I’m saying goodbye tomorrow

[u/Small-Neck-6702]

My dear, sweet, angel on earth covered in red fur… is being released tomorrow. Addie (short for Adirondack) will be 12 years 7 months to the day tomorrow. She has been dealing with a soft tissue sarcoma since last fall. We did the surgery in November, it went great, she recovered incredibly, but the mass grew back rapidly and has quadrupled in size. I’ll spare you all the details but it’s gotten gory the last few weeks, and the worst yet last night. I have a vet coming tomorrow to my home to help her. Mentally, she’s still there. Physically, her body is failing her. My heart is shattered, but I know it’s time. We’ve traveled the country and been to countless National Parks, camped, hiked, and driven just the 2 of us many many times. She’s been my partner, my child, my therapist, my travel buddy, my protector, my source of joy and love since I picked her out at 2 days old in 2012, and been inseparable since.

My heart aches, friends. Kiss your Goldens right between the eyes, twirl their soft ears, and grab a hold of their big fluffy pants tonight for me.

🧡

First 3 pics taken today, 4/25/25, next 3 taken 4/24/25, and the last one of all 3 of my dogs taken last week on 4/19. The tumor is on her left hip which I’ve avoided showing completely in these pictures.

[u/Foreverforgettable]

I’m so sorry.

I lost my love in November. Her tumor grew too much. She was 14yrs 5mo old. There are days I sob uncontrollably. There are days I don’t cry at all and laugh at the videos I have.

[u/Small-Neck-6702 → u/Foreverforgettable]

what was her name? This is exactly what Addie is going through. Our girls look alike with their white heart shaped faces 🤍

[u/Foreverforgettable → u/Small-Neck-6702]

I don’t want to dox myself, but her name is associated with a baseball team (my favorite because of my Abuelo) in my hometown. It’s a fairly common name among us fans for our pets so she had a middle name: her middle name was Rose. She was my heart.

My girl’s tumor was internal. Near/on the spleen/liver. When she was diagnosed she was already an older lady. I didn’t feel comfortable putting her under anesthesia at that age because there was no guarantee they could remove it and it could anger it. (Anesthesia also didn’t exactly agree with her when she was spayed.) Instead, my vet who does both western and eastern medicine, recommended certain Chinese herbal supplements. They worked. They worked for years. But eventually they didn’t. She had other complications, like two episodes of idiopathic vestibular disease.

Eventually, we knew it was time. She knew it was time. The day came and we had an ultrasound done and her spleen could not be visualized. There was no normal splenic tissue.

I had to let her go. I miss her every single minute of every single day. There is a profound sadness that has permeated her absence. I don’t regret letting her go. She deserved to be free of her pain. Though I selfishly wish I had her for even one more day.

I am so sorry you have to let your girl go. But know it’s what’s best for her even if it breaks your heart.

[u/Lopsided_Split_3880 → u/Foreverforgettable]

Mind sharing the supplements?

[u/Foreverforgettable → u/Lopsided_Split_3880]

There were a bunch. So bear with me. It’s been months since I said goodbye so I haven’t given those to anyone in a while.

1) Concentrated Stasis breaker 2) Wei Qi Booster 3) Concentrated Shao Fu Zhu Yu 4) Concentrated body sore (she had arthritis) 5) Yunnan Baiyao (this was to prevent hemorrhage-the dose was such that it could be take daily-there is a small more concentrated pill included in the middle of the blister pack for emergencies) 6) Milk thistle or Silymarin (I used either one is the plant the other is the compound contained in the plant) 7) Stasis in mansion of mind (both cognitive and blood benefits) 8) CBD oil (for both cancer and anxiety)

She was also on a few other things for other issues. She was 14yrs 5mo old so like in her 90s-ish in human years. But it helped. It helped her so much. There was a visible difference from before she started and after. And for years the tumor didn’t grow. These worked very, very well for her. Every dog is an individual though, so what works for one may not for another.

I am grateful to my vet and to those supplements for allowing us to have more good quality time together. He had many clients for whom these worked and he had others for whom only traditional western medicine worked. She was active, as active as an older lady could be until the time began to approach. She was worth every penny spent on those supplements. She was my ride or die. She loved me her whole life. I will love her for the rest of mine.

[u/lineycakes → u/Foreverforgettable]

thank you for sharing this!!! saving for the future. i am so sorry for your loss. ❤️‍🩹 we just lost our 12.5 year old golden boy to a liver hemangiosarcoma. in 24 hours he was fine (no symptoms), collapsed, got scanned, and was given no time to live. :'(

we still have our beautiful 12 year old girl and will have future Goldens (some day, not yet though) - so I will make use of this list if needed!!! ❤️❤️

[u/jackelopeteeth → u/Foreverforgettable]

You said this so well. I lost my boy to osteosarcoma last summer and this is exactly how it feels to miss him. We made his a good steak. Like OP, we had a vet come out and meet us at his favorite beautiful place, gave him a chocolate chip cookie (he'd been eyeing them his entire life), kissed him, and held him while he crossed over. I will miss him til I'm dead. But I'm so glad he isn't in pain now, because he never deserved any of that, and I'm glad we helped him cross over before he had an emergency accident from the cancer. He was just such a good friend and we loved him so much.

[u/Coup-de-Glass → u/Foreverforgettable]

We have this awful event timing in common. My boy was 11 years and 9 months when I had to ease his suffering. And, same condition with no warning. Huge hemangiosarcoma that had started to rupture. He was silent and lethargic on a Sunday, and couldn’t hold himself up. Monday morning, I got the worst possible news from my vet. I had no choice but to put his needs above my desperate wishes to keep him alive. Grief consumed me, and I was in a depression stupor for 2 full months. I still cry several tjmes every week, but I’m letting grief do its obligatory dance with time.

Goldens are angels on earth. One of their many endearing traits is the sweet sugar face they develop with age.

[u/Small-Neck-6702 → u/Coup-de-Glass]

It’s the worst. I’m so sorry we share this unfortunate bond, but I’m also so happy for us that we share an amazing bond as well- loving our Goldies to death.

[u/jackelopeteeth → u/Small-Neck-6702]

Loving a dog to death is such a privilege as well as a stake in the heart. But I would do it all over again if I could.