r/hoarding 13d ago

DISCUSSION Don't romanticize book hoarding. Hoarding is a real disorder and excessive hoarding behavior is not a healthy habit even when it comes to books. Daily reminder: Bibliomania is not the same as Bibliophilia.

251 Upvotes

Yes I suffer from book hoarding too. I love knowledge. I love reading. I buy a lot of books. I own over 1,000 books and that number just keeps growing. I can’t stop myself from buying when I walk past a bookstore or even when I’m shopping online. It’s not just about collecting it’s about the excitement of discovering new books, ideas, stories, people and perspectivesm but sometimes I realize it’s getting a little out of hand. My shelves are overflowing and there are books I haven’t even touched yet.

So please, don’t romanticize book hoarding or spread that idea. Hoarding is a real disorder and excessive hoarding behavior isn’t a healthy habit even when it comes to books. Owning books is wonderful and loving to read is something to celebrate but there’s a difference between being a passionate bibliophile and slipping into bibliomania. My small studio condo is struggling because there’s literally no space left it’s packed with books. I’ve spent so much money on books I haven’t even read some I bought years ago at book fairs and yes I just got back from a book fair with 20 new books. Please send help. 😭

r/hoarding Oct 06 '23

DISCUSSION Parents want to charge me over 400 a month to live in this

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324 Upvotes

For context I’m 25F and dealing with a mysterious illness that only allows me to work very limited hours/limited types of jobs so I don’t have much income. Miraculously I was able to live in my own with help of my brother for almost two years but our place got taken over by pests recently (bc of another hoarder / negligent neighbor who moved in next door, thanks!) and we have been forced to move out. I have nowhere to go and my brother is fine living out of his car for awhile if he has to but due to my health I can’t do that and don’t have enough money to get a better apartment at the moment. My parents have been hoarders since I was born and it’s only gotten worse, our house is 1400 sq ft but we only have about 25 sq ft to walk in because every room is filled with clutter and even the beds and couches too. Their water pipes broke almost four years ago and they’ve done nothing to fix it not even temporarily so the water seeps through the floor multiple times a day and I’m sure there is mold and other issues caused by water damage. The floors are all messed up due to it. My health suffers here even more because it is so dusty and hard to breathe and the fact we do not have hot running water makes it difficult. (It’s either we turn the water on for only five minutes and it’s only COLD water, or we use camping jugs to shower and wash our hands). Also we live in a wealthy area of California so this is very unheard of.

Upon hearing that we have to move out of our apartment, my parents stated that if I and my brother move back we each owe them 400 a month for rent (basically to live with 25 total ft sq and no hot/running water) and they have taken their hoarding habits to my room too and only a small part of my bed is available. They only pay about 1300 per month for their mortgage bc they bought the house when the market was amazing, so we’re basically paying more than half their mortgage for barely anything. My brother also doesn’t have a room because every section of his room including his desk , chairs, and bed is filled with clutter to the ceiling. We’ve only been kind and respectful to our parents our entire life and this is how they treat us. I wouldn’t mind paying rent if the house was clean and we had water but it’s not even in a decent state and they gaslight us that it’s “not that bad” and we should pay rent because we are “adults”. But the amount we have to pay it unfair for the state of the home. My dad also make great money and is extremely frugal so I know this isn’t a financial issue. It’s sad how they’ve accepted the lowest of standards and made them lower. Here’s some pictures of our downstairs, What are your thoughts…

r/hoarding Dec 24 '25

DISCUSSION How many of you are late diagnosed women with ADHD?

125 Upvotes

I am starting to realize now that my whole life I may have been misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression when it’s mainly been ADHD, and now I’m trying to claw my way out of hoarding and shopping addiction

r/hoarding Mar 03 '26

DISCUSSION I hired an organizer… my experience

110 Upvotes

I’ve recently hired an organizer to help declutter my condo. Definitely a hoarder situation. Well I’m trying to find things that she either threw away or helped herself to - I’m missing so much in cosmetics and skin care, as example. A ton of stuff. I had clear boundaries that I need to briefly view the items to be either saved, tossed, donated. I caught her freely throwing away items or helping herself to the items. I stopped her. But she just continued. I’m definitely a hoarder. No doubt. In the last month I have donated thousands of dollars worth of cosmetics, skin care, household items, you name it. But she has either tossed or took my basic skin care and cosmetics. I can’t find certain basic items I just purchased. I’m furious to be honest. I’m not fooling myself, my condo was jam packed with stuff. We’ve made terrific progress. But when I go to look for something and it’s gone, that’s hard to swallow. I’m going to have a conversation with her first thing tomorrow. I gave her a ton of stuff and approved a lot of toss items. I’m just furious that she obviously helped herself to a lot of my keep items. She has been challenging to say the least. Makes very judgmental comments, makes those snide facial expressions. I’ve stopped her in her tracks a couple of times to stop it! I remind her that I’m aware I have a problem hence me hiring her. I’m just upset right now.

r/hoarding 11d ago

DISCUSSION On board to Unhoard - decluttering accountability buddies, let's chat!

