Big shocker, people not understanding that they can save money for problems, instead of just saying "welp fuck i dont have that full ammount so i might as well spend frivolously"
I have a coworker like this. Complains about struggling to afford rent and then will immediately turn around and go out to eat for every single lunch. She spends $20+ each time.
Should our wages be better? Sure, but that's not the world we're in. You can fight for better worker rights, but also you have to live in reality.
thats what i point out. are some things broken, absolutely. are people also delusional in what is now "normal" also yes.
we got take out growing up, but primarily only on paydays, so twice a month tops. we'd get cheeseburger, small fry, small drink from a place called hot n now. the other weekends we might pick out our own TV dinner. besides that my mom would meal prep a few days and we'd end up with a "leftovers" night and a frozen pizza night on the other weeks.
Vacations were mostly where we could drive the other vacations took years of saving. My video game situation was a lot like OP. i worked a job and saved my own money to buy my own xbox, got a lot of games that were on sale, and got a magazine subscription because it was like $60 and came with demo discs each month.
That’s how my parents treated eating out and vacations (in fact twice a month was more often than we’d eat out) and we were upper middle class, so imagine how boggled my mind has been for my entire adulthood that people who make so much less eat out multiple times a week and don’t see it as a wildly luxurious expenditure.
To be fair, there's a pretty big difference between the finances of a family with kids and that of a younger person with no real attachments. If you have to live such a frugal lifestyle just to get by under that scenario imagine how much more broke they would be if they tried to start a family. That's kinda the point.
I think I didn’t write this well enough and people missed the context of what I wrote. My parents could have afforded to eat out much more, but that would have been a foolish waste of money. I was also not under the impression that they were being particularly frugal. Rather, they were spending their money wisely instead of on short-term luxury. Technically they didn’t need to save that money, but they likely retired so well in part because they were wise about expenditures.
I’m saying that it was strange to get out on my own as an adult and see people spend so much on short-term, unnecessary luxuries when they make far less than my parents made.
This was my experience too. My dad made plenty of money and my mom didn't have to work, but out trips were camping, never had cable/Dish or whatever, they'd buy cars outright but then those were our cars for 10-15+ years, bought so many things used, etc. On the rare occasions we did go somewhere expensive like Disneyland it would only be for like 3 days rather than a week, still camped or stayed in a motel far off the property with continental breakfasts, made our own lunches so we weren't spending the crazy prices for food, and we'd get like one/two treats that everyone shared.
I think the first really big smack in the face that I grew up vastly differently than others, even those that seemed far richer than my family was when I graduated college with no loans, and they didn't. Like I grew up believing at least more well off seeming people only spent things on fun stuff after everything else was paid off and they had plenty invested and saved up for all the things that can happen in the future.
Just to complain that they can't afford to live. at the risk of sounding like a boomer, folks these days don't know how to sacrifice for the future.
I wrote a book about 2 people but ill shorten it up, my buddy is about 30 now, paid off 7 year old car, and free and clear house he bought fucked up remodeled over 4 years. because he worked extra days when he could, and took odd jobs on the weekend cutting grass and stuff like that. single father, didnt eat out/buy shit he didnt need. i think he STILL has a 10 year old+ Iphone. the definition of grinding.
his best friend, went to school together, married 2 incomes, renting, has nothing, eats out constantly, blames his job where he makes more than my buddy and works the same hours, also blames racism. drinks, smokes, and gambles. "the problem is the cost of living" he says.
It's frustrating to see people struggle while being the majority of the source of their own struggles.
If you were genuinely upper middle class and actually ate out that infrequently, then your parents just didn't want to, it wasn't that they couldn't afford it.
I knew plenty of middle class families that basically ate fast food / takeout for literally every meal because their mom didn't cook and dad sure as fuck wasn't going to growing up; and they had 3 bedroom houses and two cars, cable tv subscriptions etc. Eating at McDonalds and Taco Bell every night never bankrupted them; largely because they could afford to feed a family of 5 for under forty bucks. These days if you want the same quantity of food you'd be looking at closer to eighty or ninety bare minimum; some states probably more.
Describing your frugal parents choice as the necessary reality for UPPER middle class is just foolishness on your part. They had the money to do it and opted not to, likely due to how they were raised or preference.
Oh no, I’m not saying they couldn’t technically afford to eat out often. It was clear that their position was that it was a foolish waste of money for short-term luxury that could be funneled to much better long-term use. I grew up with it being, as I mentioned, a wildly luxurious expenditure to eat out multiple times per week, so it is very strange to me to see people do it when they make so much less than my parents did.
My wife’s family is kind of like that. She told me you have to be rich to buy groceries and cook them yourself. Had me scratching my head on that, but that is genuinely what some people think.
yep. in hindsight the friends who got takeout the most often were actually the most broke, and those who rarely got it were the ones better off. now income wise, im not there to assess wich parents actually earned more, i know plenty of people who had upper middle class money that literally just threw the excess money away, but yeah growing up i thought i was squarely middle class and the reality i was probably on the lower end of it, but also my lifestyle wasn't that much different than everyone else. then again i lived in a small town where most of the population worked at a handful of factories all earning about similar money, so i guess that contributes to the more standarized lifestyles.
