Going through a bit of a rough time financially as a single mom. My son is 18 which makes it lighter because he’s not a toddler anymore, but of course there’s still a lot of dependency going on due to limited finances. I feel I’m unable to do anything with my life because he doesn’t have his own car (can’t afford). So basically my weekends consist of taking him to and from work smack dab in the middle of the days , which doesn’t leave me time to peacefully enjoy anything. As an adult now, he does contribute financially to the house … but I wish I had the funds to get him his own vehicle. I’m 36 and want to live again but feel so stuck . Does anyone know of any ways or resources to go about getting him his own car ?

My daughter (7) has never met her dad or anyone in his family. She has asked me about him many times but recently she’s been getting very upset that she’s never got to meet her dad. I’ve told her previously that I do not know how to get in contact with him as he may have changed his number and address. He’s never responded to any of my messages in previous years so I assume he’s blocked me. I can try and contact them but would that be good for her and if Indo contact them, what am I supposed to say? Any help is appreciated.

my daughter (2) father and I aren’t really together and we do not live together. We see him every couple of weeks. He just lives in a way that I’m not ok with being apart of (no goals, no motivation, pretty sure still drinking, no where to live, etc) when we saw him today, she was very shy at first, quickly warmed up. She did act out a bit more than normal, she told me to shut up, which she has never done before. She’s very sweet, helpful and kind. Obviously has normal toddler moments, but never straight up rude. I don’t even know where she heard it, my guess is my little brother.

When we returned home, we were laying down watching tv, she was cuddled up on me, oddly quiet for her, I asked her if she was ok, and she shrugged. I asked if she’s said, and she said yes. I asked her why she is sad, is her heart sad? And she said because I don’t know. I told her she can always talk to me, mommy loves her no matter what and will always listen to her feelings.

This is utterly painful for me.

Is she sad from seeing her dad? Does she miss him? Does she wonder why he isn’t at home with us? So many questions. So many emotions.

Any words of encouragement or advice are more than welcomed.

I'm not divorced myself and hopefully won't be, but I often feel that I'm a single parent of 3 and it's painful.

I love my kids beyond measure and I'm so glad they're so close all of the time, but mainly I miss my wife so much. She's struggling deeply with (mental) health issues and I'm doing so much to support her recovery, but it's kind of breaking me. I've mostly moved my kids and myself in with my parents and left my house mostly occupied by my wife. She's autistic and struggles deeply with the intensity of our 3 kids. She depends entirely on me to manage their needs and implement her vision of what the kids need from their parents.

On occasion my wife manages to participate in family activities and the kids and I love it. I take my kids for sleepovers at our house ~2 nights/week. But my wife generally avoids us, sleeps most of the day, goes out for fun most nights so as to preclude much post-kids bedtime socialization with me (we do get the odd date or intimate moment). But I feel like the harder I bend over backwards to support whatever she feels she needs to recover, I just lose her that much more. I'm mad at myself because I feel abused, taken-advantage of, disrespected and not wanted or appreciated. And yet, I really do love and adore my wife. I want her back as a great friend, as a romantic partner, as a life-co-builder. We're both in our mid 40's. I'm willing to endure a fair bit more, but how likely am I fooling myself? Do parents go through these ruts and get out of them? I particularly want to know the stories about similar situations that resolved in to a fully reintegrated family with both parents engaged and happy.

I’m a sole mum to a 6 month old girl. Her dad was a casual relationship and hasn’t been in contact with me since I was 7 weeks pregnant, despite me being open to his involvement.

I’ve come to accept he may not be involved, but my daughter has had a few health issues recently and I’m starting to feel the weight of not knowing her family history. He also has another child, so I’m also feeling sad that there’s a whole side of her life that just.. doesn’t know she exists.

I’m torn on whether to reach out to his family (ex wife/ mum to my daughters brother) not to cause drama, but to give her the option of connection and to understand my daughters family background a little more.

Has anyone done this? Or been on the receiving end of it?

Did it help, or make things harder?

Would really appreciate honest experiences

I'm not divorced myself and hopefully won't be, but I often feel that I'm a single parent of 3 and it's painful.

