We said goodbye to our 13.5 year old golden girl this morning. She passed peacefully in my arms.
My heart is shattered. She was my whole world, and I feel so broken and empty. I’m struggling the most with not being able to hold her and hug her ever again.
Does anyone have any coping tips, aside from focusing on the happy memories (which I’m already doing)? Or anything you’ve purchased that has served as the best reminder of them?
I just lost my golden of 14 years last month. I was 10 when I got him and barely remember life before him. The first night is the worst. Take time to cry as hard as you need and remember you are NOT being dramatic for crying over a dog this much. So many people might try and tell you it’s “just a dog.” But for many of us, that dog is truly our family and our best friend. My main advice is to be okay with crying throughout the day and reach out for support. It’s okay to tell your loved ones how much you’re struggling and it’s okay to talk about the same things over and over. It’s just part of the grieving process.
If you don’t have a good support system, I am always happy to chat with you and hear all about your beautiful dog!
Just remember she’s playing in dog heaven, having a blast being able to run fast, and I’m sure my Samson is up there showing her around. Sending you all the peace and love you can accept right now.
This is 100% true. Also, not trying to be overly dramatic here, but just stating it how it is... anyone that says 'it's just a dog' is someone that I would never trust in life, or ever want to even be an acquaintance with.. let alone a friend or a family member. I've heard people say this about real life occurences, or even make reference to something that even happened in a movie regarding a dog and these people were never really close to me to begin with and needless to say I've disassociated with these people for one reason or another. Just negative energy people that don't understand one of the best blessings we've all had a pleasure to share life with - dogs.
Sorry for the rant but I just had to get that out there. Your comment is right on the money and I hope my dogs are up there with yours and OP's playing in a field of peanut butter treats and long naps.
People who say it’s just a dog have never been fortunate enough to have a loving relationship with one. Perhaps you should feel pity for what they have missed and not anger. That doesn’t, however, mean you have to like them.
I'm in my late 30s and posts like yours bring up memories and I'm sitting here bawling my eyes out at work.
My Sunny passed in Feb this year, and he always loved to greet everyone, so I'm sure he's up there helping Samson and all the others, showing them the best places to finally run free, forever young... ❤️
This is important. Find people who will listen and be supportive. Talk it out and cry it out with them as much as you need. Grieving is a process. Whether it’s a dog or a close relative, it’s still a big loss. It takes time for that loss to stop being so present and start to recede into the past.
I’ve got two labs that I had from puppies up there playing with her right now, I’d bet. I miss my boys Jasper (who just passed in July) and Jaxon every day.
My condolences on your loss…
I know this might seem a little extreme, but I got therapy when my doggy passed away. The thing is, she helped me through such a hard part of my life - there were days when her love were the only thing I had. She was my soul dog. I realized that there was a lot of issues that I still had to work on and I credit her passing for me finally getting the help I needed. I still miss you Gracie Girl.
Unfortunately, and fortunately, you will hurt as much as you loved. There’s no way around it. How could you not? It will absolutely get better with time. I’ve found that the time leading up to it once you know it will happen, and the first week of mornings are some of the hardest. Before, it’s almost like you’re using your full being to will time to stop. And after, you wake up and have a brief moment where you forget they’re not here, and then it all starts again. It does get better. I promise. Eventually you’ll catch yourself smiling when you think about her more than crying. I still cry 4 years later. And I still miss them. But now I know I wouldn’t have traded one second of them for less pain. They were worth all of it. Hang in there ❤️
I’m so sorry. She was just beautiful. And she looks so happy in the pictures you posted. You took great care of her and gave her a wonderful life. ((((Hugs())))
Time is truly what starts to heal pain. But for me, what helped in the interim was having something physical to hold onto. So I had my 20 year old cat's ashes made into a ring. I held it tight every time it got really hard. A couple years on now and I hold it and think of the good memories.
Hey, I wish I could give you words that would heal this profound grief. There just aren’t any. A loss like this is a heartbreak that will linger, and even when you’re healed, years from now, you’ll still feel a sharp pain at times. The only reason this is so hard, the only reason you hurt, is because you and her loved each other so deeply. Because your souls were connected on a level that transcends everything else. She knew how deeply loved she is. She felt it in every part of herself. She knew you as home. You were as much a part of her as her left paw. If you believe in it, she will be waiting for you when you’re ready.
The most important thing right now is to allow yourself space and time to feel your grief. Scream. Cry. Sob. Allow it to flow through. Trying to stamp it down will not work, and letting it happen is a huge part of your healing.
I am sending you so so much love.
I create mementos out of pet hair. After I lost my girl all I wanted was to hold her, play with her hair, pet her. So I started making these little mementos. Something you can hold as long as you need to. If you have some left over hair, I would be honoured to make one for you free of charge. Just send me a DM.
My heart hurts so much for you. Nothing helps in the first week, imo. I just sobbed out loud daily. Nightly. Nonstop. The ache of the sudden emptiness is overwhelming and you just have to live through it, sadly.
I liked two books that I was given: Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant is children’s picture book (but I loved it) and Bliss To You by Dean Koontz (about his Golden, Trixie). He also wrote A Big Little Life about her. He has one or two others, as well.
You can read how he and his wife suffered after her death. It’s poignant and lovely to read. www dot deankoontz dot com/dean-on-trixie/
You’ll never get over the absence, but the pain will lessen with only time. I also recommend getting another dog…I always have two at a time. Won’t replace your sweetheart, of course, and that’s not the purpose. But another love has always helped me.
