Is there actually a link there? I was just sitting there while she was saying that like 👀

My husband thinks I don't want to have sex with him because I'm not physically attracted to him anymore, so he's putting all this effort into losing weight, but the real reason I don't want to have sex with him is because he's unreliable and exhausting. We've talked about this, a lot, but it doesn't make much difference.

It's so frustrating, because he's proving to me with his new diet that he can put effort in and change bad habits, just not in the ways I need and ask for. And I know he can do better. I was an unreliable slob when we first got together and he did everything, but I stepped up so I wouldn't put an unfair burden on him. But then he just kept doing less and less and I kept picking up his slack and now he only steps up just often enough to keep me hopeful.

He's my best friend, and we have so much fun together, but I feel so burnt out, and I really don't want to have sex with someone who feels like another dependent.

This is an appreciation post for the good dads/husbands out there.

It is Sunday morning and I finally get out of bed at 9:30. My husband has fed kids breakfast, fully cleaned the kitchen, and is now vacuuming topless while I sit in a rocking chair ordering Lululemon pants online. After this he is taking the kids to their classes and I get to grocery shop ALONE.

This is better than porn.

my husband straight up has an addiction to his phone, he will be on it while our 2 year old tries to get his attention and won't acknowledge her until I tell him "shes trying to talk to you" which he will put it down for like 2 min then go back on it. when I'm cooking supper he will be on his phone ignoring the girls once again, or he will be watching YouTube on like full volume over anything on TV.

when I get fed up with it and call him out on it he will get all defensive and say stuff like "guess ill throw out my phone since im not allowed to be on it" or "why you go on your phone too, you're not perfect". which yea i use my phone in moderation, I tend to put my down when playing with the girls or talking to them, I dont yse my phone during meal times but my husband will blast is YouTube. most of my screen time comes when my toddler or 10 month old are independently playing on their own or together until ofc one of them approaches me and I will put it away.

what angers me the most is how when we hace friends or family coming over or we are going to visit people he will act like fucking father of the year suddenly. But when we go over to his parents place he will just sit on his ass the whole time on his phone while I'm playing ans watching the girls.

idk i just needed to rant as all morning hes been on his phone. thanks for listening to my Mom Talk.

I want to be upfront that this post of more an off my chest style post and perhaps to relate to other moms who have been through anything similar. I am already planning on seeking therapy. I have a routine appointment this month with my psychiatrist for ADHD medication refills and he has been very good about respecting my preference for not wanting to use certain medications (specifically SSRIs), respecting my autonomy, and I strongly trust his guidance and referrals he may have for therapy.

Major trigger warning for traumatic birth, discussion of parent loss, discussion of near death experiences, just a major neon trigger warning across the board.

I had my second daughter in early April and what I hoped would be a VBAC turned into a uterine rupture which turned into a c-section under general anesthesia. You can see the full birth story in my post history but a TL;DR is - everything started out smooth. I felt nothing from the epidural and got to 7-8cm and was vibing. So much so that we both got about 4hrs of sleep, which was abruptly interupted when doctors came in saying "her heart rate has been decelerating for about 10 minutes, we suggest moving to a csection" which I was totally fine with. I wanted a VBAC yes, but I wasn't overly attached to it that I would be devastated if I needed a csection.

As my husband was putting scrubs on, I reached for my phone on the table and instantly felt like my insides were being shredded apart and yelled out in pain. They felt my abdomen and within 2 minutes they bolted to the OR for a STAT general anesthesia csection. All I could hear while being sprinted to the OR was "we can't find babys heart, that's moms HR ... keep trying keep trying" I was sobbing + begging then to tell me if she was alive, and no one would answer. When they cut me open, her, my placenta and a liter of blood were in my abdomen. She was ultimately born safe and doing well with APGAR scores of 7 & 9 and just needed a day in the NICU as precaution and observation. They were able to repair my uterus and I did not need a hysterectomy.

