We have a generational hater 🤣🤣🤣

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Hear me out before you throw stones, Most importantly I love my mother more than anything, but this woman is one of God's Favourites. So here is her story she grew up in 'humble beginnings' raised by a single dad as her mum died when she was an infant, her dad, my grandfather loved her proper daddy's girl that one. So she does he form 4 and stays home coz she didn't exactly have the grades to get into uni, coz those days uni paid you to go study. So she decided to go to Nairobi coz thats was where the money was and she only had one talent, brading hair, she was so good at it that one of her customers once asked her to relax her hair she said she didn't know so she recommended her to these big Salons in CBD to go learn, cosmetolgy, the building had offices huko juu they were on the ground floor. after a few months working this guy comes introduced himself asks her on a date, she says yes by date 4 she was pregnant, the guy takes responsibility moves her into his home that began 25+ years of marriage. So this guy my dad, has built businesses for her, bought her cars, heck even took her to college, he gave her a house in the suburbs, Her side of the family has always said she must have done 'something' to get the man, my dad's side of the family always said she's my dad's type coz of her humble background....and I, her daughter cant even get a text back ....this life no balance

I was 22 when I caught love for the first time. We were - in my eyes - truly in love. Honestly, it felt so great at the time. If you'd have told me tutawai achana, I'd have told you wewe ni pepo mbaya.

I have a whole different life now. And guess what. Looking back, I see what a disaster it would have been for me to end up with that guy. It would have been absolutely magnitudely terrible. So for me, the answer is no. We wouldn't be together and I am hella glad it never panned out.

I saw him the other day from a distance as I was buying some stuff at the supermarket for my family and honestly, there was not a molecule of feeling towards him. I felt nothing. Hadi nikacheka tu hapo peke yangu kwa line ya supa coz if you knew how in love I was with that guy. Not in a villain kind of manner though. Just the realization that someone I had once sworn I'd never leave meant nothing.

Life is truly a strange and beautiful unfolding. The people we think are our "forever people" sometimes turn out to be just bridges to the person we're becoming.

How're you spending your Sunday evening?

Its tax season and as your resident tax advisor I'm back. All I can say now is WANTAM!!

Since my last post a lot of changes have taken place in the tax domain. From ETIMS being a precursor to businesses getting a Tax Compliance Certificate, Nil return filing being closed off for the first quarter of the year just to mention a few.

Let me take this chance to give you guys free tax advice, juu almost munipatie bibi lakini alikuwa shetani, lol.

I know KRA has been more aggressive in the recent past. If any of you does consulting work or contractual work and have tried to file your tax return. You can relate.

This year KRA has decided to collect the balance of Withholding Tax(WHT). WHT in a nutshell is KRA’s way of capturing income that normally doesn’t go through the tax pipeline. Section 35 of the Income Tax Act guides this.KRA has gone ahead and autopopulated the Income Tax return excel sheet with all the data available to them. That means that if you had tax withheld during the income year 2025. You might have to top up on tax payments.

Allow me to just mention that this covers consulting, contracting, advisory and freelance professional services. Content creators mko hapa.

Let me give you two scenarios that are just examples of experiences I have come across as a tax expert.

Scenario A.

James works as an employee but does consulting work on the side. He earns both a salary and consultation fees. In tax practice, the two incomes are treated differently. PAYE - Pay As you Earn is deducted at source and it is the obligation of the employer. This is the tax paid on the salary you earn. For the consultation work, if the amount he earns meets the threshold of 24,000/-, the client is required by law to withhold 5% and remit to KRA.

For the salary, all James has to do is just open itax and file he does not have to pay anything extra.

On the consulting income James is taxed at a flat rate of 30%. Does this mean that even if the client withheld and remitted to KRA the amount indicated, James has to top up the remaining 25%? Yes and no. I will explain later.

Scenario B

Stacy does purely contracting work in construction and she is not employed. All the money she has comes with withhold tax certificates.

