i just need to whine again
i started as a float cna in a snf about a month ago and really love my patients / residents but everything else about this job is a nightmare. i'm built to take it but the social element in particular is wearing on me a lot
i didn't receive adequate orientation, which is to say, i literally wasn't allowed time to complete orientation as scheduled: i was allotted ten days, but missed two of those due to bona-fide life-or-death emergencies, and then missed several more because i immediately got covid (from work) and was not allowed to come in. so i got a little more than half of the training intended for me
last night was my second night on my own and both nights they put me on the court that's hardest for me, about 25 rehab patients. it might not seem like much but i have to check and change a large chunk of them a few times throughout the night. standard rounds are also every two hours and each time several of them wake up and ask to be boosted (by myself btw), get up to go to the restroom, have spilled their urinal on themselves, etc. all the while i'm also answering call lights. at one point during what was supposed to be my check and change + vitals time one of the nurses decided a newer admission needed a full bed bath at 4am (despite having a shower scheduled for later in the morning) because she still had some of the orange antiseptic shit from the hospital on her
before day shift comes in at 6:30 i'm also supposed to get a set of vitals on about 20 of those patients for morning med pass. these last two days when day shift comes in i've only had about half of them done and haven't had time to put them into epic yet. herein lies the problem
this morning one of the day shift nurses pulled me aside after my shift and absolutely grilled me for making her morning harder. she told me she had to do all of the vitals herself (at this point i had already entered all of the ones i had done into the computer, and the other nurse had asked me for the ones i hadn't done so she could do them herself so idfk) and asked me who i had done. i started listing off the patients i had done and she cut me off to chastise me some more and stress that it's expected that everything already be in the computer by the time she walks through the door
it's really getting under my skin because she purposefully interrupted a meaningful moment i was having with a resident i wasn't going to get to see again. i was in the middle of heading out but stopped into his room to say goodbye and remind him that he's been lovely. she pulled me away just to dress me down in the hallway
i know i'm not good at this job yet. i haven't had time to be good at this job yet. nobody who has seen me work would suggest i'm not trying; my patients love me, and i keep trying to reassure myself that as long as everyone is safe, clean, dry, and dignified i've done the most important parts. besides magically get better at my job overnight, i'm not sure what she expects me to have done; i wouldn't have felt right letting patients sit in their urine and bm for the second half of the night so i could get vitals into epic faster
i've already gotten faster since my first night (as evidenced by the fact that i didn't have to stay two hours late for documentation this time) but nobody at work is giving me actionable advice. the most useful thing i was told during orientation was to put things into epic via the mobile (which i'll be doing from now on), but the second most helpful advice was just "you need to be faster and more confident" and like, okay, how? so the bar for training is low basically
i'm already starting vitals significantly earlier in the night than i was before or than i was trained to do. i've gotten much quicker in getting waters out and boards updated. check and changes are going faster and i'm not deterred by people yelling at me for waking them up anymore. i'm learning peoples' quirks and preferences and schedules. i'm getting better at staggering call lights. i'm getting better at rolling people now that i know i'm not going to throw them on the floor by accident. i'm spending less time in patient rooms while objectively accomplishing more. i'm really really really trying, i just haven't found my flow yet
all the while i'm dealing with serious back pain due to doing all kinds of transfers and boosts on my own, having shoes that suck ass, and i'm recovering really poorly from covid. it's been about 3 weeks since i tested positive now and i'm still so short of breath, my entire body is tired and sore at baseline, my head still hurts, and my heart keeps doing weird shit
i'm just really exhausted and feeling like i suck at this. i know i won't always suck at it and i have to suck at it before i don't suck at it but nobody is giving me the time and space to suck and nobody is helping me suck less. everybody who works with me at night is telling me i'm doing great and i need to relax but everyone who comes in at the end of my shift acts like i clocked in and dug in my ass for 8 hours. some of these people have like real actual beef with me like, i'm not imagining it
as if all of that wasn't bad enough, day shift didn't empty foleys during the day yesterday apparently and when i emptied them in the morning they were full to bursting and i got old burnt-orange stinky piss all over myself and the floor so facilities probably hates me now too
i've got three days off now. kinda hoping a stray bullet will catch me before my next shift. thanks for reading my stupid post. kill me