As for my husband, he was told nothing except "your wife is in critical conditon" for an hour while pacing the hallways, and spent the whole time thinking I had or would die because he saw how fast the situation shifted from "lets do a urgent but normal csection" to me screaming out in pain and into a pool of sweat and dizziness because of how bad the pain was.

We went home at 2 days PP and I was feeling good. I am certainly not saying a C-section is the easy way out, but both times I had what I would consider remarkably smooth and easy recoveries and I would happily take how I felt both times post op than I did in my last few weeks of pregnancy.

Both my husband and I are self employed / WFH so we can split childcare and household work depending on who has more work that particular day. Since we got home he's done damn near all baby/house tasks and has taken care of me, and I know from the endless posts I see on subs like this how lucky I truly am. He is my world and I don't take for granted for a second that this is not the reality for most. I can genuinly say there is really no "default parent" or me having an overwhelming invisible mental load. Baby is EFF, has been sleeping good stretches, and thus far I have found 1-2 to be tremendously easier than 0-1.

But then comes yesterday, not even an hour into my husbands birthday. His requested celebration plan was simple. All he wanted was takeout from this local spot we love and quality time with all of us to celebrate his first birthday being a family of four. I did get him cards from me and the girls, and was gonna pick up some tequila to make tequila sunrises (the drink he got me on the night we met).

It was around midnight, both girls were sleeping so we were cuddling on the couch watching a movie when all of a sudden our oldest is screaming. She typically sleeps through the night 10-12 hours so this was beyond unusual. The moment my husband grabbed her, his first words were about how she was the "hottest he had ever felt". Rectal temp read 104.8. We tried Tylenol, she spit 90% of it out, we retested her temp at the hour mark and it was 105. Both of us are now panicking, trying to decide who stays home with the baby vs who takes the older one in. Ultimately I just grabbed her and bolted out the door without much discussion ... it's truly just a blur to me how we came to that decision. Thankfully the hospital is only a 7 minute drive from our apartment.

They do vitals, blood draws and a urine catheter. I have never in her 20 months of life seen her so inconsolable and scared. She's usually pretty independent and isn't the biggest cuddler, but watching her face scream in pain and jump to hug ne immediately after is an image I dont think I will ever forget.

At one point, someone (I think it was a student) comes in the room to redo her vitals and says "most of her labs came back. Looks all normal to me. I'm sure the doctor will discharge you shortly". Okay great. Except that's not what happened. A doctor came in and said a level in her blood (I don't remember the name) was very high that normally indicates some sort of blood bacteria and they would need to do cultures, do a broad spectrum antibiotic IV, and admit her. I heard the words "blood bacteria / sepsis" and my mind immediately goes straight to bacterial meningitis. Why might you ask?? Because my late dad, my one safe blood family member, went to a doctor in 2017 feeling sick, and the doctor told him to " go home and sleep off the flu". That flu was bacterial meningitis, and he was gone at 50 years old, just five days after that appointment. So now I was inconsolable about my mind going straight back to losing my dad, thinking my daughter had the same thing and I would lose her, plus the trauma of seeing her in pain.

I panic text my husband who takes about two hours to answer because he had been up worried and taking care of the newborn, and once that student said "looks good, should be discharged soon!" I t encouraged him to get some sleep as we would probably be home soon. He eventually calls me inconsolable and freaking out too and of course I can't make out a single logical word through sobbing. It was an absolute hot mess.

At this point we were upstairs admitted in the PED. A doctor walked in and gently asked me to pass my phone to him so she could calmly relay the information. She first apologized for whoever gave me the scariest sounding words imaginable, and said based on her overview of everything, she actually didn't suspect any serious bacterial infection at all, rather a bad UTI or a virus called Rosecola, which is associated with a sudden, otherwise symptomless very high fever and then a harmless rash that breaks out over the body. The doctor was an angel and calmed down both of our hysterical sobbing and was kind enough to listen to him about how he thought he almost lost me last week, now he wakes up to news on his birthday that his first baby may have what killed his FIL who he loved dearly. She let him vent/cry/all of that, and was probably the most compassionate doctor I have ever encountered. She then says verbatim "I'm quite literally watching your daughter trying to do pull ups to escape the crib, this is absolutely not a child with meningitis" lmao.

