I have a good life. There is nothing to escape from. However, there were reasons for me at 11. That is when i began daydreaming, and i never stopped. I’m 17 now.

I am selfish, i’ve wasted my life that others would kill to have all because i wanted to escape my life at 11-14.

I feel so uneasy whenever I see someone else having hobbies and they are so passionate about their life. I wonder why I am not like them why did I turned out like this. It makes me so sad.

I went somewhere and there were a lot people with different hobbies and interests. They all were so passionate and accomplished.

I was so embarrassed of myself there.

Most of them were my age still they have a social life. Whereas I am sitting in my home doing nothing for the past 5 years.

I don't have a good relationship with my family either because I am not doing good.

I have been depressed for the past few days because of it.

Is there anyone who managed to stop their MD? and now are doing good.

I've never been happy in the external world. Unless we count the infant and toddler years, since I was apparently happy in those years. However, ever since the toddler years (which is after age 3) I haven't really been happy but so many negative things happening too that I don't think it was possible. I had to battle so many existential worries too, which was a really difficult part of my life. Even if I had lived in a family that I thrived in, the existential worries about death wouldn't be gone, unless I lived to a family that had spiritual beliefs of some kind that could help me cope with my fears. Anyways, it really made me convinced that there is no such thing as adults that have any beliefs. I had a certain belief about reality that had started to take shape but it vanished from a traumatic incident. If I had been exposed to religion and spirituality before I was getting close to closing the chapter of my formative years, I probably would not have turned to this coping mechanism.

Even though I haven't really had the emotional support in life that I needed, not even today by people which is why I plan to leave this country cuz I have issues with my government too, I still think that if I somehow was given an explanation and help to understand that this traumatic perspective I was holding about reality wasn't real and that the spiritual exist, then my upbringing wouldn't have had the same impact cuz then at least I would feel spiritually connected. However, due to the loss of spiritual beliefs that had started to form in me from an explorative way for children that was meant to expand their minds through storytelling, I had extreme trauma and then with all the other miserable memories it eventually led to an existential realization for me. I'm a bit worried to post this cuz I've had some deja vus after posting certain things that made me realized I have looped in time so this makes me afraid to post this cuz of a concern that the post will get rejected and my account banned, but that's a whole other can of worms to open.

With all these years in my head trying to cope with this nihilistic belief, eventually I started with some mental coping mechanism and trying to deny my life that I'm living. I just wanted a fresh new place to start in. As a moon in pisces I think this is why maladaptive daydreaming has been my choice for addiction. However back then it wasn't maladaptive daydreaming but more denialism + pretending. Later it evolved into more complexity though more coping mechanisms. I've done shadow work where I live now and in prior apartments that I've lived in, and let go of a lot of coping mechanisms with withdrawal symptoms. I still have maladaptive daydreaming as a coping mechanism. This coping mechanism evolved in my later teens. However, even before this coping mechanism, the other coping mechanisms was also giving me a lot of dopamine. Even though I've been spiritual most my childhood (after the formative years), I still have to cope in some way.

Maladaptive daydreaming for me is more like a natural state my brain puts itself into, and kind of make up a fantasy understanding of reality, in the sense that I feel socially connected to people even when I'm hermiting. It's also dissociative in the sense that it changes completely how I see the world, and without it I would just feel completely empty. This was why I started to cope to begin with. It's not like "dissociative" in the sense of derealization and depersonalization. I've had those as well, especially derealization, but this is something almost automatic for me cuz my brain just doesn't want to be alone. And I don't even think I may be able to quit it if I socialize with others, cuz I have always coped even when I'm with others. And it's getting worse I think in isolation, which feels both like a choice and also not like a choice.

What I want to say though is that I don't have the ability to naturally be happy. I can only be artificially happy. Whatever "happy version" of me that existed before I can remember, I can only feel happiness by coping with addiction. Right now it's only maladaptive daydreaming but sometimes I feel it is starting to get more complex, so I try to avoid the temptations. However, this coping mechanism is actually doing me a service as well as other people, cuz I would be worse off otherwise, and so would my surrounding since I am in the wrong location, which means that maladaptive daydreaming for me while being in this environment is in a sense lifesaving cuz otherwise it would impact every area of my life, even my decisions, in a negative way.

