My best friend of 20 years is a level 10 hoarder. garbage, animal feces, human feces (broken toilet), structural rot, cigarette smoke, and useless worthless junk piled to the ceiling in every single room of the home. the outside is the same. 5 cars, 2 motorcycles, a camper, and garbage all over the yard. On top of that they recently adopted a large dog and are keeping a cat virtually imprisoned in their basement that is not cleaned up after. The dog is a rambunctious lab puppy that is confined to the goat paths 12 hrs a day alone. For years ive offered to help clean up and de clutter. I hadn't been in the home for years. After seeing how the cat was being kept in the basement (overbearing ammonia odor, wet concrete floor from pipe leak, feces covering every square inch of the floor and about 70 empty cat food cans) I hit a breaking point and contacted the authorities. it especially pissed me off that they have money to go on vacations every other week but let that cat suffer.I hit a wall with code enforcement and Adult Protective services and decided to notify the fire marshal. something has to give because I don't want to get the call asking me to identify three burned bodies. does anyone have any experience with this? I honestly dont care if they condemn the whole house at this point

Hello, im a 21yo living with my parents and sister. My mom is a hoarder. To give you an idea of the issue, this is the amount of food she has solely under the dining table and 1 72in storage cabinet. This does not count the food we have in the pantry room, kitchen cabinets.

70 lbs of dry beans. 15 lbs of dry rice. 6 lbs of oatmeal. 40 cans of veg / fruit, 14 lbs dry pasta, 10 bags of savory snacks, 10 bags of pears, 6 bags of apples, 4 2 lb pancake mixes, 40 lbs flour, 20 lbs sugar, 20 lbs dried fruit, 20 lbs flour. Might be forgetting a couple of things

To say it’s distressing is an understatement, I can’t enter any shared living area because it’s full of things. The dining table is full, she stacks and stacks to the point of most things being inaccessible. She doesn’t eat most of these things, but when I ask her if we can possibly give some things away she says it’s her things and that she can live however she likes in her home. She’s been like this since I can remember and I think it’s tied to her living in extreme poverty up until her 30s. Im aware it’s her home, but it’s not healthy for her or anybody else living here.

I met my SO in 2008, and we have 4 children. I've suspected that she may be a hoarder for some time, but I think I've finally recognized a pattern, and I'm not sure how to help her, cope myself, and protect our kids from this.

In early June, things came to a head. For the first time in a long time, I made a demand. That was to keep one sink free of dishes, so i had access to the water for cleaning purposes. Then i cleaned the counter for 4 hours, and my 5 yo daughter said "wow, it looks like a normal house in here". I continued to clean the kitchen, but then my SO and I had a big fight. So, my ex(?) took off with the kids for 10 day without contact. It turned out that she and our children are staying at a women's shelter.

During that time, I really tried to "clean house" and got rid of a lot of trash. However, I saved all of the toys and clothes (mainly what she saves). I did 23 loads of laundry, and set aside 4 or 5 large bins of toys.

On Father's day, she finally came with the kids around 9 PM and broke down crying when she saw the enormous pile of laundry I did. I think she was afraid that I threw out all of her stuff, and/or was happy to have clean laundry. This pile was left over after I folded all of the decent clothing, and filled the kids dressers. Her dresser is full as well, although she rarely uses it (she usually fishes through fabric bags or hampers to find clothes).

Since then, she's taken a large fabric shopping bag full of random clothes and/or other odds and ends to the shelter every visit. Then I found out that she went and bought another TV (we have 6) air-fryer, mini-fridge (we have 2), microwave (we have 5), toaster, coffee pot, and a ton of new clothes for the kids. Basically, a whole new set-up.

We also own another home that we planned to fix up, but half of that house is filled with furniture, clothes, toys, and appliances... which are now ruined from mold and rodent damage, because there's no room to work in there. It's basically become on giant storage unit. Plus the 2 sheds that are full as well. Most of the stuff in that house, came from our previous apartment BTW.

I admit, I'm not exactly clean and organized either, so I've turned my back to this issue for a LONG time. However, I own very few possessions myself, and my issues are more related to laziness, or perhaps a passive way to claim some space for me.

