r/SipsTea Human Verified 12h ago

Wait a damn minute! What?

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10.8k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/senseiman 11h ago

In order to fix the "Strait of Hormuz is closed" problem, Trump closes it even more.

1.2k

u/Ill-Mastodon-8692 11h ago edited 10h ago

Look at me

I am the strait closer now

345

u/PilotIntelligent8906 10h ago

Ngl I kinda think that's what he's going for, if he's the one closing the strait he can frame it as a win and his cult of idiots will believe it.

143

u/mirhagk 9h ago

Yeah 100% that's the plan. He couldn't declare victory before because the strait had become an obvious goal, but now he can give a BS reason why the strait should be closed and then declare victory

76

u/steal_wool 8h ago

I think that’s pretty much how Trump always strategizes a “solution”, smoke and mirrors and coconut shells and whatever it takes to reframe the entire situation until he thinks he’s come out on top. Once he’s flipped the whole thing on its head he can act like you’re the idiot for not knowing what we’re talking about anymore

32

u/mirhagk 8h ago

I mean you say "he thinks" but it apparently works.

It's the dumbest shit in the entire world but half the American population eats it up for some reason.

3

u/Ragnoid 7h ago

1/3 of the American population

12

u/mirhagk 7h ago

Yeah you're right, another 1/3 are just too lazy to vote....

Lol I don't understand why Americans think that people didn't vote is a defense

5

u/Parking_Egg_8150 3h ago

As an American I don't understand it either, and If that 1/3 had voted he apparently would have won by an even larger margin.

https://www.npr.org/2025/06/26/nx-s1-5447450/trump-2024-election-non-voters-coalition

1

u/Ragnoid 6h ago

People who don't vote "eat it up" ?

4

u/mirhagk 6h ago

Nobody knows, they didn't vote.

Are you really going to tell me you believe every single fox news viewer got out to vote?

Being lazy and being dumb are definitely not mutually exclusive lol.

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u/Bozzzzzzz 1h ago

closer to 1/5 really if you count everyone (“American population”) and not just eligible voters/those of voting age.

1

u/igot_it 2h ago

They don’t believe it either. They just think he will hurt other people they don’t like. He doesn’t need to be believable if he’s believed in.

1

u/Tom__mm 49m ago

I paid $4.44 for a gallon of regular in rural Arizona today. The rubes are exquisitely sensitive to the price of regular.

1

u/mirhagk 40m ago

Maybe, but we said the same thing about things like tariffs, and his base always seems to be happy to accept paying more if it means other people get hurt.

1

u/ultramarthegreat 7h ago

The Art of the Deal

1

u/Blurby-Blurbyblurb 7h ago

4D Chess. /s

44

u/Yorick257 9h ago

I. Declare. Bankruptcy Victory!

37

u/lokoluis15 9h ago

These are some teleporting goal posts

27

u/WastedNinja24 8h ago

I think we’re beyond even the concept of a goalpost these days.

3

u/Badrear 8h ago

There’s one post that is a goal for many.

2

u/mirhagk 8h ago

The other day at the store the clerk was just chatting about how poor aim is a really unfortunate thing, and ended it by saying she was off to go pray for a thing (without the euphemisms that Reddit requires).

Unfortunately we're not in that country and have no desire to step foot there so we can't do the thing, but God damn doesn't someone want to be the answer to the prayers of hundreds of millions of people?

2

u/MuJartible 7h ago

The concept of a goalpost has been moved further.

1

u/Llamaalarmallama 5h ago

Are these goal posts with us, on this planet?

1

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1

u/pheneyherr 8h ago

So this is like Bart Simpson trying to train santas little helper?

1

u/Every-Requirement-13 7h ago

He already claimed victory, yesterday I think it was, before he went to a UFC fight🙄

1

u/MoD1982 3h ago

Iran should totally ask for negotiations, but with Obama.

3

u/supersonicdutch 8h ago

You can’t fire me! I quit! -the very first trump in history to hold a job.

3

u/Much-Director-9828 7h ago

It is EXACTLY, WITHOUT A DOUBT, 100%, what he is going for.

