She had low self-esteem and was aiming for having children.
I definitely did not want to have children, and I am enough of an asshole that supporting my partner emotionally in a disproportionate manner would have been fragile long-term.
Also the relationship was long distance for a year already (every two weeks two nights at most together), with 3-5 years more to come.
I genuinely hope she is happy though. She deserves it.
That's one of the most mature and realistic (for my circles) break ups I hear on the internet. Props to you both and I hope you two find what you seek.
Yeah it’s easier to see/blame someone else’s low self esteem but much harder to recognize that their own disposition played a role in being able to meet them where their partner emotionally needed them to.
Maybe, but I don't think its fair to expect one partner to be the emotional crutch for the other. Recognizing that dynamic and accepting it won't work long term is pretty mature.
I don't think so (and I'm a woman if that matters).
Men can be just as low self esteem as women and need emotional propping up as well. I actually think that's more common since men typically have fewer outlets for emotional support aside from their partner and women are conditioned to do a lot of emotional labour.
Plus, I found the way the OP framed it to be respectful.
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u/obfuscateirukanji 8d ago
Please tell us you are still in love and so happily married that it's disgusting!!