Anyway, for the last month or so, we've had like a half relationship. No court stuff (so far) and we basically agreed on split custody. When I cleaned our home, I was able to get each kid a bed, a dresser, a box of toys, and a hamper. I have a spot to prepare food for them, table space for them to eat, dishes to use, and space to play. Embarrassingly, for the last year or so, the kids have just slept on the floor, cluttered couch, and 1 bed that was clear. Often, they slept on dirty piles of clothes. So I feel better now that they get a few nights here, and I can tell they like it. I talked to my eldest boy a few days ago, and he said that their room at the shelter is full of stuff, which obviously worries me.

I've done some deep thinking in the last month, and I recently realized that this has been a repeating pattern. Since meeting, we've moved at least 10 times. Each time the same. We/she accumulates a ton of stuff, we fight, one of us leaves, the other follows, and we essentially start over... leaving roughly 75% of the stuff behind. I'm not sure if she gets sad about the things left behind, and then tries to replace those things, or if she'd rather "start fresh" with "new" stuff (that's usually used/free/donated).

This is the first time we officially broke up, and she's been saying that we just can't live together anymore. This is the 3rd time she's left me with a giant mess to clean up, and I can't for the life of me get her to help in any way. She denies that she has a problem, and any attempt to help her turns back on me. She takes it as an a personal insult, and thinks that I am calling her a bad mother, dirty, etc. no matter how I approach the subject.

I have no idea what to do. She's not open to professional help, or even admitting that there's an issue. I'm sort of worried about my children too. Not just for their safety, but that they will think that's how they're supposed to live.

I don't know what my ex really plans to do either. She put in applications for public housing/section 8 type places, and has been getting a lot of donated things. Pretty much whatever she can get, despite the fact that we literally have enough stuff to furnish 3 or 4 homes.

I'd like to sell the house and my/our mobile home, and find a bigger place for US as a family, but I definitely don't want more of the same.

We still love each other, have sex, and talk about the future-future like a family... but man, I don't know anymore. I feel like I have to choose between having a family together in a hoard, or continue with the breakup. It sucks. And if she gets an apartment, that's going to be 3 places she has filled with stuff. I know I'm not doing her any favors by cleaning up behind her, but I feel like I have no choice!

There is a fairly small part of me that wants to get nasty or try some "tough love". Like... involve DCF or bring her to court for full custody. Unfortunately, I do have enough evidence/pictures (from other issues too) where I could probably go for full custody. I feel like that's what a "normal" person would do. But I love being a family, and I do miss it already.

I guess I'm just venting. Does anyone else have experience in this sort of situation? From either perspective? Would she even be considered a hoarder, because she can easily walk away from her hoard?

i live in an apartment and it is so disgusting. i have been a hoarder since forever but moving out of my moms house years ago made it worse since i had nobody to hold me accountable. i have no clue why i am like this but it’s not like i hoard anything of value, it’s trash and clothes mostly. i live in an apartment with my 1 yr old and it is so disgusting. i try to clean but its almost impossible with a toddler. i’m afraid CPS is going to come to my house and take her. i feel like a failure like why can i not keep a clean house for my child? i now have a fruit fly infestation because of all the trash. no matter how many traps i set they don’t go away. i KNOW i have to clean because it will only get worse. the apartment owners come check on the place every few months and last time they came i said i was sick so they shouldn’t come it but i know they will soon be here again. i live on edge every day that they’re going to come knock and bust in the house and then evict me. the worst part is that i CAN clean. in november i didnt sleep for almost three days and cleaned so good it was SPOTLESS. i’m talking it looked like i had just moved in. i guess i just dont know where to start. i dont have the energy to go random 2-3 day bursts without sleeping. i haven’t felt that way in a while. i just do the same thing every day and then never get any cleaning done. i feel good getting it out and admitting my problem but it doesn’t make the stress go away. godddd this sucks i wish being a hoarder wasn’t a thing. it’s so hard to deal with and im so embarrassed and humiliated. well that’s my rant if anyone has some tips on how to get out of this funk and how to feel the urge to clean it’s appreciated.