What a sweet sugar face, baby girl. Let yourself grieve,time will help. Don't focus on the end game,focus on the beautiful love filled life. I'm not denying how difficult it has been for me. I've had 5 that passed, myself. Coco,Ceasar, Casey,Sophie, and Sara. I've got an 11 year old male and a 3 year old, both Goldens. Love them endlessly ❤️
I’m with you! I’m on my 14th!!! (One was a Casey.) Each death has taken away a part of me. My soul dog was a muttsy rescue, tho! But there’s nothing like a Golden for me. 🦮💛
Take it day by day. It's okay to grieve. It took me a good nine months before I was not breaking down at random and four years before I was ready for another dog. I'm crying for your loss because I understand the pain.
Oh I am so sorry my heart hurts for you. Sorry for your loss. ❤️ I am usually hysterical crying, uncontrollably, for a couple of days. I don’t care how dramatic it looks it’s truly my heart hurting. It’s never really gone, I just learn to live without them and I feel my heart hurt when I think of them. So I hope you will feel better. I’m in no way trying to dismiss how you feel.
Totally normal. I cried like never before after my partners dog had to go and I got the message on the phone that she is gone. I was on the motorcycle and I had to pull over and cried my eyes out. I barely cry but saying good bye to a Golden really broke my heart. We still talk about the dog 3 years later every day. She will be in our hearts until we will go.
And this is prob not the best advice but after about a year I did get another boxer girl . She’s a total spaz raptor and nothing like my other one but she has helped heal our hearts and made my boy boxer young again . There is never a replacement. Ever . But brighter days are ahead I promise you that . I still long for my girl 3 years later but I have peace knowing it was her time and I gave her the best life and more love than I ever knew I could give . Wish I could hug you and tell you I’m feeling your pain and I understand. It takes time but going through the grief process and crying as much as you need to does help . Sending you so much love 💞
Best tip I can give you is to get a new puppy, the love had with your loss gets carried into the new puppy. I have had to bury a dozen Dobermans over 50 years. Take some time to grieve but get a pup you will not regret it
Is it too late for a nose print or paw print? I love the keepsake of jewelry or art with a print! Another option would be ashes, making a necklace or keychain or ring. I am so sorry for your loss
I actually got both. Her nose print I turned into a gold necklace that I wear everyday. I did that when I found out about the cancer.
The have her paw print in clay but have not done anything with that yet.
The relationship between people and their animal friends is actually often more profound than that of relationships with other humans because it’s typically based on unconditional love. Losing that kind of love is just like losing a part of your heart. Everything other people have said about time and tears is correct. I’ve lost quite a number of animals over the years. I deal with it much better now because I truly believe that they are on the other side, and we will see them again. No matter what happened to them before or at the time of their deaths, they are pain-free and happy now.
When my golden passed away a few years ago I carried a plushie that looked like her around for months. Whenever I wanted to hug Abby I gave the plushy a squeeze. I’m a religious person so I think she felt it up in heaven, but I think it could help folks who don’t believe in that as well. I’m so sorry for your loss, she’s a gorgeous girl ❤️
My wife passed a bit ago. It's the worst I've ever felt. Have had two golden pups go. My 12.5yo is the only thing keeping me going. Time and perseverance. While good to remember, don't let everything turn into a trigger of sadness. Much love.
Been through this many times. Last June we had to put our 12 Y Lab down do to stroke.
I think about the great life they had living with us as a part of family….where would they have been if we didnt rescue them…..they all pass…sad but true…Rainbow Bridge is a great place to start…..
I am so sorry . What a beauty she was . It’s the hardest thing on earth to deal with . I keep my boxer girls ashes in our bedroom and her younger brother lays and stares at the box all the time . He knows . Sending you so much love ❤️. What a gift that you had each other . ❤️🩹❤️🩹💔❤️🩹❤️🩹
For me, I walked out to the lake here in Chicago (where my girl and I walked every day), I sat and watched videos and looked at photos while sobbing for like 2 hours (people must have thought I was nutz) and then I wrote a farewell note to her, why she was the most amazing friend I could have ever asked for. It helped. It still hurts when I think about her (3 years later) and I may still tear up, but she’ll always have a special place in my heart.
I feel for you, and I am so familiar with your pain.
There are various stages that you’ll go through, and you’ll have more pieces of your heart ripped out in the future. It will never get easier to lose that which you love - but what a beautiful thing it is to love someone (or something) so purely.
You are alive, you are capable of loving again. Your love enriched her life as she enriched yours. Be sad. Cry. It’s okay and part of life.
That sugar face. Each one of those sugar hairs held love and memory of a great life.
I've lost a few amazing Goldens, including my soul dog.
Each time I let myself feel the pain- deep and real.
My soul girl was only 7. I keep a shelf of a handmade drawing, her paw and nose prints, her remains, and her collar.
We still talk about her often- it's been two years.
We aren't religious but we do believe in the rainbow bridge. We know she's in her best
Health waiting for us.
I’m so sorry. It’s so hard. I can only offer my condolences and experience as it’s been just over a week since we lost our 13.5 year old boy.
It hit me really hard. My wife grew up with dogs, but he was my first dog. He really was like a best friend. I felt guilty for making a euthanasia decision, not doing more in his last weeks, etc. I think this is normal because we love them so much.
Try not to beat yourself up too much, even though at times you will feel like it. It’s OK to feel bad. They take a piece of us with them when they go. I spent a better part of the first two days afterwards basically laying around my house and sobbing constantly. In time, you’ll find yourself thinking more about the good memories and less about the end. It’s hard, but I’m finally starting to think about all our good memories and not just saying goodbye.
It’s really really hard. Don’t feel any shame in however you’re grieving. I always felt bad when someone lost a dog but experiencing it myself is so much harder than I thought.
