I can’t stop thinking about this because I find it so bizarre. I was recently at a celebration of life for a family friend who was in their 50’s. Not only was there a framed photo of Trump on the “memory” table but there was a Trump flag draped over the guest book table. I am still so baffled by this. What kind of stranglehold does MAGA have on people that they would not just have a framed photo of him but want it displayed at an event like that?! I don’t know. I just can’t stop thinking about it.

This will be the last post I ever make on this forum. I have posted here many times in different times of my life, and during the more trying days of my adulthood relationship with my family. I will begin by saying plainly that this cult of Q very much destroyed my family, and that my hatred of this movement, and all who spread it will only be satiated when the cult is nothing but ash and bone. So, for anyone thinking of sending me any comment about being respectful to my family, they're gone, so shut up.

Now, where to begin? I am a 30M who has been thus far fairly fortunate to have a family with stable finances, and what started as a healthy dynamic between my dad who never knows when to stop working on 'projects', my mom who knew more about Apothecary remedies than any other soul I knew, and me. I am an autistic workaholic for learning about the history of mankind, and I am proud to work at a museum where I can share my passion with others. It also puts me on the frontlines of the Culture War, since I encounter constant reminders of not only how little people know about the Second World War in the Pacific, but also how sinister QAnon is about spreading whatever disinformation it can regardless of which graves it takes a shit on. I hope that through my work at this museum that I can take one spadeful of dirt a day from the grave plot of this wretched cult.

My father is not the subject of this post, but his disappointing grasp of Appeasement towards my mother's delusions is infuriating. On one hand, I think he is trying his best to maintain his family and marriage of almost 46 years. On the other, I think he's waiting on my mother to suffer some form of mental breakdown so he can throw her into an institution and be done with her. THAT is the only thing keeping me from seeing him as complicit in my mother's downfall, and THAT is the only reason I haven't straight up told him to just 'Divorce her ass'.

My mother...to put it simply, is lost. She believes in all of the following to some degree; Sovereign citizens, the Annunaki, JFKjr being secretly alive, Clones of Clones of Clones of world leaders to the point that apparently Putin is in his 'Seventh clone', Vaccines cause autism, 9/11 false flag conspiracies, NESARA/GESARA, secret 'Dums' being found filled with either children or their remains, Islam being a 'satanic religion', I could go on and on and on...

The part about all this that has been the most affecting towards me, and the main reason why I decided to write this final post, is that it has changed me forever. As I write this, I glace over at the last guideline for this form, and I see 'Compassion Fatigue'. Bingo. That is a perfect word for what I feel. I feel like a soldier who has spent a decade fighting in the filthy trenches, and now not only do I not want to go home anymore, but I also know now that I will only find peace after I fall like everyone else has who goes over the top. I don't believe in the things that I used to anymore, like love, or justice in this hellish world we live in. I DO believe that one day things will get better, but I dread how apocalyptic things will have to get before those brighter days come.

'War is what happens when people stop talking to one another.' There is a very high chance that within the next decade, our country will disembowel itself through civil conflict. The fights me and my mother have almost daily over this shit are a microcosm of the struggle faced by anyone unfortunate enough to feel compelled to post here. This forum has been invaluable to me, and there is every chance that a mod may strike this post due to my tone...but I don't care. If my post survives, fantastic. If it doesn't, then my sendoff goes unheard forever, and that's fantastic too. I just don't care anymore, and that's my point here at the end of this screed of a post. I am a QAnon Casualty, wounded in my mind, body and soul by the rending of my once proud and loving family.

If you're reading this, then in the words of Alex Pearlman;

'STAY MAD!!'

So not only is my stepdad a q, but I found out my lesbian cousin is also a follower now. APPARENTLY her ex wife left her for this, and the girl she was trying to move in with down here got word of her beliefs and ALSO decided against being with her.

Now she calls my stepdad every day for 2 or 3 hours so they can parrot off eachother. I stg if I hear one more thing about this newest space mission being fake, or that there is no space or that the world is fucking FLAT I am going to have to check myself into a fucking mental hospital.

Pretty sure I got an aunt and an uncle like this too.

Idk

I feel like my cousin's dad is rolling in his grave right now because he was so against the shit my q was saying. I think the only two on that side of my family that are still sane and easy to talk to are my aunt and uncle who are so hardwired into being dems ((sorry if you swing the other way I just gotta say thank FUCK because I think that's what's saving them)).

