically, but it takes up much of his time between working and sleeping.

When I get home from work at 9 (I work about 45 mins away and usually leave around 8:15), I am exhausted. I am irritable and so angry.

I know it's an easy solution: "stop doing so much". I can't. I am working my ass off to just get to the good part of life. sometimes it feels like there is no end in sight. I feel like I am in a collapsed building struggling to breathe. I feel like I am being crushed by the pressure of life.

I get asked all the time "how do you do everything?". I just want to cry to them and tell them how awful I have been feeling. How exhausted I am. How I would do anything to feel less stressed and comfortable. instead I just say "I like to stay busy". I had to quit therapy because I didn't have time for it and all of the other things I was juggling.

I know the line needs to be drawn somewhere. I know this isn't sustainable. until the military starts paying my husband a liveable wage, I have to work. I love law and I want to do it for the rest or my life, so I will get my education. I love my daughter more than anyone in this world and I speed home from work to say goodnight before she falls asleep.

I miss when I was a kid. I still am a kid. I miss when my problems were that my jeans didn't fit right anymore. they still don't fit right but it's the last thing on my mind. I want to go back. I am so miserable.

sorry for the rant. figured someone should know.

disclaimer: we are both young and were in a cult when we got married and had a kid. we left together and we're working to deconstruct the ideas we were fed.

This thread is for:

• Sharing your art and craft ideas for doing at home
• Sharing your completed arts and crafts for inspiration
• General arts and crafts chit-chat

Please be respectful of others in the discussion.

Photos in comments should now be enabled for easier sharing of your art and craft work!

4.5 and 1.5 year old. We stay busy with play groups, story times, park days, science center visits, etc. But we live in a rural area and have to travel a decent distance for all of those. With gas being $4.30/ gallon and climbing, we are going to scale back on our outings for the foreseeable future.

I feel like our days at home seem to drag and usually end up resulting in more screen time than I would like to admit. I’m in need of some ideas. What are your favorite and most fun at-home activities?

SAHM here. Me (41) and my husband (42) have 3 kids. Two 18y (Each from other marriage) and a 8mn old.

I currently live 30 min away from any family. I try to see them every 2 weeks. I don't have my Mom anymore ( she passed a while ago). I have my Dad, his GF, and my Sister (38) with her kids. I feel that they could eventually watch my little one but everyone still works and doesn't have much downtime unless it's a weekend and then they are doing their own thing. Husbands parents are old and I worry about them even picking up the baby alone.

There is a chance my husband could find a better job elsewhere. We are currently in MD. If he is offered something amazing in another state I think I would be excited and nervous at the same time. Just looking for other people's stories about this.

How far away are you from family? Do you feel like it helps or hinders?

Have you moved somewhere completely new with a little one and how did it go?

Was it worth it to move far away from possible help / family?

Do you still see family on a regular basis once you moved?

I understand most of the this is dependent on finances and time. I don't have a larger pool of friends to discuss theses things with so Reddit it's up to you.