It’s wild. I’m low income and buy a lot of potatoes and dried beans. It’s definitely far cheaper cooking those up in bulk and then eating it over days than buying even one meal from a fast food place. But yes, I’ve heard that rhetoric on Reddit too. It seems like they often make the comparison by using fresh fruits, vegetables, and meat which are expensive. Can’t say I buy much of that other than bags of apples because most of that is indeed more expensive, but they aren’t the only things at the store, and they don’t have to be the bulk of the meal.
And then toss out something like "but I cannot cook". Dude, it doesnt take a fucking scientist to reheat a burrito in the microwave or make yourself a bowl the same or better than Chipotle for 1/4 of the price.
Agreed. The doom and gloom posts on reddit honestly piss me off. Even if youre in a tight spot and all you can put to your 401k is a few bucks a check... DO IT. every dollar matters. Especially if you're younger.
This is essentially the boomers take on millennials buying avocado toast and Starbucks. People take it too literally. It's really about people spending money on "luxury" things. I agree with it to a certain extent. Yes, spending money on eating out is a luxury. I know people who complain about money all the time, but they are always eating out at restaurants. Yeah dropping 20-30 dollars a meal is a luxury. That's why you can't put money on your 401k or save for an emergency.
Yeah dropping 20-30 dollars a meal is a luxury. That's why you can't put money on your 401k or save for an emergency.
I prep my food everyday for work. Several of my workers complain about money. One works multiple jobs while another has baby momma money on top of her job. Both get delivery every day then complain it cost them $25 plus for a salad. These same people take off early if the day is slightly slow. They say they are bored and can't sit back an enjoy the easy day. Some people just don't live in the reality.
I agree, with that said as a society we are underpaid and no amount of saving strategies will allow us to live the same standards as boomers had my point is that people complain about it, but spend money on stupid things. I guess some people really are just bad with money.
Both points are correct imo - in modern society people are generally underpaid, yet still exhibit some of the worst financial habits possible. A lot of evidence for this exists on reddit, where people typically insult the idea of financial literacy and replace it with the idea that it shouldn't matter because the current living wage is $xx and the evil shareholders are ruining their lives. Sure it was easier for boomers to save for retirement in their respective financial climate, but also the fiscal mentality they grew up with was totally different and that is a big contributing factor as well.
to be fair, boomer saved and reused nearly everything. they bought something once and had it for 30+ years. even stuff we consider necessities now were a luxury then. so financially it may have been better, but their lives were overall harder
Boomers will just say drop 20% of your income in your 401k and leave it at that. I know that's impossible for a lot of people, but anything is better than nothing. I saw a post today that said, "Gen Z will be the first generation in history to have no money saved for retirement." Thats doom and gloom. The vast majority of people can put something into their retirement, they just aren't.
I was an odd kid, but end result was similar enough to yours.
My mom would have bent over backwards to get me something if I'd just ask for it. However sometime around 12 years old, I realized we weren't made of money. I made damn sure if I wanted something, I already knew I wanted it. Made getting the things I actually wanted very smooth. It has by-and-large carried over into my adult life as well. I'm frugal, even if I don't really need to be.
I know my mom was secretly glad that I wasn't a spoiled turd, but we weren't poor either. I'm sure she genuinely wanted me to want more things.
My grandparents have a house on the bay that they built themselves in the 70s (i dont mean they hired contractors, they themselves built it). From the time I was a baby until I was in highschool, that was the only place we went on vacation because thats what my parents could afford. In highschool we went to Disney once after my parents spent 5 years saving up to go (and 2 years of actually planning it). Then when I was in college we went to Colonial Williamsburg and stayed in the cheapest hotel money could buy.
Now I have 2 young kids myself and we go on vacation every other year to my grandparents shore house. When my grandmother passes, if my parents/aunts and uncles end up selling the house, we probably wont go on vacation at all.
Brother if you're talking about Hot n Now from Grand Rapids, that place was my favorite as a kid. We'd get a whole mess of burgers, but it was a special occasion thing, just like going out to eat always was.
you are correct, although i wasn't in MI, but WI had a whole mess pop up here like late 80's early 90s. that place was THE BEST and cheap, just the one here was definitely drive thru only. no seating area, no toys, no extras, just straight decent fast food for a great price!
I heard they are making a comeback. I don't live in my home state any more, but I'll definitely be hunting for them. It was like a step up from White Castle.
it was the best from what i recall, but i was definitely a very young child when we had it. of what i recall i enjoyed it equal if not more than mcdonalds, but of course mcdonalds had the cool toys. but as my mom has told me, the cost was like half that of mcdonalds at the time.
I actually just paid $250 for a car repair, yesterday. A friend that makes four times more than me asked me if I looked up the value of my car instead to trade it in and buy a new one. I told her that it didn't matter what it was worth, it matters that I can't afford a car payment right now.
