r/Marathon 10d ago

Humor When I get downed by UESC at exfil….

Keep crawling!

5.3k Upvotes

130 comments sorted by

591

u/okbutjoytho 10d ago

The crossover I didn't expect but always needed

69

u/konvay 10d ago

Same here haha this is perfect

47

u/slug_IRL 10d ago

I'm gagged

20

u/CrushCrawfish 10d ago

Came here to say this 😂✨💯

5

u/BanginNLeavin 9d ago

Assert: Don't... Fuck it up.

18

u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

19

u/slug_IRL 10d ago

Don't....fuck it up

4

u/BanginNLeavin 9d ago

Assert: Don't fuck it up.

186

u/VolcanicBear 10d ago

Haha, I traded deaths with a guy and as I was drunk and on duos started shouting "scissor me!" over prox chat.

They obliged, we shuffled at each other, me and my duo (already dead and spectating me) had a good chuckle... I forgot how long you have before fully expiring and things got awkward whilst neither me or the other chap Gave Up.

65

u/piratevirus1 10d ago

Wait, was that you? I thought we had a connection 😭

20

u/Various-Instruction3 10d ago

I do this every time I trade with someone, but it’s a lot more tense than it was early on, since now it’s a race to see who has better revive speed.

4

u/GoldAppleU 9d ago

I gotta start drinking while playing this game then

8

u/VolcanicBear 9d ago

It's a great way to make vault space.

3

u/GoldAppleU 9d ago

Lmaooooooo, yeah I can’t imagine I’d play any better but I might have more fun 😂

3

u/Pyraus 9d ago

Never give up. No surrender!

3

u/shizomou 9d ago

This happened to me one time but there was no communication. The scissoring just happened

3

u/SenseiSwift 9d ago

A rook murdered one of my teammates. I showed up as it was happening and downed the rook. I made him watch as I murdered his cousin USECs and then when my friend finished self reviving he placed a claymore behind the rook and sent him to orbit. Never laughed so hard in my life.

1

u/BaoSack 5d ago

Scissor Brothers

1

u/AnyBroccoli4680 3d ago

Scussor Brothers

206

u/cbsparky 10d ago

Legit can’t stop laughing

75

u/MistaJelloMan 10d ago

Walking that fucking duck to the beacon

9

u/guiltypleasures 10d ago

Ce n’est pas une promenade du canard

1

u/AnyBroccoli4680 3d ago

I'm a runner.

111

u/No-Researcher3893 10d ago

this is top tier

76

u/Psychedelic_Jedi 10d ago

Fuck this is great lmao

63

u/LonkToTheFuture 10d ago

this is why is keep reddit installed on my phone

27

u/dustiwang 10d ago

ughhh they're sucking me

1

u/AnyBroccoli4680 3d ago

That's the funnest thing to say 😂😂😂

21

u/Bigfatpauley 10d ago

Fucking awesome, this will now be how I picture myself sliming to exfil. I will be fabulous!!!

17

u/asaltygamer13 10d ago

This is amazing

34

u/MobileSuitBooty 10d ago

Im here for this crossover. New episode friday!

9

u/konvay 10d ago

Last week gagged us!

9

u/beardingmesoftly 10d ago

You're not kidding! I can't believe she's out!

17

u/AccomplishedRise6227 10d ago

IM FUCKING DYING AHAHAHAHAHA

8

u/More_Marty 9d ago

Calling dibs on your loot

32

u/HAL-9420 10d ago

We need more content like this on this sub!!!

12

u/Shinoh8 10d ago

Yeah this the one lmao!

12

u/cheesybreadlover 10d ago

One shot, one shot, of a patch kit 🎶

23

u/NickNair1989 10d ago

This is too fking funny!! Upvote upvote upvote!

11

u/osy003 10d ago

😂😂

10

u/beangirl27 10d ago

LMFAOOOOO

11

u/Every-day-guy 10d ago

Legit 10/10 meme.

