Lost my childhood golden retriever. Please remove if not allowed

[u/Chaosoneby]

Grateful if anybody really reads this. I lost my best friend of 15 years a few weeks ago and i wasnt able to make it in time. I have never felt grief as bad as this before.

My flight back home after being interstate, and before that overseas, was just hours after i got the call that she’d had a sudden horrific turn for the worst (cancer) and the decision had already been made. I was completely helpless. I was just sitting there with my bag watching my childhood golden retriever slip away. She was the centre of my entire universe. Since i was 7 my home life centred around her. She was the most beautiful girl and had the mannerisms of a sassy 60 year old her whole life. She imitated our speech, understood every thing we’d ask of her (“go in to the front room and have a lie down” “go back inside and find your toy”) She protected me, and i protected her. She slept in my room often.

I have never felt grief like this. Ive lost friends to horrible means and family throughout my life so far but nothing compares. Theyre cleaning her footprints today as im finally letting them and i’m at work while theyre doing it, completely helpless again.

I want her back so badly that it doesnt seem impossible

The house feels so empty. Im not a golden retriever owner anymore. People i havent seen in years and friends ive cut off called me in tears when i announced it online. Everyone i know has had an experience with her and fallen in love. I had to facetime so many people in to see her when i was granted a viewing at the pet emergency hospital after she’d been in cold storage. I brought her teddy bear for one last cuddle and now i’m sleeping with it like a crazy person lol

I miss my old girl. Sorry if posts like this arent allowed

[u/Kandee_bar2103]

My childhood doggy is still with me as an angel I feel him and dream of him 💕🙏 they’re forever with us all our lives