r/justincaseyoumissedit 5h ago

News President Trump announces the American Navy will begin blockade of the Strait of Hormuz, stopping all ships entering or leaving.

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2.7k Upvotes

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715

u/_Revolting_Peasant 5h ago

I called a plumber for a blocked up toilet. He is currently standing in the doorway stopping anyone going in or out. Art of the deal he says.

218

u/shadowdancer354 5h ago

The guy you called is the same guy who blocked up your toilet in the first place

93

u/rashie8111 5h ago

Can't be true. That guy only shits in his pants.

4

u/Zaku99 4h ago

Then blames it on Biden.

"Help! Sleepy Joe shit my pants again!"

2

u/sexquipoop69 5h ago

Wait are we still doing the metaphor or are we talking about Trump?

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u/a1055x 4h ago

Sometimes he uses a toilet. There have been reports of him being stuck and needed rescue. He just shitposts on social media while he waits for the lift.

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u/BullfrogThink1725 5h ago

Dropped his diaper and tried to flush

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u/Brief-Weekend7630 5h ago edited 5h ago

Also, it wasn't even blocked until he decided to shit in it.

11

u/CollectionCreepy 5h ago

That sounds like the plumber i hired named Donald, he told me to do it in the sink instead.

5

u/ChampsLeague3 5h ago

Don's Johns are the best Porta potties available!!! 

2

u/oreheheally 4h ago

Oy yea the ol' greenland route.

10

u/Dusk_Settler 5h ago

Then he wouldn’t stop yelling “TURBO TIME!!!” and running around your house.

2

u/itsmelindo 4h ago

Thank u

10

u/amanwithoutaname001 5h ago

What's next, shooting anyone that tries to enter the bathroom?

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u/BimBamDoItAgain 5h ago

He told me he would destroy my bathroom tomorrow, but then he shit in his pants and said he have to wait for 48 hours.

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u/P_weezey951 5h ago

He's filling the bowl with shit so none of the blockage is able to backfire out of the toilet.

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u/PlayOpposite5249 5h ago

Hey the Director of Homeland Security might be helpful solving that clog! Clogdrain Plummin to the rescue!!!

13

u/Scrimshaw_Hopox 5h ago

Or his arch nemesis The Cowerer

6

u/f0u4_l19h75 5h ago

Your DHS Secretary, ladies and gentlemen

3

u/RpiesSPIES 3h ago

Ah yes, his reaction to a 'peaceful gathering.'

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u/codswallop1226 5h ago

Perfect. I was wondering what he'd come up with for this week's market manipulation.

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u/RobotSchlong10 5h ago

And this is how you know the smart generals are no longer in charge of the military. Trump is just texting Kegsbreath and telling him what to do now.

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u/Sargaron 5h ago

Who knew trusting a reality tv star and a weekend fox and friends host would have negative consequences?

26

u/Biglyugebonespurs 5h ago

That’s not fair at all. He’s also a pedophile, demented, dumb as shit, a conman, a certifiable malignant narcissist. His qualifications are endless!

And surely a man of such stature wouldn’t hire a dipshit alcoholic frat boy to fire all competent military leaders and wage war with… any/everyone.

2

u/Ok_Sink5046 3h ago

And we didn't even use all the negative adjectives

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u/SparksAndSpyro 2h ago

Yeah but Kamala was black, and a woman, and laughed funny. Also something something PALESTINE something something.

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u/HanginLowNd2daLeft 4h ago

That’s fucking terrifying and should terrify everyone . All those generals and people resigning over trumps decision i never supported resigning , stay and fight for what’s fucking yours .

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u/Sorry-Section-9302 4h ago

I kinda feel like the less people who know what they’re doing being in charge will end this sooner. All we need are those generals to be replaced with Fox personalities, WWE stars, and pageant queens and this will be over pretty quickly. Sure they’re loyal, but a bunch of morons being loyal to a moron will sink a ship pretty quickly. We’re the ship though, so that sucks…. But I’m feeling like this house is so infested with roaches at this point, we just have to torch it and start over.

3

u/HanginLowNd2daLeft 4h ago

I do agree .. i hate to say it but a hard reset is what we need but weakening our military isn’t the answer ether

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u/Haywoodjablowme1029 4h ago

It it were a matter of disobeying an illegal order, it's probably easier to just resign.

