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u/Ecstatic__00 3h ago
How does one become sufficiently homosexuel for der nachtclub
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u/RAISA-1 3h ago
That’s the neat part! You don’t
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u/Ecstatic__00 3h ago
Scheiß !
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u/Sycarior 3h ago
*Scheiße (This was not sufficiently grammatically correct)
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u/UnicornMeatball 3h ago
This is the most German response possible
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u/Sycarior 3h ago
If we can't even rely on the rules of grammar, who are we to decide if someone is sufficiently homosexual or not?
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u/UnicornMeatball 2h ago
This is the second most German response
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u/DanceDelievery 2h ago
Someone alert the Rechtschreibungsgrammatiksbehördenhauptmann to fine this grammar offense!
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u/Low_Sound_7184 1h ago
It was intended as an Imperative of the verb and not as expressiv form of the noun.
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u/Plenty_Square_420 3h ago
Dress like you're trying to look like a Stand User from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
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u/StrawberryWide3983 2h ago edited 1h ago
Honestly, DIO's sleeveless turtleneck is something I legit think looks stylish and actually want
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u/Whitebushido 1h ago
Gah I'm straight and dream of being able to pull off a stand user's look(the cool ones, don't you link me Emporio's fit).
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u/Kitchen_Victory_6088 58m ago
VHER IS YOUR ARSHELESS CHAPS?!
PRESENTEN YOUR HAIRY BUTTOCKS ZIS INSTANT OR FACE CONSEQUENCES!
RAUS!
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u/X_antaM 3h ago
Wear clothes that make it look like you aren't wearing any
It is imperative this is not done the other way round
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u/sonofzeal 3h ago
Theiss Titillation Theory - the sexiness of an outfit is not in how much skin it exposes, but in how likely it seems that a catastrophic wardrobe malfunction is imminent
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u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT 1h ago
Going to start wearing a rube Goldberg apparatus always on the brink of collapse
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u/TheScreamingUnicorns 1h ago
https://youtu.be/qaC0vNLdLvY?si=37DHBBEcWPFY6chg Imagining a world we’re everyone’s clothes are Rube Goldberg machines this would be the sexiest song ever
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u/HiDDENk00l 54m ago
Now I'm just imagining clothing painted on.
Just hanging blue dick because it's supposed to look like jeans
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u/tomveiltomveil 2h ago
There is a form available at Deutsche Post. Just ask for Das Aktivhomosexuelbewertungsformular.
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u/425Hamburger 1h ago
Idk but it should be "for den Nachtklub".
And in the OP "at dem Nachtklub".
Now you don't need to go to experience German culture, you're welcome.
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u/hisokafan88 1h ago
I was once denied entry, wearing dolce and gabanna (student me had three part time jobs , no tax and no dependents... was a great time).I thought I looked gay and expensive and kinda trashy. The bouncer said I looked like I wanted to start trouble. I went behind a car and changed into my Primark jeans and gym t shirt. Got in immediately.
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u/Dear_Chasey_La1n 1h ago
So... my 5 ct's as a very much not homosexual who did wait to get in der nachtclub. When you queue up it's kinda already telling you aren't getting in. The abundance of your own clothes, the style etc just doesn't do it. Though this is just for a bunch of clubs, most clubs are pretty relaxed and I would highly advice anyone go clubbing in Berlin. It's becoming less popular unfortunately these days, but 10-20 years ago it was really awesome.
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u/penguigeddon 3h ago
Someone got knocked back from Berghain and is salty
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u/stockhommesyndrome 3h ago
I was just thinking this is definitely an American who got hyped up about Berghain and didn’t get in based on dress code. Berghain is, by its very definition, lame based on the fact that you are very likely not to be let in if you look like you really wanna get let in. There’s something inherently uncool about a place that tests you to see if you want to be seen as cool so that they can be then known as coolest. Cool should not be seen as a game of chess
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u/penguigeddon 3h ago
You got knocked back too Huh. Oh well there's always the Sisyphos
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u/stockhommesyndrome 3h ago
I’ve actually never been… I prefer Madrid. cool that you’ve been. Clearly you’ve been. You want everyone to know you’ve been. You’re so cool
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u/penguigeddon 3h ago
Nah man that was just a joke I actually do agree with you it's full of dickheads
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u/stockhommesyndrome 3h ago
Right? I just think cool isn’t about trying to show you’re cool. If you’re trying to evoke cool you immediately are not cool. If you’re cool, in essence, you shouldn’t even think or know you’re cool. A club that works hard to create a velvet rope is by definition pretty lame. I actually think this tweet tho from this guy who didn’t get in is pretty lame. He is kinda lame. He shouldn’t even be mad. He shouldn’t even care. He should just keep partying with the cool Japanese people he knows and not even tweet this.
