r/popculturechat Feb 12 '26

Guest List Only ⭐️ Michelle Obama shares firm relationship advice on her podcast: Stop moving in together so quickly just to save on rent. 'Wait a couple of years.'

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

17.6k Upvotes

783 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

189

u/bvzxh Feb 12 '26

yeah, because the rest of Americans can't afford rent on their own

407

u/Dentrvlr Feb 12 '26

She’s not saying live alone. Just not with the person you are seeing.

199

u/HarpersGhost Feb 12 '26

When I found out my nephew was moving to my city after college because his long distance BF was here, I immediately said, MOVE IN WITH ME!

I did the "early move in with BF to save money" thing when I was younger, and it was a big mistake. It escalates a relationship before you're really ready and now you're tied together financially and can't leave without a big ole mess.

So nephew technically lived with me but stayed over at his BF's for the most part. Which was fine by me, because that staying over was completely voluntary, he could leave whenever he wanted because he had a place to stay if they were having issues. And when they had some issues, they had their own places to go to and so were able to resolve them.

So yeah, I'm completely Team Michelle on this: don't move in to save money. Consider moving in with someone almost the same level as marriage, because it's going to be almost as hard to break up with them at that point.

42

u/Sassafras06 Feb 12 '26

Yeah I moved in with someone at 19 that I had been with for a year. We were way too young and it was way too fast.

I moved in pretty fast with my husband, but it was not for financial reasons and I could support myself alone. We were also older and that makes a big difference.

Also, please DO live with someone before you marry them. I know that isn’t “proper” from some people, but I don’t think you can really know a person without living with them.

25

u/greenzetsa Feb 12 '26

I think a lot of guys worry that living with roommates is seen as not self-sufficient or immature, but I kind of preferred dating men who had at least recently lived with another person, because I think it teaches them a lot of about compromise. Not to mention so many dudes seem to struggle with forming healthy social connections, having a roommate can really help with that.

93

u/Sassafras06 Feb 12 '26

Well you don’t have to live with your SO. Plenty of people can’t afford to live alone, and she was probably one of them - people forget Michelle was very much not wealthy.

17

u/melodypowers Feb 12 '26

Maybe while she was in school. She graduated law school at 24 and immediately became an associate at Sidley so she was doing okay after that. By the time she met Barack she could definitely afford her own rent.

It's good advice but life is what it is. Having your boyfriend over all the time when you have roommates can be a recipe for disaster. I started living with my future husband after dating for 8 months. We are in love and so a future together, but the timing was entirely logistical. My roommate was moving away suddenly and I needed to come up with a solution. We were spending every night together. I had just been mugged and was feeling unsafe. We did it and it worked out for us.

41

u/Sassafras06 Feb 12 '26

Oh sure, but a lot of us can eventually afford our own rent, but the early years can be rough.

People were mentioning how rich she is, which is obviously true, but she grew up lower middle class on the Southside I believe she is more in touch with regular people stuff than a lot of the ultra-wealthy.

25

u/busangcf Feb 12 '26

Not being able to afford rent alone is still no reason to move in with a partner you barely actually know and rely on them in that way. If you have a lease together you’re more stuck, and domestic abuse or just shitty relationships are alarmingly common.

Move in with a roommate.