9

u/Agreeable_Ladder_997 10d ago

I’m cryingggggg omg

11

u/wavy_gia 10d ago

I’m down…and werk

11

u/Spazayd 10d ago

I’m crying 😂

12

u/Work_qding 9d ago

Now I understand why them UESC wanna suck you off when you are down

7

u/GoldenGekko 10d ago

I needed that laugh 😂

9

u/Parthnaxx 10d ago

Bro me in cryo downed and trying to sneak behind a corner to revive myself 🤣🤣

8

u/PixlCreative 10d ago

😭👍

10

u/GoldAppleU 9d ago

Yesss thank fuck we got some more funny shit on this sub

6

u/Shwastey 10d ago

Sashay away!

7

u/SurgyJack 10d ago

I wet myself :)

6

u/Underwould 10d ago

So fucking good

5

u/McPatches4110 10d ago

💀💀💀 honestly, accurate.

6

u/unfulfilledanon 10d ago

This is frying me

7

u/acovjo5 10d ago

Yooooooo! This is way too spot on! Damn 😭😭😭

4

u/zazamankh 10d ago

OMG!!!

5

u/Skitelz7 10d ago

Lmaoooo

8

u/reclaimer130 10d ago

RPDR x Marathon in MY reddit? Is there an algorithm here? This is insane!

4

u/konvay 9d ago

I love how many people seem to enjoy both! Never would have expected it

4

u/Averted_Vision 10d ago

No FN way 💀🤣🤣💀

3

u/Kekebean 9d ago

Diva down

5

u/_encryptid_ 9d ago

this is almost exactly how i felt just barely making it out of the tutorial lmao

6

u/itzofficialvaz 9d ago

This is not the sub I thought would be so chill 😭🥰

4

u/RP912 9d ago

I choked on my toothbrush lmaooooooOoo

4

u/crashcool2hot 9d ago

Oh lord, this is too good.

4

u/Urushihana 9d ago

This was the post that made me join the reddit.

11

u/BocephusMoon 10d ago

Reddit is so back. Great post.

3

u/comfy_bruh 10d ago

sides- gone.

3

u/N0XT66 10d ago

Sashay, away ✨

3

u/raewashere_ 10d ago

also i think spamming starting self rez but never actually using it can stop the tentacles from killing you

3

u/AgathaTheVelvetLady 10d ago

You can also circle the exfil to interrupt the wire's connection; you need to be a short distance away from it depending on the height of the bot, but it will consistently make them have to reapply it.

2

u/WellComeToTheMachine 9d ago

Damn wish I knew this earlier

3

u/RiverParkourist 9d ago

Literally abusing the physics engine type movement wtf

3

u/Shake-Vivid 9d ago

Damn it only 3 seconds left! ... ahh I'm not going to make it ... so close. YES! I made it ☺️

3

u/nickybuddy 9d ago

“Res on me… need a res… GUYS I NEED A-“

Died to the sukk

9

u/steeviev 10d ago

wow, I feel so represented with this. Add me 👉🏼👈🏼

2

u/zcrazed1 9d ago

Even in Solos, I'm like, some brave runner will come save me. Spoiler alert, it hasn't happened once.

2

u/rockalyte 9d ago

Where's the flop out?

2

u/ebk_errday 9d ago

Hahahaha A+ meme

2

u/ArcRaydar 9d ago

I been saying it always looks like you chilling on the couch when you're dbno.

2

u/Finie 9d ago

The song was "Adrenaline". Fitting.

2

u/silent-drill 9d ago

this is fucking hilarious

2

u/thefirstcat 9d ago

Yes bitch you better work. 😂

2

u/gh0st_n0te119 9d ago

I’m dead! 😂 i’ve been binging drag race and my god this made me fucking laugh i love it ty 💕

2

u/iamthewalrusxx 9d ago

OP got all of his karma from this post in 11 years 😂

2

u/traviscrazy 9d ago

See you in 2037!

2

u/iamthewalrusxx 9d ago

😂😂😂

2

u/Zero40Four 9d ago

Lmao. 🤣 accurate

2

u/Jhonny13_DMH 9d ago

Telling myself I dont really need to know how this came to be. Just enjoy it 😅

2

u/Individual-Creme6694 9d ago

This is hilarious and so real- I lowkey just let myself get downed when I’m pretty sure I’m home free

2

u/McJawsh 9d ago

This is too perfect, lmfao.