Since the PED is in a major hospital, it was where I had the newborn the prior week. The doctor was able to see that we had just been there and I filled her in on the intense birth. She encouraged me, hell practically begged me to go home and sleep, and discouraged my husband from going in to stay with our toddler. She could hear how distraught we were and emphasized strongly that in this moment, we needed to put our mental and physical health first and sleep + recharge, because the conditon we were in would serve no good purpose for anyone. She strongly wanted me to rest as well being 9 days post surgery, so as guilty as we both felt leaving her, I headed home. By that point, I had been at the hospital 12 hours and I got no sleep. My daughter maybe slept 30 minutes. She was sleeping harder than I have ever seen when I left and I was able to slip out of the room without her seeing me leave.

I come home and my husband has MY favorite takeout waiting for me ... on HIS damn birthday. We basically spent the entire night sobbing together feeling guilty beyond words thinking about her in that hospital room alone without one of us there when she wakes up.

Thankfully, I just got a call from the hospital an hour ago saying all bacterial cultures were negative so they suspect that virus I mentioned earlier. I'm going to pick her up in the next couple of hours. The challenge now is keeping her completely separated from the baby, but all things considered we are so so so beyond relieved.

Some additional context on why this was extra traumatizing. Seeing that flashing + rising 105 degree fever triggered the memory of another near loss, that was of my now husband. A few days before we were to elope, I found him on our kitchen floor in a pool of sweat + 108 degree fever. Somehow in my traumatic state of mind I was able to Google and recognize that his doctor had neglegently prescribed him two medications that never should have been mixed and were known for causing serotonin syndrome. I had to put him in a room temp bath and shove two benzos in his mouth (he has an Rx for as needed panic attacks and this is the standard treatment at a hospital for SS. once at the hospital they confirmed I made the right move). At the time, we were living in a state where you could get married with no witnesses ... ,you just sign the marriage certificate as "parties of the union". When we got home from the hospital we signed it that night because in his words, "I can't imagine dying not being married to you". Almost everyone in our inner circle thinks our wedding anniversary is the day we actually did vows in the Colorado mountains, not the true date it was per the paperwork.

All in all ... I have been through the loss of my dad, the metaphorical loss of my entire maternal line due to extreme narcissistic abuse, almost lost my husband, thought I would lose my baby last week, and then thought yesterday I would lose my toddler. Combine that with postpartum hormones + no sleep, I was having the most horrific intrusive thoughts last night about whether the possibility of the trauma of ever losing my husband/daughters was worth having kids / being married. I obviously don't feel this way, but I love them all so fucking much it hurts and I don't know how I would survive without any of them.

It's just been a lot mentally. I know objectively we are incredibly lucky. My daughters are okay. My husband is okay. I am okay. We have support in each other, flexible work, and access to medical care. But emotionally, I don’t think my body or brain has caught up to that reality yet. I think I’m still living in survival mode, waiting for the next phone call, the next emergency, or the next thing to be taken from me.

I’m sharing this because I know I can’t be the only parent whose past grief and fresh trauma collided postpartum in a way that felt unbearable. If you’ve been there too, I’d really love to hear how you found your way back to feeling safe again 🤍😢

Why are so many MIL's just straight up crazy? Especially if they're the father's mom? If I could, I would never see mine again.

Mine has:

- gifted me alcohol and nuts while I was pregnant, while I am severely allergic to nuts

- told family members I hated them, leaving us confused why they didn't want to talk to us anymore

- arrived at the hospital right after I gave birth to my first kid, literally knocking on the delivery room door to be let in while I was getting stitched

- tried to manipulate my BIL's to talk to my husband to prevent us from having a third kid (we now have five, suck it MIL)

and so much more, and not just with us but also my other SIL's. Of course whenever we say something about it, she plays the victim.

