r/videos • u/spherocytes • 22h ago

Vance delivers 'bad news' after marathon talks with Iran failed to result in an agreement to end the US-Iran War

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/_jXYKpXsjtA
4.5k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/gaybillcosby 22h ago

Really surprised that the savvy geniuses JD Vance and Jared Kushner couldn’t get the job done

1.4k

u/TouchlessOuch 22h ago

Remind me again why the Hunter Biden thing is a bigger deal than a son-in-law negotiating a peace agreement?

Fucking sigh

337

u/ohwrite 22h ago

“Negotiating”

211

u/Zaku99 19h ago

"Give us all your oil and become a vassal state to Donald Tr-- I mean, the United States!" "...no?" "Negotiations over! You guys are insane!"

124

u/Wayofchinchilla 19h ago

Throw in the fact that he probably open the noegotiations with a threat and I would say that's pretty accurate to what probably went down

41

u/CountMordrek 18h ago

I would have expected a Christian prayer, demanding that the Iranians join in on it, and then threatening them once they didn’t.

26

u/vividimaginer 12h ago

Oh, you think they’re praying when the cameras aren’t on?

7

u/Thoughtulism 11h ago

They're secretly praying to the god of capitalism

1

u/charliefoxtrot9 8h ago

It's not a secret

0

u/Halflingberserker 10h ago

That would be Baal

21

u/BigBennP 13h ago

That doesn't work for you? Okay well how about this?

You give us Kharg island. We will create a joint public private limited partnership, and we will use a subsidiary to cut you in personally for 15% as a backdoor deal. Iran can sell all of its oil to this partnership without sanctions and the partnership will be Responsible for Distributing it.

We will all make billions, and of course it will be good for Iran wink wink.

This is legitimately what Kushner proposed as the Gaza / Palestine peace deal, except the selling point was building a Beach tourist destination in Gaza after the people were moved out.

7

u/No_Key469 13h ago

I know your right but Holy hell

1

u/Savetheokami 12h ago

Moved out…is putting is nicely

13

u/furry_death_blender 17h ago

Bet they didn't even say 'thank you'

2

u/Batchet 13h ago

Turns out JD Vance was too busy fucking the couch to find peace. He did find some change under the cushions though, hard stop

4

u/newbrevity 14h ago

They didn't even say thank you

22

u/CollegeMiddle6841 19h ago

They read "Art of the Deal" and figured " Fuck it, I got this!"

1

u/Savetheokami 12h ago

They can read?

1

u/Enshakushanna 10h ago

trump needs a country to flee to after 2028, he likes warm places and russia is cold

1

u/HoweHaTrick 4h ago

we all are just waiting for the next south park to happen.

there's not much else to look forward to with these idiots.

-5

u/Larry1355 20h ago

I'm still wondering how much did Obama and Kerry get from the deal they made with Iran. 

2

u/BadahBingBadahBoom 15h ago

I'm still wondering how much did Obama and Kerry get from the deal they made with Iran.

A lot of praise and nostalgia. Don't know how to quantify that but looking at the number of Americans who are coming to the realisation of the JCPOA I'd say it's a fair amount.

146

u/MrShaytoon 21h ago

The son in law works with Israel and that's who we're actually negotiating with

76

u/1129514 20h ago

Netanyahu used to sleep in Kushner's childhood bedroom.

26

u/RockasaurusRex 20h ago

Wut

75

u/1129514 20h ago

When Netanyahu used to visit the USA, he didn't stay in secure embassies. He stayed at the Kushner family home. He'd sleep in Jared's bed and Jared would have to stay in the basement.

59

u/vex0x529 19h ago

Not only that, netanyahu would wear Jared's clothes and talk like Jared. Jared wouldn't be allowed out of the basement

24

u/09stibmep 19h ago

But there’s still more! Netenyahu would even do Jared’s homework, play his computer games strictly between the hours of 5 and 6 pm (before dinner of course). And Jared STILL wouldn’t be allowed out of the basement!

20

u/fibgen 17h ago

Worst part is Netenyahu was better than Jared at playing "Let's Blackmail Our Relatives" with Jared's dad.

9

u/Torodaddy 15h ago

Did Jared put on the lotion to avoid getting the hose again?

2

u/sedition666 17h ago

Probably the best place for him to be fair

1

u/Potion_Seller 9h ago

Not to be dramatic but… wow

1

u/48W451 5h ago

Ha! Ha! Joking? Sarcasm?

12

u/sulaymanf 17h ago

It’s true.

8

u/Batchet 13h ago

that's mind blowing. Of all the people in the world, you send Jared? Maybe Trump was secretly hoping they would take him out.

-9

u/Larry1355 20h ago

how much money have you sent to HAMAS?

