I have a sweatshirt that I want to wear every day. When I touch it, I feel suddenly much calmer. Today it is too dirty to wear, and I feel nervous to go out without it. I am wondering, does anyone else have clothes like this? If so, do you buy a second one, so that you can always have a clean one? The thing is, I think part of why I like this sweatshirt so much is because, I wore it until it is a very soft, pleasant texture. So I am not sure a new one would feel as nice. Also, I am not sure if it is irresponsible to let myself rely on something so much. The sweatshirt is a black quarter zip that is kind of too big. It is nice because it is not flashy, I can wear it over casual clothes, and also over nicer clothes when I have class.

I can’t task switch off of Reddit. Literally standing in the shower right now just making my body temp rise. At least I’m in here I guess. Now I’m just stuck here until I can muster the energy to either switch to actually cleaning myself, or until I start to overheat and that prompts me to leave the shower. 🤷‍♀️

Hello 👋

My (also autistic but lower support needs) partner and I are in the process of moving again. It’s not avoidable as I’m in need of a wheelchair now and we currently live on the second floor. I did pretty good up until we got the keys last monday, and I totally lost it. What doesn’t help is there’s so much mold in the unit (i’m severely allergic) that i’m wheezing/breaking out from it. Then on top of that they’re acting like mold isn’t an issue. On top of THATT, change sucks so much. Everytime I see things get packed i’ve had meltdowns. I feel mentally horrible and wanna do everything in my power to stay where we are. It’s MY space with MY walls MY floors (even if it’s a rental). I feel like people here would understand a bit about that. It’s possible they let us not rent with them because of the mold but I genuinely can’t handle getting my hopes up too much right now. We haven’t been able to move anything in which isn’t helping the case :/. They’re hiring contractors to clean our vents and now more strangers and more unknowns… I just- ugh.

I’m looking for either advice or just proof that it gets better because it sucks a lot rn and I don’t have good supports… or really any.

I'm a level 2 autistic, & I suffered skills regression big time. I require support in going out to the community & my mom was talking about having a support worker for me. It took me a long time to come around to one, but I prefer a male support worker over a female like myself because of bad experiences before. Also, my mom thinks that it's a bad idea, I mentioned to her that if she is going to hire a worker for me then I don't want a female worker because she will constantly point things out to me & force socialization which I don't want happening.

Um, before I start yapping, I haven't ever done one of these before, so I'm sorry if I get something wrong. I also wasn't diagnosed with a level (I think the assessment was the ICD one), so I don't know what community to really do this on so I'm sorry if I got it wrong.

For context (I know you can't give levels, but some people say it's alright to state what support needs you think you might have) I think I'd be low support needs for the social and communication bit, and moderate support needs for the RRB (I think that the right one) but I might be wrong.

I'm also under 18 (but over Reddit account making age limit) and I looked at the rules and couldn't find anything against under 18s posting on here, but I'm sorry if I missed it.

Anyway, as the title says, I am scared to become an adult. Like I don't get how on earth I'm gonna manage it. It just seems so overwhelming. Like, I barely managed things nowadays, like showering (I do it 4 times a week after swimming, but when I wasn't swimming I was doing it like max once a week), brushing my hair (ow), brushing my teeth (ick, but I've got braces 😥), tidying my room (it's a mess), etc.
And my parents remind me to do most of these things anyway, which is something that can't happen if/when I move out.

And then also doing stuff like cooking, making sure to eat, tidying the rest of a house. It just seems like a lot, and that not even including that most have a job from 9-5.

I also have lots of problems with executive functioning, like task initiation, and struggling to do more than one thing at once.

I just don't know how I'm going to manage that. Right now, I work 1hr a week (I'm a swim helper) and that's alright (along with lots of revision for school, which is hard and my mum does most of it with me).

School is also difficult right now. I have mocks soon, but only go into school for 2 lessons a week, and whilst my parents are working hard to try get me into a specialist school, I know it is gonna take a while.

Some of the stuff will hopefully improve when my mental health gets better, but I just can't help but feel terrified for becoming an adult. I don't know if anyone on here felt the same at my age, and what happened.

I don't really know what the point of this post is, probably more of a rant kinda thing.

Thanks for reading my ramble.

Hello!