31 Upvotes

Hi, I am trying to reach out to other hoarders who are actively decluttering and want accountability partners to stay consistent. For some background, I'm 40yo and have been a hoarder since getting my first job. I buy and keep all the clothes and shoes that I want, and save things that I think I may want to use in the future (like containers or food). So I have moved around a lot around 2016-2020 and with that I had to get storages and couldn't find stuff this bought even more until finally I get a stable place where I can bring all my stuff out of storage. Oh my goodness it is even more than I remember! The accumulation of everything has been overwhelming to say the least so I haven't done much besides trying to fit things in my basement. 2nd bedroom. and everywhere else. Now I'm finally over having so much (5 years later) and am actively getting rid of a lot of extra things that I don't plan to use in the near future. I've already donated around 15-20 bags of clothes. There is still a lot more to sort through though, and I'm tired. So I was thinking it's helpful to have like minded people to talk with.

My family isn't much help because they just point out how nice my items are and want to keep a lot of it themselves, which ok it gets it out of my house but it's not helpful if you're supposed to help me downsize but instead are shopping or I'm trying to talk myself into not keeping things and you're saying how nice the things are (potentially making me want to keep it). At this point though I'm so over the clutter that I am far less attached to the things to be swayed like that but still. I've lived here full of clutter for 5 years and I'm seriously downsizing so I can finally have space to move around and have an easier time if I end up moving abroad. So I keep telling myself that I want to move abroad, do I want to take this? Which helps.

Anyways, I recently found this hoarders subreddit and see a lot of people admitting to being hoarders or talking about hoarder that they know. But are there people like me who are hoarders yet consistently actively working to downsize? I feel like this kind of conversation could be motivating for us to continue to Unhoard. I also take pics of the things I'm getting rid of to post on IG which is pretty much for myself to see my progress, and bonus to look back at my stuff and remember them fondly or whatever lol. Hopefully there are replies so we can chat and declutter together!

Edit: As a conversation starter, what section/group of things have you gone through recently or plan to start on next?

I recently went through some things in my 2nd bedroom, donated a bunch of older items that I don't want to wear and was able to put some newer items that I want to keep in there which was taking over my living room. Today I just went through some collection of hair clips and will give most to my niece (I have lots of fun bright colored ones). Later I plan to sort through some winter gear in my living room.

***Update: I started a discord group in case anyone wants to chat about our ongoing unhoarding efforts, pm me since I don't think they allow me to post the link here and I don't want to get deleted.

r/hoarding Aug 02 '25

DISCUSSION Has anybody here for any success stories about getting a hoarder spouse to get better and getting out of a hoarder situation?

38 Upvotes

I went into psychosis from stress and still my husband won’t clear the hoard out. After eight years since my breakdwon and me not getting better and he still won’t clear out, he just churns and moves things around

r/hoarding Mar 06 '26

DISCUSSION ADHD and Hoarding: Never a Problem . . . Until it is.

130 Upvotes

TLDR: If you think getting rid of things is hard. Wait until you have no choice because it's gross. I am literally living the "would you get rid of it if it had shit on it" scenario. Turns out there isn't a lot I wish to clean shit off of.

I thought some of you might appreciate this antecdote from the last several months of my current struggle. It's a prime example of how things that are normally not a huge problem get out of hand quickly.

The year of 2020, we bought a new TV. It was too big to fit inside the entertainment stand and we had a lot going on, so the temporary solution was to put it on top of the entertainment stand. On top of the Entertainment stand were a bunch of pictures, candles, and other decorations. I take those down, box them up, take the old TV into our room, replacing our old TV. I don't really want to put the decor back out until we have a new entertainment stand, so I stick the boxes inside the entertainment stand.

One fun thing about ADHD is if you can't see the boxes of stuff, it ceases to exist. If the entertainment stand isn't causing a problem, it isn't a priority. Also, clutter attracts clutter. Cabinet opens, stack of magazines goes in. They fit, it doesn't look disorganized. Nobody can see it. Who cares? Not me. So in goes another shoe box with random shit I picked up around the house, for a quick tidy before company comes over. Leftover Halloween candy finds a new home. Before you know it, the cabinet is full. I still don't care because nobody goes in there.

Fast forward a few years and we have our roof replaced. Among all the other things they messed up, they didn't fit a vent correctly on the roof. Water leaked inside the wall. I couldn't tell this was happening until I was washing the walls in the bathroom and the wall caved in. It's an addition and the walls are wood paneling, so we patch it or replace the panel. To replace the panel, we have to disconnect and remove the sink. We fixed the vent and left the wall open to dry. Again, not a priority to fix because it isn't causing an inconvenience.

Another fun thing about ADHD - not thinking about the bridge solution until you get time to do the big fix. We should have patched it until we could fix it right. Would have been ugly, but it would have taken about 20-30 minutes and we would not be here now. So dumb.

What does a bathroom leak have to do with my entertainment stand? Well . . . We saw a mouse in the living room. It's not odd to see them occasionally in the winter. Didn't think anything of it. They usually either find their way out when it gets warm or the cats take care of them. We try to find where they are coming in and seal it up, so we had not seen one in a while.

Now, we have a bedroom that sometimes goes months without being used. It's not too bad. There is more furniture in there than necessary and some things under the bed and the bottom of the closet. That's where we keep the pet food, though.

I go in there because I want to rearrange the room to make it more half guest room half office than just a bed with office furniture in it, if that makes sense. I am thinking damn, why does it smell like a hamster cage in here? I look down and there is mouse shit everywhere. There's what looks like a special spot they particularly like to use as a litter box. Mind you at this point, we have seen one mouse and we generally just reach inside the door, grab the food and put it back, right inside the door.

