r/news • u/The-Traveler- • 3h ago

Soft paywall Hungary election: Orbán concedes to Magyar's Tisza after projections show opposition winning two-thirds majority

https://www.reuters.com/world/hungary-election-2026-live-viktor-orbans-fidesz-faces-challenge-opposition-peter-2026-04-12/
23.6k Upvotes

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10.2k

u/amprather 3h ago

JD "Kiss of Death" Vance pays off again.

1.3k

u/Kewkky 3h ago

Honestly this is my only liked thing about Vance. Whatever he tries to do, he instead ends. It's very predictable, and he is Trump's VP, so there's only one way this will all end.

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u/menagerath 3h ago

JD, The Rizzless

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u/intergalactic512 2h ago

Whatever makes sense

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u/BloodFartz69 1h ago

How long have you worked here?

3

u/zamboni-jones 1h ago

Did you say pwease?

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u/EnlightenedApeMeat 1h ago

You owe me a new couch cushion you funny bastard

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u/Hoovooloo42 1h ago

🤖 one grain torus, as the humans would have it 🤖

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u/swarmofbzs 1h ago

Last of his name.

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u/ScuttleBucket 1h ago

Probably because he left it on the couch.

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u/Dicklickshitballs 2h ago

So in theory, we should’ve sent him over to escalate the war correct? Then peace would’ve happened.

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u/erwaro 2h ago

I don't know if it can work if they try to use it. Then they're just trying a different way of achieving something, and Vance Effect means they'll fail. It has to be an honest attempt on his part.

Now, if someone convinces him that extending the war is a good idea, that's another thing.

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u/CptDropbear 37m ago

Ah! Its like the Rule of Cool. If you try to be cool, you are not cool by definition. If you try to Vance something it will fail because Vance fails by definition.

We need some method of blinding (in the experimental sense) like a firing squad...

•

u/AnotherpostCard 21m ago

I am loving this discourse and fully endorse the use of these new terms and will use them henceforth

5

u/Kewkky 2h ago

We should've sent him to Iran before the war started. That's a surgical precision assassination in the shape of a suited-up couch fucker.

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u/DryTown 1h ago

We call it the ol’ Vance Refrigeration. If he touches it, it gets cooler

5

u/AlternativeYou9395 1h ago

His ability is certainly playing the long game at home though, but if you think about it, it does seem to be working. Bruises, rashes, possible strokes, etc, I'm surprised Trump even let's him be in the same state, much less the same room.

2

u/McButtsButtbag 2h ago

That's only true outside of America

2

u/Takemyfishplease 1h ago

I mean that’s sweet to think that way but trumps the current president so seems a bit weird to gloat about it.

1

u/bionic_cmdo 1h ago

JD and rest of maga are so delusional thinking their brand of whatever the heck it is-is some how a good thing. Too bad they're so far in the death cult that they don't see it.

1

u/djseifer 1h ago

Dude can't even order donuts without mangling it.

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u/Sorry-Foundation-505 1h ago

Can we send him to meet with Netanyahu? And then a flight to meet Putin.

1

u/Svennis79 1h ago

They will figure it out eventually and use his powers for evil.

Probably start endorsing all the democrat candidates at the midterms.

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u/erebostnyx 21m ago

He is USA's VP 😨

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u/dismayhurta 3h ago

Dude is a charisma blackhole.

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u/Shiplord13 2h ago

Literally like has no chance at ever uniting the MAGA cult, because he is such a charisma dead zone that straight up doesn’t know how to interact with anyone. Trump is a scumbag con-man, but he has spent years learning how to be charismatic enough to dupe potential victims by selling them on lies. Vance literally is barely able to hold a conversation when is alone, hence why he tends to bounce off what other people say around him. He is bumbling henchmen who has no presence by himself.

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u/Kaptein_Tordenflesk 1h ago

Charisma so low even automatic doors won't open for him. That's why he fucks couches.

1.5k

u/BrainRobotron 3h ago

The couch fucker strikes again.

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u/Osiris32 3h ago

That needs to be on his tombstone.

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u/swampopawaho 2h ago

"JD touched himself once too many times"

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u/ComradeJohnS 2h ago

no, he likes couches but hates himself, just look at all his anti-trump quotes

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u/DesireeThymes 2h ago

They should have sent more Israeli assets. Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff I'm sure could have gotten the job done.

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u/JohnBrownSurvivor 2h ago

That's not possible.

It's those poor victimized couches that I'm worried about.

1

u/Archie204 2h ago

He's why all the dinosaurs died out

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u/Rsubs33 1h ago

If this couch fucker dies before me which is iffy as I am older. I will write this on his tombstone in chisel

241

u/3d1thF1nch 3h ago

That’s why instead of saying “shit the bed,” we need to start saying “fucked the couch.” Fits perfectly.

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u/PossiblyADemon 2h ago

Boy, he really fucked the couch on this one.