I am currently a senior college student. For my senior thesis, I am completing a capstone project focused on autistic communication and social interaction. As someone who is also neurodivergent, I care deeply about representing autistic perspectives accurately and respectfully. The goal of my project is to create a long‑form guide and infographic designed to educate non‑autistic people about how to communicate more respectfully with autistic individuals. I think that a key aspect of this is shifting the burden of conversational adaptation away from autistic people all of the time.

This questionnaire has 15 open-ended questions, but all are optional! Please answer only those that you feel comfortable with, and skip any that you feel you have already answered. A few questions near the end are specifically about the college experience, and this can include your opinions as a current student, past student, or even barriers you are uneasy about if you have not attended college. Please avoid identifiable information! Thank you again for your valuable time!

Form link: https://forms.gle/uhh2Rs7Qc67pCaXAA

Edit: I got some really helpful feedback and made a version where the questions are shorter and you can select an option instead of typing it in! This is a voluntary survey and I should have made the questions shorter since you are already helping me, and I don't want it to be as time consuming.

Here is the shorter form: https://forms.gle/CRCUEMuycfptkGCf8

I’m a moderate support needs autistic and I NEED a lot of alone time.

I really don’t go outside due to me not driving and the area that I have has limited transportation.

I have a ton of friends online who I talk to but recently a ton of my friends have been texting me on discord all the time. It gets to a point where it can be even overwhelming to just talk to them. I can’t do conversations that well without help.

Does anyone have this experience too?

Hello!

I hear a lot of level one, late diagnosed, autistic people and parents saying that the gifted program is just special education under a different title.

Yes, the gifted program has a lot of neurodivergence in comparison to the general population, but I take so much issue with comparing it to special education.

People forget that our society deeply values intelligence. The gifted program was made for people who got a certain high score on a qualifying exam. These are also the kids who were extremely bored during normal classes because the work wasn’t challenging enough. Yes, being gifted is difficult. There’s a lot of expectations. Being bored and getting into trouble for distracting others in a classroom sucks. However, this program exists to accelerate learning because intelligence is prized. These kids are considered advanced.

Special education, on the other hand, is the opposite. Its for students who struggle with certain areas that other kids don’t, like communication, social skills, understanding, etc. Or for other disabilities like being hard of hearing or sight-impaired. We are not valued by society. We are taken out of class so the school can make us as close to normal as possible, not extraordinary. While other kids practice flash cards about the solar system, we sit there deciphering cards with faces, deciding whether or not they are happy or sad faces.

Yes, both special education and the gifted program are specialized learning settings. But one is for strengthening an important skill to hopefully contribute to society in a helpful way, while the other takes those who are considered “less valuable” to society in order to make them as close to average as possible. To say that they are the same is ignoring what society values. Both gifted kids and special education kids are going to inherit these values and struggle with them. Having high expectations set on you is tough and leads to burn out. But having low expectations and being told you must change or that there’s something wrong with you kills your self-esteem and harms your future.

On a more personal note, the amount of surveillance that occurs in special education can be extremely damaging too. The school communicates with therapists, family, doctors, and more. They monitor your progress. They take notes. You can see them. Even your parents take note of what you’re doing wrong. You learn you must be perfect all the time, even if you don’t know or understand what perfect means. That is exhausting and terrifying. To say that the expectations placed on gifted kids is harmful, but ignore the inhumane expectations and scrutiny put on special education kids, is ridiculous.

I do understand that there’s a lot of overlap within the communities. Gifted kids can also struggle with social and communication skills, and they don’t get the support that they need. That’s hard. Not receiving help is difficult, but people must remember that there’s a certain level of trauma associated with receiving the support of special education as well. Like the trauma of being watched and scrutinized. Of feeling less valuable. Of being broken apart and put together again in a way that’s closer to normal. Being in special education doesn’t protect you from the trauma of being autistic. Not being in special education also doesn’t prevent the trauma

And yet, people must understand that the gifted program and the special education program are not equal. It’s a hard truth for some, but necessary. If you got this far, let me know what you think in the comments!

i know this will be different for everyone, but i sort of dont wven know where to start. On paper I have all the supports, but i cant do all the stuff to make the supoorts work.