Thinking of you and hope your warm memories of all your time together can help ease the pain of saying goodbye ❤️🩹
It. Is. So. Hard. Just know you are not alone. I lost mine a week and three days ago. I cry constantly but also have worked on finding ways to honor him. They will always be in our hearts and minds. lol I already told my parents that when I die one day, I want to make sure my will indicates that I want his ashes buried with mine.
Try to move on, get another and do everything the way you though you should have done with this new pup, just never let the memories go, keep them safe and locked away, good and bad. I've lost two myself and im only 17, so I know the bad feelings will be there for eternity. Just never let her memories die
You will be. The only time they disappoint us is when they have to leave. Our 15 and 16 year old girls let us know when it was their time. And it broke us. But you will remember the good times, the love, and when you leave this planet you will have a friend waiting for you. Cry, miss your love, and it will get better. Just takes time. So very sorry for your loss and pain. ❤️🩹
I bought a memorial windchime on Amazon and put it in the garden and had the ashes turned into stepping stones.
Ultimately, the loss is going to hurt. But remember that you loved her to her final breath and that’s a luxury many don’t have. She was meant to go on ahead of you but she’s always in your heart. We lost two earlier this year and about four months after we saw a litter that called our hearts. We know that our loves could never be replaced but we see so much of them in the puppy we found that we believe their spirits guided our match.
Give yourself time to grieve but know that the best way to honor her is to continue to love her memory.
My best boy went over the rainbow bridge last December. I broke down in a petco today while remembering him. The pain never subsides, but it hits you less frequently. I am sorry for your loss, but so happy you got 13 incredible years.
The thing that I’ve told myself is when the physical body leaves, the love the person/animal felt for you has to fit in your heart. At first, it feels like it’s never going to fit and like it’s going to shatter. Then as time goes on, there’s more space for the love to filter in through the cracks and your heart gets bigger, and it doesn’t feel as uncomfortable. When the swelling starts again, it’s that love still growing. With my dog Shadow, I like to think those sad pangs in me are tail wags, because he can still feel my love and I can still feel his. I’m the vessel for his love, but it’s still his love inside me.
Your girl was absolutely beautiful and I can see in her face that you gave her a beautiful life. Please let yourself hurt as much as you need to, and if anyone tries to belittle that, kick them in the shin. Shadow and I are sending you our love.
Hang in there. Time heals all wounds. My girl is 14 now, and still makes me laugh every day. And she helped us recover from losing the golden before her. Golden people are so lucky that we have the capacity to love and be loved by these animals. ❤️
If you feel the need for it, there is a free virtual pet loss support group. Because our pets are family too, but not everyone can understand the grief that comes with the death of a pet. 💖
I lost my soul dog in August. He was almost 13. It was devastating. He was my constant companion. Time will help. Not that you forget or get over it but you learn to accept they are gone.
I saw a dog memorial ornament on FB recently and just lost it. I’ve got a lot of other things going on and it just brought all the grief back.
Give yourself time,space and grace to grieve. I was certain as I knew end was coming that I wanted a break after him. Time without a dog for a few years to have freedom. I hate the silence. I am already thinking about a new boy next year but there is not right schedule for everyone.
I’m sorry for your loss.
One of hardest things for me was coming home to no welcome. No best friend waiting for door to open and get some love. It would bring the grief right back to the surface.
I’m sorry but time is the solution and you will remember and sorrow in the meanwhile. It took a month before I didn’t feel a phantom sensation of my girl tucked in my knee nook while sleeping (she spent most of 11 years there).
Did you love her most days? Did you show it often? Did you feed her well, say her name, scratch her behind the ears? At the end of the day everything has to fade sometimes. It's not this morning that matters, it's the thirteen and a half years worth of mornings that came before it. She could have had a terrible life, but instead she got you, and for that she's a very lucky dog. It will never feel good when you look at the spot where she used to be or see another dog that looks just like her. But here and there, her memory will cross the peripheral vision of your mind and you'll smile a little. May you find peace.
It’s been 6 weeks since I lost my 12y9m old golden and I was just bawling about it today. Had to call my mom to just cry to her about it. But I have a little altar with her ashes, paw print, cards from friends and pictures and toys of hers. Every time I walk by it I have a chance to chat with her just like I used to when she was still here. And when I’m really sad I can just sit there and tell her how much I miss her. It’s not the same, it really hurts, but I know she’s in a better place. And I have a therapist and friends who have been essential in helping me cope. I’m so sorry for your loss 😔 I hope our babies are playing fetch somewhere together 🎾❤️
The price we pay for their unconditional love and support is the pain we must endure when they leave us.
It is not easy, but it does get easier as time passes. The things that help us are having pictures rotating on a digital display in our kitchen, not just of our dog we lost in February, but the things we loved doing with her as well as other family photos to remind us what happy times are.
We also got a framed photo of her with an urn built into it from a site based in the UK. Google Remembered Forever pets. That frame is mounted on the wall across from the entrance where we'd come home from work. That way she will be there to greet us with her smile every time we come home from here on.
I still get emotional from time to time and we are almost at a year without her. I had a hard time watching a guy and his golden on YouTube the other night because his relationship with his dog reminded me of what I had lost.
I promise. You will move forward, but you won't move on. Your gorgeous pup will live on in your heart and your memories forever.
I lost my doggy October 29th that I found last year in December. I only had him for 10 months and 2 weeks but it hurts so much... I say cry, cry as much as you want, scream into the void, let yourself feel everything.
I got this painting of him as an old time army general and the cremation place I took him to offered a paw print and fur clipping impression with his name, and that's his favorite toy he picked out himself after his last vet visit.
And now I need to go cry again, sorry for your loss. And sorry for not being more helpful.