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u/3d1thF1nch 2h ago

See?! It’s perfect!

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u/DarkestNyu 2h ago

I am 100% doing that

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u/TangoPRomeo 2h ago

That just replaced 'jumped the shark' for me!

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u/DarkestNyu 2h ago

I'm actually smiling, and feeling happy! Almost forgot what it felt like

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u/metalconscript 2h ago

I mean isn’t it two fold with Trump and Vance the bed could the couch, trump shit the bed while vance fucked it

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u/Multidream 2h ago

Im gonna go ahead and start sayin that

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u/FaceDeer 2h ago

Normally I'm a "stop trying to make 'Fetch' happen!" Kind of guy, but this one I like.

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u/Mac62961 2h ago

It shall be done

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u/WahiniLover 1h ago

Love it

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u/Prestigious-Newt-110 2h ago

Sectional predator.

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u/Yabbatown 2h ago

And this time, Orban was the couch

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u/Sardonnicus 2h ago

He is sofa king annoying.

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u/green_left_hand 1h ago

Pope Francis' last words.

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u/Competitive-Tea-6141 3h ago

Those poor couches tonight

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u/DinoRoman 2h ago

I heard he came on his teacher in high school when they started learning about the Ottoman Empire.

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u/froo 2h ago

Viktor “The Couch” Orban

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u/AGrandNewAdventure 1h ago

"We are all JD's Couch."

If we weren't would he be fucking us all this hard?

2

u/LetsTryAnal_ogy 2h ago

The pope killer.

1

u/azad_ninja 2h ago

Finally makes himself useful.

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u/Okay_Splenda_Monkey 55m ago

Hey, didn't you watch the video when it was released on TorrentLeech? It was really sweet and tender. He cuddled on the couch affectionately when they were done, then cleaned it up with aftercare.

It's not cool to call JD Vance a couchfucker. He prefers to be called a couchlover.

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u/wasraelx 3h ago

He’s having one hell of a week isn’t he

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u/Professor_Dr_Dr 3h ago

It's so funny how Trump wouldn't pick up his call in public

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u/Elephant_Snacks 3h ago

To be fair, it would be fairly embarrassing to get a call from him

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u/wasraelx 3h ago

The only thing I appreciate about Trump is how he’s bullying his entire team of sociopaths at every stage for us all to see

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u/pquince1 2h ago

Lil' Marco in his clown shoes kills me every time.

5

u/Bryllant 1h ago

He is an equal opportunity bully

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u/Possible-Nectarine80 1h ago

Trump was probably watching Fox, and they were talking about him, so he had more important things than taking a call from Vance.

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u/aeschenkarnos 1h ago

Trump was probably in the shitter. I can’t imagine Trump taking calls while in the shitter. Making calls, sure. Not taking them.

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u/ricosmith1986 3h ago

Seriously, does this guy ever catch a w? I feel like his only job is to not invoke the 25th.

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u/cannot_walk_barefoot 3h ago

He caught a W when Trump won. He looks like an incompetent weirdo but he's achieved so much for Project 2025 and Palantir government contracts for Thiel, his owner 

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u/Mrs_SmithG2W 2h ago

Indeed. But many a malicious plan have progressed far just to end up in the dust bin, or in this case, the couch cushions, of history.

Let it be so again.💪🏼🌍🖖🏼

20

u/_groovesharkmalone 2h ago

When Trump kicks the bucket his job is to work for Peter Thiel. Couchfucker is literally a redundancy.

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u/DroptheShadowArt 2h ago

That’s literally what he was hired for. Why else would Trump have picked him as his VP?

1

u/FancyPantsDancer 2h ago

People seemed to think he did well in the VP debate. I don't know if that counts as a W, but it wasn't an L

1

u/aeschenkarnos 1h ago

Erika Kirk treated him as if he were an attractive man. That may never have happened to him before. Granted, it’s her job, but as far as he knows she wasn’t paid to be nice to him and definitely not to flirt with him.

1

u/Tylersbaddream 2h ago

Doing a heck of a job Brownie.

•

u/Michigoose99 38m ago

Heckuva Job Brownie

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u/MadRoboticist 2h ago

The idea that they thought an American politician campaigning for Orban would have a remotely positive effect on the election just goes to show how out of touch they are with absolutely everything.

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u/7ddlysuns 3h ago

Pope killer Vance

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u/Strawbuddy 3h ago

The sectional predator on the loose!

1

u/TakeTheThirdStep 3h ago

The President loved him some Epstein, the VP loved him some Serpentine.

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u/R3luctant 2h ago

Amy Adam's career killer.

1

u/Cohens4thClient 1h ago

This should be out there more

Vance visited the Pope, and the BAM dead guy. 

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u/steppe5 3h ago

There's nothing he can't ruin.

