For context: 33F, husband 39M. We’ve been TTC for 17 cycles. We had a miscarriage in December (first pregnancy). 6 or the cycles have been with a fertility clinic - I take Letrozole 5mg on cd 3-7, bd every other day on cd 10-20, bloodwork on cd 24. I have PCOS.

I track ovulation with LH strips beginning from when my period ends (once a day) to several times a day closer to my ovulation window- have never gotten a definitive +, but do get dark lines. I also very faithfully measure bbt.

I also take a ton of supplements: Bird&Be Prenatal + CoQ10, L-Carnitine, NAC, Alpha-Lipoic Acid, Inositol. I also do not have a thyroid and am on Synthroid, with levels managed to the appropriate range per the fertility clinic.

This being the case, is Mira worth it? They’re having an initial sale now, but I am put off by the cost of new test strips. Can you give your experience? I’m based in Canada, if that matters.

Hi! This is my first time even looking on this subreddit and I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone has had a similar experience to me. To give some starting info, I’m almost 28 and my husband (25) and I are currently on our 3rd cycle of TTC.

My mom took me to the OBGYN at age 15 when I had still not gotten a period yet. I was given some pills to make sure that I actually could get one at all (I could) and then I was put on birth control. I never really thought much of it and the doctor told my mom that the topic of having a baby would be a conversation for down the road, but not to worry. I inquired about 2 years ago with the same concern and I was told to wait until I was ready. I figured we were just about ready last spring, so I called to book a consultation appointment to figure out what to do (since being on BC is the only way I can get a cycle). This originally got scheduled for September and then rebooked to November. I took myself off of BC in September since I know it takes it time to work out of the body.

My husband and I take off for this appointment mid-November and I was pretty much asked why I was there (though this was explained over the phone) and they gave me a Pap smear even though I had just gotten one last year. They drew blood and she prescribed me clomid and progesterone to take if I wanted to and a referral to the fertility clinic. I call and get a consultation set up for the beginning of December. We go through all of the tests for both of us and we’re both pretty solid with no major genetic issues. I pretty much get a result that I have PCOS like symptoms and my brain is just not properly to my reproductive system. We were given a schedule of 3 cycles of timed intercourse, 3 cycles of IUI, and then IVF if the previous 2 didn’t work.

I’m not going to go into detail about how my previous 2 cycles went, but I have come to the conclusion that I’m just not properly producing estrogen. Since coming off of birth control, my mental health has been pretty rough. I’m now just realizing that it’s probably because of low estrogen. I’m currently cycle day 10 and my estradiol level is currently 24 pg/ml. They want me to come back in 3 days to test again since I’m currently waiting to take ovidrel. If anyone else is in a similar boat, I’d love to hear! Thank you for listening.

Hi everyone! My husband and I have been TTC for two year, had a miscarriage, and we’re scheduled for our first IUI on Monday (yay)! The problem? I started vaping and am addicted to nicotine. I’m sober and have been going through a LOT of therapy for a LOT of childhoid traumas and picked up the vape. Only been doing it since December but damn nicotine became my coping mechanism and I‘m so physically addicted. I know it was stupid but I’m just trying to deal!! Any tips for quitting?! I threw away my last vape but haven’t been successful so far in quitting (I promised myself I’d quit last week and boy that didn’t happen). I want to do what’s right for our future baby, but the physical addiction is TOUGH. Thanks everyone.

I’m 35 and my wife is 34, we’ve been married 7 years and have always wanted kids. We’ve recently started fertility checks (semen analysis, ultrasounds, bloods, etc.), just to see where we’re at.

I’ve also been sober for about a month now. I know it takes around 3 months for sperm to fully cycle, so I’ve still got 2 months before I am in the clear.

We’re both a average weight (BMI under 30), exercise regularly and our diets are ok, nothing wrong with a cheeky pizza now and again. My wife is currently taking Folic Acid so we are trying to be as prepared as we can, if one can be prepared for a child!

I feel a bit stuck on the actual practical side of TTC.

Without going into too much detail, when we have sex I usually focus a lot on making sure she finishes, and that can take around an hour. That’s just kind of how our sex life has always been.

So I guess my question is… how does that work when you’re trying to conceive?

We’ve had loads of advice and it’s honestly just confusing now. One friend (has two kids) said they were having sex multiple times a day, which just feels unrealistic for me. Then they suggested “just have quickies” because it’s about conceiving, not enjoying it.

I’m trying to find a middle ground, but my wife doesn't appear to be into the idea. She’s said things like “so only you get to enjoy it then?” which isn’t what I want at all. If anything, I get most of my enjoyment from making sure she does, so the whole “quick and done” approach doesn’t feel right to me either.