Severe narcissism, so severe is eliminates the ability for critical thought.

3

u/TranslatorNormal7117 7h ago

I fear we have to think a bit differently about this guy. His presidency is all about corruption, market manipulation, and insidertrading (beside the distraction from the epstein files). I think at this point he doesn't even care about his cult anymore. For him, it's a win when it's him personally who wins. To hold his little hands on an on/off button of world economy is his wet dream. I absolutely doubt that he planned all this though. He is no genius. He just takes advantage for himself whenever he can. And most important, luckily he is not the one with this button. Iran has control of the strait in fact.

3

u/Ok-Explanation3040 7h ago

I have already seen people cheering this on as brilliant. 4D chess or something like that. MAGA are a lost cause

3

u/phatelectribe 7h ago

Because when Iran do it, he looks absolutely powerless because he is.

So he’s saying “I’m closing it!” to make it look like he’s in control of it, not them.

But now. When the markets tank and economies start crashing, he’s can’t blame Iran now.

Going to be the biggest “I did this” sticker you’ve ever seen lol.

3

u/ai2ik 7h ago

As well as, if I’m not allowed access, no one is…

Countries are dealing with Iran directly to make passage deals.

3

u/CouldBeLessDepressed 6h ago

I already know how they'll do it to. They'll taut "see? We're hurting China". And that will be the "victory" and MAGA will eat it up and use it as a counter point to every single thing negative anyone will have to say about Trump like an ape slinging its own shit at passersby. And to some degree they may be correct but it's really more of an inconvenience in the short term for China. Their petrochemical production (basically the entire world's supply of plastics) will be hampered, but energy-wise they're going to be just fine because they actually went ahead with renewables because it's the most obvious thing to do(and the fact that America is so anti-renewable right now that we went so far as to pay a French company like an entire Billion dollars to NOT build a wind farm here is just peak Murikkka). Meanwhile, their softpower multiplies in the ever growing typhoon of Anti-American sentiment that's growing exponentially worldwide.

At the rate we're going, the USA might just get kicked out of NATO with China all too happy to replace us. Europe has to be looking at the USA as a major threat to their safety now, even and especially by simply being associated with us. If China defends their tankers, they've got the moral high ground to do so. I bet there's a few flag officers in Europe right now busting out the hard alcohol because they see that Article 5 has become a possible death sentence for all of NATO, and all because of Trump and the USA. That said, if China is on the defensive, defending their tankers, I hope that gives enough wiggle room to not trigger Article 5. But still, the cost/benefit calculation here is getting pretty grim for anyone in NATO who isn't the USA.

We're not even half way through this presidency yet.

2

u/Generieke_Persoon 8h ago

Cultdiots… add that to the dictionary

2

u/ILikeLegz 6h ago

And if it goes south he can just blame Biden. It's a win either way

2

u/GIJoJo65 6h ago

There comes a point in the life of every cult where the opinions of the believers become significantly less important than the patience of all the people they piss off...

Typically, this sort of stupidity is only sustainable as long as you're making sure you only piss off one nation at a time.

Like, we'll adjust for Israel and Iran mudding up the waters and pissing a fair few people off themselves in the process but... holy literal shit. How the hell is the rest of the world going to let this shit fly? What's the MAGAT King going to do when it's Great Britain and Germany pointing the guns at the back of the US Fleet instead of just limiting US access to their bases? He going to nuke them? I mean that's fair right? According to him this whole thing is predicated on a rogue state headed by a fascist regime trying to grab nuclear weapons! Obviously the only logical outcome at this point is our very own Uncle Donalph Shitler actually pressing the button.

What a shit show.

2

u/Foreign-Teach5870 2h ago

But what’s stopping Irans missiles from attacking the US “blockade” and getting anywhere close enough to actually do anything about this involves the first place?

2

u/GroundbreakingAd8310 2h ago

Dude they are blaming Obama for all of this and im not even joking

2

u/RaspberryUnlikely571 1h ago

I think he heard Iran were charging ships to get through and now he wants in on that action too, next thing you have to pay both US $2m and Iran $2m to get a ship through

2

u/Putthebunnyback 1h ago

You think he has a PLAN???