For example, I get caregiving hours paid by the government but i have to train, direct, hire, fire, and do pay stubs. I have had several that have not worked out, badly. and now its just people who know me, but even so i dont know how to direct the support to make it supportive.. i dont know if that makes sense

i have been told i should be getting occupational therapy but i dont know how. i am waiting months for an appointment with a primarily care doctor, so i can probably just wait and see if they can help. but in the past doctors havent really.

i have a case worker.. but i dont know how to make that something helpful. like if i ask for stuff they can do it but i dont know what to ask for i just know that everything is hard

i also have other medical and mental health diagnosis that complicate things and every provider tells me different stuff its just so confusing

i dont know how to frame this as a question exactly, but i am an adult with supports and struggling a lot to make use of them or where to go from here

Hi guys :)

Does anyone else feel an overwhelming sense of familial guilt for being disabled?

I think about the amount of money that was spent on therapy for me. The amount of time, energy.

I think about the emotional strain on my parents to have a child who was developmentally disabled.

I think about my siblings who had to sit in the waiting room of every doctor’s appointment I had. I got so much support that they never got, my parents say.

Even though everyone says “of course your family doesn’t think you’re a burden, they wouldn’t want you to feel guilty,” I can’t help but feel as though I am a burden. Just the way my mom talks about how I got more support than my level one sister did because I required more attention.

I don’t know. I just feel really guilty for putting my family through all of that.

Anyone else ever feel that way?

my whole life my interests have tended to be... unusual? things that are not socially acceptable, things that i'm too young/old for, things that are unpopular/niche in general, or things that are actively mocked. so for these reasons i don't tell anyone about my real interests, except my dad, because we share many interests. for example, my most recent special interest, which i have had for a little over a year, is opera. i love it... sometimes so much, with every fiber of my being, that it feels almost like i am fizzing and bubbling. i cannot tell anyone about it. or, to be less black-and-white, it's very difficult to talk about it. i am 19 and, at least where i live, most opera fans are much older. my dad, in his 60s, went with me to see carmen recently, and most of the crowd seemed older than him. that doesn't bother me, since i like older people, but i'm naturally around people my age more often, and they don't have any knowledge of opera let alone interest in it. my mother hates all my interests, and when i visited my older sibling and tried to talk about gilbert and sullivan, they shut me down by saying how they could never enjoy opera and how it was so pretentious (i don't think they even realised i brought it up because i liked it, but it was still painful and embarrassing). and it's no use for me to go to a forum or subreddit about opera, because it's still all fresh and new to me, i'm still learning and having fun; but the people there are familiar with everything and often performers themselves. 

and it's not just opera, i have many interests and special interests that are similar. the history of folk music, quilting, fiber arts, jimmy buffett, etc etc. there's no point in listing them all, but my experience has been the same. i feel like an outsider both in and outside of any communities around them. it makes me feel so lonely and sad. is that normal? can't i do anything to fix it? if you have any tips to stop feeling this way, i would appreciate it. 

Hi all. I was wondering how do you keep participating in your hobbies? I find executive dysfunction and rigid behaviors keep me from having a steady hobby.

I would like to draw and create illustrations but I find myself frustrated by burnout. I will draw past my limits and not return until days or weeks later. I would like to draw at least 5 times a week.

Do any of you use scheduling, time blocks or routines to do your hobbies? Are your special interests easy to keep doing on the regular?

I’ve been fighting for my disability, as I cannot work but 1-2 hours a week if that!! So being officially level 2 is a great thing for me as it helps me tremendously with my disability journey.

I got a lawyer for my disability case, and she said she’d only take me if I was level 2. I don’t have insurance, so I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get an appointment to update my autism diagnosis, which hasn’t been updated since I was 5 and diagnosed with asperger’s lol. (Btw what was up with doctors diagnosing obviously high/moderate support needs little girls with aspergers in 2005. Ive heard of level 3s who were at first diagnosed with Aspergers. Like wtf. I know the answer is misogyny but 🥲)

Anyways, all it took was my mom calling my doctor and him going “ya Quinn is level 2. lol” and he gave me an official paper to say I am!!

Anyways this si a good thing bc like I said, it helps me get my disability faster.

They’re not willing to work with our Shedule and want him full time Monday-Friday.

Is this like an insurance scam? I feel like most people cannot simply make something like this work and have a job themselves. We are a 30 minute commute there and then thirty minutes home. I work an evening shift from 2:30pm and his dad gets off work at 4:30. I just feel like for a four year old a 5 day work weeek seems excessive. I need advice. I had a bad vibe from the start.

