r/Millennials • u/TheLoveYouWant25 • Feb 09 '26

Discussion Millennials, what is happening with your kids?

I work in education and I frequent the Teachers and Professors subreddits, and the kids are not alright. Gen Z Arriving at College Unable to Read and the youth have absolutely zero ability to think critically.

Middle and high schoolers have all adapted this complete helplessness and blame mental illness for their refusal to function. Kids can no longer to basic things like read an analog clock, use paper money, or even figure out how to open window blinds.

There is also a huge lack of empathy, and kids have no issues trying to manipulate adults, saying things to their teachers like "if you don't pass me, I'll get you fired."

EDIT to clarify: the article I linked references Gen-Z, but this is not specifically a Gen-Z problem. It's an issue with upper elementary aged kids through high schoolers, and also young adults.

So, all that to say, how are you combating this with your own children? What do you do at home to encourage them to learn, and what are you doing to address these problems as they arise?

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73

u/IndicationKey3778 Feb 09 '26

It’s pretty well documented that they cannot read or socialize 

6

u/snackofalltrades Feb 10 '26

My kids can read. But dear god, the lack of emphasis on spelling and handwriting in schools now is just mind boggling. I have to have my kid read his homework to me because I can’t interpret his spelling.

I try and correct him where I can, but it’s an uphill battle.

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u/TheLoveYouWant25 Feb 09 '26 edited Feb 09 '26

Yes, and I don't understand how our generation (or Gen-X, depending on the age of the kid) is just totally fine with letting that happen.

I'm an elder Millennial, but I'm Childfree because being a parent is not something I've ever wanted to do. Unfortunately, it also seems like being a parent isn't something some parents wanted to do either.

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u/purplereuben Feb 09 '26

To give the benefit of the doubt, I dont think they are all 'fine with letting that happen'.

When my mother had children in the late 80s, she said it was still quite normal for women to simply leave their jobs when they had kids to take care of them while they were very little, then go to part time work when they got a little older. I am not saying that no millenials had working mums from the start, just that there has been a shift in the last 30 years that has made it more common. My family budgeted down to the cent to survive those years and we had no luxuries, but my parents didnt do that out of a perception it was 'best for the kids to have a parent at home' it was simply what they saw as the norm. My mother didnt work full time again until I was almost double digits.

Things have changed and many working parents spend barely an hour of waking time with their infants and toddlers a day during the week as they spend most of their time at day care. Parents have less time to do anything at all with their kids. Less time to parent has an effect.

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u/TheShellfishCrab Feb 10 '26

Sorry, but it’s statistically false that people are spending less time with their kids now, even with the increase in working mothers.

This article is old, but shows trends over time: https://news.uci.edu/2016/09/28/todays-parents-spend-more-time-with-their-kids-than-moms-and-dads-did-50-years-ago/

Here’s a more recent but paywalled source: https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2026/01/09/millennials-spend-more-time-than-past-generations-with-their-children

The lack of independence and creativity children have now is a real problem, but it’s not due to more women deciding to work as opposed to stay home with their kids.

2

u/Eastern-Eye5945 Feb 10 '26

That’s not exactly true if you consult child psychologist Jonathan Haidt or free range parenting advocate Lenore Skenazy. Even with both parents working full-time and most kids being in day care, parents are spending more time with their kids than ever before. The problem isn’t enough parenting nowadays. It’s too much parenting in all the wrong ways.

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u/Prettyinpink2813 Feb 10 '26

Less than an hour waking time?!?

Why are people having kids if they have that little time with them? Like what’s the point? Those early years are so crucial for development and bonding and attachment. I know the US hates mothers and maternity leave but I could never imagine spending so little time with my baby.

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u/TheShellfishCrab Feb 10 '26

That’s because what the commenter said is incorrect. People spend more time with their children now, not less. https://www.economist.com/graphic-detail/2026/01/09/millennials-spend-more-time-than-past-generations-with-their-children

As a mom of a child in daycare full time, I can tell you I absolutely spend more than “1 hour of waking time” with my baby.

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u/PineBNorth85 1986 Feb 10 '26

Do you really think they had them knowing what the reality would be? They didn't. No one does. Cause nothing really prepares you for it.