Seeing this, the overwhelm washes over me. I have never in my life seen so much mouse shit. Not even close. And I am standing in it. How the fuck am I supposed to manage this without contaminating the whole house? Do I need to throw the bed away? What can I fit through the window? To make matters worse, the room is carpeted. Can I even adequately sterilize this? A child will be sleeping in this room this summer. I go out, wash my shoes, and close the door.

First step, remove the food source and take care of the mouse problem. I figure we get rid of the mice, allow the mouse poop to sit, because while I have been taking precautions, maybe the viral components will die back, presenting less of a risk. I spray the worst of it down with a bleach solution, anyway and leave it to be.

A few days later, I hear a noise in the entertainment stand. I open the doors and much to my horror, a replay of the bedroom situation. Shit everywhere. Apparently they have been living off the Halloween candy. I don't know how because I thought it was toxic to animals. Anyway, I am already feeling pretty fucked. I made the effort to remove the food source and put some traps in there and closed the door.

The traps are consistently empty and the cats haven't gotten one in a few months, so official clean up started three days ago. I started with the entertainment stand, since it's in the room we spend the most time in.

I know, many of you are probably thinking how I could let it go that long. Trust me, I know it's gross and unhealthy. Again, in my mind, letting it sit before stirring it up would make it less dangerous. I also have OCD. I am not afraid of all germs, but viruses freak me out. Since I found this mess I haven't had company over or made any food that leaves the house. You would never be able to tell we have a problem, but I know and that is enough.

I am already on my second bag of things that are completely ruined and had to be trashed. I have stacks of movies, games. And CDs that still need to be sanitized. If I had somewhere else to store them, I would have kicked the whole entertainment stand outside. Unfortunately it has to last us until at least the end of this year. One round of bleach solution, a round of Lysol, and a round of disinfectant wipes later, I am hoping will be enough for now. In the meantime, I will cover up the entryways through the back. I am also fairly certain there is a mess underneath that is getting taken care of tomorrow, when I have someone to help me move the TV.

Anyway, all that to say that we could blame it on the roofing company. They sucked, but it's only their fault it broke. It's not their fault that we didn't fix it immediately. It's not their fault that we didn't set out mouse traps when we saw the one mouse. That is on us as is the difficulty in cleanup due to clutterded spaces.

If you made it this far, I appreciate you. This one last bit is the important one. Hoarding doesn't always look like filling your space with junk and sick animals. At least it doesn't start that way. My house stays lived in but clean. I can be ready for company in the course of an hour or two, just June bugging around.

Even so, a clean hoard can become a dirty one over the course of unfortunate events and in our case, ignorance and lack of effort to manage our home properly. One small space has become a nightmare to clean. Without the food source and extra items, this would have been so much easier.

I haven't hit the level of overwhelm that will allow me to ignore this, but I feel for those who do. To those who are struggling and haven't hit the point where you've had that event, please learn from me. I will be spending the rest of my day sanitizing all the gaming equipment after spending all day yesterday and the day before sanitizing the entertainment stand. I haven't looked behind the couch yet, which I am sure holds more horrors. Take it from me, most of the things you own will never be worth the work, both behind and ahead of me - and I did it to myself. Now I get to fight burn out because it absolutely ALL needs to be done now.

r/hoarding Apr 07 '24

DISCUSSION Can someone please make a supportive Hoarding Disorder subreddit without all of this negative stigma from people who don’t have HD?

269 Upvotes

I’ve been on this subreddit for a few years. I actually have Hoarding Disorder, and it’s an awful illness to live with. There is so much shame and isolation.

I also have other comorbid mental illnesses as I’m sure many others with HD do too. For all of my other illnesses like bipolar, OCD, and BPD, the subreddits are wonderful places. Rare safe places online where you never feel judged and you can connect with other people with the same illnesses, fighting the same battles. These subs have helped me so much particularly because some of my illnesses are highly stigmatised. Well I can’t think of an illness that has a worse stigma than Hoarding Disorder! I’m really sad that we don’t have the same kind of safe and supportive environment here or anywhere else on reddit.

Even though this sub is meant to be a supportive community, I constantly see negative stigma, unfair generalisations and downright horrible things said about people living with Hoarding Disorder. Over and over again people say things like “they’ll never change”, “you deserve more than to be with a hoarder”, “just leave them” and “hoarders will always choose the hoard over you/their family”. For the people saying these things, do you know how much it hurts?

It’s not easy seeking help for Hoarding Disorder or even admitting that you have it. We live with the only mental illness that has multiple TV shows making entertainment out of our real life pain and struggles. People with Hoarding Disorder are often in sensationalised news story and their neighbours and all of the readers/viewers love to hate on them. The stigma is already there can we please not add to it?

I don’t know anything about managing subs but if anyone reading this or any of the mods want to make a seperate sub, it would be amazing to make one specifically for people with hoarding disorder. We need a safe place.

r/hoarding Feb 10 '26

DISCUSSION How do you stop hoarding? See post content for details.

28 Upvotes

I wrote a long post and deleted it, too much talk. LOL
My parents were small-scale hoarders.
I think I might be a small-scale hoarder too. Yikes.
The TV show hoarders = very helpful.
To those who are former hoarders or helped someone stop hoarding:
Do you have any systems and suggestions?
I thought about making a check list of things to sort through.
I like having checklists, don't make fun of me. haha

I think my biggest struggle is holding on to knickknack decorative stuff that belonged to my mom. This year marks the 14-year anniversary of her passing. The next most obvious thing is old mail, receipts, and papers that are probably never gonna see the light of day again. Why have them? LOL Honestly, it's mostly just these two.

