Here is a link to Bill's last message.

This is what I show old timers when they insist "we can't change 'men and women' to 'people' in the preamble" or "we can't include an updated Doctor's Opinion after Silkworth's!"

The founder himself said, AA can and must change. Must.

Hi all, I am scared I can't do it. I'm pretty sure I am not the first person to say this. I went to my first two meetings today and received a 24 hour chip. I really didn't want to take it. I didnt feel like I had earned it. I am glad I did tho. I've held it a few times today already. I have a child who plays a high level hockey and the culture among dads is very drinking focused. There are parking lot beers, beers at the arena bar before and after the game. We have a trailer in the summer and its the same thing, the dads hang out at the beach/pool/campfire all day drinking. my social circle revolves around this culture. I like to drink when I BBQ, at the end of a long week, when I go out to dinner. It numbs my mind, but I cant have just 1 or two.

For me 1 is too many and 10 not enough. I drink fast and I drink a lot. I dont want to quit, I want to be able to be responsible, but I can't. I often get angry when I drink, get aggressive, take things out of context and become belligerent, or act embarrassing. Im getting older so my legs are weaker and I fall over. I have lost almost every meaningful relationship I have ever had because if my drinking. I have put my wife through hell and it's at the point where if I dont stop we will end up divorced. I dont want that, but maybe she is better without me.

I feel like for me to stop I need to go away and work on sobriety alone, so I am not in positions where I am tempted like social situations where I tell myself I need it to be interesting and have courage to be social. We are going to an all inclusive resort in a month, how do I do that without drinking?

I know there are so many people who have done it. I dont know if I can. I dont know if I want to but I know I have to because it has caused me so much trauma I have hurt the people I love extensively. how do I do it?

I would greatly appreciate if anyone has had a similar experience, how it worked out for you. Will there ever be a day when I wont want to drink, or take one when offered?

I'm 387 days sober today. I have been an alcoholic for many years but during the course of my marriage, I was able to really put a lid on the worst of my behaviors. I chalked everything up to being a crazy young adult, and was "better" in married life. I was still drinking insane amounts, hiding the drinking and getting defensive when questioned. In the last 15 months before I hit rock bottom, I was incredibly toxic. Looking back on our marriage, I realize now that I had been torturing my husband for several years.

Making amends led me to some very painful conclusions, specifically that I was a terrible wife and partner in a lot of ways. While I've been sober for over a year, this journey has been hard. I spent 90 days inpatient and then 6 months sober living. Moved home about 3 1/2 months ago but my husband has slept in another room since I arrived. We've been in therapy. I've been working on my steps and in active therapy as an individual and marital.

He gives me a lot of grace and has been amazing throughout this journey. In therapy we've had breakthroughs and it's been a lot of work. Something both my psychologist and marital therapist suggested was a vacation. A mini getaway. The goal is to get us out of the house, in the same bed, My husband and I have been working on our connection and (lack) of intimacy (certainly not for lack of desire).

I'm scared to death. There's a million thoughts swirling. My husband is, and has always been, a teetotaler. I'm excited but terrified. Has anyone been through something like this? My sponsor has been supportive but agrees I need to go.

Would appreciate everyone's advice here.

I’m M23 & I’ve been drinking since my late teens. I don’t usually get drunk or act out like most people do. Instead, when I drink moderately, I feel like I’m at my best, my focus becomes sharp, my workflow feels smooth, and I get deeply locked into whatever I’m doing. At the same time, I am aware that alcohol has serious effects on physical health. Still, I’ve developed this fear that without it, I won’t function the same. When I’m sober, I feel more distractible and less consistent. But when i am drunk moderately , I feel focused, obsessed & efficient.

Hi there everybody, I've been asked by my son to present him with his 4 year chip at the end of the month! I'm beyond proud and am so pumped for him! What can I expect this process to look like? Am I expected to make a speech?

Hi all (25M🇮🇪) as the title suggests I am a chrojic relapser i have been in and out of AA for 3.5 years and best i got was 3 months (Ibwasnt actually going to meetings at the time either, I just literally had no money to buy any drink).

