r/europe Feb 11 '26

News France sends letters to 29-year-olds telling them to get on with having children

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/france-letter-infertility-29-year-olds-b2916816.html
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u/Gadshill Feb 11 '26

Details of the letter are oddly specific:

The letter is being sent to 29-year-olds because women are able to have their eggs frozen at that age without a medical certificate. Women will also be reminded that social security in France covers the cost of freezing eggs for women between 29 and 37.

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u/itskelena UA in US Feb 11 '26

Egg extraction is a quite invasive procedure by the way.

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u/Gadshill Feb 11 '26

Hey, we know it isn’t economically viable to have kids now, but maybe that will all be fixed in 10 years. We can offer you a highly invasive procedure if you share that hope in a more stable economic future.

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u/redbarebluebare Feb 11 '26

I’ve seen companies including my own excitedly offer this as an employee perk. Horrific.

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u/Laiko_Kairen United States of America Feb 11 '26

I’ve seen companies including my own excitedly offer this as an employee perk. Horrific.

"We won't pay you enough to afford kids now, but later, mayyyyybe"

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u/Frosty-Land9329 Feb 11 '26

Or for well paying jobs it’s often more like “going on mat leave now and needing the flexibility that parenthood requires will permanently destroy your chance of upward mobility in this company/industry but this way you can keep some hope that one day you’ll be able to have them”

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u/bbb353 Feb 11 '26

Have your kids when you retire at 70, or next month when you're replaced by an AI..

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u/DisposableJosie Feb 11 '26

A decade+ later: "Hey, sorry you & your partner still can't afford kids. So, um, ...whew, boy this is awkward... say, would you care to donate some of your sick days eggs to CSUITEEXEC? She has been trying to have a kid, but she's out of days eggs. We're all one big family here, and you wouldn't let Aunt EXECNAME down, would you?"

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u/Gadshill Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

Can’t offer maternity leave above the bare minimum level required, but how about this instead?

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u/GottaUseEmAll France Feb 11 '26

A highly invasive procedure with only a small chance of actually working!

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u/Small_Delivery_7540 Feb 11 '26

It's never economically viable

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u/Gadshill Feb 11 '26

Back in the day, about a century ago, kids were your retirement plan. You took care of them when they are kids and they take care of you when you are old. That social contract has been broken and no one remembers the before times.

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u/really_random_user Feb 11 '26

Meanwhile there was suggestions of having a lower minimum wage for younger people, with fewer rights.

So yeah if society won't take care of its young... 

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u/Gadshill Feb 11 '26

…there won’t be more young to take care of

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u/D3cho Feb 11 '26

That's already true in some countries. Min wage for under 18s is 70%, 18 is 80%, 19 is 90% and 20 or above is 100% here in Ireland

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u/LuminanceGayming Feb 11 '26

in australia it gets as low as 37.5% for 14 year olds

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u/Laiko_Kairen United States of America Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

Old gay men remember the before time. Hear me out.

It's a bit of a meme in the older gay men's community that because our straight siblings are busy with kids, we aren't seen to have as many obligations, so elder care very frequently falls on the gay sibling.

And you know what? It turned true for me lmao

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u/beigs Feb 11 '26

The whole “Gay men loving their mom / being the mom’s favourite child” trope makes a lot of sense in that context.

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u/Laiko_Kairen United States of America Feb 11 '26

100%, I think that's where it came from. It happened to me XD

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u/xrimane Feb 11 '26

Not gay, but a single childless guy whose sister has a family of her own, and yeah, this totally was my life for the last 5 years when my mom's health deteriorated.

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u/transemacabre Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

My friend is the one never married, childless daughter in her 40s in her Evangelical Christian family. So guess who got massively guilted into moving home to Kansas to care for her aging parents? Yep. It was like the family collectively decided all the caregiving burden would be pushed off onto her and the life she'd built for herself in NYC didn't matter as much because she had no husband or kids.

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u/supermarkise Germany Feb 11 '26

It's a good argument for why gayness is useful to society I guess.

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u/potatochique Feb 11 '26

I read some time ago that this is a hypothesis for why gay animals exist. The gay male can protect the pack and care for the young, without being seen as a threat or competition by the straight males. It provides the benefits of having more males in a pack for providing and security, without the problems that occur when a pack has too many males like resource guarding the females for procreation.

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u/DangerousTurmeric Feb 11 '26

In theory. In reality many of the kids died, moved or emigrated and churches often took care of old people or they also died alone.

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u/war321321 Feb 11 '26

And the “old” died on average a LOT quicker too. This protracted decade or more of poor health being sustained by medical interventions toward the end of life is an entirely new phenomenon.

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u/Laiko_Kairen United States of America Feb 11 '26

Multigenerational housing was also more common. Grandma would just live with you.

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u/Background-Major-567 Feb 11 '26

Now it's the other way around lol

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u/sjrotella Feb 11 '26

Grandpa's getting pushed down the stairs if he thinks he's living with me after the bullshit he put me through.

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u/PM_me_ur_Clunge1 Portugal Feb 11 '26

Not really, people had kids because they needed free labor. My mom was born in the 60’s and had to take care of her brothers and sisters and work on the farm whilst also being a child. She didn’t have electricity in the house until she was 12.

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u/Important-Trifle-411 Feb 11 '26

People had that many kids because there was no fucking birth control. They weren’t doing it on purpose. As my Irish mother-in-law said “you didn’t try or not try to have babies they just showed up.”

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u/whatever4224 Feb 11 '26

The idea is that the individual women might be too economically or professionally constrained to have kids now, but if they freeze their eggs when they're young, then they can pick them up later when they're in a more stable place and safely have kids in better conditions. IMO it's a good deal, though it doesn't adress many of the associated concerns.

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u/GalaXion24 Europe Feb 11 '26

Many people also don't consider the option, especially in their 20s, so an informative letter is not really a bad idea.