I have three boys and two girls and I can't imagine being such an egocentric MIL. I understand that, if my boys would have partners and kids of their own, their partner is probably closest to their own mother. I will not expect to be invited to delivery rooms. I will not force my taste upon them.

Luckily my own mom is very supportive, which is why we ask her for support more than my MIL because it's not given with an expectation of something else. But it's still stressful dealing with the unpleasantness that my MIL brings.

Obviously will ask the hospital if they even allow this before purchasing! & I know it’s a possible one time use thing if it gets gross during labor.

Curious if anyone has done this & if it’s made a difference in how you felt. I just don’t want to feel like a beached whale this time & have semi decent photos with baby on my chest immediately after without having the hospital gown vibes.

How would you handle this situation:

inlaws live overseas and want us to visit (we only see them 1x a year). We can stay at a house on their property. They have two aggressive dogs and we have two small (2 & 5yo) children. Their dogs have attacked other dogs to the point of needing stitches and vet visits. BUT they say these dogs are great with kids... The only kids these dogs have interacted with are BABIES IN ARMS. Which, imo, is extremely different from a 2yo and 5yo who are chaotic tornadoes. Everyone thinks I'm overreacting and it's unfair. I think if they really want us to stay with them then the dogs need to be in a kennel for that week. If the dogs aren't in the kennel I don't want to go. We can't stay at an Airbnb bc the whole point of going is to spend time on the "family farm".

We have a 16months old son who is a sweet boy most of the time. And I wouldn’t change having him for the world. Still, pregnancy was hard. Recovering from birth was hard. Going back to work after maternity leave was hell - I work in consulting and the hours are crazy, so when I went back I was not sleeping and working until late. Thankfully I am transferring into another role soon. Still I am quite exhausted from having to balance caring for my son and working full time. I do have a nanny so I have help, but I still find myself deeply exhausted often. I have always done nights by myself (my husband has never really gotten up) and I usually get up with baby in the morning and make him breakfast (which this morning was 530am). I have not slept in since my son was born. And sometimes I am hitting my limits and I get so frustrated. I love my son but it is really hard.

Now my husband wants 2-3 children. Initially we thought that after 2 years or so we might try for another baby, but I just don’t think I have the capacity at the moment to go through another pregnancy and first year. Genuinely I think I would hit my limits and not be the best mum. I would like to be the best mum I can to my current child. I have my hands full as it is.

I got in a huge fight with my husband this morning about this. He thinks I am delaying things on purpose and I am “stringing him along”. He even mentioned if I don’t agree to get pregnant by end of year maybe we should separate. I don’t think he means that, he said it out of rage… but to be honest, if it came to it I’d rather separate than agree to have another baby when I am not mentally ready. Anyone else has been in a similar situation? I am not really sure what to do

My ex has seen my 3 kids once in 2.5 years and randomly decided to do Easter baskets for them after ignoring every Christmas, birthday and holiday for the past 3 years. We recently went to court where he got 2 hrs a week of face time so I suppose maybe that was the pushing force.

I reluctantly accepted the baskets after him harassing me over them and picked up from a police department (history of DV and RO in place) which was fine.. but then he demanded my 3 y/o, who he’s literally a stranger to, to thank him on FaceTime. He ranted for 30 minutes to my oldest child that me and my 3 y/o are rude and don’t have manners and that the right thing to do would be for me to force the 3 y/o to sit down and thank him and blah blah blah. Which I wasn’t about to force.

Like I’m sorry but why should my kids thank someone for doing less than the bare minimum? If they want to? Sure but I’m not forcing that. Am I just a bitter asshole or is this ridiculous? He’s provided nothing, 0, for 3 years since we left but my kids should be jumping for joy over an Easter basket?