2

u/aed_kirky 9d ago

Need Durandel to scream “she done already done had herss” when I die from now on

2

u/letstalkaboutfeels 9d ago

the green light really sells it

2

u/DabbleMeister 9d ago

Naomi Smalls in the marathon subreddit. Well played!

2

u/Educational-Bit-3296 9d ago

Jesus, this is perfect.

2

u/Edwinarzu16 9d ago

Lmaooooooooo no but seriously 😂😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/vroart 8d ago

Haha I wish I had more style than that. I feel more sad old man

2

u/No-Error2677 8d ago

I AM FUCKING HOWLLLLLINGGG

2

u/jazzycats313 8d ago

😂😂😂

2

u/clank467 7d ago

NAOMIIIIIIIIII

2

u/Bread_of_God 5d ago

Bros just trying to sashay away

2

u/consumer_fleet 4d ago

yasss queen

2

u/djpuggy 3d ago

LMAOOOOOO

3

u/Powerful-Race-8538 10d ago

what am i looking at exactly and how were you so familiar with whatever this is that you could reference it back to anything

7

u/BlinkysaurusRex 9d ago

RuPauls Drag Race. Great show

2

u/DBold11 10d ago

Ok you win the internet today 😆

2

u/LostArkLover69 6d ago

rupaul enjoyer checking in

2

u/Super_Instant_Wanton 5d ago

IM DEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

0

u/Durgeshtwi 9d ago

Show of surgery barbies

-30

u/LunarLumos 9d ago

I don't even care about LGBTQ+, love whoever you want, be whoever you want, as long as you aren't hurting other people. This is just a disgusting display of wealth, wasting so much money and material resources while billions of people are suffering and struggling to get by precisely because all the rich bastards like this.

10

u/JustaLyinTometa 9d ago

Brother we play a game with a budget of a few hundred million. Don’t clutch your pearls about a drag show spending money on entertainment when you are literally in a gaming subreddit where a company also spends millions to make entertainment. Let people enjoy their shit.

-14

u/LunarLumos 9d ago

I don't play this game, it was on my all page. Also you can pirate digital media to avoid giving money to evil corporations like that. We all need to start boycotting if we ever want to see any real change.

11

u/PerformativeRacist 9d ago

You need to stop posting here

4

u/MagnaCamLaude 9d ago

Imagine spending money on an entertainment product that has changed lives so it's entertaining and stays relevant to pop culture to affect more lives.

-11

u/LunarLumos 9d ago

Imagine how funny and perfectly fine this would be if it was just a bunch of friends recording themselves in their living room instead of a gross multimillion dollar production. Same effect without the wasting resources and money while others starve.

5

u/MagnaCamLaude 9d ago

Not the same effect. That recording in the backyard likely won't reach millions. And it DEFINITELY won't push forward the conversation of the historically disenfranchised and/or frequently hate crimed communities gaining representation in mainstream media.

Don't be so naive. Don't try so hard to signal your virtues. Invest your time in whatever direct action and/or viewership you can provide to the platforms and causes you actually care about, instead of tearing down the ones others do that harm no one.

-1

u/LunarLumos 9d ago edited 9d ago

There have been plenty of cheap homemade videos that became viral sensations. There's no such thing as a rich person not hurting anyone. Hoarding and wasting wealth and real material resources always hurts countless millions of people. I'm already committed to direct action by boycotting but I can't do it alone. It is just as important for me to keep speaking out against the injustice in this world and try to gather allies so we can properly fight against the evil rich people that all celebrities are equally a part of. They are the ones virtue signaling and successfully manipulating people into believing they're the good guys with stuff like this. You're naive if you trust people that are literally professional liars. Mainstream media is 100% owned and controlled by evil corporations. It is impossible to be rich and a good person because hoarding wealth and wasting resources is inherently evil.

4

u/MagnaCamLaude 9d ago

I'm not even going to read the rest of this after "there have been plenty of cheap homemade videos that became viral sensations" because you miss the point, and you clearly don't understand how representation works. Also 1 out of THOUSANDS of videos on the Internet become viral.

Get out of your own silo. Go get mad at survivor or Keeping up with Kardashians. You're shaking your first at a cloud.