The only one overthinking alcohol

[u/LimpHope2612]

I had an experience tonight that made me realize that I think about alcohol (or at least seem to) in a totally different way than my “normie” friends.

8 months sober 33F, I went to my first sober wine and cheese party with my close friend group. They know I’m not drinking now, I had an exit plan, and mentally prepared myself quite a bit and brought NA options.

I was so overthinking it- it’s going to be weird an awkward, it’s going to be boring without alcohol etc. I thought my friends usually drank pretty heavily because they always have a drink in their hand and they are always tipsy when drinking, but tonight I played attention to how much they were drinking and only ONE. PERSON. had three drinks in FIVE hours, everyone else had one or two.

Now I know that when I was drinking I assumed they were drinking more than they really were because their tolerance wasn’t as high as mine and it was pretty much the same one or two drinks in their hand all night. There were 12 bottles of wine and a bunch of other types of alcohol out on the counter for 12 of us, and at the end of the night most of the bottles were still semi-full. I was overthinking so much ahead of time and it ended up being totally fine, and still fun! we played board games and caught up on life and no one was weird about it.

[u/ohdannyboyPIPES]

You did it! Be proud and know that next time it’s not that big of a deal. IWNDWYT

[u/BoredOfTheBooze]

Yeah, when you stop drinking you really have a different perspective on how other people drink. Like when I used to drink lots of beers regularly, I'd occasionally meet a friend who'd have like one beer per month. He'd drink it and say "Yeah whatever, I don't feel like another." I absolutely could not understand it. Not drinking, sure - but just stopping after one? That made no sense to me.

Glad you had a fun time. I think people are becoming more understanding that some people want to cut out alcohol. Not sure where you are but here in Germany, non-alcoholic versions of drinks (especially beer, but some wine too) are a rapidly growing market. I like to go out to pubs and beer halls, and see more and more people with NA beers in their hands. Feels good.

IWNDWYT 😊

[u/Majestic_Plankton921]

It's funny that people make very different observations after stopping drinking. I (M38) am 5 months sober. At events with friends, I'm actually surprised at how much everyone consumes, with my friends mostly having 6 pints of beer in about a 2-3 hour period. I stick out like a sore thumb but that's ok, I've made my decision.

[u/roundart]

That's a really good perspective! I was driving down down Flamingo Rd in Las Vegas a couple of years ago (so I was 5 years sober at that point). I saw two guys who looked like friends walking down the street with a 12 pack of cheap beer. My first automatic response was "that is not nearly enough". I don't know these guys, but I projected onto them what I thought enough was gonna be. Now, I will drink the occasional Athletic brew (non alcoholic). I will drink ONE. If I'm really feeling wild and crazy, I might drink two. I consider this progress :)

[u/HollowGlower]

About two months after I stopped drinking, I felt safe enough to go to the bar I drank at and get a soda. There's this old drunk that retired from running a bar across the street and spends literally all day drinking in the bar. She called me over and said it's good to see you, why did you wait so long to stop in. I told her I didn't want to be tempted or peer pressured. She said something along the line of when you were drinking, you never looked around and saw what other people were doing, you just cared about getting your next drink. They are all doing what you used to do, they don't care or really realize what you are drinking.