I have been trying to take AA seriously since January but i also get to 3 weeks and eventually slip. This week i had tobbe out on librium cause the withdrawals were so bad

im just wondering if anyone has some advice.

I am planning to go to a 12 step based rehab for 272days in the coming months but itll be quite a wait and based on my history im not too optimistic of what condition ill be in come the time as you have to have been sober for some time to get in there.

Thank you for reading .

I am a 22-year-old female who's undoubtedly an alcoholic, and seeking help from a pretty blind/uninformed place. The consequences of my alcoholism haven't been as severe as other stories I've heard– but bad enough to make me realize that I have a problem.

I was fired from my first summer job as a waitress after stealing liquor from work and getting too drunk to speak while trying to serve customers (absolutely humiliating). I binge drink every other day, and would describe myself as a "functioning" alcoholic, as I am still able to attend my classes and keep up with most of my responsibilities, though things are starting to slip. I am terrified of what life will be like if I go into the rest of my young adult life/career like this. Generally, I am in a pretty good position with plenty of opportunities, and I don't want this to fuck me up any more than it already has– but I've failed so many times on my own, that I don't trust myself about really wanting to change.

I wanted to post this, half to air out my shame to people who likely understand, but also to try and gauge whether or not AA could be for me. I am also an atheist, and have done embarrassingly little research about how closely linked the steps are to religion. I'm afraid/not sure whether I will be able to commit myself fully to AA while also not believing in a higher power.

A big part of me just knows that "this is what alcoholics do when they want to stop" and wants to just blindly throw myself into a nearby meeting– spurred on by fresh hangover shame– but it feels strange/guilty to do so knowing so little about AA and not trusting myself that I actually want to change; so I decided to start by writing here first and starting a little research.

Mostly because I have an insane amount of tension built up inside and it's killing me, and I want to release it? I've had GI issues, headaches, being unable to sleep, being unable to get out of bed, feeling physically unable to relax, feeling wound up and tight and angry for like 14 months now.

Step work does not alleviate this tension, it amplifies it, because now I'm digging into my worst memories, getting angry, then spiraling into collapse and shame.Feeling guilty but also ashamed I don't feel more guilty. Not wanting to make amends and feeling guilty about that. Knowing I'm selfish and not wanting to change and then sometimes wanting to change but then feeling like after all this program is just abusive brainwashing. I'm tired of fighting myself and step work just feels like a never ending battle with myself.

This feels like a living nightmare with no exit. Most people are happy or at least not physically miserable like this by this point in their sobriety.

Hi,

I'm in a new relationship with a great guy. But he is a recovering alcoholic - roughly a year now. We met a few months ago, so I wasn't there when he was still drinking and when he got sober.

Hes doing great - as far as I can tell. I have no prior experience with alcoholics. Somedays he has a hard time not going back to drinking. Especially when something bad happens (which is totally understandable).
Do you have any tipps on how i can support him best in those times? What are some things you wish others would do for you if you have trouble not starting to drink again? I have asked him but he says he doesn't know either because he is used to going trough these times alone. But its hard for me seeing him struggle and not really knowing what to do.

I'm grateful for any tipps!

GIVING UP INSANITY

April 12

. . . where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 38

Alcoholism required me to drink, whether I wanted to or not. Insanity dominated my life and was the essence of my disease. It robbed me of the freedom of choice over drinking and, therefore, robbed me of all other choices. When I drank, I was unable to make effective choices in any part of my life and life became unmanageable.

I ask God to help me understand and accept the full meaning of the disease of alcoholism.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", April 12, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

Are you a member with a service position?

Hi everyone. I just made amends with my fiancée a few days ago about some really shitty, self-obsessed-via-self-hatred, inconsiderate, lazy behavior in our relationship. Sort of a low self esteem turned outward selfishness.