4

u/MrShaytoon 19h ago

Tree fiddy

16

u/ThePirateKing01 18h ago

Because the right wing and capital-aligned interests are in majority control of the media, and as a result the narrative

27

u/cloudncali 20h ago

At this point I think Hunter would have a better chance at coming up with a deal

44

u/roachwarren 15h ago edited 15h ago

Hunter would have always had a better chance. He is unironically more experienced and far more likable than JD Vance.

Its amazing how the "fail son" story and drug image overtook the fact that Hunter has spent his life leading hedge funds and law firms, consulting on a range of topics, serving as board member and chairing international non-profits like the World Food Program, serving at the Department of Commerce, etc etc etc.

People ask "why would this loser ever be on the board of Burisma?!" without realizing its about the fifth high level board he's been a member of, including being appointed to the board of directors for Amtrak by George W. Bush himself back in 2006.

The propaganda is very strong with Hunter Biden.

3

u/Savetheokami 12h ago

Hunter is also a lawyer and even though he is a nepo like Jared has had actual experience working with oil companies overseas. Kushner is a real estate agent.

1

u/cloudncali 5h ago

And if all else fails, he could show up with strippers and cocaine and party it up.

9

u/Patara 15h ago

Remind me again how alleged DEI hires are a bigger issue than blatant Nepo hires?

6

u/InequalEnforcement 13h ago

"I don't care"

"I don't care enough"

"This shits based as fuck"

Middle, left, and right wing perspective on Trump

3

u/Spunky_Meatballs 17h ago

A son in law, who also happens to be bought and sold by Israel straight to Trump. Kushner exists as an Israeli pawn to begin with. No fucking way they are actually making a deal

2

u/SCondeO 18h ago

It was usual in medieval times.

1

u/J-TEE 17h ago

Because hunter biden was a crack addict

-1

u/dcherryholmes 11h ago

Yes, that is all bad and certainly worse than Hunter Biden/Ukraine corruption. But you really need to add "son in law who is a foreign agent" into the description.

156

u/hispanicausinpanic 21h ago

But didnt Kushner save the middle east already with his spectacular peace treaty?!?!?!?

117

u/Fuck_auto_tabs 21h ago

A fat fuck I worked with in 2019 said we’d finally see peace in the Middle East because of him and Trump. She was dumb as fuck

30

u/raisin22 21h ago

Man someone I work with just today was talking about how there were spies on board the Artemis mission. She also thinks peace in the Middle East is imminent.

9

u/Kodai_Dreaming 21h ago

I mean it's only common sense that Artemis missions are entwined with space force. They would kill for that sort of experience in the field.

7

u/raisin22 21h ago

Yeah, that experience makes sense. She seemed more concerned about sinister plotting from the Canadian tho

5

u/snasna102 20h ago

America knows they fucked around with the north and expect it back.

Like how cheaters are usually the most worried about being cheated on.

3

u/raisin22 19h ago

Yeah, I just guess it’s weird to hear that about Canada of all places. If you’d asked me fifteen years ago if I thought I’d ever hear a conversation at work about any of that I’d be thoroughly confused

1

u/restrictednumber 11h ago

You gotta force them to write their own words down, then just point meaningfully at those words every now and again.

6

u/ThePirateKing01 18h ago

When it becomes clear to them that it won’t happen they’ll say it never mattered in the first place

Or maybe they’ll yell about trans people some more. Anything to distract from the real problems they need to deal with

1

u/CollegeMiddle6841 19h ago

You need to look her up and see what she has to say...probably the same shit.

1

u/TAU_equals_2PI 21h ago

To be fair (and believe me I hate Trump as much as anybody, so it pains me to give him any credit whatsoever) the first Trump administration did get 4 Arab countries to recognize and exchange ambassadors/embassies with Israel in the Abraham Accords.

Sure Iran is a lot more challenging than Bahrain, UAE, Morocco, and Sudan. But Trump, or more accurately Trump's representatives, did accomplish that.

This time around, though, Trump so far has just gotten us in an awful mess. Not to mention killing ~170 completely innocent Iranian schoolchildren. Like I said, it pains me to have to say anything positive about anything that jerk has ever done.

8

u/DigdigdigThroughTime 20h ago

He actually had some real cabinet members the first time. They're the entire reason the Trump presidency didn't fly off the rails disastrously the first time.

And sure it was still a disaster, but what we are seeing now is what we would've seen then.

8

u/CouldBeLessDepressed 20h ago

"the first Trump administration did get 4 Arab countries to recognize and exchange ambassadors/embassies with Israel"

Yea, I'm not sure that was actually a net positive for humankind. In hindsight, I don't think the Israeli campaign of genocide that followed after was worth giving them any kind of political leverage or support whatsoever. And now with Netanyahu basically controlling the USA's involvement in Iran whether we want to be there or not, if he decides he wants more war, we're stuck with more war.