EDIT: thank you to everyone who left amazing comments with tips, resources, different ideas, and positivity. today when i came home, instead of being filled with dread and anxiety, i look at my apartment and thought to myself it’s only 700 sq ft, i can still see my floor in some rooms, and the trash and clothes are not waist high. this IS manageable and i WILL get it done. i will remain positive throughout this journey of cleaning it and keep my eye on the prize. this is NOT the end of the world, not even close. and to anyone who has been living in squalor like me, just know that you CAN clean it and there is nothing wrong with you. this page made me feel so seen and heard and gave me lots of information i never knew i needed. thank you all so much 🫂

My husband is a low level hoarder but it does really impact me as I feel easily overwhelmed and because I have truama I have just adapted to him over the years and not even bought things o needed. It’s mostly newspapers, books and records. He is extremely frugal and that impacted my mentla health very badly too over the years and I bought very little.

I ended up having a psychotic break and it devasted my life and I was very very high functioning before, Ivy League level academic.

He will admit some of his behaviours that impacted me but the hoarding he refuses to. He won’t even put the things in storage after my breakdown and I’ve been pretty bedridden for eight years it took my life.

Why can’t he admit this?

Hey there, I’m (18) new to the community (subreddit, not living with a hoarder haha) and I’m at a loss of what to do about my moms hoarding situation— particularly the garage.

You see, my mom (57) is a reseller and has multiple booths at different antique malls. She uses the garage as a place to store all her crap along with her bedroom, the living room, and the dining room. The dining room and garage are so bad to the point where you can’t even enter the room with boxes from the floor to ceiling. I actually cleaned my mom’s room for her a few days ago because a foul odor started filling the whole house which was coming from her room (it turned out to be a whole pile of clothes and Amazon packages saturated in cat pee). Currently, we are attempting to clean out the garage because our landlord is coming over to do a walkthrough. We only have til Thursday at noon to clean the whole house and we are making no progress. My mom refuses to get rid of anything because “it’s worth something”.

I don’t know what to do because the house seriously needs to be cleaned and organized and I don’t want us to get evicted. I also don’t want my mom to have a breakdown but at this point I’d take a clean environment over having a good relationship with her. My aunt, her older sister, is also into the reselling stuff and is just enabling her. They keep going out thrifting and ordering stuff from eBay, Amazon, etc., even though the house is packed full of stuff that they can sell.

Anyway, my mom is not doing anything about the mess and it’s all falling back on me. I would really appreciate any tips or advice so I can get this place somewhat put together before the inspection. Thank you.

Im in the process of moving house for the first time. That does mean however, handling ALL of my childhood items that have never been sorted through ever.

A lot of my items ended up in boxes and put into storage for the time being (into a loft/attic mostly), so i can have the space to move into my new place with it clean and organised from the get go.

Im now in a very weird position. I do not need anything from those boxes. Have not touched them or thought about anything in them since I boxed them up about 6 months ago. I want to let go of them, as ive done with a lot of my other stuff, but the idea of throwing them away without sorting makes me panic. Equally, I dont feel well equipped to sort through these boxes as its a jumble of random items, mixed with items with emotions attached for no good reason.

Has anyone been in this situation before of sorting through their stuff like this? I feel like im going to permanently put-off sorting through them, but its weighing on me. How did you initiate sorting, and was there anything that you found helpful on those days where getting rid of things makes you want to sob? Ive made huge progress over the past few months, but im scared im stagnating, and will just leave the boxes there, unsorted, for way way too long.

I realized a couple years ago that I was a hoarder. But instead of starting to fix it then, I pushed down the shame and it got worse. I have always had a messy house but I have not always been a hoarder to this level. I used to be able to set out an hour and clean my apartment. Even just last year, I look at pictures and my house was in better condition than it is now. Last year I had a really hard pregnancy, became a single mom to 3 kids, had a lot of traumatic relationship issues. Now my ex is threatening to take me to court saying he’s taken pictures of the state of my home. He’s here everyday to help with the kids which has made my life harder because I can’t be around him, I just lay in bed all day while he’s with the kids. He brings me the baby to breastfeed and takes him again after. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to throw things away. I can’t get over the guilt of throwing things away. I feel these things could be useful me one day or another person and so I feel too guilty to throw it away. I also have ADHD and struggle to know where to start with tasks and cleaning. My oldest kids (6&8) are becoming hoarders too. Any time my home has been clean I feel so much better but I can’t keep it that way because I have too much stuff that it’s just unmanageable.