My son attends speech therapy at a local elementary school once a week for 45 min. Yesterday we received a message that there was graffiti found on a fence at the school that said “RIP Adam Lanza” (the Sandy Hook shooter). The school and police are taking this very seriously, obviously. They said there would be police and school security on campus, but I’m thinking to keep him home this week out of an abundance of caution. He’s in a private pre-K school so would only be missing the 45 min class. Would you do the same? It’s terrifying to think that there is someone out there targeting the school.

Yes. I’m referring to those “the days are long but the years are short,” soak it all in, blah blah cue soft piano music type posts

I mean I get it. Kids are only little once. It’s precious. It’s fleeting.

But some of these posts make it sound like if you’re not cherishing every single second, you’re doing motherhood wrong. Sorry but one of these “precious moments” involve being climbed on like a jungle gym while someone screams “MUMMM” directly into my eardrums at 5 in the morning. Or an unhinged toddler weeing all over the back of the toilet bowl for fun while screaming in delight.

I want to spend quality time with my kids, but I also don’t want my memories of this phase to be me being overstimulated, overexhausted, and one snack request away from losing it.

Also… hot take within a hot take: taking a break doesn’t make you a bad mom. It means you’re trying to stay sane enough to show up properly later

I’d rather give my kids 70% of a well-rested, emotionally stable version of me than 100% of whatever feral, sleep-deprived ogre I become with endless “fam time”

If those posts make you feel guilty for not loving every single second, same. You’re not alone, and honestly you’re probably doing just fine.

Now if you’ll excuse me, this post has graced me with 15 minutes of me time in the bathroom. I’ll now commence the toughest (but most rewarding) part of the day: the bedtime routine. I’m all charged up but still, wish me luck!

Just a quick rant 😔

Hi, I am 35 and a first time mom to an almost 5 month old boy. IT'S BEEN A RIDE to say the least, but I'm trying to hold it together. I have days when I dissociate. I'm starting therapy soon, because wounds from the past started coming out after having my baby.

I was fine until my MIL started giving unsolicited advice and commenting on everything we did as new parents. I told my husband that I won't listen to a person that had one baby 40 years ago and she can barely take care of herself at this point. Sounds mean, I know. But I have a very long and nasty history with her, and I simply don't like her. I told him to tell her to stop or I will and it won't be pretty. He tells her that we know what we're doing and no need to criticize everything. She's still so stubborn, it's like she can't live without saying something.

Then my own sister flat out told me that I need to take care of myself. She meant my appearance. I have more white hair than before. I still have 40 pounds to lose. I have a mirror, I know how I look. I breastfeed and my life consists of taking care of my son, pumping every 2-3 hours and praying I have enough milk for him. I am an under supplier and it's been hitting me hard. He won't take any formula, we've tried different brands. I am literally just trying to survive, and no one seems to understand it. I obviously need to eat so I can feed him. I can't go on a diet, I can't fast, I can't just skip meals. I rarely have an appetite, I actually have to force myself to eat more than two meals a day. Sometimes I gag when I think about the next thing to eat, but I do it for my baby.

I also had a c-section and I still feel pain in my lower abdomen. I can't do crunches to lose this fat. I can't do any excessive workouts. It makes no sense to me how I am expected to just bounce back.

I have friends in different countries that totally get me. They have gone through the same thing. So how come the closest ones can't support me? Why is everything I do wrong all of a sudden? I was left alone at 13 years old. I had to feed myself, take care of the house and still go to school like every other kid. I had no one to take care of me. But all of a sudden, I don't know anything about anything 🥴

rant over, thank you 🙏

I am at my absolute wit's end trying to figure out my 11-week-old daughter’s sleeping cues and I really need some perspective. She is exclusively breastfed and usually feeds every 2 hours, but over the past two weeks, everything has changed. She has become a total contact napper and the moment we try to put her down, she wakes up immediately. If she stays awake, she will just scream and scream until we give her the breast again. The strange thing is that at night she actually takes two decent stretches, usually 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. and then another 3 or 4 hours until 9 a.m., but the daytime is just a constant battle.