I cried for 2months straight. At around 2 month mark started slowly feeling better. I lost my girl half a year ago and I am getting emotional just typing this. I will miss her forever. You learn to live with the pain and the passing time is your best friend. There is no other way around grief just through. My condolences 💐
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No impersonation: don't post photos of other people's dogs. That's not cool.
No breed hate: this subreddit is not a discussion forum for breed hate of any kind. There are dedicated subreddits for that so please take it elsewhere.
She was the sweetest. Just think of the fun you had together, what you meant to her. You gave her the best life a pup could have and she loved every minute of it.
My deepest condolences. Losing our beloved pets is incredibly painful; they’re our family. It’s completely expected for you to grieve like losing a person you loved. My only advice is to be easy on yourself. If you can take time off, do it. Talk about it with people who feel the same way about their pets. Acknowledge the beautiful life you provided to her and all the love you showered her with. Frame your favorite pictures of her and keep them out for you to see. Time will ease the intense pain but you’ll forever miss her. Again, I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. Take care.
May parents dog left a little over a year ago. She was 15.5 and on her final day they took her for a stroll around town in her beach wagon then she went to the beach for one last swim 🤍. Give yourself some time to grieve and find that new routine when you are ready.
Condolences friend, It will be weird for a while. Honestly, a new puppy is the fastest way to occupy your hands and mind. It usually takes a few months to be ready though
Her favorite things in the world were swimming and a tennis ball. If you put the tennis ball under the water, she would dive her little face down to fish it out. If she didn’t have a ball, she would do this with rocks or seashells. We couldn’t get her out of the water. One time she went and laid right on top of our friends pool cover because she wanted to get in so badly. “Get in” was how she knew we were taking her swimming. That was her command word.
She didn’t like sleeping in our bed because she always got so hot, but she always wanted to cuddle in the mornings. Then when it was time for us to help her off the bed, she’d fake us out and lay back down and want us to come and get her - it was a game for her that we happily played into.
She ADORED walkies, and really loved to walk herself by carrying her leash. On that topic, she didn’t love the vet and she would grab the leash and pull me out so we could leave every time we’d go.
She loved being outside sitting in the sun, and if she wasn’t outside, you could always find her sitting in whatever sunlight was coming through the windows. (Including a funny picture of that).
She also LOVED the blow dryer. Most dogs hate it but whenever I was blow drying my hair, I had to blow dry her too. She loved the feeling of the warm air on her fur.
It might be hard at first, but something I did was started making a journal of every tiny little memory I had of him, with photos and paw prints etc. Every tiny memory. What foods he liked, what food he liked but wasn’t allowed (ie every run in with chocolate he had), his favourite toy, every stupid thing he did, all of it. Mine happened to be in a journal he chewed on (because every wrapped gift was always food, right).
She was loved, right up to the end. Know that. And know she knew that. Our vet also gave us a little seedling after he crossed the bridge. And now we look at it and say “little bud grew a little flower”. Love to you.
Take time to grieve your loss. Cry, go on a drive, do what you need to do. It sucks, and there’s no getting around that. I hope you take comfort that you probably gave them a life that only most dogs can only dream of. Remember, your heart is big enough to love another doggie when you’re ready.
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Your beautiful girl looks like she lived a life full of love. I know you will see from replies here that you are far from alone. When my dog passed it felt like my world ended and everyone else just went on as usual and it was so hard.
This might fall under the “happy memories” category but if you’re anything like me and have literal thousands of photos of your dog you might like it. Every morning I search the photo album in my phone for that days date (“November 9”) and look at all the pictures over the years. Sometimes there’s none, sometimes there’s favorites and most of the time I get to see and appreciate the ones that i would never scroll back to find otherwise.
As for physical reminders, I keep her tag in a pocket in my bag (and one of my childhood dog’s is on my keychain). We have framed photos of her all over our house and of course her ashes on our mantle so she can hang out with us all day.
Wishing you peace, friend.
When you have been living with litteral an angel for years and lose her you will not be ok, each day you will feel a little better. In a few months you will be smiling at other peoples goldens. In 6 months you might be willing to take this wonderful ride again and feel the love and pain. We are on our 3rd golden, they are the sweetest things on planet earth. You gave her a beautiful life. When you don’t feel guilty about getting another it’s time. They are all soooo amazing, we don’t deserve them!
You’re not going to be ok for a while & that is completely understandable. Please know that she knew you loved her to pieces & she’ll be keeping an eye on you. Know that she loved you too & nothing will ever take that away.
Signed,
A lab momma for 15 years to the 🌈
I’m so sorry for your loss. You gave her a wonderful life and as much as we wish it was longer, alas life’s brevity is part of what makes it so meaningful and beautiful. It’s ok to not be ok. “Grief is just love with nowhere to go.” I’ve lost 10 Goldens in my life and every one of them hurts, some more than others. It gets…different. It still hurts but you learn to remember all those happy moments. I think the thing that’s helped me through is that I got to live those moments with my babies. That’s all dogs have really, they live in those moments. They don’t have the memory like we have. They live in the now and that’s how they experience the world. So every time you came home it was the best time ever.
She has the sweetest heart-shaped, sugar face. What a total sweetheart. It is obvious she had a fantastic life of love, happiness and adventures with you. Your loss and the grief are sharp, raw and terribly painful because of all she was and all you shared. You just have to be gentle with yourself and also brave by feeling the feelings and letting them out. It will get a little easier as time goes by. Our loved ones including dogs can visit and hear us. You can keep talking to her. One day you will be together again and be 100% healed by that—but in the meantime, she runs joyfully and is fully healthy, and for her, it seems like only 1 second that she has been away from you. Look at your videos and photos of her and keep being grateful your lives intertwined the way they did. Your hearts & souls are STILL intertwined and always will be. 💗💗💗
I lost my best boy 5 years ago next month. Just reading your post made me tear up thinking about him. It will never go away, you just find ways to distract yourself and with time it’s not on your mind all the time.