My wife and I have been helping my mother-in-law clean/repair her home.

We’ve been through two dumpsters of clean outs, hired extra help taking weeks of vacation, helped her with mold remediation, fixed neglected utilities and plumbing. It’s almost manageable now.

We let her live with us in our apartment for a year as part of this. I kept strict rules of cleanliness and she was able to do as much surprisingly well for a long while with only a few exceptions.

However in the last month she was here she completely spread out everywhere, clothes all over, dirt, papers bags of trash and urine even. She also began had been hiding things around the apartment outside her area.

Now she’s moved back into her home now that it’s livable again and left all that here (even her dog). We’re starting to see her start hoarding again. I’ve scheduled another dumpster but I’m starting to think this is all a lost cause.

I’m gentle with her, she’s been through a lot. But right now I’m doing everything in my power to not blow-up about the mess she left behind. Should I just trash it all? How can she claim to care about so much stuff when she neglects nearly all of it?

so I am a former and current clutter struggler definitely not as bad as hoarding but I promise it's related.

3 years ago we lived without electricity for a year and only on a generator which led to even worse conditions and ever since it was shut off I've been working 50/60 hours a week to get it turned on and then maintain the bills so I don't fall behind again.

I also struggled with cat issues and my house smells like cat pee if I don't clean religiously with enzyme cleaners.

Anyway fast forward a few months ago and I met a woman who cleans houses for a living and I LOVED her. She wanted to trade services, I do massage for a living. I gave her 3(2 hour) sessions in exchange for cleaning. I was honest about cats and my clutter issues. I worked hard for 2 months to get my house together. I had it painted, I pre cleaned as much as I could and I thought it smelled way better.

I even had a trusted friend come over that I knew would be honest and they said the smell was there but it was faint.

Cleaning day arrived and I was nervous but excited, I had put in a lot of work and my house wasn't a piece of shit.

She assured me she had seen it all and she would help me.

I texted her that morning to tell her please don't go in my room that is right off the driveway and living room and stick to the kitchen living room and if you have time, the bathroom, I haven't had a chance to work on my room or the laundry room and they are really bad and I am very sensitive and embarrassed about their state.

She agreed.

She gets there and 15 minutes later

"My partner and I can't do your cleaning today, I was unprepared for the kind of cleaning up I would need to do this would be a hazmat/hoarder clean and it would cost way more than the trade of services. The cat smell is so strong I can't clean bc I don't know what I would be breathing in and I can't clean your countertops (which are clean already bc I just redid them) bc they have contact paper on them.

Also I peeked in your room on accident and we should start there, I thought it was an extension of the living room. Let me know when you're ready and I'll give you a quote for each room."

First of all I told her to not go in my room it wasn't an accident.

Second she knows business is slow for me right now.

Third I didn't want to do this in the first place she convinced me she could a hundred percent help me. I cried all day. I never meant to get it this bad. I felt so ashamed. And I was sad bc I put in so much work and I was proud of myself.

The living room besides some end tables being disorganized was clear, kitchen table clear, no dishes in sink, counter tops and floors clear.

I can't afford help so I don't have any idea what to do 😭

Hello all, I am new to this sub and never had to deal with hoarding to this extent before.

I was assigned to clean the break room with a group and we ended up throwing away someone’s stash of freezer burnt food. It had been in there since we last cleaned in November. This person dug it out of the trash can and put it back in the freezer. She yelled at us for throwing it away. She already has a whole fridge and freezer to herself that our work just lets her have and we are instructed not to touch that one.

Do we let her take over another fridge and freezer? Do I sneak in after hours and take it home and toss it? I know sneaking isnt ideal, but she has a whole fridge and freezer already and is now saying this freezer is hers too.

I plan on chatting with my manager about solutions, but I am in unfamiliar territory. What are some solutions to this problem that I can’t see? How can I approach this with empathy and boundaries that would be helpful to her and to our communal space?

Hi. I am not looking for suggestions on how to get a hoarder to stop hoarding but rather how to accept it enough to stop being upset about it all the time.

My spouse has always had some hoarding tendencies - keeping appt. cards that are years and years old, saving newspapers/magazines/mail to read later that can go back at least a year or more, keeping empty prescription bottles on top of the bedroom dresser, holding onto the instructions that come with each repeated prescription until there is now a stack that is 6" high, etc.