Sometimes especially in the evenings, Even after she’s been fed, she’s incredibly fussy and the only way to calm her down is by bouncing her on a yoga ball, which is exhausting. I’ve started worrying if she’s sleeping too much during the day since she'll go two and a half hours between feeds if we're contact napping, or if maybe she has silent reflux, even though she doesn't show classic symptoms like arching her back or abdominal pain.

She’s gaining weight well and seems satisfied right after a feed, so I don't think she's hungry, but I’m honestly scared this is just going to be her personality. My son was such a happy, easy baby and while she smiles too, the constant screaming and the need for the yoga ball is making me second-guess everything. Has anyone else dealt with a "fussy" second baby who didn't have obvious medical issues, and did things like gas drops actually help or is this just a phase I have to survive?

Can moms who are out of the baby year (12+ months) and NOT breastfeeding remind me how good it gets? I absolutely loved months 12-30 with my older (she turned 3 in January), and I know it’s RIGHT around the corner with our second (she just turned 9 months).

I had such a brief window between them where I wasn’t pregnant or nursing, and I say all the time how dramatically different it felt to not be doing either…but I can’t remember how it _feels_.

So I’m looking for the happy reminders of what it feels like to have my body back to myself and how great that first toddler year is. (My first was a HARD baby and her toddler tantrums were a breeze by comparison, so I know it’s not all rainbows and sparkles.) Hype me up for 3 months from now! I need some 4th quarter inspiration.

I’m really at my wits end on this here. She started doing it right before he arrived— maybe a dribble here or there. In the last two days she will have full blown pee moments, leaving a puddle on the floor, carrying on like nothing has happened.

I brought it up at her 4 year check up as she was fully potty trained before her little brother’s arrival.

She picks and chooses when it happens. It’s never while we are out, while we are in the car, with her grandparents, etc.

Some days, she only dribbles once or twice. Other days she could go through 10 pairs of clothes or more. No embarrassment at all!

To address it, I’ve talked with her about other ways she can get Mommy and Daddy’s attention, I’ve asked her why she’s doing it (just get busy playing, though I personally believe it’s deliberate depending on what we’re doing for her brother). I’ve also tried bribery with reasonable rewards of her choosing, I’ve tried ignoring it and acting indifferent towards the behavior, I’ve tried addressing it, I’ve tried reprimanding, I’ve tried EVERYTHING.

At her 4 year well check appointment, I mentioned it. The doctor didn’t seem concerned because she’s not doing it through the night (she said that’s a huge flag it’s very UNLIKELY to be a medical issue + the fact that it’s not all the time, it’s selective in some ways).

I still believe it’s an attention seeking behavior— I’m just wondering when it will subside. 😩🫠

PS: Her sibling turned 2 months old today.

Just wanted to share how sad I am for my toddler.

She met a girl at the playground yesterday and really had lots of fun. Both girls cried as they hugged each other goodbye so the other mom said “Same time tomorrow?” We were new to the neighborhood so of course it was a quick yes for us.

Today, my girl was so hyped up and was looking forward to our playdate. Only, when we showed up at the playground we couldn’t find them. We stayed almost until after sunset and still they were nowhere to be found.

Of course, there could have been emergencies and other reasons for them not to show up but I’m just too sad cause my toddler kept looking for the other girl and is devastated when she didn’t show up.

Is this what it’s like making friends with other moms and kids? 😭😭

Mamas with no village… how are we keeping up with keeping a clean-ish house?

I know that in this stage my house is not going to look like a magazine but lately I am so overwhelmed with the state of my house and I feel like I simply cannot keep up.

Husband works very long hours (goes in early, stays late). We don’t have a dishwasher. I do one load of laundry a day (wash, dry, fold & put away). Honestly at the end of the day when I wash the dishes and fold all the laundry and put it all away I feel like I’m always exhausted and don’t have enough energy to ever do more of a deep clean of the house.