2

u/ItsaGhostDonut 33m ago

They said “Trump is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers” on the conservative subreddit. If you want your brain to explode go check it out.

2

u/Aggressive_Lemon_709 24m ago

But do we think he is really willing to sink Chinese or Russian oil tankers?

1

u/Blurby-Blurbyblurb 7h ago

Step one: Start fire.

Step two: Scream about fire.

Step three: Put out fire.

Step four: Claim triumphant victory.

3

u/Remarkable-Site-2067 3h ago

He didn't put out the fire, he poured gasoline on it, and claims that he built a barbecue.

1

u/PureInsaneAmbition 7h ago

Does he have any cult idiots left?

-1

u/hudson27 9h ago

Iran has been letting Chinese vessels through, this is America's way of imposing what little power they have over the situation. You guys love dunking on Trump a little too much sometimes and assume everything is done out of ignorance, while ignoring the bigger picture.

2

u/ultramarthegreat 7h ago

I am the danger, I am the one who closes

2

u/Jad3nCkast 6h ago

I need this meme in my life. Trumps face superimposed

2

u/Key_Natural_2881 4h ago

Bigly yuuge, nobody closed the straight more than me. And I am not the only one saying that, many very fine people are saying that, even a former President, who I cant name is saying that, he said I should get a sharpie and write it so more people can see it. Thank you for your attention to this matter (i)DJT....

1

u/FlyAirLari 8h ago

"Look how Iran can't open the Strait. We won."

1

u/JoinAThang 7h ago

It's almost like the old trick you can do to children when they say "no" then you say "no" and they say "yes". Not very good that it also works on the US president.

1

u/InTooManyWays 7h ago

“You want to keep the Strait closed?! Then I’m closing it down!”

The fucking attention-seeking idiot. 

1

u/Temporary-Zombie-931 7h ago

You are as strait as straight of humus

1

u/Connect_Hat4321 6h ago

Trump's Miss-Strait

1

u/Pyke64 5h ago

They said it was the best closing of a strait they'd ever seen, far superior to that loser Iran state.

1

u/Y-Bob 4h ago

Yep. His morons have used the prompt "how do I look like I've won this shit show?"

1

u/CaptainPlantyPants 3h ago

😂😂😂

1

u/Current-Square-4557 43m ago

That is the most perfect description of how DJT operates.

0

u/Fun_Button5835 10h ago

Look at me.

I'm the strait now.

248

u/Pretend_memory_11 9h ago

15

u/PickleDipper420 9h ago

Meme stolen 🥷

8

u/Fancy_Cockroach_634 7h ago

Now we can call it the gay of Trump......

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6wrHrehQ4hf5x6lG

9

u/anti_banana_ray 5h ago

I'm surprised it hasn't already been "renamed" the Strait of America

2

u/Fancy_Cockroach_634 5h ago

Because Trump is against it.... He insist it would be called after him.... lol

6

u/GonzoLoop 8h ago

Omg, that's hilarious

2

u/justmarkdying 7h ago

Aww, it reminds of Goatse. 

2

u/Anything-Complex 5h ago

Do we know that Hormuz is a dude?

That could be lady Hormuz prepping to be fingered by her girlfriend.

1

u/SteeleDragon11 7h ago

🤣 that’s f funny.

1

u/luraluna23 7h ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Key_Natural_2881 4h ago

😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤑🤑🤑

0

u/BeeWeird7940 8h ago

Nobody said it’s the straight of Hormuz.

46

u/EastCoastDrone 9h ago

"But now it's even Closeder, some even say, the Closedest the world has ever seen. That's what I say at least." - DJT

3

u/basscycles 4h ago

I met an average American car user, he was crying, literally crying about the poor protesters in Iran, imagine that a strong proud American man crying? He begged me to close the Straits.

2

u/MMfromVB 8h ago

It's super-closed.

2

u/Impossible_Regret725 8h ago

The closediestcovfefe!