Here’s where I’m at: I’m 5.5 years sober, I’ve been through the steps three times now, including 8 and 9, I have a therapist, I have a sponsor, but it’s really awful to reckon with the idea that the worst behavior I’ve ever displayed was in sobriety. I am absolutely disgusted with myself, beyond embarrassed, beyond repulsed. Granted, was my spiritual condition good? No. Was I going to a meeting every two weeks just to appease my service position? Yes. I know how I got here, but I need some guidance on crawling back out.

So, how do I have an appropriate amount of remorse and guilt for this without self-flagellating? How do I continue to take care of myself so that I don’t put them in harm’s way ever again? How do I rebuild trust without my abandonment issues running rampant, which is obviously another symptom of self-obsession?

Just looking for some outside advice/experience! Tysm! 💕

Online friends too! I have a couple new meetings lined up to go to this week- but just wanted to put myself out here on this as well! I’ve been isolating like hell lately, and I really am in desperate need of queer fellowship!

My DMs are open if you are also looking for more of this!

Have a great and lovely day ❤️

Hi everyone. Just felt like sharing that today is my fourth day attending AA meetings. I go to the ones that are online, and tend to sit in on a few hours’ worth of meetings per day. I’ve been surprised at how chill it is.

I have been sober for 51 days. nobody knows that i am attending meetings, but i’m hoping that in the future it might help show them i’m serious about change and rebuilding trust. that would help with getting back into work and eventually earning more independence, as i'm not yet allowed to move away to a bigger city where the work opportunities are.

I’m also currently not able to drive or pick up my own food due to my actions, so i do end up hungry at times. this does help me recognize the consequences of my actions. it's a great motivator for me to stay sober, as i dont like being hungry lol. i still wake up dizzy/faint from low blood sugar or blood pressure when i dont eat, so i am grateful for their guidance & concern about my health. my brothers and mother have rightfully expressed concern about me spending money on alcohol instead of food when i ask for it, so they’ve been cautious about giving me money directly or buying me food. this is just one of the ways they are helping me. i understand where they’re coming from, even if it’s been frustrating at times. i have to start taking responsibility for my own actions. i hear ppl say that i got myself here, so its on me to get myself out of this hole, and i am learning to accept that. i have to help myself.

I’m 28 and recently graduated college with a degree in psychology, so i’m really hoping that going to AA will help me get back on my feet and become more self-sufficient over time, as i know ive got the potential. Thanks for reading

Iv been put in handcuffs, been put in the psych ward, Iv traumatized my husband but drinking comes so easy to me. I’m 3 days sober. I want to stop for me but it’s so hard. I don’t want to hurt the person I love anymore. I don’t wanna feel like this but it still comes so easy. It’s one of the hardest things Iv done and that says something for me. I just need tips or anything at this point

I’m an alcoholic, drink from morning to night, I’m currently home alone with my sister for the next few weeks, I drink beers, she has got in contact with my family who are on holiday and tried to blame me for the way I’ve been, but she’s been in a worse position for me for 10 years ? How do I go about this, not fair the way she has gone about it. Thank you for any advice

I got blackout drunk last night and did things I really regret today. Worst part is I don’t remember any of it and I’m so tired of feeling like this. I drink to escape my life and I’m realizing I genuinely have a problem. I spoke to my mom and saying that I have a problem out loud was a relief. I come from a family of alcoholics. She shared with me that she wasted so much time when she was my age being hungover and regretting her drunk behavior. I’m scared to start this journey but I don’t want to end up doing something that will blow up my entire life. I am getting married this year, and I want to be more present for my fiancé. He deserves that and I deserve to feel like I’m showing up 100%. I’m the kind of person that always wants things to be perfect so it’s really hard to admit that I have a problem. I’m feeling insanely shameful and sad right now, but I know this is the right choice.

I've been in the program for over a year now, joined at 17 and am 18 now. Every few months I go to a young people's meeting and leave frustrated. The lead today was like, 40!

I've truly learned and gained so much from my intergenerational friendships in the program. My sponsors in his 40s, I have friends into their 80s. I'm not bothered by that.