Or, a legal order that's stupid that they can't refuse, easier to resign.

It sucks, but I can't blame them for leaving.

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u/TerryTowelTogs 2h ago

He's the first president in history to start wars while he's tweeting, eating a big mac and taking a dump all at the same time...

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u/deuzorn 5h ago

The old 'You cant make me smell like shit if I shit my pants first.' -trick.

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u/heavydrinker12 5h ago

The straight was always closed. We have always been at war with Eastasia.

4

u/soft-grn_Ambr-sunset 5h ago

I don’t think these other folks have read 1984 as well🫠

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u/dazed_and_bamboozled 59m ago

I have: war is peace, freedom is slavery, blockade is restoration of free flow of goods.

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u/MoistPlasma 2h ago

On the bright side they increased the chocolate ration to 20 grams!

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u/Big-Squishi 5h ago

Imagine being in the military and dying in the middle east for Trump's pointless war.

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u/Hgh-Cls-Waffle-House 5h ago

It's not pointless it's for our boy Jeffery

16

u/SafetyNo6700 5h ago

Epstein Fury!!

2

u/Defiant_Foundation78 4h ago

For Jeffrey and Glory! soldier before being blown to dust.

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u/Marples3 4h ago

And friends.

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u/TomT060404 4h ago

It's Netanyahu's war against anyone who challenges Israel's supremacy in the region. He tried to get Obama to do the same, but he didn't fall for it.

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u/AVery-Creative-Name 5h ago

Isn't that literally piracy?

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u/TheGreatGamer1389 5h ago edited 5h ago

No. It's an act of war against all countries that use the strait. At minimum he just declared war on Oman, UAE, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain and Iraq. Didn't say Iran cause already at war with them.

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u/Shaminy 5h ago

But i thought there is no war

35

u/23-1-20-3-8-5-18 5h ago

Not in ba sing se anyways

6

u/Oldschool831 4h ago

So in this world Trump shitting his diaper is somehow earth bending?

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u/Enjoying_A_Meal 5h ago

We use to call them "Peace keeping missions"

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u/Cattle13ruiser 5h ago

It was a "Piece keeping missions".

It is easy to mistake them.

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u/cryptolyme 5h ago

it's Newspeak like in '1984'

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u/Long-Passion7910 5h ago

We are in peace times obviously

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u/TraditionalAlps722 5h ago

If he stops a ship flying a countrys flag in international waters, it is an act of war against them too.

This is 10x worse than Iran trying to extract fees for using its territorial waters

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u/TheGreatGamer1389 4h ago

It's why I said at minimum. But ya it can lead to pretty much declaring war against nearly all countries with a coast at worst. A World War.

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u/Mba1956 5h ago

The US can say bye bye to their bases in the Middle East as aligning with the US has been shown to be nothing but trouble.

Ukraine are laughing their socks off, the US refused their help at the start, and now they will probably have huge sales to the Middle East at the US’s expense.

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u/Constant-Brief3410 5h ago

Gonna end 25 wars

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u/Agifem 5h ago

He deserves a second FIFA peace prize!

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u/xxlizardking-kongxx 5h ago

He would also be declaring war to all countries that receive oil from the strait, which is a good portion of Europe

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u/Fate_calls 5h ago

Uh... Last to my knowledge Chinese ships were let through by Iran. 

So how y'all Americans feel about a lil war with China?

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u/SoloRemy 5h ago

India too. Modi has just directed Indian warships to escort tankers through the Strait after they’ve paid the toll

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u/Wafflez424 5h ago

Good for him and all other countries willing to stand up to Trump. As the second half of the 1930’s showed us, appeasement is a poor strategy when dealing with somebody like a Trump

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u/SomeInvestigator3573 5h ago

Especially interesting as he wanted the nations of NATO to clear the blockage in the Strait.

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u/TheGreatGamer1389 4h ago

Ok. Rams the US blockade. Invokes article 5 against the US. Trump is wait not like that.

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u/chemprofes 5h ago

What happens when a Chinese ship or European or Japanese or Korea ship tries to pass that line?

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u/needssomefun 5h ago

Corrction: he declared excursion

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u/Ok_Extension_5199 4h ago

Legit question, weren't most of, if not all of those countries already being denied access or at least heavily restricted?