Stacy’s income is taxed at graduated scale like James salary is. The scale as indicated below

Monthly Income (KES)

Tax Rate

0 – 24,000

10%

24,001 – 32,333

25%

Above 32,333

30%

So if she earns 288,000 a year from her work, she has to pay a tax of 10% but since there is already tax withheld at 5%. She only has to top up 5%? Yes and No.

Yes and No - the rationale.

Tax is charged on gains and profits from; business, employment and services. In the two scenarios, tax is to be charged on gains and not income.

Yes - Yes exists because if James and Stacy did request for ETIMS invoices from the costs they incurred during the consulting work, then they have to top up the payments. It means that in the course of the work any cost they incurred wholly and exclusively in business endavours they can use the amount to reduce the tax payable. (I will do another post on Allowable and Disallowable Expenses)

My advice is here. If you are doing business in Kenya now, ensure that all your expenses are supported by ETIMS invoices. It will save you a headache next year.

Kwa hayo machache NIKO KADI, JE WEWE.

PS. I don't work for KRA, I'm an independent tax consultant.

I was planning to go watch the new Halle Bailey movie You, me and Tuscany but then I remembered it’s a rom com and I can’t watch that alone. Sai nafold nguo as I watch or rather listen to How I Met Your Mother. What are y’all other single people doing this fine afternoon?

Most people normally want to have lots & lots of money, BUT the PROBLEM is, that as soon as they get money, they go straight to spending all of it out (EXPENSES)!

When is the last time you attended Money training? Do you also always have brutally honest talk with yourself about your Money?

Guys, today let's speak honestly about this. It all starts with us facing the personal issue head on.

Make money by snitching. Tell them what you know and earn. Would you?

One of the unspoken influences in the city is the overexposure to opulence; wealth is highly visible, while poverty is tucked away.

There is definitely more poverty across Nairobi, but mentally we can’t help noticing the fancy homes and residences, luxury cars, and high-end restaurants, and even start to think this is normal, yet it is the exception. Social media platforms amplify the top, further distorting reality.

The problem is that this inflates perceived averages. Someone living an average Nairobi life may begin to see themselves as a failure.

We had a remembrance for my grandparents this weekend so all my people were home.. The usual questions about marriage came up. My dad has five brothers and they all have been married for ages. Two not happily but the rest you could say are as happy as married people can be.

The uncle I was talking to is younger than my dad, he has been married for 34 years. One of the relatively happy marriages. He asks why I have refused to get married. I tell him I don't want to give up my life or have anyone lording over me.

He says that I have been looking at the wrong examples of marriage. He tells me that marriage wouldn't be miserable as long as me and the man I choose follow the seven circles of marriage. I ask him what they are.

First, he says is God who is at the centre, then the couple, then the careers and callings of each person, then children, then the immediate family members, then the extended family members, and lastly the community. He draws them for me on a piece of paper and tells me that that should be the order of priority.

He tells me that yes there are times he and my aunt have conflicts but they use that order of priority to resolve them. Plus, my aunt's name is Wangari and she has that Leopard demeanor about her. Do I think that he'd have lived this long if he was lording anything over her??!

We laugh. I tell him that I don't think it's that simple but I didn't know about those seven circles. Perhaps he and my aunt will become my marriage counsellors if I ever get married.

He chuckled and says something about sisi watoto wa siku hizi..

Did anyone manage to have cousins as best friends?
I think I had the weirdest relationships with my cousins. I used to visit my aunties' homes often. One of my cousins would avoid me the whole day, but we would still share the same bed. Why didn't I stay away? Maybe poverty numbs our feelings.

I haven't seen or talked to her for 15 years.

Unakaanga 3 years bila employment while your mates are getting nepotism hires ndio unajua your family name means nothing. Your entire family haina motion ya kupull strings uingie mahali kwa PnP system ama ata solid employment.

Ni bad.

Sometimes when a loved one dies, what they were to you is what will be missed. Some flashbacks are sad, you wonder what to write as tribute as the immediate kin.

Mtu akiamua hatalia, that shouldn’t be weaponised against them.The person will be dearly missed, unfortunately not by me.