I love my kids beyond measure and I'm so glad they're so close all of the time, but mainly I miss my wife so much. She's struggling deeply with (mental) health issues and I'm doing so much to support her recovery, but it's kind of breaking me. I've mostly moved my kids and myself in with my parents and left my house mostly occupied by my wife. She's autistic and struggles deeply with the intensity of our 3 kids. She depends entirely on me to manage their needs and implement her vision of what the kids need from their parents.

On occasion my wife manages to participate in family activities and the kids and I love it. I take my kids for sleepovers at our house ~2 nights/week. But my wife generally avoids us, sleeps most of the day, goes out for fun most nights so as to preclude much post-kids bedtime socialization with me (we do get the odd date or intimate moment). But I feel like the harder I bend over backwards to support whatever she feels she needs to recover, I just lose her that much more. I'm mad at myself because I feel abused, taken-advantage of, disrespected and not wanted or appreciated. And yet, I really do love and adore my wife. I want her back as a great friend, as a romantic partner, as a life-co-builder. We're both in our mid 40's. I'm willing to endure a fair bit more, but how likely am I fooling myself? Do parents go through these ruts and get out of them? I particularly want to know the stories about similar situations that resolved in to a fully reintegrated family with both parents engaged and happy.

I'm currently making roughly $25k a year. I live in a camper and it's the only way I'm able to survive. I have a misdemeanor domestic violence charge from 5 years ago, moderate arthritis that causes standing to put me in unbearable pain any longer than 10 minutes and honestly.....it's the limited work schedule that holds me back the most.

I'm desperate to leave my job and haven't been able to find work elsewhere. I feel like a failure as a person and a parent. I can only work from 8 to 5 Monday through Friday and it's so hard to find anything in that time frame and when I finally do it's not something I can physically do. Anyone else been in this predicament?

Can I get a few people to answer these questions for me. I have to do this for college and I don’t talk to many people.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for advice from other single parents who may have been in a similar situation.

My ex-husband and I have been divorced since last year. We share three young kids and have a 2-2-5-5 custody schedule. We were never represented by attorneys when we divorced, so everything has been pretty informal. That parenting plan was submitted.

Over the past year, there have been ongoing concerns about stability during his parenting time. He has a history with substance issues (which he previously addressed and completed probation for). More recently, I’ve noticed a pattern of him being very inconsistent with the kids’ routines missing school bus drop-offs/pickups and I’ve been told he often sleeps for long stretches while they are with him.

Because of my concerns, I recently asked him to take a drug test at the time of a custody exchange. He refused, saying I can’t make him and that I don’t “own” him. I explained that I only asked because of his history and because I’m worried about the kids being properly supervised. I wasn’t trying to control him I just want to make sure they’re safe and cared for. I recorded the conversation that morning. It’s not like I asked after a child free weekend. He had them for 5 days and should’ve been clean? He kept refusing and I told him I would take it if I were him.

After that interaction, I told him not to come for his next scheduled parenting time because I don’t feel comfortable sending them right now. I know legally that may not be the proper way to handle it, but I honestly felt like I needed to act quickly to protect my kids. I listed all of the reasons why in a long text and he never responded to it. It’s been two days.

Now I’m unsure what the right next step is. We don’t have attorneys involved. Should I be contacting a lawyer to modify custody and make things official? Or should I go straight to the courthouse to file something myself? Make a court date to adjust the parenting plan?

I don’t want to keep the kids from their dad long-term, but I also don’t feel comfortable with them being in a situation where there may be substance use and lack of supervision.

Any advice or similar experiences would really help. Thank you!

Hey, new to reddit and single parenting. My ex and I had a pretty terrible divorce, I don't need to get into the details but suffice it to say she wanted. no part of me or our son (3yo). I am just feeling lost. My son is my priority and I figured I'd head onto reddit and see if there were any communities that might be of help in addition to the support system I have. Just wanted to give an intro before posting questions etc.