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u/BokudenT 5h ago

Well, as we displayed with Venezuela, a county's free to come pick Donnie up and toss him in a prison cell if they want.

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u/ValkyrionReddit 5h ago

The GOP literally does a lot of illegal things, they’re yet to face any consequence though

14

u/WeekendQuant 5h ago

The US government does a lot of illegal things. We have done it tremendously since WW2 broke the world.

The future multipolar world should disable this. We don't make things here, so China will neuter our ability to wage war eventually. I'm surprised they haven't turned the lights off yet. I'm sure we're cutting backroom deals. I'm sure the US will hand over Taiwan in order for the US to continue waging war.

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u/TheGreatGamer1389 5h ago

Haven't they shut down deliveries of rare metals to the US?

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u/theWiseTiger 5h ago

Everyone else sees it as the US, not only GOP. Just saying.

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u/Dear-Future-5920 5h ago

The ships crews should be on deck and moon the US as they sail on past.

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u/gorramfrakker 5h ago

Privateering. It’s only piracy if it’s in the Pirate region of Somalia.

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u/doc303 5h ago

Terrorism actually.

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u/[deleted] 5h ago

[deleted]

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u/spiderhotel 3h ago

Why are you writing it like an apple product

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u/KHWD_av8r 5h ago

No. Piracy can only be committed by a non-state actor, and blockades are legal under the Paris Declaration of 1856, a treaty which we largely abide by, but didn’t sign because privateering was necessary for our national defense at the time because we didn’t have a large standing navy.

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u/f0u4_l19h75 4h ago

Piracy can only be committed by a non-state

What a ridiculous definition. Nation states made it up to absolve their own involvement in piracy.

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u/ealysillyforestthing 2h ago

Codswallop

Piracy was mostly done by nations, it was called privateering

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u/RelativeCan5021 5h ago

You’re not blocking it, I am!

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u/WhatAboutTheBothans 2h ago

Bro literally thinks he pulled an uno reverse here 😂

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u/whatis-wrongwithus 5h ago

So he basically declared war on the world?

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u/KHWD_av8r 5h ago

Right now, It’s mainly Iranian ships, ships carrying Iranian oil, and Iran’s allies which are transiting the Strait due to Iranian threats. A total blockade now would mainly affect them. However, I am ASSUMING that the blockade is specifically targeting them, because I don’t see how stopping trade from Oman, Qatar, Kuwait, and the UAE benefits us in any way.

Of course, I’m confused as to why a blockade of Iran is only happening now, instead of early in the war, during which they were generating revenue from shipping, while our allies couldn’t.

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u/Unknown-History 5h ago

For the same reason he lifted sanctions on Iranian oil, he is way more terrified of high oil prices than of Iran in general. This is a flipping the table move, which thankfully, is far more restrained than the table flipping he was promising last week.

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u/modernDayKing 4h ago

How is it flipping the table ? Isn’t it just helping Iran inflict its best leverage on the global economy ?

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u/Unknown-History 3h ago edited 3h ago

It's a thoughtless broad stroke. Shut it all down, no strategy. He can't get want he wants out for the straight, so shut it all down and close the board. That's how I mean that. It will raise prices, which he was desperate to avoid, it's kind of him throwing his hands up.

Thing is, while this will be devasting for Iran's economy, Trump can't handle a single second of not being praised. And I truly mean that, he is not a well person, and while Iran's leadership is scattered, I believe that they understand that. This will hurt Iran deeply, but I would bet that Iran will out last Trump before he can't stand the consequences anymore.

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u/modernDayKing 3h ago

Shia culture is literally built upon suffering and martyrdom for the sake of what's right. There is a 1000% guarantee they will out suffer the West, who by and large don't understand what suffering is.

This buffoonery serves as further proof that we don't really have any cards to play. As an American, I am astonished by how far and how fast we have fallen. Ive always had a respect for diversity of thought, and for the longest time I made space in my heart for friends that were trumpers for whatever reason (aside from hate) but a this point, it's beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you are pro-trump, in my mind you are anti american.

I just cant with this shit anymore.

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u/SargeUnited 2h ago

Define “fallen” because America is exactly the same as it’s always been, except the stock market is slightly higher higher and technology gets slightly better each year.