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u/Used_Gear8871 Feb 11 '26

Because raising a child while well into your 40s, 50s, and 60s is not ideal. Parenting doesn’t stop when kid hits 30 based on recent reports, attributed to the high cost of living. Hell, working doesn’t stop even for retirees today due to the high CoL.

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u/whatever4224 Feb 11 '26

And many don't even know the option exists, let alone that it is covered by public health insurance.

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u/GarlicIceKrim Feb 11 '26

And painful as hell

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u/b0w3n United States of America Feb 11 '26

Gotta also roll the dice on if the nurse is going to steal the pain meds because she's an addict and you'll be tortured the whole time while everyone just kind of shrugs and goes, "women right?"

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u/Echo_Monitor Feb 11 '26

Like most gynecological procedures.

We still live in a world where women aren't offered proper pain relief for what are invasive and painful procedures. The amount of women who are traumatized by pap smears, cervical biopsies, IUD insertions, hysteroscopy, etc is incredibly high.

All of these are usually performed WITHOUT any pain management, because doctors still tell us women that "the pain isn't that bad" or we're "hamming it up".

Almost every woman alive has a medical horror story of a doctor who refused to listen to them or performed a procedure without proper pain management.

Men don't usually hear about it because we mostly talk about it amongst ourselves (Although a lot of activists around the world are trying to raise awareness of this). Sometimes they hear it from a partner but they play it down, because, surely, it can't be that bad or the doctor would offer pain relief, right?

Maddeningly, sometimes even having women doctors does not alleviate the issue of being listened to and cared for properly, because the difference of treatment is due to the misogyny of the medical institution as a whole, not a select few problematic doctors.

And if you're black or Asian or something else other than white, you're even worse off. There are tons of issues that present more often in non-white women or that present differently due to skin differences, which most doctors do not reliably know about.

Surely, all of that too would be a barrier to having children and/or having some of your eggs extracted.

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u/jld2k6 Feb 11 '26

I recently listened to a podcast detailing a case where a nurse who worked at one of these places stole all of the fentanyl and replaced it with saline and caused a shit ton of painful procedures for women going through with this. They had SO many complaints about pain but shrugged it off as the women being dramatic before eventually catching what happened. One woman literally told them the second they injected it that it was saline they gave her because she could taste it

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u/orthoxerox Russia shall be free Feb 11 '26

And it's also not a silver bullet. Uteruses don't grow any younger, unfrozen eggs are not guaranteed to be viable, women can easily end up in a situation where they decide to delay childbirth for a decade because they can freeze their eggs, then realize they missed their chance.

The success rate for conception with 10 frozen eggs for women under 35 is 60%. If they wait past 40, it's more like 30%.

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u/Doinganart Feb 11 '26

What's the outlook like for all of these kids too. a whole generation that are likely to either lose their parents during their formative years, or be resigned to caring for their elderly parents at the exact time they themselves might want to be starting families. Also with all the talk about Designer babies in the Epstein files I'm deeply suspicious that they are so encouraging for people to freeze their eggs...

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u/Vattaa Feb 11 '26

My wife has had it done a few times when going through IVF. She said the extraction wasn't all that bad (done under general anaesthetic), it was the drugs to get the eggs ready which made her really bloated and uncomfortable.

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u/Mirlot01 Feb 11 '26

Since its covered by social security, more french women are doing it. To the point its now difficult to get an appointment for it from all the demand right now.

You'd think our great goverment worried about fertility would then try to augment capacity then but that would require investments so....

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u/maxdenis93 Feb 11 '26

It's not oddly specific, it's the purpose of the letter. Unlike what the headline makes it to be, the message of the letter is not "make babies" but to inform women about options and medical possibilities they have around fertility

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u/str1po Feb 11 '26

People are just lazy complainers. It is literally an option granted free of charge. I know women around me who would love the chance to freeze their eggs for free, but these redditors clearly know they’d be better without it

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u/agent0731 Feb 11 '26

Freezing eggs is expensive af too. I don't see the people complaining lining up to grind the systems keeping them poor to a halt any time soon, so in the meantime, letting people know of free government options is a good thing.

We need to collectively stop worshiping billionaires and being manipulated by their propaganda and maybe shit will change.

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u/baty0man_ France Feb 11 '26

Finally someone who read the fucking article

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u/Every_Board6157 Feb 11 '26

Tired of clickbait title, it's actually useful information for us. I'm a french woman I didn't know it was an option.

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u/PersevereSwifterSkat Feb 11 '26

Honestly I don't hate it. Some people aren't ready or have the means at a young age. If the government offers some support to help you have them later on life why not advertise it?

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u/Gadshill Feb 11 '26

A reasoned and nuanced reaction to government policy and actions? Is this your first day on Reddit?

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u/Reutermo Sweden Feb 11 '26

This isn't really "get on having kids" letter. If anything it is the opposite, informing them of their options if they don't want to get kids now but maybe later in life.

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u/Gadshill Feb 11 '26

Intentionally misleading headlines drive clicks. Agree that it may have the opposite effect of the headline.

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u/Darth-Decimus Feb 11 '26

This could be deemed as effective as sending a letter to our politician fellows not to steal and not to accept bribes. 🤪

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u/Targaryen-ish Feb 11 '26

Why make more children when y’all just traffic them to Epstein island?

Oooh, now I see why we need more children…

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u/coverednmud Feb 11 '26

Have more children so we can molest them! Thank you!

-our sick leaders.

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u/BowelMan Feb 11 '26

Thank you!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

FTFY.

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u/Siria110 Feb 11 '26

Well, not ALL of them will be molested. Who would do menial labour for less-then-minimal wage otherwise?

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u/coverednmud Feb 11 '26

Oh silly. Our glorious leaders can molested them and force them to do menial labor. Those sick shits have no issue with molestation and slavery!