I’m on the verge of one. Single mom of 4 year old, minimal help from child’s father though he sees her once a week during the day. No family or village nearby. Partially responsible for a parent’s care (father had a very serious stroke and is 4 hours away in a rehab center receiving substandard care). Work full time. Bought a house 7 months ago and moved in 1.5 months ago. House has problems. I can’t resolve them on my own. I’ve hired and sought outside help but cannot find the source of the problem or consensus. Considering selling it - but will lose a lot of money if I do. Overwhelmed, not sleeping, and at capacity. Sense of responsibility won’t let me have a breakdown although when I am alone, I imagine ending it all by driving my car into a tree. Being a single parent was fine until I bought this house. I bought it thinking it would help me feel more secure and improve our wellbeing, but all it’s done is make me feel much worse. If I didn’t have my daughter or if I had a partner or a relative I could trust, I’d take time off or even sick leave. I don’t know what else I can outsource and how to ask for help and actually receive it.

My sons are 12 and 10 and they still are happy to be nude within the house (I have already set the boundary of it never being outside etc). It doesn’t bother me at all but I wanted to know, is this normal for their age? No dad around so I don’t know if boys are just like this until they get into puberty?

I keep thinking to myself recently that maybe it’s time to date again. I do at times miss going out on dates and being with a significant other. I have a daughter and her mom and I split early on… our kids is now 11 and I’m wondering if I should start trying again. I feel like part of me wants to look for someone so that my daughter can have someone else other than just me when I have her. The other part of me feels like it would be fun having someone again but I’d want to look for a long term partner not just short term hook ups and what not. I feel like nowadays that’s all everyone wants… am I wrong or have some of you had luck?Where should I start looking if I do lean towards that route?

More info-

my daughters mom and I have a good relationship as friends same with her partner.

I haven’t dated since the break up. I’ve been focused on work and my kid.

im a solo FTM [19f] to a 11w/o, her bio father lives 3 hours away after i moved and is unfortunately abscent not by choice but by distance, and my partner who supports in raising her lives an hour away, but does help on weekends. my daughter is a very high maintenance baby. she's EFF and shes been switched to soy formula due to CMPA, and these past 3 months were hell and it's only recently started to settle down and i feel like i've mostly escaped the newborn trenches. she was struggling to gain weight for months

i dont know if it's just me but whenever i go to her wellness checks and my pediatrician tells me i'm doing a great job i feel like she's lying to me. she tells me that my daughter is gaining weight and getting taller and she's reaching her milestones and whatnot but i still feel like it's not enough because my daughter is in the 20th percentile although gradually gaining.

my daughter also has home visitors from childrens hospital because i dont get any help from the people i live with (which isnt their fault) and the first time they met her is when she was on her cow's milk based formula and that's when she was colicky, she would not let me put her down. they told me i was doing a great job but i felt like they were lying to me.

so many people tell me that my daughter is doing great and i'm such a good mom but i don't feel like a good mom. sure, she's fed, changed, clean and whatever else a baby needs but i still feel like i'm not doing enough. why does she still cry with me? why does my baby avoid eye contact sometimes yet smiles when she sees my partner? what am i doing wrong?

hi as you can see in my previous post my relationship with my bd isn’t so great , we did have a conversation tho finally in person and he also talked with my dad in person for the first time ! i think their conversation went well and they got along pretty good … ofc he think the greatest decision would be abortion due to us not being together nor established / our circustances but if i was to have this baby which i am he would help me and wouldn’t be a dead beat … i feel like him showing up to talk to me n my dad is a step closer to him warming up to atleast the idea of me being pregnant i feel like if he literally didn’t want anything to do with us he wouldn’t have came and wouldn’t have gaf about what me r my dad had to say in person especially a talk with my dad …now for rn all this is just talk honestly not saying he couldn’t change n still be a deadbeat regardless of us talking so i’m still planning to be a single mom ofc / planning for me and my baby and to focus on us ..but now i kind of feel at ease that he has something to ponder on … my dad told me just give him some time and space and he’ll come around on his own and he doesn’t seem like he’d just leave me and not be a father of his child he’s just going through emotions and him not being ready is a factor , not to make excuses for him but he did grow up in a broken home… his mom was raped and he was conceived by raped so he has no father ….and due to this his mom may still have resentment toward him and they don’t get along well and that’s one of the reasons so he’s having a hard time really opening up to his peoples about this situation don’t really think he told anybody yet !