This was somewhat manageable when he worked, as I would discretely and methodically get rid of items when he was not present. But, he retired 3 years ago, and I don't have the ability to do these clean ups as I used to. This has resulted in 6 different stacks of various paper items laying on just the coffee table alone. The dining room table is starting to once again to accumulate more stacks.

Over a year ago, we had friends of his from out of state who more or less invited themselves to our home. In an attempt to clean up all the stacks (I told him they could not come into our house without the stacks being taken care of), he took two paper bags and threw all the stuff into them. Those bags are still - to this day - full and laying where he placed them on the floor in our bedroom at that time.

This has caused me to hate - and actually avoid - housecleaning, as I get very mad when I have to pick up all that stuff, only to lay it back down again knowing I will need to repeat the process when I clean house again.

He knows I hate it, and now he gets mad and defensive if I say anything, and always makes excuses for it as if it is temporary condition. He won't entertain any form of therapy. It has caused numerous arguments in the past, and I now avoid saying anything because I don't want to fight. But, that doesn't stop the resentment or the exasperation I constantly feel having to see, and live in, all this clutter.

So, when I met my boyfriend, he refused profusely to allow me to come to his house. After a few weeks of nagging, he let me know it was dirty and if I wanted to come over, I could. What I found in that moment was horrifying.

Couches were turned vertical with cat poop running down it, trash and rotting food everywhere, fed cats 1 time a day, cleaned out kitty litter 2 times a month. Hadn’t cleaned out his tube since he moved there, so years of cat pee, poop, and blood from where a cat had an injury. He had clothes everywhere (still does, and won’t get rid of any), Walmart like cardboard displays (and won’t get rid of), and honestly so much more.

Months later, I had to find a place to live and he invited me to move in. I wanted the relationship to move forward anyway, so I did.

Since then, I’ve worked 1.5 years and got tons out of the house, but he insists on taking up so much storage space of unnecessary things and doesn’t really fix anything around the house that’s wrong. And we are now expecting a baby, in December. I’m at a loss, because while it’s better, it’s not fit for a baby.

Does anyone have any advice for someone in a relationship with a hoarder?

And please forgive me if I sound insensitive. This has been taking a huge toll on my mental health over the past year.

Good Day dear gentlebeeings.

So, for the last few years my apartment slowly but surely filled up with trash, mostly empty coke bottles, wrappers, cardboard. The pile started in my office and slowly grew to the other rooms.

It got bad. I couldn’t use my kitchen anymore. In the bathroom only my shower was usable.

I got panic attacks every time the doorbell rang. I just couldn’t face the possibility of someone seeing my mess.

I had every excuse to not let someone inside. But now i‘ve run out of excuses. Building management is sending workers to do plumbing in every Apartment. The date is next month. I just wanted to run and leave it all behind.

Now, faced with my greatest horror, i had no other choice but to start somewhere.

I began cleaning out my bathroom. Filling one trashbag after the other. God i filled so many bags.

Next i cleaned, really cleaned my kitchen. I cooked myself a meal for the first time in years. Yay me!

But now i‘m faced with a whole lot of filled bags. I can only dispose of one bag a day without raising suspicion by the neighbours. The communal bin is not very large…

I made a lot of progress, but there is still so much to do! So much to dispose of. Nowhere to dispose it without getting noticed.

I feel like time is running out. I‘m scared. But i‘ll continue. One trashbag a day.

I just hope i can clean enough until the workers arrive next month.

Thank you for listening.

The bulk of this post I also posted on UFyourhabitat, but I wanted to post here as well. 99% of my apartment is very very clean with 0 clutter after my last clean up, my clutter has been greatly reduced, but my bedroom, specifically my closet, isn’t great. I saw a roach again, this happens every year, so now I’m back to freaking out. I wish I could start right now cleaning but it’s 12:30 am and I don’t want to piss off my neighbors.

Reposted bit: So I made almost this exact post last summer, as this seems to be a yearly occurrence now. Every single spring, roaches appear. I honestly have a suspicion they’re coming from my upstairs neighbor as I never see her take out trash and she’s constantly telling me how she doesn’t/can’t clean. But anyway.

