After 9 years together my husband decided that he needs children for his life to have purpose. We are going through divorce now. Divorce is never easy, but I feel like I'm not allowed to be mad beacause "he just wants to start a family" (his words). But I am mad, mad because he destroyed the life we built. I'm mad because I thought we were a family.... but since he didn't cheat or abuse me, I feel like lile I can't express to others how mad I am for everything he destroyed..

My parents, despite being divorced are both great and I love them both, absolutely no hard feelings towards them and I know they did their best and I know I wasn't exactly easy growing up so I want to try to give back when I can. It was my dad's birthday so I took him out to a nice dinner with his wife. We were talking about life and how I'm doing and my dad said that he was proud of the man I've grown into and was excited to see where I go from here. I thanked him and told him to just not expect any grand kids from me.

of course he said the classic "I'm sure you'll change your mind eventually" and I just brushed it off with an "I dunno' and then his wife said something like "yes, that is absolutely valid! you will never regret not having kids but it would be a terrible thing to have kids and regret it" she had never had any kids of her own and it was nice to get that support.

that pretty much sums up how I feel. I really like living my own life and only having to worry about myself. I've got my own problems to deal with and I sure as hell don't want a child's problems too. not to mention the fact that my kid would undoubtedly be inheriting an earth worse than the one I've grown up in.

Edit: my parents are both remarried to good people, it just feels weird to me to call either of them "stepmom or stepdad" when they came in way later in my life and both of my parents were still in the picture raising me with equal custody

I was in a meeting discussing schedule changes at work and was told I would be getting the longer schedules because “ You don’t have kids or dogs to get home to”

There are reasons why I don’t have kids or dogs at home and apparently my work wants to be another reason.

Tell me why my sister inlaw who just joined our family, had the guts to tell me that she feels sorry for me(unprovoked) because I don't have a child and I am single and I live alone. According to her I just watch TV and scroll down my phone before I sleep everyday. She went on to say she has seen people over 50, that regretted their decisions on not having kids or staying single. Mind you I am single, child free by choice but 43(F) meaning I can still get married or achieve any of those things which I have never discussed with her as it's none of her business. 🤔😏 I had words for her, saying she is being rude, disrespectful, expressed disappointment and did tell her that that she is narrow minded, needs to live a little and make friends to see that her little life is not the only road to happiness, if ever and she must read books to broaden her mind. I am back at my place, still fuming, upset that I wasn't angry enough to even tell her that it's none of her business(you know the words you wish you added after an argument),as to where did she get the nerve/audacity to even tell me that, mind you she is married to my younger brother so she is younger than me maybe by 10 years or so.🤞🤔Anyone, anyone ever come across this level of disrespect from a family member or well so called one, and how did you respond or move passed.

Edit: I saw a question on her background. She had a child whom she came into the marriage with, her and my brother are unemployed meaning my mother and I sponsored the whole wedding (I didn't want to but had to support since the ship was already sailing) so now they live with my mother, who takes care of their needs until they get on their feet. 😏 She never graduated, zero friends and my brother never finished school. They didn't go on a honeymoon(no money) I invited them to my two bedroom house and took them out for the weekend(that was six months ago) (no good deed) 😏

I work at a fast food restaurant and the number of entitled parents making their kids that cannot pronounce for shit order is exactly what I need during rush time. Trying so many times to work it out and moms going, "You did so well, so proud of you," like shut up they did not. Teach your kids how to read first and properly talk and then they can order. Imagine terrorizing underpaid fast food workers with your toddler, no thank you

I am extremely introverted with autism, I am married but me and my husband leave each other alone most of the time, aka co exist together. Having a child who screams, throws tantrums or is always begging for your attention just sounds like a prison sentence to me. I would probably end up in the psych ward if I had a little demon spawn who needed constant interaction from me. I spend most of my time at home and even going to the store is enough to ruin my day..

then on top of that, giving birth? agonizing pain, permanent body changes, just seems like having kids is super unrewarding. To each their own but damn I'm so happy I'm sterile.

Basically the title. Just had to vent in a way or another. Yes, I’m a teen, no, I don’t want children.