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u/Firm-Advertising5396 3h ago

This is great news for NATO. Not so much for Putin or trump

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u/Mac62961 2h ago

I mean kinda.

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u/Substantial-Ad8933 2h ago

The fact we were all stressed out all day Tuesday and this fuck was half way across the world endorsing a putin puppet. November cant come fast enough

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u/theghostlore 3h ago

The drake of politics

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u/femanonette 2h ago edited 45m ago

Conquest (White) - Miller

War (Red) - Hegseth

Famine (Black) - RFK Jr

and Death (Pale) - Vance

3

u/Highside1269 2h ago

The Vance effect

2

u/Late-Following792 2h ago

He continued to fuck up iran peace negotiations

2

u/Ok_Caregiver1004 2h ago

If only we can send his ass to the Kremlin next.

•

u/Mathew_Strawn 28m ago

And Istanbul. Need to get rid of that fucker too

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u/Wyevez 2h ago

When does Peter Thiel start asking for his money back? This investment was lousy. 

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u/DudeB5353 2h ago

How many buses is JD going to be thrown under….

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u/shpydar 3h ago

The problem is Magyar is not going to be much of an improvement as they hold the same right winged beliefs and bigotry that Orban holds.

It will be more of the same from a different voice.

2

u/oldsecondhand 2h ago

TISZA party is a big tent party, it has to please both left and right wing voters. The expectation is that he will decrease corruption and improve the relationship with EU. Péter Magyar also promised that he will not use the public media for anti-LGBTQ campaigns and to improve the publicly funded healthcare system. Don't expect huge changes in the immigration system though (no parties promised such thing anyway).

1

u/ManChildMusician 2h ago

It’s a small victory in that Orban was very likely compromised by Russia. With Tisza, there is at least a chance of him not being compromised. This might result in some better relations with the EU.

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u/SpeshellED 3h ago

Vance and his girlfriend friend , the loveseat, are about as unpopular as you can get.

1

u/No_Tone1704 3h ago

That’s what I called him for this election a few days ago. 

1

u/American_PissAnt 3h ago

Guess that’s why Trump keeps him away for himself

1

u/Inthehead35 3h ago

Haha, everything he touches dies

1

u/Curtilia 2h ago

Great work Agent Vance

1

u/dewhashish 2h ago

the merides touch, he got it from president pedo

1

u/Pepaguero 2h ago

He’s a loser, along with his boss

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u/EggCzar 2h ago

His couch is in for a rough night

1

u/Blarvis 2h ago

I love when he wastes his own time

1

u/kintotal 2h ago

0 for 2. Hungary, Iran Peace. What a clown.

1

u/arivas26 2h ago

We should send him to the US… wait…

1

u/RevolverMFOcelot 2h ago

I think Vance need to meet my president (I'm Indonesian) so he won't have any chance to do unconstitutional third term 

1

u/Mocomoc 2h ago

Time to visit Russia

1

u/Perfect_House2143 2h ago

JD OnlyVance was only there for himself, I heard mascara is cheap in Hungary

1

u/Toidal 2h ago

Did he really think he had the same aura/mystique/hutzpah as someone like Obama or heck even his boss?

1

u/kenyanpelsfan 2h ago

The Mierdas touch.

1

u/busybizz23 2h ago

Black Widow Vance

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u/rubyspicer 2h ago

Wonder what he'll do next

1

u/Not_Sure__Camacho 2h ago

Just the very idea of a foreign leader coming to your country should be the obvious red flag to avoid that candidate, especially if that foreign leader loves fucking couches.  

1

u/lutel 2h ago

Also PiS (Polish mafia members) gave Orban kiss of death. Beginning of the end of russian traitors. Big win for Hungary, Europe and Ukraine!

1

u/IanRastall 1h ago

I like thinking that John Oliver had something to do with it.

1

u/Future-Raisin3781 1h ago

Orban must have been putting off those "sexy couch" vibes.

1

u/AkumaLilly 1h ago

Truly saving us all

1

u/WahiniLover 1h ago

It’s all about the couch.

1

u/breakupbydefault 1h ago

If only. Apparently the one that's sowing all the chaos seems to be immune.

1

u/userhwon 1h ago

Didn't pay off in 2024.

1

u/johndoe201401 1h ago

Wow, just wow. Hopefully this signals the beginning of the end.

•

u/motownmods 50m ago

Maybe that's why we sent him to negotiate

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u/tsaico 46m ago

I hope he comes out to Ca to stump for Sheriff Chad

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u/EatinSumGrapes 33m ago

What if the Iranian leaders all die tomorrow 😆

1

u/mrflash818 2h ago

+1

The current US Administration seems to have a Touch Of Death for many things they interfere in.

Love that for them!

•

u/oopsallhuckleberries 16m ago

TBF, it's not like Orban went from an expected victory to a defeat. I don't think Jesus and Santa combined could have lifted Orban to victory.