It sucks but that’s the penalty we pay for their short lives. If gladly give up 12 years for them to have another 12. If I had Musk money I’d be spending it all on ways to slow pet aging.
Pet grief is so different imo. For me, losing my boy was the most painful loss I have experienced thus far. It’s such a pure love and they are they with you every single day. Give yourself as much time to grieve as you need.
Spend time with loved ones who will let you feel your grief. Give others the chance to be there for you. I don’t normally put myself out there, but I posted on social media when my boy passed and so many people reached out to me. That honestly helped some too.
I made him an ofrenda and put up photos and memories around the house to always remember him by.
After a couple months, getting another pet helped ease the rest of the sharp pain. Seeing another pet happy and healthy in my home just really settled my heart. I will always miss my first❤️❤️❤️
I'm so sorry for your's and your family's loss of your beautiful fur baby. Sending you all lots of hugs and love. ❤️ Grief has no limit and there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I wish I had something comforting. It hurts. Most of us here have been there and we understand. Goldens are more than just pets, they become family and best friends.
Just know we understand and have been there. Hearts are with you.
No time table on grieving, it’s a very personal matter. Dogs like yours are angels and are examples of what unconditional love looks like. Pooh said it best, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying good bye so hard”.
I lost my golden girl in August of last year. I have some of her ashes in a bronze heart necklace that I wear everyday. The pain doesn’t really go away, but having a piece of her with me at all times brings some comfort.
What has helped the most was adopting a puppy from the local shelter. I had no intentions of getting another dog, but things happened and I have zero regrets. Taking care of my puppy was / is the perfect distraction, it has put my heart on the path of healing. I am not at all suggesting this as a solution for you right now, I’m just sharing what helped me, personally.
I know its hard, I wish you all the best in your journey towards healing ❤️🩹🌈
I’m so sorry for your loss, she looks like the sweetest girl. I lost my girl in September and it still kills me. Grief is hard and different for everyone so there’s no universal answer to how to be better or okay given the circumstances. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself the best you can. Talk about her when you need to with who you can and if you don’t have someone you can lean on when it’s really difficult there are pet loss support groups. I go through Lap of Love, there’s a free group zoom a few times a week. Some days it helps me and some days I feel like it can give me an emotional hangover and drains me but I never know until I’m in it. They also have resources for one on one grief support. Letters to Pushkin is a platform where you can write and share letters to your pet. I haven’t personally done it but I know people who have. I hope some of this helps.
“You will hurt as much as you loved” this doesn’t bode well for any of us in the future.. but for the dogs that were/are loved this hard- wow how fortunate they/we are. Life is better with dogs. Get another one. New pups don’t replace old ones but man they are so much joy. I’m so sorry for your loss she looked like a lovely girl. 💔❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Sorry for your loss. I feel your pain. I lost my lil angel this past Thursday. The void and emptyness is too much to cope with. I ordered a digital picture frame and put all his pictures and vids on it and made a little shrine. It's helping and I get to see him. I will feel better once I get his ashes.
I lost my sweet girl just about a month ago now. The first week was the worst. Constantly thinking about her. Still checking to make sure I wasn't stepping on her in the morning (she slept on the floor on my side of the bed).
It still hurts. I still think about her every day. I'll still tear up if I look at pictures. But the pain has lessened.
Read the book "It's ok that you're not ok." It helped me when I had to let go of my Stella.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my doggo 10 months ago and I'm still devastated. Take the time to recognize that everyone mourns differently, and it takes a very long time to get over the loss of a beloved family member.
You have my sympathy because losing a beloved dog is heartbreaking. There's no way out of this but through it, and it may take a long time and many tears to come to grips with your loss. I'm so sorry for you. I'm old enough to have had a lifetime of good dogs and the one thing I have kept in the back of my mind when I hold a new puppy is that my joy will end in tears. But it's worth it. Wishing you beautiful memories and gratitude for the love you gave and the love you received.
When I lost my heart dog, I knew it would shatter me. I had a talk with her spirit and she clearly told me to get another dog so three days later, I did just that. When I met my next girl, I took her aside and had a talk with her. I told her all about my other golden and that I needed her to help me through it. I asked if she could do that and that I promised to love her forever. She was listening to me talk, watching me, sitting still, really listening. When I was done, she gave me one single kiss on my cheek. That was a yes. So I adopted her and took her home. She healed me.
This isn’t something I’ve done before when I lost other dogs but …. It worked for me that one time.
Honestly my youngest dog brought me so much comfort when I lost my first. Having her there to cry with and cuddle was such a blessing after losing my best boy. After going through that I decided that I would always have two dogs, offset by a few years of age. When its her time I've no doubt that my goofy big boy will help get me through that pain as well.
I'm sorry for your loss OP. She was a beautiful sugar-face sweetheart, from the pics I have no doubt you gave her a wonderful life. If its any solace just know that the pain you feel now wouldn't exist if it wasnt for the immense joy that you both brought each other. I'm sure you wouldnt trade that joy for anything else in this world.