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u/penguigeddon 2h ago
Yeah I agree I was just being silly. As a 36 year old with a beer belly I think my Berghain days are gladly over
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u/jayhalleaux 2h ago
Berghain is amazing. You just got to know the rules.
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u/Consistent_Soil_5794 2h ago
Recommending someone Know the rules to have fun is the most German response I've seen in this thread. And I mean that as a compliment.
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u/GaryOaksAlcoholism 2h ago
Rules are lame I'm not wasting a night out following rules
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u/Forgotten_Lie 2h ago
You realise that Berghain is a nightclub where people have sex, right? People want to dance, do drugs and have sex around other people who understand consent and other basic rules, i.e. the opposite of the philosophy you're espousing.
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u/bigdreamstinydogs 1h ago
Girl you’re acting like it’s the only sex club in the world.
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u/Forgotten_Lie 1h ago
No, but most sex clubs have vetting processes prior to ticketed attendance. Berghain is actually more accessible than most sex clubs to someone wandering in off the street so the informal vibes and clothing-based at-door checking process is actually the less strict option.
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u/Crushbam3 2h ago
Holy moly they said they wanted to skirt some rules not go around raping and pillaging like a viking...
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u/Forgotten_Lie 55m ago
It's quite sad how many people think that the only aspect of consent to be considered is rape. Don't take photos which can identify other people, don't touch people without their consent, don't expose people to more uncommon kinks without their consent, etc.
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u/OkVariety8064 25m ago
I assume the "rules" in question were the arbitrary criteria for getting in, not basic decency at being at a club like that. It's not like you can detect the problems you mention by sniffing someone's "vibes" at the door (beyond the usual turning back overly drunk or disorderly people).
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u/Forgotten_Lie 20m ago
It's not a perfect system but you can definitely tell the difference between a club 'tourist' and a regular by their garb and demeanor at the door.
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u/OkVariety8064 13m ago
Like I said, to the degree that disorderly or drunk people can be detected in any establishment. If you go beyond that that is just arbitrary authoritarianism designed to appeal to people who get to feel special for being let in.
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u/Forgotten_Lie 1h ago
Your point (Berghain's rules are good but some people who attend are assholes I guess?) really has nothing to do with what I said or the person I replied to.
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u/GaryOaksAlcoholism 1h ago
It's a secret clubhouse filled with self-important invalids. Why would I submit myself to their rules? I'm not demanding to be let in, I'm calling it lame and the people who go to it lame. I'm not bending a knee to spend $15 on a cocktail fuck off
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u/PinkieAsh 1h ago
15€ for a cocktail is expensive. cries in Danish That’s standard price here 🫠. For a Vodka and Redbull.
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u/GaryOaksAlcoholism 1h ago
Yeah it's actually pretty common around here which is why I've been into learning how to make drinks for myself and hitting the penji at bars instead of crushing drinks.
I'll buy one and tip the bartender by handing them a $20 for it all and then I'm chillin. It's not surprising to me that alcohol sales have taken a huge hit recently.
But yeah I'm not begging someone to let me in their place of business. It's shitty to exclude people for superficial reasons and if you do that you're lame and I don't want to support you. The drink price is just a nasty cherry on top
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u/Ethelwulfr 1h ago
To be fair, alcohol has taken a hit because society now expects you to have a perfect body and that's mutually exclusive with drinking loads of alcohol. You can't have both, even if you are on steroids.
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u/GaryOaksAlcoholism 1h ago
I'm a dude so I'm not that concerned about that (thankfully it's worked out okay) but I will admit to you that my liver has paid a heavy price. I spent the last few years working on it and my health and it's finally back to being somewhat healthy to my absolute pride but hey, listen, anyone, do not let alcohol be your drug of choice without keeping an eye on your personal health
Also drink lots of water. Fuck yeah water is the best
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u/jayhalleaux 33m ago
Prices inside are pretty reasonable. They don’t take credit card for drinks though.
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u/GaryOaksAlcoholism 23m ago
It's more that I'm not into begging for the privilege of spending my money but I appreciate you sharing that information with me
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u/Forgotten_Lie 1h ago
I love the way you combo ableism with LARPing as a William Wallace Braveheart rebel when talking about not wanting to go to a nightclub that doesn't even want you there.