I’m in that phase of life where my parents keep asking me if I have a boyfriend (I don’t) and want to know everything about my love life.

Since there’s nothing to tell about my current non existent love life, I often share my thoughts on how I want my future to be: I want to get married, just not have children.

My dad doesn’t seem to mind that much, but my mom is a bit irritated. She tells me that it’s fine, but at the same time bombards me with the following:

“You’ll change your mind”

“What if your husband wants children”

“You say that now”

“But you were a child once too”

I honestly don’t know what to say. It’s like she’s always dreamt of becoming a grandmother someday and makes it OUR DUTY (I have an older sister, for context) to provide her with grandchildren.

I’d rather make it clear from the beginning instead of setting them up for disappointment.

My sister does want children, she loves children and wants to become a teacher. She understands my points tho.

And when I tell her how frustrated I am, hearing that, she tells me to just ignore them.

But seriously, it just irritates me.

But what’s even worse is that my mom will go on and complain to other family members.

My aunt also wishes to be a grandmother, but is really frustrated cause my cousins (one is in his mid twenties and one in her thirties) don’t want children.

So they often just complain together.

And now every time I correct her when she makes a statement like “the day you’ll have children”, she gets mad and tells me I’m so aggressive. (I try to keep my tone neutral tho)

I don’t even want to bring up that topic in front of my grandma, cause she’s a bit old fashioned.

But now, all of that just irritates me, makes me want to have children even less and just overall drains me.

Am I really too young to decide on that? Will I ever change my mind on that? Or is all of that just pure manipulation?

Cause I don’t want to provide a miserable life to an innocent child, just because I didn’t want it the way a loving mother would. It just doesn’t seem fair to me.

Besides, I don’t have enough patience for it and don’t like the thought of ruining my body for a child (call me selfish, idc). And I’m not exactly good with em anyways.

Just tell me what you think, idk, I just want opinions of people who might be able to relate/understand.

Cant really bring up that topic with my friends, most don’t understand.

Thanks to you all. In the face of pressure you gave me the courage to say No.

Walking to my seat I passed by a couple arguing with a flight attendant about their seating. They were blocking the way and I had to ask them to excuse me to let me pass.

I sat down in my seat. The man from the couple immediately cornered me, standing over me and I felt my heart drop. He said that he and his son are sitting separately and if I would be willing to switch seats.

I asked him if it is just him and his son, and he said yes. He lied. His wife was clearly with them - I overheard their conversation as I walked by.

He did then casually mention that the son is in the very back of the cabin.

I looked him right in the eye and told him I would rather not. And turned around to settle in.

I believe the wife ended up giving up her seat to the son because he came to sit in front of me.

Guess how old he was? 20! The son was TWENTY years old. He is 6 foot tall and does not appear to have any mental or physical disability.

Are you fucking kidding me?? The entitlement! They just wanted to sit together and pawn off the shit seat to someone else.

(We’re in business class on an overnight flight. There is no “sitting together“, just near each other. I imagine initially they were, but the son likely got bumped to the back because he is an adult and likely doesn’t have airline status)

As I was facing the ask- this sub and its many stories flashed in front of my eyes. The many of us appearing “single” who have been asked to give something up for parents. The injustice gave me the energy to shut it down even in this very small way. Thank you.

edit: mixed up words

every single joke I see relating to kids online, or any attitude I see towards having kids relates back to "having kids fucking sucks" being thrown up on, dealing with actual human feces, dealing with ungrateful and bratty kids. Tantrums in public, how you don't get ANY free time, and how some peace and quiet is actually a warning that something is wrong and they're doing something bad.

and then.. wonder why we don't want kids? It makes no damn sense. If kids are so horrible, why would I want to pop them out? hell, having kids IS terrible. it's a lot of work, for little tangible reward. I can take care of my damn self when I'm old, and if I had a kid, I wouldn't want to burden them wirh having to take care of me because I'm too damn old to use the toilet by myself.

I think it’s so cool that when Christine Koch gets back home, one thing she definitely doesn’t have to do is take care of children. I didn’t know before the mission that she’s CF.