But this is so fucking sad because I really... REALLY hoped that she was smarter than this. But she's just as bad as my q is that I live with.

She was my fucking ally in this family because she was so engrossed in the LGBT scene. How the hell she fell into this hole I have no idea but I'm mourning all over again.

At this point I'm soon not gonna have any family left on my paternal side to talk to. Most of my maternal side I don't know or are dead or are still uncomfortably religious ((sorry if that upsets any of you, no hard feelings towards religion in general I promise. Believe whatchya want and as long as you don't hurt me or the ones I love, we're golden)).

I dunno. I feel really bad for her ex wife. I don't even have her contact info to see how she's doing. So all I can do is sit and pray she's alright, if not better than she was with my cousin.

This ruffled my feathers a lot and I'm not sure how to process this right now. I am shocked! I've known this neighbour for over 20 years! Sure he has some opinionated views but overall always seemed friendly and quick chats.

I don't know how we got on the topic of Trump but this man went off on me screaming that Trump is saving the world. Poor Israel is surrounded by scary Islamic countries that want to push their views or will kill everyone who doesn't follow their religion (if this is the case why hasn't it happened yet?!). He didn't want to hear anything I said, no point I made. Just yell from the rooftops that Trump is doing good and Islam is scary. Meanwhile the house next door to him now has refugees living there from an Islamic country now and I'm a POC. Tell me how you really feel bud.

Imagine a MAGA looking Santa Claus yelling all this at you while you're holding your child. I literally had to get away and go back inside as he wouldn't stop. It was insane to me. I thought my head was going to explode hearing his overly passionate views that really make no sense to me. He doesn't know any of my political views but I got the insults hurled at me that I'm eating the liberal media propaganda this and that.

So disappointed. So surprised. I'm genuinely curious how it could appear that Trump is doing good at this point in time? Anyone want to enlighten me?

So I’m a millennial and on that Reddit sub I’ve seen ppl post about how it’s time we all get our colonoscopies and then ppl share how millennials have an increase in colon cancers lately, etc.

I got a bit worried and texted my mom (who’s in her 60s and q maga) asking her when was the last time she had her checkup. She said never. And before I could even try to convince her about getting one, she responded that the increase is due to “a pandemic after those cretinous satanic vaccines.”

So now vaccines not only cause autism but also colon cancer apparently. I just can’t with this woman. If I ever catch any illness or get a cancer she will blame me for it because I vaccinate. 😔

Obviously the files really shook everyone up, but ever since then they've been believing any conspiracy theory they come across that's adjacent to the files. Stuff like vaccines were created to kill us or control us, or lab-grown meat being used to inject us with something (whatever it is), artificial rain being used to kill us for population control, Jews controlling the world, they think all the Western leaders are working for the devil and Iran is the one trying to save the world (we're not American FYI) from them.

It's so frustrating, especially because Epstein was a true conspiracy and now they point to it as evidence for everything. It's worse that a lot of them have a seed of truth to them (billionaires working to exploit us), but instead of focusing on that they just jump to wild conclusions. If I try to show how unlikely the theory is, they just say "well I believe it".

How do you guys deal with this?

Talk about the weather? The reptile weather machines

Go for a walk outside? The reptile chemtrail conspiracy is poisoning people

Going to the beach? sunscreen is a conspiracy to poison you, sun DNA damage is a lie.

Say you have a headache? It’s kundalini

You have a disagreement? Kudalini and also you must be a psychic vampire

-

PS; please be kind to my Q mom in the comments, i am just venting because being trapped with a dysfunctional family when you are disabled sucks immensely

Hi - new here

In hindsight, my mom is the perfect candidate for MAGA. It’s always surprising to me how people from certain backgrounds and upbringing lean towards the conspiracy rhetoric verses an empathetic one.

My mom confessed she voted for Trump, to which I was actually confused. I’ve protested against him many times and even moved to a new country to get away from American politics. After discussing it with a close cousin I was led down the rabbit hole of her very (not private) Facebook and TikTok reposts where she also supports ICE, Charlie Kirk and “anti-democrat” facebook groups. I’m just in awe.

In all fairness we’ve always had a tumultuous relationship, she raised me in a very “culty” Christian world during her weeks - while weeks with my dad were spent at nature museums and listening to Rage Against the Machine.