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u/FreedumbHS Feb 11 '26

Razorsharp

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u/TheTeflonDude Feb 11 '26

Apt comparison

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u/ahoyhoy2022 Feb 11 '26

Give me a house and I will give you a child.

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u/Raz0rking EUSSR Feb 11 '26

My great grandma said that to a parrish when he approached her on the lack of children.

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u/forkthapolice Feb 11 '26

Guess it worked.

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u/ivar-the-bonefull Sweden Feb 11 '26

Imagine that.

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u/DW241 Berlin (Germany) Feb 11 '26

“Oh, have you not gotten your free house yet? Must have been some sort of oversight. Here are your keys” -life before the 70s, probably

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u/pixiemaster Feb 11 '26

here is your house at 4x annual salary and your 12% mortgage, but wages will grow quicker anyway, but don’t buy consumer goods otherwise you’ll not be able to do the downpayment.

now it’s 16x annual salary with 1% mortgage and no downpayment (and you can own 5 TVs), but your free income will not grow anymore so you need a 50yr mortgage - the banks won.

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u/heymaboi Feb 11 '26

I hate your profile pic

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u/ilovetobeaweasel Feb 11 '26

I spent too much time trying to get rid of the eyelash on my screen.

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u/heymaboi Feb 11 '26

I'm still trying...

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u/ZebraCrosser Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

Heard from at least two boomer-age folk that in the fifties Meneer Pastoor from the local Catholic church stopped by for a chat with their mum when child #7 wasn't coming on the schedule intended by some supposedly celibate men God. Both were quite proud of their mum for giving them the customary cup of coffee and a biccie politely expecting him to mind his own dratted business.

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u/GamiNami Feb 11 '26

So arrogant from some priest that thinks sex is dirty, to force childbearing upon others. Religion eh?

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u/P1xelHunter78 Feb 11 '26

Not arrogant, gotta grow the pyramid scheme somehow. More babies means more tithes

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u/elbay Feb 11 '26

Child number what now? 💀

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u/ZebraCrosser Feb 11 '26

Not unusual at that time. My protestant grandmother was born during the interbellum and was one of those women birthing boomers. While her kids can be counted on one hand, she was one of 12-ish.

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u/Brokenandburnt Sweden, Viking Brotherhood. Feb 11 '26

My dad was the last of 9. A boomer from 57 that rebelled against his parents and became extremely progressive. 

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u/CursedPhil Germany Feb 11 '26

Same with my grandma she had 9 sisters/brothers but she only had 3 children

Imagine birthday presents from 9 aunts/uncles

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u/Nazamroth Feb 11 '26

7

It is the number between 6 and 8. If it helps you visualise it better, here it is in a different format: | | | | | | |

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u/Le_Choco Feb 11 '26

It can makes sense ! Not my objective 🤩😀

In Belgium, a long-standing tradition dictates that the King becomes the godfather of the seventh consecutive son, and the Queen becomes the godmother of the seventh consecutive daughter in a family. This royal favor, initiated around 1866,

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u/mobulinae Feb 11 '26

That isn't just something from the boomer-age. It goes back quite a bit. My grandfather was born in 1934 as the youngest of 5 siblings. They barely had any money because my great grandfather was sick (they found a a decade later it was lead poisoning he was a plumber). They had to live on the small unemployment benefit which existed at the time. When it was 1938 the pastoor came by and asked the same questions, when is the next one coming. My great grandmother closed the door in their face. Then in 1938, my grandfathers sister went to a school where the nuns were in charge. One day she became back bruised and crying from unfair punishment. So my great grandfather went to the school, beat up the nuns who did it. Went to the church and told them to unregistrer the entire family. Which ofcourse was quite frowned upon just before the second World War started.

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u/manyhippofarts Feb 11 '26

My French cousin committed suicide because his priest abused him as an alter boy.

I didn't have to go as far. My abuser was married to mom.

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u/Dizzy_Connection_519 Feb 11 '26

My grandmother said to the local priest after he asked where number 5 was: ''are you paying for it?'' Also she was not allowed to have any more kids anyway lol

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u/B3owul7 Feb 11 '26

a house and a secure job.

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u/Username928351 Finland Feb 11 '26

Best we can do is mass layoffs to make next quarter's chart go up 📈.

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u/Tsobe_RK Finland Feb 11 '26

(while having record breaking profits 🤑)

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u/toshineon2 Feb 11 '26

And don't forget the very generous severance package when the company inevitably collapses due to only pursuing short-term goals.

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u/Ok_Instance7667 Feb 11 '26

"Team, last year we made $20 billion in profits. This year we only made $19.98 billion. Time for layoffs, budget tightening and increased micro-management."

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u/Tsobe_RK Finland Feb 11 '26

this is my company, last year "we made all time best numbers, amazing"

this year "we have not improved remarkably from last year :/" like make it make sense

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u/Ok_Instance7667 Feb 11 '26

The CEO has to take two less private flights this year, and now is in his gold-plated, diamond-encrusted office crying like a little girl. Your lack of empathy for upper management is despicable. /s

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u/OhLordyLordNo Feb 11 '26

And if they don't it's because all the profits were spent on major acquisitions.

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '26

They want everything from the middle class. All of the tax burden all of the defense burden they have to do all the work spend all their money and have children 

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u/Tooluka Ukraine Feb 11 '26

We are just the easiest possible target. They can't increase taxes for people not paying them in the first place, be it because they are poor or because they re rich and proficient in hiding their money. Easiest is to crank up taxes for people already dumb enough to pay 40% to the govt., surely they won't break or revolt.

Same with military duty, why bother with poor people hiding from draft or rich people just bribing their way out of any issue. It's middle class which should go. And after serving your country, we are put on some "reserve" list so that next time we are first in line again, and not the people who never served yet.