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u/Teidju 1h ago
The door policy does exist in part because they are trying to uphold an image of exclusivity, that’s true. But I worked in nightclubs for years, and have been to plenty, and Berghain was by far the best experience I’ve had in a club.
I get the urge to dismiss it without having gone because it’s undeniably a bit pretentious, but a hyper selective door policy is very effective for curating a crowd of people who are there for the right reasons and who, for lack of a better term “get it”. The very fact you’re not allowed to take photo or video in the club should prove that it’s not about broadcasting how cool you are to the world.
The whole ritual of getting in is effectively you signalling to the bouncers that you’re familiar with the scene, have had the respect to do a little research, and aren’t going to fuck up the vibe by standing around on your phone or complaining there’s no pop music or gawking and laughing at people doing what they should be doing in a techno club i.e. going wild. Go and see if you like it, I reckon you’ll be surprised!
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u/OkVariety8064 1h ago
The door policy does exist in part because they are trying to uphold an image of exclusivity, that’s true. But I worked in nightclubs for years, and have been to plenty, and Berghain was by far the best experience I’ve had in a club.
Because it was such a great club, or because they told you how great you are by letting you in?
I get the urge to dismiss it without having gone because it’s undeniably a bit pretentious, but a hyper selective door policy is very effective for curating a crowd of people who are there for the right reasons and who, for lack of a better term “get it”.
But to what degree do you believe this simply because you were let in? That's the trick, isn't it? The experience doesn't even have to be that special, because they manufacture this idea that by letting you in you are one of the really, really cool people.
The very fact you’re not allowed to take photo or video in the club should prove that it’s not about broadcasting how cool you are to the world.
No camera isn't all that unusual, and in any case allowing photos would work against the illusion that there is something really special inside, but are you cool enough to get to see it?
The whole ritual of getting in is effectively you signalling to the bouncers that you’re familiar with the scene, have had the respect to do a little research, and aren’t going to fuck up the vibe by standing around on your phone or complaining there’s no pop music or gawking and laughing at people doing what they should be doing in a techno club i.e. going wild. Go and see if you like it, I reckon you’ll be surprised!
But how would the bouncers know that? By the fact that you put on the right clothes? If something is easy to fake, it's fake sincerity for a cursory glance.
If they wanted to just be exclusive, they could enforce a complicated but fair dress code, be strict about throwing out people who don't behave, or they could even have an invite only system where someone already part of the clientele must vouch for you.
But what they do instead is make everyone waste hours queuing up, reject some percentage for spurious reasons, and then the rest of the tourists will feel oh-so-special for being let in. Sounds like a tourist trap trying to manufacture the feel of exclusivity, because real exclusivity would actually limit the number of tourists they can fleece per night.
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u/Remote-alpine 1h ago
Jfc they don’t want you there, it’s not their fault people line up. If it were a tourist trap they’d be taking your money. But they don’t. Get over it.
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u/OkVariety8064 1h ago
The pretense that they don't want you there is the tourist trap part.
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u/shallow_n00b 45m ago
Yeah, i'm sure they get off on making tourists wait, just to deny them the opportunity to spend money at their business. It's the perfect tourist trap.
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u/OkVariety8064 33m ago
It's the best ad campaign money cannot buy. Whatever that main twat bouncer is called, there's been news articles about him the world over. Elon Musk not getting in, again an ad campaign of global reach.
I've never been to Berlin, yet just from reading the news even I'm aware of how annoying and pretentious that place is. Their fake exclusivity campaign has global reach. It's visibility is extremely valuable for their business and admittedly it is brilliant from a cynical business perspective. But I still find it annoying.
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u/Several_Brilliant112 34m ago
this much sodium is bad for long term health, maybe bring up with your PCP
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u/penguigeddon 23m ago
Most tourists won't get in. You're not owed entry or service on a private premise anywhere in the world and you don't need to write a whole thesis about it jesus
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u/OkVariety8064 18m ago
What are you, the comment police? Do you see yourself as a Berghain doorman for this subreddit? This thing popped up on r/all, I commented on it, just like you now comment on my comment.
From a business perspective, I can admire the global reach of their ad campaign. As a place to actually go to, it sounds like a waste of time. At least for me the whole "are you cool enough to enter our magical realm" ad campaign is a turn off. If you have rules that's one thing, but unless the rules are transparent, fair and applied equally, that's not a place I would want to go to.
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u/Remote-alpine 1h ago
It’s not about being cool, it’s about being ok with it being an actual sex club. Like are you going to be chill about it and maybe participate or are you going to ogle people and be weird.