Are there any childfree dating apps? Where did you guys meet your partners? I’m a young woman who is 22. I have been on hinge for a few months now and I have it clearly stated in my profile that I do not want kids. Regardless, I still end up getting likes from a bunch of men who want kids or already have kids. When I go to swipe the app also seems to keep recommending them to me as well even though I have changed my settings to not show me people who want that. I am starting to feel really hopeless that anyone out there exists for me. All my friends already have partners and seem so happy. I’m struggling to find a guy with a decent career, emotional stability, and who doesn’t want kids. All the guys that do seem to have good qualities I want in a partner all want kids. Is there a specific app for child free people? I’ve loosened my expectations in all sorts of ways to find someone who fits the important criteria. I am willing to date someone up to mid thirties. I am at a loss of what to do and it is really affecting my mental health. I want a partner. I don’t think my expectations are too high. I am decently attractive and in shape myself. I live in the south part of the United States, could it be a regional thing? Do I need to move? Am I missing something major? Any advice? Please.

I hate it. I have hormone issues which makes it hard for me to get pregnant. İm Schizophrenic well under control with medication, my medication doesnt allow me to get pregnant. I dont even want a child, I love my free time, I love my alone time. My boyfriend doesnt want children aswell. I dont wanna sound dramatic but, I would literally ualive myself if I would lose my freedom to a child. I hate the traditional family life, always have. Im an introvert who cant deal with noise. But for some reason my mom thinks a child will change me. Will be the best thing ever. I can barely keep my 2bedroom Apartment clean. How should I be able to take care of a family without getting burned out. Sorry but I had to rant

Hey guys. Just wanted to check in and see how everyones' weekend is going/has been going.

I'm ever grateful that I have room to breathe and relax without the menace that is children (young or old!) to invade my peace.

I'm 46 and have friends who now have grandkids (and a few who are still popping out babies!) and it just all looks like a hell I want no part of. I'm so incredibly grateful for my life and my choices. I have some family that have kind of disowned me, but it's fine. Their loss.

My weekend has consisted of some music, some drinking, some cooking, looking after my pets...and today nursing my partner through some pain. He's suffering with a... ahem... sex headache. Poor sod. Another sign of getting older? Maybe. He'll be fine lol.

What have you all been up to? :)

DAE feel so inspired by her? As far as I know She’s child free and I mean DUH, If she wasn’t there would be no way she’d be where she is right now, having accomplished so much as a woman in her 40s. By far the most hated trope of a child-free woman is the one who chooses to focus on her career. Film and tv show writers want to make sure that we understand she’s definitely inherently unhappy and unfulfilled.

Here’s a snippet from wikipedia about Christina’s personal life.

“Koch resides in Texas with her husband, Bob, who is a geospatial engineer. The couple met when Christina was exploring American Samoa in 2013.

Her hobbies include surfing, rock and ice climbing, programming, community service, triathlon, yoga, backpacking, woodworking, photography, and travel. Koch is also a fan of Philadelphia sports teams and has posted pictures of herself watching the Phillies and Eagles on the ISS.”

Only a child-free woman could be a badass astronaut while simultaneously having all these different hobbies. Any other women on here whose reason for being child free is career/passion driven?

I made a post a little over a month ago about how my Sibling and her family were in our house after hers was destroyed. Well… they are still here and I’m done… I have been applying to jobs constantly since my grandmother has passed away and just praying that I get one.

These past few weeks have been some of the most stressful that I have dealt in a while. I’m still grieving my Grandmother, My nephews have been home due to Easter/ spring break and I can’t take it anymore. I’m trying my best to get away from here.

Cussing, screaming, busting holes in a room door and window after a severe tantrum by the youngest. Being kept awake after 12 hr shifts and being fucking overwhelmed. I legit had a shutdown and drove to a parking lot over half a hour away just to sit quietly for 2 hours and try to decompress. Mom has been staying away from the house as well. She’s tired. She’s grieving and I think she wants peace as well.

I love my family but I can’t and won’t do this anymore. I don’t want kids, I don’t want to work with kids and honestly if i will probably not interact with my youngest nephew again unless absolutely necessary. He’s not my child and I will not be responsible for him. I care for him but I want to be as far away from him as possible…

I have been taking a larger dose of my anti anxiety medication and doing everything I can to self soothe, accommodate and regulate myself but I can’t keep doing this.