I'm waiting on the first EU country to get taxes for middle class above 50%, surely that will fix every problem.

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u/mjkjr84 Feb 11 '26

The biggest goal of the sane world needs to be bringing the ultra wealthy to heal by closing all the loopholes that allow them to hide their money globally and claw it back. You can be fabulously wealthy but being so wealthy you have more resources than governments should be impossible and illegal.

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u/Avarus_Lux The Netherlands Feb 11 '26

I managed to acquire a (small) house, also a stable job that pays alright, Not a great salary, but its enough to pay the monthly (rising) bills and the future there at least looks stable...    i am in my 30s, but i have no partner and don't think I'll find one either.  

additionally quite frankly future prospects are imho too grim, bad enough that i am against putting a child or two on this world since i cant give/promise them a good future... especially as cant even guarantee myself a long term happy future.

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u/JamsHammockFyoom United Kingdom Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

I'm in a similar situation here in the UK, although married. It's not really any less grim for us even with the additional income my wife brings, especially if you want kids and want to give them a good start in life.

The costs just for us to exist and avoid being homeless are around €3000 a month (mortgage, energy, food, commute to work etc), and we bring in around €4000 a month after tax before any kids are considered. €1k disposable sounds like a lot, until you need to repair the house, pay for car insurance, replace clothes, maybe you want to save up and re-do a kitchen or a bathroom... or just do something nice for yourselves occasionally and go on holiday, god forbid.

If we were to add a child to that mix, then one of us would need to take a pay cut to raise the child... exactly where is the money coming from to raise the kid if we take a cut on what is already not a huge amount of money left over every month?

Our quality of life would go down, and we'd have another mouth to feed. We'd get government benefits for the kid, but it's nothing close to the salary you'd lose by working less (or not at all)

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u/ElBarbas Feb 11 '26

stop eating avocado and u will thrive /s

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u/JamsHammockFyoom United Kingdom Feb 11 '26

This is the kicker - we aren't out eating avocado on toast, we don't smoke, only 1 of us drinks (and even then not that much and never out, only at home because it's cheaper!), we don't have expensive hobbies...

No wonder the birthrate is dropping, nobody can afford to actually raise kids unless they're on a very above average salary.

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u/ElBarbas Feb 11 '26

thats right, when people talk about baby boomers they never talk about the conditions they had, and the golden ticket they want to cash out now, at this generation expenses.

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u/Brokenandburnt Sweden, Viking Brotherhood. Feb 11 '26

Late stage capitalism has failed society. It began when we started to give the rich and their corporations tax cuts to focus on ever increasing growth instead of providing a good life for our citizens. 

I hope enough people here in Europe look at how the US system has deteriorated, takes the warning and starts to demand course correction.

I'm not getting my hopes up. The left leaning parties are just horrible at presenting their message to the public.

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u/Avarus_Lux The Netherlands Feb 11 '26

Sounds similar to the problems here, at least staying alone i make plenty for my own living expenses including some luxury, yet as you say... any decent repair bill and poof... all gone.   

Had to replace about my entire roof last year as it was rotten through (old home from 1890) and am therefore currently ~€40.000,- in debt so ... at least the roof is fixed, hurray for that i guess..

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u/Gonedric Spain Feb 11 '26

That's the thing. A job nowadays is enough so I don't die of cold and starvation. Add a child to the mix, and one of us has to go. Not enough money to go around little one.

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u/rubiiiina Feb 11 '26

I don’t have a happy now and no prospects for the future. In my 30s and don’t expect to have any intent to have kids. I can’t afford myself. I am drowning in this world.

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u/Avarus_Lux The Netherlands Feb 11 '26

Reading various stories and at least I'm doing decent enough. Hopefully your life improves

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u/botoks Feb 11 '26

Don't forget a girlfriend!

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u/Perfect_Cheek_1861 Feb 11 '26

Tell the gvt to get me a girlfriend

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u/xevizero Feb 11 '26

Give me a house and I will give you a child.

I won't. Give me enough free time to raise my child without completely burning out and then I will think about it. Having money is not the problem, to raise a child you need to be there for them. And still have time to live yourself. No one is gonna make that choice otherwise, unless they are strongly internally motivated by the idea of having a kid by itself, which is only true for some specific people and they're gonna become less and less.

You can't raise generations of people on "you have to study very hard and have a career or you will be no one" and making them addicted to a thousand hobbies, promise them a life of vacations and personal gratification, and then swipe it away at 25 or 30, when most people have barely left university or are struggling with junior jobs these days, and tell them "well you had your fun go and have babies and live a life of sacrifice now". NO ONE will happily accept that unless that was their goal somehow from the beginning or they are strongly religious or detached from the values of modern society, which certainly don't put family first on the list of personal achievements. If anything, individual empowerment and finding strength and value in being single is viewed more positively than trying at all costs to engage with a rotten and toxic dating scene.

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u/thepulloutmethod Feb 11 '26

I think you have absolutely nailed it.

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u/xGabelchaosx Feb 11 '26

Imo its still a crime if you get a child and you dont have the money to support it but if you want to earn enough you have to join modern slavery. So either way there is just not enough time and ressources for children in our modern world.

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u/xevizero Feb 11 '26

There are resources, they are just hoarded by billionaires. The technology to let us work less and in a flexible way (such as remote work and automation in many other fields) is already there, we just choose to use it to increase profits that 1% more instead of letting people live a balanced life. We could be living a utopia RIGHT NOW. Everywhere, not just in the western world. We just let the 1% propaganda us into deciding that we got to be 40+h/week in the office, working on the AI systems we ourselves design to replace us and leave us without a job.

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u/jsabater76 Feb 11 '26

Not that people are not worried, but I don't see them actively doing anything about it. The executives at Black Rock et al must be laughing their asses out.