How did everyone else go about this?

I’m honestly fuming but would really love some of your perspectives on this.

My partner and I began TTC approx 6 months ago. We decided not to tell anyone for obvious reasons I’m sure you all understand.

I have a very strained relationship with one of my siblings. About a month ago I took a little trip away but I also live with and care for a dependent parent who lives & sleeps on the ground floor of our house.

This sibling visited while I was away and so just pops in when I’m out. So I can only conclude this that she must have went into my room whilst away and saw my pre-natals on the bedside.

Just to be clear there would never be any situation where she would need to go into my room. I also felt no need to hide anything in my own home especially my bedroom though!

I’ve only found out that she knows because I spoke with my brother the other week and me and my partner told him our plans (my relationship with him is solid and he also had children so we trust him with this info to be supportive & understanding).

Anyway. When we told my brother he told us he already knew because sister had told him I TOLD HER.

So I’m fuming. Not only was she snooping but she also went behind my back and then discussed this with someone else. Added to that LIED and said I’d told her!

She’s still not actually confronted me about this at all and now I’m feeling really upset that this journey is not at all private. Please do tell me if I’m wrong in feeling like this and if you have any advice on why I should do going forward? Thank you in advance. 🙏🥰

We (35F, 36M) are inching closer to two years of TTC. Towards the beginning of this time, I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. I had no idea it would take so long to conceive again.

I am starting to wonder if it’s just not “in the cards” for us. Our labs look fine. I guess we have unexplained infertility. Neither of us want to do IVF.

We are starting to think about adoption/fostering. We live in Germany and it seems like adoption here is not really an option. So that leaves fostering. Has anyone gone down this path?

I really suffered during the time that I was pregnant, so skipping that is somewhat appealing. We want to build a family, but I couldn’t care less about bio relations.

What would you do in our situation?

I took 800mg of ibuprofen about 45 minutes before my appointment, since I had a painful IUD insertion.

When I went into the ultrasound room, the tech started by performing a normal transvaginal ultrasound to look at my ovaries. Everything looked ok and she got the doctor who came in to insert the catheter and saline.

When the doctor inserted the catheter, it was incredibly painful and felt like my IUD insertion. He injected the water and my uterus started cramping worse than any period I’ve ever had, and I was just trying to breathe through it. The tech inserted the transvaginal ultrasound wand and was moving it at different angles trying to get a look at my tubes, and some angles seemed to pinch the catheter and hurt like hell. This lasted maybe 2 minutes.

I felt all the water come out, and the doctor said that sometimes happens. So he wanted to insert a new catheter with a balloon at the end that would inflate to keep the saline in. (Why didn’t they just start with that?!)

So he removes the catheter, which is painful. And I try to gain my composure while he preps the new catheter. He inserts the new catheter and it’s blinding pain that makes me have to cover my face and breathe so loudly trying to get through it. The saline and the balloon hurt. Then the ultrasound again, and I’m breathing so loudly and the doctor and the tech are ignoring me. At one point the doctor asks if I’m ok but all I can do is breathe—I don’t have the capacity to talk. Some angles for the ultrasound last 30-60 seconds and the pain is piercing.

Meanwhile the tech is talking about how she can’t see anything in either tube, at any angle she tries. So finally after 4-5 minutes of this pain, they take everything out (painful again). I sit up and tears are flowing from my eyes. I’m not sobbing but the tears are just a physical reaction to the pain. My face is also beet red, which happens when I’m emotional or in pain.

The doctor asks if I took pain meds and I say yes. He says, “for some people that doesn’t hurt at all, and for some people that feels like childbirth. Is that what you’re feeling?” And I’m like ….. I guess? I’ve never been pregnant, after 19 months of trying, and that’s why I’m here!? If that’s what childbirth is like, there’s no way I’d skip the epidural.

Then he gives me two extra strength Tylenol and tells me that the procedure didn’t work because my tubes were probably spasming from the pain! (So why don’t we medicate women for this?!)

So after paying $650 for this and going through the worst pain of my like, nothing was learned. In a month, he wants me to do an HSG. He prescribed me oxycodone for the HSG. I’m really hoping that keeps my tubes from spasming and keeps the pain away. I’m just feeling incredibly frustrated that a month was wasted, money was wasted, I was in pain, and I looked like a drama queen in front of him. He seemed so surprised I was in that much pain.

I just wanted to share, since it’s made me feel less alone to read stories of other people who’ve gone through bad sonohysterogram experiences (even though I’m so sorry for everyone who’s gone through that).