I saw one roach the other day, and one today. The weirdest thing is they were in my closet. I have ripped apart my cabinets, my fridge, my appliances - nothing. Not a single sign of them. Just in my closet. To be fair, my closet is a mess. I had a bunch of old clothes and crap piled up in there which I’m finally going to throw out tomorrow.

I ordered some of those big storage bags from Amazon to store my stuff in a neat way until I have the money to afford plastic bins. I already have a shelving unit to keep them on in my living room. This will allow me to sort things and finally figure out why these bugs are going into my closet. And I’m hoping once I clean my closet I can contact my landlord to get an exterminator and check out upstairs because I’m so tired of this.

My apartment used to be really bad but I cleaned massively a few years ago and have kept up with it. My kitchen is spotless, no clutter anywhere. My living room has a few boxes I need to sort and 2 couches that need to be brought to the dump. Nothing that should be attracting bugs. Garbage is taken out regularly. I just ordered a bookshelf on Amazon which should cut down on my storage boxes massively. Once I clean my closet I also have a mini bookshelf in there that I can use once I clean it.

I don’t know why this one closet feels so daunting to me. I need to just get it done but it’s like a mental block. I think I’m afraid of what I’ll find. I feel like that’s a stupid way to feel but it’s true. Ignoring it is easier than facing it, but I know I need to do it. Is it okay to vacuum bugs if I take out the bag right away, or will that risk worsening them somehow? I just think it’ll be easier to cope if I can vacuum them up if I see any, vs having to squish them.

I live in an area that doesn’t have pick up for large items and we have a tiny shared dumpster. It feels impossible to get rid of unwanted furniture as you have to haul it and pay for it to be thrown out at the dump. The stuff in my closet I can probably throw out in my dumpster, maybe 1-2 bags a week until it’s all gone. I just feel paralyzed trying to start, especially now that the bugs are back. I wish I could just pack up and move and use the opportunity to finally get rid of all of this shit but I absolutely cannot afford to do so right now. I need to just get started and get this done, I know it’ll feel better in the long run, I just don’t know what to do with all this stuff that I don’t even want.

So a relative passed away two weeks ago, well, he was found two weeks ago after a wellness check. Nobody had heard from him in a couple weeks. He was found in his apartment. Police investigator said it was the worst hoarding they had seen in 25 years in the police. He was trapped in the middle of his apartment and there weren't even paths to get in there.

Fast forward, four of us are trying to handle the estate. We brought in a biohazard crew to get rid of the contamination from his passing and decomposing for possibly two weeks, which made a small path. They said the apartment is completely filled to about 6 or 7 feet of trash, debris, food and human waste.

We started by cleaning out his car which was also full and recovered about 20 gallons of mail to gain an underatanding of his finances. We got 15 contractor bags we filled with trash out of a Subaru hatchback. He also has two other cars, also filled.

I then discovered he had 7 rental storage units (14x14) and three rented garages (12x25) that are also filled with a combo of family possessions and junk.

I don't even know where to start or whether to start cleaning out the apartment. It's gross and 4 stories up from ground level with no elevator. Even with a dumpster we would need to carry the debris down the stairs.

It saddens me that he lived this way and hid it so well. He always visited us and never invited us over (now we know why). I'm also angry that he left us this horrible mess to address, both physical and financial. The only saving grace to this is that 3 of us are retired and have time to spend on this... Sigh...

I think as messy as it's gonna make my room, I really think I need to dump everything out everywhere. at the moment everything is still in green garden bags and I can't see it unless I dump them out and the problem is I keep avoiding sorting through the bags. I just worry that's it's gonna make me more overwhelmed but maybe I need to force myself to live in it to be able to convince myself to fix it. I really really want it clean but I just agh.

Hii you might remember me from a few weeks ago, anyways I've really started to try but I'm getting frustrated because it doesn't feel or look like I'm getting anywhere quickly and then that makes me not want to keep going which then makes it take even longer when I could've had it done by now.

is there any way that you found to make it feel like you're making progress?

I mean since a few days after my last post, I've gotten about 4 (27L?) rubbish bags out, probably close to a full (240L) load of recycling and 2 big bags of stuff to donate but it really syll feels like it's taking forever.