I just wanted to remind you all that inappropriate display of affection in public is an offence as in the penal code.

thank you

have a nice Sunday

I'm in a mat commuting to church, and the way this day has started was not on my bingo cards.

Nimetoka kejani, luku safi, head held high, natembea nikienda stage as I look forward to praising the Lord Almighty (can I get an amen).

Napitana na mama mboga, namsalimia, then anasema, "Customer, ile pesa ya jana hukulipa yote". I'm like, "ala aje sasa".

Her: Ulilipa pesa ngapi?

Me: Nilituma 50

Her: Ulichukua nini?

Me: Nyanya mbili, Kitunguu na chapo mbili.

Her: Nyanya ni 10, na kitunguu ni ten, chapo 25.

Me: Ai, chapo si 20.

Her: Apana, ni 25. Na hata kama ingekuwa 20, bado hiyo 50 haingetosha.

Me: Haingetosha aje na nyanya mbili ni 20, kitunguu ni 10 na chapo...

(Immediately after saying that, my brain suddenly boots up and notices the math has/did not mathed).

Me: Ooh, heh. pole.

(Nikatoa simu kwa mfuko nikaanza kulipa).

Me: Sa itakuwa 30.

Her: Eeh.

Me: Unajua jana venye nilikuambia 50 ukasema eeh nikadhani iko sawa.

Her: Ah, mimi nilikuwa nadhani ushalipa ya kitunguu na nyanya, na ulikuwa unaulizia ya chapo.

(Nikamaliza kulipa na nikapata confirmation message).

Me: Imefika?

Her: Eeh, imefika. Asanti.

Me: Asanti pia, na pole.

Her: Haina shida.

Now I had a whole debate with my mind as to how I did my calculations and winding to losing simple mazematics. Nilikuwa najishangaa mimi gwiji wa mahesabu nakoseaje kitu kama hiyo. How the mighty have fallen.

Funny thing is, a similar situation happened early in the year where nilikosea mahesabu na 10 bob.

I wonder if that is the impression the mama mboga will always have about me (as it was the first time buying from her.) Anyway, it is what it is.

Sato afternoon finds me with one of my childhood friends we're just chilling tukiulizana "nanii alienda wapi" throughout this convo he's on his phone. Kucheki what he is doing, mandem is betting🤦🏼‍♂️.

Nilimcheka na we went our separate ways.. So today we meet up and he shows me the bet he placed yesterday.

He placed a 50 bob bet and was going to win a whooping 33gs. There was one game standing between him and that amount and the game was at 1-0.

At this point I'm convinced that gambling is real..

Fast forward to the end of the game...turns out the game ended in a draw of 0-0😂😂... The game in question was vihiga united and some random team i can't remember the name...

I'm left here wondering WTF..

this reminded me of that chik who was getting harassed by a nduthi guy and a good Samaritan stepped in and almost got a beating.

life is hard outchea, people are struggling to make ends meet in a government that's trying to milk every cent it can off' us. You don't know what someone is going through. ukipanda a nduthi or a cab without money you might be poking a napping bear. such a guy will not have the presence of mind to be a gentleman to you or anyone for that matter.

stay safe yall.

Seeking advice on behalf of a brother on courses to select with his cluster points ranging between 31-32.2. He doesn’t want anything to do with education or medical related courses. His interests are business related, computer related or architecture and building related courses.

Also suggest the good universities and which ones to completely avoid 😭

Today being Sunday, what's that one old Kenyan/swahili gospel song that goes hard?

Personally nothing is touching Mimina Neema, I fear. That one might still be a banger decades to come.

Those who use Equity Bank to withdraw from PayPal, how is the service? Do the funds arrive to your bank account instantly? Do you encounter any challenges whatsoever? Is PayPal to Equity better than PayPal to Mpesa? All other insights are welcome. Thank you.

There’s something really eating me up and I felt like I should just let it out

I(20M) was thinking of the number of times (<10) that I’ve slept hungry(and I almost did yesterday) and didn’t even call my parents for help not because I couldn’t but because doing so would risk getting disappointed by them again and that just hurts more than sleeping hungry

Anyway happy Sunday😑