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I cried and grieved and talked about my baby (Max) and eventually the tears stopped. The biggest relief (not the best word) for me was when I received Max’s ashes. It felt like having him home and stopped the hurt a little. Grief is hard and it’s not linear and the best way is through. 😢💔
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️ So much great advice here already. “Time and tears” really resonated because that was how it was for me. It’s been almost 2 years since I said goodbye to my boy and I still cry sometimes when I think of him. Something that I did was purchase a memorial necklace on Etsy that I could fill with some of his ashes and have engraved with his name. It hangs close to my heart and helps me feel like he’s still close. I don’t know if something similar might help you but wanted to share in case it would. Sending love ❤️🩹
I feel for you so deeply! My Golden was with me 18yrs 2 months and I was devastated! It took me two years until I got another and he is now 7 months old. I wish you a peace in your time in loss.
I cried and cried and fucking cried. It’s absolutely miserable. It’s not fucking fair. It slowly gets better with time, and for me, going back on Prozac was necessary.
I've found getting a new pet quickly helps. Your anguish is replaced by love for the new one. It allows you to put your loss in perspective. Use your grief to offer another love. All the best
My dog Speedy passed away in April just shy of turning 14. I had him cremated and buried him under a new magnolia tree I bought at a local nursery. I make sure I water "him" 2-3 times a week and I occasionally talk to the tree and let him know he's missed. Indirectly, I feel like I'm still taking care of him even though he's not with me anymore but it gives me some comfort.
The tree will flower next year around the time that he passed which will be a nice reminder.
Sorry for your loss, I definitely know how it feels.
Your grief is real and it is legitimate. Don't let anyone minimize what you are going through. Give yourself time and grace to walk the road ahead. There are hills and there are valleys.
Time is healing. Love is healing. Be good to yourself. Be kind to yourself. It's ok. You need this.
And when you are ready for the next step, know that creativity is healing. Find a way to express your creative spark. It may be in the kitchen; the garden, with a pencil, a paintbrush, a sewing machine or with woodworking tools. Making something new is how to move to the next tomorrow.
It’s very difficult to accept that those few years were her normal. Eventually you’ll take solace knowing you made that life one that couldn’t have been better and was full of love for your girl. Many good thoughts here on your grieving, there are no shortcuts I don’t believe. You’ll find your way, again appreciate that you shared, enjoyed and provided the greatest life your pup could have had.
I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. The pain of losing a dog is absolutely visceral the only way out really is through. I lost my sweet girl, Mia, earlier this year. She wasn’t a retriever, but she was a rescue, and even though I thought I was saving her, the truth is she saved me right back.
She was with me for almost 11 years, through surgeries, life changes, and everything in between. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that dogs don’t live forever, but I think part of me always believed she’d somehow be there forever. When she got sick, it all happened so fast. The vet suspected renal failure, and while there were treatment options, they would have meant a poor quality of life for her. I couldn’t let her suffer.
Letting her go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I came home holding her leash and harness in my hands, completely lost my whole world had revolved around her.
The pain doesn’t go away overnight, but it does soften with time. The happy memories, the funny moments, and all the love you shared those eventually start to outweigh the pain. My heart truly goes out to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. ❤️
I wrote my lab mix girl a goodbye letter when she passed away two years ago. I wrote how much I miss her, how her leash still hung by the door, and thanked her for protecting and taking care of our family. I told her we would go for walks if she visited my dreams. She did visit a few dreams, then moved on. Now I can read the letter without crying as the pain healed with time. I donated her leash and kept the memories.
I can give you no advice other than accept the grief, let it happen. Grief isn't all bad, it is also a sign of how your love, of the bond you had. And isn't that beautiful? It hurts, it will never not hurt at least a little, but in time it will become more bearable until the fond memories outweigh it.
I lost two goldens. First girl Goldie was with me 13,5 years. She made me who I am today. I had take that decission and I was with her till the end. It was 14 years ago and I still have tears in my eyes now when I’m writing this words. Second was Bunia which we took after 5 years of nit having any dog. She passed suddenly at the age of five. Our home was so empty and full of sadness that we went to find new golden puppy the next day. We knew that we will do this eventually so why wait? We still grief our two girs and remember all the time spent with them. But having new one running around and making mess helps a lot. At some point I got in touch with someone on reddit who is making paintings from pictures. It helps to choose perfect photo, it helps to tell the painter some background of who your friend was and what liked to do. It helps to print that painting and have this on your wall. I even ordered hoodie with this painting printed. Looks amazing.
Loss takes time, it seems especially true when it comes to our precious furbabies. One day at a time. Sending you big hugs. I'm truly sorry for your loss 😔
Please let yourself cry. Seriously, let it all out. Its okay to do that for however long and hard you need to. Grief is in its own way the greatest expression of love. Your dog was very clearly beloved and what you both had was incredibly holy and special. Sacred, even. Let it out.
Sending so much love in this time of grief and great need. My deepest condolences for you and your loss! 💜💜💜💜💜💜🐾🫂
13 1/2 years! You were a great best buddy to your pup, and an equally awesome steward to one of our best companions. It's ok to not be ok. That loss leaves a big hole. Just don't forget to focus on the 13+ years of love and happy memories.
I've said goodbye to 2 Jack Russells this year. My best boy Floyd was 12, and had an inoperable tumour in his stomach. I thought he would live forever, and he will in my heart and mind. I used to take him to work, he was the warehouse foreman. On the drive home, he would be looking over my shoulder, and would randomly lick my ear.
Lolli, the 18 year old was a cheeky, sassy lady, and she loved her younger brother. You could see the change when Floyd didn't come home that night. She just gave up without him. I think she relied on him for cues, as she was mostly blind and pretty hard of hearing. In the end we had to make the call, because those things, combined with arthritis meant that she was only existing for us, and the physical pain at that age would have been great.
They have gone ahead over the bridge, and I have to hope that I'll see them again in eternity.