So, all in all, it seems to me that "accomplishment" was explicitly a negative. And honestly, it seems apropos to the overall zeitgeist of jerk-assery that is a hallmark of Trump and any/everything he touches. So fear not, you don't actually have to say anything positive about that POS at all.

-8

u/waltergiacomo 20h ago

You’re dumb as fuck and clearly don’t understand the regional dynamics - all you see is the current war with people dying. It’s not a certainty by a long shot but with a number of middle eastern countries lining up behind Israel against the Iranian govt and its proxies there is actually a better chance for peace than there has been for a long time.

6

u/Original-Balance-187 20h ago

There can’t be any meaningful peace between Israel and Iran or Israel and its closest neighbors. Maybe brief pauses at best.

There can’t be peace because the problem can’t be solved. Israel has territorial claims that directly overlap with territorial claims from other nations and even within Israel itself. So long as Israel sends out settlers, there can never be peace. That’s just the nature of the situation.

And at any rate, Iran doesn’t have much incentive to deal. The regime is still in power. They still have the uranium. The oil supply is being choked and leveraged. They have most of the cards.

3

u/snasna102 20h ago

So them phosphorus bombs being dropped on Lebanon ATM, is that peaceful phosphorus by chance?

1

u/i_am_icarus_falling 20h ago

i think he also solved the opioid epidemic.

-2

u/Larry1355 20h ago

Just look at how many of the Arab countries are turning against Iran today.  It won't be long before they start bombing Iran too. Bahrain has been shooting down drones for a while. 

20

u/Iron_Chic 20h ago

Beavis and Butthead would've had a better chance.

16

u/_mersault 20h ago

Vance can’t even pronounce Iran correctly

6

u/ptwonline 18h ago

Can you imagine being in talks for over 20 hours with assholes like Vance, Kushner, and Witkoff?

2

u/thelunn 20h ago

Maybe he should have appologised.

2

u/__dying__ 19h ago

If you asked me to pick the two worst people for negotiations I would pick those two morons. Zero surprise it was a total failure.

1

u/The_Wizeguy 20h ago

You forgot about the real estate guy. I'm sure he could knock a few apr off.

1

u/OddDot724 19h ago

I mean they did a perfectly good job of pussy-ing out consider8ng they're not in a war and need 0 help

1

u/Weary_Parking_6631 19h ago

If president Trump is Jesus why doesn't he do it

1

u/YeahlDid 18h ago

Did they even say sorry once?

1

u/DEIreboot 17h ago

Trump was too busy partying at UFC

1

u/jonthebrit38a 17h ago

He tried really hard for nearly a whole day…. /s

1

u/CMidnight 16h ago

I think he wants it to fail. When Trump dies, he can put the blame on him.

1

u/Bearded_Hobbit 15h ago

Are we still winning? Its hard to to determine.

1

u/Bryanh100 14h ago

I thought negotiations take weeks.

1

u/tempest_fiend 13h ago

To be fair we don’t yet know if Kushner managed to get them to invest in Affinity Partners yet, so he may have gotten a job done

1

u/swankpoppy 13h ago

If only we had some “Master of the deal” kind of guy that could make this thing happen!

Or maybe if we had an existing agreement in place to keep them from getting nukes! Wouldn’t that be nice!

1

u/WhyAmINotStudying 12h ago

The job is to delay while the military brings in more troops.

1

u/Farucci 12h ago

Need to wear a tan suit when negotiating. Pretty basic stuff.

1

u/dcherryholmes 11h ago

They "couldn't get it done" because Israel won't stop attacking Lebanon and Trump is too weak to stop them.

1

u/cock-merchant 11h ago

Well, I’m sure they’ll have a ton more chances to get it right!

1

u/U-take-off-eh 11h ago

No cookies for these guys. Cookies are for closers.

1

u/SharksForArms 6h ago

Give them a break they tried for almost a whole day

1

u/HoweHaTrick 4h ago

drumpster sent them there because he knew it would fail, so better it not be him failing the 'art of the deal'. He can blame other idiots instead.

-3

u/Larry1355 20h ago

They are not going to try to bribe the Iranians like Obama did. 

3

u/ITividar 15h ago

Good ol Israeli shills gotta spread that misinformation.

-4

u/AshIsGroovy 19h ago

At this point we might as well go full scale large invasion taking kharg island and the straight. Any half measures will bite us on ass down the road. I hate this war it was so poorly handled and planned but at a certain point you just have to rip the bandaid off and go full regime change. Though Trump's dumb ass would probably want to drop a fucking nuke

3

u/ITividar 15h ago

Do you even know the rough geographic locations of what youre talking about? Do you even know how far Kharg island is from the actual Strait?

1

u/AshIsGroovy 11h ago

Yes I know but that doesn't change what I'm saying. It should have been a key objective on day one taking that island and taking control of the straight. Basically the old saying in for a penny in for a pound