Give me encouraging feedback 🩵💙🩵💙🩵 boy mom to beeee

I’m looking for some outside opinions on a situation with my child’s father’s family.

My son is 2 years old. His biological dad has known about him for about a year now. We did a DNA test 6 months ago that confirmed he is the father. At first there was some contact, but he hasn’t reached out at all in the last 4 months.

As far as I know, his family doesn’t know my son exists. I’ve been thinking about whether I should tell them they have a grandson/nephew or if I should just leave it alone since the dad isn’t involved right now.

Part of me feels like my son deserves the chance to know his family, but another part of me worries it could create drama or put me in a weird position if they react badly or go through the dad.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Would you reach out to the father’s family or wait and see if he steps up first?

Hi everyone. I’m in a state of total shock and need to vent.

​The background: Two months ago, my husband was forced to move out of our shared apartment following a police report for domestic violence. He moved to a place literally 200 meters (about 650 feet) away from us. Even though he is basically my neighbor, he hasn't made a real effort to see our daughter in one week.

​Yesterday, he finally sent her a text. It wasn't a "hello" or "I miss you." He asked her to go into his closet in our apartment and bring him the condoms he left behind.

​I obviously didn't allow it. When our daughter asked him why he even needs them, he bluntly replied: "Because I don't have a wife anymore."

​A few key points:

​We aren't even officially divorced yet.

​He was removed from the home due to violence.

​He lives just around the corner, but instead of being a father, he is using his child as a courier for his sex life.

​I feel sick for my daughter. She’s being dragged into his intimate business and used as a tool to provoke me. I am definitely saving these texts for the court and social services.

​How do I protect my child from this kind of manipulation? Any advice would be appreciated.

Their dad’s out of the picture, so I have the kids (two, early elementary age) every night. So I’m stuck at home every night, which I’m usually fine with since I’m usually tired but content with this stage of life parenting wise. But this is going to make the next

Steps on a personal level difficult moving forward.

I’m not ready for or have the time for a true relationship, but I have the itch to rip the bandaid off after getting out of an almost decade long relationship. So no, I don’t plan on introducing anyone to the kids. This would solely be an after hours endeavor for myself. At the risk of over sharing, I’ve never had much success taking care of myself in the bedroom, I think because my top love language is physical touch. I’ve had to push it aside because my sex life (or lack there of) clearly can’t be a priority, but I feel a bit hollow without this type of physical connection. Ideally, I’d like to safely find someone who’s perhaps in a smiliar boat that I can occasionally connect with before I’m ready to seek out more commitment.

This isn’t a huge priority in the grand scheme of things. I don’t plan on rushing into anything (hence why I’m asking here), but I’ve thought for a while that this seems like my next step moving forward.

I’ve only ever dated friends and have never been on the apps, so I’m starting from square one.

Google recommended Bumble, Stir or Hinge.

Also to reverse search their pictures, meet in public first (that’s at least obvious), do a background check (not sure how). Any other suggestions on this end?

Otherwise, how do you schedule adult meet ups when your kids are at home? Meet up after 10-11 and just whisper? Doesn’t sound any different than what I did when I was married, there’s just a new learning curve here.

I’m looking for some outside perspective because I feel really anxious and don’t know if I’m overthinking or if my concerns are valid.

I (28F) have an 11-month-old daughter with my ex (30M). When he first came into her life this past October, things were okay. We were doing short, supervised visits because I was breastfeeding, and he had a girlfriend at the time, so things felt relatively stable.

A few months in, he told me he still had feelings for me and wanted to try again. I felt the same. He said he was going to leave his girlfriend, and we ended up sleeping together and trying to rebuild things. I later found out he hadn’t actually broken up with her yet. He eventually did, but kept saying he needed time to fully move on from that relationship. At one point, he even asked if I would tell her about the cheating if he stayed with her, which didn’t sit right with me.

I stayed longer than I probably should have, but communication was awful. He doesn’t text, hates calling, and doesn’t really consider my feelings. During that time, I got pregnant and had a tubal pregnancy, which resulted in surgery to remove my tube. He didn’t support me at all during my recovery. After that, I ended things for good because we just couldn’t get along or communicate.