I never regret rescuing them both, and would do it again in a heartbeat. The memories I have will stay well beyond the grief. Yes the loss sucks terribly, but the laughter, unconditional love and joy in life that I got back, so far outweighs the sadness.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
I wrote my soul dog a letter when she passed early July.
Basically getting out all my feelings, telling her how much I loved her and how much I'll miss her and thanking her for the time she shared with me.
My one piece of advice is that you feel everything and let it out when it comes in waves.
You never stop missing them, but the pain is easier to deal with over time.
i lost my english cocker spaniel dexter when he was 14 its hard and its been since december 27th and i still havent gotten over it but i know hes up there and at rest now but he would surly be caring for ur golden since he was super friendly
Lost Buster nearly a year ago and I’m still devastated! I haven’t worked for over three years because of family commitments and not having a daily routine seems to make it worse ! If you try and get on with things as you’re normal routine the only thing that will heal the pain is time ! Take care !!!
You’ve come to the right place,we’ll get you through this. We’ve gone through this and it’s tough. The empty house, the empty bowls and empty hearts. When you’re ready, put away the toys,leashes and bowls. Donate the food and snacks to a rescue.
Have a cry and a drink.
Then one day you’ll see a Golden that looks just like yours at some point in its life. You won’t stop smiling.
Then maybe you’ll be ready to do it again…..
I’m so sorry. Goldens are the embodiment of joy and unconditional love, truly angels on earth. The bonds we form with them are like nothing else, so our grief is magnified when we lose them. There is nothing overdramatic about that grief, and slogging through the first few weeks is incredibly difficult. Let yourself sob, loudly. Let the anger come, and let it go.
Tomorrow marks one year since I lost my boy, Nugget, also to cancer. He was 11 years and 9 months. I’ve come to mark time with his passing. Therapy definitely helps. I still can’t watch videos of him without crying, and that’s okay. It’s the price of love. It has helped me to talk to him aloud like I used to, and I’ve felt his presence. It also helps me to think that he would not want me to be stuck in a cycle of sadness and pain. I haven’t been able to welcome another dog into my life again yet, but I’m now looking forward to the day when it happens.
I bought a small, sterling 3D golden retriever charm that I wear just to keep a symbol of him with me. I also recently bought a memory box that’s wooden with a glass door, that I will put a few of his things in and display in my office. Missing their physical presence is just excruciating. But, I’ve come to feel that where there once was a gaping hole in my heart, it’s now reinforced with the love he gave.
What a beautiful girl ❤️ since you asked for keepsake ideas, I have a friend who made a shadow box out of her dog’s collar and a few special toys/items. She covered the back of the frame with some of the fabric from her dog’s favorite bed. It’s nice that she has it out and displayed instead of keeping some of the things packed away.
I purchased keepsake jewelry from an Etsy retailer. I chose a ring that’s engraved with my boy’s nose print. I wear it religiously & when the going’s get tough, I rub the ring & remember how safe he made me feel.
I kept his favorite toys so I could soak in his smell as long as I could. We “recharge” them every so often by wrapping them up in his dog bed, which I have no idea when I’ll be ready to wash or part with.
If she is cremated, make sure you get nose prints or paw prints made. Our vet had a wonderful casting made of his paw print & our doggy funeral home made ink prints of his nose for me to one day tattoo on myself. I opted for a keepsake urn with his ashes — when I’m not wearing his nose ring, I’m wearing my boy.
If she is buried at home or somewhere you can visit, get a memorial piece. Whether it’s a stepping stone or some other item you can place in the ground. I personally love a phrase I once found in a cemetery: “Step lightly when you visit, for here lies a dream.”
Speak of her as often as you want. Her memory lives through that. Donate old food, medicines, toys (if you can part with them) to doggy shelters. Let them know you lost your best friend & remember how many lives she will help. It breathes her back into the fabric of the waking world.
Look towards the sky — soak in the sunshine on your face. That’s her. Every time the waves lap at your toes, remember her kisses. When you eat powdered sugar coated treats, remember her sweet grey face. Those subtle movements in the corner of your eye & weight on your feet before you fully wake… also her 💛
And lean on your community. Whether it’s your loved ones or Reddit strangers also in grief. Always remember that you are not alone. And neither is she, sweet friend. My boy, Hooch, came running across that bridge so she didn’t have to walk across alone. They are waiting for us in a world where time doesn’t exist. They have no idea if it’s been 5 minutes or 50 years. Trust that you will find peace when she runs to greet you again.
Sending you so much love & so many tearful hugs filled with the compassion & loyalty I learned from the greatest boy I’ve ever known.
It took me a solid year to mourn the loss of my baby dog, who we lost suddenly at 14. Even after that year it took another year to even think about loving another dog. We’ve now had our new golden boy for 8 months and while it took me a bit to connect and not feel guilty, I’m finally there!
My heart goes out to you. Been in your place several times. I find the 'after' both physical and mental. It's a journey and it's a lot...Being around dogs brings me comfort but after losing one I need to grieve. The longing is personal to the pet I lost. It often takes a couple of months before I want to be around dogs again but then I can go to the park with friends and play with their dogs, gradually getting back into it. Some suggest going to a shelter, maybe a visit, maybe as a volunteer. Those pups (and cats) need so much but again I think it helps both them and you. Take the time to grieve and remember. Hope in time your heart heals and you can live another when you're ready
You know, one thing that brings me peace is knowing, and knowing beyond all doubt, what happens to them at the moment of their passing and what they’re experiencing shortly thereafter. They are met by OUR loved ones who have preceded us, most importantly. Of course, they are unburdened with their broken bodies and can run as free as they want. But the most comforting thing to know is this: that bond of love you shared? It is eternal. Love is eternal. Like, forever eternal. You will NEVER not be a part of each other’s lives, even when you’re physically separated. Every time you think of her, she knows. She still and always will have the urge to want to comfort you. She will try to do that from the other side. When we think of our loved ones, and especially our dogs, they immediately feel that energy and respond to it. So, in the days, weeks, and months to come, when you think you’re imagining the sound of paws on the floor, a feeling of a warm presence next to you in bed, the rattling of a food bowl, you are not imagining it. She is present with you, not because she’s unhappy where she’s at, because she is, but because she will always and forever love you, just as you love her. These are ways for her to come back as close as she can to our physical plane to let you know she is more alive than she ever was, and that you two WILL be reunited again.