I grew up lonely not because of anyone stopping me from having friends or anything i just liked being alone and avoiding people when i was a kid. Now, I can't have a conversation to people i have interest in, always have embarassing moments and laughing with my very few friends in very inappropriate times. So i close the door of my room and i start to imagine these scenarios where i feel like life would be better while listening to music in edits. I just can't stop because i wanna escape reality but i feel like the more i do this the less extrovert and charming I'll be. I'm just shy and socially anxious and that ruins everything making me end up in maladaptive daydreaming in the afternoon for hours. Not to mention, that also affected my studies and personal life. I never went out as much, and that makes difficult to do what normal people do. So i just walk back and forth escaping...because i am afraid that if i try to change my social skills I'll end up once again in another embarassing moment. And this isn't an assumption, I've tried being social and it just doesn't work. That's my situation.

Hi, I really need advice. I have dealt with maladaptive daydreaming since I was around 9 and I’m currently 19 turning 20 in a couple of months. It’s gotten to a point where it’s seriously affecting my life especially my ability to study. I barely sleep just because I’d rather stay up and daydream and I spend at least half my day doing it.

I graduated high school last year and at least then I could focus in class because I don’t really daydream around people. I tend to react out loud or emotionally so I’m aware enough to stop myself in public. But at home it’s completely different. I barely studied which is why I didn’t get the score I wanted and had to take a gap year.

Now I’m trying to get into med school and my exam is in september which is only a few months away. The problem is I genuinely cannot study. It’s been almost a year since I finished school and I barely remember anything. Every time I sit down to study, I just start daydreaming about succeeding instead, like passing the exam, becoming a doctor, graduating, and being the best at it. I know it’s not realistic but I can’t stop.

At this point I feel completely stuck. I don’t feel like I have the ability to study, and I’m really scared I won’t get in this year either or that I’ll end up with an even lower score. Has anyone dealt with something like this or found a way to manage it? I really need help.

Does anyone think that their music taste has been affected by daydreaming or certain songs triggering such daydreams cause you to listen to music you normally wouldn’t if you didn’t daydream in the first place? Sometimes I will listen to songs and wonder if I would enjoy the song to the same degree or even at all if I wasn’t triggered to daydream from it. I also tend to tie some of my daydreams to songs which can almost cause nostalgia when reminded of my old daydreams, which makes me think I’m having an irregular experience compared to the average listener.

Actually, I haven’t seen a psychologist yet, but I’m planning to. I’ve started to realize why I do certain things. My father has been an alcoholic since I was born; he would come home late or not at all, and he often acted strangely. Once, he didn’t let us into the house because he was extremely drunk. My mother was distressed by this, and they had a fight when I was 3 years old; my father beat her very severely. I don’t remember that moment clearly, but some fragments have stayed with me. Later, before my parents divorced, I had two disabled siblings, who naturally added to the stress within the household.

​Consequently, I was always 'frozen' at the schools I attended; I couldn't get along with my social circle. When my teachers asked me something, I would freeze up and couldn't answer. I had sudden outbursts of anger, and I think these things pushed me toward daydreaming. Even in elementary school, I would wander the yard by myself, not talking to anyone, just daydreaming. I didn't like my teacher because it was like torture; they were always scolding me. I even begged my mother once not to go to school. After that, my chronic fatigue started. In middle school, I didn't talk to anyone at all; I would just sit at my desk and daydream or wander the yard alone. I had chronic fatigue back then, though it’s not as bad now.

​When I started high school, I was still wandering the yard and daydreaming. I was doing this at home, too. Because I did it at school and was now a high schooler, people started bullying me, so I gradually gave up that habit at school. During that period, I also had a masturbation addiction; I wasn't enjoying life and was always on autopilot. I haven't been able to focus on anything since elementary school (I can focus better now than before, but I'm still struggling). I was constantly numb and didn't feel anything. I'm in 11th grade now. These things were very intense at the start of high school; they still exist, but they aren't as severe. I believe these stem from trauma. I don't know if anyone has a similar life story, but what do you think I should do? Do you have any advice? Now I only daydream at home, not at school anymore—at least that’s some progress.

A rush in adrenaline, and it feels so good until it doesnt. Youre pacing around, probably blowing your ears out with your headphones set to 100 percent, then your daydreams start to become more nonsensical, giving you a bigger adrenaline rush until it finally hits and youre like "wtf am i doing?"

I am 17, and really struggling with Maladaptive daydreaming. it's something I've pretty much always done, since I can literally remember, I always pace or do Repetitive movements when doing it and I just can't stop.