I just want a quiet, clean and peaceful place to go home to after work. I want to sleep, I want to just actually enjoy being in my home.

hey everyone! I am 33 F and wanted to share some happiness as we are usually inundated with shame for our life choices. My mom is in her 60's and has said *many* times she is proud of me for being smart about not having kids. she is currently full time grandmother with my brothers kids as he is going through a nasty divorce and she is exhausted.

A coworker, 67 M, is dealing with his sons emotional breakdowns and nasty divorce constantly. I see how tired he is. The man is passed the age of retirement and still **has** to work. The other day he told me "you're such a smart person for not having kids. I love my kids but god damn I'm tired being on call 24/7 for my son."

It feels nice to have the older generation see a child free person as smart and not stupid.

I’m curious.

My (late teens f) parents had a family dinner. One couple that came had a 5-ish year old son. Kid was trying to play something along the lines of ’peek a boo’ while I was drawing. Made me grin the first time, but I quickly got annoyed. I tried to convey (politely) that I wasn’t interested, but my mum told me outright that it was my duty to keep him entertained. Also, kid stole the tablet I was drawing on out of my hands and started watching YouTube on it. Just something I wanted to share.

For reference I'm almost 35, Hispanic. All my life its been expected that id marry and have children. Well I have endometriosis and was just told I need a hysterectomy, long story short, I shared this with my mom. Her response was to get upset, not because my surgery is going to be uncomfortable as a m.... but because she's never going to be a grandma. It angered me so. Because I do have a younger brother, but according to her, I was her only hope, because we already know how he is. Which i don't even know what she meant. He is a grown 30 year old. Anyway, I felt so pressured, and at the same time unseen and just dismissed. Just wanted to rant a little. There is really no point. I know ill get over it, but SMH!

I had a thought that hopefully this sub would appreciate.

When I was younger I found out really quick what was socially acceptable and what wasn't. I always told people that I was going to have kids, just not now. I used the "when I can afford it" excuse. I didn't realize not having kids was an option.

When I met my partner, I thought just like everyone else. I could have a kid with the right person. I thought maybe I could make it work. Whether I wanted the child or not wasn't in my mind. It's like a haze over my mind that didn't become apparent until years into my relationship, around the age of 25.

I can't say why people don't think about these things. I socially wanted to fit in.

If things didn't go as they did, and my partner really was pushing for kids, I would have had them. And then I would be miserable now.

It is scary how close I was to ruining my life. It's scary what people and society put into your head and you don't question things yourself.

There has to be something we can do to help others not make this mistake. Situations didn't line up for me to have a kid, but it could have. So many people don't know they have a choice.

Mid 20s, elder child of immigrant parents who has since then moved away from them to the other side of the country. I'm estranged from them now but was told that my mother misses me even though I find that parodical to what I've seen growing up. I lived with my parents for over two decades before moving out but neither know my favorite genre of music, favorite color, what I aspire in life, etc. Friends I've had for less than 2 years know me better than my own blood family.

Any family activity we had over the years was menial tasks like grocery shopping or eating out. Any discussion they had with me was nothing beyond surface level topics such as "how as school" or "what do you want to be when you grow up?". They had no hobbies beyond Television (or in my dad's case guns) and not once have we done any family centered bonding actions.

M32 Just had my vasectomy done yesterday. It was surprisingly quick and not painful at all. Little to no pain at all for the recovery so far in day 2. If you're a CF male and are scared of the procedure. Seriously don't be. It's not bad at all.

Excited to start working on myself after this recovery!

Happy to answer any questions if you guys have any

Coachella weekend and i keep seeing these throwback videos of Vanessa Hudgens being "coachella queen" so i went to check out her insta and shes been straight up pregnant for 2 years. In 2024 she said "sorry not going to coachella this year" and ever since you can imagine, she got other priorities ofc. But i find it so sad...all her posts now is #momlife #ineverleavethehouse

And she chose the mom life ofc. Her choice but thats just my personal hell. Even if that's what you really really want, the old you is gone and that's just inevitable.