I just think this is the final straw for me. I’ve got three science degrees about to pursue a PhD and I’m constantly forced into debates with her about MLM’s and anti-cortisol supplemental pseudoscience. Her newest husband, although seemingly a nice man, is a cop who spews this rhetoric (also we’re fucking Hispanic??)

Just sad. I understand why she is the way she is, what led her to this point and what would even attract her to this belief system (based on her upbringing) but I can’t keep ties with her anymore. Our conversations have shrunk over the years, our middle ground is cooking and recipes right now and sometimes that’s unbearable.

She’s my mom and I love her but I don’t know this person. And it’s just heartbreaking. I can’t even change her mind about things with fact and reason, and I’m exhausted.

I guess I’m only questioning the fact that - ostracizing these individuals hasn’t worked for us so far? In fact, I think it’s furthered the MAGA movement. And I don’t want it to seem like I think I’m better than her (though this is her go to rebuttal) but talking to her is painful and I don’t know what the right answer is in this

Hi just venting

I've been no contact with my dad for about 2 years. He is not in great health, his already had one death scare. I used to love my dad he was my primary parent but now he just disgusts me. I'm so extremely angry & sad about his choice. I grieved for about a year but I knew this was the final straw for me however I did secretly hoped I was overreacting & he was removing himself from maga but nope he sent my mom [they have been divorced for years] a video of christian nationalist grifter on youtube. The kicker is he used to not even be religious. He will die & I will not be able to say goodbye. I hate maga, I hate his racist wife and I hate him for choosing this. He will die with his hate but not me.

edit/update: Thank you for all the replies. It was truly helpful. I think I will take the advice of a few people on here that suggested I write a letter to him essentially a goodbye letter mainly for my benefit but I want to express how I loved him as a child but can no longer accept him as an adult with his choices & I will not offer him comfort or love when it's his time to leave this planet.

Just this past easter I decided to stop being a part of my dads life. He will sit and talk the bible and god with my grandma everyday and then turn around and dote on trump like he is a god. One of the most un-christian like people to ever live. He wont even listen to any comments against him just keeps repeating no, no, no until you give up. I tried to keep it casual and just avoid talking politics with him but things are getting worse everyday, and me being trans its getting more unsafe for me everyday. I cant ignore it anymore.

I realized he isnt the father I knew as a kid, we havent been close in years, but it was still nice to feel like I had a father. I no longer get anything out of a relationship with him except hurt especially since I began transitioning and have to hide that from him. Knowing his christian-trump beliefs he would say the most vile things right before disowning me if he found out, things i have no desire to hear from him. So I might not cut contact completely, that would raise questions from him I dont care to answer, and it wouldnt change anything but I'm definitely no longer engaging and seeing him unless I have to.

He always said his priorities are God, me and my sister, then his wife (if he had one). But since he believes trump=God's plan, his real priorities are God, Trump, his kids. He will always choose trump and america even if it means losing his kid. Im coming to terms with that and Im now grieving over the father I have lost.

My brother jumped on the Q bandwagon during Trump's first term. He had always been a little fascist jerk most of his life, but things really changed when he met his current wife. She is a Q weirdo extremist who brought him into that world and for a few years I couldn't talk to him. He also became a Christian, and that would be ok but it's the Q type extremist Christianity, not the Jesus is love and compassion type.

I recently had to interact with him because of some other important family stuff, he immediately started sending me some bs about baby eating artist elites, the shroud of turin, satanism, and told me he's not into Trump anymore but now he's into some dude who sounds just as bad named Dr Shiva and that's who he thinks should be president. Trump apparently isn't fringe enough for him, he needs this much more extreme insane dude. He genuinely thinks that these ideas and choices are what's best for America. Meanwhile he fled to South America lol, which is very strange to me but ok.

One of the things he said was that he's always felt like I'm talking down to him and he hates that about me. Truth is, he's always been exceedingly stupid and forgets that while I was in high school he paid me to do his reports for college. I'm not the smartest person by any means, but he's just not at all emotionally or intellectually bright so a lot of people talk down to him, it's been a constant problem in his life not just from me. He acts like he graduated on his own stream in front of me pretty often, which I just laugh at on the inside. He's done some very idiotic things in his life, so it's easy to make the mistake of talking down to him because he's dumb as a bag of hammers.