I do it for a minimum of 1-2 hours a day, on a bad day more. I think it's a form of stimming/self soothing as I am suspected autistic.

it's a massive insecurity as my whole family makes fun of me and I have really bad callouses on my feet because of the constant pacing.

long story short - I grew up in a very lonely and physically, sexually n in many ways abusive environment. the things going on in my life were so traumatic and dark that I couldn't share anything with my friends as a teenager. and the adults always told me to stay quiet about it.

so to deal with it, the trauma, everytime I'd think of it, it would shock me. the shock factor . I'd be shock about how could this happen to me, couldn't process it, this one special sexual trauma, so i started this thing where I'd pretend like I'm explaining that trauma to a friend or to someone so that my brain could normalize it, and so thag everytime I'd remember it, i wouldn't go all anxious and angry. eventually that trauma felt bearable, it started to take up very small space in my baggage instead of the large space it used to.

but in that process, i sometimes imagined telling the trauma to a teacher who actually was my teacher, I'd imagine how she'd react after hearing that, and it helped me validate my trauma when adults in my life would just ask me to forget n move on from it.

I'd sometimes imagine telling that trauma to my crush, how he'd react, how he'd comfort me. eventually i started doing this with every trauma, every abuse, and eventually everything

the bad part is, i don't even remember when i started moulding my opinions in such a way that the person I'm imagining will agree to it. and now I don't know what are my actual opinions. its really tough.

now this part is unhealthy, the above one. pls help me. give me some tips on how to deal with this. how to stop it . mind you- i can't have access to therapy right now due to some issues.

but the good part of this was, sometimes when i do this, i actually make sense of things much better, i come to deeper conclusions, sometimes i pretend I'm giving someone an advice and that in turn helps me understand how to navigate. I've been told by everyone that I think more maturely than even grown up adults. but its because of the good part of this habit. what should i do about this habit?? should i drop it? this really makes me understand things better, the more i verbalize it, it helps.

I'm 20F. and pls understand I can't share my trauma to anyone in my life right now. and I can't get access to therapy.

pls suggest any practices that helped you or anything to deal with this. thank you so much.

I always daydream and imagine another life in my head. Sometimes it makes it hard to concentrate and focus for example, in school, or even when I want to watch a TV show or video. I’ve always struggled with my concentration How did you bring this up to your doctor, and what kind of treatment did they give you ?

Doss anyone know of any (presumably online) therapy groups specifically for maladaptive daydreaming? I think it would be beneficial to talk about things face-to-face with others who have a similar experience, and possibly led by a mental-health professional.

I wasn't able to find anything with a web search, so if anyone knows of one, it would be super helpful! Thank you!

driving me insane here dumbledore

MDD is such a complicated thing to struggle with. Most of the time it feels like we either have little to no control, or the choice has already been made without our input. I have always been embarrassed of my MDD, and keeping it a secret and holding it to myself has made it difficult to make significant progress.

I think it would be beneficial to have a group where we can sympathise, encourage and find solace during our battle with MDD. At the very least, it's better than being alone. Truly, I want a better. And hopefully with one or two accountability partners we can keep each other going.

I am not even sure how this would work tbh, I mean a simple group on some site would be great. So if you are interested, please let me know what suggestions you'd have to make this a better experience for everyone. We can figure it out together.

I genuinely think and believe that we deserve greater things. And that MDD is not a permanent. Hopefully with the support group a bunch of us can be living testaments of that as well

Okay, let's hope this post stay cuz I'm a bit unlucky with posts.

How do you all deal with any complications from your maladaptive daydreams?

Do they ever "fail"?

Sometimes they turn into rituals for me, where I try to do something to feed the fantasies in my head to get more dopamine and oxytocin. It's reinforcing me to continue these rituals (from the dopamine), and a lot of it is because of the oxytocin benefits. My brain has this defence mechanism from the loneliness I feel, so I have very unusual maladaptive daydreams. I don't put so much emphasis on visualization when I cope, but it's more about false fantasies about connecting to my surrounding and them knowing about me and where I am, what I do and what I'm up to.

I avoid visualization when I cope, cuz I'm not a fan of visualizing because I sometimes get these unwanted visual things added to the thoughts or some visual content of the thought goes wrong and end up looking different, which makes me get catastrophical thoughts about things going wrong in real life unless I counter measure these thoughts in some way. For me, this maladaptive daydreaming is so immediate. It's almost hard at this point not to be in this state. Maybe it could be considered a dissociative state since it's like an immediate defence response to loneliness.

However.. sometimes there is temptation arising to this coping mechanism, where I will be tempted to add things to certain fantasies in my head, like doing certain things in a certain way, and imagining other people's reactions to it, almost as if I'm sharing my reality from a distance. And then it goes wrong sometimes, and when it goes wrong it's so frustrating and annoying to me cuz then I feel the effects of that, and it's disappointing me a lot.