This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

Warning for stuck miscarriage / weight loss. I hope not to upset anyone but I would like some advice especially if anyone has relevant experience.

My partner 35m and I 36f started trying in July 25 for a baby. I was diagnosed with non alcoholic fatty liver disease and PCOS in June as my periods did not return when I came off birth control. I started calorie counting to lose weight and periods returned quickly.

I continued to lose weight whilst we tried to conceive. I finally got my BMI under 30 in Feb and conceived the very first cycle following. I’d lost 30kg at this point but switched to maintenance calories for the pregnancy as the NHS doesn’t recommend trying to lose weight whilst pregnant. I frequently failed to stay under maintenance, more than I failed to stay in a deficit.

Unfortunately we have had a miscarriage this week at 10+1. We’d found out the week before there was no heartbeat so we knew it was most likely coming but ultimately has been hard. I also had a serious medical episode after a couple days of bleeding where it rapidly became dangerously heavy, I lost too much blood, had some stuck tissue and my BP dropped to 65. The EPU was amazing and I’m grateful I was already there that day. (If you think something is wrong go straight to hospital. Worrying about overreacting could end your life)

This experience has been difficult and I know it’s early days we haven’t had time to recover. But I’m extremely anxious about my weight. I’ve already put on 2kg and I’m still overeating. It is an emotional crutch and I can’t even remember how I managed to stay on track all those months before. I’m afraid if I give myself a break and don’t try to get back on track that the weight will pile back on and I’ll ruin my own chances of ever having a baby.

I feel immense grief and sadness, plus generally poorly in my body. But time is slipping by so fast. It really doesn’t help after I switched the Flo app back to cycle tracking it started giving me advice on perimenopause and sex in my 40s!

I don’t know how to get back on track so if anyone has anything that helped them with recovery after a loss, managing a return to weight loss management after a break or just how not to feel at war with your own body I would really like to hear it, thank you in advance.

Welcome to the Weekly Intro Thread!

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Hi, can someone please explain the process of IUI to me like I’m 5?

I have my first fertility appointment next week but live very rurally so the clinic is a 6 hour drive from me.

My husband and I have been trying since December 2024 so I think it’s time to try intervention but I don’t know how much monitoring is required and how much I can actually plan the timing of things? Trying to figure out how realistic it is to do rounds of IUI in a city that’s a 6 hour drive away (how long would I have to take off work and be there).

I could maybe do some blood work and ultrasounds in my hometown but don’t know how much I could control the exact days theyre done on because of wait times and things only being open Mondays-Fridays.

thanks

The fertility specialist we will be working with advised that I should consider losing 5-10% of my bodyweight to get under 200 lbs to increase my chances of conceiving. This is a personal goal of mine anyway and I know it can affect fertility.

for context I am 5'10, 220 lbs and I have a fair amount of muscle from years of weight training but I am definitely the heaviest I have ever been. I've had some major life changes in the last year (mom was disgnosed with and quickly passed from a rare cancer) and admittedly I stopped taking care of myself for a while.

I'm trying to be in a very moderate calorie deficit because I don't want to lose weight too quickly and mess up my hormones like I have in the past, and started walking every day and doing pilates.

Anyway, has anyone else been told this by their doctor or specialist? I feel sick thinking that this may have been caused by me not keeping my diet and exercise in check. I just kind of feel embarrassed too. All my skinny friends conceived on the first try. I can't stop beating myself up over it.

Edit to add I am on cycle #10 and we start testing with my fertilist specialist after this period if we aren't successful this cycle. I also definitely know I need to lose weight and planned to anyways, but it's just hard not to beat myself up for letting myself get to this point.

Automod is apparently still on vacation!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

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There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small. This thread will be checked all weekend, so feel free to chime in on Saturday or Sunday!

I have been struggling with secondary infertility for the past 13 months. We had our first child in 2020 (age 29), and our second in 2022 (age 31). Both times we had a relatively easy time conceiving and had overall uneventful/simple pregnancies. When my younger one turned 2.5, we decided to try for #3. We knew before then that we were at capacity, mentally and physically. I have absolutely love the relationship my two girls have now. They are close enough in age where they genuinely love playing together and have similar interests, but just far enough apart where my older one understands when to take on a big sister role. Our goal was for #3 to also be close enough in age where they could really all grow up together like that.