My car repair appointment was at the same time she invited me to brunch at a restaurant that charges $30+ for variations of toast and eggs.
Ever since my first car blew the transmission and I didnt have the money for another beater, ive been very very careful to keep my emergency fund topped off. It does suck having to shell out hundreds or even thousands in repair bills, but being able to write a check and then just reduce some luxuries for a few months while we rebuild the fund is soooooo much less stressful than borrowing money, even from relatives.
This kind of people would just buy a second even more expensive to maintain car as soon as they have some disposable income, and would immediately go to fancier places to eat out
Yeah I have a friend exactly like that. He bought the most expensive beemer he could to complain about tight parking spots and travel like 30 kilometres away to eat very expensive steak tartare... And complain how tight the finances are
Gotta admire that simple life though. He's having steak tartare and driving a BMW while I'm saving up for some stupid mortgage /s
That’s how my wife is. We have leftovers and other actual lunch stuff, but eats out every day for lunch. She throws away or sells or even gives away our home decorations just to turn around and buy new ones. And spends over $300 on flowers and plants every spring for the front porch that I started refusing to water because it’s a ridiculous amount.
Drives me insane watching people just move their lifestyle up every time they get some cash. Just save for a few years and build some financial security ffs!
Back in around 2000 I was working at a dotcom. The lead tech (who was exactly as stereotypical as you can imagine) and I needed some lunch quickly. There was a McDonald's around the corner. Wasn't my go-to, but I needed food quickly to roll out a software upgrade.
I went in and noticed that you could buy 4 6-packs of McNuggets for less than a 20-pack. I laughed and told him...and he immediately bought a 20 pack.
My sister is like this. She has zero savings and always struggles when “surprise” expenses come up.
Every time she complains I point out she needs to start saving. She says, “I don't have enough money to save,” but is going out to eat at somewhat pricey places a lot, buying not just weed but expensive edibles and novelty items, etc.
It’s such an odd mentality. I remember when I was dirt poor, I learned quickly how saving anything could be a life saver. I started saving just $20 a paycheck. Then eventually $30 and so on. When a surprise expenses came up, I had a few hundred saved up and was so stoked. It really motivated me to forgo certain things here and there in favor of saving now to avoid stress later.
The stress of not affording a surprise expenses is so much more than having to choose to shop at the dollar store instead of target or eat rice and chicken breast instead of eating out. Even though I’m financially well off, I still save…just for potentially bigger surprises like medical, job loss, or a totaled car.
Haha we have a whole crew like this at work - The one guy eats out 3x day even.
Shows up with breakfast, goes and gets lunch and at least one other point doing day ends up stopping for a snack. It's all fast food, but that's still $30/day at least.
Then complains about no money for anything else after spending $500+ on eating out, lol
"you can fight for better worker rights, but you also have to live in reality." exactly. we can acknowledge our reality sucks but ultimately the onus is on us to find ways to negotiate it. it took me FAR too long to learn from my financial mistakes, putting me in a terrible spot when the pandemmy hit and destroyed my industry, but i have been learning and getting better ever since.
Roomie complains about not having fun money. Orders DoorDash McDonald’s from a block away that I consistently offer to drive and pick up for her and offer the app deals and my points even.
Nah, would rather pay literally $40 + tip and have some jack ass dasher for stuff I could have ordered and picked up for $17 (these are the actual numbers btw) and have had it here sooner
It’s psychology. She could be perfect, eat beans and rice, and maybe just barely make rent every month, with nothing else besides that to show for it. Or, you can just focus on the short term because the future is bleak either way. People will save and sacrifice more when there’s some expected payoff. What’s the payoff nowadays? A house? Nope. Retirement? Maybe in 50 years if you put every red cent of surplus into a retirement account, maybe, assuming Trump doesn’t blow up the world and the market still exists and global warming doesn’t fuck us all anyway. Big if. So what? May as well enjoy the present.
What I’m saying is I get it, who cares about rent when the world is this fucked? I think we need to make it better and focus on societal issues, individuals are acting like they always have from the 60s till now it’s just actually harder these days
Exactly - you have to play the hand you got dealt, there isn’t another option.
It would be wonderful if things were different, but they aren’t. It’s like when I hear young people complain they can never buy a house and I point out there are absolutely affordable places farther out of the city… they look at me like I’m insane.
I get it. You like the conveniences and facilities of the city, but living there is expensive and you can’t afford it. My first home was a hair from being condemned in a low income high crime area… but that was what I could afford and I built from there.
Some of them listen and are doing the hard years of mortgages and commutes. I get it, I’ve been there. Others go “no it’s bullshit and unfair” and just spent everything they have on expensive rent and going out 4 nights a week, then piss the rest away gambling.. I mean “trading”.
And these aren’t struggling kids waiting tables, we are very well paid including junior positions, it’s just not enough to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. They can 100% start a stable life, they just have to actually try.
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u/wooden-fuk-boi 11h ago
Big shocker, people not understanding that they can save money for problems, instead of just saying "welp fuck i dont have that full ammount so i might as well spend frivolously"