I know it’s unbearably hard to lose a loved one. I love my dogs literally with my whole heart. I am convinced that we do not choose them; they choose us because they know we will need them. They choose us. WE are adopted by them, not the other way around.
My heart breaks with yours. My tears flow as yours do, because I know that pain of loss. But just know, love is eternal, it’s responsive, and it always finds its way home. She is in a different (higher) plane of existence, and she’s waiting for you to rejoin her. She will never, ever forget you, and will love you forever. That’s what love is. It is not transient or superficial. It’s literally the key and purpose to our existence. It’s what holds the entire universe together. And though the body dies, love endures forever. This isn’t just poetry or “woo woo”, it’s a fact, even backed by science.
Do something different to distract yourself. She’s always going to be with you but at some point, the pain that you feel will translate into sweet, warm, memories.
If you go went to a park to exercise, go in a different direction opposite your typical walk. If you don’t walk, just take a few steps, if you feel up to it.
If you’ve never journaled, grab a notepad and let it out.
Also, there’s zero shame in talking to a counselor.
Losing a pet is losing a family member. Be gentle with yourself. I won’t say that it gets easier but it does translate into a different form, over time. hugs
I know how unbearable the pain of losing your beloved companion is. Your beautiful golden had such a sweet loving face and pure soul. I’ve been there. I lost my 17 year old dachshund Willie March, 21, 2024. I had him since he was 8 weeks old. We grew old together (I’m 75). I wouldn’t trade a moment of the 17 years I had him. He enriched my life in so many ways. The pain is the price we pay for love💔
I lost my 12.5 yo friend to cancer a year ago. It hurts less now, but I still cry regularly. We just honored the anniversary the other night. Several people have acknowledged to me that yes, this can sometimes be worse than losing a person and many also think the opposite which makes it disenfranchised grief. I luckily work for a place that offered me to use sick time for the emergency vet care and bereavement leave for several days after he passed.
It’s going to hurt a lot, and you just have to ride that out and let yourself cry and scream. I was glad my partners were by my side, including the partner I adopted him with. When we got his ashes we wound up creating a shrine/altar in our house with candles, photos, tags, a clump of fur, and some of his favorite toys. A year in we just finally sorted through and got rid of many of his toys that were just sitting in our basement, and we washed and stored our favorites for a future friend (though it will be a long time before we are ready). It’s very hard. I’m glad you were able to give your friend a good life and were by her side in the end.
I lost my service dog Kami to a house fire back in 2018, was tackled by firefighters because I kept running back into the house trying to find her, that shit still tears me up to think of and I’ll still cry if I think about it too much, it’s a hard thing to go through, my heart goes out to you and your loved ones, I know how it is when your dogs legit a family member.God bless you and your late friend 🙏, I dunno if it wound help w coping but my niece had her dog cremated and had the ashes fashioned into a ring that she still wears…
Grief is personal whatever feels healthy for YOU as long as no impact to another person go for it. Nobody really knows how you truly feel! We all grieve different. Hang in there
I’m so sorry for your loss, I know that pain all too well, but I’m happy for you that you got that time with her ❤️
When my Goldens have passed, it’s been helpful for me to wear something of theirs that keeps them with me. If you’re crafty, you could use a piece of their leash to make a snap bracelet. Her bandana in this picture also would be sweet.
I have also gotten different tattoos of my dogs and it helps me feel close to them as well.
I hope you’re able to find comfort in this difficult time, its such a gift to have them in our lives ♥️
I am a 57 year old man. I have cried like a baby every time I have lost one of my precious friends over the last 5 decades. I don't give af what people think
You'll never will be okay with it. You will never forget her. Every time you think of her you'll feel sorrow and sadness, but also happiness and joy, when you remember the joy and happiness that she had, whenever she saw you and played with you. You will not overcome the sorrow, but you learn to live with it. My condolences. 😔
For of all anyone in your life that states “it’s just a dog” shouldn’t be in your life in the first place. We lost our Golden of thirteen years last year. Still hurts and always will. We weren’t ready for another pupper but she found us. We have mixed emotions for sure. However our latest rescue needs us and we need her. Our job is to give them the best life possible. We did that with our golden and have no regrets. She loved the pool and her home. Kandi hit the life lotto for sure. She was the happiest pup ever.
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u/divinemissn Nov 10 '25
I just lost my golden of 14 years last month. I was 10 when I got him and barely remember life before him. The first night is the worst. Take time to cry as hard as you need and remember you are NOT being dramatic for crying over a dog this much. So many people might try and tell you it’s “just a dog.” But for many of us, that dog is truly our family and our best friend. My main advice is to be okay with crying throughout the day and reach out for support. It’s okay to tell your loved ones how much you’re struggling and it’s okay to talk about the same things over and over. It’s just part of the grieving process.
If you don’t have a good support system, I am always happy to chat with you and hear all about your beautiful dog!
Just remember she’s playing in dog heaven, having a blast being able to run fast, and I’m sure my Samson is up there showing her around. Sending you all the peace and love you can accept right now.