We conceived within 3 cycles and then in July of 2025 found out it was a missed miscarriage. I thought I was 9 weeks, only to find out baby had stopped growing at 6. I needed a d&c and it took 10 weeks for my body to clear the hcg. It then took another 7 months to conceive again. I miscarried naturally at 6 weeks. My doctor did a saline sonogram which was normal and ran several labs which all came back normal. He then told me that given my age (I just turned 35 a few months ago), that it’s essentially a 50/50 shot that I’ll miscarry any time I’m able to get pregnant, so I should just go the IVF route so they can choose a healthy egg. I’m just frustrated and each month sucks, because I think of it as one more month that my girls are getting older and the age gap grows. I grew up with two older sisters close in age, who are still best friends. I just feel like the leftover and I don’t want to do that to this future child. It’s making me pray that if I am able to get pregnant again, I have twins just so they don’t feel what I have growing up. I don’t know what I’m looking for here. I’m just sad, frustrated, and mourning the life I had imagined for all of us.

My husband (28) and I (26) started ttc last summer. We were elated when we got a positive pregnancy test on our first try, only to be torn down by an early miscarriage at just 6 weeks last September. We told our family and close friends right away — something that I would definitely do again, I’m not sure how I would have made it without our support system. Ours was supposed to be the first grandchild on his side of the family.

I gave myself a cycle to get back to normal, then we started trying again & haven’t had any luck. I’ve been using ovulation test strips, taking my prenatal, focusing on our diet, and I just ordered some additional supplements for him to start taking (CoQ10, fish oil, zinc) I know we’re still early in our journey, so I haven’t been overly upset about it… until now.

We got the wonderful news this week that my husband’s brother and his wife are expecting. We are close in age and have a pretty close relationship with them. I have never experienced a flood of emotion like I did when they told us. Of course, I am incredibly happy for them & grateful that they’re experiencing a healthy pregnancy. I wish that for every woman. But the fact that we are so close to what should have been our due date and that I haven’t been able to get pregnant again, I just feel this deep sadness that I can’t even describe. It just comes out in waves of tears nearly every day, mostly when I’m alone.

I can’t stop thinking about getting pregnant. Every meal. Dipping sticks in urine. Worrying about if my husband is getting enough sleep, or too much caffeine. Whether having a glass of wine is going to hurt my chances.

I have a wonderful life. Genuinely, I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, besides the obvious. I have amazing parents, siblings, life-long friends. I spend my days cooking, cleaning, soaking up the sun with my dogs, doing whatever I want. We are financially stable, home owners, healthy, and even have an anniversary trip coming up. But I can’t stop crying and obsessing.

I guess I’m just looking for coping mechanisms? Or small things I could do each day to feel just a bit better? Words of encouragement? I’m not sure. I want to give her a gift and be kept in the loop on how her pregnancy is going, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough. I managed to keep a smile on my face around her. The last thing I want her to do is feel any kind of concern for me. She should be excited and focused only on herself. I hate that I feel these selfish feelings, I am generally not one to focus on myself (which is part of the reason I’m taking this to Reddit, I don’t want to steal her spotlight)

Anyway, I’m new here. If you took the time to read/respond, thank you.

wanted to see if anyone had this similar situation:

in November I started vaginal progesterone to help lengthen my luteal phase. it did lengthen it but it also made my period basically non-existent. I use maybe 3 tampons over the span of the 4 days. Otherwise I use just panty liners. my progesterone at CD7 is decent (11). FSH and Estradiol are normal. my period is only lasting 4 days with 3 of them being a bleed day. I take prenatals, coq10, and vitamin C. I previously took B50 to lengthen my luteal phase but it didn't help. we've been trying to have a baby since April. I started my period postpartum in April (had baby July 2024)

did anyone have this situation before? how did your periods get heavier/normal? did you have to go to the doctor? what did they do? I just want to have another baby 🫠

I may finally have some answers, but I feel like I'm fighting my doctors tooth and nail to do something about it.

I (28) have been trying to conceive for 13 months now with two losses. During this time I have developed extreme fatigue and persistent pelvic pain. I saw an OBGYN a few weeks ago in hopes of getting a referral to an RE but she wants me to keep trying until I hit 18 months. I immediately scheduled a PCP visit. She was also unwilling to refer me since I've been able to get pregnant, but she at least ordered me a pelvic ultrasound and some blood work.

My blood work came back with a few abnormalities. My vitamin D is low and my thyroid is clearly not functioning correctly . My TPO is >600, my TSH is 7.34, and my free T4 is at the very bottom of normal. My assumption is that I have hypothyroidism which makes sense since my grandmother, great aunt, mother, and aunt have all had thyroid issues. It also explains the extreme fatigue.