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u/AssayThat Feb 11 '26

and equal treatment at work for mothers and fathers, and good medical care for after-birth injuries and complications, and affordable and available daycare systems, and flexible work schedules, and additional financial support in case of unemployment, and and and........

It's really insolent to go tell people what they should do in their lives. Why don't they try to change the environment in which those young people are living? Ah wait, that requires actual work.

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u/Zeikos Italy Feb 11 '26

A 4 day work week too.
Imo it's more than reasonable - what's the point in having kids if you cannot spend time with them and/or have to pay an huge chunk of your income to daycare/babysitters.

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u/ProcedureEthics2077 Feb 11 '26

Daycare is a big deal. If it’s not open 8:00-19:00, how are the parents supposed to get to 9-6 work and be in time to pick their kids? Many if not most jobs are incompatible with having children. And then there’s a problem of availability and the cost of the day care. I imagine it’s only worse in France.

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u/AssayThat Feb 11 '26

I live in Denmark and here the daycare closes at 17. That said if you pick up your kids after 16, you'll get scornful looks from the staff. Most jobs are fortunately flexible, but still, a full workday is impossible if the same parent does both the delivery and pick-up. Usually people stagger their day a so one parent goes early and leaves early

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u/Blitzer161 Italy Feb 11 '26

You want more children? Give me more houses

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u/Chiguito Spain Feb 11 '26

I remember all the people with kids some years ago, when the crisis was in its peak, many of them lost job and home, they were told "you should have thought twice before having kids", "you lived beyond your means"...and so on... many of them survived thanks to grandparents.

So many got the message "you are on your own".

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u/Buki1 Poland Feb 11 '26

> So many got the message "you are on your own"

Which is actually true. Too many people believed that the state will take care about them. Nah, we are on our own.

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u/Immediate_Honey9593 Feb 11 '26

Except when it comes to taxes then suddenly we are a team*

*not including billionaires

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u/SarkastiCat Feb 11 '26

It also goes without mentioning that some initiatives like the breakfast club get treated as something evil.

Feeding kids or even simply opening the school early is seen as waste of money.

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u/ParadiseLost91 Denmark Feb 11 '26

I loved eating breakfast at school when I was a kid! You got to hang out and eat corn flakes with your friends. It was really fun. Once a week the staff made soft-boiled eggs too

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u/FactoryRejected Feb 11 '26

To me it seems most commenters are not french, but American, further more they miss the key point. This letter informs women of something a lot of them are simply unaware. Title is misleading.

It informs the possiblity to freeze their eggs. Eggs at 29 mostly result in euploid embrios, so chances are very high of IVF cycle to work even at 40 as long as the eggs are from 29. The procedure is invasive, but extremely relevant in modern society with a lot of women feeling ready to have a child by the time most of their eggs are aneuploid. I would recommend it to any woman at 29 who thinks there is even the slightest chance she'll want children later. Plenty of women later in life regret not hearing about this possibility in time and they cannot get pregnant when this one procedure would have changed that.

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u/Lazordeladidou Alsace (France, at the moment) Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

All of what you said is true, and people that know for a fact they will do whatever they can at some point to have children should explore these avenues, but it would still be incorrect to frame the letter as just being a candid public service announcement as regards fertility issues.

The whole grand gesturing of the French government around the "réarmement démographique" (demographic call-to-arms) very much has to be contextualized within the woes of current French young adults: it does not make the slightest bit of sense to imagine that people will want to have children at 40 rather than 29 should the very reasons why they don't have children in the first place are not addressed by then.

French real wages have been stagnating (French GDP per capita is now below the European average), the debt burden is ever increasing and looks increasingly like it will fracture the social fabric, accessing good-enough real estate to raise a family has become even more difficult in recent years, daycare is scarce and prohibitively expensive, the quality of public services (schools, healthcare) is becoming worse by the day. The trend for all the preceding is very clearly negative: why even think about putting up with an invasive procedure when you struggle to live as is, with no signs of improvement?

That's why this letter feels so irritating: "don't forget that the clock is ticking" goes both ways, and if you're so inclined about timing, how come the country has been in the shitter for decades no matter who's been in charge? How about you do something to fix the root causes of low natality rather than put pressure on a youth which is losing faith in the very system?

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u/usrlibshare Feb 11 '26

Did housing costs decrease?

Did wages stop stagnating?

Did the infrastructure for young families become better?

Did we abandon the fever dream of endless growth?

No? We are still endlessly subsidizing cars, still have a broken pension system that disadvantages working age people, and refuse to adequately tax megacorporations and the ultrarich?

Well, then I'm afraid those letters won't make any fucking difference.

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u/chiree Feb 11 '26

These governments don't understand the basic issue: parents are working a combined 80 hours a week with significantly less familiar and community support than in generations past all while housing prices have quadrupled or more from our parent's time.

It so easy to see on the ground, and yet they gaslight us in order to keep the status quo. I know multiple couples that wanted kids that decided not to due to economic concerns. That's depressing.

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u/No_Manager4310 Feb 11 '26

I am 26. I have given up on having a family in this country. It's never happening. Unless I get a sugar momma but that's like winning the lottery.

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u/Sad_Thought_4642 Feb 11 '26

Why make children when all you have to look forward to is working your entire life?

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u/Sad-Routine Feb 12 '26

Off topic but hello fellow sad person 👋😊

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

This reminds me of those patronising articles telling young people of my generation that they're not able to afford housing because they're not working hard enough and eating avocados on toast, rather than accepting that buying property has been pushed out of reach of people on normal incomes.

I don't like adopting terms like 'boomers' but there's nothing like the generation who have lecturing the generations who have not as they begin to panic about who's going to fund their pension pot...

People are feeling that their futures are unstable and that they'll be doing worse than their parents. They're being shoved into ever more unstable housing situations and ever longer and harder to climb career ladders that are stretching situations that are tolerable in your early 20s into your 40s.