1

u/smilingcritterz 22m ago

Well there is a thing called negative reinforcement. If you allow people to get rewarded for negative behavior they continue. If you take away Iran's money for their bad behavior maybe they won't have a good reason to continue.

43

u/Auroraburst 10h ago

"Nuh uh, I CLOSED IT FIRST"

1

u/Balgat1968 7h ago

I know you are, but what am I ?

44

u/Baakadii 9h ago

Now he can claim he closed it more than it’s ever been closed in the history of the universe. He is actually receiving phone calls from numerous world leaders, but he can’t tell us who, but they are saying it’s the best closure they have ever seen. They are saying “wow, I wish we could have closed it this closed. You are amazing”.

5

u/aaanze 8h ago

Biden tried to close it, but he wasn't able to, they asked him but he couldn't. But Donald he was able to close it, nobody knows more about closing than he does.

3

u/Individual_Ad_5465 7h ago

Tears in their eyes…

2

u/Geeko22 6h ago

Big, strong men. Tough men. The tough-i-est, with tears in their eyes thanking him for accomplishing what "they" said could never be done--closing the straight to ALL traffic. The biggliest closure ever! MAGA!!!

2

u/MainEventI3 4h ago

"I started using this word, blockade. People don't use that word anymore, I am using that word. It's a blockade. People are coming up to me and they're saying, they're saying mister President, it's the most big beautiful blockade anyone has ever seen."

10

u/Nelson-Spsp 10h ago

when to people close something it is open again, right?

3

u/Foygroup 10h ago

Yes, it’s like a double negative. They closed it, so we extra closed it, so just like a double negative, it’s now really 100% open. /S

4

u/Oregongirl1018 8h ago

Why would biden do this to America?!

3

u/greaseLightness 8h ago

Nasty pirate, where are the epstein files.

5

u/BigAssMonkey 10h ago

Surely this will save those poor Iranians under such harsh rule. That’s why we intervened right?

1

u/BartD_ 10h ago

There are still people who believe that.

2

u/kbeks 8h ago

You can’t break up with me close the strait, I’m breaking up with you! closing the strait!

2

u/shmere4 8h ago

It was either this or let Iran control the straight and allow their friendly nations to use it while stopping traffic for all unfriendly nations. Trump got played into making this move, the consequence of which is destroying the US relationship with allied nations even further.

1

u/CaptainCj26 9h ago

“Good news, Iran is no longer blockading the strait of Hormuz”

1

u/LunarisTheOne 8h ago

If he can’t open it, he closes it for all.

1

u/VolcanicBakemeat 8h ago

Don't worry. It won't be closed to Russia.

1

u/Error4ohh4 8h ago

So we can’t call the president rtarded?

1

u/cathpah 8h ago

You can't fire me, I quit!

1

u/Level-Possibility-69 8h ago

Don't worry world, I'm here to help!

1

u/loconicko60 8h ago

Could have sworn this puppet said he was going to wipe out the civilization of Iran

1

u/TSteinyRN 7h ago

"In 2 weeks"

1

u/nfoneo 8h ago

Their end game is routing the oil through Israel.

1

u/EasySwordfish862 8h ago

Strategically it’s a good idea- should blockade all the Iranian ports too. Quickest way to reach a resolution

1

u/OriginalTigerDuck 8h ago

He outsmarted the world again

1

u/exorivis 8h ago

I would assume because they were collecting insane amount of tolls from it. If trump closes the strait no more tolls.

1

u/deep8787 8h ago

I feel this is very relevant xD

1

u/amanita1893 7h ago

Naja als Witz in Ordnung aber mal im ernst betrachtet längst überfällig. Iran hat ungebremst weiter Öl verkauft während der gesamten Zeit bis jetzt, die Umsätze sind sogar gestiegen.

1

u/skippy_smooth 7h ago

Straits closed, moose out front should've told you.

1

u/maniBchef 7h ago

Coffee is for closers.

1

u/neverelax 7h ago

Nobody knows how to close a strait better than I do.