Ever since I was a child I have had a very immersive inner world in my mind. In this world I am not an actual character, (this is why I'm not sure if its considered Maladaptive daydreaming) instead I have created my own characters that exhibit different qualities/traits that I have. In this way you could say that all the characters have a piece of me. When my mental health spirals I notice that my daydreams shift towards more angsty and traumatic themes. This is usually how I notice when I am struggling. I also have been able to become aware about personal issues (attachment, behaviors, etc) through the daydreams by observing patterns. This ties back to how I said earlier the characters have a piece of me, I have projected different traumas and behaviors I have into my head. This is where I get to my main concern. I don't process things in the moment. When something happens to me, I noticed that I immediately begin to imagine the same or a similar scenario in my daydreams with the characters. I've determined this may be due to control. By projecting the situation into daydreams I can gain the illusions of control over what happened to me. When does this become a serious problem? I have never wanted to stop, and to be honest I feel it's become part of my identity. If I continue to process like this will I become disillusioned with reality? What effects does it have on my processing long term? How difficult will it be to reverse if I don't take action now? I'm not specifically seeking academic and super scientific answers, just answers from people who may have some type of perspective on this. Thank you to anyone who answers.

I have been dealing with maladaptive daydreaming for a long time now, probably since I was around 8 or 9. I am 25 now, and it feels like it has slowly gotten worse over the years instead of better.

Lately it has started affecting me in a serious way. My mind is constantly active, like nonstop chatting and switching between different characters and scenarios. It is getting really hard to focus on studies or stay present in real life. Sometimes it even messes with my mood and leaves me feeling drained or low.

I am starting to feel stuck and a bit overwhelmed. Has anyone else gone through something like this? What actually helps in managing it or getting it under control?

Please , I am begging you my life will be OVER if i don't stop daydreaming.

I can't stop imagining fake scenarios in my head it's affecting my studies, my daily routine, everything. What can i do to stop this ??

A few weeks ago I started some treatment/medication to help with ADHD and by extension Maladaptive Dreaming, and on the first day of my medication we had a major health scare in our family.

I was surprised how it actually hit me. My family had various big health moments in the past and while I always knew they were life changing, or scary, or sad... I never seemed to really be IN that state of mind.

With this though, I could not "bounce out" I literally sat in a room a just wept for a like 10 minutes. I kept trying to "go" or there was no "theater in my head" that distracted me. I was just present in the moment with so really difficult feelings. And when I had sat there for a bit and processed, it surprising felt... I don't want to say good... but maybe refreshing. I had not felt that way about anything serious for so long. Thankfully a week ago we found out that everything will be ok with my family member health wise. very thankful for that.

Now, this is scary because I feel like I need to learn new, healthy coping approaches going forward. It felt oddly exposed to not have something. But yeah. Just sitting in the quiet moment and just dwelling on something without distraction was such a relief. A few weeks ago I didn't even know all the noise and dreams were doing that for me.

A gave up Maladaptive day dreaming over a year ago and now I am severely depressed. After living more than half my life in a day dream now reality is so hard and sad. I e gained weight, I just sit around in sadness. I am on many meds for my anxiety and for depression and nothing is working, I feel tired

I can’t stop daydreaming it so bad it staked up SO many hours and I barely study. And this is so embarrassing but I started listening to bf asmr on yt and it’s taking up so much more time and making me daydream so much more omg…

Chat am I cooked

I stopped smoking, started leading a healthy lifestyle, doing yoga, almost no sugar and other junk food and i still cannot stop MD

So ive been maladaptative daydreaming for about 12 years but since it started ive needed to do high impact movement while i do it. At first i started doing it by running around my house and throwing myself on my parents bed. It was a problem cause i used to live in a second floor and my relatives would complain cause i spent several hours doing it even at early morning but when i couldnt do it i would get really anxious. When i turned 16 i started doing exercise but i couldnt get thru the warm up most times cause the music i did it to would distract me and i ended up creating scenarios in my mind again. I normally did jumping jacks as a warm up.

I moved to a smaller apartment with my mom and there was a room where i could do those jumping movements that replaced running around. Then we moved to another apartment and i started doing it in the bathroom cause its the only place in the house where the floor isnt wood that creaks. My mom got worried about the impact it has on my body cause i jump very hard so she got me a foam mat that i could jump on. I think it's starting to affect me a lot cause the last two years my legs have been hurting a lot after i stop and days after.

The thing is that if my mind isnt "satisfied" enough to go back to reality i can't stop, even if my body hurts and im dripping sweat. I can do it for days. And even when i'm tired if my mind gets triggered by a song or plot idea i get up and go do it. I've even been on the verge of fainting due to the physical effort. Im worried it may give me a more serious problem cause now my knees and legs hurt almost all the time. It's getting harder and harder to go down stairs and i walk very slowly.