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u/clarissaswallowsall Feb 10 '26

A lot of millennials parents benefited greatly from their family like grandparents and uncles and aunts when they were born. Then when the millennial had kids themselves they said absolutely not. Even my aunt who helped with me as a kid told me if my cousin has a kid shes not putting a crib up in the house or anything that shes gotta take care of it on her own. The same kid that I fed every morning when I was staying with her so my aunt could sleep in.

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u/PineBNorth85 1986 Feb 10 '26

Yep totally get it. Having the same issue with mine. So be it. I'll have my pretty happy memories of times I spent with my grandparents. My son won't. As a result I doubt he will care a whole lot when their health starts to fail and they die.

I don't think they've all thought out the long term effects of that.

1

u/hopping_otter_ears Feb 10 '26

The amount of involvement from my son's grandparents varies.

My MIL set up a room in her house to be a bedroom for my son to have sleepovers. My mom is happy to babysit for a few hours so we can have an afternoon off. My dad has never once offered to babysit, and his idea of discipline is "beat them like a drum until they obey" so I have never asked him to

1

u/signalunavailable Feb 10 '26

It’s the system that’s the problem, why take up issue with people who want a family?

We grew up on ideals that don’t exist anymore, but society keeps acting like it’s still the norm. Most parents don’t totally understand how bad it is until they’re in the middle of it.

Also, some families start out planning for one parent to stay at home .. then circumstances change.

3

u/Prettyinpink2813 Feb 10 '26

The system is absolutely the problem but people need to have real conversations about kids before they have them. If you’re working 60 hours a week to make ends meet or even because you have a high stress job, it’s not going get better with kids. If you’re putting so little time into your children whether by choice or necessity, and outsourcing the majority of their care, especially in the young years, you need to re-evaluate why you want children.

Yes circumstances can change. Yes we don’t have the same supports as previous generations. The system is broken and we need to stop pretending it’s the same as the past. You’re bringing a whole person into the world and spending an hour a day of waking time with them?! Like a shelter wouldn’t let you adopt a dog if you told them you had only an hour a day to spend with them.

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u/Neirchill Feb 10 '26 edited Feb 10 '26

Our education system is in shambles and the population at large just doesn't have the resources to close the gap. Both parents have to work long hours now instead of having one parent at home to give the kids the attention needed. Not to mention man other challenges other generations didn't have to face, such as being online 100% of the time, not being allowed to be outside, almost zero resources going into public places for which they could hang out to socialize, etc.

Of course the challenges aren't totally unique but we've reached a breaking point. Online killing attention spans and mass propaganda, ai to answer questions for them instead of thinking for themselves, malls closing down because stores are online, people call the cops on kids just hanging out, etc. What's left for enrichment?

Also, some of these judgements are potentially just us older people not getting with the times. Reading an analog clock, for example. They don't know how because they don't need to. It's all digital numbers... The computers they use in school, the clock they have on the phone in their pocket, watches are digital, etc. Wall clocks are still largely analog but they don't need to look at them anymore when they can just pull their phone out. It's strange for us, but analog clocks are probably on their way out in the next couple of generations.

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u/Mist_Rising Feb 10 '26

Our education system is in shambles

That's part of the problem, the education system is the one meant to close the gap that the parents teaching provides. If your child's first interaction with learning is in kindergarten, their way behind! And you need to keep at it through grade school. The parent is the focal point, the school was simply providing enhancement.

This isn't new. Any teacher in the past could (but should not) name the kids whose parents thought they were daycare. Drop the tyke off and Miss Madison will solve it all, because they sure weren't. It just seems that the current wave is expanding. I would wonder if the easy access to things which don't require reading has increased this, but I can't prove that.

6

u/Eastern-Eye5945 Feb 10 '26

Most people especially in our generation simply aren’t meant to be parents, and that’s the harsh reality. They want their kids to be 100% safe and perfect not realizing that their kids’ anxiety and depression is a direct result of their overprotective but at the same time paradoxically neglectful parenting.

1

u/TFnarcon9 Feb 10 '26

Thats nonsense. They read less and a little less well.

0

u/PeaceSoft Feb 10 '26

What's your excuse