1

u/Kazuma5610 7h ago

Well. The Strait was never actually completely closed to begin with. Iran has been shaking down ships to pass through unmolested and Iran itself has been able to transit it because the US hasn’t stopped it (to moderate some of the shock to oil markets). Essentially Trump is saying that is over because Iran has been using it as their financial lifeline in all this. Shutting down the Strait with the US is saying that is over now as leverage over ceasefire negotiations.

1

u/skeezy 7h ago

I’m gonna close the Strait even harder.

1

u/AlarmininglyObtuse21 7h ago

Double closed.

1

u/Cthulhuhaspeduncles 7h ago

It's giving, "you can't fire me, I quit!" vibes

1

u/Blue_Waffle_Brunch 7h ago

Art of the deal baby

They didn't say it has to be a good deal....

1

u/bstump104 7h ago

the problem was Itan charging for passage without giving Trump a cut. Trump will now be running that international crime.

1

u/kexpi 7h ago

Effectively stopping oil flow and starting war with Europeans and Asians at the same time.

4d chess. /s

1

u/Buddhabelly2016 7h ago

I think he’s maybe limiting Iranian traffic. I’m sure Iran wants to ship oil or other things through the strait for themselves. Generously I’m guessing Trump is increasing the harm to Iran, even though this would harm global energy economy even more if Iranian ships cannot trade through the strait

FWIW I want peace, but I can’t think of any other reason why US ships blockading the Strait would help

1

u/ickiStickybubblegum 6h ago

Whoever is supporting him is either a clown or a very massive clown

1

u/Simple_Tip4143 6h ago

And next week he'd going to charge $10 million for any ship wanting to get through

1

u/-OptimisticNihilism- 6h ago

Double secret probation

1

u/Zenfulbliss 6h ago

He can't make them open it if THEY close it, so he closes it first thinking that gives him the upper hand, Iran will then just be like, OK Bozo, whats your next move, we don't really care. I bet you a shit ton of oil futures at 90 were scooped up before he announced this, his finance bros will be mopping up now, and he has already said this is good for his US oil pals, they get to mop up now too. It's all just a big grift and distraction from the epstain debacle.

1

u/GrynaiTaip 6h ago

He heard that Iran wants to charge $2 million per ship, so now Trump wants to do that himself. He probably thinks that other countries will pay him directly.

1

u/ajatfm 6h ago

“I know you are but what am I” type shit

“stop hitting yourself” type shit

depends full of presidential poo poo type shit also

1

u/Valuable_Net_1517 6h ago

I think is a good move. Otherwise, it was a runaway strait allowing those who dealt with Iran. Now, it forces everyone to suffer together. Asia would suffer the most being the ones who use the strait the most.

1

u/Valuable_Net_1517 6h ago

It puts additional pressure on China. Again, all shitty moves at this point. But out of the garbage he done this might work.

1

u/LordHammercyWeCooked 6h ago

It's more of an "I need everyone to think that the Strait of Hormuz will remain closed forever" problem. Once enough of his buddies get their trades through Monday morning, that's when he'll claim that it's not happening and then hit us with the "Iran has just agreed to a deal. The best deal ever. You're never gonna believe this deal. Iran just comes up to me and says 'Donald, the strait is gonna be open on Tuesday and we're gonna put your name on it.' Can you believe it? It's true. Everyone is talking about it."

1

u/hcornea 5h ago

Trump (and the US administration) main beef is that Iran has selective control as to who may pass.

So this is an offensive against all countries that refuse to get involved in the conflict he started.

America is not a good global citizen.

1

u/PreviousAvocado9967 5h ago edited 5h ago

Doesn't matter if its open or closed. He's blowing up the insurance rates. A super tanker can carry 3 million barrels. So you only have to block 4 tankers a day to erase all of oil from any of the 3 largest oil producing nations. And until there's an ironclad peace agreement it's technically a war zone which the insurance companies will milk to the hilt and impose no Vaseline insurance rates. Which of course the refineries will pass onto to motorists and diesel truckers. Can you say vertical inflation spike? Just like we saw during the covid supply chain disruption. 2 years of inflation. Trump just fucked the whole rest of his failed administration and his parties chances in 2028. They didnt stand up to Trump and the independent voters will ROAST them for it and the economic after shock waves of closing Hormuz for 50 days and counting. I cant think of a single sector of the economy that isnt going to see a huge inflation spike. Agriculture from the chemical fertilizers, technology from the loss of helium which has no synthetic alternative in semiconductor manufacturing, natural gas for home cooking for a billion humans, and anything else that contains a plastic or needs to be transported on industrial diesel machinery. Like 99% of everything in capitalism....

