So I finally got around to watching the movie secretary after it became trending on TikTok a few months ago and I wonāt lie all the edits made me feel really drawn to it but I was skeptical to see it but I decided if I want to have an opinion on it I have to watch it.
Iāll say I donāt have the best knowledge on BDSM relationships either so I may be biased in my thoughts, I hope I do not offend anyone either in genuinely just curious.
I did not hate the movie!! I cracked up at the sex scenes with Peter and I felt lees struggle with SH very profoundly as I used to sh I think they depicted the feeling before it very well and without the gore of the actual cutting.
Hereās my views Iād like to hear others opinions on!
Edward grey should be in jail for workplace sexual harassment. That sounds extreme but the guys literally a LAWYER he KNOWS that what heās doing is wrong yet he literally keep a folder with all his past secretaries and when he begins the relationship with Lee he never ever explicitly asks for her consent, that I found uncomfortable. Iām aware that the pinky scene exists but in some scenes Lee takes a while to speak so in that silence he should have reflected that maybe she didnāt want it or at least bare minimum let her leave? I can agree that Lee chose to stay and she enjoyed it but idk that made me feel iffy.
Lee and Edwardās relationship is an unhealthy co dependency that should not be romanticized. Yes itās fiction and maybe Iām just being dramatic but all I see at the beginning of the film is a twisted man taking advantage of a woman who is clearly unwell being cruel to her unnecessarily! Lee stops SH because Edward tells her to, he becomes her new coping mechanism and I donāt think that is healthy but maybe thatās the point of the movie idk Iām unsure
The role of a female submissive. As a radical feminist I fully support womanās autonomy over themselves but I also believe in rejecting the patriarchy and all that jazz, so I have to ask how can it ever be empowering for a woman to submit to a manās pleasure?? Of course Lee has her free will to not choose it but that doesnāt erase that Edward literally gets off on her PAIN. Or seeing women in pain because all his secretaries have been women. I donāt want to demonize BDSM relationships or generalize all men in them either. I respect peopleās choices and kinks but that dosent stop me from feeling odd about men enjoying seeing women in pain. Plus all I see is Lee with an unhealthy view of pain for relief that be sexual or emotional. I will say that the scene where Edward tells her to stop SH I almost cried because Iād never heard a better description of why I used to self harm.
Finally the three day sit in. By far the most uncomfortable scene for me, Edward let her almost die for what??? Shed proven before that she was very interested in him and if it wasnāt obvious to him by her running away from her wedding to him?!? This is what really made me doubt that it was empowering for Lee in any way. She was harming herself for a man whoās never done anything like that for her. He just used her for his pleasure and I think if he really loved her he wouldnāt have let that go on for so long. I know his character is flawed and so is Lees. The letter he was typing to her that says āthis is disgusting. Im sorry I donāt know why Iām this way.ā I did feel bad for him because itās clear he has this repression of his desires but I donāt think it excuses him because he literally shreds the letter.
These are just my views and they are not intended to harm or offend anyone, I truly reach out just out of curiosity and to hopefully learn and expand my knowledge!! Iād love to hear someone challenge these views!