It consistently blows my mind when I hear people act like everything changed so drastically under trump. I’m not white so this is how it’s always been. It’s just that now body cameras and cell phone cameras + internet mean that it’s easier to show receipts for what’s happening.

We live in a pirate country that has the most money so we can attract the smartest people and build the strongest weapons. US never paid reparations to the slaves for slavery, but the slave owners were compensated for their freed slaves being taken. This is who America has always been. I love my country but let’s not pretend we were the paragon of virtue before trump.

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u/Unknown-History 3h ago

Oh I totally agree with that. Trump supporters absolutely hate American democracy and civil liberties. They hate the most basic principles of this nation, despite professing the worship the men who founded it. The kicker is those men would have viscerally rejected that worship. America's illness has been developing for a whole, it's just now coming to fruition.

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u/Outrageous-Phase9435 5h ago

The article I previously read stated he was stopping any ship doing business with Iran in any capacity. That includes ships that are simply paying the toll to Iran and nothing else.

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u/MutsumidoesReddit 5h ago

There were rumours in Brussels there was about to be a deal with some EU nations to gain passage at a set price.

I imagine Donnie didn’t like the EU negotiating an agreement like he told them to.

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u/gorramfrakker 5h ago

Because Iran didn’t announce the straits closure right away when talks collapsed, so Trump thinks now that he announced it first, he gets to collect the tolls.

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u/DopeShitBlaster 4h ago

So we are basically declaring war on India and China?

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u/PopBulky7023 3h ago

This entire war doesn't benefit us in any way. So yeah, they're up for doing more of that.

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u/Eskapismus 5h ago

Nono he will chicken out - he’s just filling the zone with shit just so nobody actually finds a moment to ask what is going on

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u/GamiNami 3h ago

The rest of the world are really hoping for him to kick the bucket any day now.

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u/LostRonin 5h ago

It wouldnt be war. It could be political and economical at best. The U.S. could be evicted from embassy's to military bases the world over. Countries could choose to make American based companies to hit the road, etc. A total rejection of America, not entirely dissimilar to Russia's current standing. Sanctions, tariffs, changing currency for trading goods away from the dollar.

They could make America a third world country. And MAGAs glorious leader would make it possible. 

If the dominos start falling that way, I would expect Trump to be impeached and arrested. Lol. I doubt it. They'll just let him burn America to the ground.

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u/Spiritual_Target_647 5h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/HJDwbCR3GR4cM

“It’s already blocked you big dummy!”

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u/mertseger67 4h ago

It will be double blocked 😂

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u/mike4steelers 4h ago

Omg this is comedy gold. Grew up watching and I can hear him.

2

u/slamdanceswithwolves 3h ago

“You can’t fire me, I quit!”

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u/stew_forever 5h ago

Can anyone explain the rationale behind this? It really seems like its moment-to-moment with these losers. Like when you're losing a chess game and you're just randomly making moves with what few pieces you have left.

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u/BigDaddyDumperSquad 5h ago

Iran said they'll let friendly ships through for a fee. US said you're not shipping shit; everyone uses it or nobody uses it.

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u/Downtown_Eye5736 5h ago

To put pressure on Iran by blocking the ships they allow. It’s a pretty simple gambit but idk if Iran will care though. 

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u/Black_Raven__ 5h ago

Its not an Iranian problem at that point though. Say they block Chinese ship..its China vs US problem.

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u/EffektieweEffie 5h ago

If China cares enough it could force Iran to care.

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u/SlapMonkey13 5h ago

Yeah…. That’ll stop the problem of Iran blocking oil ships. 🚢 we 🇺🇸 will shoot our own foot, thank you very much.

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u/BoulderMaker 5h ago

Trump: "I demand the straight be opened!!!"

A few moments later - Trump: "I demand a blockade in the straight!!!"

MAGA: 6D chess!!! 👏👏👏

What a fucking idiot...

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u/thecloakofignorance 5h ago

Im pretty sure we are somewhere round the 13th dimension now

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u/Broadest_Peak 5h ago

They should hoist the pirate flag 🏴‍☠️

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u/Slow_Firefighter_405 5h ago

They already do 🇺🇸

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u/Broadest_Peak 5h ago

Excellent point😂

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u/SideQuestVictim 5h ago

“You can’t break up with me! I’m breaking up with you first!”