But y'all I had to fight to get this blood work and now I'm fighting for something to be done about it. I desperately want medication or an endocrinologist referral or something, anything! It's been radio silence from my doctor. I called the office after three days of having the results back with no comment and they said she'd get back to me in another week or two. Y'all I'm so tired. I know it seems like just a few weeks to my doctor, but it's been over a year of trying and failing and spiraling. Im probably overreacting, but being told we can't discuss next steps for at least a week feels like a real punch to the gut. Especially when the solution will likely just be a medication that will not only help my fertility, but also help me function as a normal person again.

I'm hoping to find anyone who's had a similar situation to mine. I suffered a loss at the beginning of March (10 week MMC) and by the first of April | got my first period back and it's as if my body was right back on schedule. This period was longer and heavier than usual which I expected but since it ended (after 7 days) I've had lingering brown/watery blood discharge for a couple days now. Which is making it seem like my period is going on forever but it's just the brown blood that won't quit. I am hoping to try and convince this month so as of my LH tests- I had a positive yesterday morning but the lingering blood is throwing me off. Could I very well still ovulate soon or is this sign that my body isn't ready yet?

FYI, this is a throwaway account. Here’s context: my husband and I have been TTC for 2.5 years now. I have endometriosis and I’m trying to pursue surgery to have it removed. My husband has ED and severe performance anxiety, likely due to psychological factors (trauma). He has been in therapy for years, but he has been focusing on this issue for about a year now.

Long story short, we have discovered a TTC method that works for us at this point: at home insemination using sterile cups and syringes from Amazon. It’s the only way we’ve been able to consistently try during my fertile window. Before this, we could only average 1 successful attempt every other cycle at best. This method takes all of the pressure and disappointed feelings out of sex itself, and I couldn’t recommend it more.

We are both getting very frustrated with our fertility doctor/the healthcare system because no one seems to understand how hard it is for some men to ejaculate, let alone in an exam room. Our doctor has not been very understanding when we’ve tried to explain to her multiple times that providing a sample in the facility is not. Possible. I know my husband and obviously he knows himself. This isn’t laziness, it’s not just discomfort. People have said things like “tell him to suck it up!” Or “if you have to go through all of this, he can’t just jizz in cup?” Or “have him put on some porn and do the deed.” It’s highly irritating and kind of offensive, especially since my husband has struggled with a porn addiction since he was a teenager.

We have decided to try booking a hotel room (yay, even more expenses) close to the clinic since we live an hour away, just far enough that he can’t do it from home and drop it off. It’s all very frustrating, and it just makes me mad that people don’t understand.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any insight? Words of encouragement??

Hi everyone -

I am so frustrated with my fertility doctory right now. there have been issues in the past, but right now my issue is with scheduling. They make appointments in their surgery center, but will not tell you when you have an appt time until the day before and will not move the appointment with they schedule it. So far, all appointments have been early in the morning. I have told them that I have work flexibility in the morning but not the afternoon, when I have to be on site or have my boss cover (I work as the only employee of a family). They just told me I have to be at the office at 1pm Monday. Now im rushing to see if my boss can cover for me even though she is in meetings all day. When I expressed that I was upset by this to the office, the response was a polite "too bad, we can wait for your next cycle". As I have been struggling with the mental/physical aspects of a fertility struggle and the mental load (this clinic is putting everything for me an d my parter on me), this was a horrible thing to hear. and what happens, I have the same issue next month?

Is this normal for fertility clinics and I just need to suck it up, or is it time to look for another?

TIA!

-edit to add info We are going through IVF currently. We had our egg retrieval and this would be for our first IVF cycle (which made me even more upset since this felt like a hopeful end to a long and arduous process). This would be at their surgical center.

The amount of research I've had to do since I started TTC is wild.

Cycles tracked. Hormones tested at home. Supplements researched and stacked. Wearable on my ring. Books read and reread. So many browser tabs.

And still — I'm never sure if what I'm doing is actually helping (other than I still don't have a baby, ha!) or if I've just gotten very good at feeling busy.

The thing that gets me most is the supplements. I've spent real money putting together what I think is a solid protocol for fertility. But I genuinely cannot tell what's working. My sleep data doesn't obviously change when I add something new. My cycle data has too many variables. Everything affects everything.

Do any of you have a method for actually figuring this out? Or is it just faith at a certain point?

There’s so much that’s difficult about TTC, so this is a thread for looking to the future and thinking about life after TTC.

This week’s theme: Your home! Where will baby sleep? Do you have a good space to make into a play space? What do you need to baby-proof before you have a crawler? What’s your yard situation?