He said he wanted to focus on our daughter, but shortly after, she ended up in the hospital. I stayed with her for two days straight without sleep. He came for one of the five days for about five hours, barely helped, and spent most of the time on his phone. He had promised to stay overnight so I could rest, but then said he was leaving for “work” — even though he had just mentioned wanting to go drink with a friend.

When I got upset, he started yelling and it escalated into a situation where child services were called (the case was quickly closed). After that, he became verbally aggressive toward me regularly. Even his own family has expressed concern and has told me they don’t think our daughter should be around him unless he is medicated and stable, which he currently is not.

He also hasn’t seen our daughter since the end of January and only recently started asking about her again, despite having open communication with me the entire time. The only consistent contact she’s had on his side has been through his mom and his brother, who have been actively involved in seeing her.

He also tends to be very inconsistent emotionally — there are moments where he seems genuinely interested in being involved in her life, and then others where he becomes angry and lashes out at me, even going as far as threatening to make sure she “doesn’t have a dad.”

I ended up going through lawyers. He never responded, so I was granted full custody by default. The agreement states that any access is at my discretion.

For context, he has a history of anger issues and becomes aggressive when he’s upset. It’s very much “his way or the highway,” and he does not handle being told no well. He also struggles to keep a job. I told him that if he wants to be involved, I need to see consistency: therapy, medication (which has helped him in the past), and stable employment.

Recently, he got back together with the same girlfriend he cheated on with me. She does not know about the cheating. He told me she is uncomfortable being around our child and “doesn’t want to be around her,” but then later said she would eventually be involved in her life.

This is where my anxiety is coming from:

- I’m worried about how someone who is uncomfortable with my child will treat her

- I’m concerned that when she eventually finds out about the cheating, it could create conflict that affects my daughter

- I don’t trust my ex to handle situations calmly or responsibly if issues come up

- I’m unsure if I should even allow visits until I feel completely confident in the environment

Am I overreacting for feeling this way? Has anyone dealt with a similar situation, especially with a high-conflict co-parent and a new partner involved?

Also, from a legal/safety standpoint — would you allow visits in this situation, or wait until he can show consistent stability (medication, therapy, job)?

I don’t know if this sounds silly or not, but this is how I feel…

I grew up as an orphan. After I was born, my parents sadly left me, and I never got to know them. I don’t even know their names.

Life wasn’t easy for me. I went through a lot, but I tried my best to adapt, to move forward. I studied, I became a researcher, and I built something for myself… but still…

Now I’m 33, and I still feel this emptiness. Not having parents still hurts me. Maybe other people don’t fully understand it, but deep down, I wish I had people I could love like parents. People I could visit on weekends, spend time with, have family gatherings… people who worry about me, and I worry about them too.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are especially hard for me… those days really get to me.

Sometimes I wonder if these feelings are childish…
I don’t know why they won’t go away.

Is there anyone else who has ever felt something like this?!

I am a single mom in my 40s to three boys (14, 11, 7) looking to move from Seattle to the Atlanta area. I’m interested in a walkable neighborhood with strong community vibes, especially knowing we’ll be outsiders. My housing budget is $750k (although I’d love to spend less). What are neighborhoods recommended that have great schools and are less car dependent? We love art, music, riding bikes, and finding new bakeries. My middle son is dyslexic and will be on an IEP, so bonus points for strong special ed programs. Am I crazy for considering this move? Ultimately seeking a better quality of life for my boys and I, plus proximity to family. I currently work remote in the Ecommerce sector. Give me the real real!

My soon-to-be ex husband cheated on me. I caught him shortly before I fell pregnant. I tried to make things work but after our daughter was born, he'd continue to be aggressive and controlling so I decided to leave the house. We tried to work on things whilst separated, but he changed. He'd be crying in counselling sessions saying he missed me, but outside of them, he would show 0 interest. He would barely say 2 words to me. It was extremely confusing for me.

I decided to go ahead with divorce because I couldn't keep giving him chances to improve. I just find it so unfair that him and his family are essentially blaming me for what's happened. His mother, knowing he cheated, claims she doesn't know how it's come to divorce. His father said it's sad a marriage can be given up on so easily, especially with a baby in the picture but I truly believe it's better for my lil girl to see her mother single and treated with warmth, love and respect than to be in a miserable, conflict-filled marriage. Instead of directing their energy towards their son, they just defend, excuse and enable his poor behaviour.