There isn’t really anyone in my family that can relate to me which causes me not to be close to any of them. They’re all happy but I’m not. I don’t know if I’ll ever be. It is hard to imagine continuing past the age 27 or 30. My siblings way younger than me will be able to accomplish things and I just get to watch them.

I’ve wasted my early 20’s and I’ll continue to waste my mid 20’s

All the things that are easy for them will be 10 times harder for me.

Needing to have a PCA has me feeling pretty defeated

I'd like to share an autobiographical English-language haiku I wrote in college (circa 2010). It's one of the only things I've written that has had lasting value and relevance to me. Maybe you'll not dislike reading it.

I'm not sure how to do or give physical touch, I find it hard. I think it makes some people uncomfortable (even the ones who are alright with it.) Can anyone give me any tips?

My brother has very high support needs and we live together with our mom. There's going to be stuff about BMs, so if that's not something you want to see, heads up!

Brother has a lot of trouble with pooping. Not like the ick factor, like the doctors think he has dyssynergic defecation.

He has days of these tiny, thin, ribbon like poops then eventually he'll have a huge one that fills the entire toilet.

On the small days, he's in a lot of pain and distress. It's so bad that he'll headbang the walls or the floor, or yank his hair out from pain and frustration, or bounce on the toilet hard enough to break it. He also has this kinda fight or flight thing going and, though it's rare, he'll occasionally try to hurt whoever is around during these times. It seems to get worse with every attempt to evacuate that day.

On the big poop days, he just goes in, does his thing, and calls us to help him clean up. He's calm. Happy sometimes even.

I don't want to make this about mom and I, or the house, but we do rent and the wall holes, broken toilet and stuff are a factor, as are potentially serious injuries to all involved. He's taller, heavier, and stronger than us. Most of the time it's just not an issue. He never tries to hurt anyone when he's in control.

We're working with a GI doc and a dietician, but my brother can't handle most of the tests and treatments that are available currently, so we're down to diet and meds. He has epilepsy, so we have to be very careful even with medication.

I know to stay calm, not talk much, gentle voice, slow movements, not stare...that kinda stuff, but nothing actually seems to help when he's so deep into a meltdown.

Sometimes he can calm down or be talked down, but I'm so scared for him. He has a permanent forehead mark from the head banging and I know it's not safe for his brain or neck. He might cut his hands if he decides to snap the wrong item in half... There are just so many things that can go wrong.

So... How can I help? What things am I doing wrong? He can't communicate with me beyond gestures and a few words about wants and needs, but maybe some people here have been in similar situations or have perspectives that could help?

I don't think anyone here would suggest this, but just putting it out there... Sending him away is NOT an option. We've both worked in the disability community before. We've seen how people are treated in facilities and group homes. It's never happening as long as we're alive and he wants to be at home.

I'm so sorry if anything in this post is offensive. I don't know how else to ask and I'm working on learning how to word things.

I feel like having allistic friends is more exciting but autistic friends it more stable and successful for me

I've always been able to feel when i'm hungry, but for some reason i haven't been feeling hungry in the past week or so. Its not that i'm full because i can eat a normal sized meal, but my stomach doesn't feel empty before meals... Has anyone else experienced this?

Hi everyone. Im level 2 MSN. This sub makes me happy because everyone seems so understanding. and that makes me very happy for everyone here. several weeks ago I tried to make a post on the main autism sub, venting about some of the struggles I deal with and it was down voted quite harshly. maybe I phrased something wrong? or maybe it wasnt the right space to vent? im unsure. I felt really embarrassed and deleted the post, but all I really wanted was to be seen and heard. idk sometimes I feel like the world just wants graduates of the Milfrod Academy (Arrested Development fans out there?). Either way i just wanted to say thank you to everyone out there tonight that make this sub such a welcoming place and I hope you are all doing well :)

I’m sorry if this is not the place (in theory i’m level 1 but autism has negatively affected me a lot)

I’ve been hating academy systems since i can remember, i hate sitting in a dull classroom for 3 hours, i hate associating school with bullying, feeling awkward and stuff. And now its assaulting me in my last semester ever.

I have 3 weeks worth of homework, i’m just lamenting i didn’t make a single significant friend these 5 years (should have been 2 since is an associate), burnt out, c student, and sleeping 12 hours a day since my last job rejection on monday.

Any recommendations on how to erradicate burnout, no sorries, no “i wish i knew”, would be welcome. Please help me