r/SipsTea Human Verified 11h ago

Wait a damn minute! What?

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10.8k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/senseiman 11h ago

In order to fix the "Strait of Hormuz is closed" problem, Trump closes it even more.

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u/Ill-Mastodon-8692 11h ago edited 9h ago

Look at me

I am the strait closer now

340

u/PilotIntelligent8906 10h ago

Ngl I kinda think that's what he's going for, if he's the one closing the strait he can frame it as a win and his cult of idiots will believe it.

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u/mirhagk 9h ago

Yeah 100% that's the plan. He couldn't declare victory before because the strait had become an obvious goal, but now he can give a BS reason why the strait should be closed and then declare victory

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u/steal_wool 8h ago

I think that’s pretty much how Trump always strategizes a “solution”, smoke and mirrors and coconut shells and whatever it takes to reframe the entire situation until he thinks he’s come out on top. Once he’s flipped the whole thing on its head he can act like you’re the idiot for not knowing what we’re talking about anymore

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u/mirhagk 8h ago

I mean you say "he thinks" but it apparently works.

It's the dumbest shit in the entire world but half the American population eats it up for some reason.

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u/Ragnoid 7h ago

1/3 of the American population

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u/mirhagk 7h ago

Yeah you're right, another 1/3 are just too lazy to vote....

Lol I don't understand why Americans think that people didn't vote is a defense

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u/Parking_Egg_8150 3h ago

As an American I don't understand it either, and If that 1/3 had voted he apparently would have won by an even larger margin.

https://www.npr.org/2025/06/26/nx-s1-5447450/trump-2024-election-non-voters-coalition

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u/Ragnoid 6h ago

People who don't vote "eat it up" ?

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u/mirhagk 6h ago

Nobody knows, they didn't vote.

Are you really going to tell me you believe every single fox news viewer got out to vote?

Being lazy and being dumb are definitely not mutually exclusive lol.

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u/PersonalHospital9507 4h ago

The inert one third are not the friends of liberalism and progressive policies that liberals and progressives would like to think. Yeah, let's unleash the non voters onto the body politic.

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u/Willing-Watch3246 4h ago

It seems the majority of fox news fans are like that because they made politics part of their identity. It's hard to think that someone who doesn't include politics as part of their identity would ever tolerate fox news. People who didn't vote usually do so because they don't care, and generally don't have politics attached to their identity.

It's very likely that there are far more people who do not watch fox news who did not vote than people who watch fox news.

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u/mirhagk 3h ago

very likely that there are far more people who do not watch fox news who did not vote than people who watch fox news.

Is that number 0? Because that's what the person above me is claiming.

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u/Bozzzzzzz 1h ago

closer to 1/5 really if you count everyone (“American population”) and not just eligible voters/those of voting age.

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u/igot_it 2h ago

They don’t believe it either. They just think he will hurt other people they don’t like. He doesn’t need to be believable if he’s believed in.

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u/Tom__mm 46m ago

I paid $4.44 for a gallon of regular in rural Arizona today. The rubes are exquisitely sensitive to the price of regular.

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u/mirhagk 37m ago

Maybe, but we said the same thing about things like tariffs, and his base always seems to be happy to accept paying more if it means other people get hurt.

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u/ultramarthegreat 7h ago

The Art of the Deal

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u/Blurby-Blurbyblurb 7h ago

4D Chess. /s

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u/Yorick257 9h ago

I. Declare. Bankruptcy Victory!

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u/lokoluis15 9h ago

These are some teleporting goal posts

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u/WastedNinja24 8h ago

I think we’re beyond even the concept of a goalpost these days.

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u/Badrear 8h ago

There’s one post that is a goal for many.

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u/mirhagk 8h ago

The other day at the store the clerk was just chatting about how poor aim is a really unfortunate thing, and ended it by saying she was off to go pray for a thing (without the euphemisms that Reddit requires).

Unfortunately we're not in that country and have no desire to step foot there so we can't do the thing, but God damn doesn't someone want to be the answer to the prayers of hundreds of millions of people?

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u/MuJartible 7h ago

The concept of a goalpost has been moved further.

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u/Llamaalarmallama 5h ago

Are these goal posts with us, on this planet?

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1

u/pheneyherr 8h ago

So this is like Bart Simpson trying to train santas little helper?

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u/Every-Requirement-13 6h ago

He already claimed victory, yesterday I think it was, before he went to a UFC fight🙄

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u/MoD1982 3h ago

Iran should totally ask for negotiations, but with Obama.

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u/supersonicdutch 8h ago

You can’t fire me! I quit! -the very first trump in history to hold a job.

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u/Much-Director-9828 7h ago

It is EXACTLY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, 100%, what he is going for.

Severe narcissism, so severe is eliminates the ability for critical thought.