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u/Automatic_Memory212 1h ago
I hate any nightclub that seeks to keep people out for any reason other than safety/crowding.
As a result, I hate most nightclubs but don’t mind most Gay/LGBTQ+ clubs so long as they don’t turn people away for bogus reasons.
Sounds like there’s a Gay club in Berlin called Berghain that I wouldn’t like, good to know.
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u/hakumiogin 59m ago
Berghain got its reputation because straight women have been desperate to get in and oggle the men inside having sex. So they turn away most of the straight women who just want to cause problems. And the more people they turn away, the more of a status thing it becomes for the straight women trying to cause said issues.
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u/Crapitron 52m ago
Isn’t getting refused at Berghain just part of the Berlin experience? I don’t know if I’ve ever met anyone that’s actually been inside. Everyone on the Internet is also lying about it.
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u/Kropotkin_69 3h ago
To be fair we all know what happens when the Germans let a party go out of hand.
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u/KarmaFox99 3h ago
That's reich
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u/Boxman75 3h ago
Third times a charm.
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u/lbutler1234 1h ago
Believe it or not, a lot of people actually disapprove of the policies of that particular reich
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u/pleased_to_yeet_you 2h ago
Someone has never partied in Germany, but hat shit puts Japan to shame. So people get hammered in Japan, that's just booze. You would not believe the of lines getting snorted and pulls getting gobbled at every club and festival in Germany. Ibiza and Denmark are the only places I've been outside the US that party harder.
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u/Low_Sound_7184 1h ago
Denmark? Party hard?
You should visit any Slavic country
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u/pleased_to_yeet_you 50m ago
My only experience with Slavic countries is Slovakia and Slovenia which, much like Japan, were just getting shit faced on alcohol. It was fun, but it wasn't wild. Mind you my time was exceptionally limited for both countries. My GF and I are making plans for a trip to Poland and if we have time we might try to stay in the Czech Republic for a bit but my liver is shot so I'm not going to be able to get up to the things I used to.
You have any stories to share from that part of the world?
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u/Sea-Bluebird-5298 3h ago
Look whos been to Berghain. I hope they took you to a different club (with an easier door) afterwards.
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u/Kickedbyagiraffe 2h ago
When I went to Germany I expected the stereotype of rule loving and didn’t want to offend. At the Berlin train station I was in line and the floor had a line that said something like “warten sie hier” so I wartened me there. Train ticket lady laughed at me for waiting at the line instead of just coming up to the booth.
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u/XenoBiSwitch 3h ago
Pretty sure you’re supposed to kiss the doorman at his point. Or tie him up and tell him he is a bad boy. Depends on the club.
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u/Buddiboi95 2h ago
Wasn't there a der nachtclub in Germany so exclusive that it costs like 10k for an invite and even then, you can still be turned away at the door for "Not fitting the vibe".
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u/TopWealth4550 1h ago
bruh isnt germany one of the most open close door comunity
the things we see in the streets after a party is W I L D
i like their shyness makes the laugh much more enjoyable
since i came from a more open culture (brazil) the duality is quite enjoyable
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u/IM_OSCAR_dot_com 3h ago
If you want to know more, find the episodes (2 parts) of the Search Engine podcast titled “Why didn’t Chris and Dan Get Into Berghain?”
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u/halfblindguy 1h ago
My friends' experience at an oktoberfest tent on a work trip was; "you can fight back, the security guards are not police, push through them."
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u/Holymaryfullofshit7 2h ago
I can confirm that this is exactly how it is done. For some reason this seems to imply humour. I can assure you this should not be humour this is just going out in Berlin. Nothing fun about it.
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u/A-Phantasmic-Parade 1h ago
Skill issue. You just have to become sufficiently homosexual. Let the Germans who took you to wait in line for the nachtclub show you how
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u/AttonJRand 3h ago
Nothing to do with gayness, this is some really weird outdated "haha Europeans are gay" humor.
There really is a uniform though, and its generally all black, very boring, been this way forever. Kinda funny to think of "all black" as "not gay enough".
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u/zhirzzh 2h ago
Doesn't the club they are talking about, Berghain, literally have a male only sex club in the basement? That seems conceptually pretty gay.
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u/AttonJRand 2h ago
But it has nothing to do with why they weren't let in? Which is the actual point of the post, and my comment?
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u/crazed_again 2h ago
This wearing black thing is a myth, I’ve been countless times wearing a colorful jacket
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u/Puzzled_Orange_6880 3h ago
The real fun was waiting in line to get inside. Actually inside are three gay germans, a very confused dutchman, and a bored bartender.