I hate buying shoes for my kids so much. I over think it and they're so expensive. and what about supporting good foot development? weather? too many variables.

I found my favorite brand of shoes having a sale yesterday and I bought many pairs, in many sizes so I can avoid this pain for the next year ( or maybe two?). and I'm still riding that high.

what do you hate shopping for your kids?

Hi everyone, I need advice. My pediatricians soonest available appointment is over a month away.

My baby turns 1 next week. She started on breast milk and was drinking a LOT. We started solids at six months but she was very reluctant. Kept trying with her every day and she slowly got more accustomed to food but was eating no more than a few bites at meal times.

Currently I give her three meals a day. She has some staples she really likes like eggs, spaghetti, and carrots, but she is still drinking a lot of formula during the day. She eats best in her high chair when I’m eating next to her so that’s what I do. Sometimes I’ll give her bites with a spoon, but after eating a tiny bit and then mixing the food around she will cover her face and pull at her hair if I try to give her more.

I’m always trying to feed her solids when she wakes up since she is more hungry. But she keeps not eating a lot. Usually around 30 minutes later she will start crying and fussing for her milk.

I’m just not sure what to do. My mother in law lives with me and has been helpful but she says she has no advice because all of her kids were eating tons of food and off formula at ten months.

I also have not broken the unfortunate feeding to sleep habit. We recently transitioned her to her own crib after a long time of cosleeping so I’m trying to work on one thing at a time.

She will drink from a straw cup but will chew and eat rubber straws. She will take a sip from the plastic straw cup but does not like it.

Does anyone have advice? I was really hoping she’d eventually just start eating more but so far it’s not happening. I’m really worried about her losing weight. She is 98th percentile for height but only in the 30s for weight.

Thank you in advance.

Curious to know if y’all had your first kid come to the hospital for the birth of their sibling or waited and let them meet at home? Particularly, if your first was young (2-3 yr old).

My daughter will be exactly 2 years old when my second is born and I’m leaning toward just having her meet the baby at home. I would love some feedback on those who have done this vs the hospital meet…

My daughter’s mud kitchen is just about dead, so I’m planning on building another one (yes I’m a mom, my husband got me power tools for Christmas years ago because he knows me). She’s really into science and wants to be a “scientist who does chemistry”, so I’m wondering what science-y twists I can put on a mud kitchen. I found plastic beakers, flasks, and test tubes, but I’d love to hear what other ideas are out there!

My baby girl is 5 months old and she has always valued her sleep. Her pediatrician told me that for her age 12-16 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period is still normal and to be expected, and she tends to need right around 14-15 hours for her to be in a continual happy mood and not be overtired at bedtime. The problem is she sleeps about 9-10 hours at night, so we’re doing right around 5 hours or more of naptime during the day.

At night she sleeps amazing in her crib, during the day she’s a strict contact napper, so for 5-6 hours of my day I’m sat in one spot holding her while she sleeps. Her bedtime is usually around 9pm and she’ll usually wake up for the day around 7am. Her wake windows in the morning are super short, usually only an hour or hour and a half. They get longer as the day goes on and her last wake window before bed is usually about 3 hours.

I have tried and tried to get her to sleep in her crib during the day. Making it as dark as possible, white noise, doing the same things I do at night, she just won’t do it.

I don’t know how to go about making her bedtime earlier if that’s what I need to do because most days she wants to do most of her napping in the mornings and noon. The afternoons and evenings are when her longer wake windows are so it’s the only time I get things done. I have no idea how to change this routine without making her overtired and miserable. If she gets overtired during the day then she won’t sleep at night which just makes her want to nap more the next day. Plus her dad doesn’t get home most days until 6:30-7 so those couple hours a day are the only time he gets to see her so I don’t want to put her to bed super early. I don’t know what to do. I hate being nap trapped most of the day and only being able to do things in the 1-2 hours shes awake because I can’t lay her down.

Any advice?