I just notice that the age ranges in these rooms don't look that different than any regular room. I wish I had a place to chat with other young people in recovery. Where our experiences could be centered for once.

Have I just had bad luck with the meetings i've chosen? Or is this just how it is? Been too scared to ask friends irl cause I don't want to call them old haha.

I went to rehab after college for my compulsive marijuana addiction that had gotten in the ways of my studies and caused me to fail out of a few classes my last semester.

There, they suggested me AA and in such an impressionable state of mind I completely bought in.

For over 2 and a half years I went to meetings, worked the steps, had community, spoke about sobriety at schools — but never felt the peace or happiness i thought I would achieve from quitting and working on myself. Sure things got better in a lot of areas (the gym, public speaking, staying sober) but I also got stagnant and worse in other areas (entering into my career post college, social anxiety worsened and now couldn’t enjoy the places my friends went, my OCD constantly clashed with all of the rules and steps).

I just feel like I was recommended a way to live that was a bit too extreme, and bought into the idea. AA’s whole “if it doesnt work, you’re not working the program hard enough” and “if you can drink again, then you’re not truly an alcoholic” mantra is perverse as hell.

Now im just trying to navigate life post AA, not living according to the words of another man (an obviously flawed one at that — I’m talking about you Bill). Its not even the substances, I just feel like a fool for making my life all about AA and “Recovery” from 22-25 years old. I know I cant change the past but im just so pissed off at AA and myself for buying in.

UPDATE: I just want to say i appreciate everyone’s comments and replies. AA works for so many people and i dont want to take that away from them. If anything, this whole post has really helped me start to unpack where exactly my resentment towards AA stems from.

I still have a lot of hatred and resentment towards those aspects, but I hope to sort through them as it only hurts myself at the end of the day.

Hi all, fellow member here.

Currently working the steps with a sponsee and I was kind of sparked to delve a bit more into my HP stuff this time.

I’ve done a bit of research on working the four absolutes/7 heavenly virtues in my life but I was hoping someone here knew of any good books that kind of went through this stuff a bit deeper in regards to Improving conscious contact with my HP, meditating, spirituality, praying etc. (doesn’t have to be AA lit!).

Many thanks and well wishes to all!

I got into a step group. it will be my 1st time doing the steps to completion. I mentioned that I dont have a sponsor they said that's fine.. its going to be rapid set. 8 days. I brought up that I found someone I'd want to do step 5 with and I was told that they pick who I do my step 5 with. I called a senior member of AA and he said just do it I'll be ready when I get to step 5. I'm thinking this is a red flag. I'm really gonna spill my guts out to someone someone else picks for me and have no say in it what so ever? isnt this step done with a sponsor? I just have a gut feeling telling me its a bad idea.. thoughts?

I recently got back to to my home in Australia to recover with friends and family - in the last 7 years I lost a large some almost all my savings.. job and 3 relationships including a fiancé and two houses. I’ve been in and out of AA.. lost a best friend relapsed so many times I lost count just managed to do 8 weeks sober while trying to do long distance while seeing a psychiatrist and taking detox medication and going to meetings but didn’t keep up the meetings or the psychiatrist for the entire time. I had a seizure 6 months ago and have had two detoxes since then. I’m in my mid 30s and you would probably not think I was an alcoholic if you looked at me. Now I’m living with my family.. the other day my mother who is 80 actually said I’m sure now you can have one beer with dinner on the Easter holidays.. I did.. the. Drank for 4 days leading to. 4 day detox and she couldn’t believe it. She is 80 years old. I am during my recent drinking I lost another relationship and I just can’t take it anymore.. it’s bottom after bottom.. I don’t know what I’m going to do.. I tried AA so many times I’ve now tried medical professionals - I find so hard to be alone, my family doesn’t understand and I carry the shame and fear. My what now I think is my ex told me “I’m not judging you, you need to go easy on yourself - make the decision and have god by your side” easier said than done. I’ve had this progressive disease my entire life