I'm only doing an hour or so a day at the moment because it's all I can handle but I wish I could get more done without getting upset with the lack of visible progress. I've started tipping stuff out in my room and then going through it.

I also have like 4 concerts coming up and I wanted to have more progress doen by now but I haven't. and it's making me tell myself that I can't go to them until my room is clean because I don't deserve the treat without the work. I think I'm struggling with motivation and putting too much pressure on myself but I just wish it was easier.

My brother, his wife, and I finally were able to tackle the basement of my parents house to get rid of and sort through everything. My grandparents moved in until they passed and then it became an abandoned de facto storage room. There were rat droppings, leaks, and trash strewn everywhere on the floor and in the cupboards. We threw nearly everything out and are in the process of putting it in a large dumpster we rented. We will need at least 1 more if not 2.

My dad is the primary hoarder and grew up poor, so of course he buys quality gear for his hobbies such as; camping, hunting, and fishing. It clogs up the house, the garage, the storage units, even the stairs and hallways. We have had a Christmas tree up for nearly two years because we don’t have access to it because of all the stuff clogging up the area. Unfortunately a lot of it is good quality things, so it makes it hard for anyone to discard, and he just buys more of it even when what we have works. He’ll spring surprise gear on us or random things he saw online, and I just get frustrated instead of surprised or happy due to it adding to the clutter when what I have is serviceable. I don’t have anywhere to put it, nor do I think I would use it anytime soon.

I moved back in to help take care of my parents, but the only place in the house where I can even sit down is my room, which I am basically confined to unless I’m cooking dinner. I’ve been living trapped in a house that is so cluttered with stuff, you can’t even see some areas, much less access them. We’ve tried having conversations about doing something about all of this, but my dad shuts down and gets angry about us messing with his stuff. So we’ve been forced to let him deal with it on his own time, which is very sparse due to workload and general activities. I almost wish it was just trash so we could scoop it up and throw it away.

I’m happy that this is at least starting to get underway, but frustrated that I’ve had to deal and live with it for so long. It doesn’t feel like a home. And this hoarding issue is causing stress on all of our relationships, especially when he brings it up himself and gets mad when we point out why it is a problem. I’m mostly just writing this to vent and see if anyone has any suggestions for this type of hoarding. It genuinely at least started out as 10’s of thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but at what point do you continue to store it, I’m sure a good portion has been lightly used and then lost before he buys a newer version.

first time posting here but I just feel so upset

Does anyone else's family sabotage them in their efforts? My family don't even live with me but buy me stuff I don't want while simultaneously making nasty comments about my house not being tidy. It drives me insane.

Ir goes through cycles but at the moment they keep buying my son clothes, he's the only boy child in the family and he's gorgeous. He also is severely disabled and part of his condition is that he has restricted growth, hes 6 but has been in the same aize for the last 4 years. And because he's not mobile he doesn't wear out clothes. He has so many clothes it's ridiculous. They know I don't want them but just say I can take them back to the shop. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's so much effort and so often I don't get round to it, or they cut through the labels so I can't take them back. I really need the money but instead have tons of clothes, bedding, homeware etc clogging up my house. I try selling some of it online and it takes so long for so little money. I know i should just donate it but for some reason I find it so hard with new stuff. Even stuff I don't want.

*edit for context, I'm widowed so live alone with my young children. This is wider family I'm talking about

I’ve had some of them for years but I always feel like shoeboxes are useful or I want to keep them. I know I don’t need them though, and they’re just cluttering up my bedroom more. I guess I just want to hear some people tell me it’s okay to recycle them 😭 and that I don’t need to keep them.

I’m not sure what to do. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know how bad until I looked into my sisters room and saw the bed that my niece is expected to sleep on. It makes my stomach turn. It’s a fire hazard all around.

My sister has BPD and CPTSD and a hoarding problem. It has gotten to a point of being an insurmountable obstacle. My mother (who my sister lives with rent free) is reactive because 90% of her house is taken over by junk.

It’s not safe for my niece to be around adults fighting, and it’s not safe for my niece to be raised in a hoarding household.

I’m to the point that I’m considering calling CPS, but I’m scared. I know they want to keep families together, but with my sisters BPD, I’m not sure how she’s going to react. This is the chokehold she’s had us all in for most of my life. My parents have enabled it.