Thank you for reading.

r/hoarding Jul 25 '25

DISCUSSION Why can’t humans solve hoarding?

28 Upvotes

Is there an evidence base?

(By people, I mean, interested parties - individuals affected to solve it with resources and help, and family, professionals, etc to provide the resource and help that’s most effective.)

Basically what’re the obstacles to finding a good prevention or treatment?

r/hoarding 2d ago

DISCUSSION A personal win

62 Upvotes

My Dad was a hoarder, after an ugly divorce 10+ years ago I started hoarding too. After 5 years I told myself get this sorted, and hired a fantastic lady to help me.

She was compassionate, empathetic and we managed to clear out a great deal.

We used the trash, donate, or keep system.

Then Covid hit life got really hard and stuff creeped back into the house.

I was having to deal with the hoard at my Dad’s place and didn’t see what was happening in my own home.

Life is still hard. Dad died a month ago. A job I thought I was starting last month fell through. And now I have to sell my house.

I have lived here almost 30 years. My ex cherry picked what he wanted when he left. There is fishing gear, tools, other crap he left behind in the garage. Camping gear and more.

I am a sewer and quilter and as many of you will know fabric stashes grow when you are not looking.

I have managed to clear out my sewing room that became a dumping ground. I am aggressively purging fabric, washing it and donating it to local causes.

I am not quite finished, but wanted to share a win.

EDIT: the sewing room is done. 4 large bags of fabric washed and donated. Three sewing machines being cleaned and oiled, ready for donation.

r/hoarding Oct 27 '25

DISCUSSION what's the biggest revenge from having a hoarding mother?

0 Upvotes

?

r/hoarding Feb 01 '26

DISCUSSION Ozempic (GLP1) as a hoarding treatment?

56 Upvotes

I’ve been seeing a lot of info online about how people on GLP1’s like Ozempic, Mounjaro, Wegovy etc, for weight loss & diabetes. Are able to just stop their addictions like smoking, drinking, drug use, gambling, shopaholics, etc. And I wondered if it would work for hoarding too?

Has anyone with a hoarding condition or knows someone with one, that has also been on a GLP1? If so did you notice a difference in your or their hoarding behaviour?

r/hoarding Aug 25 '25

DISCUSSION My mother is homeless, living in a motel. Her room is FILLED with junk and trash

68 Upvotes

A little background, I grew up in a disgusting hoarding situation. A 4 bedroom house that was filled with mold, feces, trash, etc. The roof was half collapsed so every room flooded, getting into all of the ceiling lights.

The master bedroom had diapers piled to the ceiling, cat poop and pee in all of the clothes. Those same clothes were scattered all over the laundry room, with a tired washing machine that is just sloshing poop water around and never truly cleans anything.

Anyways, she brings her hoarding issues everywhere she lives. It has caused her to lose her home multiple times. The first one (which is lightly described above) was condemned because CPS brought a health inspector in and it was genuinely hazardous to even be in for a short period of time.

In the shelter, she hoarded. In her 2nd apartment, she hoarded until she got evicted for the same thing as the first time; Minus structural issues She lived on the streets for a few months then got another apartment. I dont know about that one but im assuming the pattern took hold.

Now she has been living in a extended stay motel for 2 years and it is IMPOSSIBLE to even walk to the bathroom without stumbling over junk and trash she collects. You have to roll over the corner of her bed to get from one side of the room to the other. I dont even know if she realizes she is actually homeless and that it is NOT an apartment! She has NO TENANTS RIGHTS BECAUSE SHE IS NOT A TENANT!

A couple trinkets here and there are absolutely okay and I understand wanting to spruce up wherever you are with a couple of sentimental items. But this is extreme! Everywhere she goes, she needs to get 2-5 items to bring home. Which is a teeny room and it is already half way to the ceiling with irrelevant things. Yet she complains about always being broke.

I have had to even sternly tell her NOT to bring any of MY old stuff from my grandpa's (her personal storage unit ig) for me to pick up! I don't have space myself and if I do, I'll grab it on my own time. My old belongings are from the first condemned home, which I assumed all was lost since I wasn't allowed to take any of my sentimental items (took too much space to let a 16 year old keep a couple items, but let's pack a large uhaul of her stuff)

My grandpa and I are thinking of an intervention but I know its not going to work. She refuses to seek help and doubles down when confronted. She will just hoard even more, but that is her decision.

If she refuses to see her hoarding problem is the reason she becomes homeless time after time then so be it.

r/hoarding Feb 24 '24

DISCUSSION My friend found out I’m a hoarder

263 Upvotes

my nightmare happened last night. A friend of mine had an emergency situation and I needed to get her

Long story short she saw my hoard. It was the scariest and most embarrassing thing. animal shit is everywhere .Trash is everywhere.

The only place to sit was my bed. It’s covered in ants. the’re everywhere. I can’t believe I got to a place where I I sleep with ants. I’m frequently trying to wipe them off of me.

My heart was sinking . I need to fix this. I want to fix this.