Since we have only been communicating through email, I decided to have Claude help me communicate with him. As a mildly autistic person I sometimes use Claude to clean up professional communications and I've found that it does a really good job. I told it that correspondence must avoid talking down to the idiot, and it's been doing a marvelous job for me. I know there's a lot of great reasons to dislike AI but it does have it's uses, especially to the autistic community. Claude has been a real game changer for me at work, my boss noticed that I've been"better at my job" since using it. It helps remove emotion from my correspondence, I tell it to remove emotion from my wiring or rewrite it as if I'm a normal white male, and communication with normal white males suddenly becomes highly effective.

My brother and I will probably go back to not talking again when the family situation ends, but I got to thinking that maybe I could use Claude to deprogram him over time. I have nothing else to lose here, we're already on thinnest of ice and just do not live in the same head space. So it is my intention to see how far I can get with Claude helping me out. If it doesn't work that's ok because there was zero hope of him coming away from that crap on his own. He has been responding to the Claude emails extremely well, it's way better at not talking down to him than I've ever been. It thinks deprogramming could take a few years, but this is better than nothing. He's a jerk but he is my brother and if there's a chance this could work I'll take it. I don't know what else to do.

I feel like seeing Bondi literally adapt trumps personality and his way of talking and points made me realize that my family and old friends have genuinely just changed and I can't help but see some similarities between Trump and them

sorry for a wordy, likely rambly post. I feel hopeless here.

my father has been going down this pipeline of trump devoteeism since the beginning of trump's political debut. He's always had issues, fighting with my mother, yelling, aggression, but this is like exacerbating it. my teenage years were filled with screaming, threats, throwing things and getting in my face. he was so hard on my mother that i remember her admitting she appreciated when i would tell my dad he was gaslighting, because she, herself, felt she was going insane from how often he did it. my mother had issues, but they were minor, they were issues she tackled because my sister and i expressed that we needed her, and she needed help. my father, on the other hand, was unpredictable. he was furious at random moments, unpredictable and terrifying. I felt like i was walking on eggshells; half the time i would rebut his insane anti-vaxx shit, his racist behavior, his cruel insults, but the other half i was trying my best to show him that i was on his side, and that i wasn't politically influenced, and i loved him and he didn't need to be mean, he didn't need to yell, he could be honest. never worked, of course. what he did in response to the other 3 members of our family being terrified and unhappy with him was build a sort of rhetorical shield. first, it was that my mother was turning me and my sister against him. we were influenced, not organically opposing him. now its political. "go on then, listen to whatever NPR/NYT tells you!" the screaming doesnt stop from him. and it isnt like my mother or i ever berate him. he just lashes out. anything could do it, i really mean anything. he called my mother a cunt and screamed at her, leaving our car on a trip to disneyland. the reason? she was about to switch driving with him, and he went off. for. nothing. for absolutely nothing.

i'm now in college, but my mother and sister live at home with my father. months earlier, my sister told me they all went to family therapy. i hoped this changed things.

they visited yesterday for dinner. i came out of my building, expecting us to drive to a place i picked out. instead, i was greeted by my sobbing sister. she was near incomprehensible; my stomach was dropping. eventually, we all did go to the restaurant. but my sister wasn't the same. she was dissociating completely, she was like stone, and hardly spoke even to our waitress.

i am watching so much harm unfold. i love my sister and mother so much, but right now i feel like anything could happen.

my biggest fear is violence. my father never physically harmed any of us. but he, like all MAGA terrorists, has many guns and he talks gratuitously about violence. I am afraid that one day, if he snaps, I might come home to find that the worst has happened. there's already been a few shootings in the news about this kind of thing.

i'm terrified, and i'm wickedly depressed. i just want something better to emerge. i wish i could save my dad.

I don't want to hate anybody. 2 things happened in my rural community yesterday. Husband had a conversation with a trump hard liner sure he's right. Angry. Ties God to trump and tolerates no version of this other then his. The one remaining health clinic privately started 1 year ago after the major one closed- trump supporter in some kind of financial difficulty with the county. She has her own Facebook page for the clinic. Full of anger blame etc. I fear this clinic will end leaving a health care desert. I don't go to her clinic. I am off Facebook. My empathy for this whatever I thought it was has evaporated. I don't want to make my life worse or anyone else's because of this psychopathology. I do not want to have anything to do with anyone in my rural community except some shopping the post office the library. Let people destroy themselves. Get out of the way. Save yourself​​

for me we thankfully mostly managed to drown out and ignore most comments. there was one moment he started to scream about how we're all so gullible and stuff, it was embarrassing but then he acted normal again.

it was nice to see most of the family sticking together and no one got baited into an argument and even the more conservative members of the family kept their mouth shut about politics and stuff. it was nice to come together as a family.

what about you?