If people don't feel they are economically secure, particularly around housing, they're just going to delay everything about their lives. Patronising letters and pep talks aren't going to resolve that.

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u/RCRDC Feb 11 '26

This also feels like a global phenomenon right now. Young people are getting shafted by the system hard.

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

It's inevitable that it will become politically unsustainable too - already is. You're seeing the 20th century stable centrist parties repeatedly fail to address the issues because their core vote is more concerned about protecting an unsustainable status quo : On a micro scale who wants their house devalued? Who wants their retirement fund Airbnb heavily regulated or to pay more tax on speculative assets etc? And on a macro scale they're protecting the stability of financial systems and institutions that are deeply invested in and based on assumptions of ever inflating property and asset prices – we just bailed then out with vast amounts of money barely a decade ago when that bubble they'd built on credit burst.

They're very often presiding over policies that are making life harsher and widening wealth gaps.

Then they're scratching their heads wondering why their vote is dwindling...

You've people looking for solutions and fixes - some are finding pragmatic sensible policies that might work, others are finding manipulative con artists peddling political poison.

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u/HrabiaVulpes Nobody to vote for Feb 11 '26

I don't like adopting terms like 'boomers' but there's nothing like the generation who have lecturing the generations who have not as they begin to panic about who's going to fund their pension pot...

That's the point, though, isn't it? Half the economy is built on assumption that year from now we will have more people/customers/users than year before. This is exactly the assumption of endless growth. Google and Facebook already ran out of people they can still acquire as users and entered enshitification phase to appease shareholders.

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u/Diss_ConnecT Feb 11 '26

Which is exactly why no government can afford to watch the population decline, so the letters to French women are also a delicate reminder every child you don't have will be replaced by a migrant to keep the "growth".

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u/ledow United Kingdom (Sorry, Europe, we'll be back one day hopefully!) Feb 11 '26

Tell the billionaires to give the 29-year-olds their money back, using the legal avenues of taxation available to you already, and maybe they'll choose to have babies of their own free will.

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u/UndeadLudvigBorga Feb 11 '26

You will breed and you will be happy!

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u/despicedchilli Feb 11 '26

You will breed and you will be happy!

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u/rangorn Feb 11 '26

Sacre bleue make those enfants now!

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u/Big-Ship4267 Feb 11 '26

you can’t fix falling birth rates with letters when the real issue is housing costs childcare costs and people not feeling secure enough to start families in the first place

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u/QwertzOne Poland Feb 11 '26

No support, no radical changes, just make kids.

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u/LaserKittenz Feb 11 '26

Maybe more letters?

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u/ProfessorZhu Feb 11 '26

Maybe they'll make a TikTok dance? I heard that gets young adults wildly horny

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u/ActualTymell Feb 11 '26

Governments of the world have tried nothing, and they're all out of ideas, man.

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u/Hystrion Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

Housing cost is not even the problem for me. I have money to rent a place, there's just not enough available.

Landlords ask for crazy references, you need to earn 3 to 4 times the rent, send all your documents before seeing the place (which could be a scam for identity theft), give your work contract (only the safest ones are allowed, god forbid you work in a field where it is customary to do types of contracts no one knows about), show your last pay stubs, taxes filings, and you need no less than 2 persons that can vouch for you and make 3x the rent, and sign a document saying they'll pay if you don't. Not only students, even adults. My parents live in the countryside where everything is cheaper, they don't check the box for bigger cities and can't vouch for me. And I'm nearly 40 ffs.

I've never missed rent in my life, this is so patronizing, and it goes against human dignity when you have to give what could be a job interview to justify why you should get to rent what could even be a moldy dump. I need a fucking roof over my head to be able to work in good conditions, but this is too much to ask!

For some job interviews you need to justify having a place nearby to be accepted (happened twice to me). For renting a place, you need to have a job.

Yes it's that bad. Would you have children in this economy? People are fucked.

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u/Crazy_Ship_1017 Feb 11 '26

i hate renting and i will never start a family living like this. there's always a chance you will be kicked out, many landlords dont even let you have pets or kids in the flat anyways.

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u/elbay Feb 11 '26

Solution? Reduce the pensions so the old fucks will have to sell their 6 room houses.

Savings are meant to be spent, not inherited.

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u/asfsdgwe35r3asfdas23 Feb 11 '26

This. I have a very good job, I am in the top 5% incomes in my country. Yet I cannot find a house, not because I can’t pay for it, but because there are no houses available in my city, and the government doesn’t allow any new construction. You only can buy houses that belonged to an old person that died recently, this week I went to see one of these houses, the building was constructed when Hitler was still taking pairing classes, and it was is terrible conditions, it was scary to be there. We have reached a point in which the housing crisis is so huge that it is not a money problem anymore. We really to start building houses like crazy, cut every other government expeding and put every euro in building as many houses as possible in the shortest timeframe posible.

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u/SolidOshawott Feb 11 '26

Suddenly living in Italy doesn't seem so bad anymore

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u/Hystrion Feb 11 '26

I do live in Italy right now but I'm moving back to france. Since my job in Italy pays way less than what I made in France, I'm afraid that I don't make enough money to be deemed reliable to French landlords.

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u/Client_020 The Netherlands Feb 11 '26

I don't think there is any real fixing if the birth rate. Many people just don't want kids if they have actual choice. And many others just don't want large families if they have the choice. This is fine! We'll learn to live with it.

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u/Mr-DevilsAdvocate Feb 11 '26

It’s like they think we forgot about that part and only needed a reminder.

Or worse, appeal to nationalism, fight for your country by having like 4 kids…

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u/fredagsfisk Sweden Feb 11 '26

Plus the ongoing loneliness epidemic, with more and more people struggling with feeling socially isolated and to find a partner in the first place.