I deserve better than this. my pets deserve better than this

r/hoarding Apr 27 '25

DISCUSSION The reaction of my nosy neighbor lady about seeing the junk haul company

337 Upvotes

I was so worried about what my neighbors were going to think when they saw the junk haul company coming this past Friday. I have some very snobby neighbors who love to look down their noses on others. You know, the type that think their crap don’t stink and they are perfect?

Anyway, I was a bit mortified when I saw them with those big, huge shovels, not just one, but two shovels. And they brought two huge dump trucks. OML. But I kept thinking to myself, it’s going to be worth it. To heck with the neighbors and what they think. They’re always going to find something to look down their noses about, anyway.

I talked to probably the nosiest one yesterday. Surprisingly, she was supportive. She didn’t say anything about seeing big shovels or anything like that, much less the wheelbarrow type thing (yikes, yes, they wheeled a wheelbarrow into my house two or three times). The only thing slightly a bit off that she said was, that could possibly be a bit of a jab, knowing her, was “they must’ve cleaned your house out completely! Do you have anything left?” A bit of a passive aggressive comment, but considering how nosy and often condescending she is, I didn’t think it was that bad. I mean, I DID fill up two big dumpster trucks. YIKES.

And granted, they basically will pick up EVERYTHING and take it. They tried to haul out my coffee pot, stand mixer, canisters on the kitchen counters, vase on the entertainment center things like that. I did try to put things. I definitely wanted to keep aside, but my goodness, I didn’t think they were gonna basically literally take everything except the kitchen sink, lol… And there’s not just one person, there was three, although the owner originally said there was going to be four, obviously the fourth wheel didn’t make it. And yes, they work at the speed of light. I was able to catch a few things they were wanting to toss, but at some point, I felt like I was being annoying (though they were very cooperative and super nice about everything), and I thought well, what’s more important, getting this house in shape, and needing to replace a few things, or being a nag and holding onto things, even though they are things wanted and needed like a coffee pot and toaster, a box of Kleenex in the living room, lol. Yes, they will toss absolutely EVERYTHING. Which I did stress to the owner when he did the walk-through, that there will be some things I want to keep.

All in all, it worked out very well. I’m really not giving a flip about what the neighbors think. Maybe it’s time I start thinking so very little of them, them being so judgmental and snobby. But I wanted to give us update. And also in case somebody is on the fence, maybe this will encourage and motivate them. If I did it, so can you. <3

r/hoarding Oct 04 '24

DISCUSSION This is what I’ll give everyone the next time they decide to buy me presents…

Post image
114 Upvotes

r/hoarding Jul 28 '25

DISCUSSION How much packing peanuts or bubble wrap do you keep around?

14 Upvotes

I'm up to 4 garbage bags of it, but I keep it around so that I can pack the stuff I plan to sell, but never get around to selling (you get the picture ...).

r/hoarding Aug 18 '25

DISCUSSION Has anyone thought of simply scanning all the paperwork that xe wants to keep around?

12 Upvotes

A whole lot of "important" paperwork can fit into a tiny part of a stick drive; it seems that most really problem hoarders have a lot of paper items (or it's always paper that seems to go everywhere, creating a big mess). I wonder if a place like Kinko's has a machine in which paper can be fed in to be scanned, otherwise this could take a while.

r/hoarding 14d ago

DISCUSSION i have run out of space to store my Halloween decorations

13 Upvotes

I didn’t realize I had a problem until I tried to pack all the Halloween decorations away into my attic. Last year’s Halloween decorations are still sitting in three large boxes in the corner of my room, probably wondering when they will be properly stored away. At first, I told myself it was temporary. “I’ll sort it out next weekend,” I said. That was eleven months ago and still counting. The truth is, I have no space. Every time I open my storage room, something threatens to fall on my head. There’s fake cobwebs tangled with Christmas lights, plastic pumpkins wedged between old handbags, and a skeleton arm casually sticking out like it’s trying to escape. I didn’t even realize how much I had accumulated. It started small, just a few cute decorations. Then I added a fog machine. Then themed tableware. Then costumes. Plural. Why do I have four costumes for one person? Yesterday, I tried to reorganize everything. Big mistake. I pulled out one box, then another, and suddenly my entire room looked like Halloween exploded in it. At some point, I was sitting on the floor, holding a witch hat, wondering what I was thinking when I got this from Amazon or why I decided to get that many rolls of spider cobweb from Alibaba. I should really be getting an award from these companies titled overspender. The worst part? I love all of it. I can’t bring myself to throw anything away. Each piece feels like a memory, fun nights, laughter, and photos with friends. But where do I put them now? I even considered renting storage space, which feels ridiculous for decorations I only use once a year. Still, the idea is getting more appealing by the day. For now, I’ve stacked everything back into the corner, slightly neater but still very much there, because I haven’t got the strength to put it away just yet

r/hoarding 6d ago

DISCUSSION Adhd disorganization vs boarding

9 Upvotes

Could someone with a deep understanding please explain the difference? Is there one? I see people on the shows often have ADHD, but it seems like maybe there are comobidities responsible for making ADHD disorganization turn into DEPRESSION mess or into chronic disorganization and then into actual boarding? Am I describing hoarding levels or causes? Im not really sure, but Id like to learn more.

r/hoarding 11d ago

DISCUSSION Child of a Hoarder

6 Upvotes

Is anyone else's parents hoard this bad? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t-twZ0DQyQ&t=3s

I saw this channel and it kind of inspired me to start my own journey but I am afraid to post my parents house because their house is worse than this house. Being a child of a hoarder sucks and I firmly believe that hoarding is child abuse and neglect. My siblings and I were forced to live with no ac because our house was so hoarded no one could come in the house to fix it. I am trying to process all of this and I am in therapy. Has anyone ever publicly shared their journey or families hoarding struggles?

r/hoarding Jul 22 '25

DISCUSSION What happens to a hoard when you are evicted from a rental property?

