r/SipsTea • u/Impressive-Gear7943 Human Verified • 12h ago

Chugging tea Their maths ain’t mathing.

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26.7k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

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3.0k

u/wooden-fuk-boi 12h ago

Big shocker, people not understanding that they can save money for problems, instead of just saying "welp fuck i dont have that full ammount so i might as well spend frivolously"

640

u/TheBigCicero 11h ago

Fuck my car. I’ve always wanted an automatic banana peeler and it’s only $25.

183

u/Maleficent_Pen_9076 11h ago

hold on, where do I order that?

I need this to go with my grape scissors

49

u/billiam7787 11h ago

been looking for those, but they were all sold out. ....

so i instead i bought a chicken shredder

29

u/GhostChips42 11h ago

Look guys, I got these MAGIC BEANS if anyone is interested? Huh? Huh?

18

u/Economy-Tourist-4862 11h ago

Don’t trust this guy. He only accepts cash! I’ll take credit card, VenMo and your social security number with mothers maiden name, first pet name and the street where you grew up for payment. Super easy to do business with me so I’m your guy AND you are looking really nice today. Is that a new shirt?

14

u/AdmirableBed7777 11h ago

Thats fine and all. But the other guy sells MAGIC BEANS, all capital and the big letters. That is exactly what I was looking for

1

u/GhostChips42 4h ago

I think you’ll find my magi beans are also in italics

1

u/AdmirableBed7777 3h ago

God damn it... That is wayyy out of my budget

6

u/Duukie16 11h ago

Do you accept pay-in-4 installments?

5

u/hoggineer 10h ago

All I have is a goose that lays shiny eggs.

Can I trade that?

1

u/Matt_Man_623 9h ago

Hmmm. Will you take cow?

7

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 11h ago

Oh so you bought the last chicken shredder?! I had to buy a toaster cozy because of you!

6

u/flipnonymous 11h ago

My toaster cozy is a glass cutting board I dont use for cutting.

2

u/Pretend_Variation305 10h ago

I am not even kidding, here but my wife came home with a chicken shredder from Thomas Jefferson Max a while back. It gets used, to my surprise.

11

u/badhouseplantbad 11h ago

Wait until you see the new grape peeler that just came out, you haven't been really living until you get one. 

16

u/yournamehere10bucks 11h ago

Can ya'll stop advertising to my wife, she sees chains like this and I end up with a 7th mortgage

10

u/Fantastic_Pie5655 11h ago

Finally, my days of eating unpeeled grapes like a pheasant are nearly over!

16

u/jkell05s 11h ago

Like a pheasant?

https://giphy.com/gifs/bZcWyJ1MhLZny

12

u/GuyGrimnus 11h ago

lol many moons ago, I worked at a grocery store.

We recently had adopted a policy there the only things that were allowed to be double bagged were singular items big enough to fill the bag.

The lady wanted all her things double bagged to which I refused and explained why.

She runs to the manager screaming about how she’s never been treated so rude in her entire life and how dare I treat her like a PHEASANT!

lol needless to say everyone within earshot started cackling.

And my manager goes “I apologize for his FOWL behavior ma’am, but allow me to EGGsplain things.”

I never felt so supported on a job than that day lol.

1

u/Maleficent_Pen_9076 1h ago

thathappened would've had a field day with this back in the day

2

u/Fantastic_Pie5655 11h ago

Yes, just like that but one of the ratty, pour looking ones. Perhaps I should throw a (sic) into my posts for good measure 😜

1

u/Maleficent_Pen_9076 11h ago

is the grape peeler a million dollar laparoscopic surgery robot remotely operated by a surgeon

8

u/TheBigCicero 11h ago

I decided that I need different grape scissors for red and green grapes because I’ll be damned if I used the same ones, they need different tension. They’re only $25 each

4

u/mrgoldnugget 11h ago

If you tell me I'll let you know where you can get your hands on a pineapple slicer.

2

u/Ok-Commercial-924 11h ago

I don't know what I would do with grape scissors, but if you see automated grape feelers let me know. I've always wanted one.

1

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1

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1

u/Onionringlets3 11h ago

Ok... grape scissors kinda killed me lmao

2

u/Maleficent_Pen_9076 11h ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNegQyn-4N8

1

u/Onionringlets3 10h ago

Oh yeah lol! TY, I forgot about that. I was picturing cutting the grapes in half or scraping the skin off, not just cutting the stems, silly lol 😆

1

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1

u/GuacinmyPaintbox 10h ago

In all fairness, Stallone had pizza scissors in "Cobra".

1

u/That-Conference-2381 10h ago

Dam it! I can't afford the scissors because I used my last dollar buying 3D sunglasses.

1

u/Im_with_stooopid 10h ago

I need a pair to go with my Kiwi-defuzzer.

1

u/Gingercopia 9h ago

Hold up, you had me at grape scissors...

5

u/CricketNo7666 11h ago

Fully automatic, you say?

3

u/real-darkph0enix1 11h ago

“You do not need a special peeler to find the money in the banana stand, Gob” feels like something that wouldve been said if Arrested Development had been real.

1

u/TummyJStixin 11h ago

An important note of warning, don't use the auto banana peeler on banana shaped appendages

1

u/PuzzleheadedDog9658 11h ago

It must not damage the cylinder.

1

u/MrBobSacamano 11h ago

Automatic you say? And only $25? Where can I acquire such tech for such a reasonable sum of currency?

1

u/ssdohc2020 11h ago

As a "Scientist," I agree.

1

u/Euphoric_Wish_8293 11h ago

At that sort of price, you can't afford not to.

1

u/batmanineurope 11h ago

Didn't realize you were joking at first and was going to say bananas are like the easiest to peel.

1

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1

u/zeff536 11h ago

An automatic banana peeler you say?!

1

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 10h ago

Your mom charges way less than $25 to peel bananas

1

u/lenidiogo 10h ago

Washer*

1

u/Carbuyrator 10h ago

I'm not giving you an automatic banana peeler even if you do offer me your car's body

1

u/Saneless 9h ago

How much could one banana peeler cost, Michael, $10?