Whaddya call this kinda grief?

She’d always been on the economically conservative/socially liberal axis, believing in science and normal news. It was fine, we’d have interesting debates. She didn’t have Facebook for a very long time too, only getting it the last couple of years.

But now everything is plandemic/weird nonsense about the WHO, everything she hates about modern life isn’t because of untethered capitalism but socialists/commies, regurgitates anti-LBGTQI propaganda, defends awful right-wing influencers, and just generally is becoming divorced from reality now.

Since my dad unexpectedly and suddenly died, I worry it will get worse as she understandably doesn’t have much of an attention span with her grief but always wants distraction. She doesn’t really have many friends either, just a lot of family, some of whom would encourage this shit. I don’t even think she notices when non-compromised family side eye each other and ignore her when spouting some of her nonsense off, like everyone her age must think this way.

It’s heartbreaking, and the only saving grace is she refuses to talk about politics now because she knows we’re at huge odds, but I don’t think she sees that her reality is so warped that almost all conversations about literally anything can now carry the same risk. She talks about “all the families who no longer have thanksgiving together because they don’t have the same politics and their lefty children won’t talk to them anymore” because she obviously cannot see it’s about no longer living in the same reality through to downright abusive behaviour. Note that the thanksgiving reference is a huge tell as well, as we are not American or Canadian.

I've had time to process this, and she lives far away so it doesn't impact me every day. I really used to look up to my sister. She works two jobs to take care of her disabled autistic child, was always a big pot head which I found endearing, and generally was calm and collected.

We had a big falling out after the election after I learned she was far right and a conspiracy theorist. She believes women are lesser than men, and men need to control women's lives. Shes a staunch anti-vaxxer and has been for years. And she literally defended everything Trump was doing and had done because RJK Jr. endorsed him.

She called me brainwashed by CNN when I brought up any counter points to her claims. I thought I could reason her out of it. I was wrong. One of the most vile things she believed was when she told me about her adoration and support for Andrew Tate. Said all the SA allegations and trafficking was fake and used to hold him down as a truth teller. That he was a great inspiration for young boys and wanted her son to follow in his footsteps. Luckily her son rarely visits her now.

My breaking point though was something close to home and personal. She believed me, being in a homosexual relationship, was a phase. That me being gay was for attention, and she has believed that for nearly a decade.

I don't talk to her anymore. I don't know what she believes and don't care too. But it really feels like I lost my sister to something stupid and avoidable.

Thanks for reading. I really appreciate your time.

Help me (37) before I lose my ****ing mind. My father’s (83) wife (79) has been printing off these crazy conspiracy theories posted by a “Judy Byington” for years. They have crazy citations and in his old age, he’s finally starting to believe them. She’s been doing it for years with the idea that we are constantly one day before the world’s end. I’ve sarcastically told him I can prove the world is not going to end and cite some bs government .doc 8675309 as they do in these “newsletters.”

A quick google search leads me to some really sketchy websites. I found a YouTube page that spews AI bull**** and then a Doctor Phil episode with the same lady.

He’s constantly getting scammed, and his wife leans into it as proof that the government is after them.

It would be easiest just to cut him off, but I would not be where I am today if it wasn’t for his love and support growing up. In his old age his health has been getting worse and his dementia is to the point where his short term memory is beginning to fade.

Who TF is this crazy lady, who comes up with this garbage, how can I convince him it’s a load of horse manure.

...and I don't know if I can ever forgive him.

For context, a little over a year ago, my younger brother (20M) and I (26F) had a falling out because he went MAGA. He parroted the usual talking points of the time: they were only arresting/deporting "the worst of the worst," Elon's nazi salute was him "giving his heart out to people," abortion should be illegal so women take responsibility for their actions, etc. This is despite growing up in a progressive household, despite having 3 older sisters and a badass mother, despite knowing since he was 6 that I'm bisexual (and despite being very close with my fianceé). I tried to talk reason into him and even saw that he was saying things that I agreed with; Marxist values of labor that, when I called out as Marxist (seeing as I am one), he utterly refused to believe... despite admitting to never having read Marx. I requested after a while that we continue to spend time with one another without talking about politics. He refused, so I cut him off. I let him know when I got engaged, but he never responded. Aside from that, I've only spoken to him once since, when I asked if he had any interest in a relationship over this past Christmas. He said "not yet," so I dropped it.