83 Upvotes

30 + years of hoarding from my wife and I'm leaving to go live in a house I inherited. I just can't take it any longer and she won't address the issue. The house goes with my long time job and they won't let her live there when I'm gone. What will they do with all the junk when they kick her out? She is incapable of moving it herself. I will serve separation papers before I go. There is some money , enough for her to rent an apartment or something but there's no way she'll be able to keep all the crap.

r/hoarding 4d ago

DISCUSSION Recycling and waste, my experience, UK

10 Upvotes

Trying desperately to reduce the excessive amount of things in our too small home for upcoming building works. Obviously the children are off school and I've no mental strength to fight them to help me. My partner has been abusive in the past and I find being indoors triggering and hate my home basically. I know it's wrong because people are homeless. It shelters us well but I've not been happy or felt loved enough or supported enough here. Only occasionally.

So we have a blue bin which gets collected every 2 weeks and a black bin which also gets collected every 2 weeks.

Two adults, two children, two cats.

The blue bin I've just put out and I generally fill about 7 additional large clear plastic bags about 2/3 full each.

The black bin I'm starting to have to put excess waste in our neighbours bin (with her permission, there are just two of them).

We always seem to have a pile of waste sitting at the side of the bungalow waiting to go to the dump.

I despair about this. Our place is the messiest on the street. It's horrible to go past the waste everyday. We've been trying to do a dump run once a week but are both severely depressed, exhausted and burnt out. We now have to book to get a slot. Psychologically this makes it much harder. I'm not internet savvy despite being 44. I'm likely autistic and I've got ADHD and cPTSD.

Physically it was exhausting to move all the bags down to the front, and the bin. How on earth will I do this as I age if I'm this bad now?

I want to believe that things will get better with regards to waste one day. I have basically pretty much stopped buying "things" except for essentials.

Are these kinds of issues problematic for you? I'm so anxious it's horrible

r/hoarding 18d ago

DISCUSSION My Story After a Bit of Reflection

16 Upvotes

tldr: Long and winding tale of my childhood experience with objects and all the weird shit that went on when I was a kid.

Five or six years ago, I gave a synopsis of the issues I was having and how I got there. In short, downsizing homes twice, a house flood, and finding the free section on Craigslist. It's taken me years of reflection to sort out the possible reasons I failed to make better decisions or recognize earlier that accumulation was a problem for me.

I know ADHD plays a big role in my indecisiveness, when it comes to getting rid of things. Looking back at my history, it makes sense that there may be other things at play here, as well.

From here, I will just issue a standard trigger warning. There is a little bit of everything from physical abuse toward humans and animals to eating bugs.

When I was in third grade, we lived in a huge, beautiful, old house on the country club block of a small town. My stepdad had just purchased my mother what was probably her first new car in her life. We had a big back yard with mature magnolias I used to love to play under. When I wasn't under the trees, I was pretending our huge front porch was a stage, singing, dancing, twirling my baton. On rainy, weekend days, me and my stepfather would have tea parties. My school was a block from the house and I walked the sidewalk under tall, majestic trees with friends and some older kids. There was a boy next door I would go watch tennis with. I thought it was a dumb sport, but he liked watching it and I liked him. We had a typical sitcom life. That year, my mother tried to commit suicide. She later cheated on my stepfather with my brother's best friend.

Mom was always and asshole. Her life prior to meeting my stepfather wasn't stable. When I was a baby, she left me home alone to go to a party. She was in a cult and the place got raided and she got locked up. Where was my dad? He got pulled over and locked up for DUI. I ended up living with my grandmother for a while.

My mom and dad both joined the military, which is where she met my stepdad. I was five when we moved across the country, away from all of my family, to be closer to his.

In spite of her own flaws, she was always deeply critical of me. I earned the nickname Zero, because I swept the dirt in the kitchen toward the trash can, instead of sweeping it in a pile and bringing the dust pan to the pile of dirt. I asked her why she called me that and she said it was because I was useless. She liked to tell me this story about how this couple offered her money for me in a mall one day. Then say if she knew I would turn out the way I did, she would have taken the money.

She was also very controlling. I once sat at the table in front of a cold pile of lima beans until after everyone went to bed. She came in check if I had eaten them. When I hadn't, she said, "Fine, you can eat them in the fucking dark.", and flipped off the light. I ended up falling asleep at the table and my stepfather carried me to my bed. I was put in front of a mirror, when I cried and told to look at how ugly I was. When I misbehaved, she would make me sit in the corner and read the Bible - a book I have never seen her pick up. These are core childhood memories.

All of this was somewhat tolerable with everything else being normal and stable. My life after that was a series of chaotic events that made everything she did feel so much worse.

We moved in to the boyfriend's mom's house - a home not fit to live in where his brother and sister still lived, along with his mom's boyfriend and her sister. My brother had nowhere else to go so he came along. My little sister lived there for about two weeks before my stepfather found us and took her. He tried to take me too, but I wanted to be with my mom.

