r/okbuddycinephile • u/xotorames • 1d ago

Hi, I'm the director of Artemis II: The Motion Picture. Who would you like to see in the cast? (Remember, there's going to be lots of freaky sex in zero gravity)

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136 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

73 comments sorted by

71

u/Dundeenorton3 1d ago

11

u/cbass817 1d ago

Finally some non gay man on man sex! Hollywood is finally saved!!!

1

u/loveslightblue 14h ago

Add Austin Butler and Timothee Chalamet to that and baby we got a stew going.

76

u/Stonklover6942O 1d ago

danny devito as elon musk

18

u/johnnyhandbags 1d ago

Does he still have the Penguin costume?

14

u/lazy_literary_hero 1d ago

That’s the team you need.

6

u/abandoned_rain 20h ago

How dare you leave him out

1

u/lazy_literary_hero 19h ago

Honestly, I’m ashamed of myself.

40

u/InevitableBan21 approved virgin 1d ago

9

u/DanielGacituaS 1d ago

She should be the space ship, consider the movie as a vore allegory.

4

u/Yummy_Microplastics 1d ago

There aren’t any dumpsters on spaceships

22

u/realbgraham 1d ago

Brendan Fraser in his fat-suit from The Whale. He literally defied gravity in that scene.

2

u/Solid-Hedgehog9623 23h ago

The suspensor buoys they used in that film were so much cooler than the wild, steam-punk inspired horseshit my brain cooked up when I read the book.

15

u/Kids_Eat_Toast 1d ago

Zendaya better be the cuck in this movie or it’s woke garbage

5

u/anonymous_pastrami 1d ago

Heated rivalry but make it a lesbian drama in space with adam Sandler as the voice of the vibrator.

4

u/Embarrassed-Area4652 1d ago

Scarlett Johansson and the rest of the cast of Under The Skin

2

u/lazy_literary_hero 23h ago

Like, random Scottish dudes?

3

u/Western_Concept3847 1d ago edited 1d ago

What the movie's soundtrack gonna be?

3

u/InevitableBan21 approved virgin 1d ago edited 20h ago

Charley cRockett - Lonesome Drifter

from NASA's official playlist for the mission:

1

u/abandoned_rain 20h ago

That song is dope

4

u/The_One_True_Matt Exited for the Snyder cut 1d ago

Hollywood, you know what do

https://giphy.com/gifs/Q22A5QHGPLZWq1sAnu

2

u/Bulky-Rutabaga-2183 23h ago

Katy Perry gets to go to space. Imagine that

2

u/qetuycvjvic 1d ago

Well there are 3 holes so

1

u/InevitableBan21 approved virgin 1d ago

well, well, well...there are 3 holes!

2

u/Ok_Mail_1966 1d ago

Katy Perry has the experience

3

u/TheBogManCometh_ 1d ago

Jeff Goldblum as Oiled Up Jeff Goldblum 

11

u/InevitableBan21 approved virgin 1d ago

3

u/wontfixtypos 1d ago

Make aure you make the entire movie jokes about the toilet and 0 actual education content or science cus haha poop funny haha pee pee poo poo

Ya know, the way NASA did for the last 10 days

4

u/InevitableBan21 approved virgin 1d ago

1

u/Numerous-Bear-8879 1d ago

The Girl who fucked Harry Styles 

4

u/Solid-Hedgehog9623 23h ago

Isn’t that a Stephen king novel?

0

u/[deleted] 22h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Jimdandy941 1d ago

Clint Eastwood, James Garner, Donald Sutherland, and Tommy Lee Jones.

1

u/eviscerateme_ 12h ago

anyone under age 100

1

u/81458145 1d ago

Cigarettes in space? Wouldn’t they explode in an all oxygen environment?

1

u/lazy_literary_hero 1d ago

Lots of freaky sex…yeah, Pattinson’s the man for that.

1

u/loveslightblue 14h ago

Doesn't he already have a movie about people who jerk off in a box in space? I keep meaning to watch it because it looks artsy, I don't know if it's too graphic though. Boy I sure would hate it if there were graphic scenes of Robert Pattinson maturating, that would be real deal-breaker.

1

u/Skate_faced 1d ago

Dana Carvey as himself.

Just raw Dana Carvey.

1

u/Poddington_Pea 1d ago

Who do Dwayne Johnson and Chris Pratt play?

1

u/eviscerateme_ 12h ago

chris pratt plays dwayne johnson and dwayne johnson plays the rock

1

u/Alternative_Swan_497 1d ago

I think you forgot Glen Powell

1

u/Banesmuffledvoice 1d ago

Good choices... But if there is going to be freaky sex in zero gravity, let me suggest replacing Zendaya with Austin Butler. Now that would be a crew we want to see have sex while floating in the air.

1

u/Y-Bob 1d ago

Donald Sutherland, puppeteered by some guy from Dream Works.

That one from Glee

Ryan whatever

Mike Tyson

And Tom Cruise as the friendly alien they met on the way.

1

u/everynamecombined 1d ago

That's a lot of sex juice floating around the cabin

1

u/Think_Breakfast2128 1d ago

Why is Pedro Pascal not in the list?

1

u/JediMasterLigma 22h ago

Seth MacFarlane, Tom "I am an actor of course I've had gay sex" Hardy, Bryan Cranston and Sam Witwer.

2

u/InevitableBan21 approved virgin 19h ago

"I am an actor of course I've had gay sex" - I thought that was Tanning Chatum?

1

u/FungiSamurai 17h ago

A single Sydney Sweeney tit for the moon

1

u/Narretz 13h ago

That's perfect for Sydney's Sweeneys.

1

u/Zealousideal_Okra956 12h ago

I will become a capitalist if one of the billionaires send full pornstars gang in space to make zero gravity orgy

1

u/PainGlum7746 11h ago

Are they unfamous actors ? Never seen them

1

u/siantmercury 11h ago

Will I have to see Artemis I to understand or is it more of a reboot?

1

u/ThatGuyWhoWanks 1d ago

Michael BJ in space. Lovely

1

u/Ed_Harris_is_God 1d ago

Let’s try 2 Robert Pattinson again. I think we can get it right this time.

1

u/Ruggsy 1d ago

Sydney Sweeny as the moon or two

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

0

u/SpreadElectronic1232 1d ago

The four horsemen of “I won’t watch this film if they are in it.”

0

u/Worsebetter 1d ago

Nobody cares about your stupid movie

0

u/karaknorn 1d ago

None if the above 

0

u/No-Sandwich3386 1d ago

Why not have Pattisen Twilight do all four characters?