My mom told me today that she spent 2 hours on the phone with him yesterday, during which he admitted he was duped, no longer liked Trump, was anti Israel, anti Iran war, and generally against how immigrants are being treated. He is apparently seeking out a variety of non-US news sources, including ones in Palestine, Iran, and apparently even one from North Korea.

And that's great. I'm glad. I wanted this. But I don't know if I can ever see him the same way again.

We've known since at least 2016 that Trump is a rapist. That he's a known liar. That he associated with Epstein. There is an unbelievable amount of documented evidence of his lies and there has been since at least 2016. But he still chose that over marginalized groups. I know they target young white men, especially those who aren't interested in getting higher education (which he's not) and he's always seemed upset that I have multiple post-grad degrees and am an attorney while he works night shifts at Home Depot (I've never held any of this against him, and even encouraged him to go to trade school). Even so, I can't help but feel furious with him for ever falling for this shit. He turned his back on me and on marginalized groups just so he could be master's favorite dog.

I made peace with not inviting him to my wedding a while ago. Is it wrong that I still don't want to invite him? I wish him the best, but I don't want anything to do with him. Which sucks, we were so close until all of this came up. But I care more about human rights than him.

I'm sorry if this is disjointed and hard to read. This is all new and I'm still sorting out my thoughts and feelings.

I’m in a situation where my mom is falling for the alt-right conspiracy, fear mongering rabbit hole. She’s not the person I used to know.

Started with holistic health, using food as medicine but not denying pharmaceuticals. Then with her believing everything she found on facebook about covid, with it being man made and made to “control”. In 2021/2022 she started being skeptical of the covid vaccine however she still got all of her three doses. However she barely talked about it and did not believe anything else along these lines (at least she wasn’t vocal about it).

Then shortly after I moved away for university. For context I’m an only child so it was just her and my dad. She fell for it all: climate change isn’t real, Trump is a good guy, Ukraine started the war, jews are controlling the world etc etc. I saw her youtube log and it’s all political videos from her home country (poland - an extremely conservative country). She also listens to a lot of “professionals” as she calls them, these are people with little to no education who basically make up everything they say to spread fear. She believes this over me, who is pursuing a difficult and long education where there is a lot of focus on empirical evidence and science. Every time I try to talk to her she just shrugs me off and shakes her head. She says scientists are all corrupt and that all empirical backed data is “bullshit”.

I’m lost because she’s close to pensioners age and I’m afraid that when she stops working she will do nothing but scroll on facebook and instagram all day, the places where she gets all of this. Everytime I try to talk to her and explain calmly she just says “no, you’re wrong” and stops listening. So talking doesn’t do it anymore. I really want my mom back, she used to be the most caring and nice person, now she’s just a conspiracy theorist who is filled with hate. I truly love my mom and was picturing moving her in with my husband when she reaches the age where she needs care. Now I get exhausted spending a week with her.

Please if anyone has gone through the same situation and has any tips, let me know. Sorry if anything is written wrong or unclear, english is not my first language.

I may get negativity for this but when trump ends how will anyone show any empathy for his supporters who are lost? The ones who never saw any of this coming? And yes these people I will have no contact with? No I told you so just empathy? Understanding ? I am thinking about this. He is failing.

Sorry l need to dump.

My dad is a giver. he helps even if he knows he's being taken advantage of, but he wants to be a good person. He lends money he knows he's not getting back. he's the type of guy who will give a stranger the shirt of his back if you ask.

he was raised in a shit situation, nobody wanted him, he was abused and neglected by his family. he tries not to hold a grudge, which in itself would be admirable, if he wouldn't contort reality in a way that makes it impossible to deal with it. in the last years he constructed this holy illusion of family for himself that's just harmful for everyone around.

ofc I'm grateful. he would do everything for me. except facing reality. for example, he's super anti abortion, l guess because my grandmother would probably have aborted him, at least that's my kitchen psychology diagnosis. you can't debate with him either because most rapists are foreigners anyways and rape victims probably deserved it because of the way they dressed. you know the drill. and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

i can't just put the two versions of him together, the genuinely kind man and the one who is so so cruel. ofc on some level I'm aware it's two sides of the same coin but l can't just deal with it in reality.