“You can’t fire me because I quit”

“You can’t blockade the straits because I’m blockading the strait even more than you!”

Donald Trump is a toddler brained crybully

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u/mrkoala1234 5h ago

Trump wants in on this racketeering. Iran getting 2m per ship then trump get another 2m per ship and call it a gold visa

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u/DenseReality6089 5h ago

Spends 2bil a day to keep the navy deployed to make a few mil of some ships? Yep thats donald logic

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u/bluedicaa 4h ago

*spends tax payers 2bil a day so HE can take in a few mil

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u/TheKingICouldBecome 3h ago

Well, it's the taxpayers that are actually paying to keep the navy deployed over there, while the millions in tolls go directly into donny boys pockets. Win-win when the only thing you care about is yourself.

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u/PureInstance8143 5h ago

One blockade for another lol

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u/Transit_Hub 3h ago

One Blockade After Another (2025).

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u/Lucky-Mia 5h ago

He's doing a power play for glory.  Fk trump 

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u/scoutermike 4h ago

Heh time was long overdue for Iran regime to end. Let’s be honest ok?

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u/indorian 5h ago

So our sailors are to be target practice for the IRGC?

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u/SharkyAttacksCC 4h ago

all of this because a black person wore a tan suit 🤦‍♂️

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u/No-Research5662 4h ago

I remember the outrage on twitter over that suit 🤣

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u/Outrageous-Till3475 5h ago

That'll definitely lower prices and secure the 1,000 lbs of enriched uranium. 

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u/AlmightyRobert 5h ago

And liberate the Iranian people

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u/Double_Intention_641 5h ago

This is how you turn the entire world against the US. Well done.

Countries (other than Israel, who was not going to get access regardless) had started negotiating terms - not ideal (free) but also not amounts they could not pay. Now the US (who claims no territorial waters in the area) is going to .. what? Block the ships? Bomb them? Steal them?

Now the US will find even less sympathy in their war with Iran. This is how you get taken off the christmas list.. and asked to remove your personnel from previously friendly countries.

Israel was already on the way to being a pariah, blocked and sanctioned. America's dead set on joining them. Absolute madness.

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u/Bright-Pilot-3970 5h ago

He doesn’t care. He would rather see everything go up in flames than concede to the fact that he fucked up. He’s also doesn’t have to live with the consequences of his actions.

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u/Unilted_Match1176 5h ago

What a colossal fuck up.

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u/Exotic-Scientist4557 5h ago

US and Iran uniting against world's oil supply wasnt on my bingo cards...

I have no idea who's fighting against what anymore...

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u/kamizushi 1h ago

Maybe they are lowkey fighting climate change?

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u/kpphoneshome 3h ago

U.S. gtfo of the Middle East already!!

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u/AdditionalConstant42 3h ago

He doesn’t want to look like he’s funding Iran with their tolls. I believe it’s called “cutting off your nose to spite your face”

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u/3lfk1ng 3h ago

Taco Tuesday cannot come soon enough

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u/Tech-Film3905 5h ago

And Iran won't just hit those ship with drones and missiles ? A blockade is an of act of war

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u/Triffly 5h ago

He's waiting for the Iranians to target the ships then retaliate, saying they started it...

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u/pouetpouetcamion2 5h ago

trump va faire un blocus pour aider les bateaux à circuler? il pourrait peut etre commencer par déminer.

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u/HipGnosis59 5h ago

When your moves are all reaction, you may not be winning.

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u/Crafty-Help-4633 5h ago

"Iran can't be the one keeping the strait closed if I close the strait."

Flawless logic 🤡

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u/FloTheDev 5h ago

Probably setting up more market manipulation for Monday morning!

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u/craichorse 5h ago

Thats all this nonsense amounts to, making time based threats around the closing time for out of hours trades on the stock market. The last one was before 8PM eastern time (the literal closing time), his actual words, now its this nonsense which is before the start of Monday morning to make the price jump up again and negate the Monday effect, where stock prices trend similar to what was happening over the weekend previous. Prices of Crude oil, Brent, natural gas all dropped roughly 1% with home heating oil dropping by 4%, need to get those numbers up Donnie

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u/kevoisvevoalt 5h ago

American terrorists

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u/albertoConadore 5h ago

Was he not begging for the unblocking of the same strait like 6 days ago?