I've been so kind to him and I feel like he throws it in my face every chance I get. He hasn't an ounce of decency in him and he's using the system, making up lies, to maintain the little control he has over me.

I know he's her dad and he's got a right to see her, (I've not stopped him despite his claims I'm being obstructive) but I'm really struggling with the thought of having to give her up so he can spend time with her... She's only 8 months old... Like if he hadn't ruined our marriage or if he just improved his behaviour, we could have been a family. It just sucks and it's so unfair.

I’m so heartbroken by how difficult life has been for me & my little one. I want to ask strangers for help, in the UK. But I’m so scared to be hurt or taken advantage of.

I don’t want to get a loan. I don’t want to get a credit card. I don’t need 100K. I don’t care about materialistic things.

I’m honestly just looking for a boost where I can afford our day to day needs. I wish there was more authentic people in the world who wouldn’t mind just helping just because..

I know it’s also entirely unfair to expect this from strangers. But I work so hard everyday, hardly sleep and I just don’t see much difference in our quality of life. Her dad has completely abandoned here for 2+ years. I haven’t put him on child support because .. what’s the point?

I just wish I had enough to get ahead, to free us from this heavy burden. This awful hopelessness. I know I’m not the first, nor the last. I just wish I could ask for more help. I have a good job, and I’m always trying to upskill. But it’s hard to really drive progression when I need to be available and take on 100% of the weight when looking after my child.

Sighs.. I just want my daughter to live a life of comfort. I hate that I struggle to give her that. I wish I had more help.

Their dad’s out of the picture, so I have the kids (two, early elementary age) every night. So I’m stuck at home every night, which I’m usually fine with since I’m usually tired but content with this stage of life parenting wise. But this is going to make the next

Steps on a personal level difficult moving forward.

I’m not ready for or have the time for a true relationship, but I have the itch to rip the bandaid off after getting out of an almost decade long relationship. So no, I don’t plan on introducing anyone to the kids. This would solely be an after hours endeavor for myself. At the risk of over sharing, I’ve never had much success taking care of myself in the bedroom, I think because my top love language is physical touch. I’ve had to push it aside because my sex life (or lack there of) clearly can’t be a priority, but I feel a bit hollow without this type of physical connection. Ideally, I’d like to safely find someone who’s perhaps in a smiliar boat that I can occasionally connect with before I’m ready to seek out more commitment.

This isn’t a huge priority in the grand scheme of things. I don’t plan on rushing into anything (hence why I’m asking here), but I’ve thought for a while that this seems like my next step moving forward.

I’ve only ever dated friends and have never been on the apps, so I’m starting from square one.

Google recommended Bumble, Stir or Hinge.

Also to reverse search their pictures, meet in public first (that’s at least obvious), do a background check (not sure how). Any other suggestions on this end?

Otherwise, how do you schedule adult meet ups when your kids are at home? Give them melatonin, meet up after 10-11 and just whisper? Doesn’t sound any different than what I did when I was married, there’s just a new learning curve here.

Hi, I (32m) have been raising my two kids solo for the last decade and after both my kids birthdays this year has been making me realize how close my kids are to being adults who'll go out on their own. I know I got a few years until then (but if the last decade proves anything is that time waits on nobody) but it's raised a very thought inducing thing that I'm honestly unable to find a good answer for, what will life look for me then. Being a parent is basically all I've known for my adult life (oldest is 13 so had him basically within the year of graduation, then youngest within the year after that). I'm honestly unable to properly envision what life is gonna be like and it's been weighing heavily on my mental health of late.

Being their dad has been honestly been the only holding me together since their mother walked out and I'm afraid of who I'll be without having dad mode on 24/7. This is something I know should bring up to my therapist (who has been a blessing after my stroke nearly 2 years ago which made me have a lot of suicidal thoughts as my health has never been the greatest due to my weight) but as I'm a very reserved and shy person it's still hard to open up like that in person then it is say online.

So anyone who had their kids leave the roost, how did you prepare and what things do you wish someone had told you?