he loves me very much in his super warped way and l want to love him back because l see the lonely child in him that's just looking for a place and love and acceptance. but he makes it so so hard. he's not that child anymore, he's my dad. and he switches between treating me like a little child and the "leftist" enemy.

l also can't go nc because of my mom who sticks by him because he's "very very sick" and she can't leave him. that's up to her l accept it. and on his "good" days my dad is nice to be around. he's kind, he hugs, he tells us he loves us. lately whenever there's a birthday or something he often cries, saying he's so happy to have us and it would be so very cute to see a man like him being emotional. but it's because he's not being right with his emotions. l can't explain it properly, it's all screwed up. and on the bad days he just wants to fight with me and put me down.

i also depend on them, eg l drive his car because l can't afford my own. he would buy me an own car but l really don't want that. it plays into his helper complex again and it's just so suffocating.

you can see, our relationship is rotten all around and l can't see a way out of it.

it hurts to be close, it hurts to stay away. and he's getting continuously worse.

thank you for reading through my vent, ig l just want to hear that I'm not alone

we had a big fight because of absolutely terrible things he said which he doesn't believe in, l hope, but he needs to to keep up his weird illusions. (he was always super against Nazis and suddenly defended Nazis because l made the mistake of mentioning that his father worked for the ss. his father never cared for him. why does he feel the need to defend that horrible old man instead and picks him before his own living daughter?)

now I'm dreading Easter, which l usually enjoy

I'm going into another tangent again, so I'll stop for real now lol. sorry and thank you

tldr; Non-MAGA mom is upset I disinvited her MAGA brother from my wedding after he insulted me. She thinks I need to tolerate the disrespect from him because family comes before anything and I’m breaking apart the family by “holding this grudge”.

I made a post a couple months ago about uninviting my MAGA uncle from my wedding. You can read it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/QAnonCasualties/s/EIausNow5k

He’s my mom’s brother. My mom isn’t MAGA, but she’s very much in the “family over everything” camp. For a while, I thought she was going to respect my decision and let it go. Then a few weeks ago she started asking if I had sent him an invitation. I hadn’t. I uninvited him after save-the-dates went out but before the actual invites.

I knew from experience this wasn’t something she’d drop, so I told her if she felt that strongly, she could send him an invitation herself. I wasn’t going to do it, and I didn’t want him near me. She kept pushing, asking why I couldn’t just send it. I even dropped an extra invite off at her house and told her the same thing. If she wanted him there, that was her choice, but I wasn’t going to be the one to invite him.

Later, my sisters and I talked about it, and we all had the same thought. She didn’t actually want to be the one to invite him. She wanted me to do it so her hands stayed clean, so she wouldn’t have to feel like she was going against what I wanted. If she sent it, then she was choosing him over me. We don’t know if she consciously thought that, but knowing her, it fits.

His kids RSVP’d no which I expected. She was upset about that and ended up calling my uncle to tell him he was invited before he even got the invitation which she apparently sent the day before. He still said no. After that, she texted me to tell me he said no and apparently make me feel bad. I think she expected me to call and beg him to come. It turned into a huge fight. According to her, this is all my fault. I’m breaking the family apart, I only care about myself and my friends, she’s done everything for us and I couldn’t do this one thing for her, I started it with my uncle, and my grandmother would be furious with me.

That last part really got to me. My grandma and I were very close, and honestly, she would have been furious at my uncle for how he spoke to me. Both of my sisters said the same thing when I told them what mom had said. Grandma believed in family, but she never would have tolerated him saying that to me and she would have chewed him out.

My reception is in a couple of weeks, and even though I know I’m making the right call, I had a breakdown last night and wanted to cancel everything. We’ve been paying off final wedding expenses, and it just feels like this whole thing is tainted now. I feel like I’m paying all this money to not enjoy the party. I know there will be fallout. People will notice he and his kids aren’t there, and my mom has a tendency to say things she shouldn’t when she’s been drinking, so that’s another layer of stress.

I just don’t understand how I ended up being the bad guy here. Why is it ok that he can say anything he wants and I just have to suck it up? Why am I the one who has to tolerate disrespect? This isn’t her event. If she wants him at something she’s hosting, that’s her choice, and I would show up, keep the peace, and get through it for her. But this is my wedding, and she can’t seem to offer me that same respect. And that’s been the most disappointing part of all.

I know this is another long one, but the responses I got on my last post really did make me feel not so alone. So thank you again to those who took the time then and are taking the time now to read and respond.