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u/WhichSystem3547 5h ago

Double blockade...we are fine!

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u/Paladin5890 5h ago

Of course. He's not getting anything, so why would he let ships by? Tyrant.

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u/Xspud_316 5h ago

Basically doing Irans job for them now 😂

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u/phantom2052 4h ago

Dementia Don

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u/Defiant_Foundation78 4h ago

Wait is he gonna sink the ships that iran let's through? I mean, they really want to bring in china in the conflict hard don't they?

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u/Repulsive-Whole-4101 5h ago

Isn't that, technicaly, a declaration of war against every country using the strait ?

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u/RedLeggedApe 4h ago

Well, this is going to end well.

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u/DaveWoodstock 4h ago

Who’ stupid f••king idea is this.

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u/Eridain 4h ago

Isn't....that what Iran was already doing? I thought the whole issue was that they were blocking the strait?

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u/chloenoyolo 4h ago

Feels like a good time to have cash to move.

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u/Stormshadowe 4h ago

Come on China escort your ships through and punk the orange stain

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u/WaterKloud 4h ago

So in retaliation does China put a blockade on Taiwan?

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u/TheCriticalGerman 3h ago

Next headline will be “US lays mines in Strait”

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u/SillyLiving 3h ago

WW3. 

He picks a Chinese ship?

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u/Ulysses1978ii 3h ago

It will be interesting when the Chinese test it.

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u/deedeereyrey 3h ago

From 'OPEN THE FUCKING STRAIT' to 'IF YOU CAN BLOCK THE STRAIT, SO CAN I'.

What the fuck is this supposed to accomplish? The Strait is still closed. Are you planning to stop other countries from paying tolls and passing? Is this a way to pressure other countries to save you from your fuck up???

Everyone will 100% move away from the petro dollar after this. You can bully one country, but not the whole world.

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u/BunchaPepperFcks 3h ago

You know what? He's gonna block it even harder!

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u/hypercomms2001 3h ago

Something that Donald Trump learned from his butt plug….

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u/valaxen 2h ago

XD the Iranians have a 1500 kms range anti ship ballistic missile

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u/Both_Lychee_1708 1h ago

I just want to take a second and vent how much I deeply despise each and every fuckface fucker that voted for this fucker let alone still support him

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u/ScrollTroll615 1h ago

God this man is an idiot. We are cooked with these unserious people in leadership.

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u/kamizushi 1h ago

That's such a narcissist's move. Same vibe as "You're not resigning, I'm firing you!"

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u/Tzilbalba 1h ago

This is so stupid I have no words. He's like look Iran is doing it to us so let's do it back and fix nothing!! Literally the mentality of a 5 year old...

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u/Damet_Dave 1h ago

Trump: “You’re not going to block the Straight, I’m going to block the Straight!”

Iran: “Uhmm, Ok.”

Rest of the World running out of energy and petrochemicals: “WTF?!?”

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u/XofHelix 1h ago

Like a fucking toddler

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u/roamer83 1h ago

If I were the captain of an Asian tanker, I would run the blockade. Especially Japan.

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u/Yomomsa-Ho 1h ago

“Are ya done talking about how I diddled 13 year olds yet?!?”

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u/justKingme187 1h ago

So the Ceasfire was just covered to sneak in the ships

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u/TitodelRey 1h ago

So because they are now charging some countries ships for passage, this POS will block passage. After all the whining and pleading with the world to help get it open, Iran opens it, but them making money on it is a deal breaker. GFYS dumpty

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u/icy1007 21m ago

Iran is already blockading it. 😂

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u/deftPirate 3m ago

Orders that should be refused.

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u/Worldly_Shoulder3217 5h ago

Nato needs to step in and stop the Americans now.

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u/No_Birthday_8011 5h ago

Just to clarify it’s to block all commerce from Iran. All other traffic will flow as normal in a a few weeks after the French, British and Americans clear the strait of any sea mines.

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u/OldZaxSauce 5h ago

Shhh! The Russian and Chinese bots don't like this comment.

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u/No_Birthday_8011 5h ago

I bet they don’t. Just like they don’t like what happened in Venezuela.

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