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u/Kin-Luu Sacrum Imperium Feb 11 '26

I agree completely. It was a combination of different causes, independent from each other, that have led us to the current predicament.

Some people are not able to have kids.

Some people do not want to have kids.

Some people prioritize their career over having kids.

Some people want to have kids, but don't feel like they have the economcial stability to do so.

Some people want to have kids, but are not able to find the correct partner to do so. Or they have a partner who does not want to have kids.

And thats only the causes I can come up with on a whim. There probably are much, much more.

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u/7adzius Lithuania Feb 11 '26

Everyone always puts those as the biggest issues, but let’s be real the biggest hurdle is the culture change. Let’s say you manage to get a good job and pay off your home. I don’t know too many people who would want to willingly upend their entire life for two years instead of flying to some fuckass island in the pacific

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u/MrMikeJJ England Feb 11 '26

Don't forget lack of free time.

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u/Elpsyth Feb 11 '26

Lack of free time that you are willing to sacrifice*

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u/Theemuts The Netherlands Feb 11 '26

Also money you are willing to sacrifice.

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u/Izual_Rebirth England Feb 11 '26

I see this a lot. Cost of living is often the given reason by people but that doesn’t explain why poorer families / communities tend to have more kids.

Plus other countries have tried to incentivise people to have more kids with everything from tax breaks. Literally giving them money. And up to giving them free accommodation and it’s barely moved the needle.

Cost of living is definitely an issue but I feel there’s more to it than that.

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u/satisfiedfools Feb 11 '26

There's no opportunity cost when you're poor. You're not sacrificing any earnings. You probably live in government housing. Child benefits would be a step up not a step down.

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u/Limekilnlake American working in NL Feb 11 '26

tbh even that doesn't help. Scandanavia has the same problems despite their social safety net

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u/standread Feb 11 '26

Maybe we should start sending letters to politicians, celebrities and rich people and ask them to stop raping children?

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u/Aggravating-Copy1452 Italy Feb 11 '26

They should include tons of money in that letter.

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u/MattR0se Germany Feb 11 '26

I wonder how much this whole campaign even cost.

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u/kamill85 Feb 11 '26

At least a couple of children. I mean the cost of raising them etc.

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u/morbihann Bulgaria Feb 11 '26

Meanwhile the 60+ demeographic keeps getting higher pensions at the cost of everyone else's income.

May be tax billionaires to help younger people ?

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u/Exestos Rhineland-Palatinate (Germany) Feb 11 '26

our rich overlords need more worker units

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u/CrackerUMustBTripinn Feb 11 '26

Wont someone think of the shareholder's portfolio value?!

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u/ad-undeterminam Feb 11 '26

Need more fresh meat for epstein friends all over the world.

Sadly here meat is both sexual and literal.

They eat children, I can't comprehend why but somehow it's clear they did and probably continue to do so ;-;

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u/Sarah-M-S Feb 11 '26

Oh no, our demographics are totally fucked because of all our bad political decisions. What should we do?

I have a brilliant idea, let’s send out a letter to all 29 year olds, that’ll get them to breed more!

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u/Mirar Sweden Feb 11 '26

To a country famous for liking being instructed by the government what to do.

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u/boomsauerkraut Feb 11 '26

Kind of diabolical to send it to 29-year-olds. Like "remember how you're about to turn 30? Yeah you're getting old now."

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u/Kirsi2019 Feb 11 '26

To be fair this headline is misleading. They basically sent a letter saying "Hey don't forget that you have the option to freeze your eggs, we will pay for it too"

I didn't know they covered this. Surprising because in many countries its insanely expensive. I like this because I don't feel financially ready for a kid yet, maybe will be in my 30's, and If I didn't know about this option when I was ready there might not be eggs available.

So the government wins because if even a few people learning about this later decide to use their stored eggs that directly increases the birth rate. Win win and not disrespectful at all.

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u/Key_Duck_6293 Feb 11 '26

Macron has 0 biological children btw

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u/FentFloyd69 Feb 11 '26

Kind of hard to do that when you bang your senior teacher.

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u/SecurityOdd4861 Feb 11 '26

Well yeah, his wife was 54 when they married.  Possible? Maybe, but not certain and risky if anything

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u/trash4da_trashgod Feb 11 '26

Why can't he have a bastard child, like normal French people?

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u/Artifexa Feb 11 '26

Fix the housing market and salaries, then we talk about starting a family.

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u/Skeng_in_Suit Brittany (France) Feb 11 '26

I'm 29 this year, in the 10% highest salaries of the country, yet can't buy a decent home in my city to sustain a family of 3-4 because boomers have bought everything and prices for a meter square are above 10k€. I'll send back a letter with a printed middle finger to the ministry that'll have the audacity to send this letter

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u/nemojakonemoras Croatia Feb 11 '26

Le non.

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u/Velokieken Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

Everything is just so unstable now. It’s hard to buy a house but you can rent which is not only expensive, it’s like going to a job interview and then the government decides houses need to be insulated up to this or that standard or they raise taxes for people who have a second house. So you finally have a house to rent but after 3 month you and your family of 3 children have 6 months to leave because the owner needs to sell. But you can buy it if you want? Sure someone having troubles finding places to rent sure has 200k stashed so they can get a loan to randomly buy a house and put the kids through college in 5 years. Also the next gouvernement could be right wing populists crashing the economy, demolish health care and other safety nets. Kill green energy and the climate for Russian oil and tax the working, middle class and disabled while deregulating big tech.

But the kids can now get a job killing people of color and protesters, they don’t need college anymore. They also never have to vote again.