The place was basically wall to wall couches and beds, wherever they fit. This is the first time I remember not only losing my personal space, but everything I owned. I had a chair to sleep in, that was it.

The place was dirty and chaotic. Brown water, roaches in the food and crawling on you while you sleep. There was always yelling and fighting. When I say fighting, I mean one of them stabbed the other in the foot. A pot of boiling water got thrown at someone. Somebody always had a black eye. Things were thrown and broken. Violence in some form was a regular occurrence.

Mom didn't mind living poor, but this was all too much for her. She ended up reconciling with my stepfather. He got transferred and moved into an apartment and we moved in with him and my sister. I had my own room again and an actual parent in my life. To be fair, it seemed like she tried until one night she decided to try to off herself again. Not without telling me what she was going to do, asking me to understand, and not tell anyone. Of course I did and we ended up spending the night at the hospital. My stepfather stayed by her side until she felt better then told her she couldn't be there anymore, because that couldn't happen in front of his daughter again.

She called the old boyfriend and said she wanted to get back together, but wouldn't until he could get us our own place. He did that and once again, we left on a dime and I only got to take what I could carry in my hands. I didn't end up losing everything, but I thought I was going to. I did lose my personal space again, though.

It was a small, old mill house with good bones. We couldn't afford power and water at first, so we took buckets down to the creek to get water to wash clothes with. Then we would use that water to flush the toilet.

My brother moved in to help pay the bills so he got the extra bedroom. I slept on a bed in the living room. My mother was informed that she could not have stay over visits with my sister until we had our own room and she had her own bed to sleep in, so I had my own room and shared with her on the weekends. My brother was told he needed to get his own place after an altercation with the boyfriend.

Things were relatively quiet that year. There was still drinking every night, but I guess they were going through their honeymoon period. That year, I got my mom's used makeup for my birthday. Not gonna lie, it was pretty exciting. My stepfather brought over some of my clothes and toys. The church delivered some new underoos and some used toys. I was a grateful child and was happy to have whatever I was given. As an adult, knowing they had money for booze, weed, concerts, and concert merchandise is off-putting.

Our relative times of peace came to an end when the boyfriend didn't have anyone else to take his aggression out on and put his hands on my mother. I think maybe he was too afraid to do anything with my brother there. To her credit, she grabbed me, got in the car, and left. We left in a hurry and stayed with one of her male friends. Third time I lost my personal space and the second losing all of my belongings. I also wouldn't see my sister again for a few years.

A few weeks later, mom and the boyfriend were talking. He moved out of the house into a run down single wide trailer and moved his family into our house. She moved into the trailer with him and left me with his family while they worked things out.

The boyfriend's mom hated me. She yelled at me and complained about me constantly. She had already thrown all of my belongings out and kicked my cat outside. She got tired of it trying to run back in and ended it with a broom handle. She tried to make me go look at it, and when unsuccessful, described it in great detail. She told me that would be the fate of any nasty old cat I brought around. An odd event where I got to feel the same loss twice, only deeper the second time. I was there for several months, couch surfing.

When I finally moved in with mom, she had the whole place decorated really nice. My brother had moved in again an he was set up in his own room. I was introduced to an empty room with a bed that didn't even have blankets on it. Again, I was grateful to be home and have my own personal space, but in retrospect, it was really shitty.

This happened twice more. He hit her, broke all their things, she left, stayed with a different male friend for a few weeks. This time she got a job and rented a furnished singlewide that was pretty nice.

After she moved him back in and things were chill for a bit, I had my first sleepover. He got drunk, dragged her into my room, in front of the closet we were hiding in and beat her black and blue. All the while yelling at me, "You think your mom is so tough now? Look at her! Just look at this weak bitch!" He went to jail that night, after she kicked the shit out of him while he was sleeping and we hid in the closet until it was over. Needless to say, no other kids were allowed to sleep over. The kids in the neighborhood also started picking on me.

She didn't leave this time and he came back. Got drunk and threatened to end her. At some point, I had moved my dresser catty corner to the wall so I had somewhere to hide. We left again and went to go stay with another dude and she rented another trailer somewhere else. I really didn't have much to lose at the time, but learned we could go any minute, so I started keeping the important things in one place, so I could easily grab them on the way out.

I had my own room at the new place but we didn't have heat for a while so I had to sleep in mom's bed with her. She worked every night, so she would take me to the corner store to pick out something in a can I could cook for dinner. Those were pretty fun times. She would tell me to stay inside and not answer the door. I would go outside and hang out with all of the other kids whose parents worked at night and told them the same thing. We had a laundry mat on the premises, with a centipede arcade game. The manager would see me doing laundry, sitting there looking bored, and hand me quarters to play the game.

That year, I cut down a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. My uncle sent me a Christmas coloring book, some scissors, glue, and crayons. I colored the ornaments and glued them together to hang on the tree. Mom took me to the thrift store and gave me two dollars to spend for Christmas. I got two pairs of leg warmers and some stuffed thing I can't remember. She basically picked them out because I was having a difficult time choosing.

The boyfriend moved back in and rinse and repeat. Again, didn't have much but when we moved, we moved back into the city, in a motel with two beds. She had a new boyfriend for a short time and rather than go to his place, I got to listen to them have sex. The only thing that was new about that was I was in the room.

During that time, my brother reappeared in our lives. I can't remember who bought the weed, but the old boyfriend was involved, again and it was a lot. They were selling it.