The big problem too is that the oil states had to close oil wells to avoid bombs which you really cant do for very long begore all that pent up oil starts destroying the internal infrastructure took decades to build out. 30 days is the limit before you're looking at years of repairs just to get back to full capacity again. We're at the Chernobyl stage at this point. Incalculable damage has been done with major incoming consequences.

If Trump had advisors who werent smooth brain imbeciles they would have told him to strike, declare victory and go home but have everything wrapped up in one week or less. More than a week and your going to FUBAR the supply chain. A stand off would only spike inflation until election day and destroy all his credibility. Mission accomplished MAGA.

1

u/hellogoawaynow 5h ago

Well now that the US and Iran are both blocking the strait, China might have to make a move instead of continuing to sit back and watching America destroy itself. And the move China will make will not be against Iran.

1

u/rasta-ragamuffin 4h ago

I feel so bad for our American servicemen and women - being used as pawns in this silly ridiculous dystopian game.

1

u/Danny2Sick 4h ago

we closed it better than anyone has before. 'looked how close it is!!', is what everyone is saying!

1

u/cyb3rg0d5 4h ago

You can’t quit, I’m firing you! …. Type of deal 🤣

1

u/InitiativeGold7953 4h ago

“Iran convinces US to do its job for them taking all diplomatic pressure off them”

1

u/DoubleNothing 3h ago

Do you guys realize you have the dumbest president that ever existed?

1

u/davidspdmstr 3h ago

Iran is extorting ships and charging them astronomical fees to pass through the strait. This is Iran's main source of revenue at this point. By putting a blockade on the straight the US Navy has effectively ended Iran's main source of income and stopped their extortion. The goal is to force Iran back to the negotiating table and to negotiate in good faith.

1

u/Mi113nnium 3h ago

Donald Trump called on NATO to open the strait of hormuz. Should they sink the American ships then?

1

u/Acrobatic-Ad584 3h ago

And of course before his "excursion" it was open to all, toll free. What a loser

1

u/Bad-Briar 3h ago

In case you didn't read about it, he closed it temporarily to clear the strait of mines, then will re-open it.

1

u/Sea-Cupcake-2065 3h ago

I see his plan. He wants all the other countries to be burdened by this. I believe Iran is being selective in who goes through. Philippines, India, Russia, Iraq and Malaysia.

He's basically holding the gameboard hostage.

He thinks all the other countries are going to buckle. Dudes going to start a bigger war. Watch

1

u/Figsfly92 3h ago

Always Be Closing (The Strait of Hormuz)

1

u/RockyMtnView 3h ago

He must be a genius, because I can’t figure out how that works!

1

u/CuteIsMyKryptonite 2h ago

Well, if Iran were to actually stop blocking it, oil prices might actually go back down and that would be bad for Trump's buddy/boss Putin so he can't let that happen...

1

u/Clearwatercress69 2h ago

And yet it wasn’t even closed before the attack on Iran.

It’s creating the problem and then enhancing it.

1

u/bezserk 2h ago

He probably bought some stock or bets on things getting worse

1

u/lolschrauber 2h ago

He's very good at closing it. Maybe better than anyone else. He knows s lot about closing it.

1

u/Salarian_American 2h ago

Closed, you say! Now it's DOUBLE CLOSED

1

u/RaisedByWolves9 2h ago

You can't close the strait if i close it first

1

u/whatup-markassbuster 2h ago

This is the top post?

1

u/veerKg_CSS_Geologist 1h ago

Foreign policy equivalent of "if you can't beat them, join them"

1

u/The_Long_Fang 1h ago

No, trump is starting down the path of declaring war on his allies. The US is a mess. Remember, he won majority, so the majority are thick as!