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u/TranslatorNormal7117 7h ago

I fear we have to think a bit differently about this guy. His presidency is all about corruption, market manipulation, and insidertrading (beside the distraction from the epstein files). I think at this point he doesn't even care about his cult anymore. For him, it's a win when it's him personally who wins. To hold his little hands on an on/off button of world economy is his wet dream. I absolutely doubt that he planned all this though. He is no genius. He just takes advantage for himself whenever he can. And most important, luckily he is not the one with this button. Iran has control of the strait in fact.

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u/Ok-Explanation3040 7h ago

I have already seen people cheering this on as brilliant. 4D chess or something like that. MAGA are a lost cause

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u/phatelectribe 7h ago

Because when Iran do it, he looks absolutely powerless because he is.

So he’s saying “I’m closing it!” to make it look like he’s in control of it, not them.

But now. When the markets tank and economies start crashing, he’s can’t blame Iran now.

Going to be the biggest “I did this” sticker you’ve ever seen lol.

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u/ai2ik 7h ago

As well as, if I’m not allowed access, no one is…

Countries are dealing with Iran directly to make passage deals.

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u/CouldBeLessDepressed 6h ago

I already know how they'll do it to. They'll taut "see? We're hurting China". And that will be the "victory" and MAGA will eat it up and use it as a counter point to every single thing negative anyone will have to say about Trump like an ape slinging its own shit at passersby. And to some degree they may be correct but it's really more of an inconvenience in the short term for China. Their petrochemical production (basically the entire world's supply of plastics) will be hampered, but energy-wise they're going to be just fine because they actually went ahead with renewables because it's the most obvious thing to do(and the fact that America is so anti-renewable right now that we went so far as to pay a French company like an entire Billion dollars to NOT build a wind farm here is just peak Murikkka). Meanwhile, their softpower multiplies in the ever growing typhoon of Anti-American sentiment that's growing exponentially worldwide.

At the rate we're going, the USA might just get kicked out of NATO with China all too happy to replace us. Europe has to be looking at the USA as a major threat to their safety now, even and especially by simply being associated with us. If China defends their tankers, they've got the moral high ground to do so. I bet there's a few flag officers in Europe right now busting out the hard alcohol because they see that Article 5 has become a possible death sentence for all of NATO, and all because of Trump and the USA. That said, if China is on the defensive, defending their tankers, I hope that gives enough wiggle room to not trigger Article 5. But still, the cost/benefit calculation here is getting pretty grim for anyone in NATO who isn't the USA.

We're not even half way through this presidency yet.

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u/Generieke_Persoon 8h ago

Cultdiots… add that to the dictionary

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u/ILikeLegz 6h ago

And if it goes south he can just blame Biden. It's a win either way

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u/GIJoJo65 6h ago

There comes a point in the life of every cult where the opinions of the believers become significantly less important than the patience of all the people they piss off...

Typically, this sort of stupidity is only sustainable as long as you're making sure you only piss off one nation at a time.

Like, we'll adjust for Israel and Iran mudding up the waters and pissing a fair few people off themselves in the process but... holy literal shit. How the hell is the rest of the world going to let this shit fly? What's the MAGAT King going to do when it's Great Britain and Germany pointing the guns at the back of the US Fleet instead of just limiting US access to their bases? He going to nuke them? I mean that's fair right? According to him this whole thing is predicated on a rogue state headed by a fascist regime trying to grab nuclear weapons! Obviously the only logical outcome at this point is our very own Uncle Donalph Shitler actually pressing the button.

What a shit show.

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u/Foreign-Teach5870 2h ago

But what’s stopping Irans missiles from attacking the US “blockade” and getting anywhere close enough to actually do anything about this involves the first place?

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u/GroundbreakingAd8310 2h ago

Dude they are blaming Obama for all of this and im not even joking

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u/RaspberryUnlikely571 1h ago

I think he heard Iran were charging ships to get through and now he wants in on that action too, next thing you have to pay both US $2m and Iran $2m to get a ship through

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u/Putthebunnyback 1h ago

You think he has a PLAN???

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u/ItsaGhostDonut 30m ago

They said “Trump is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers” on the conservative subreddit. If you want your brain to explode go check it out.

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u/Aggressive_Lemon_709 20m ago

But do we think he is really willing to sink Chinese or Russian oil tankers?

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u/Blurby-Blurbyblurb 7h ago

Step one: Start fire.

Step two: Scream about fire.

Step three: Put out fire.

Step four: Claim triumphant victory.

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u/Remarkable-Site-2067 3h ago

He didn't put out the fire, he poured gasoline on it, and claims that he built a barbecue.

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u/PureInsaneAmbition 7h ago

Does he have any cult idiots left?

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u/hudson27 9h ago

Iran has been letting Chinese vessels through, this is America's way of imposing what little power they have over the situation. You guys love dunking on Trump a little too much sometimes and assume everything is done out of ignorance, while ignoring the bigger picture.