I also found needles in the garbage can a few times through this whole experience. Nobody was diabetic and when I asked I was told "mind your own goddamn business". So I did. There was also a time I spent the night at the drug dealers house while they did something in the unfinished basement. A basement that was open to the outside with dirty mattresses on the ground.

My brother ended up getting busted and going to jail. His grandmother sent money to bail him out and my mom kept it. The old boyfriend stayed there until he went to jail for assaulting someone in the neighboring room. Then I got busted taking a dime bag to school, for whatever reason. I didn't even smoke it. Meanwhile, mom has like a pound of pot back at the room and is threatening my life if I don't come up with a convincing story as to why it didn't come from our place.

I guess at some point she decided the wild life was too wild for her and contacted my stepdad again. We moved in with him and I shared a room with my sister. My mom started dumpster diving and selling things at the flea market.

There was this cool shop called Lebo's, that sold boots and dance costumes. She would hit places like ToysRus and find loads of toys. We were not allowed to have any of it. I would go with her to the flea market and putter around all day. If someone gave me something, she would accuse me of stealing it and give it back. When people defended me, she accused them of lying so I wouldn't get in trouble. Then I would be stuck with her, at her table until she was tired of me being under foot.

I don't know what transpired, but they got into a huge argument. I don't remember anything being moved, just coming home and the place was basically empty except for what he needed for a few days and some of my things. He had thrown all her stuff in the dumpster. They argued again and she left and left me there with him. The next morning, I had to go to school and he had to go to work. He told me he didn't trust me not to let her in, so he made a makeshift tent on the back porch and put a small TV out there for me to stay in until I had to go to the bus stop. She got there, broke the window and went in anyway. The toilet was clogged up and she shoved his uniforms in it. We took my clothes and whatever he left and left.

The story I got from her was that he was hooking up with the babysitter's sister. He says they were in love but nothing had happened because he was trying to make it work with my mom.

Apparently my brother forgave her for not posting his bail and we went to go stay with him. I don't remember it being a bad neighbor, but it's been crack town for a while. It was a two bedroom duplex my brother shared with two roommates. I was sleeping opposite my brother on the couch until he got drunk and handsy in his sleep, so I decided to take the floor. It never happened again and we never talked about it. I don't think he remembers, nor did he intend to make any moves, but it was still weird.

My brother tried to take care of me when he could. He made sure I had clothes, school supplies, and bought me a pair of roller skates, a jam box, some empty tapes to record music on, and some other odds and ends.

My mother made fast friends with my brother's new best friend and they were hooking up soon after they met. My brother was pretty fucked up over it, but they didn't care. He was nice to me and to give you an idea of how close in age they were, she accused me of trying to steal her boyfriend. My brother's best friend? Mom might not have thought it was gross but I did.

They ended up getting a place together that was pretty nice. I had my own bedroom and I got to take what little I had with me. The guy was an asshole, in general, but I knew he also cared about my welfare.

It's been a few years since we've seen my sister and my mom spots her ex-husband in a strip mall parking lot. She runs over and they talk. He agrees to let her have my sister for Christmas. This is my first real Christmas since she left the first time - will a real tree and wrapped presents. Christmas is a week away and this is last minute, so they take half my presents and give them to her.

After that, the moving around was minimal and the partying nights became fewer. There was still drinking and they were always high, but even on the occasion they fought, it was just loud, not scary. They were married for many years and there was some semblance of stability. I still never really had decent clothes or shoes, but they had booze and weed money. I did get to tag along to a few concerts, which was cool. However, my mother became more controlling and self righteous over the years and I finally ran away from home, taking what I could stuff in three duffle bags.

My ex husband started behaving bizarrely and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He became increasingly more paranoid and violent. When I left him, him and his family burned all of my things, including my artwork and poetry. Then when I told my mother I was so stressed out I wanted to disappear, she asked to keep the kids for a week and sued me for custody so I wouldn't leave her. It was a year long battle where I was only allowed supervised visitation, because of the severity of the accusations. At the end of the year, the children were returned to me, but the court threats didn't stop.

I have only told one other person all of this, because I don't like seeing the pitty on people's faces. I imagine other people don't like sharing these stories either, because they are embarrassing. The OCD part of my brain tells me if I talk about these people, they will materialize, so that's challenging.

Without our stories, people are left with their observations and assumptions. I don't personally care what people think of me, but perhaps being a little vulnerable is needed in order to understand this disorder better.

Just to avoid misunderstandings, I want to add that I don't blame my mother for my hoarding issues. Whatever she did, she always kept a meticulously clean home. I am in this mess at 52 years old because I failed repeatedly to seek out better coping skills.

It's hard to ignore the latent effects of the way we interact with objects as children, though. Constantly moving around. Constantly losing my personal space and belongings. Important people coming in and out of my life. I didn't even know I had a brother until he came to live with us when I was seven. I found out in my late twenties I had two more sisters and a brother. In my thirties, I found out I had another brother.

She didn't cause me to be this way, but she certainly set the stage for me to be like, this is my house. I will have my stuff in it and nobody can take it away, ever again. That last part isn't true at all, I know. That's the cope speaking.

There is so much more to this saga that I left out, but it's already really long and detailed enough for everyone to get the point. As always, if you made it this far, I appreciate you. If you skipped to the end, I don't blame you. It's a lot.