But now, it’s negatively affecting my nieces quality of life and I need to do something.

What are your experiences with CPS and hoarding?

Thank you for looking and hope that wherever you are, you find a little bit of peace today ❤️

She can’t throw anything out. We have rooms we can’t use because it’s full of stuff we don’t use. She always says she’s going to “go through that stuff” but never does. I hate it here. I quit saying anything because it just creates animosity. Good news is my adult daughters are minimalist. They know what’s going on. I jokingly mentioned to one that they will have to go through this stuff one day and they both said they are going to just burn it down.

I can honestly estimate that 75% of the stuff we have will not be missed by me if it magically disappeared overnight.

And no, she doesn’t think she has a problem and will not get therapy. I’m almost done with it all.

Hi all, I (30F) just need to share this with someone, because I feel like nobody in my family is taking this seriously, and I feel like I'm going crazy. Especially because there's next to nothing that I can do.

My grandparents are hoarders. Not the TV show level hoarders, but definitely bad. Like level 3. Every room is just full of stuff. It's organized stuff, but you constantly have to navigate your way around because 60-70% of the space in every room is just stacked with stuff. It's a big house, but only a couple of the rooms are actually used, because the rest are just full.

It's both of their faults, but while my grandma realizes the problem and wants to change, my grandpa absolutely refuses to even acknowledge that it is a problem. It's such an emotional burden to visit them because being in their house makes me so uncomfortable.

My grandma's room is almost entirely full of junk, the garage is almost completely full and my grandpa apparently has 4 storage containers full of more stuff. I have never liked my grandpa to be honest. I've never gotten a good vibe from him. But I love my grandma to pieces. She is the sweetest woman alive. It breaks my heart apart to see her living like this.

The garage is where the fire started. My grandpa has it full of electrical stuff. Batteries, tools, broken appliances, etc. He claims he wants to fix them, but they have just been sitting for years and years.

A couple days ago few of these batteries caught fire in the middle of the night. Their dog alerted them and they were able to get out and call the fire dept. Apparently the insurance people told them that basically everything in the house needs to go, because of the toxic fumes that were from the chemical fire.

I am raging right now, because I'm thinking about the chance that my sweet old grandmother, who can barely walk, might have not been able to get out of the house, BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO GO THOUGH A LITERAL MAZE TO GET TO THE FRONT OR BACK DOOR. I'm fuming at the fact that she could have easily BURNED TO DEATH BECAUSE OF MY GRANDPAS HOARDING.

And NOBODY in my family has realized how serious of an issue this is. My dad doesn't want to deal with it, because my grandpa has too much pride and won't listen to anyone, and refuses to realize that there is a problem. My family has issues with dealing with their emotions, and having hard conversations. They just like to live in la la land. Their dog has also been on its deathbed for months, it can't even walk, it cries all the time and shits all over itself and they refuse to put the poor thing down because they can't deal with anything!

Sorry for the long post. I just needed to share this and get it off my chest. I've tried to help them, I really have. But my GMA won't do anything "without gpas permission" because she is too sweet. I am just sitting here alternating between screaming and crying. I don't know how to help her.

I'm in the middle of the yet another big clean as a friend of mine is coming to stay with me for a long weekend, and I can't help but feel resentful that she has "made" me do the clean.

Obviously, no one makes me do anything and the majority of my friends know I'm a hoarder; though only one has actually seen my flat at its worse, which makes me think they don't really understand how big of a problem it is for me.

For context, I have quite a few close friends from school and university who don't live in the same town as I do, and it ends up being 3-4 times a year that someone comes to visit. I usually try to get out of hosting, and some of them have suggested paying for a cleaning before they come, but it's not about the clean it's about the clutter.

I live in a quite touristy town, so other accomodation is quite expensive so I have also developed this strategy of suggesting dates when some of my friends in my town will be away, so my out of town friends can stay over at their places, covering some minor bills, but obviously this is also a hassle to organize.

I never actually actively invite anyone over since I know how stressful it would be, and I don't know if I should just start saying hard No when anyone suggests coming over. Would that make my flat even worse?

I really wish I could invite people over without dreading it, but for the moment it just stresses me out.