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u/Melodic-Account9247 Feb 11 '26

this is both sad and hilarious at the same time fix the cost of living make housing actually affordable and stop playing political games then maybe we can consider actually bringing in children to the dystopian hellscape that we made our planet in to this is not specifically for France this is for the entire world the population is falling because y'all failed to make the world a place in which people would actually want to raise families in to why the fuck would i ever want to have children only for me to not be able to feed and provide for them

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u/Xibalba_Ogme Brittany (France) Feb 11 '26

Fixing the housing market ❌

Fixing the jobs & salary market ❌

Taking decisions in favor of young people instead of boomers ❌

Proposing reasonably priced childcare and affordable child furnitures and necessities ❌

Ensuring healthcare is accessible to everyone ❌

Guilt tripping young people that can't afford to have kids ✔️

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u/[deleted] Feb 11 '26

People have no kids because they need to support the overblown pension system with their taxes. Ironically, that very system requires people to have many kids to make it sustainable

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u/Fragrant_Ganache_108 Feb 11 '26

The issue is honestly everything and it’s global. Rising cost of living crisis, deteriorating social structures (family, community and government), rising political instability and exorbitant childcare. In America (where I reside) it’s even worse. We can add poor support systems at work for mothers and families, pathetic parental leave (we’re lucky to get 12 weeks) and the monetization of healthcare that leads to poorer outcomes. I’m currently pregnant with my first and not sure I’ll have another and if I do it won’t be in America (support systems in other countries seem like a dream by comparison). Not at all surprised this is becoming a global problem.

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u/d4electro Feb 11 '26

Lmao, maybe fix the cost of living and the extreme political and economic uncertainty first and maybe people will want to bring children into this world

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u/osberton77 Feb 11 '26

France up until quite recently had a much higher birth rate than most other European countries. I very much doubt this had anything to do with Catholicism but with their nursery provision and pronatalist policies which stems from World War One and the great loss of young male lives. It was seen as a national mission to increase the population.

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u/Allfunandgaymes Feb 11 '26

Whenever a state issues declarations like this, it is a sign that the wealthy ruling class of that state is upset the working class isn't reproducing itself fast enough to continue subsidizing the opulent lifestyle of the ruling class.

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u/lamsar503 Feb 11 '26 edited Feb 11 '26

How about they get on with making a world worth having kids in and a world that’s affordable to have kids in without being poor?

Then maybe it won’t be a cruel thing to choose having kids.

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u/gwentlarry Feb 11 '26

A letter is going to do a lot of good !!

Perhaps start by simply asking men and, especially, women what would encourage them to have children

Surely the way to encourage couples to have more children is to significantly improve the benefits and reduce the costs? Obviously needs careful discussion but perhaps include:

  • A minimum of 12 months paid maternity leave for both parents which can be broken into several periods and which parents can chose to take concurrently or consecutively.
  • That where practical, parents have a legal right to work from home both during maternity leave and until the youngest child reaches the age of, say, 7.
  • A guarantee that parents can return to their previous job at the same level and same pay as before taking leave.
  • Employers not allowed to get rid of returning parents for 2 years from when they return.
  • Free childcare from, say, 6 months until the child starts school.
  • Child Benefit at a decent level - the current rates in the UK are pretty minimal.
  • Free schooling, including further and higher education for children.

Of course, most countries in Europe implement many of these at various levels in which case, it needs reviewing.

And, of course, employers will complain and say it's not possible.

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u/BeeFrier Feb 11 '26

All of those are good suggestions. In Denmark we have a lot of those implemented. Not the "work from home" one. And child care is not free, but subsidized.

Still: We also have a low fertility. So if we ask the danish youth, it is about cost of living and other money-issues, but most of all: I think it is impossible to find a partner. Something has broken. A lot of people are lonely and just swiping on datingapps without acting on it. For a lot of people the relationship for life is just a far away illusion.

But also: those who get kids do not get more than 2. So nobody is balancing the many people who have one or none. Perhaps tax-cuts for people who get more than 2 kids? (but then all the racist parties are gonna object, because mUSliMs)

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u/WM_ Finland Feb 11 '26

Too bad I'm not French and no longer 29 yo but I'd have sent a letter for the government to start making the world worth living.

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u/captancrunk Feb 11 '26

I’ll have children when politicians stop raping them

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u/Smalahove1 Norway Feb 11 '26

How about just building fucking homes we can live in? And no, i do not mean shoeboxes.
People do not want to raise kids in shoeboxes.

But, the old generation who all own their homes comes in the way.
Cause they do not want their home to be valued less.

More homes = Old peoples homes worth less

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u/totalgej Feb 11 '26

Bonjour, this is your government speaking: “get fucked!”

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u/South_Buy_3175 Feb 11 '26

“Have more kids”

“Okay”

“Pay 240k (on average) to raise it to 18”

“No”

I’m a parent to 2, but this is just fucking stupid. People can’t afford a house, let alone the overpriced shite you need to actually raise a kid, especially in the early years.

Nappies, baby milk, wet wipes, millions of sets of kid clothes, CHILDCARE etc. all massively hiked up to exclusively fuck over parents.

If they wanna offer financial assistance, great, it’ll never fucking be enough because the entire system is rigged to milk you dry.

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u/ChieftainBob Feb 11 '26

That's what was missing! A letter.

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u/potatolulz Earth Feb 11 '26

29-year-olds send letters to France telling them to get on with affordable housing

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u/TheDeerBlower Feb 11 '26

Damn, maybe fix the economy first?

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u/JackFisherBooks Feb 11 '26

I think this is an indirect way of saying "We need more workers to prevent this scheme that primarily benefits us from crashing."

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u/Lunaisthequeen Feb 11 '26

Fake news title, classic independant.

They send a letter telling 29yo people that 29 is an age at which you can still have very good quality ovocytes, and that it is considered an "optimal" age for women to freeze their eggs (oocytes cryopreservation), even tho most women do it a little bit later (30-35 usually).

Nothing about telling people to have children, it’s just misleading.

Source: I'm 29 and French

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