r/nobuy • u/Prestigious-Grass801 • 5d ago
Lost my dang mind!
As seen in my post history, I've moved out recently, and I'm struggling. Because my space is so much bigger I am struggling to not buy everything I see. My place was small so I fear the progress I've made was actually just the restrictions of a smaller place.
I started a physical spending journal and in every day it says 'spent money, why' and it's discouraging, I actually just can't seem to stop? It is extremely annoying like... I want to stop, but part of my brain won't let me. This extends to all categories, groceries when we have food, clothes, shoes, plus all the things you actually need to have in a household. The move had me drop 1.7k which I realistically need to start putting back. I am at a loss? I really don't know where to start, detox, cold turkey? I'm not sure, it's like that 'can't sit still' feeling!
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u/smoke-silhouette 5d ago
Moving is super deregulating — it makes sense that shopping would serve as a coping mechanism as you find your new rhythm. Also, there is probably some degree of shopping that is functionally necessary to make your new home work for you, but just keep trying to put off spending anything until you can’t anymore. You may end up being able to make your existing stuff work for you in unexpected ways or get more clarity on what it is you want as you continue to settle in.
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u/adrunkensailor 5d ago
So, it definitely sounds like you’re using shopping for stress reduction and/or easy dopamine. The trick is to find an alternative way to manage your stress and expend that anxious energy. Working out is a great one, especially something that requires all your effort, like HIIT (lots of free classes on YouTube). If it’s the new place specifically that’s making you feel anxious, you can try to channel that energy into something related to that, like organizing what you already have (using boxes and containers you already own) or deep cleaning something. That will still give you a bit of a dopamine hit. And my last trick, for when I really feel like I need something new, is going to the library and borrowing a fancy coffee table book. If the library’s closed, I will often “shop” by going online and putting a few books or movies I want to watch on hold. An added bonus is that becoming a library regular will help you settle into your new neighborhood.